itsthatpearl

[itsthatpearl]

Hello, Darlings!

I hope you had a warm, cozy Christmas and a joyful start for the new year🩷

I am almost done writing Chapter 9 to my fic "Dawn of Love"✨This chapter will be Spicyyyyyyy❤️‍🔥 I hope you will enjoy it!

New year comes with new silly things! I will attend cons with my Astarion cosplay that will be better AND hotter!!!! If you are interested in my cosplay content, my tiktok is @that.pearl and it will soon be full of the new Astarion cosplay🥵

As always, likes, shares and comments make me so incredibly happy, so if you enjoy my writings, don't be afraid to show it🩷 My DM's are also open! I would love to meet other Pale Vamp lovers✨

XOXO Pearl🩸

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous Chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 8: A Little Death

AO3 LINK

Astarion reveals Aura something he has never revealed to anyone else.

Word count: 2.6k

Thank you Cas and Kris for beta reading <3

TRIGGERS: trauma, angst, fingering, oral (f!receiving) fluff, L-bombs, handjob, p in v sex, multiple orgasms.

----

Gale handed me a plate and smiled, probably trying to make me feel better. I smiled back at him as best as I could.

I still didn’t know if we had made the right choice when we freed the seven thousand spawns to the Underdark from Cazador’s crypts. It had made Astarion weird in a way. Numb. He said he just needed time.

Him being safe was all that mattered to me, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling of guilt from my heart. What if this is just another catastrophe waiting to happen. What if freeing the spawns was a big mistake.

“You did the right choice. You and Astarion” Gale said, taking me into a warm hug. At least my friends approved our actions.

I nodded and sighed.

“I hope so” I muttered, suddenly bursting into tears.

Gale held me even closer.

“What is is, Aura? Why are you crying? We won, Astarion is okay, you saved so many lives” he hushed.

I sobbed into his tunic wetting the deep purple fabric with my tears.

“I failed him. He wanted to ascend, and I ruined his life. And I promised the Devil I would help Astarion do it” I quavered.

The wizard soothed me by stroking my hair.

“You didn’t ruin his life. You will both see this was for the best. And what comes to the Devil, I promise he won’t be a problem” he said with a calming tone.

I nodded and after sobbing for a moment I calmed down and just listened to Gale’s heartbeat.

“Thank you. For being such a good friend” I whispered.

He took a long, deep breath in and nodded.

“Of course. You matter to me, Aura. You matter to all of us. And Astarion too” he said quietly.

“What about me?” a voice purred behind us.

I turned to see Astarion standing head slightly cocked to the side. I dried my eyes and couldn’t help but smile.

“Nothing. It’s dumb” I said and let go of Gale.

“Can I speak to you?” Astarion said softly, raising a brow and offering his hand to me.

Gale nodded, gesturing me to go. I stood up taking Astarion’s hand.

“What is it?” I asked quietly.

He gave me a playful glance and started leading me away from the camp.

“I want to show you something I haven’t shown anyone else before”

We walked hand in hand quietly. The air was warm, but I could sense we were both struggling to find the correct words in this situation.

“I guess I have to get used to not seeing the sun ever again soon” Astarion said, breaking the silence.

I stopped walking and looked at him.

“Don’t…don’t say that” I tried my best to keep myself from tearing up again. “We could still find a way to control the tadpole….or a way to cure your vampirism…or…or…” I started sobbing again.

Astarion hushed and wrapped his arms around me.

“Maybe, but even if I could control the tadpole, it’s a dangerous game” he sighed. “I’d spend every day waiting for something to go wrong. For the tadpole to find some new trick, reassert itself, and make me a slave again. Or waiting to find a cure that we might never find” he said quietly and kissed my head.

I looked up at him. His eyes were so gentle.

“Maybe never seeing the sun again is just the price of freedom” he whispered.

I closed my eyes.

“I…I don’t know what to do” I whispered back.

I felt his lips softly pressing onto my forehead.

“Me neither. But we have time to figure it out” he said as he took my hand and started walking again.

I glanced at Astarion confused. I stared at a gate that led into a graveyard.

“What are we doing here?” I whispered.

He smiled softly, opening the gate and walked in. It was quiet, as we were the only ones there.

The moon casted a beautiful, yet haunting light, that created shadows around us.

Astarion stopped in front of a gravestone. It was old, that was for sure. You couldn’t see what it said, as the vines around it had gone wild and grown all around it.

I watched the rogue in silence as he kneeled down and wiped the stone.

“Astarion Ancunín, from 229 to 268” I whispered while reading the runes written in elvish.

He came to stand next to me.

“Nearly two hundred years, and I never came back. Not since the night I woke up down there” he said while looking at his grave. “I had to punch through the coffin and claw my way through six feet of dirt. Then when I finally broke the surface, retching up dirt and congealed blood, Cazador was waiting. From that day on I was his. Until today”.

I shook my head.

“You were never his. Whatever he had, he took by force”

Astarion sighed.

“Maybe, but he did take it. There’s almost nothing left of the person I was. Just a name on a rock” he claimed sadly.

There was a long silence.

“For nearly two centuries I stalked the streets like a ghost while the person I was lay here, dead and buried. Now I need to figure out who I am. What I want” he added.

I was afraid to open my mouth, but felt like I had to say something.

“And what do you want?” my voice came out almost as a whisper. Afraid to know the answer. 

He turned to look at me.

“You…I want you” he started to smile slightly.

I felt my heart skip a beat.

“You were by my side through all of this. Through…bloodlust and pain and misery. You were patient. You cared. You trusted me when that was an objectively stupid thing to do” he smiled more. “I feel safe with you. Seen. And whatever the future holds for me, I don’t want to lose that”.

I felt a single tear drop on my cheek. 

Astarion turned and sighed.

“I should probably fix this” he muttered and kneeled in front of the gravestone once again. 

He started carving something onto the cold stone. A new year. The beginning of the rest of his life.

I sat down on my knees to look at him. The silver curls of his hair moved gently in the wind. His eyes looked determined but soft.

When he was done he moved next to me to admire his work.

“I’ve been dead in the ground for long enough. It’s time to try living again” he smiled and turned to face me. “With everything that life has to offer” he said softly while taking my hands onto his.

I looked at him and smiled softly. I could feel him slightly caressing the back of my hands with his thumbs. His smile turned into more of a coyish grin. 

“What…do you mean by that?” I asked, suddenly confused.

His grin got wider.

“If a night of passion is on offer, I…could be persuaded” his voice got lower, more seductive. But not the way it had been before. He stared deep into my eyes, smiling.

“Are you…are you sure?” I looked at him, searching for something, anything, to prove to me he wasn’t sure.

He looked away, letting my hand go.

“You know, I didn’t care for you when we first met. But I do now. Being with you is more than…lust or manipulating you into a tactical alliance” he said, turning to look at me again and stopping for a beat.

I opened my mouth.

“I love you. I love this. And I want it all” he smiled.

I stared at him in silence. 

Suddenly there was no wind, as if it had stopped just to hear this.

Astarion pulled me closer and placed a soft, lingering kiss on my lips.

I had forgotten to breathe, so when he pulled away I gasped for air.

“Astarion. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world” I said.

For a moment he smiled at me, before pushing me down onto the ground.

I watched as he moved on top of me to devour my lips once more. It felt like we hadn’t ever kissed before.

Astarion pulled away from the kiss for a moment.

“I’ve missed this” he whispered.

“Intimacy?” I asked quietly.

He nodded.

“Feeling free” he whispered before closing the space between us and kissing my neck.

I gasped and lifted my hand to grip his hair slightly.

“May I drink from you?” he said in between drowning the skin of my neck with kisses.

I bit my lip and nodded.

“Please do”.

He bit down, letting out a satisfied sigh.

I started sliding my hand down his back slowly as he drank me in. I could feel him growing hard every minute. My head started to feel dizzy, but I couldn’t locate if it was from the loss of blood, or the fact that I had to have him inside me as quickly as possible.

“Touch me, Aura. Please” he whimpered, almost pleading.

I didn’t need further encouragement.

As soon as my hand slid inside his breeches he moaned loudly into the quiet night air. He was already painfully hard and leaking precum. 

Astarion placed sloppy, wet kisses on the spot he had bit and started moving down until I couldn’t reach his throbbing cock.

“Even though I would love to have the sweet relief immediately, I am a gentleman, and won’t leave the love of my life unsatisfied ever again” he grinned while kissing down my chest, opening buttons along the way.

“You have never left me unsatisfied” I did my best not to sound out of breath. “I never want you to do anything you don’t wa- AH!” I moaned loudly and grabbed a fistful of his hair as he closed his mouth around my clit.

“Shhh, I know my sweet. Now be quiet and enjoy…if you can” he grinned and started lapping my core with his hungry tongue.

I was not going to last long, and Astarion knew it. He pushed two fingers inside me, curling them just to the right spot. He still knew every single place that made me cry out his name.

And I did, while he lapped and sucked me, dragging me closer and closer to coming undone.

The cold ground beneath my back added just the right amount of pain to the sensations my body was feeling.

“Astarion” I whimpered as I felt my orgasm building up.

I got an approving hum in return, as his other hand interlocked our fingers together.

I came while gripping his hair and hand.

I opened my eyes to look at him, catching his breath as his lips glistened in the moonlight.

“That was…” I breathed out.

“Good?” Astarion smiled.

“Even you know that would be an understatement” I giggled as I sat up, grabbed his face and kissed him slowly. “You are so good to me, Astarion” I whispered. “Let me be good to you” I opened my eyes to look at him.

Silence.

“I trust you�� Astarion said, eyes closed.

I kissed him slowly.

“You can tell me to stop at any moment” I smiled against his lips. 

He answered by devouring my lips again.

I glid my fingers down his abdomen until they reached their destination. I wrapped my fingers around his length and gave it a lazy stroke.

Astarion’s breath hitched.

I looked at him.

“Don’t stop” he whimpered, brows furrowed in despair.

“I won’t” I whispered back and started moving my hand slowly up and down.

Tiny moans escaped his lips as I felt him grow even harder under my touch. I kissed his neck softly while working him closer to his climax.

“Fuck Aurora” he moaned.

I couldn't help but smile against his lips.

Suddenly he grabbed my hand, stopping it completely.

“I- Sorry I thought-” I started before he devoured my lips in a bruising kiss, which I welcomed with a soft moan, eyes closed.

After a couple of feverish kisses we both catched out breath. He placed kisses on my cheek, moving up to my ear and nipped it.

“Lay down” he ordered with a seductive tone, and as I opened my eyes, he looked at me with a hungry, desperate look.

I laid down, pulling him on top of me and kissed him deeply.

His fingers flew to toy with my clit, which made me gasp onto his lips. I was already soaking wet from the pure bliss I got from pleasuring him. 

“My my, if I knew you’d enjoy touching me this much, I wouldn't had ever prohibited you from it” he purred as his dexterous fingers drew tiny circles on my flesh.

I would’ve answered him something back, but the feeling was so intense I couldn’t do anything but moan.

“Look at you, already so close” Astarion sighed and moved his fingers up to caress my breast.

I whined, frustrated by him.

“Tut tut, I will let you finish again my love, but only if you are deliciously wrapped around me, screaming my name while I fuck you” he growled into my ear.

I moaned loudly as he slowly pushed inside me.

It had been so long since we had sex. I had forgotten how big he was. His cock slid inside with no resistance, stretching me deliciously. I bit my lip and looked at my pale rogue. My eyes were met with his. Astarion catched his breath, opening his mouth. His hand came to grip my hip softly. Then he started moving.

Slowly at first. The air was filled with quiet pants, lips and skin smacking onto each other. 

Then the pace got quicker. Pants turned into moans, kisses into gasps of air and the air was filled with sounds of Astarion’s hips snapping onto mine with a punishing pace.

“I- fuck” he started before letting out a loud moan. I felt my climax starting to build up quickly. 

“I love you” he gasped. “And also I- I- I can’t hold myself much longer” he whimpered.

I moaned before looking into his eyes.

“Cum with me, my love” I whispered.

Two more pushes and we both stumbled into the sweet depths of our shared orgasm. Our sweat dripping bodies all tangled up on each other.

I hadn’t noticed how cold the night had become. As the heat between us calmed down, I started shivering. Astarion held me tighter against him, as if it would help at all. But I couldn’t care. I was too exhausted to move. “My love, you will catch a cold” he whispered.

“How horrible would that be…spending days in your arms” I muttered back.

“Unable to save the world? I don’t think so. You would do it even if you had the plague” he giggles quietly.

I smiled and kissed him.

“Are you okay?” I whispered. 

“What do you mean my love? Of course I am okay” he smiled. “Don’t I look okay?” he raised a brow while giving a roguish smile, flashing a fang at me. “You do, better than okay” I nodded. “But I mean...this was our first time having sex after we decided to have a break from it” I stroked his cheek gently. “Are you feeling okay, do you want to talk about it?”.

He smiled and closed his eyes.

“I feel good. I want to take things slowly. This doesn’t mean we will do this every day now but…I don’t feel…used…with you” he breathed out and opened his eyes.

I smiled back and nodded.

“That is good. You set the pace, I follow” I whispered before kissing him softly.

[itsthatpearl]

ALR ALL YOU NASTY CUTIES. I AM BACK AT IT AGAIN.

I know it's been a long wait, but the newest part of my Astarion fic is almost done🩷✨ Thank you for all the patience and the love and support I've received✨ My healing has gone good and I am back at work. Now I am writing smut to satisfy you hungry little gremlins🙂‍↕️

Kisses,

Pearl🩸

[itsthatpearl]

Helloo lovelies🩷

My surgery went well. I had an arrhythmia during it so had to stay a night at the hospital but I am home and well. Will get back to writing when life doesn't feel so overwhelming! There is a oneshot of Astarion coming and soon I'll continue Dawn Of Love🩷

Take care✨

xoxo Pearl🌸

[itsthatpearl]

Hello lovelies!

I am in the middle of haunt season and my surgery is in 18 days! I will continue Dawn of Love, but it might take a few weeks🩸❤️

Thank you for your patience, dearest reader! I am incredibly happy ppl enjoy my writings!

IN THE MEAN TIME:

Ask box is open, YOU CAN ALSO SUBMIT SMUT DRABBLE IDEAS THERE🩸🌸

LIKE, COMMENT, SHARE the fic, it means THE WORLD to me❤️

xoxo Pearl🩸💋

[itsthatpearl]

yes.

Tav: What are you in the mood for? Astarion: World domination Tav: That's a bit ambitious Astarion: You are my world Tav: Awww Astarion: Tav: Astarion: Tav: OH

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous Chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 7: Ascensionism

AO3 LINK

Astarion meets his destiny, but Aura is struggling with her morals.

Word count: 2.8k

Thank you Janna for beta reading <3

TRIGGERS: TRAUMA, blood, stabbing, heavy topics, hurt, it's pretty dark, someone please hug our tiny rogue.

----

Astarion marched in front of our group. Everyone was silent. It was already getting dark and we didn’t have much time to lose. I didn’t know what to do. Raphael’s voice pounded my head.

“Astarion will fight Cazador and try to become the ascendant himself. You need to help him become one”

Astarion would be able to walk in the sunlight for forever. Even after we get these tadpoles out of our heads.

But at what cost?

“Aura!” a voice called behind me.

I shook the thought off as Gale caught up, his brows furrowed with unease.

“Are you sure we are ready to fight against him?” he said as quietly as he could, making sure Astarion couldn’t hear. “I have a bad feeling about this and I think we shouldn’t-”

Astarion stopped quickly, turned around and gave Gale an annoyed grin.

“My dear wizard, it is me who will fight against my master, who made my life a living hell. If you don’t want to be there when that happens, I couldn’t care less” he growled. 

“I…I didn’t mean-” Gale started to say but Astarion interrupted him again.

“I do not care if every single one of you decides to stay and put a camp right here. Hells, I don’t even care if our road together ends here. You are all free to go if you think it’s too dangerous” he looked at me and turned away to leave.

I stared at him in disbelief as the words sunk in. I didn’t have to think too long before a hand came to rest on my shoulder.

“Astarion, you are one of us. We want to be there” Karlach smiled at his back and turned to wink at me.

I smiled slightly back at her and nodded. I walked over to the rogue and wrapped my arms around him burying my face into his silver curls.

“Gale is just worried, but we will be alright” I whispered.

For a moment we stayed there. It was silent, peaceful even. Astarion took a deep breath and turned around placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

“Thank you” he murmured.

I gave him a soft peck on the lips and turned around to look at our group. 

“Shall we go? This is getting too tender for me” Lae’zel shook her head in disgust.

“I agree” Shadowheart nodded.

I smiled at Astarion, but felt anxiety creeping into my body. I hope this isn’t the last time we smile at each other.

We walked through the dark city, Astarion’s hand in mine. I could feel the air getting colder around us. The streets were empty.

After a while we stopped in front of a huge gate. I stared at them as the moment of realization hit me. 

“These gates…” I talked under my breath.

Astarion didn’t turn to look at me.

“That night…you were going to bring me to…him” I said, barely audible.

He looked down and nodded.

“I shouldn't have led you here” he had said. He saved me that night.

“Did you…did you get caught?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

He looked up at the castle brows furrowed and I could see something shifting in him, something dark and haunted.

“I know the way in”

Astarion led us inside and into the crypts. The air was thick with the smell of mold, decay and blood. The sound of water dripping down from the ceiling was loud enough to make me nervous. There were dark cells in the room.

“Where are we?” Halsin asked.

Astarion shook his head.

“I…I don’t know…I haven’t ever been in this part of the castle. We weren’t allowed to come here, so I figured there would be something we weren’t allowed to see” he said with a low tone.

Suddenly a hand grabbed me from the darkness behind the bars. I jumped back, my heart almost pounding out of my chest.

“Help me, please” a man with a hollow face said with an exhausted voice.

“I…I…” I stammered in shock.

Astarion looked at him and his eyes widened in fear.

“You? I know you! You’re the one from the tavern! You smiled and joked and got me drunk!” the man gasped.

I turned to look at Astarion confused.

“You?! No…you’re…dead?!” Astarion stammered in disbelief and took a step back.

“You called me so many sweet things…my name sounded like a lyric on your tongue” the man said, closing his eyes, as if he could still hear it inside his head.

“Sebastian” Astarion whispered.

I looked at the man behind the bars. He had long hair, and I can picture he used to be handsome before he got turned into a vampire spawn.

“You remember me?” the man asked.

“You were handsome…shy…you’d never been kissed” Astarion shook his head slowly.

“You taught me how” the man sighed sadly. 

I looked at Astarion and I could see shame in his eyes.

“And then you destroyed me” the man growled and suddenly tried to grab him. We both jumped back but the man got tired after struggling for a moment. He collapsed down onto the floor, sobbing.

Then I saw it.

“Astarion…he has the same runes on his back” I gasped.

He looked at me, raising a brow.

“So Cazador marked them too…bound us all to his ritual” he muttered.

I looked around at the cells. More hollow faces appeared to see what was happening in the room.

“Gods. I know so many of these faces” Astarion said with a sad tone.

I saw our companions stare at him in pure shock. Gale looked at me and shook his head quietly. He knows this won’t end well.

“They are the ones you took to him?” I asked Astarion carefully.

He nodded.

“They are my conquests. I pursued them, seduced them, then brought them to Cazador. He told us he was feeding on them. But he turned them to spawn. He turned every last one so he’d have souls for this cursed ritual” he said with an angry tone.

“So why did you save me then? Why didn’t you save him?!” I asked in disbelief.

“Do you have any idea what he did to me after he found out I had come back empty handed that night?!” he snapped at me. “He sealed me into a dusty tomb for an entire year with nothing to eat. A year of silence. Months of scratching my hands raw, trying to carve my way out. More months of not moving at all. Months wishing only for death” he continued. “So don’t you ever judge me for doing what Cazador ordered”.

I looked at him, guilt and sorrow swirling inside me. Saving me had made his life even worse.

“I…I am sorry…” I teared up.

He shook his head.

“I don’t want your pity. I don’t regret saving you”.

I took his hands into mine.

“Cazador will pay for what he did to you. What he did to these people” I said. “You will defeat him, and he will never hurt anyone ever again”.

We walked deeper into the depths of the castle. A stairway led us to a massive hall. The room had people floating in the air in a circular pattern and in the middle of it all was a man. He had pitch black, long hair and piercing red eyes.

Astarion approached the man slowly, visibly guarded.

“Who stands before us? Is this truly our prodigal son?” the man grinned in surprise.

I saw Astarion’s posture lower down. He was seemingly angry.

Cazador.

“Do not slouch before me, boy! Have you no respect for yourself?” the vampire hissed with a disgusted look on his face.

Astarion straightened his posture slowly.

“Look at you, crawling back after abandoning your family. You should be begging for our forgiveness” Cazador said angrily.

Astarion shook his head.

“Forgiveness? You’ve never forgiven anything. Every mistake, every slip was punished!” he growled.

“I strove for perfection in all things. Even those as imperfected as you” the vampire spat out. “A pity you amounted to so little, despite my efforts” he added.

Everyone was quietly staring at Astarion as he clenched his fists.

“No! No, fuck you and fuck everything you’ve ever done to me!” Astarion yelled in frustration.

I felt a wave of rage crash through my body. 

“We know all about the ritual! We’re here to stop you!” I yelled at Cazador.

“The cattle low about things of which they know nothing. The ritual is centuries in the making. Nothing shall stop it now” he answered with a smug smile.

“That’s what you think, you son of a bitch” Astarion said and ran towards Cazador with his dagger in his hands. But before he could strike, the vampire hit the floor with his scepter making Astarion unable to move.

I screamed in shock, but Gale grabbed me, stopping me before I could reach Astarion.

“See how the cattle is trying to save you, boy. You truly forgot my power. You truly thought our bond as creator and creation was all that stopped you from killing me?” Cazador tutted. “You are weak, my child. You are a small, pathetic little boy who never amounted to anything” he added smirking.

Astarion groaned. 

“But today you will finally do something worthwhile. You will burn, and I will ascend” Cazador sighed, satisfied.

I watched in horror as Cazador swiped Astarion to be a part of the circle of the floating spawns.

“No! Stop him!” Astarion screamed at me, struggling to move.

I grabbed my knife, but Karlach stopped me.

“Soldier, we will fight him, go save Astarion” she said.

I nodded and started running towards the struggling rogue.

I heard swords clanging together and my friends screaming and groaning. Do not turn to watch. Go save him.

“Astarion!!” I screamed with tears in my eyes. I helped him and after struggling for a moment he fell onto the floor, catching his breath.

I gave him my hand and lifted him up. Our eyes met for a moment, and he opened his mouth to say something but he was interrupted by screams of victory.

“We did it!!” Wyll yelled.

We turned around to see Lae’zel holding a sword that had just pierced Cazador’s chest. The vampire lord vanished into the thin air, the sword dropping onto the floor making a loud clanking sound that filled the room. It echoed for a long time from the walls. I looked at Astarion, raising a brow slightly.

“Is it…is it done?” I whispered.

He shook his head as he started walking towards the coffin in the middle of the room.

“I’ll finish it” he said before pushing the top off.

I followed him, keeping a distance.

“No healing sleep for you!” Astarion groaned and threw the man sleeping inside the coffin onto the floor. “WAKE UP!” he yelled.

The vampire groaned as he got up slowly.

“Get your hand off me you worm” Cazador hissed.

Astarion scoffed, almost chuckled with a vicious smirk.

“I’m not the one in the dirt” he said while crouching down and grabbing a dagger from the floor.

Cazador stared in horror as Astarion pointed him with it.

“One thrust and I’ll be free of you. I’ll never have to fear you again” he sighed. “But if I finish the ritual you started, I’ll never have to fear anyone, ever” he added with his lips curling up.

I looked at Gale. For a moment our eyes met. I didn’t need to connect our tadpoles to know he did not approve the things that were about to happen.

“You think of me as a fool? That I would allow anyone to usurp me, speak the words and ascend in my place?” Cazador said angrily. “The runes I carved onto your flesh bind you and all seven thousand souls to the ritual. Complete it, and all those bearing the scars will be sacrificed. You included” he smirked, thinking he had won.

I looked at the struggling spawns floating around us. I thought about the hollow-eyed faces behind the bars. This is going to be a bloodbath.

Astarion stared at him in anger.

“You are simply a means to an end. I made you to be consumed” Cazador hissed.

“I am so much more than what you made me” Astarion said and turned to look at me.

I looked at him unsure what to say or do.

“I…I can do this. But I need your help” he said with a desperate tone. 

He still doesn’t know what he should do. My head pounded with Raphael’s voice. 

“if he doesn’t ascend, he will always be cursed to live in the shadows. And you, my dear, will die after a few short centuries, leaving him alone”.

I took a deep breath.

“What do you need?” I asked him.

“Your eyes” he said.

I nodded. 

Cazador turned to look at me in disbelief before turning back to face Astarion.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” he hissed, but his tone was shivering. He is afraid.

“Unmaking what you made me” Astarion growled at Cazador as I walked closer to them. He turned to see me, gripping the dagger in his hand. “Use the parasite to show me the scars on my back, that way I can copy them onto his” Astarion pointed at Cazador.

“You wouldn’t dare” Cazador hissed.

“I would. And I will. You will be consumed and all the power you’ve lusted after will be mine” Astarion said.

“At the cost of a lot of lives. It’s not worth it, Astarion” Shadowhart shook her head.

I suddenly felt guilt churn in my stomach. They are all against this. 

Astarion looked at me. He sees I am doubtful.

“Help me do this. Please” he pled. 

He will always be cursed to live in the shadows, and I will die after a few short centuries, leaving him alone.

I closed my eyes and felt our tadpoles connect. I opened my eyes to see his bare back turned against me and I concentrated on seeing every single detail.

Astarion sighed in pure bliss and smirked at Cazador.

Before the vampire could do anything, Astarion pushed him down, ripping his clothes off to reveal his back.

I stared silently while Astarion carved the back of the screaming man, blood dripping down onto the ground. 

“STOP!” Karlach screamed, but Astarion couldn’t hear her. I felt her hand on my shoulder. “Aura, he will kill seven thousand spawns. He will become just like Cazador. This won’t help him. Please, stop him!” she looked at me in fear, desperate.

He will become just like Cazador.

I snapped out of our connection.

“Astarion!” I screamed and ran to him, grabbing his hand that was holding the dagger. “Don’t! It is not worth it! Ascending isn’t the answer!” I said with tears in my eyes.

He looked at me in pure rage. I’ve never seen him this angry. This…bloodthirsty.

“If I ascend, I won’t have to rely on the parasite to walk in the sun. I’ll be free! truly, completely free! I will be powerful, so powerful that I can keep myself safe! Keep you safe! Isn’t that what you want?” he growled, his eyes on fire.

I placed my hand on his cheek trying to ground him and shook my head.

“I know you think this will set you free, but it won’t. This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador” I pled. “I want you to live a life you are proud of. I…I love you. I love us. I don’t need you to be stronger or more powerful, I don’t need you to keep me safe” I said, while looking deep into his eyes.

He stared at me in silence.

It’s like time stopped at that moment.

There was only me and him.

His face had little drops of blood all over. His hair was sweaty, but somehow still slightly moving with each unneeded breath he took.

“Why do you breath even though that isn’t something you need to do?” I giggled while washing his hair. 

The water was colder than what I preferred, but we needed a bath after the fight we had earlier.

Astarion took a deep breath, eyes closed and smiled.

“I guess I just like the fresh air. It feels nice. Normal” he muttered.

I could hear slight sadness in his tone, but didn’t want to push it.

“Sounds nice” I smiled and kissed his cheek.

It felt like an eternity, but after a moment he took a deep breath and nodded.

“You…you’re right. I can be better than him” he said under his breath.

I smiled at him, relieved and let go of his arm.

He looked at me as his lips slowly curled up into a smirk.

“But I am not above enjoying this” he said and slammed the dagger into Cazador’s heart.

I watched in horror as Astarion stabbed him multiple times, groaning as more blood flew over the room. 

When he was finally done, he dropped onto the floor sobbing. The sobs turned into loud wailing.

There he was. Screaming his eyes closed, grief and pain echoing from the walls.

I’ve never seen him cry before.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 6: Empire Now

AO3 LINK

Aura meets a charming stranger.

Word count: 2.4k

Thank you Janna for beta reading <3

TRIGGERS: first time/loss of virginity, Soft!Astarion, vaginal fingering, oral sex (F!R), PiV sex, hurt.

----

I was sitting at the Blushing Mermaid even though it was already quite late feeling victorious. I had just won a card game against a dragonborn, who now muttered curses under his breath. His heavy-scaled hand slapped the table in frustration

“Are you sure you want to play another round?” I batted my eyes.

“Hells…I am not going to lose this one. I don’t lose to stupid girls” he shook his head.

Great. After this game I will go back home.

“Excuse me, shall I join you?” a smooth voice purred behind my back.

I turned to look at a pair of two brightly shining red eyes. Like rubies. 

“Of course you shall, welcome” I smiled and offered the seat next to me.

An elf man sat down and I dealt him his cards.

“I must warn you, I am determined to win this round” the dragonborn grinned.

“And I must warn you, that I am very bad at these games” the man next to me purred.

I looked at him. His curly silver hair fell in front of his face just a bit. He had a white flannel shirt on. He was actually quite handsome, possibly my age. 

“It’s your turn, darling” his said, his voice dripping with velvety mischief.

I looked at the cards.

“Oh yes, forgive me, I got lost in thoughts” I smiled and continued playing.

After a few turns I understood there were two elves trying to cheat the game and one dragonborn who was losing his scales over the fact that he was, once again, defeated.

“I am out, I fucking hate this game” the dragonborn muttered and left the table leaving me alone with the man.

I looked at my hand.

“I guess you have won, sir” I sighed, not entirely disappointed. 

The man had an annoyingly smug smile on his face.

“Perhaps if you spent less time admiring me, you might’ve won yourself” he shrugged.

I opened my mouth.

“Excuse me?!” I asked, shocked at his audacity.

“Tell me I’m wrong, darling?” he smirked, raising a brow.

I closed my mouth.

“I thought so. Now come on, let me buy you a drink. You may have lost, but you cheat quite charmingly” he smiled.

After two drinks I was giggling at the corner table with my new friend.

“Can you believe that? Me? To ride a dragon” I laughed with tears in my eyes.

He chuckled and shook his head.

“You? Riding a dragon? No, that would be disastrous” he smiled.

I smiled. We exchanged looks. Soft, lingering looks. There were still a few hours before the sun would start to rise and I’d have to sneak back home. But I don’t want this to end. Not yet. I could feel my heart beat louder and quicker. Why does this man suddenly look…so kissable? 

I closed my eyes and quickly placed a kiss on his cheek.

I opened my eyes to see him smiling at me before he leaned closer and pressed his lips on my lips.

So this is what it feels like to kiss someone?

He kissed me slowly while wrapping his arms around my head and waist. I could feel something unfamiliar stir inside me, almost like a burn, but lower than ever before.

The kisses became even deeper, messier and the burn under my stomach got stronger.

Suddenly the man stood up and gave me his hand.

“Come, let’s go somewhere more private”

He closed the door behind him. We were upstairs in a small room that had a bed in the middle of it. I sat down and looked at the man.

“How do you want me?” he purred and started to unbutton his shirt. 

I opened my mouth as his figure was revealed. He looked like a statue, a painting, like the finest art piece ever made.

“I…I…” I started to stammer suddenly, unsure of what he meant by the question.

He pushed me down onto the bed and started kissing my neck with a slow precision and opening my tunic. 

“Well?” he purred.

As he removed my tunic I could feel something hard grind between my legs which made my whole body shake. A sound left my mouth I didn’t know I could make, almost like…a cry?

“I…” I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.

“How do you like to be fucked, darling?” he whispered into my ear.

My eyes flew open.

“I haven’t-” I started to say before the man jumped off of me.

“You haven’t had sex?!” he asked, shocked.

I sat up quickly, covering myself with my arms, feeling suddenly vulnerable.

“I…I didn’t know this was going to be that” I said quietly.

He shook his head.

“How in the hells is that possible?” he asked, still shocked.

I shrugged.

“I just…my parents never let me see anyone. Of course I know what sex is but I…didn’t know it starts with all that” I said. “I didn’t know it would feel like…this” I added blushing.

He looked at me for a bit and started to smile slightly.

“Like…what?” he said quietly, raising a brow.

I slowly let down my arms and smiled.

“Amazing” I purred.

“Oh really?” he started to slowly smirk again.

“Mhm” I nodded and laid down.

He slowly and gently got on top of me and kissed my lips.

“Would you like me to show you something?” he whispered.

I nodded and kissed him.

“Have you ever…touched yourself?” he asked gently.

I looked at him and blinked.

“It’s okay, let’s go slowly, tell me if you want to go slower or stop” he said.

I nodded smiling.

He kissed my neck once again.

I opened my mouth a bit and gasped.

“You like that?” he asked.

“Yes” I whispered.

He kept on kissing my neck and I could feel his hand sneaking down my body to caress my breasts. I smiled at the sensations until I felt him gently pinch my other nipple. I gasped and looked at him.

“Too much?” he asked.

I blinked for a few times.

“Can you do it again?” I whispered.

He smiled and pinched the nipple a bit harder. I gasped louder and bit my lower lip. 

“Want to continue?” he smiled.

I nodded my eyes closed.

His hand moved once again lower and stopped right under my stomach where my leggings started.

I looked at him and felt that his hand was getting close to the place where the burning was waiting.

He watched me as he slipped his hand under the fabric. My heart felt like it could pound out of my chest.

He slowly stroked me with his fingers. I tilted my head back. It felt truly amazing. Suddenly he slid a finger inside me. I opened my mouth and gasped. He started pumping the finger slowly in and out of me and I kissed him.

“Do you want another one in?” he smiled.

I bit my lip and nodded.

He inserted another finger to join the first one and I held him by his bicep.

“That…that…” I gasped my eyes closed.

“Feels good?” he purred.

“Feels incredible” I moaned.

The man stopped and slid his fingers out of me.

“What? Why’d you stop?” I asked confused.

He chuckled.

“Eager for more? I can make it feel even better” he smiled and positioned himself in front of me.

I watched him as he took off my leggings and underpants.

“Relax and enjoy” he whispered and he lowered his face in between my legs and ran his tongue across my folds. “You are beautiful” he purred. 

Gods.

I bucked my hips to meet his agonizingly slow tongue. Then he started to suck the little nub of nerves, which made my eyes roll into the back of my head.

“Gods” I gasped as my hand flew to grip his hair.

“You are doing so well” the man purred in between sucking.

I felt his fingers starting to outline my folds before he pushed two of them inside. I bit my lip as hard as I could. His tongue sucked and lapped faster than I thought anyone could while he pumped his fingers curling them deliciously into just the spot that made me see stars.

“Hells below” I moaned. I glared at the white haired elf in between my legs looking at me with his lustful eyes that shined like two giant red rubies. 

Then I felt as if a string of pressure had snapped in my lower abdomen and I moaned loud enough to the whole tavern to hear, legs shaking. The man slowed down his movements and lapped the hot gush of fluids that dripped down my thigh.

“So…how was that?” the man smiled and returned to kiss my lips.

I tried to breathe, eyes closed, head feeling incredibly empty. It’s like I was not in this world anymore. 

“That was…amazing” I smiled.

“Do you want to…continue?” he asked carefully.

I sat up and looked at him, raising a brow.

“Is there more?” I asked confused.

He smiled and nodded.

“There is” he purred.

My smile got wider.

“Show me” I whispered.

His fingers returned slowly to caress my folds. I could feel I was even more sensitive this time. I cried out softly and after a while of him circling his fingers around the most sensitive part I started to buck my hips to make the sensation more intense. He slowed down and stopped again, but before I could say anything he started to open his breechers.

“This might hurt a bit, so tell me if you are uncomfortable” he whispered.

I nodded and closed my eyes trying to relax my body under him. I could feel him slip his fingers inside me again, pumping them in and out a few times and then replacing his fingers with something bigger. I winced in pain and grabbed his bicep.

“Just breathe and relax, you are doing so well” he whispered and kissed my lips.

I nodded and breathed deeply, and after a few beats I could feel the pain easing.

“Shall I continue?” he asked quietly.

I smiled slightly and kissed him.

“Please do” I whispered.

He started moving slowly in and out of me. I could feel my muscles relax around him, and soon the pace quickened, which started to feel even better.

He gently took my right hand and kissed the fingers while still moving in a slow rhythm.

“Use these fingers to touch the same area I did before, the one that made you feel exquisite” he said softly.

I bit my lip and nodded.

I placed my fingers back to the same place he had touched and licked trying to remember what he did. I drew slow circles on the soft flesh and closed my eyes. Gods. I started drawing tinier, quicker circles, which made my whole body scream for more.

“Hells below” the man cursed quietly into my ear. I could feel he was feeling good too from the way his breath quickened and he started to cry out the same way I did.

And there we were.

Moving in a tantalizing rhythm making beautiful sounds while holding onto each other.

Soon I could feel the wave of ecstasy getting closer, my fingers working harder, faster and at the same time his pace quickened. We both cried out loudly and stopped moving at the same time.

I catched my breath and opened my eyes to see him lying on top of me, eyes closed.

“You felt the same way, didn’t you?” I smiled.

“I did” he whispered.

“Do you think…do you think I could become…” I started to ask but he shook his head.

“It’s not possible” he said and got up.

I nodded. Well at least I don’t have to tell my parents any news.

He turned his back to me and started to dress up. I got out of the bed too and picked my tunic up. 

Suddenly the man turned around.

“Let me take you somewhere” he purred.

I looked at him confused.

“Right now?” I asked.

“Yes, right now” he smirked.

I nodded and dressed up quickly. When I was done he took my hand pulling me closer and kissed me deeply.

“Didn’t you get enough” I giggled surprised.

“Never” he smirked and kissed my neck.

Maybe he wants to go somewhere else, for example his own home. I definitely still have time for it before the sun rises.

He led me downstairs, turning to give me a lingering kiss every now and then. I giggled and looked at the quiet tavern. A few drunken people sitting alone almost falling asleep. The bartender looked at us and rolled his eyes. He is just jealous.

We walked quickly through the dark streets. The man held my hand tightly as he glanced around the corners and behind us almost like he was making sure we weren't followed

After walking for what felt like an eternity, we stopped in front of a big gate that led into a huge castle. I looked at him quietly. The sky had started to show a hint of red, as the sun was almost starting to rise.

“Where are we?” I asked in anticipation, smiling widely. “Is this your home? I didn't know you lived in a castle?” I giggled.

He looked at me quietly.

Suddenly something felt weird in his presence. As if he was unsure what to do next.

“Is everything alright?” I asked and placed my hand on his cheek. “If you don't want to sleep with me again tonight, I understand, you must be very tired. We can see each other some other day” I smiled. 

He stared at me quietly.

I sighed and felt a clump of sadness gather inside me.

“You don't want to see me again” I smiled sadly. “This is our goodbye, isn't it?” 

He shook his head.

“I…this was a mistake. I shouldn't have led you here” he whispered.

I smiled with tears in my eyes.

“It’s okay, I understand. Silly of me to think this could actually lead to something” I tried my best to keep myself from crying.

He sighed and pulled a scroll out of his pocket.

“I am sorry” he said before muttering something.

The scroll disappeared and I looked at him blinking a few times. Who is this man?

“Thank you. I hope I never forget you, Aurora” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss on my lips before disappearing behind the gate.

How does that man know my name? And what is this place and how did I get here?

I turned around to see the sun casting its first stream of light around the land.

I usually miss the dawn.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 5: The Summoning

AO3 LINK

Aura and her companion try to deepen their relationship while they get closer to his destiny

Word count: 1.9k

Beta read by lovely Janna <3

TRIGGERS: talk about past trauma, mentions of sex, kissing, hurt, FLUFF, angst, drama.

----

A woman looked at us, her eyes widening in admiration before she gasped.

“Can I help you?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Yes, you can. Does that belong to you?” she asked and gestured towards Astarion.

We had made our journey to the Moonrise Towers. I had walked hand-in-hand with Astarion in front and listened to the quiet mutters throughout the journey. We had been fighting, side by side and we actually made a good team. He was incredibly skilled which took me by surprise every time I saw him draw his knife from another now-dead individual. Now we were at the Towers, and managed to walk by some kind of a laboratory.

Her question took me aback. I stared at her, startled

“Excuse me? He doesn’t belong to anybody ” I said, irritated.

“I am sure he believes that” she chuckled out loud. “My name is Araj, and I want no harm, just a tiny favor. And in return I shall give you an elixir that gives you miraculous powers” she continued, her voice dripping temptation.

“What kind of a favor?” Astarion asked, narrowing his eyes.

I stayed quiet. I was still too stunned by her question before.

“Since I was a child, I’ve dreamt of being bitten by a vampire. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. So all I ask is to be bitten by one” she said.

I raised a brow.

“You want Astarion to…bite you?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes. More than anything I want him to bite me” she said, closing her eyes.

I glanced at Astarion.

“I…of course I can if you want to?” Astarion offered, clearly uncertain.

I turned to the woman and quickly stepped in, forcing a polite smile

“Can you excuse us for a moment?”

She nodded and I pulled Astarion aside.

“I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to do” I looked him deep into his eyes.

He nodded.

“She…smells…strange. There is something wrong with her blood” he whispered.

I nodded.

“Then you won’t bite her” I took his hand giving it a reassuring squeeze.

He blinked a few times and turned to face the woman.

“Intriguing, but no. I won’t bite you” he said.

The woman shook her head and looked at me.

“The dog is walking its owner. I see” she frowned.

Anger bursted hot within me. Without a word, I threw my knife into the wall just inches from her face. It nicked her ear, drawing a thin line of blood. She winced.

“Next time you will lose an eye. Never ever talk to us again” I growled and turned around to leave.

“Goodbye” Astarion smirked and bowed at the woman.

“You are full of surprises, aren’t you?” Astarion smiled as I laid my head on his chest.

I smiled.

“You know…I spent two hundred years using my body to lure pretty things back for my Master” he started. “What I wanted, how I felt about what I was doing, it never mattered” he sighed.

I got up and looked at him in the candlelight.

“You could have asked me to do the same, to throw myself at her, what I wanted be damned. But you didn’t. And I’m grateful for that” he took my hands into his.

I leaned in to kiss him.

“I would never ask you to do anything you don’t want to” I whispered.

Astarion nodded. But there was something. He was holding back again.

“What is it?” I asked brows furrowed.

“Nothing” he shook his head.

I can’t let him close himself again.

“Astarion…” I started. “Last night you said you wanted something…real…with me. If we want…whatever this is…to work, that means we need to tell each other everything. Even if it would hurt the other” I placed my hand on his cheek.

He looked at me quietly.

“I don’t know how to do that” he shook his head. “I don’t know how to enjoy…” he started but ended up freezing.

“Sex?” I asked.

“Yes” he said quietly.

I took a deep breath to gather my racing thoughts.

“Have I…crossed your boundaries?” I asked.

“No! No, you have been incredible. I just… hells …I don’t know how else to be with someone. No matter how much I’d like to. Everything feels different with you, but I still sometimes feel…like I shouldn’t do it” he said.

I nodded.

“Then you don’t do it” I smiled slightly.

He shook his head.

“I can’t ask you to be with me if I can’t-” he started.

“You don’t need to” I smiled and closed my eyes.

I concentrated as best as I could to use my tadpole. I had been learning to control it in my own tent trying not to accidentally connect with anyone after I saw and felt Gale read a book about different ways to pleasure a woman. That was enough for me.

After a moment I felt our mind connect. I tried to signal him my heartbeat, the way he made my breath hitch and the way I felt for him.

I don’t need sex to feel about you this way. I don’t need you to push your limits for me. I care for you right now, and that won’t change.

I opened my eyes to see him stare at me.

“You would give up on sex for me?” he whispered.

I nodded smiling.

“Thank you” he said.

I kissed him.

We looked at each other and he chuckled.

“Honestly, I have no idea what we are doing. But this…this is nice” he smiled.

We had finally made our way to Rivington after a few long days of walking. Gale went and booked us some rooms from an inn, this time he got me and Astarion a separate room. I sat down on the bed and looked at Astarion, who was repairing some of our clothes that had ripped during fights.

“Astarion…” I smiled and got closer.

He didn’t look at me, but I could see his lips curled up a bit. It made my heart flutter like a tiny bird.

“Do you want to have a walk with me?” I kissed his cheek.

He hummed in approval but was still concentrating on sewing.

I kissed his cheek again.

Nothing

I kissed his ear.

“You are distracting me, darling” he muttered but I could see he was glad I did.

I rolled my eyes.

“Let’s go, before it’s late” I giggled and got off the bed, but Astarion grabbed me from behind and tossed me playfully on the bed.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he smirked and kissed me.

I closed my eyes and felt the heat in between my legs start to grow.

“On a walk…” I muttered softly against his lips.

He nipped my lip.

“Oh really?” he raised a brow and looked at me.

I shook my head and pulled him closer. I kissed him slowly and deep.

Astarion answered the kisses with hunger and I could feel my heart pounding harder.

I started to take off his shirt but then he froze.

He looked at me and pulled away.

“I…I am sorry” he shook his head and turned away.

“No, gods , I am sorry” I shook my head, guilt flooding me.

He didn’t answer.

“I am so sorry, I got carried away” I shook my head more.

“No, I wanted this to work…I wanted to enjoy it…I just…” he stared at the wall.

“Can I…can I hug you?” I asked quietly.

After a beat he nodded.

I slowly moved closer and wrapped my arms around him pressing my head against his back.

“I know you wanted it. But you need time to heal” I said quietly.

“You should go and see if Halsin or Gale wants to be with you, I don’t know if I can ever ‘heal’ from this” he said.

I kissed his back softly.

“I want you. And even if you never want to sleep with me again, I will still want you” I smiled and softly caressed his shoulders.

He didn’t answer.

“I mean it. I…I think I love you” I said quietly, just above a whisper.

I could feel his muscles tense for a beat.

For a moment, he was silent, and I feared I’d said too much.

“You don’t need to say it” I whispered my voice barely audible.

Then, slowly, he took my hand and kissed it.

“Are you still up for a walk?” he asked.

I smiled and nodded.

“Yes”.

We had been walking for half an hour, the evening slowly darkening around us. 

“Shall we grab a beer?” I suggested with a smile.

Astarion chuckled.

“Darling, are you asking me on a date?” he raised a brow, amused.

I giggled.

“Isn’t this one already?” I asked.

Then I saw a sign in front of us.

“Fraygo’s Flophouse? Let’s check it out!” I took Astarion’s hand and pulled him inside.

The place was almost empty, just a few people standing in the corner of the room.

“Oh well, another bar then” I giggled and was about to pull Astarion outside before he stopped me.

“ Wait ” he ordered. 

I looked at him and followed his eyes to see a man and a woman talking.

“We should go. I don’t want to face the master if we’re late for his Black Mass” the woman said with a worried look on her face.

“Soon sister. I only need one more mark” the man said.

“We have enough for the master, no more are needed” she pleaded.

I looked at Astarion who was seemingly getting angry.

“It’s not for the master, it’s for me. I’ve spent one hundred years eating rats and dogs, but soon I’ll be able to feast!” the man closed his eyes. “I want someone there, ready for me. And once the Mass is done and our lord grants us our freedom, I want to celebrate by drinking the dry”.

Before I could do anything, Astarion marched next to the two.

“Caazador promised you your freedom? And you believed him?” he raised his brow. “You were never burdened with intelligence, Petras, but your loads seems especially light these days” he frowned.

The woman looked at her shocked.

“Astarion?! It…cannot be” the woman said. 

“That's no way to welcome back a bother, Dal. Didn’t you miss me?” he said snarky.

That woman is…Astarion’s sister?

“Why would you come back? You got out, you were free?” the woman asked.

I looked at Astarion.

“Isn’t that obvious, sister? He want to ascend with the rest of us. He heard about the ritual and the power our master will grant us, so he came back with his tail between his legs, hoping all would be forgiven” the man shook his head.

And this man is Astarion’s brother?

Astarion sighed.

“You were always an idiot, Petras” he said before grabbing the man by his neck.

The woman screamed in horror as Astarion placed Petras next to the window that was casting sunlight inside. 

In a matter of seconds his skin started to turn into ashes.

“Where is he hiding?” Astarion growled.

The man only groaned in pain.

“TELL ME” Astarion screamed.

I looked at him in shock.

“BROTHER! PLEASE!” the woman pleaded with tears in her eyes.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Astarion, stop!” I said and looked at him.

He frowned.

“Fine” he said and threw Petras across the room. “You own your life to my friend” he growled at him.

His siblings looked at him in fear.

“Now tell me what I need to know” Astarion said.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 4: Take Me Back To Eden

AO3 LINK

Aura and Astarion get help from a stranger that is up to no good

Word count: 1.7k

Janna once again beta read this <3

TRIGGERS: talk about past trauma, Raphael is an asshole, oral sex (F!receiving), mentions of sex, kissing, FLUFF, angst, drama.

----

The room was empty with only a few beds neatly made, Gale’s was amongst them. The sun was shining through the curtains casting lazy beams across the room. 

I absentmindedly gripped the silver hair that clung to my thigh, which was slick with sweat and other bodily fluids.

“Oh gods, yes …oh gods, don’t stop Astarion!” I moaned breath hitching as the rogue was taking me to my fourth orgasm that morning. His mouth worked me relentlessly, drawing me closer and closer to the edge.

He muttered something inaudible in between licking, not that I could’ve heard him over the slick sounds of his fingers gliding in and out of me and my own desperate moans. I took his hand into mine and squeezed it as I climaxed moaning loudly. Thank gods this room is far away from the main hall.

Astarion shifted to kiss my lips.

“Darling, you are lucky none of our companions dare to enter this room or the area around it during this time of the day” he purred.

I smiled in pure bliss and kissed his cheek.

“Do you want me to…do something nice to you?” I asked carefully. Everything was still a bit confusing to say the least. For a few days we had been sleeping with each other, but it was always him in control. I wanted to give Astarion time to trust me, so I didn’t push it much.

This time, like always, he just kissed me and smirked.

“I think we’ve had enough fun, though you are delicious. You need to eat, and you said last night that we need to continue our journey” he purred.

I nodded and stood up.

“Yeah. You are right” I smiled slightly. I just wished he would open himself up to me. But I couldn’t rush it. He needed time.

We walked downstairs together. Halsin greeted us and smiled at me warmly. Maybe they haven’t heard us at all.

“ Tsk’va , we’ve been waiting for you two” Lae’zel pouted, clearly irritated.

“And now we are here” Astarion chuckled. “How fitting, shall we?” he gestured at the door.

“Not yet. There is someone who wants to see you two” Shadowheart frowned.

“Us?” I glanced at Astarion.

“Yes, you two” a man said behind our companions. He was middle-aged, a human by the looks. “Shall we speak somewhere more private?”

We stood in a quiet corner of the inn.

“Let me introduce myself, my name is Raphael” the man purred, taking my hand into his and placing a soft kiss on it. “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Ashthorn” he smirked.

How the fuck does this man know my name?

“Quit it, devil. What business do you have with us?” Astarion’s eyes narrowed.

Devil? Is this man THE devil himself?

“Oh my little vampling, I am here merely to help you ” he grinned at Astarion, unbothered.

I blinked.

“How can you help Astarion?” I asked.

“I can read what story his back tells” he said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

“What do you want in return?” Astarion’s expression hardened.

Raphael’s lips turned into a wicked smile.

“Nothing big, nothing you couldn't provide me” he purred.

“State your price” Astarion said.

Raphael’s gaze fixed into me.

“One night” he said with a low, seductive tone.

“No” Astarion shook his head.

“One night… with me ?” I asked confused.

“No. She won’t do it” Astarion said.

"That’s my price" Raphael said with a shrug. "Take it or leave it”.

I straightened my posture.

"I’ll do it” I nodded.

Astarion grabbed my arm. 

"I can’t let you-" he started, but I turned to him and took his hand in mine.

"I need to, Astarion. If he knows what Cazador did to you…if he knows how to stop him…we can’t pass this up” I shook my head.

Astarion looked torn, his grip tightening.

“So? Do we have a deal?” Raphael grinned offering his hand.

“Yes” I nodded and shook it.

“Excellent. Now, shall we see that back of yours?” Raphael raised a brow at Astarion.

I could see Astarion was angry. Still he obliged and took his shirt off.

“A deal between Mephistopheles and Cazador” he smirked.

“A deal?” I asked.

“Yes. With that Cazador knows how to ascend. If he completes the ritual, he will become the most powerful vampire ever to walk on ground. A vampire ascendant will be able to be in sunlight. The price of the ritual contains a sacrifice of a multitude of souls. You, my dear vampling, are the last missing piece, your back is your destiny” he grinned.

I looked at Astarion in horror.

“That’s all I have to tell you. I’ll collect my payment later" he smirked and kissed the back of my hand once again before vanishing into thin air.

After a moment I looked at the rogue next to me.

“I can't believe you would do that for me” Astarion shook his head.

“A small price to be paid. Now we know what we needed to know” I tried to smile.

“Eventually I need to fight Cazador” Astarion sighed.

I stared him quietly.

“I will be there by your side, if you let me” I whispered after a beat.

Astarion took my hand and nodded.

“I want nothing more” he whispered.

We walked for hours after leaving the inn, the group quieter than usual, each of us lost in thought. Only the crunch of boots on earth and the whisper of the wind accompanied us.

“We should place our camp here, it’s getting dark” I told everyone. 

After a bit the camp was set and Gale was cooking for everyone with Karlach on his side telling him some kind of a story. Wyll and Halsin had gone on a walk, Lae’zel and Shadowheart were in their own tents. Astarion had gone hunting. I was sitting on a log reading a book.

“My my, you look beautiful in the dim light” a voice purred right next to my ear sending a shiver down my spine.

I turned to look at Raphael.

“Let’s get it over with” I sighed.

He tutted.

“Miss Ashthorn, you are so cold, even when your cold beloved isn't next to you” he smirked, offering his hand to me.

I sighed and took it, and in a blink of an eye we were transported to a lavish bedroom.

“Where the in the hells are we?” I asked.

“Exactly there, my darling. Now, get on the bed” he purred.

I looked at the bed and walked next to it. The duvet was dark red, made from the finest silk. I sat down on it taking a deep breath.

Raphael gave me a glass of red wine.

“Thank you” I muttered and took a sip. The rich taste flooded into my mouth. It was the best wine I had ever tried.

“Now, tell me your deepest desires, my little elf” he purred while studying me. “What do you want most in this miserable world?” he smirked.

I looked at him quietly.

“I…I want to help Astarion” I said after a beat.

Raphael’s smirk grew wider.

“Excellent. I will help you full-fill it” he purred.

I raised a brow, suspicion sneaking into my body.

“Help me? Why?” I asked.

“Let’s just say, I admire your devotion towards him” Raphael said as he swirled his wine. "But here’s the catch: you can’t tell Astarion what you learn from me” he added with a grin.

I looked at him and after a beat I nodded.

“Astarion will fight Cazador and try to become the ascendant himself” Raphael purred. “You need to help him become one” he added.

I blinked surprised.

“Why?”

“Because if he doesn’t ascend, he will always be cursed to live in the shadows. And you, my dear, will die after a few short centuries, leaving him alone” Raphael said.

I stared at him in silence.

“Do you understand?” he asked.

“I do” I whispered.

“Good. Now, I will send you back to your camp” he smirked.

“Wait what?” I asked confused. “What about the night with me?”

“Eager for it?” Raphael laughed out loud. “My little elf, I never said what would happen during it” he added, and with a snap of his fingers I was back on the log I was sitting on earlier. “Aura?!” I heard a familiar voice call from behind me.

Halsin ran towards me and hugged me.

“We were worried sick! Where have you been?” he asked.

“I was in hell with the devil” I started and stood up. “Where- where’s Astarion?!”

I entered Astarion’s tent quietly, peeking inside.

"May I come in?" I asked softly.

He sat in the darkness, his red eyes glowing faintly, watching me. I could feel the tension between us, thick and suffocating.

“He didn’t touch me, Astarion” I said.

He didn’t move.

“He fooled you, he wanted to make you jealous. Hells , he is the devil. We should’ve both known he was bluffing” I sat next to him.

For a moment we sat there quietly.

“What are we, Astarion?” I asked, my voice trembling.

Nothing.

“We aren’t dating. As far as I know, we are only sleeping with each other. I don’t know what you want, I don’t think you know what you want either” I shook my head.

Still nothing. Alright .

“Fine. I am tired of you pretending to like me, because if you did, you would be by my side, not giving…whatever this silent treatment is!” I shook my head frustrated. “You have been playing with me since the beginning” I stood up to leave.

Then cold fingers wrapped around my wrists and the darkness yanked me to sit on their lap.

Astarion’s lips kissed mine, but not in the way they used to. The kiss was soft, caring even. I melted in seconds into it as he wrapped his ams around me.

“Look, I had a plan. A nice, simple plan. Seduce you, sleep with you, manipulate your feelings so you'd never turn on me” he said. “It was easy, instinctive. Habits from two hundred years of charming people kicked in. All you had to do was fall for it. And all I had to do was not fall for you...which is where my nice, simple plan fell apart”.

I looked at the two faintly glowing eyes and I could see they weren’t completely dry.

“You…you’re incredible” he said.

I held my breath.

“You deserve something real. I want us to be something real ” he said before kissing me again.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 3: First Light

AO3 LINK

Aura faces Astarion after the night they spent together. But what happens when the whole group decides to play a game that will change everything between the two rogues.

Word count: 2.5k

Thank you Janna for once again betareading this <3

TRIGGERS: talk about past trauma, mentions of sex, kissing, FLUFF, angst, drama.

----

The sun was shining into my eyes as I opened them. I was still laying on the ground, fully naked. The wind was warm, but I could feel my skin was cold from sleeping outside. Or from sleeping next to a cold vampire. 

I glanced next to me. Where is he? I propped myself up on my elbows and saw Astarion.

He stood in front of me, several feet away, arms open baskin in the sunrise wearing only his breeches. His hair glistened in the light, making him appear as something out of this world. Angelic even. The sight of him made my heart flutter. 

“You missed the dawn, it looked incredible” he called over his shoulder, his voice clear but soft.

Of course he had heard me waking up.

“It did?” I yawned, sitting up and covering my chest with my arms. 

“It truly did” he replied. “Were you named after it?” he added after a pause, still back turned attention fixed into the light. Then I saw it. His back. It was full of marks, some kind of runes, in a circular shape. 

“Named after what?” I asked distractedly, as I tried to understand what the runes said. Are those…infernal runes?

“The dawn. Aurora means dawn, right?” he looked back at me. My eyes flew from his back to his eyes embarrassed. Shit, he knows I was staring.

“Y-yes. My parents studied dead languages. In one of them Aurora means dawn. How….how do you know that?” I asked curiously.

Astarion's lips turned up into a smug smile, as if he was smiling to himself and turned to look at the sun again.

“I used to read a lot” he replied and took a deep breath of the morning air. His posture relaxed, but I could sense the subtle tension still lingering in the air. Something was always restrained with him, like a predator waiting to strike.

I watched him for a moment before pushing myself off the ground, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. My gaze swept the clearing. The memory of discarded clothes from the night before nagged at me. Where the fuck did he toss them?

“Did you…enjoy…last night?” I asked carefully as I spotted my tunic laying on top of a bush. I walked over taking it as my mind was still spinning from the events of the night before. It had been… intense, to say the least. But now, in the light of day, there was an awkwardness between us that hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was just me. The image of him grabbing my hands and pinning them up. His restrained moans. The way he dominated me so effortlessly. I shook my head to get rid of the images. Still it had felt like he was acting in some kind of way. Like he needed to be in control of everything in order to enjoy it.

“I did” he said after a beat without turning to look at me.

“You did? It felt like you…weren’t fully…I don’t know…enjoying it?” I said while dressing up.

Astarion turned around, his face softening as he closed the distance between us.

“I was holding back a little, it’s true. Delicious as you were, I didn’t want to…lose control” he purred.

I studied him to spot anything that would come across as him lying, but I couldn't. He’s done this before. He is clearly used to it.

We stood in silence for a long moment, our eyes locked. The weight of the previous night still hung between us. I swallowed hard, then broke the tension

“What’s on your back, Astarion?” I asked quietly.

He scoffed, the sound sharp and unfit in the morning air.

“A gift from Cazador” he said with a disgusted expression.

I hesitated for a moment, but curiosity won once again.

“What does it mean? I noticed it has infernal runes in it” I continued.

It seemed to catch him off guard.

“Infernal runes?” he asked, confused.

I nodded and took a step closer.

“Do you…want me to show you?” I asked softly.

“I…it isn’t your problem, you know” he said with a strange tone. It lacked the usual cockyness he had in his voice.

I looked at him taking his hand into mine.

“I know” I smiled slightly.

He looked at me and right there, I saw something shift in him.

Quietly he turned around.

I took a deep breath, fingers trembling as I traced the unfamiliar symbols etched into his skin. He didn’t breathe. I could feel the muscles on his back tense under my soft touch. I bent down, carving them into the dirt with a shaky hand. After what felt like eternity but probably was only a few minutes I stood up.

“Does this say anything to you?” I asked quietly.

He turned to look at the ground.

“What in the hells…what did he do to me?” he muttered, more to himself than me.

“I don’t know. But what I do know is, that someone will be able to read it” I took his hand gently into mine. “I will help you, if you let me” I added.

Astarion stared at me in silence but his grip in my hand tightened and he gave me a tiny nod.

“Okay” I smiled. “We better return to the camp, others might start to worry”.

His lips curled up to a sly smile as he raised a brow.

“That I’ve once again drained you dry or that I’ve ravished you so well Gale can’t stand a chance?” he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes, but despite myself, I couldn’t help but smile back. “Both” I said, nudging him playfully as we began the walk back to camp together.

Shadowheart, Karlach, Halsin and Wyll were chatting with each other over the campfire. Lae’zel was practicing some new fighting skills in front of her tent. 

Gale sat alone on a log reading and I could see he had a disappointed look on his face as he saw me and Astarion walk together. 

“Morning” I greeted everyone, smiling slightly.

Shadowheart looked at us and scoffed.

“You finally came back. I was sure the vampire had drained you dry once again” she rolled her eyes and looked back at Wyll who was in the middle of telling something.

“He didn’t need to drain her blood, she was already weak after everything according to the sounds she made” Lae’zel scoffed from afar.

I blushed ashamed and saw Gale stand up and walk into his tent. Great, now everyone knows.

“Are you just jealous, Lae’zel?” Astarion smirked.

Lae’zel glared at him in disgust and continued her training.

Thank gods we will move our camp today.

As the sun started to set and we had been walking and battling together for hours we finally found a place to sleep in Shadowfell, the Last Light Inn. 

We walked inside and got a big room with one bed for each. Great.

I joined the others in the Inn’s taproom. Everyone already had pints of ale so I took one too. Astarion had a glass of something red, hopefully wine. 

“Now I know! Let’s play a game” Karlach raised her voice cheerfully.

“What kind of a game?” Gale asked intrigued.

I looked at Astarion who sipped his drink while watching Karlach.

“It’s a game where we ask questions from each other, and we need to speak only the truth. If you don’t want to answer, you drink!” she laughed.

Everyone nodded slowly, and some companions took a huge gulp from their pints to prepare themselves.

“Lae’zel, you’re first! Are you interested in any of our camp members in more than friendly ways?” Karlach asked.

Lae’zel rolled her eyes.

“Tsk’va, none of your business” she muttered and took a sip from her pint.

“Very well, then you ask the next person” Karlach guided.

Lae’zel scanned around the room before locking her eyes with Gale.

“Wizard, have you ever spent a night with anyone here?” the githyanki asked.

Gale shook his head and looked at me.

“I have not” he sighed.

Does Gale actually like me?

“Alright, my turn to ask. Shadowheart, what is your favorite color?”

Shadowheart raised a brow.

“I see the Wizard of Waterdeep has such great questions for us to answer. Alright then, my favorite color is red, blood red. My turn to ask and spice this game up” she looked at me. “Aura. Tell us about your first time” she added.

I looked at her.

“My first time?” I raised a brow.

“Yes. Your first time. And I really hope it wasn’t with that” she glared at Astarion who shrugged taking a sip from his glass.

I nodded.

“Alright. I was a young adult at the time. I met a man and we had a beautiful night together” I said.

Shadowheart raised her brow.

“And?” she asked.

“Only one question” Karlach laughed.

I looked at her and nodded.

“Yeah. Uh, Halsin, what is your favourite food?” I smiled at the druid.

“I like fresh berries picked early in the morning” he smiled warmly. “Lae’zel, what is your favourite item of clothing” he asked the githyanki fighter. 

She smirked.

“My underwear” Lae’zel answered. “Aura, tell us about your first time in detail” she said and took a sip from her pint.

Lae’zel, why the fuck are you doing this to me?

“I too want to know” Shadowheart added.

I looked across the room to see everyone had taken a better position and looked at me intrigued.

“Ugh. Fine” I rolled my eyes. “I still lived with my parents who were very controlling. I wasn’t allowed to go on dates, I was still studying and used all my time with books. At some point I got tired and started sneaking out. I taught myself how to pick locks, how to keep myself safe in the streets. One night I was alone at a tavern and I met a man there” I smiled.

“What was his name?” Gale asked intrigued.

“He never told me” I looked at Gale.

“What did he look like?” Wyll asked.

“That is the thing. I can't remember. It’s like he used some kind of magic to make me forget the encounter we had. It mostly worked, but I can remember he had these beautiful red eyes” I sighed. 

Lae’zel looked at Astarion and scoffed.

“She has a type I guess” she muttered.

“We talked until he led me upstairs to a private room the tavern had. There we spent the night and after that I remember him leading me out of the tavern” I said while trying to picture it. The hands touching, his guiding me down the stairs. The giggling. The kisses I felt on my neck.

“And then what?” Halsin asked.

“He…led me in front of these…gates” I tried to remember with my eyes closed.

“And…?” Gale broke the silence.

“And I woke up the next day in my own bed” I sigh.

Everyone stared at me quietly except Astarion. He stared at the ground with a strange expression, as if he wasn’t in the room at all.

“And you never saw him again?” Karlach asked quietly.

“Never” I smiled sadly. “I tried to look for him, but I couldn't find the gate I remembered seeing. Our neighbor told my mother about the nightly journeys I did and she made sure I couldn't do them again. I moved out after a year, but even after searching, this man had…vanished” I ended my story.

“I need to go outside” Astarion stood up and walked out of the room.

I stood up and looked at the others.

“He probably just got jealous he wasn't your first” Shadowheart shrugged finishing her pint. “I’m off to sleep”.

Everyone else agreed, finishing their pints and starting to get up from their seats.

I left after Astarion. Was he actually this childish? I bet he has been with tens of women and men, but I can’t even sleep with one?

“Astarion, wait!” I yelled after him and followed the silver haired elf outside.

“Leave me alone, Aura” he said while still walking.

“Astarion stop!” I ordered. “Are you actually serious? I bet you have slept with others too, why is this such a huge deal to you?!” I asked, grabbing his arm.

He turned around and grabbed my wrist.

“Because I am the only one you have slept with” he said with fire in his eyes.

I looked at him confused.

“What…what do you mean?” I breathed out.

“I mean, I am the man you met 150 years ago. I am the man who vanished from your life after spending the night with you” he let go of my wrist.

My stomach clenched as his words echoed in my mind. Him? All those years ago? My heart stuttered in my chest, a whirlwind of emotions. Confusion, anger, even a hint of longing for the memory of that distant night. All those days spent searching for him, and the nights longing for him.

I stared at Astarion in silence. 

“You…can’t be…why haven’t you told me?!” I shook my head in disbelief and looked at the ground.

“Because I didn't remember. Cazador tortured me for 200 years. I barely remember anything anymore” he said.

I covered my mouth in shock.

“Then….why did you leave me there at those gates? Why can’t I remember what happened?” I looked at him.

We stared at each other for a moment.

“Because I couldn’t take you to him” Astarion said quietly.

For the first time I saw the man in front of me. The boy that had died 200 years ago. He was there. And he was one of the people my mother had warned me about: Cazador’s pets.

“I know what you think” he frowned. “I couldn’t disobey him. My job was to lure pretty things for him to use. I have been punished enough, I know I am a monster” he turned away to leave.

After all those years he was there now. I can’t let him go. Not now. Not after everything. 

“No Astarion. You don’t know what I think” I took his hand into mine to stop him from leaving. “I think you had no choice. And the fact that you saved me from him shows me you aren’t the monster you think you are. He is. And he should burn in the fiery pits of hell” I looked at him.

He turned to look at me.

“You…you actually feel that way?” he asked quietly.

“I do. And I will do anything to help you to get your revenge. And we will start from finding out what the runes on your back say” I nodded.

Then he leaned in to kiss me. This wasn’t the clearly pretentious, calculated kiss he had performed before. This felt completely different, like he actually finally wanted to do it for him. 

I smiled eyes closed and hugged him. After a moment his arms wrapped around me and we stayed there, quietly holding each other.

Maybe this is a beginning for something real.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Previous chapter

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 2: Destroy Everything You Touch

AO3 LINK

Aura meets her pale companion in the pale moonlight (re-telling of the Tiefling party and the first romance scene)

Word count: 1.6k

Thank you Janna for beta reading <3

TRIGGERS: PinV sex, blood, kissing, vampire bites, restraining, fingering, oral sex (F!receiving), sexual tension, angst, ptsd.

----

The tiefling camp was full of happy companions chatting and drinking. The raid to goblin camp had been challenging, but now we had a new member in our tiny group, a druid named Halsin. Astarion returned early in the morning and during the day he had been normal, as if nothing had happened last night between us. I tried to push everything aside during the battle, but it was hard. 

I was sitting alone watching two Tieflings kiss happily next to Gale, who tried to ignore it and talk with Lae’zel. I could see the githyanki was unable to distract him from the two lovers. 

Great. I felt everything Gale was feeling. The weird feeling of a crush had crept into my heart. I was falling hard for the vampire rogue, who just abandoned me last night after I was an idiot and decided to scare him away.

Suddenly I felt the air get a bit colder right next to my arm. I looked at the silver haired rogue as he handed me his bottle of wine.

“It’s quite boring in here. I see you have been trying to look at Gale who is trying to look at Lae’zel so you wouldn't notice the two tieflings getting ready to make more tiny tieflings” he chuckled. 

I took a huge gulp from the wine bottle. I am not enough drunk for this. 

“So what have you been doing then?” I stared at Lae’zel who had noticed the couple now too and looked disgusted.

“I’ve been looking for a little more excitement. A little more fun.” I didn’t even have to see his face to know he had that stupid grin on his face.

“And what's your idea of a ‘little fun’ if I may ask” I took another gulp from the wine bottle.

“By the hells. Sex, my dear. A night of passion” and the wine went straight to the wrong pipe. I coughed hard and looked at him shocked.

“With who?!” I asked maybe a bit too quickly. 

He looked at me and laughed out loud. Prick.

“I thought you were already waiting for it?” he flashed a smile enough to kill.

I looked at him in silence. Was he kidding?

“I just���thought….” I started to mutter but he was quicker.

“Once everyone else is asleep, I’ll be waiting at the clearance in the woods” he smirked and took the wine bottle from my hand and gestured at the tiefling couple that had gone from kissing to actually something I wouldn't do in front of anyone. “Enjoy the show”.

What the fuck am I doing. I looked at the clearance in front of me. I am insane.

Suddenly a pale creature appeared through the bushes. He isn’t wearing a shirt. I could feel something stir inside me.

“There you are. I’ve been waiting. Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you” he purred. 

I suddenly felt how dry my mouth went. It had been hanging open. I closed it and wished he didn't notice it but he was already walking closer with that stupid grin so slowly, almost like a predator to it’s pray.

“You don’t have me yet” I said as bravely as I could. I am still winning here.

“Don’t I? You’re here. And I don’t think you want to talk. I think you want to be known. To be tasted”.

If I wasn’t soaking wet before, that finished the job. No NO this man just abandoned me yesterday after things got somewhere. 

“And what do you want?” I said, raising a brow.

For a moment the vampire in front of me looked like I had spoken in some foreign language thinking he would understand it. Then the smirk came back in.

“What do any of us want?” he tilted his head to the side.

I shrugged.

“Pleasure” he straightened his posture.

Shivers ran down my spine.

“Yours. Mine. Our collective ecstasy” he closed the distance between us. 

As his arms wrapped around my waist and lower back, all I could do was bite my lip and look into his eyes. It was almost like he had put a spell on me. I was utterly helpless in his arms.

“That’s what you want, isn’t it? To lose yourself in me” he purred into my ear.

A soft moan escaped my lips. He was too good.

“Y-yes” I gasped before his lips devoured mine. And there we were again. Lips moving bruisingly hard as he started to remove my tunic. 

I felt the chilling breeze brush over my nipples as the night air met my skin. Astarion had a satisfied smile on as he lifted me up and pushed onto a tree. “May I?” he whispered into my neck.

“Yes” I answered.

He bit down onto my neck and took a long gulp. I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning loudly. Our camp wasn’t far away, and I was sure if I made enough noise I would hear about it tomorrow during breakfast.

He moved from drinking my blood down to kissing my collarbone. I closed my eyes and smiled. 

Then I felt a sting in my nipple. I looked down and saw Astarion grinning and licking the tiny drop of blood he had drawn from me. Asshole. I couldn’t help but grin back. 

Then he laid me down on the meadow. The cold ground welcomed the bare skin of my back. Astarion started to remove my leggings. I looked at his hands and took a deep breath.

“What is it?” he stopped and looked at me.

“It’s just…I haven’t…” I sat up but he was once again a step ahead.

“You haven’t had sex before?” he asked, a bit shocked.

“NO! No, I mean, I HAVE had sex before. It just…it was over 150 years ago. And…only once” I shrugged.

I could swear Astarion hesitated for a tiny moment but he moved up and smiled, kissing my lips softly.

“Then relax and enjoy” he said quietly.

I blinked a few times. Was this really happening? I nodded and laid back down.

He removed the rest of my clothes and smiled. 

“You are beautiful” he purred. 

I blushed and looked away. 

“Tut tut, eyes on me, darling” he tutted. 

I looked at him mouth wide open. He is too good.

He returned to kiss my lips. I could feel my muscles relax under him. He started to slowly kiss down my body until he reached the end of his destination. He lapped his tongue across my folds and all I could do was tilt my head back and moan.

After 150 years I sure didn’t remember it felt like this. I bucked my hips to meet his agonizingly slow tongue. Then he started to suck the little nub of nerves, which made my eyes roll into the back of my head.

“Gods, Astarion” I gasped as my hand flew to grip his hair.

“You are doing so well” he purred in between sucking.

I felt his fingers starting to outline my folds before he pushed two of them inside. I bit my lip as hard as I could. His tongue sucked and lapped faster than I thought anyone could while he pumped his fingers curling them deliciously into just the right spot. I was not going to last long.

“Hells below” I moaned. I glared at the white haired elf in between my legs looking at me with his lustful eyes that shined like two giant red rubies. 

A déjà vu.

Then my climax hit me like never before. I moaned loud enough to the whole forest to hear, legs shaking. Astarion slowed down his movements and lapped the hot gush of fluids that dripped down my thigh.

“Delicious” he whispered as he stood up to remove his breeches. I propped myself up on my elbows and tried my best to steady my breathing. He was gorgeous. His pale skin glistened in the moonlight as he slowly stroked himself.

I smiled panting. Astarion returned the warmth of my skin and kissed me while he pushed himself inside me inch by inch. I groaned, biting my lip. After a moment he was fully inside and started slowly thrusting into me. Soon the chilling night air was filled with silent moans and slick skin slapping into each other. 

I moved my hand to touch his chest. It was supposed to be cold, but the warmth of my own chest had radiated its heat onto his. I dragged my fingers across his chest back to his shoulders and from there to his back where his smooth silken skin turned into bumps and ridges. I had forgotten it. 

Astarions hands flew to grab mine and ping them above my head as he fucked me harder.

“I told you I wanted you to enjoy this” he purred into my ear and nipped the lobe.

I gasped and tried to stay in my senses.

“I thought I’d-” I started to say in between gasps before Astarion devoured my lips and sped up his pace.

“Shh, quiet, or I won’t let you finish you cheeky little-” he purred before slamming even harder into me.

I moaned loudly as I felt my body starting to give up under him.

“Bite me” I tilted my head back whispering. I could feel his lips twist into a smile when he moved them on my neck bit down drinking eagerly. 

It didn’t need more than two deliciously perfect pushes until we both tumbled into a shared climax. After a few moments of panting Astarion let go of my hands and laid down on his back next to me.

I looked at him and opened my mouth to say something but closed it. Don’t ruin this.

Instead I turned and wrapped my arm around him burying my face into his side. I could feel him tensing his muscles, but after a few minutes I felt his arm wrap around me and him relaxing. I fell asleep listening to my own heart beat, because his wasn’t beating.

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Astarion x F!OC

Dawn of Love

Chapter 1: Farewell Wanderlust

AO3 LINK

Aura gets to know her new companion better

Word count: 1.9k

Thank you Janna for beta reading <3

TRIGGERS: Dry humping, blood, kissing, vampire bites, sexual tension, mentions of past trauma, angst, ptsd.

----

I sat on a log watching the others from a small distance. The wizard of Waterdeep was explaining something to the tiny group around him. Only one was missing. 

The Pale Elf.

I felt a wind brush against my back and suddenly a man with white hair sat next to me.

“You look like you need a drink” I heard him purr, maybe a bit too close to me.

“A drink?” I raised my brow and looked at him. His eyes met mine quickly and he gave me a smug smile. What a prick.

“Indeed. Here, darling” he handed me a bottle of red wine. I shrugged my shoulders and took a sip. 

“I thought your…kind…didn’t drink anything else than…” I struggled to find the correct words.

“Blood?” he asked and took the bottle from me taking a long sip.

“Y-yes” I nod and look at the group again. It had been a few days since Astarion had woken me up with him hovering on top of me, teeth bared. We had made an arrangement. I would let him drink from me and he’d be a strong help in fights. Gods. The way he had looked that night. Pleading. Starved. Needy. And when I finally gave him the permission to drink from my neck, he forgot all the delicacy he normally portrayed. I could still feel the tiny tingling on the place he had his fangs in. The way my body responded to it. The way a single tear ran down my cheek from the pain. I could still hear the way he gasped for air in between the suckling and the soft moan that escaped from my lips that I had forgotten to swallow down. 

There was nothing between us. And there wouldn’t be. 

“Well, to be honest, it tastes like shit. But I can’t drink blood from a wine bottle, so this will do” he flashed a fangy smile at me.

I get it. I didn’t know much about him, but yesterday morning he had mentioned to me that he had a past with a vampire lord called Cazador Szarr. I had only heard a few tales of him. Gossips about him having seducers to lure pretty girls to be his dinner. My mother had always told me to be careful walking outside alone at night. “Aurora, you could get taken by the night! You can’t sneak out like that!” she had said.

���Speaking of blood…do you need it tonight?” I asked carefully. He looked at the group, then back at me and smiled the same mischievous, fangy smile. “Darling, I thought you’d never ask”.

Everyone was fast asleep. Only light was the slowly dying fire in the middle of the camp. Astarion had gone hunting. I was already in my bedroll. It had been quite a while since he left. Maybe he didn’t want to come after all? Maybe he found a big prey somewhere and doesn't need my blood tonight…

But suddenly the scent of bergamot and brandy filled my senses. He came. I sat up to meet a pair of glowing red eyes. 

“Good, you're awake” he purred quietly.

I couldn't help but feel heat rise up my cheeks. Was I blushing? 

“Did you have a good hunt?” I asked, trying not to pay attention to my face that probably matched his eyes. 

“I’ve had better. But that doesn’t matter, not now. What matters, is that I am here and would like to take a bite of that lovely neck of yours” he smirked. 

I nodded and started to open my blouse so he could access my neck easier. He watched me quietly and slowly moved closer.

“Do you want to lay down?” he asked. 

“If it’s okay to you, last time I did feel a bit dizzy afterwards” I answered quietly. He smiled and gestured to me to lay down.

I laid down on my back, placing a pillow under my head for support. Astarion moved swiftly on top of me, placed his mouth next to my jugular and breathed in. 

“Delicious” he muttered. I had to bite my lip hard to keep me from gasping out loud.

Calm down. You are nothing more than his dinner and he is nothing more than just a traveling companion.

“Are you ready?” he whispered. I nodded, closing my eyes.

As soon as his teeth penetrated my soft skin the pain and fear flooded my body. But as those sensations came in, they were replaced with something else. Ecstasy. I tried my best to stiffen the moans that wanted to get out of my body. 

He started gulping down my blood eagerly. I felt the tiny tingling in my limbs again. He knows when to stop. Suddenly I felt the heat from my cheeks flush down, down in between my legs. Hells. Now is NOT the time for that. 

My hand flew to grip his hand. I need something to ground me. He answered with his drinking slowing down. Was he…taking his time?

Suddenly my clothed core was met with his in one, delicate brush. I could feel my pupils dilating as I moaned out loud. My hand flew to cover my mouth. Maybe he didn’t notice. But I was proven wrong as soon as it happened again. He pushed himself in between my legs while slowly drinking me down and matching the pace with his body. The friction was too good. I started to feel incredibly dizzy. Was it because of him feasting from my neck or the fact that we were basically dry-humping each other.

Then my vision darkened. 

“Ast…arion…” I muttered before falling into the sweet darkness.

“Are you a fucking idiot??” I heard a woman say. “You could've killed her?? When the fuck did you two start this? I thought your hunting was enough?”.

I opened my eyes to see our black haired cleric shaking her head. I coughed and tried to sit up.

“Be careful!” a second voice said and helped me up. I looked at who I thought to be Astarion to see Gale.

“Gale, she is obviously fine, stop fussing over her” I heard the vampire say. He walked next to me from behind Gale and smiled. “Rise and shine, darling!” Astarion giggled.

I gave him a shy smile. “Did I sleep long?” I asked and stretched out.

“Well if we can call that sleep. You lost way too much blood. I had to give you mine AND Gale’s healing potions…” Shadowheart rolled her eyes. 

Gale looked at me a bit worried. I smile warmly at every person in the room. “I am okay, I wanted Astarion to be in the best condition possible since we will raid the goblin camp soon, so I gave him the permission to drink as much as he could” I lied with a convincing smile. Astarion looked at me, and I could swear his shoulders relaxed a tiny bit.

“You little minx, you lie like you're telling the truth” he tutted later while we washed clothes in the lake nearby. I smirked.

“Well, I had a very strict mother growing up. I wasn’t allowed to go outside late at night, not meet boys-” I started.

“-So anything normal and fun for a young elf was prohibited?” he laughed out loud. I shook my head and laughed.

“She was…alot” I smiled.

For a moment we just stared at each other. Then I remembered what happened last night and cleared my throat:

“I am sorry for what happened last night. I got…carried away. It won’t happen again” I looked away blushing.

He laughed loudly and shook his head.

“Oh darling, no need to apologize. The pleasure is all mine” he smirked.

I looked back at him trying to cipher his face. It looked genuine, but there was something behind it. 

“Alright” I nodded and tried to get a very stubborn stain out of my favorite shirt. Astarion looked at my hands and reached out for his bag. 

“Here, I made it myself, pour it on the stain” he smiled. I looked at a bottle of a clear liquid in his hand and took it. “What is it?” I asked opening it. It smelled like peppermint.

“Stain remover, I use it to get blood out of clothes. Can’t ruin my favorite shirts every mealtime” he shrugged smiling. I smiled back and poured a tiny amount of the liquid on the stain. After rubbing it for a few moments, the stain started to disappear until it was gone completely.

“Thank you” I smiled, giving the bottle back to him. Our hands brushed on each other just for a moment, and we looked at each other. His touch was cold, reminding me that this man was not alive. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. His bright ruby eyes wandered from my eyes to my lips and down to my neck. 

“Are you…hungry?” I muttered. He didn’t lift his eyes to meet mine, but he nodded slowly.

“Do you…want to come here?” I asked quietly. He looked at me as he moved closer. My heart pounded harder and quicker than ever before. His hands wrapped around me too slowly as I leaned in to kiss him. His lips were cold at first, but warmed up after a few kisses. 

Slow. Delicate. My hands moved up to caress the back of his head as he caressed my lower back. His lips moved from my lips to kiss my jaw. Gods. As his lips wandered down to my neck I held my breath waiting for the stinging pain to come. But it didn’t. Instead he kept kissing the spot he had been feeding from earlier. I moaned softly as my head tilted back to give him more space. The kisses became more bruising, more frantic and my core got wetter and wetter. 

Then he bit down on my neck harder than ever before. I cried out gripping his hair, but not in pain. In lust. He gulped my blood down a few times until he let go of my neck and inhaled eyes closed. I looked at him. He looked like the most beautiful creature in the whole world. And there he was. In my arms, getting lost in me. I closed my eyes and kissed him. The metallic red sticky substance filled my senses as we devoured each other. He gripped my waist hard enough to leave marks and I gripped his hair even harder. I started to glide my hands down his neck. I need to feel his skin on mine. When my hands met his shoulder blades, I felt the smooth skin turn different under the sheer tunic. As if the skin was…scarred.

Then suddenly Astarion winced, pulling him away from me. His eyes opened and stared deep into mine. I was too afraid to move as if it would make him disappear. As if it would scare him, making him run away like a wild deer into the night. What the fuck have I done.

Then he suddenly stood up and cleared out his throat. “You need to go to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow” he said with a strange, cold tone. I looked at him quietly. 

“Yes. You are right” I shook my head, looked down and started to gather my belongings from the ground quietly. 

“I…Did I do something wro-” I started to say as I lifted my face from the ground to see Astarion gone. He had left already.

I was back in my bedroll looking at the sky in silence. It had been at least two hours since he disappeared and he had not come back to the camp. Everyone else was already asleep. All I could think was the way Astarion had looked at me.

What did Cazador do to him?

----

Thank you for reading my first chapter to this fic <3 I hope you enjoyed it, I promise this will be a wild ride!

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Hannibal x F!OC

His Amuse-Bouche

Chapter 9: Exit Music (For A Film)

AO3 LINK

Beth meets her destiny

Word Count: 1.3k

NO BETA READER IN THIS PART BC I AM A DUMB BITCH BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO BETA MYSELF

TW: THIS IS A HORROR FANFIC. MAJOR DEAD DOVE. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS ARE LISTED IN EACH CHAPTER, BUT THEY CAN SPOIL THE STORY, SO IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THE HORROR AS BEST AS YOU CAN, GO STRAIGHT TO THE STORY. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS: Mental health issues (depression, ptsd, anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks and dissociating), distressing impulsive thoughts, sexual tension, horror, gore, cannibalism, bad parenting, rough language, violence, drugs, spiked drinks, alcohol, poison.

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“The sun is shining as the cold water hits my tiny feet. I turn back to look at the giggling couple behind me. The woman is sharing her ice cream with the man. They kiss. I cover my eyes and scream. “MOOOOOMMMM!! DAAAAD!!! STOP!!!!!” I run at them and jump into the open arms waiting for me”

I was cooking in the kitchen while listening to music. I heard the door open and close. Show time. I was cutting the vegetables as I felt his hands wrap around me from behind. I felt him inhale my scent. “Bach’s Prelude in C Minor?” he muttered. I tried to keep myself from smirking. “What about it?” I asked nonchalantly. I felt his grip tighten just a tiny bit before he moved his hands to caress my neck and waist. He knows I am up to something. “What are you cooking?” he purred into my ear. He knows but he just wants me to say it out loud. “Rabbit stew” I said. I tossed spices, clove, garlic and chili into the stew. He inhaled sharply and tutted his tongue. Keep yourself calm. “So many spices? Haven’t I taught you better, my darling sous chef?” he challenged. I bit my lip. “I think I am catching a flu so I wanted to make it spicier” I shrugged and turned around to face him. “Want to taste? I promise it’s delicious” I batted my eyes and handed him a spoon. He smiled and took the spoon, dipped it into the pot and tasted it while keeping an eye contact with me. “It sure is” he purred. I gave him a quick peck on the lips which he didn’t answer. Breathe.

“So that is your happiest memory?” Dr. Lecter asks me. I smile sadly and nod. “Yes. That is the only time I remember seeing them together. Happy. That is the only time I remember seeing my father sober” I say and sigh. 

Hannibal went to make the table. My heart was racing. I took the zip lock bag from the drawer where I hid it earlier. Zinc Phosphide. Rat poison. I had ground it into a fine powder. This has to work. I tossed a great amount of it on his plate and topped it with the stew mixing it in. It looks normal. It smells normal. I took a deep breath and walked into the dining room pushing the serving trolley, which helped me to keep my balance with the new legs.

There he was. Waiting for me. He had made the table almost as beautiful as the first time we had dinner. I gave him his plate and walked to sit on my seat, setting my plate down from the trolley. He had put music on this time. Chopin's Nocturne in C-sharp minor. He had told me it was a song that reminded him of a prey that is too weak to run away. A prey that is almost too pitiful to eat. A wounded, weak rabbit. Zuiki. “I am no classical music enthusiast, but isn’t Chopin a bit too melancholic for a beautiful romantic dinner like this together, my love? ” I asked, trying not to sound too cold. He smiled back without answering me. He wants to play, huh? Alright. I’ll play along. 

“You loved him?” he asks. I raise a brow. “Of course I did? He was my father?” I say a bit confused. He leans back. “That isn’t something that defines love” he comments. I look down, think for a moment and look back at him. “Then what does?”

I took a sip from my glass and tasted the food. It definitely tasted spicy. I looked at him as he just sat there, fingers interlocked in front of him and staring right at me. He knows. I took a deep breath. “Was it all the spices?” I sighed. He smiled. “No, Beth. It was the fact that you wanted to get caught” he took another sip from his glass. Run. I bolted up and sprinted towards the front door as fast as possible, until after a few steps my whole body felt numb and I dizzily stumbled down hitting the floor. That fucker drugged the wine and I was too stupid to notice.

“Love, Beth, is a primal force. It’s not merely an emotion but a state of exquisite vulnerability. It’s the intertwining of desire and destruction, of consuming and being consumed. To love someone is to see them fully. Flaws, fears, and all. To choose, willingly, to indulge in their essence, to relish in their complexities. It’s an art, a delicate dance between affection and obsession, tenderness and possession. Love is the symphony that orchestrates our deepest desires and our darkest impulses” Hannibal says. I look at him quietly. “Have you ever loved anyone, Dr. Lecter?” I ask. He looks at me in silence. I look down feeling anxiety curl up to a big clump inside me. “I am so so sorry, that was stupid of me to ask” I shake my head. For a moment he looks like he is about to answer something, but he just shakes his head. “No need to apologize”

I woke up slowly. I looked around me to see this wasn’t the room he used to do his so called “work”. This was the dining room. I was back in my own chair, binded, of course. He was sitting across the table in his own seat. I started to chuckle quietly. “I should’ve known. I should’ve known you would do this eventually. You destroy everyone around you. Don't you, Dr. Lecter?” I shook my head and looked at him. He didn’t answer, so I continued. “You left the patient records there on purpose, didn’t you?” I teared up in anger and gripped the bindings. Still no answer. “DIDN’T YOU?? ANSWER ME!!” I screamed. He sighed. “I wanted you to know the truth, but I wasn’t sure how you would react. Now I know, and I can’t say I am not disappointed. I didn’t think you’d fail so badly at killing me” he tutted. I stared at him in silence. I was weak. I couldn’t do it. He got up and walked to me. “I really wanted a future for us” he said with a sad look upon his face. I scoffed, looking at the table. “Maybe, but you always knew it would end this way” I looked at him. He nodded in silence. “I loved you, Bethany” he said. I looked back at him, giving him a sad smile. “I loved you too, Hannibal” I answered. “It’s quite funny. I thought you could save me, but you ended up killing me in the process” I said, tearing up a bit. “In fact, I thought I could change you by changing myself” I started to cry. He kissed my tear soaked lips softly and inhaled my scent one last time. “I cannot be saved” he whispered.

I was now back in his basement . Here he cut me for the first time. Here he told me he cured me. Now I knew it was all a lie. I wanted to hurt him back. I wanted to hurt him the way he hurt me. To see his blood pool in my skin the way Valentin’s blood did. But I should’ve known the prey can never outsmart the predator. The prey can never become anything else. A Rabbit could only run, even after the predator had cut its legs.

I felt the needle puncture my skin and after a few seconds the sedative started to calm my nerve system down. I can’t wait to see my mother. Before I fell asleep, Hannibal leaned over me to whisper: “I promise you will be the finest amuse-bouche, Bethany”.

----

This was the final chapter of His Amuse-Bouche. Thank you SO MUCH for reading my fic <3 I am starting to write the next one, but it won't be Hannibal fic! I still hope you will stick around and see what I do next <3

If you want me to write a oneshot of Hannibal, I have my question box open for ideas and requests!!!!

Thank you for being on this jorney w me <3

Kisses, Pearl <3

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Hannibal x F!OC

His Amuse-Bouche

Chapter 8: I Spit On Your Grave

AO3 LINK

Bethany makes a shocking discovery

Word Count: 1.2k

NO BETA READER IN THIS PART BC I AM A DUMB BITCH BUT I TRIED MY BEST TO BETA MYSELF

TW: THIS IS A HORROR FANFIC. MAJOR DEAD DOVE. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS ARE LISTED IN EACH CHAPTER, BUT THEY CAN SPOIL THE STORY, SO IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THE HORROR AS BEST AS YOU CAN, GO STRAIGHT TO THE STORY.

SPESIFIC TRIGGERS: Mental health issues (depression, ptsd, anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks and dissociating), unethical relationships, distressing impulsive thoughts, sexual tension, sexual themes, sex, vague talk about bodyfluids, horror, gore, cannibalism, vore, death, rough language, violence, forced surgeries, forced amputation, alcohol, needles, forced injections, light emetophobia,

----

“And then you add the wine” he smiled as he guided me with the cooking. He stood behind me holding me close while I prepared our dinner: “Joues de Boeuf Braisées au Vin Rouge” which meant braised cheek in red wine, in this case, a full-bodied Cabernet Sauvignon. “Can you cut the vegetables?” I asked the man behind me. He kissed my cheek and inhaled my scent slowly. “Ordering me around my own kitchen now, are we?” he purred into my ear. I bit my lip, closing my eyes and tilted my head back. “Yes, and now you are disturbing me, which can lead to the food burning” I smiled, eyes still closed. He kissed my neck softly and I could swear I felt his lips curl upwards into a grin. “We can’t have that, my dear sous chef. If you burn the food, I might have to punish you” he muttered and nipped my ear. I gasped loudly as my hand flew to grip his hair behind me. “Dr. Lecter, I am too delicate for such words” I smirked, opening my eyes and looking at the stove in front of me. “You know I don’t want to burn these cheeks. They came from a very important cheeky little swine and I would hate if their sacrifice would go to waste” I grin. Hannibal chuckled quietly and nodded. “As you wish, chef. I will cut the vegetables”

Dinner was hectic. We ate quickly and ended up in the bedroom even quicker. After a few minutes of stumbling onto the bed while taking off our clothes I has laying fully naked under his lips. “Desert is served” he muttered and kissed my earlobe. I bit my lip and moaned loudly. “W-what are we having, my love?” I smirked. His lips started wandering down my body stopping to lick my nipple. “Tonight we are having a delicate tiramisu, each layer a revelation of sweetness and texture, leaving a lingering richness on the palate that invites further exploration of every element” he smirked and nipped the nipple before going further down to kiss my stomach. I opened my mouth gasping for air. “Dr. Lecter, I didn’t know you could talk like that” I grinned back. 

He lowered down my body once again and answered with a soft kiss right over the sensitive bud of nerves between my legs. I threw my head back. Fuck. He was just so good at it. Each swirl of his tongue, each push of his fingers, each move took me closer and closer becoming undone. I gripped his hair as he licked, sucked and fucked me. My heart started to beat louder as I felt the burning become sweeter. Silent gasping and whimpering evolved into desperate cries. “Please, please, please, oh gods ” I cried out. He smiled into my soft flesh. “I got you, Bethany” he whispered. With a loud moan I climaxed gripping his already sweaty hair. I felt the gush of fluids coat his face as he calmed his moves down. 

This was followed with sensational lovemaking, me coming a few more times and his desperate and needy thrusting ending in a beautiful mutual orgasm that left us both too tired to move from the sweaty pool we had made the bed. Hannibal held me close as I kissed his chest, eyes closed almost asleep already. “I have an appointment tomorrow and I need to leave early in the morning. I will be gone until dinner time” he muttered. I smiled and lifted my head from his chest to look at him. “I will cook dinner then” I muttered and gave him a slow kiss. After a short make-out we both fell asleep listening to each other's heartbeats.

I woke up slowly. I looked at the clock groaning. Hannibal had left for an appointment with a patient an hour ago. I ate breakfast in silence, which worked for me. I wasn't a morning person and wanted to just get over with the routine. I was getting used to my new legs and walked stiffly around the house with a cane. I went inside his study, as it was my favorite place in his house. It was peacefully furnished full of dark colored velvet and ebony. I sat behind his desk. Patient records. Neatly laid down full on display. Is mine here too? I carefully started to go through the pile. Bethany Rivers. Bingo . I opened the file. Shit. Did I really talk about these things like that? I don’t remember I was in this bad condition… I read through the file re-living the moments I had talked about. Okay enough. Back to the pile you go, I am no longer this person. I looked back at the pile and stopped everything.

Ethan Rivers . The file said “Ethan Rivers” in big letters. With shaky hands I took the file and opened it. And there he was. Looking right back at me. My father. It had been so long since I saw his face. Why the FUCK does Hannibal have a file of him here? I opened the first page. 

“Ethan Rivers, a 45-year-old male. Patient presents with a pronounced and chronic pattern of behaviors consistent with psychopathy. His psychological profile is characterized by the following: lack of empathy and remorse, manipulative and deceptive behavior, grandiose sense of self-worth, impulsivity and irresponsibility, persistent antisocial behavior. Conclusion : patient embodies the quintessential traits of a psychopath. His lack of empathy, manipulative tendencies, and persistent antisocial behavior make him a dangerous individual. His interactions are marked by superficial charm, but underneath lies a predatory nature that seeks to exploit and dominate. Constant vigilance and appropriate interventions are recommended to mitigate the risks he poses to society.”

I looked at the diagnosis in shock. Why didn’t Hannibal tell me he treated my father? I continued his patient diary. It was full of my father talking about himself. Obviously. That fucker never asked how I was. It was always about his cars, his friends, his life. 

Then suddenly my mouth hangs open. “ The patient has responded positively to neurotoxin treatment, with pronounced hallucinations. He believes that killing his ex-wife and her husband is necessary to alleviate his suffering. After carefully assessing Ethan's responses to our sessions, it's evident that my influence has successfully redirected his motivations. He now exhibits a compelling drive towards achieving goals that align more closely with my own interests. This transformation underscores the efficacy of our therapeutic approach and reinforces the depth of trust Ethan has placed in me."

He manipulated my father into killing my mother and stepdad. I flip the pages to see the last one:

"Having successfully integrated Ethan into our therapeutic journey, I now have the opportunity to extend my influence to Bethany, his daughter. With Ethan and others no longer in her life, Bethany's vulnerability becomes a canvas for my endeavors. She has ignited a fascination within me. I have already talked about her psychiatrist, Dr. Mixer. If all goes well, Bethany will be my patient at the end of this month."

The text was written the day it all happened. I had been in therapy with Dr. Mixter for my anxiety. Later that night I would be utterly alone after my father kills my parents, and later that month Hannibal would become my psychiatrist. He did all this to get me to be his patient. He manipulated me into thinking I was cured. I looked at my legs and felt rage starting to storm inside me. This was not “a cure”. He ruined my life. He ended my life.

And I would end his.

----

NOTE:

I myself am not a professional and tried to get facts checked as best I could. My own father has ASPD so I see him alot in Beth's father but wanted to make it obvious Hannibal made Ethan worse and manipulated him. REMEMBER THAT PEOPLE WITH ASPD/OTHER SIMILAR DISORDERS ARE NORMAL AND NOT AUTOMATICALLY MURDERERS!!! THIS IS A HORROR FIC SO IT IS DRAMATICAL!!!!

I don't want to spread false knowlege so this is just the "hollywood horror" -style diagnosis shit.

----

Next chapter

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog 🩸

Hannibal x F!OC

His Amuse-Bouche

Chapter 7: Who Is She?

AO3 LINK

Hannibal has a gift for Beth that will change everything

Word Count: 1.3k

Thank you once again my love Kris for beta reading <3

TW: THIS IS A HORROR FANFIC. MAJOR DEAD DOVE. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS ARE LISTED IN EACH CHAPTER, BUT THEY CAN SPOIL THE STORY, SO IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THE HORROR AS BEST AS YOU CAN, GO STRAIGHT TO THE STORY.

SPESIFIC TRIGGERS: Mental health issues (depression, ptsd, anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks and dissociating), unethical relationships, distressing impulsive thoughts, sexual tension, sexual themes, sex, vague talk about bodyfluids, horror, gore, cannibalism, vore, death, rough language, violence, forced surgeries, forced amputation, alcohol, needles, forced injections, light emetophobia, talk about rape, talk about SA, talk about SA of a minor (not in detail), talk about abuse

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“I am afraid my father will hurt me the next time I go there. That is why I decided to cut all contact” I sob into a tissue. Doctor Mixter nods and sighs. “Maybe that is for the best. If I may say, his behavior has been  alarming for a while” she agrees. I shake my head. “I just don’t understand. How can someone say they love you and then still hurt you like that?” I ask.

We laid in bed still holding each other. I kissed his swollen lips with mine tasting the sweat and other body fluids. He groaned, eyes closed and smiled. I sat up and looked at the room. My new bookshelf stood in the corner of the room filled with books Hannibal had bought me. Our clothes laid on the floor tossed around. I smiled as I felt his hands slowly wrap around me and pull me back to his embrace. I answered his kisses on my neck with giggling and closed my eyes. “I would like to go outside” I said. “You can go outside whenever you want” he murmured, kissing my earlobe. “No, Hannibal. I want to go outside. It’s been almost two months. I miss…going to the store. Going to the library, seeing other people…” I look at him. He sighs. The corners of my lips curved upwards into a slight smirk and I kissed his neck. “Wouldn’t it be fun to go outside together and maybe…find someone” I whispered into his ear. He pulled away slightly and looked at me. “For what purpose, exactly?” he asked intrigued. “To play with” I smiled a devilish smile.

Dr. Lecter raises a brow. “I don’t think your father is the only reason you have this fear of men, Beth” he says calmly. I look at him taking a deep breath. “I was assaulted by my cousin when I was twelve” I say and as always, burst into tears. “I still feel ashamed. The feeling never left me” I add sobbing.

We sat together in a restaurant. Hannibal had made sure it was accessible for me and the chair. People were staring at us, but I was having too much fun to notice it. He poured more wine into our glasses as we dined in the candle light. Hannibal wore a dark gray suit that complimented my lavender silk dress. I scanned the room looking at different individuals. “Is my darling zuiki feeling restless?” he purred. I looked at him grinning and shrugged my shoulders. “You know-” I leaned closer to him “-my life was miserable before…this. Now I feel…free. Like I can finally just live my life without constantly feeling shame…and guilt” I smiled. Hannibal’s smile widened as he took my hands into his. “I have a gift for you” he said while softly fondling my hands. “A gift?” I asked surprised. He nodded and leaned to whisper into my ear “It’s waiting for us at home”.

I look at the ceiling. For the first time ever I feel like I am asleep in my own body. I am not here. This did not happen to me. Valentin is already asleep. I sit up and look at my legs. There is a tiny bit of blood on the bed under me. Is that something that happens to everyone? I get off the bed and walk into my grandma’s room.

A giant gift box waited for me in his living room. I pushed my wheelchair slowly closer and took the box in my lap. I looked back at Hannibal smiling and started to open it. 

“I can’t sleep. I miss home” I whisper to her. She groans. “Bethany, I have work in a few hours. Go to bed, you will fall asleep soon” she whispers clearly annoyed. I nod and sneak back into the guest bedroom. I try not to wake the boy sleeping in the bed next to me as I get under the covers. After a few minutes of silence he turns around and looks at me. “You didn’t tell her, right?” he asks. I shake my head. “Good. If you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill you”.

A pair of beautiful prosthetic legs. I look at Hannibal, shocked, tearing up. He smiles and takes them out of the box and crouches down. “Your wounds have healed remarkably. Now you can start using these. It will be hard at first, but you will learn” he smiled. I smiled as he helped me to put the legs on. He took my hands into his and slowly I stood up. It was definitely harder than I thought, and he had to help me with every move. He gave me a pair of crutches and I was able to take a few steps with them. “I think you are finally ready for the gift” he smiled. I looked at him confused. “Wait? This wasn’t the gift?” I asked. He grinned and shook his head. “No, Beth. This was just something you need for it. Your gift is waiting for you in the basement”

Hannibal opened the basement door. I looked at him in anticipation as he led us slowly down the stairs into the darkness. When the lights came on I saw it. It was a person tied down to a chair. They had a cover over their head, but from their figure I could tell it was a man. I looked at Hannibal raising my brow. “Hello? I can fucking hear you! Where the FUCK am I?!” the man in the chair shouted. I looked at Hannibal shocked. Even after all these years I could recognize that voice. “Valentin?” I asked in horror and took the cover off the man’s face. Valentin looked back at me, eyes big as plates. “Bethany? What the FUCK is going on?!” he asked, almost angry. I looked at Hannibal. “This is my gift for you. I have arranged everything. He will not be found, he will not be missed. Valentin Grayson. He works as a truck driver. He had a wife and a daughter until he beat them both up enough and they left. He was almost sentenced after he raped a 13-year-old girl five years ago, but he was freed because of a technicality. This man is not a good person and he doesn’t deserve to live” Hannibal said while handing me a clean knife. I looked at the knife and took it slowly.

“Bethany…please…don’t do it. I was a child too, I didn’t know I was hurting you” the man pleads in front of me. I look at him tearing up, but not from sadness. These tears were pure anger. “You were a child then, but what about your wife? What about your child?! What about the child you hurt?? Don’t you understand, Valentin? You have always been pathetic and disgusting. You can’t help yourself!” I started to grip the knife in my hand. “I…I am afraid” he gasped out and looked at me with real fear in his eyes. I looked down. “So were we when you did all those things” I sigh.

“I want Valentin to apologize. He never brought up what happened between us. It’s like he simply forgot what he did” I cry and grip the big armchair under me.

Valentin gasped as the cold steel of my knife pierced his flesh. His eyes widened in shock and agony, the metallic tang of blood filling the room. He tried to scream, but only a hoarse whisper escaped his lips as my blade twisted deeper between his ribs, tearing through muscle and sinew. I screamed, pulling the knife out and stabbed him again, this time harder into his lower abdomen. His hands flailed weakly, futilely trying to get out of his restraints, but the strength drained from his limbs with each successive thrust. I could see how life started to leave his eyes. Then the room became silent. I gasped for air as I felt a hand coming to rest on my shoulder. I looked back at Hannibal. He wasn’t smiling, but he looked pleased.

Hannibal hands me a tissue and takes a deep breath. “I promise you, Beth. Someday you will be free from all your demons. The people who hurt you will suffer”.

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Next chapter

[itsthatpearl]

Layout idea from @secret-smut-sideblog🩸

Hannibal x F!OC

His Amuse-Bouche

Chapter 6: Closer

AO3 LINK

Beth's relationship to Hannibal grows deeper...

(yes this is the spicy chapter you've all been waiting for)

Word Count: 1.1k

Thanks to Em for beta reading <3 <3 <3

TW: THIS IS A HORROR FANFIC. MAJOR DEAD DOVE. SPECIFIC TRIGGERS ARE LISTED IN EACH CHAPTER, BUT THEY CAN SPOIL THE STORY, SO IF YOU WANT TO ENJOY THE HORROR AS BEST AS YOU CAN, GO STRAIGHT TO THE STORY.

SPESIFIC TRIGGERS: Mental health issues (depression, ptsd, anxiety, social anxiety, panic attacks and dissociating), unethical relationships, sexual tension, sexual themes, (CONSENSUAL) sex, fingering, PiV sex, talk about body fluids (vague), horror, gore, cannibalism, vore, bad parenting, rough language, violence, alcohol, light emetophobia, acrotomophilia

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I moaned softly, eyes closed. “You outdid yourself, Hannibal. This was the best one yet” I opened my eyes to see a satisfied smirk. I took another bite from the beef tartare. It melted on my tongue as I took a sip of a young Pinot Noir to wash it down. I bit my lip. “Humans only need one kidney, right?” I asked, trying not to sound too excited. He chuckled quietly and leaned forward crossing his fingers. “Depends, but you are healthy enough to be able to live with only one” he smiled a genuine smile. I laughed and took another sip of the wine. “Have you ever tasted a kidney pie? I do have a great recipe for that” he added. I raised my brow and smirked. “Oh do you now? Maybe we should put that to the test?” I giggled. He smiled and stood up. “I want to show you something” he said softly.

It’s our second therapy session. “Are you afraid of me?” he asks. I look at him confused. “What do you mean? Why would I be afraid of you?” I grip the armchair under me. I am not afraid of him, but I am afraid of him using me. “Of course not” I answer before letting him continue. But he doesn’t try to argue. He leans back and lets me to change the subject. Maybe he knows the real answer already. 

“This is your bedroom?” I said, raising a brow as I looked at the dimly lit room. “Correct” he nodded and came to stand in front of my wheelchair. “I would like you to move to sleep here. I will move all your books and belongings from your own house and room here, if you let me” he said as he took my hands into his. My mouth opened up and I looked around. He wants me to be close. I took a deep breath and nodded. “I would like that very much”. My answer made him smile and he leaned to whisper in my ear: “get on the bed”

I laid on the bed propped up on my elbows and looked at him while he took his shirt off. I removed my clothes too, leaving only underwear on. He got on the bed slowly coming to hover on top of me like a predator to its prey. I slightly bit my lip as he fondled my cheek and neck. “Are you sure about this?” he asked. He knew I was more than sure, but he still asked. He wants me to want this. He wants to show me he cares. He wants me to understand he isn’t just using me. I nodded, smiling and leaned closer to take his lips into mine.

The kiss was soft but quickly turned into more passionate. I gasped but the sound was muffled by his lips devouring mine. His hands moved to grip my hair gently as I started exploring his back with my fingers softly caressing every curve he had on his back. His lips moved from my lips to my neck while my fingers slid up his back to his hair. The lips on my skin were heated and desperate, moving up my neck to nip my ear, which made me moan out loud. Then his fingers started gliding down. I removed my bralette while we kissed and his hand immediately started fondling the soft skin. He pinched my nipple which made me gasp and for payback I nipped his lip harder. Then his fingers continued their journey down my body.

I closed my eyes, gasping for air when he removed the rest of my clothes and started fondling my already drenched folds. He muttered something inaudible in French. I pulled him into a slow, deep kiss as his fingers slipped in. I was not going to last long. The way he listened to my every single sound, every single tensing of muscle and knew exactly how to react to them. I started moaning louder as the speed of his fingers became more erratic. I looked at him and he looked mesmerized. I came quickly and his fingers fucked me oh so sweetly through it while I just moaned and whimpered against his lips. 

After a few minutes of calming down I kissed his cheek. “Do you want to continue?“ I asked. “I want nothing more” he whispered and started to remove the rest of his clothes. I bit my lip, ready to continue while helping him. We started kissing again. His hot breath flooded my every sense as he gently started fucking me. The scent of sweat and quiet whimpering filled the room as our bodies moved in perfect unison. I’ve had sex before, but this was something new. This was something more . When the kisses and sounds started to become sloppier and louder for both of us everything felt like the most perfect symphony conducted by us. “Hannibal, I- I am going to-” I gasped, gripping his hair as I felt the tension building in my lower abdomen. “You are perfect, Bethany'' Hannibal whimpered into my ear. Him saying my full name made my orgasm hit me like never before. We both cried out as he pumped in a few more times before crashing into his climax too. Then everything went silent.

We both laid there catching our breaths, him on my chest. I looked down at him and smiled in pure bliss. He answered my smile with a gentle peck on the lips. He can’t be a monster. He couldn’t be this gentle and caring if he was one. “Can I ask you something?” I muttered quietly, still coming down from my high. “Of course” he said and shifted to lay next to me. “How long have you been… eating… humans?” I asked. He took a deep breath and turned to look at the ceiling. “I was 6 when I ate my sister’s remainings” he answered. I blinked quietly and looked at him, unable to answer. The two children in the photograph that was on top of the fireplace in the living room. Hannibal and Mischa… was Mischa his sister? After a long silence I finally opened my mouth again. “Did you love her?” I whispered. He turned to look at me. “I did” he answered. For the first time ever I could swear I catched a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. “Can I kiss you?” I asked so quietly it wasn’t even a proper whisper. He leaned closer and we kissed slowly. Was he actually able to feel love? Could he love… me?  

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