internetvoidyelling-blog

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Kinda wanted to die ---> got an upsetting message ---> REALLY want to die

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And here's the thing: I'm not even that deep into a depressive episode. It's just that thinking about the world and humanity makes me feel so hopeless, no matter what mood I'm in.

[internetvoidyelling-blog]

I WANT TO DIE!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!! I WANT TO DIE!!!!

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Damn I haven't actively wanted to kill myself in over a year but here I am

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*wakes up feeling giddy, cheerful* oh no

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Tbh fuck hallucinations!!!!

[internetvoidyelling-blog]

I arrive at mania

thoughts: racing

speech: disorganized

hallucinations: out

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Why am I depressed!!!!! Fuck this

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Cut myself after months and months of not doing it :(

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when you’re having a good time and then ur mood rapidly cycles to Depressed

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The breathing is becoming comforting. Almost like I have a friend here with me

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Everything around me has a feeling of unreality around it... it all feels hazy and weird

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LMAO JUST KIDDING ITS STKLL THURSDAY

I’ve been hoping hoping hoping for sleep this whole time….well I just slept for 24 hours lmao!!!

[internetvoidyelling-blog]

I've been hoping hoping hoping for sleep this whole time....well I just slept for 24 hours lmao!!!

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Back home and I'm scared 😞 I want to go somewhere so I won't be by myself but I don't trust myself to drive. I will only drive to my appointments until this passes, if it ever does

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That was my situation for a while too cause I was rapid cycling and having a lot of mixed eps but my psychotic features eventually made them settle on type 1

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ok but… auditory hallucinations when you’re trying to sleep are literally the worst