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maybe if the veilguard keeps working together post-game on defending the crossroads or figuring out what the blight is doing now or whatever, we can just prevent lucanis from actually going home and being the first talon even if he is the first talon

in my ideal world someone new meeting the veilguard could say “this is the first talon of the antivan crows???” and lucanis would say “what? oh yeah. i mean, yes, that’s me” and they would say “what do you mean oh yeah” and someone else can helpfully chime in that he’s the cook

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the power of wearing a long ass coat. unmatchable

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having brain rot about your own TTRPG character is so embarrassing. yes i love her and i think about her all day and i’ll take any excuse to talk about her. no, there’s no book or anything for you to read. she’s my emotional support rogue. she’s my fidget toy. i wish you could meet her. i made her up inside my head.

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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

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if you wait to do coffee with the crows until after recruiting everyone (and saving treviso) lucanis buys something for each companion at the market

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there needs to be a kneeling knight emoji

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The Demon of Vyrantium. I love the hair texture, I want to touch it! And I made two versions of the portrait. Which one do you like better?

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↳ ᴅʀᴀɢᴏɴ ᴀɢᴇ: ᴛʜᴇ ᴠᴇɪʟɢᴜᴀʀᴅ — ʟᴜᴄᴀɴɪꜱ ᴅᴇʟʟᴀᴍᴏʀᴛᴇ + ᴘᴜʀᴘʟᴇ

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uses my insane musscle memory to open 4 wrong apps in a row

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I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and

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unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things

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attention all bg3 players who have also played any dragon age game!! (which is probably everyone, let’s be real)

im conducting an experiment, so if everyone could please reblog with their romance choices for both games

regards

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ah yes. the classic "I can't sleep because it will be tomorrow in an instant and tomorrow requires things of me and I Simply Do Not Vibe With That". so I'll go through said tomorrow on 2 hours of sleep. very smart and once again no lessons will be learned

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Someone: How are you doing?

The fractured piece of an eldritch deity that I keep in my head at all times: lie.