innefably-gay

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Wolfstar Sketches

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Sleeping beauties

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“this ship isn’t canon” to YOU. I, however, am delusional

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Neil Gaiman Allegations final thoughts: trigger warning for this entire thing/SA but there are no graphic descriptions here.

Thank you to those of you who found my writeup of the podcast to be fair and unbiased. I hope these final thoughts will live up to that. This will be my final engagement with the situation

Regarding Neil Gaiman:

Neil Gaiman is not innocent. This is not a smear campaign. However the circumstances are so much more complex and nuanced than they appeared in the article. The headlines and article were misleading. At best, he is an irresponsible BDSM partner who did not create a safe environment for these women, exploited his position of power/fame over them, and has at least two specific credible allegations of SA. At worse? Well, it's not good.

Did this rise to a criminal/prosecutable level? No. The police refused to take up the victims complaint due to lack of evidence and text messages of consent she sent. We can never know if it was true or false consent (and that obviously doesn't cover every circumstance), but there were messages of consent.

The fact of the matter is, yes he's a creep. He messed up. He made bad choices. Is he a monster? No. Is he a good person? Also no. He's just a man that we don't know, who made some terrible decisions and hurt people in his personal life. Beware of posts that will tell you he is either a irredeemable monster or completely innocent.

Regarding the Victims:

There is no such thing as a perfect victim and this is crucial in this case. These are two women who now feel traumatized by their relationship with Neil, and make no mistake, they are victims here. There is one undisputable instance of SA with K, and Scarlett's first encounter with Neil (assuming Scarlett's version is truth) was also SA. There is no getting around this fact. While age gaps are not inherently bad, these two, coupled with Neil's fame, created an environment that was harmful to them.

However, it is not true that they had no agency in this. They did make decisions, however understandable, that create a case that is complex and unclear. There are multiple times where they knowingly lied about consent during acts they did not actually want, and both verbalized it in writing and in their own words on the podcast. This does not negate their trauma about these events, and this not mean the consent in those moments was freely or unproblematically given, nor does it imply blanket consent. But in the end, consent was given at the time for some acts they now regret, and no concerns were voiced to Neil directly until after their relationships ended. (This is a separate point from the two specific SA allegations)

We do not need to blame them, condemn them, or dismiss them. But we also don't need to purify them and ignore the responsibility they had in how some of the situations played out. (Some not all)

Beware of people calling their allegations false because of revenge, as a political plot against Neil, or fame. And beware of people refusing to look critically at this at all. These are complex, hurt, scared women. I feel so deeply for them and understand their regret and pain on a personal level. But in my case, my hands weren't completely clean either, and it's not victim/self blaming to discuss this aspect.

Regarding Tortoise Media

It is important to discuss that this was reported on by a conservative publication with ties to TERF activists. This is an undisputable fact and does play into how this entire situation has been shaped.

Their political bias absolutely impacted the way this story was told, presented, and investigated. This is not a fully credible source. There are multiple times they refuse to ask follow up questions and leave things intentionally vague. They are not open about sources, haven't provided proof of any of their claims outside of the podcast, and consult extremely politically biased experts. I do not believe this story would have been run by another publication.

As I said in my write up post, the fact that they view BDSM as impossible to be consensual (and in their words criminal in the UK) has an impact when talking about a relationship that included BDSM. They view this aspect as inherently abusive no matter the context and it's part of their main allegation.

However you cannot use these facts to dismiss these allegations all together. Most of this was told by the victims themselves in their own words speaking on the podcast. The issues with the publication does not negate these allegations. It is another piece of the puzzle. Be critical of their presentation, as I absolutely believe they exploited and sensationalized this story, but that doesn't mean there is no truth at all to be found here. Be critical of ALL MEDIA

What's Next

Finally I'm asking that we all divorce ourselves from Neil the person. If or when he returns to tumblr, do not engage. Do not follow. Do not message him. Messages of support or fury will do nothing to help solve the problem, and we will be the ones hurt by it. I do not believe any of this negates his body of work, or the many other people that have a hand in his stories. We are not responsible for things that happen in his personal life. I would also advise against comparing this to JKR. They are completely different situations and the net of harm that JKR casts is vast. These are not comparable.

Please please stop viewing this case in extremes and remember there is so much we don't know. I'm sure there is so much more context that is both damning and redeeming that we will never know. We don't know these people and it is not our job to figure this out.

I love you all, my heart goes out to all the fellow survivors that have had to watch this unfold. Please take care of yourself during this moment. I did not expect my write up to go so far outside of my circle and I think I felt a bit of an unhealthy need to finish what I unintentionally started for myself. I'm begging everyone to remember that no situation is black and white. Everyone is flawed, everyone makes mistakes, everyone gets hurt, and everyone has hurt someone else. That is human.

I will no longer be answering any messages about this situation

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there’s a website where you put in two musicians/artists and it makes a playlist that slowly transitions from one musician’s style of music to the other’s

it’s really fun

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hello trans people of tumblr, do you gorgeous queers know of any homemade alternatives to bought silicone nipple covers to use with trans tape??? hopefully something that you can swim with on as well

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Helping hands (+ doodles)💚🩵

(T4T tddk, trans guy Izuku x trans girl Shouto)

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hey, does anyone who uses trans tape to bind have any advice on where to buy latex free tape that ships to the UK, with covers included. also ideally is packaged discreetly?

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Thinking about the Good Omens S1 body swap…

LATER

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Y'know, there's this gripe I've had for years that really frustrates me, and it has to do with Love, Simon and people joking about it and calling it too-pg and designed-for-straight-people and all the like. (A similar thing has happened to Heartstopper, but that's another conversation.)

I saw Love, Simon in theaters when it came out my senior year in high school. I saw it three times, once with my friends/parents on opening night, once with my brother over spring break, and once with my grandparents.

On opening night, the air in the room was electric. It was palpable. Half the heads in there were dyed various colors. Queer kids were holding hands. We were all crying and laughing and cheering as a group. My friends grabbed my hands at the part where Simon was outed and didn't let go until his parents were saying that they accepted him. My friend came out to me as non-binary. Another person in our group admitted that she had feelings for girls. It was incredible. I left shaking. This was the first mainstream queer romance movie that had ever been produced by one of the main five studios, and I know that sounds like another "first queer character from Disney" bit but you have to understand that even in 2018 this was groundbreaking. Getting to have a sweet queer rom-com where the main character was told that he got "to breathe now" after coming out meant so much to me and my friends.

But also, from a designed-for-straight-people POV (which, to be frank, it was written by a bisexual author and directed by a gay man, this was not designed for straight audiences), why is it a bad thing that it appealed to the widest possible audience? That it could make my parents and grandparents see things in a new light? My stepdad wasn't at all interested in rom-coms but he saw it with me because it was something I cared about and he hugged me when we came out of the theater. My very Catholic grandparents watched it with me and though my grandpa said he still didn't quite understand the whole 'gay thing,' all he wanted was for me to be happy and to have a happy ending like Simon did. My Nana actually cried when Simon came out and squeeze my hand when his mother told him he could breathe.

And when Martin blackmailed Simon, my mom, badass ally that she is, literally hissed "Dropkick him. Dropkick him in the balls" leading to multiple queer kids in the audience to laugh or smile. Having my parents there- the only parents, by the way, out of my group of queer and questioning friends- made multiple people realize that supportive adults were out there. That parents like those in Love, Simon do exist in real life.

When people complain about Heartstopper not being realistic or Love, Simon being too cutesy, I remember seeing Love, Simon on opening night. I remember my friend coming out and my stepdad hugging me and my mom defending us through this character. I remember the cheers that went through the audience when Bram and Simon kissed and the chatter in the foyer after the movie was over and the way that this movie made me understand that happy endings do exist.

Queer kids need happy endings. Straight people need entry points to becoming allies. Both of these things can come together in beautiful ways. They can find out about more queer culture later, but for now, let them have this. Let them all have a glimpse at a better, happier world. Let them have queer joy.

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wHAT HAVE YOU DONE?? ??????

Original Post Here

Next Part

If you are interested, I also wrote a FanFic :)

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daily birds week 16!

mallard + american flamingo

eastern towhee + australian pelican

canada goose + vermilion flycatcher

black-and-white warbler

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to update the south downs cottagers, i live on a very scenic part of the south downs, and as of yet, i have not yet seen david tennant hiding in a box, or being lit on fire by neil gaiman in front of a camera, so I can only assume they have not begun filming yet

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just curious as they're always things i've never questioned just doing but people in my life are often surprised that i don't mind doing them alone

🔁 pls reblog for sample size

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Watching the morning Light ✨

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A matching sketch illustration to my last sketch illustration of Crowley in the morning light~

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Hi there, first time caller. I've seen a lot of theories around season three showing the "fall of Crowley". Can you confirm or deny?

Aziraphale is the one who falls down the hole. Crowley is killed in a tragic (yet comical) pie-baking accident.