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Victorious

Simon: Vikk, don't you think Harry and I fight a lot?

Vikk: Sure-

Harry: But ALL couples fight a lot don't they?

Vikk: Well sometimes-

Harry: YES OR NO?!

Vikk: *yelps*

Simon: Let him talk!

Harry: You never listen to me talk!

Vikk, backing away: Can I go now?

Harry, grabbing him: NO! What is your point here anyway?

Simon: I would like to have a boyfriend I can talk to without it turning into a screaming match!

Harry: Yeah? Well I'd like a boyfriend who other girls don't stare at all the time!

Vikk, confused: I thought this was a closet party

Simon: How is it my fault girls stare at me?!

Harry: You could look worse if you wanted to

Vikk, covering his ears: I'm under my bed, I'm under my bed, I'm under my bed

Simon: I can't believe how jealous you get!

Harry: OH! OH! So you think I'm ugly?!

Simon: Wha- Who sai- DID I SAY HE WAS UGLY?!

Vikk, hyperventilating: I- I-

Harry: Vikk thinks we're a perfect couple!

Simon: Vikk, are Harry and I a perfect couple?

Vikk: I-

Harry: DON'T ANSWER THAT!

Simon: ANSWER IT!

Harry: SAY NOTHING!

Simon: COME ON!

Harry: YOU COME ON!

[Vikk passes out]

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Kidnapped

[On the phone]

Kidnapper: We have your son

Josh: I don't have a son

Kidnapper: So who just asked us for chocolate milk and made us cut the crust of his sandwich?

Josh: Oh my God they have Vikk

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Coffee

Josh: So who broke the coffee pot? I'm not mad, I just wanna know

Vikk: ...I did. I broke it.

Josh: No. No, you didn't. Harry?

Harry: Don't look at me! Look at Simon!

Simon: What?! I didn't break it!!

Harry: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Simon: Because its sitting right in front of us and it’s broken!

Harry: Suspicious.

Simon: NO IT'S NOT

Ethan: If it matters, probably not, but Tobi was the last one to use it.

Tobi: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Ethan: Oh, really? Then what were you doing in the kitchen earlier?

Tobi: I was getting a snack, dumbass!

Vikk: Okay, lets not fight! I broke it. I really did.

Josh: No! Who broke it?

Harry: JJ's been awfully quiet

JJ: REALLY?!

[everyone starts arguing with each other]

Josh: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict ten minutes from now they'll be at each others throats with war paint on their faces and a pigs head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little too chummy around here.