incorrectmaskedsinger - Tumblr blog

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Swan: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than ‘fuck’.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Lion: Don’t change the subject.

Peacock: What’s the subject?

Lion: Me.

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Lion: Oh please, Poodle. You loathe/love Rabbit. And he loathe/love's you back, which is pretty much one step away from matrimony.

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Lion: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about!

Rabbit: THAT IS TRUE!

Lion: He has no respect!

Rabbit: THAT IS ALSO TRUE!

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Rhino: What are you doing?

Kitty, standing on a chair: I live here, you know. I can stand wherever I want, thank you.

Rhino:

Kitty:

Rhino: Where's the spider?

Kitty: Under the table.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Hippo: Here's what I wonder about zombies.

Hippo: What happens if they can't get any human flesh to eat? They can't starve to death, they're already dead.

Deer, to Peacock: You take this one. I spent an hour last night on "How do vampires shave when they can't see themselves in the mirror?"

Peacock: Well-groomed vampires meet in pairs and shave each other. Case closed.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Raven: *wears a slightly lighter shade of black*

Peacock: I see you’re bursting out the spring colors.

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Rabbit: I’m telling you, molotov cocktails work.

Rabbit: Any time I had a problem and I threw a molotov cocktail, boom! Right away I had a different problem.

Deer: ... He makes a strong case.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Ladybug: Never apologize for your giant dog getting overexcited. If I get taken down by a 100 pound mass of fluff then that’s how I go.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Thingamajig: All my clothes keep disappearing, it's creeping me the hell out.

Egg, clearly wearing Thingamajig's sweater vest: Spooky.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Thingamajig: You can’t just use the excuse “I’m gay” every time you make a bad decision.

Egg: ... But I’m gay.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Rabbit: Trauma? Oh, you mean the reason I’m fucking hilarious?

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Black Widow: When I was in preschool there was this really weird system of time-out where they’d put you in this giant plastic bucket.

Black Widow: And the rule was you couldn’t leave the bucket for ten minutes.

Black Widow: In case you didn’t know, I was what the teachers referred to as a “difficult child” which is code for “walking entity of sass” so I was in the time-out bucket quite a bit.

Black Widow: Once they put me in the bucket for thirty minutes— and I thought that was incredibly unfair so I grabbed the handles and shifted my body repeatedly until the bucket and I were out of the classroom, in the hallway, and through the front door. They found me in the parking lot scooting to freedom in the time-out bucket. The teachers were furious and I said, “Hey, I never left the bucket.”

Black Widow: So they called my mom and told her what I did and she just said, “Well, she never left the bucket.”

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Raven: Have children, they said. It’ll be fun they said.

Hippo: PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!

Monster: IT’S TOO BIG TO SMOTHER! GET THE ANTI-FLAMETHROWER!

Poodle: ITS CALLED A FIRE EXTINGUISHER YOU—

[glass shatters, something explodes, Monster screams]

Raven: Don’t listen to them. Don’t.

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Rabbit: That's my way of doing things. When life gives me pain, I take that pain and push it down. And if that pain starts to come up again, I push more pain down on top of it.

Rabbit: Why confront something when you can avoid it, right?

Unicorn:

Unicorn: Rabbit, do you need a hug?

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Black Widow: Would you shoot your best friend in the leg for 10 million dollars?

Rottweiler: Fox, shoot me. Then when my leg heals we can buy a huge-ass house and sweet cars.

Fox: Hey, you can shoot me too, and then we will have twenty million dollars.

Rottweiler: Good thinking. Fuck the system.

[incorrectmaskedsinger]

Leopard: A five letter word for happiness? M-O-N-E-Y.