incorrectkamartaj

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: Stephen, repeat after me:

Wong:

Stephen:

Wong:

Stephen: But you are not saying anything!

Wong: Exactly.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Mordo: You better have a good reason for having done all of this.

Kaecilius: Oh, I have several.

Kaecilius: Pettiness.

Kaecilius: And also anger.

Mordo: That’s it?

Kaecilius: Oh! And I have a desperate need for love and attention. But now that you’re here, that’s taken care of, right?

Mordo: [holding Stephen’s hand] Yeah, about that…

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold?

America: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.

Rintrah: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

America: Good thinking.

.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Karl: Kaecilius just asked me out.

The Ancient One: Free dinner.

Wong: He doesn't like him.

The Ancient One: He likes free dinner.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: What’s with the napkin on the glass door?

Mordo: Stephen keeps walking into the glass door, so I thought this would help.

Stephen: Oh, cool! A floating nap— *walks into the glass door*

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: You need to see a doctor immediately.

Stephen: Oh, I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound?

Stephen: Mind your own business.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Hamir: How's teaching going?

The Ancient One: I can't tell any of my students apart half the time because I don't go by height, age, or appearance.

The Ancient One: I go by who's a pain in the arse.

The Ancient One: Which makes them all identical.

Stephen: Hey! Fuck You!

The Ancient One: Except for Stephen.

Stephen: Thank you.

The Ancient One: He's the bloody worst of them all.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong : We need a plan.

Stephen : I have one. I still have a fist. Dormammu still has a noses.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Stephen: I’m going to ask you to be respectful.

Wong: I will politely decline.

[incorrectkamartaj]

[Mordo and Wong scolding Stephen]

Mordo: We are not mad, just disappointed.

Wong: No, we are mad.

Mordo: Yes, we are mad. We are livid. But we are going to let this one slide because you are a good man.

Wong: No, we are not. And no, you are not.

Stephen: Now I’m just confused.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Mordo: I am uncomfortable when flirting.

Mordo: I never know when it’s the right time to show my man that I can fit an entire fist in my mouth.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: I once thought I was being haunted by a ghost dog. It would come into my room at night and it just wouldn’t stop barking at me.

Wong: But it turned out that Stephen just got a dog and didn’t tell me.

(bonus)

(Stephen: in reality, it is a real ghost dog)

[incorrectkamartaj]

Wong: How have you been coping with everything?

Stephen: With sarcasm mostly.

Wong: Has that been working?

Stephen, sarcastically: Yeah, it's been super great!

[incorrectkamartaj]

𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗴: "dumbass" except we're friends

𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗱𝗼: "oblivious idiot" except we're in love

𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲: "you make my life a living hell" except i actually care about you

𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝗵𝗲𝗻: wow i feel so loved in this house

[incorrectkamartaj]

Kaecilius: People tell me I have a unique way of lighting up the room.

Mordo: It’s called arson and those people are called witnesses.

[incorrectkamartaj]

Stephen, about Wong: You don’t want to mess with my best friend.

Stephen: He’ll wear down your self-esteem over a period of years.

[incorrectkamartaj]

The Ancient One, whispering at Stephen: Tell him, “You have beautiful eyes.”

Stephen: That’s good. Okay.

Stephen: [turns to Mordo] I have beautiful eyes.

Mordo: Yes, they’re lovely.

The Ancient One, whispering: Not your eyes! His eyes!

Stephen: Oooohhhh… [turns to Mordo] Your eyes. Your eyes are beautiful, not mine. Mine are okay, but yours, I bet you can see right through them.

The Ancient One: [throws her hands in the air] Good enough, I guess.