incorrectbloodplus

[incorrectbloodplus]

David: Listen, in the wild wild west there is always a woman in the saloon and nobody messes with her even though they all have guns.

Julia: That's because she's a prostitute.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Diva: There. How do I look?

Saya: Like a cheap French harlot.

Diva: French?!

[incorrectbloodplus]

Haji: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Diva: I don't want your advice.

Haji: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Kai: It doesn’t have a bone.

Diva: Then why is it called a boner?

[incorrectbloodplus]

Riku: I think this might be a bad idea...

Kai: Don't start thinking on me now!

[incorrectbloodplus]

Saya: Hey, Haji, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Haji: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Saya: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Haji: Can't really say I have.

Saya: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Haji: Sorry, Person F. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Diva, sniffling: Calm down, I’m probably not sick. It might just be allergies.

Nathan: Okay, tell me this: are you like, really tired?

Diva: I have depression, what do you think?

[incorrectbloodplus]

Solomon : *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Karl: What was that?

Diva: The sound of someone else's problem.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Haji: Saya, please calm down.

Saya: I asked for two large fries!

Saya: *dumps fries onto table*

Saya: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

[incorrectbloodplus]

Riku: Why don't we just call it, "M.C. Donald's?"

Kai: Because it just sounds like a stupid rapper's name.

Saya: It'd just be like- "Eyo, it's ya boy, M.C. Donald!"

[incorrectbloodplus]

Saya: You’re mad.

Diva: I’m never mad.

Diva: …

Diva: [ holds a knife ] I’m never mad. I get homicidal. Get it right, gosh.

Saya: Diva. Remember your therapy.

Diva: You want to die too Otonashi?!

Saya: Go to your happy place, Diva.

Diva: Okay. I’m in a luxurious bathhouse. I’m waited on hand and foot… And I’m bathing in the blood of my enemies.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Kai: I can’t feel my leg.

Diva: …

Diva: [ stabs his leg]

Kai: [ screams in pain ] ARE YOU INSANE?! WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Diva: Oh boo-hoo.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Diva: This is bothering me.

Solomon: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Diva: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Nathan: I made tea.

Karl: I don’t want tea.

Nathan: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Karl: Then why are you telling me?

Nathan: It is a conversation starter.

Karl: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Nathan: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Diva: Must be hard not being able to laugh.

Haji: I do have a sense of humor you know.

Diva: I’ve never heard you laugh before.

Haji: I’ve never heard you say anything funny.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Saya: Hey Haji can I get a sip of your water?

Haji: It's not water.

Saya: Vodka, I like your style!

Haji: It's vinegar.

Saya: Wh-Wha-

Haji: It's vinegar, COWARD.

[incorrectbloodplus]

Diva: Am I going too far?

Kai: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.