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If there’s any of my followers with some cash to spare, please consider buying something from my wishlist because I am 100% broke and in need of some stuff.

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Mitsuhide: God, you are so clingy.

Hideyoshi: You climbed into bed with me?

Mitsuhide, snuggling closer: Despicable lies.

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Dazai, holding a salt sachet: It's just a little sodium chloride.

Isaac: Actually, Dazai, it's salt.

Dazai: Yeah. As I said, sodium chloride.

Isaac, taking the sachet: This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terms for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

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Ranmaru: Wow, I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.

Mitsuhide: Those are bones, Ranmaru.

Ranmaru: Not if I never look down!

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symbolism of the suitors’ choice of pets!!!

i like to think there’s a reason why each suitor got a specific animal and not, say, another animal as their pet. this is all i’ve been thinking about so i’ve decided to dump the results of my brainrot in a post. i won’t do every single guy bc there’s just too many of them, so i’m just doing the ones i can think of off the top of my head.

[cut for length bc i’m covering ikerev, ikesen & ikevamp]

ikerev:

Lees verder

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Mitsuhide: Makin my way downtown, walking fast--

-sees Yoshimoto talking to the MC-

Mitsuhide: WALKING FASTER

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Arthur: The past tense of William Shakespeare? William Shookspeare.

Dazai: Wouldiwas Shookspeared.

William: I am giving thee ten seconds to runneth.

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Petit Four

Fandom: Ikemen Vampire

Character: Leonardo Da Vinci 

Prompt: Leonardo is not taking any chances and brings out some old superstitions again. Happy birthday @mezzy303​!!!

Warnings: Mentions of food.  

Word count: -1k

Masterlist

Leonardo found himself at a crossroad that day, a little frown apparent on his face as he wondered what had moved him to be so silly. He prided himself to be steadfast and confident, not easily moved by superstition or trend, never persuaded by the masses and his unchanging ways.

Yet, here he was, box in hands and an assortment of petit fours. Some square, some round, all with their own charm and decoration, but only one contained a present. A sign of good fortune, if you managed to pick the pastry containing the present. It had fallen into fashion with the couples in Paris, as they believed that if a red string was found first it meant that the couple was destined to match.

Lees verder

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I'm just saying that sign language should be something taught to all people.

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Masamune: [gets a text] Oh! It's Mitsuhide.

Hideyoshi: Did he get me the stuff?

Masamune: Yeah, he says he's got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.

Hideyoshi: Wow. Where'd he find 12 gallons of fake blood?

Masamune: You wanted... Fake blood?

Hideyoshi: ...

Masamune: I'll go call Mitsuhide.

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Vincent: You know what they say: shoot for the moon, and if you miss, at least you'll land among the stars!

Theo: [muttering] Or suffocate in space, I suppose.

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Ray: So we've gotten to the point in quarantine where my partner comes home and says, "Darling"-

Ray: [points to a creepy statue on the table] -"I brought home a potentially *cursed item*"!

Fenrir: The keyword is "potentially"!

Ray: The keyword is "cursed"!

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Comte: How are you?

Leonardo: Oh, you know, still the resident family fuck up.

Comte: Well, I guess someone has to do it?

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Mitsunari: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I'd just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Mitsuhide:

Hideyoshi:

Mitsuhide: I'm gonna tell him.

Hideyoshi: Don't you dare.

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Sasuke, to Kenshin: Pick your battles. Pick-

Sasuke: No, pick fewer battles than that.

Sasuke: Put some back.

Sasuke: That’s too many.

Kenshin: [protectively clutching all his battles]

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Nobunaga: So what's it like, dating Hideyoshi?

Mitsuhide: One time I asked him to bring me some water while he was mad at me. He brought me a glass of ice and said "wait".

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Masamune: So if I run into that wall

Masamune: Headfirst

Masamune: Full speed

Masamune: And I DON'T break my skull

Masamune: I get three hundred bucks?

Mitsuhide: Basically, yeah.

Masamune: Seems legit.

Hideyoshi, bolting after Masamune: HEY NO-