imisstheboysonthestairs

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

i want to play this song 24/7 365 i cannot get enough of it. it makes me remember why being in love is so amazing ugh i can’t stop listening

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

i go home in a week!!!!!! me and the boi are basically back together and i am so happy. also cannot fucking wait to shove 100000 white castle burgers in my face as soon as i land at JFK oh man. i never thought i’d miss NY this much but wow i sure do miss it a lot lmao

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

Wtf

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

i’ve been in CO for almost 2 months, i get back to NY the weekend after halloween and i’m so exited i can barely wait. i get to see my fam and the loml and my friends and eat good NY food!!!! i get pizza and dumplings and white castle!!!! these next 6 weeks better speed by im dyin here

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

i don’t want to be dead but i don’t want to be here. idk how to explain it but this sadness inside me is absolutely crushing my entire being. all i do is cry in secret all day and then just slap on a smile and help everyone else deal with their shit. being the mom friend is great but my god i am so fucking tired and mind numbingly sad all the time. i carry so much sadness and so many secrets from so many people and then my stuff is just……pushed aside. i don’t have a me and i need one so bad bc i can’t go on like this anymore.

i also started cutting again so that’s probably not great. at this rate my body will be barcoded more than i ever expected. i mean i also thought i’d be dead by 20 and i’m almost 30 so??????

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

feeling a preemptive heartbreak is the fucking worst and i would never wish this on anyone. i leave NY in less than 2 weeks and the boy who i am so sure is my soulmate and i are never gonna have the future we should bc both of us are so emotionally fucked up and even tho we’ve had the talk and divulged everything, it doesn’t matter. i just hope i can find something similar to this feeling with someone else bc i can’t spend the rest of my life heartbroken.

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

abbott elementary is so fucking great????????!!!!!!! i mean i’ve loved quinta brunson since she was at buzzfeed so i expected nothing less but oh man!!!!!!

[imisstheboysonthestairs]

omg only murders in the building is SO good????????? selena gomez and steve martin and martin short are so good together i love this show so much!!!!!