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Me: Just finished silly hijinks with my partner.

American police officer: *Breaks door down* "Sir do you have any idea how fast you were going?"

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Mad? I was mad once.

They cast me in a chamber, a cushioned chamber.

A cushioned chamber with vermin.

And vermin drive me mad.

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That was surprisingly wholesome, thank you

Do you think I can write a compelling and moving fiction piece about mpreg?

i think you can do anything you set your mind to

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If you piss off a ghost enough does it become a vengeful spirit?

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Saw one of those reversible plushies but it's a wolf/ sheep. Switches be like

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They're doing it, the sons of guns are doing it and Godzilla/ Kong's worst nightmare is Chris Pratt

Film theory:

Godzilla Vs Kong has been built up as this big clash of the titans film, but we've seen this happen before in other big action series (Civil War, Batman Vs Superman, etc.)

Theres always some villain who appears in the third act and the two opposing forces unite to destroy them.

But who is the real villain of Godzilla Vs Kong? Which iconic character are they going to bring into the mix to turn the two away from each other and onto them?

I'll tell you who: Mario. Mario who, for decades, has time and time again defeated prior incarnations of King Kong and Godzilla; Donkey Kong and Bowser. To the both of them, there's no bigger threat in the universe than the Italian plumber who has caused both of them so much pain and suffering.

But what happens when Mario is introduced in the third act? The twist on the genre is that he actually beats them both. With Godzilla and Kong defeated once and for all, Mario can finally pursue his true goal, the true finale of the series.

The New Super Mario Brothers Movie: 2023

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PSA: The new Skittles cookies are literally antidepressants and have temporarily fixed me and I-

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Fuck it, mushroom/mould alignment chart

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Things which trypophobes can't do:

- poop

- pee

- breathe

- eat swiss cheese

- have sex

- sweat

- drink from a bottle or can

- eat Aero chocolate

- use binoculars

- 👌

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"Wow omg it's so cold but you're so warm how???"

Thanks, its the bottled rage.

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Okay so.

Heaven is above Earth. It's like in the sky in the clouds. Clouds can't form above the atmosphere, so we know that Heaven is within the Earth's atmosphere.

Helium is lighter than air, helium rises upwards. However, it won't leave the atmosphere because of Earth'z gravitational pull.

With this religious + science knowledge combined. I conclude that God and the angels sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

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So in order to grow embryos you need a lab setting, meaning a hospital without one couldn't do it, and for some communities this might mean having the baby grown a while away.

What if there was a Baby Van which had the sole purpose of transporting embryos in a mobile lab to remote hospitals.

There's a lot of room for a good slogan, but in my head theres nothing better than simply "We deliver."

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The idea of the grim reaper going around harvesting souls suggests that there's also a grim sower who guides fresh souls to their future parents.

They carry a pouch of souls and plant them one by one outside hospitals, clinics and houses due for a baby.

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Film theory:

Godzilla Vs Kong has been built up as this big clash of the titans film, but we've seen this happen before in other big action series (Civil War, Batman Vs Superman, etc.)

Theres always some villain who appears in the third act and the two opposing forces unite to destroy them.

But who is the real villain of Godzilla Vs Kong? Which iconic character are they going to bring into the mix to turn the two away from each other and onto them?

I'll tell you who: Mario. Mario who, for decades, has time and time again defeated prior incarnations of King Kong and Godzilla; Donkey Kong and Bowser. To the both of them, there's no bigger threat in the universe than the Italian plumber who has caused both of them so much pain and suffering.

But what happens when Mario is introduced in the third act? The twist on the genre is that he actually beats them both. With Godzilla and Kong defeated once and for all, Mario can finally pursue his true goal, the true finale of the series.

The New Super Mario Brothers Movie: 2023

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Me, dropping my bean: my bean :(

My mum: it's a has-bean

Me, hearing my first dad joke from my only parent: ;)

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That wavy, distorted feeling you get along your body when you're lying awake and you remember something that needed doing.

There you are just trying to vibe when suddenly "woaaaaaah hold your horses I'm busy not sleeping could you leave this until its impactful."

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Hot take:

We know 2021 isn't going to fix all our problems after this dumpster fire, but it's still good to celebrate the end. Realistically it'll be the same but so much happened this year that it's just nice to not live in a time that has so much negativity tied to it.

Happy New Years!