iguessimdoingthis

[iguessimdoingthis]

Yesterday when my bf and I were coming home from dinner he stopped and was like “hey I was looking at u & it does seem like you’ve lost weight” & like he hardly ever comments on my weight bc he knows it’s hard for me to talk about but eeeeeeeeee yippee

[iguessimdoingthis]

Okay so I’m actually doing pretty okay with going to the gym. I swear I can start to see my neck and collarbones more but I might just be coping.

Idk like yeah I wanna lose weight but I’m not dead set on being stick thin anymore. I mostly want to just look better.

Trying to focus on every number but the scale. I’m progressively overloading on weights & taking cues from body-building type accounts. Really trying to focus on form so I have a concrete way to measure progress (anyone can half rep 180 on the leg press ffs).

I’ve also not GAINED weight since I started doing this. Hopefully that means I’m at least a little bit recomping because like I’m definitely getting stronger but I don’t think I look all that different.

I took body measurements in September and allegedly I’ve lost 3” in my waist and 1” around the fattest part of my arms. Mostly concerned about lose skin there. I Can deal with it on my tummy.

Anyway incoming muscle mommy???? 👀

[iguessimdoingthis]

Somehow I have the teeniest thigh gap just above my knees at 275????? Lol. Lmao.

Like last time I was losing this much weight I had a gap at like 240???? I have been going to the gym a lot more this time though so that’s probably it because my quads are solid.

Like idk I feel better physically but I’m still pretty fat. Eh. We’ll see.

[iguessimdoingthis]

thought of this while i was smoking today x

[iguessimdoingthis]

wearing baggy clothes now so when summer comes around they’ll all be shocked by my body >>>>>

[iguessimdoingthis]

eds are real funny cause you think you’re the one in control until you realize you can’t tell the difference between you now and you 20lbs ago

[iguessimdoingthis]

Bitches call me triple A the way I be anorexic, anxious, and autistic

[iguessimdoingthis]

me, 23, looking at tips to avoid bingeing that includes things like "do your homework :)" or "work on that school project"

Photo source // Pinterest

god i feel fucken old

[iguessimdoingthis]

I’ve lost two inches around my waist but I don’t feel like I look any different. I obsessively check my collar bones and wrists even though I definitely cannot see them at the weight I’m at.

If I go off the numbers at the wisdom tooth centers office I’ve lost nearly 30lbs but that kinda still feels like bullshit because I haven’t even been restricting that hard.

I’ve been skipping lunch, but maybe it’s time to tone down what I eat for breakfast too. Dinner is unavoidable bc I live with my SO but yeah man idk.

I want to be smaller than him. It’s attainable too, he’s huge. (Like super tall). Idk I’m like not even mad at myself anymore I’m just bored. I’m bored of being fat. I’m bored of being uncomfortable in my own skin.

[iguessimdoingthis]

Anyone on here who is not a child? Like 20+? I felt weird enough still having ED tendencies still at 19 and being on here, but wow, now I'm 22. I know EDs don't have age requirements, so anyone else out there who is a similar age, and ESPECIALLY if you're someone who is plus sized eating disordered, and have yo-yoed the same 50 pounds back and forth, like this so we can follow each other. Definitely 18 and older though please ❤️

[iguessimdoingthis]

being properly fat with an ed is such an isolating feeling. like. ive lost loads of weight, but im still fat. and i just like want to talk to someone who gets me. like yeah im fat i still have an ed. fuck. my lw was only 150 before i was made to recover. wtf man.

[iguessimdoingthis]

kinda love that 9/10 non disordered ppl have no awareness of food or calories so when i tell my bf all i ate was 2 pickles he’s like “better than nothing” bc he doesn’t know that it’s literally >5 calories and technically does nothing energy wise 🤭

[iguessimdoingthis]

time to go back to work at the Starving Myself factory

[iguessimdoingthis]

Body in Fasting Mode ੭* ੈ✩‧₊˚

There is literally nothing better than the feeling of fasting for soooo long that you body goes into ⭐ving mode and completely stops producing ghrelin(hormone that causes hunger).

It feels like you stepped out of a sauna.

It feels like a cold glass of water.

It feel like your finally in full control.

No stupid body signals, No hunger Panes, Only your own self-control to steer you to your goals.

Try it and you'll be addicted.

Gonna fast for 5 days to feel it again <3

[iguessimdoingthis]

The Starving Artist Diet

hollow cheeks and the quiet aching of one’s stomach, cold dead winter, subsisting on cigarettes and coffee, insomnia, empty kitchen cabinets, clementine peels, layers upon layers, feverishly writing daily chronicles, epiphanies in the middle of the night (the kind that starving intensifies and sharpens), cold ink/paint-stained fingers warmed by a cup of tea, blouses too big hanging on a withered and (dare I say) malnourished frame

idk what this is lmao

[iguessimdoingthis]

Me knowing full and well that people have created a term specifically for an0rexic people who eat nothing but junk food because its that common among us and still feeling like a fake rexie for not eating clean 24/7 😔😔😔😔😔😔

[iguessimdoingthis]

sometimes i fr feel like im faking having an ed like maybe im just a fat person who feels rlly guilty about being fat LMFAOO