iamjava

[iamjava]

"Have you ever write a happy ending story about us?"

"It's quite challenging and thrilling you know. To potray happiness in us being together forever. Like the picture of us going to so many places, or to imagine how we argue bout little things then calm ourselves by watching our favourite anime so we forget what we're argue about. Or the scene when we're too old and will sleep so fast  without saying goodnight but i know tomorrow i will see your face smiling in the morning with wrinkles around your eyes yet for me you're still the most charming person i've ever met.

Nevertheless, no matter how many times i've tried, i never could finish my writing.

In every character, every alternate universe i build in my head You will always be the unreachable one. My brain wont deny the truth that you and i will never be together.

That's the reality"

[iamjava]

Dah cocoklah ikut lomba bareng anak tk atau sd

[iamjava]

[iamjava]

I am thankful to Allah SWT who gives me loving family and loyal friends.

But sometimes when i am alone on the road, a song will be played and that song will remind me of you.

A glimpse of memories i dont want to let go.

A slice of happiness i cant keep for my own

At that moment i know

I miss you

- Me, 17/3/20

[iamjava]

A way to remember

[iamjava]

Seandainya aku kembali ke rumah dan jarak diantara kita hanya 45 menit jalur udara, apakah kamu mau bertemu lagi denganku?

[iamjava]

Title: Slice of Friendship

[iamjava]

Oblivion

"isn't it cold? I can't relate just how much you love winter," said the man who sat beside her.

She never knew why everyone loved Spring either. The weather’s always warm, and she couldn't stop sneezing because of her allergic reaction to pollen. On the contrary winter always felt calm and pure. It brought her tranquility and remoteness. 

“You won't understand how I enjoy solitude"  she answered, "that's until I met you," she added to herself.

"I don't mind the cold, I'd rather seeing you than gazing some blossoming cherry trees" he chuckled while said those sweet nothing to her as if he were just saying some calculus formula which are not only boring, confusing, but also convincing. 

she couldn't help but smiling and feeling warm inside as though someone sneaked in sun into her heart.

"let's find a coffee bar around here. I don't want to freeze to death" he smiled again as he walked on the pavement however he stopped abruptly and started to look around him like a lost child.

"Why am I here?," he said to himself and then the man walked away from her.

 She clenched her hand, her eyes teared up as she saw the man was getting far away. She called him but neither he could hear her calling nor seeing her anymore.

                                                            ***

It was spring when they met again...

[iamjava]

[iamjava]

And i realised how i was constantly swaying from one side to the other. I wanted to stop. I wanted to decide. But some stupid philosopher kept telling us to go with the flow, to drift with the river of life. What flow? This is not a flow. It's a predictable swing that goes back and forth without ever moving elsewhere. We should've known better. Maybe we had, but pretended not to know...I read about them all, you know. But at the end of the day, i knew i was just a love fool trying to find some sense in this crazy world.

[iamjava]

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Eleanor Roosevelt (via thepersonalwords)

[iamjava]

[iamjava]

A story about The Owl and The moon

Missing someone, for me, means fighting against myself. It takes a lot of effort to defeat your desire, to keep yourself in check, and prevent the feeling inside you goes berserk.

it is not easy to control. Do you think it will vanish throughout the years? no, it won't. It was a maddening feeling inside you and you got burned by the sensation of missing someone, of wanting to see and you did anything to make it subsides. After all those years I've finally used to the feeling, of course, it is still there but right now it is just like a thirst in your throat when you're fasting and at the end of the day you can drink as much as you want. 

So when the sun sets and the feeling hits me, I look out my window and see full moon in the sky, a beautiful one at that, I reassure myself that it is the reason why this happened. The full moon always reminds me of him, something beautiful enough to be admired yet so far away to be reached. its beauty and light have made this gravitational force inside me. it's alluring me to watch and appreciate the feeling even more. I can't look away and i have to condemn myself to lose by my own fight. 

I am missing you

[iamjava]

[iamjava]

[iamjava]

“Whoever fears Allah (swt), Allah will find a way out for him (from every difficulty) and He will provide for him from sources that he could never have imagined.” 

 Quran 65:2-3

[iamjava]