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I broke up with my boyfriend of 1 and a half years, part 1.

Okay, so I broke up with my SO a couple of days ago, and I guess I realized that we always comfort the person who get’s broken up with, but never the person who has to break up with someone else. So here are two things that this experience has taught me:

1. When considering breaking up with someone, trust your feelings, but know where they come from. 

In a healthy relationship, it’s important to be in tune with how you feel, and be communicating those feelings to the other person. 

Trusting your feelings and impressions is really important in a relationship, because it helps you avoid unhealthy situations, keeps you from getting into/continuing a relationship that you aren’t actually invested in, as well as keeping you honest and real with the other person. When it comes to breakups, the same rule should apply. 

If you aren’t feeling the relationship, then that’s okay, and it’s actually more courteous to let the other person know now, rather than drag the whole thing out and hurt them more when you eventually do decide to break it off. It’s OKAY to feel like the relationship isn’t working for you, and you shouldn’t feel guilty about telling your SO how you feel! 

That being said, it’s also important to know where a feeling is coming from. If you aren’t invested in the relationship, you should try to pinpoint where your feelings are stemming from. Sometimes this can be very general, and sometimes it can get really specific. Either of those is okay. You just don’t want to break up with someone over something that you could collaborate on and resolve, and end up regretting the break-up later, because it wasn’t actually what you wanted. 

So, acknowledge what you feel, and recognizes that it’s okay to feel that way, but still know where your feelings are stemming from, and evaluate what it is that you really want before you do something rash.

2. You can feel sad about breaking up, even if you are the one who did it. Let yourself feel those emotions. 

So my break up went extremely well by most standards. I’ve been good friends with the guy since I was twelve, and liked him for a lot of that time. We decided to date about a year and a half ago, and i only just decide to break it off. (For a lot of personal reasons.) He’s honestly an amazing guy, and I was really worried that breaking up with him would ruin our friendship. It didn’t. He was super understanding, and supportive of my reasons, and we still talk semi regularly and hang out. 

But even though it turned out okay, I still felt sad about it. I also felt weird about being sad, because I broke up with him, you know? And it felt like I didn’t have the right to be sad about something I caused. That is 100% NOT true. it’s okay to feel sad after you break up with someone. No matter how it went, it’s still the end of something. Let yourself feel those emotions and work through them. 

Anyway, those are just my thoughts. XD

[iamanuncertaintysalad-blog]

This is now the only thing I will believe about this year. XD

meirl

[iamanuncertaintysalad-blog]

Me: “Wow I’ve really dug myself into a hole this time.” 

Me: *Keeps digging”

[iamanuncertaintysalad-blog]

A mostly pointless story about adulting

Storytime

I am a broke human, working at an assembly line type food factory over the summer to earn enough money to pay for my rent in college. 

Anyone who has worked a similar job, will know a couple of things:

1) You spend long shifts doing the same action over and over. (My shifts are 10 hours long)

2) because of the noise in a factory setting, listening to music or talking to your co-workers is very difficult, and mostly doesn’t happen.

3) In such settings, your brain has no choice but to think about random things for the duration of your shift.

Now me, a fresh out of high school talkative bean, thinks about a lot of things while I flip noodles into lasagna pans for 10 hours. Yesterday, it was about how it feels to be an adult. 

I will tell you now, that I have found no better analogy for adulthood then the one I found while flipping noodles. 

My brain: The feeling of turning 18 and being expected to adult is like being asked to put a noodle into every lasagna pan. You really try, but the noodles are slippery and stuck together, and more often then not you get distracted and end up simply watching the empty pans in horror as they continue down the conveyer belt completely empty of the noodles you were supposed to put in them.

I will tell you that there is no worse feeling of panic on this earth than doing a job, and knowing you are messing it up, but being forced to watch as the job moves beyond your control and into the abyss of the factory assembly line. 

Adulting is the same way for me. Not gonna lie. XD