i-am-just-a-girll

[i-am-just-a-girll]

[i-am-just-a-girll]

bye😭

normalize letting me talk without making any sense

[i-am-just-a-girll]

i usually do make sense😭

normalize letting me talk without making any sense

[i-am-just-a-girll]

TW:Starving

In my opinion I was just trying to be thin

Just trying to lose weight and look good

But I started obsessing over it so much that I started puking everything I ate and as if that wasn’t bad enough I started eating chewing gums and ice cubes and tricked my brain into thinking that it’s food

Food that I needed to survive,

Again not live just survive

I felt lightheaded when I stood up

And I could feel my bock bone when I used to sit

But then again it wasn’t very bad cos I was still able to feel normal after a while of standing up

And I did not get any internal injuries

My grades did drop but at least I was not failing

And yes I wasn’t feeling great in fact far from that but at least I looked great, or did I?

My hair started falling out so much that the drainage started getting blocked, my skin started getting pale, my eyes had purple rings around them but hey at least they looked better than dark circles

I had this app on my phone to keep track of my calories and let me tell you I have never been more loyal to anything

I felt cold all the time but hey I guess good for me cos I hate summers

Maybe you called me chubby in a good way but that word struck me like a brick cos I didn’t have any food for a week

And I hate how girls in school are like I haven’t eaten all day cos they think it’s cool but anorexia isn’t a joke it is a fucking battle which took me all the energy left in my body to fight, but it wasn’t enough cos clearly I lost my battle to the thoughts of my mind

The fear of gaining weight was so extreme that I felt like I was losing my mind

I thought I knew what I was doing I mean not really cos I lost control over my body but it was just easy to convince people that I did

I didn’t accept it but I was tired

Tired of starving the entire day, tired of this constant addiction of getting thinner

Oh you have no idea how exhausted I was

But at this point my body held more power over me than my brain did.

[i-am-just-a-girll]

heyy, just another girl who loves lifel

alr well i am from india, turning 16 soon, i love dancing a lot, writing, cooking, reading a bit yea, a professional yapster fr😭, i adore animals so much

my biggest strength and my biggest weakness is that i feel too deeply and i would never change it for the world🫶🏻