honey-warm

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I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.

Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.

(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)

If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.

I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.

I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."

no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see

Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"

If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.

After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.

But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.

The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;

or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.

(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)

Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:

And here's what the chef brought me this time:

THAT'S A CAT.

I knew it!!!!

And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is

But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(

I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)

That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.

[honey-warm]

sweet edition

are you a honey or jam person… are you a mango or strawberry person…  are you a milk chocolate or dark chocolate person…?

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on love arriving unannounced

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will you please take my whimsical ass seriously

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like matryoshka, one inside another inside another inside another.

Birthright, George Abraham // tumblr user dogsmouth // The Complete Poems of Anna Akhmatova: White Flock //Anne Carson, Nox // A Crash Course in Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk // Herman Melville, from a letter to Nathaniel Hawthorne //tumblr user eridan-amporna // tumblr user boyflesher(deactivated) // For Your Own Good, Leah Horlick // Elizabeth Robinson, Brothers

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English added by me :)

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Dress from the Art Deco era.

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the increasingly casual nature of everyday clothing in mainstream western culture has heightened our susceptibility to Oops All Evening Gowns Syndrome- that is, the willingness to believe that literally any relatively nice dress from before the 1920s was formalwear -because a party/ball is the only context in which we can imagine wearing gowns like that

in this essay I will not, because my nose is very stuffed up and I am Annoyed

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laduree macarons i wanna try!

chocolate, strawberry candy, vanilla, marie antoinette, c’est la vie: amande lucuma & rose  ♡

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In my mind I’m wearing this outfit all summer long… 🌸🌼

From Loveshackfancy (of course!!) ~

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Types Of Girls, Luxury Brand Edition! 🎀

burberry :: fluffy hair, doesn’t believe in “casual friday”, presents herself as a lady, lace-trimmed nightgowns, frequents the library, high tea with the gals, bedroom smells of pastries and petrichor, speaks with a slightly posh british accent, avid fashion history appreciator, calls everyone her favorite term of endearment

chanel :: ropes of shiny pearls around her neck, handwritten cursive letters, freshly baked breads, smells of sophistication, her purse must always match her shoes or she’ll “die”, has probably said some questionable things in the past, would rather marry for money, keeps a rococo-style boudoir

miu miu :: either her eyes or lips or legs are/is her best physical feature, tulle-trimmed brassieres, would skip school to enjoy a strawberry milkshake and fries at her local restaurant, rosy cheeks, exudes an undeniable girlish charm, candy-colored cashmere cardigans, can’t seem to rid herself of the sultry twinkle in her eyes

yves saint-laurent :: glossy eyelids, walks with confidence, sleek black loafers, laughs like a disney villain, alligator handbags, slicked back hair, the epitome of “individuality”, a thin golden chain around her neck, has taken ballet in the past, has resting b*tch face but is the sweetest person in the world

givenchy :: smokey eyeshadow, would own an engraved cigarette case despite being a non-smoker, would pair a satin blouse with leather slacks, eccentric elegance, slinky black dresses, oversized black sunglasses, red wine and rose petal bubble baths, isn’t really one to follow trends

gucci :: diamond chokers and tiaras to match, never leaves her nails unpolished, martinis in the nightclub, hot pink feather boas, listening to sensual music while bathing, would buy the same mink coat in five different colors just because she likes the style so much, believes life is dull without a bit of ostentatiousness

christian dior :: appreciates the importance of fragrance, adorns her hair with opulent clips, either has an outrageous shoe collection or an outrageous handbag collection, always makes sure that her outfits put emphasis on her waist, sprays herself with rosewater constantly, mysterious eyes

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Vintage Sonata piano shaped compact

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“I love this hair/shoe/makeup/nail style and want to wear it but no one else wears it anymore :(” okay and? buy it and wear it anyway sheesh, do you need a hive to do it with you or are you capable of enjoying things as a party of one, like…

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The Princess: delicate pink bouquets, waxed, pampered + moisturised, fine china, hot rolled, shiny and expensive-looking hair, an inordinate amount of elaborate cushions, classical literature, tiny diamond earrings, prim + polished nails, a rosy glow, old romantic movies, exquisite pastries + sweet treats, teapots, only dresses and skirts allowed, waking up on a silk pillowcase, a satin robe for morning skincare, floral perfume, Tchaikovsky.

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one thing i need to start living by is “become the thing that you want” if i want friends who throw themed parties maybe i should start throwing those parties. if i want someone who writes me love letters maybe i should start writing letters for the people i love. if i want to hang out at museums and pretty cafes maybe i should invite my friends to these places. and maybe even then i won’t find the kind of people i want to be around. but then i would have become the exact person i want to be around. and maybe that’s good enough.

[honey-warm]

Why patience is key

Hey girlies,

I think we all know this situation: we write down our goals and how we’re gonna achieve them.

We start working out, do our skincare religiously for a week, eat clean…but after two weeks that feel like years we don’t see much progress.

We don’t have ABs, our skin is not crystal clear and cooking three meals a day annoys us.

We get mad because we did everything we could but can’t really see a difference.

Well, I have bad news for us all. It’s not possible to change your life in a few weeks.

We have to be patient, no matter how hard it is.

We can’t expect our body to completly transform in a few weeks after we neglected it for the last years.

We can’t expect our skin to clear up in a week after we did nothing for the last few months.

It is painful, I know. It’s a bitter pill to swallow, I know. But we have to stay strong and patient.

Results will come with time, remember that.

[honey-warm]

being delusional and romanticizing everything is all i need