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GET OUT THERE, GO. Keep moving. Keep smiling. Keep trying. Keep pushing on. Nothing ever lasts, the good and the bad, so hold on to the good moments when you have them. If you're not happy change it. Brush that negative shit off and move on. Life's too short. Live your dreams out loud. The only excuses not to, are the ones we make for ourselves.

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Fear and Success go hand in hand

The best learning lessons are in your failures. Without failure, we would never learn. 

So many people I know, including myself put so much pressure on themselves to be perfect. We have become so afraid to fail this day and age, there is no wonder why anxiety issues are at their all time high. In an era where we are constantly forced, if not literally shoved in our faces, to compare ourselves to the success and progress of others. From personal experience, this makes it almost impossible not to be afraid to fail. Its almost like, were all racing up this super steep mountain trying to make it to the top, and if you just make on little false movement you’ll completely lose your place, and end up at the bottom with all the other failures. 

FEAR is such a powerful word, with so much context. I think most people live a life doing their best to steer clear of it. To fear something means its bad, end of story. If you are put into a fearful situation, you are putting yourself in immediate danger.

 I say, “BULLSHIT.” 

Fear is your ego guiding you to stay the same. 

Ego is lazy, ego hates change. Ego hates change because ego likes to stay in control. Ego would rather stay in a warm comfort blanket because it is easier that way. If you want change, if you want progress, if you want success, you need to challenge your ego.

Fear is not scary. Fear is just another way to say “Maybe” “what if” and “let us see”. Fear is temptation, challenge and a learning lesson all in one. Fear is chance and faith. It gives us the foundations to build trust. If you are afraid that’s a good thing! It gives you the first steps to beginning a journey, but you have to keep traveling forward to see the outcome.

Fear creates progress

If Bilbo didn’t agree to go with the dwarfs the Lord of the Rings would of never been written.  He didn’t want to at first, if fact he was just fine and dandy hanging out having second breakfast for the rest of his life. That was Bilbo’s ego. We know this because eventually, deep down, we found out that adventure was exactly what he had wanted for a very long time. 

How many times throughout your life have you been afraid of something, only to do it again and again so much that it just became second nature. Do you think your baby self was super confident to walk? No. I’m pretty sure your brain told your body many times that it was pretty freaking scary. You probably fell a lot, and sometimes it sucked, and each time your brain was like “ I dunno man, maybe we should keep crawling.” But after every failed attempt you learned something new, and eventually you took your first step…and then fell again. After many failed attempts you got the hang of it. Now, you don’t even think about walking, its just natural. (excluding the nights after one too many tequila shots and bad decisions).

My old roommate and I have a saying, “It is just like traffic.” When we first moved to the city, she was terrified to drive on the freeway. For someone who has never had to, it is pretty damn scary.  For the first few months she avoided driving at all cost. Until she met a boy, and was forced to endure the horrible concrete jungle maze of the city. Eventually, she got used to it. So much so by the end of our first year living in the city driving on the freeways was like second nature. In fact, it was optimal…learning the freeway system was easier than learning all the intricate side streets and dead ends of the city. That doesn’t mean there were many wrong turns, traffic jams, and very close near death experiences involved. Eventually though, every close call and wrong turn she learned more about the system. To the point that it was just part of life. So now, anytime we are in a situation we fear but it is vital to adapt to , we say to one another “its just like traffic.”

I am my hardest critic. At this point in my life I have lived past caring about the expectations of others. I could give a flying rats ass about what a majority of the population thinks about me. However, my biggest fear, is letting myself down. I have such high expectations for myself, that I am constantly afraid of disappointing myself. As a result through the years I have learned one thing. I would rather try it, and learn that I suck at it or don’t like it, than live my whole life wondering “what if.” My curiosity for experience out weighs my fear of failing. By now, I have become so good at failing that I’m pretty sure I could make it my career. The amount of experience I have from my failures have become so vast and broad that in truth, I could. For a long time I was uncomfortably obsessed with a guy. We had a couple little exchanges over the years but nothing to serious to render us to be the next Niccolas Sparks novel. One random night a friend convinced to text him to see how he was and to let him know I was thinking about him. The idea literally almost gave me a heart attack it made me so nervous. It had been about six months since our last encounter. Things were weird, and honestly didn’t really go so smooth. Finally after a few confidence lubricants (cocktails) I finally decided to hit send. My heart sank waiting for his response. I was so nervous I was shaking. In truth though I knew it was something I had to do. I was thinking about him, and I was curious about his new life. The worst that could happen was that he wouldn’t text back. In that case, I would then know that there was officially no point in trying ever again, and I could close that door for good. I fell asleep that night with confidence after not receiving a response, knowing that at least I got closure. I would of never had that without sucking down my pride. I was now free of my curiosity towards the situation. It was now the starting blocks that I need to help myself heal and move on from the situation.

I think instead of the fear of failure, we need to learn to embrace it. In 2016 Leticia Bufoni, a Nike Pro female skateboarder, face planted the concrete after trying to perform a very tactical trick in the super crown. It was her last shot at the crown that year and she blew it. She was immediately rush to hospital where she suffered several head injuries. You think that stopped her from getting back up and trying again? Ego bruised, and a little terrified. I have no doubt that the first push off after the incident was just a wee bit shaky, but she pushed through it (literally). She got back on her board and ended up winning second place in 2017. She studied her failures, she embraced them, she learned from her mistakes and used them to become a better athlete. In an interview later asking her about her fear of falling she could only say “I can’t give up, that’s not an option.” Her fear of not trying, out weighed her fear of failing. 

If you fall off of the horse, dust that shit off, and get back on. Every fall you learn something, and every attempt the horse uses to buck you off wears it out. Eventually ones going to give. Either you give up, or the horse breaks. 

Either you give up, or something happens that leads you to success. 

Or at minimum progress. The best thing you can do for yourself is to teach yourself to find love and passion in the progress and the process and not to focus on the finish line. When we notice an athlete we only ever see their results. We only ever see them winning the race, the game, or the competition. People hardly think about what they had to do to get there. No one considers the hard work and sacrifices they had to make. Failed relationships, not being able to eat certain things, giving up a constant social life, days when you’re body is so tired and sore it’s hard to even chew, but you have to because you have to cram in a certain amount of calories to sustain your body. People want a big booty but never consider that it takes a lot of hard work in the gym and a lot of times to sit on the toilet hurts. It hurts to walk 5 days out of the week. Football players and extreme athletes often have body aches and constant head aches from previous impact to their head. Female runners usually sacrifice the ability to conceive due to the long term effects it has on their body. When you see an amazing photo of a well trimmed body and body composition competitors, they generally are starving during the shoot or competition. Yet, I can bet though if you were ask a majority of athletes why they do it, they’ll tell you something along the lines of “ because I love seeing my progress, I love the challenge, I love seeing how much my hard work pays off. I love the process.”

Life is scary, but that’s why it is so fun. Understanding why you are afraid of something and confronting it is the first steps towards being stronger and confident. Once you know why you’re scared, you can confront it. Failing from our risks teaches the fundamentals needed to be better. I gives us the building blocks to change the outcome. If you don’t asses your fears you can’t figure out what you need to change in order to see progress. Every step small or big is just a journey in a very intricate Maze. There’s many side quests and goals and speed bumps and bad luck you’ll meet along the way. Just stay focused on what you learn, and trust that everything is progress, even the set backs.

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Vitamin D and H20 are vital for a happy and healthy mind and body!!

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FAT is GOOD 

PART 2:

We need to stop this fear of fat. Every body is unique and beautiful in its own right and place. The word FAT is simply just a word. I am so sick of it being used as the sharpest of knives to cut each other down. In all realness fat is made by our body to help us survive, and to me that’s pretty cool. So whether you’re stick thin, curvy or heavy set it doesn’t matter. That’s who you are. The more you see the beauty in yourself, the easier it is to appreciate the beauty in everyone else. No one is the same, we all hold baggage in different places. We need to stop attacking each other because of it, but most of all we need to stop attacking ourselves based off of unrealistic expectations. No amount of diet or exercise can chase your demons away if you cant learn to understand that.

and just in case you  needed someone to tell you:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL

YOUR FLAWS MAKE YOU PERFECTLY IMPERFECT 

YOUR BUTT LOOKS AMAZING

YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR THOUGHTS

YOU CAN DO THIS

FUCK WHAT THE HATERS SAY, DO YOU. 

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FACTS

Remember to have fun!!! 

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The best way to get your food is directly from its source! The best way to “Diet” is to simply eat food that is in it’s most natural form. 

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FAT is GOOD.  PART 1:

Before I even begin this rant I want to first and foremost state, I AM SO SICK OF THE WORD FAT BEING USED AS A NEGATIVE CONNOTATION!!!!

Now, I am going to have two parts to this rant.

Part 1: will be about FAT in terms of nutrition and why it is GOOD for you.

Part 2: will be about the word and idea of FAT and why we should stop being afraid of it.

PART 1: FAT FREE does not make you FREE OF FAT!

I absolutely love and am also constantly annoyed at the reaction I often get when I tell people I NEVER count calories, and most of all, I never look at the fat content. Unless, I am eating junk and I am seeing how much crap my body wont digest (trans fats and hydrogenated fats)  I could go over the complete scientific run down on why (good) FAT is the most amazing thing on the planet, but for the simple reason that most people are not like me, and would rather not know the confusing science stuff, I will try to spell it out as basic as a mimosa brunch in Forever 21 crop tops and fresh Jordan’s on a Sunday because “I just can’t even” as I can get. 

To begin, have you ever heard the term “Nature adheres voids” ? What this means is nature loves to fill holes. Anytime you take something away, to create balance nature adds something else to fill the missing hole. So, IF something is FAT FREE of LOW in FAT, that means something else is generally added to replace it, NO? Fat does many things and we will get into that, but one of the best things fat does is give food flavor. Generally when fat is removed, usually sugar or some other chemical processed junk is added to recreate what fat does. Sometimes its just part of the process, in order to remove fat from milk product they use sugar to get the fat to separate. Then they SKIM off the fat hence “SKIM milk”. So let me give you some food for thought: What do you think is more “fattening” Sugar or fat?

 Your body uses fat for so many great things. It helps create cell membranes, regulate insulin levels, balance hormones, helps your body create muscle, regulate good body temperature, transports nutrients throughout the body, maintains healthy bone growth and supports healthy thyroid function. Fat also makes you feel full and satiated a lot longer because it takes more time for your body to break it down. Without proper balance of any of these things, it is much harder to lose unwanted fat on your body. (I will make a Blog about the importance of hormone balance later on and how this all relates) 

So why would Fat be less Fattening than sugars? 

It is true that our body also needs sugar to create energy. However, the problem these days is that most diet put people at a caloric deficit, and restrict fat intake. So, instead of using fat for all the amazing things your body uses it for it tries to use the sugars and junk in your processed food you’re eating. Most of the time your body doesn’t even know what to do with it, and generally if your body doesn’t know what to do with something it just sticks it in the junk drawer. Only the junk drawers end up being the cells we call “fat” in unwanted places. A higher intake of sugar, increases insulin levels, this in very short tells your body to make fat cells. This can also cause your body to release cortisol, a hormone used to regulate blood sugar. Cortisol is also used to increase fat cells.

 I am not going to even begin to start about the effects of low fat and caloric deficit diets. That’s an entirely different rant on its own. For now let me just state as blunt and honest as I can: JUST DON’T, PLEASE. :) 

Furthermore, anything that is not how it is naturally, generally means that something is added to make it unnatural. Processed things added to fat free products are usually harder if not impossible for your body to break down than fat itself. Not being able to digest something is really hard on your body and usually causes digestive issues and inflammation which can have serious long term effects on your body. 

My biggest rule of what to eat: Try to get it in the most natural from you can, fat and all. The more natural it is, the easier your body can process it. Your body has adapted to breaking down that stuff for ages. 

End result: Fat is your friend and you need it. 

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Stop Talking Sh*t  (for your own health)

Every person you affect is a direct representation of yourself. If you affect someone negatively, you are representing yourself negatively. Seems like a simple concept, but the more social media and texting runs our life, the more it feels people are starting to detach themselves from this idea. We need to become more aware of how much ones self can impact each other. In the end it shows others how you will impact them. If you choose to influence someone adversely, that shows spectators how you will eventually affect their life as well. When I was little my Aunt used to always say, “remember, if someone is talking bad about other people that they claim is their ‘friend’ imagine what they say about you when you are not around.” 

More so what it comes to, is much deeper than just being a dick. A lot of times people say and do rude things as self reflection. People sub consciously  represent themselves negatively purely for the basic fact that that is exactly how they view themselves. Have you ever noticed that most of the times someone makes a bad comment about someone or something it generally is about something that makes that person uncomfortable? I have a person in my life (without throwing them under the bus) who I have to deal with directly, often. This person makes so many comments about people’s weight it would almost seem like an obsession, and in all reality it probably is. This person’s number one insult without fail is to call someone me least favorite F word, FAT.  It took me years to realize that the reason why calling someone fat was this person’s favorite attack was simple, they were terrified themselves of becoming “fat”. Their fear in turn outwardly reflected and ended up affecting many people in their life, including myself, negatively. As a result, I ended up viewing this person negatively…because it made me view myself poorly. Who wants that shit in their life? 

The mean things you say about others, only strengthens and validates your own insecurities. Think about this one for a bit. If you’re constantly criticizing people for something, that ultimately makes you terrified to become that. As a result you become insecure about becoming the thing you use against people in fear that they’ll use it against you. The more you use it as an attack, the more afraid you will become of that idea. Now suddenly, you have this big dark insecurity hanging over your head that you have to constantly defend yourself from. Like Ramsey Bolton (warning G.O.T. spoiler ahead), no matter how much you think you can trust your attack dogs, they see no difference in the victim. Negativity will feed on whatever energy it can get, and eventually your negative weapons (attack dogs) will consume you as well. 

The more positive foundations you give yourself, the easier it is to over power the negative. So instead of using your insecurities as weapons to harm others, use them as a way to help. Turn your fears into a comfy sweater. The easiest way to do this may just in fact blow your mind. Honestly, it goes deep and takes some pretty scary self confrontation. The first step is becoming aware of the insecurities, but more importantly, why. The next step is the most complicated yet simple thing anyone could ever even consider. Yet, it is still difficult to wrap our lassos around. Are you ready? Embrace them. Acknowledge them, become friends with them. The second you can acknowledge your fears and insecurities and accept them like old time friends you haven’t seen in a while, is the moment they stop becoming your enemy. 

So the next time you decide to talk shit about someone, or say or do something rude, I want you to ask yourself “is this truly how I want to be represented?” More importantly, I want you to consider if what you’re saying is worth adding in to the negativity energy you’re about to carry because of those words or actions.