haveyounerd

[haveyounerd]

— Charles Bukowski, Screams from the balcony

[haveyounerd]

— Leo Tolstoy

[haveyounerd]

I want someone who admires me with the same intensity as they admire the moon and the stars.

[haveyounerd]

“For I am only flesh and bone and blood; My mind holds sapential knowledge, simultaneously, with esurient desires.”

anonymous

[haveyounerd]

“Disallowing myself to love is nothing else than self-restraint. A seatbelt, keeping me from falling out of a crashing plane into a boiling volcano.”

-me 10 seconds ago

[haveyounerd]

“I’ve seen a lot of beautiful things with a heavy heart.”

— Albert Camus

[haveyounerd]

join blog

[haveyounerd]

[haveyounerd]

Staying in a relationship just because you love someone is not worth it. love is not all you need. Respect is what you need. Time is what you need. Reassurance is what you need. Happiness is what you need. A bestfriend is what you need.

[haveyounerd]

"How do you write such realistic dialogue-" I TALK TO MYSELF. I TALK TO MYSELF AND I PRETEND I AM THE ONE SAYING THE LINE. LIKE SANITY IS SLOWLY SLIPPING FROM BETWEEN MY FINGERS WITH EVERY MEASLY WORD THEY TYPE OUT. THAT IS HOW.

[haveyounerd]

Words can’t be muttered if there’s no secrets...

But what do you think to say that you’ll never speak?

I know better than to ignore a gut-feeling,

But even when we’re half-asleep?

You’ve taken more than you’ve given for the last time

I said that last time,

When we still had time

And eachother, even when we didn’t.

Did you ever think to commit, to us?

Or were you too busy finding reasons to cuss?

You just had to be so special

The spotlight can’t be on if it’s not shining your way

Even when it was supposed to be my day.

Now we’re at eachothers’ throats at midnight

I don’t care what started the fight

I just wish we could’ve solved it right.

08/11/2024

by nerd

[haveyounerd]

“you’re a writer, right?”

me, staring at the one sentence i’ve managed to add in the last hour and the 12 open tabs on the specifics of shoes in 1845 Ireland: In theory.

[haveyounerd]

my favorite writing exercises :D

go to a public place (coffee shop, library, etc.) with something to write with, and create fake character descriptions for random people you see. list what they wear, give them a name, and create their backstory. pay close attention to what they look like and what they are doing (studying, reading, etc.)

look around and find two random, inanimate objects. describe what they look like, how they would act if they were alive, and give them names. after the individual descriptions are finished, write a tragic love story between the two objects.

write down a random word (this is more interesting if the word is longer) and list the history of the word, the definition, examples of it in sentences, and its synonyms and antonyms.

[haveyounerd]

some writing.

Never had Fauna thought the purest moment of her life would also be the most melancholy. The bittersweet weight in her chest complimented the salty tang of tears from her eyes; tears that would soon be familiar; a weight that would only become heavier with time.

With the only source of light being a lonely streetlight above, she desprately wished for the stampede of overwhelming emotion to end, for her eyes not to be bloodshot and her voice not to quiver through her delicate words. Against this, she spoke:

“I could never be more sorry. I’m sorry for rushing, for sabotaging what you had and for causing so much pain upon you. There is nothing more in this moment that I wish for you to know other than that. I truly am so, so sorry, my love.”

There was a brief silence. Yet, her mind spat wonders of thoughts.

“You only meant to love me, Fauna. No words you say will change that, not now and not ever. I just wish that I could love you as you have loved so many,” He persisted, “But I cannot. I can’t give you what you’re asking for – my heart simply will not allow it. Even now, I feel as though I belong to Her. She carries a part of me with Her and I am only a man, I do not hold the ability to deny my own soul of its desires.”

He wrapped his arms around Fauna as if he were holding fine china, being ever-so-careful not to shatter what was already broken.

“Look at me, Fauna.”

She didn’t move an inch. To her, there was nothing more humiliating than to be seen in this weak, dreadful state. Vulnerability was a notion she actively strayed away from.

“Look at me,” He repeated.

Attempting to plaster on a face of ‘strength’, Fauna gave in to his request and shamefully glanced at her lover who belonged to another. She did love him, after all, and no lifelong habit would completely overcome that factor. Not even pride. But even the blind could have seen the fear in her eyes; a fear of losing everything in one quick second.

So, without a word, he simply embraced her, offering any measure of support he could in that moment, if at all. He offered in that instance a warmth that Fauna had not yet felt before, a warmth that had finally made mankind’s greatest quest make sense to her. This feeling, this gorgeous, precious sentiment made conscious – this was real love. Not the kind shown on television or written in books, but the rawest kind of love, of two hearts aiming for the same target but missing by just millimeters. This love had torn away the walls Fauna worked so many years to raise, and the ocean of silent tears only grew more intense within her. She wept into his caring arms, holding a firm grip around him, knowing very well that this was the last time she ever would.

7/21/2024

by nerd

[haveyounerd]

An older comic that a friend and I made together for a school project. We had the idea of splitting the work in half -- I drew Keznie ("Kez"), and she drew her own character. I think it turned out well, at least for the work of two highschool freshmen. I do, however, look back at this with somewhat melancholy vision, as I've since shifted friend groups. But I still talk to (and draw with) her when I find the chance to.