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I know you might not see this and I might look like a coward for being anonymous (I don't get involved in drama and want to stay away from anything, consequently missing the events that made you leave) but I really wanted to say that I admire you for standing up for your beliefs and saying what sorely needs to be said about attitudes toward Hartman. I've always been disappointed by how fandom treats him for the reasons you outlined, and although I'm sad that you've left, I'm glad I know why now.

I completely left the platform to avoid drama, don't worry, I get it. XD Please don't mistake me expressing my frustrations as 'taking a stand.' That's too strong of a term. And I’m not defending BH in any way. I would not approach the situation the same way now as I did three years ago. I don't regret the essence of what I said, but the way I tried to appeal to people was very naive. Part of the reason I'm speaking so bluntly is that I'm not here all the time - I don't have much of a reputation to preserve since I'm basically gone. Tumblr culture is not very forgiving. There's a bit of a vibe of "be positive and flawed only in these specific ways! ...or else" People are categorized as either "good" or "bad" with no room for human error or growth. It's honestly a little scary. Which gets *real* frustrating when people tackle topics I agree with, but in ways that I feel are unhealthy or otherwise... I guess I can't use the word problematic here. Not the best approach? There's no room to challenge that without accidentally putting yourself on the wrong part of the good/bad binary.    I'm just a person at the end of the day. I felt let down by a community that I had poured so much love and energy into. What I thought was important in the phandom (for me, that was its beautifully diverse transformative creativity) turned out to be less of a priority than hate-trending. Which might not be a deal-breaker to some people, but it was for me. I’m still pretty bitter about it. Those feelings get a nice kick in the nards every time someone leaves an out-of-context comment on that post.

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I’ve been gone so long that I forgot about the minefield that is Tumblr politics so I'm gonna do this again, from the top, with no one getting potential crossfire over it. (that was shitty of me, I'm sorry) That post  (y'all know the one) is three years old. I'm not keeping track of this topic and I'm not interested in re-opening a dialogue, it's beyond a dead horse at this point. I'm responding as a blanket statement in case anyone else unearths that thing and actually bothers to check the OP blog. It was frankly heartbreaking to see a community I loved for its transformative and creative energy devolve into a dumpster fire of hate posts. Not criticisms, not retrospectives or 'let's learn from this guy's mistakes,' just sheer directionless rage. Everything was framed in terms of 'I bet Butch would hate this' as if that's what mattered. It drowned out everything else. I just wanted people to let go of what felt, to me, like a lost cause and focus on the really amazing things that we'd built for ourselves, regardless of the showrunner's "authorial intent." Silly me. Tumblr has no place for de-escalation. The "I wanna get off by mouth-r*ping him to death" "joke" I witnessed on a phandom server was a shocking moment of extremes (in fairness, most people don’t take it that far), but in retrospect that was inevitably going to happen in a culture that celebrated spite. I don't want to have **any** part in that culture. I could try to talk about the inherent futility of demanding a modern, socially-conscious auteur mentality from the middle-aged creator of a two-decades-old kids' cartoon, the absurd over-weighting of celebrity opinion, or point out the self-congratulatory armchair activism and indulgence in outrage culture in a particularly insular echo chamber, but eh, y'all ain't gonna listen to me. If it's gotten better since then that's great, I guess, good on you, but I'm done. Try to be kind to each other, alright? Peace out.

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Phanniemay ‘19 Day 30 - Moving On

I wanted to at least make one thing to commemorate the last Phanniemay so I hope this simple little pic is good enough :’)  I started Phanniemay way back in 2013 when I first got into the Phandom.  I’ve met so many amazing people and had so many great experiences and I’m just sad I couldn’t end on a stronger note.  It’s been a very rough year but yesterday marked the beginning of a good change for me, and I’m excited to move on to something bigger and better. 

Thank you to everyone who’s participated!  It’s been so great to see the creativity everyone brings to the table for a show that holds a special place in our hearts.

If you’ve finished all 31 days of Phanniemay, don’t forget to message me with what you’d like!  Limit to one character only, and refs must be available.

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Hey Becca? Thanks for everything. <3

Phanniemay Day 30: Moving On

An Annie for @beccadrawsstuff - Thank you for hosting Phanniemay for all these years! Its been a blast :) 

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Hey Guys

Well I’ve tried it out for a few months and I honestly think my life is just less stressful without Tumblr content. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

I’ll pop in every now and then (@ alerts are on so if you wanna tag me it’s worth a try!) but as a whole I’ll be moving on to other social platforms. I’ve set up some Instagram/Twitter accounts for writing/cosplay/art - if you want to follow me on there, DM me or send an off-anon ask.

Much love for all the good times! Despite drama and disillusionment, I’m glad I lived here for a while. :)

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The Magazine (aka the scariest dream I ever had). 

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i still don’t understand why recovery isn’t romanticized more. getting better after being at your lowest point? working hard and doing what it takes to feel safe again? knowing that occasional dips aren’t the end of the world? changing yourself and ridding your life of toxic behavior/people? i’m sorry that sounds better than any edgy miserable story i’ve ever heard. 

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Hi!

I decided to reborn my blog!

I haven’t words to describe my happiness!

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p21

End scene. And with that folks, I’m back on hiatus.  I haven’t been able to keep up with this posting schedule as well as I hoped I might and so we’re on pause while I finish the next scene! Based on feedback, I will be posting pages every 3 or 4 weeks once I start back up to try to stay ahead and not keep having to pause between scenes like this. I’m not sure yet when that will be but I’m aiming for June and July. Stay tuned and check my #clockwork-comic tag for updates and more info, which I’ll share when I have a more precise ETA nailed down. Thanks for your patience! <3 Power effect created in part with Apophysis.

comic page tag | first | prev

on dA | on AO3

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you cant just say you have a hack for drawing pinstripes and not tell us jude cmon

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This is the difference 477 episodes make.

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two essential skills for artists

“good enough” and “fuck it”

“good enough” is when you are working on something and are happy with most of it but can live with a few imperfections, useful when needing to move on from sketch to inking/coloring or what have you.

“fuck it” is when you absolutely hate what you’re doing every step of the way but you post it anyways, very useful during art blocks.

both are useful to help you move on and not obsess over making it perfect, because art is anything but perfect, even photo realistic artists probably see imperfections that someone else might not catch 

these can also be applied to other things in life

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him too

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Don’t Be Fooled

I’m still on hiatus - I just dropped in to throw some stuff in my queue and see what Tumblr was up to (within the tiny circle of Things I Have the Mental Energy to Care About). Welcome back @sandflakedraws it makes me happy to see you arting! Same to @modmad I’m glad your hands are feeling better! @sarapsys congrats on finishing that comic arc!

And now I’m off again. I might resurface in June?

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Unplugging for a Bit

Signing off Tumblr for a few weeks! Possibly a couple of months.

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Something that happened at work today.

PATREON | KO-FI