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In a desert a person with a half filled bottle of dirty water can control you. Do not settle for this. Find the wellspring of your own being and be free.

Edit: this is mostly advice for the world.

For fellow INFJs: every person must eventually find the wellspring of their own being. You can not be their well spring. You can not give endlessly of your own wellspring to save them from the person with half a water bottle of dirty water. Sometimes they have to drink the dirty water. I don’t know why, it’s their journey.

You have to learn to be your own wellspring for you. You can give generously of yourself, but if your own garden is withering because you are giving away all your water to everyone and anyone who asks, you are not truly helping them, you are delaying their journey to find their wellspring, and it is wildly unhealthy for you. You will end up bitter and resentful and your own wellspring could dry up.

You end up standing in the desert with nothing surrounded by needy people who have only learned to ask of you. And when you turn to ask them for help they have nothing to give you. They already drank or used the water you gave them. And they never went to find their own wellspring. They were too comfortable using yours.

Then you have to begin the hard work of finding your own wellspring again, digging feeling into the sand, wandering farther in search of an oasis.

Do not give away your energies lightly. Give of yourself freely and without expectations, but never more than you have to offer.

Edit edit:

Oh and btw, the thirsty needy children standing around you as your wellspring dries up will only resent you. They are thirsty now and you suddenly stopped giving them what they needed! So rude of you! They will storm away angrily, blaming you for their current pain even though you just spent all of your energy trying to relieve that pain.

Edit edit edit: they will actually sometimes then accuse you of being the dubious person with the dirty water.

But then maybe as your wellspring dries to a trickle, you become the dubious person with the half a bottle of dirty water.. and you do drink it… because you have to.. because that too is part of your journey.

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