gymgirlsblog

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Anyone notice in survive

“Six hundred lives at stake, it's just one life to take

And when we kill him, then our journey's over

No dying on me now, defeat is not allowed

We must live through this day

So fight, fight, fight”

-but they didn’t kill him. Therefore their journey wasn’t over. And the 600 lives died.

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Violet: *shivers* I’m a little cold.

Xaden: Here take my jacket and some blankets! Would you like me to turn up the heat? You warm enough? Need some of my clothes?

Garrick: I’m actually a little cold too!

Xaden: Should’ve worn a jacket stupid.

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the only criminal thing this man has ever done is have a face card that looks like THIS

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Can we please appreciate Odysseus being a silent stalker in the shadows, taking out suitors with his bow, not deigning to speak to them as he takes them out one by one

until some of them go "we have to strike him in the darkness too! we know the halls of this palace! the odds can be tilted!"

and Odysseus, built this palace with his very hands, has to step out of the shadows like "are you this fucking stupid"

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"I'm just a man"

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Thinking about how Odysseus carved the wedding bed out of an olive tree, which means the bed is rooted in the ground.

Thinking about the line “You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!”.

Thinking about the fact that Odysseus built his entire palace around that olive tree, his and Penelope’s wedding bed, a symbol of their love.

Odysseus’ world is literally built around his love for Penelope.

…..i’m not crying, i just have an odypen in my eye.

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Odysseus: Penelope I am not the same person you fell in love with, I have done terrible things to get home. I understand if you can’t accept the monstrous things I have done-

Penelope: cool, could you please move this wedding bed

Odysseus: what, no!

Penelope: that’s my husband

Odysseus: Penelope I have killed so many

Penelope: I don’t give a shit

Odysseus: I sacrificed my crew-

Penelope: And I would’ve done the same

Odysseus: I am covered in the blood of the suitors

Penelope: and you look fantastic

Odysseus: I TORTURED A GOD ON HIS OWN WEAPON

Penelope: and that was incredibly sexy of you

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Can i also point out how freaking funny is that Telemachus went on a "diplomatic" mission, only to return cosplaying as Athena to kill the suitors?

Telemachus: "im going to kill those bastards"

Athena: "no not dressed like that"

Telemachus: "ok better?"

Athena: "yes bitch slay"

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ive been thinking about this a lot

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Live Telemachus reaction

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Unless you want to be very, very annoyed, Odysseus do not Google the map that Odysseus took on his journey.

How the fuck did we get to Troy to Lotus eaters? I know it’s technically not Canon but like what?



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kid Odysseus learns to never call his mentor when shes with her back to him

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Now it's PROFESSOR Riorson, huh?

Xaden's just out here collecting all the sexy titles isn't he?

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I'd like to share a few pre-odyssey stories from Odysseus's life that I think are fun.

He didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted into the war as a general. He tried to get out of it by pretending he was crazy because he didn't want to leave Telemachus and Penelope. So, when the guys came to his castle, he was out in the field pulling a plow, with the horse behind it like the horse was driving him. And most of the guys were like, "Wow, he's totally crazy!" but the head dude was like, "No, he's tricky. We gotta see if he's actually crazy. Bring out his newborn son!" So they brought Telemachus out, and put him in the path of the plow being like "If the king is actually crazy he'll run over his son!" Odysseus didn't do it, he swerved around Telemachus, and his cover was blown, so he had to go to war.

There was a prophecy that the first soldier who set foot on the beaches of Troy during the attack would die first, so when Odysseus's army were on the boats about to attack, none of them wanted to get off, in fear of dying. Odysseus was like "okay we need to get this show on the road." so he made a big show of talking about how ridiculous prophecies were, while secretly throwing his shield down on the sand. Then he was all "I'll jump down first, to prove that it's silly!" So he jumped off the boat onto his shield, and his army was like "Wow! he landed on the sand first! We've got nothing to worry about now!" So they all jumped off, and sure enough the first dude that landed was the first to die.

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Odysseus and his baby boy Telemarketing 💕💕

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So there’s this cursed Odypen I did when Ithaca saga just came out. I think it was too cursed to post so I didn’t. But today I realized there is nothing too cursed for this platform apparently.