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When you’re suspicious of every meme you see thanks to a certain 2008 video game webcomic

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Some idiot put Plundered Blade of Northern Kings on the AH for 20k instead of 200k

MINE NOW, NERD

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I wanna do a longpost on the current state of BFA but I just can’t be assed to do it.

Game’s just got a lot wrong with it right now and there’s just so much to unpack that even I don’t wanna do it. I guess the big TLDR is that Blizzard bungled class design, didn’t carry over or expand upon enough good stuff from Legion and spread content so dangerously thin to pad out sub time that it’s blatantly obvious to anyone paying attention. I still have fun with it when I do challenging content like M+ and raids but damn it’s hard to give a shit outside of that.

Oh, big shoutout to whatever idiot decided blacksmiths can’t make 355 weapons by the way. Real nice to know that the profession built around making weapons gets a nice hard stop at gear just below what drops from heroic dungeons. Spectacular. I could do another longpost just on how absolutely fucked blacksmithing alone is but it can really be summed up as “Blizzard says fun is bad, you don’t get to make cool stuff anymore”, which really sums up BFA actually. They’re going to ridiculous levels to try and tell players exactly what they can do with the game and exactly how long they should do it in, because they’ll put it out piecemeal and that’s all you get til they say you can do more.

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WE IN IT - LET’S GO BOYS

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I’m actually really surprised at how many people play with War Mode on.

Every time I PUG a mythic+ or join a group at least half of them have it enabled. Granted that’s max level content but even leveling my alts with it enabled now I’m running into a good chunk of people once you reach the more faction-mixed zones like the Plaguelands and Outland. I always kinda figured no one would opt-in to world PVP if they had the choice not to out of fear of being ganked, but I guess being able to switch it on or off at basically a whim has its merits.

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IT’S BEAUTIFUL

WHY CAN’T STORMWIND LOOK LIKE THIS

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I agree with most of your opinions / theories about BFA but Gorak Tul is straight up dead ; we kill him when freeing Jaina from Thros / the Blightlands so he's probably not gonna come back for a raid.

Oh crap, you’re right. I thought we just beat the hell out of him on that quest and he pulled a disappearing act again. I should probably pay more attention when I do quests.

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BFA Red Hot Predictions™

-We’ll most likely see Azerite weapons drop from the last raid of this expansion. Either from the last boss as a kind of reward or just throughout the raid as a kind of capping point for our arcs as players and the Azerite system this expansion.

-People will absolutely cry for years about not getting the Azerite weapon they want.

-I doubt we’ll kill Azshara in her designated raid, or at the very least we won’t fight N’zoth. 

-People will bitch about Pathfinder and Allied Race requirements until the end of time.

-Bolvar might get involved down the line, either in this expansion or the next. Blizzard lacks subtlety and his daughter’s been introduced as a character so there’s no way Papa Lich King won’t be dragged back into the story somehow.

-The rest of the big power players from Legion, however, will remain neglected. Odyn apparently doesn’t give a shit about the world as much as he let on before because after all that effort we went through to free him from his prison, we’ll never see his ass again. Shame actually - I really liked Odyn as a character but Blizzard has a bad habit of pretending the previous expansion doesn’t exist going forward, with a handful of exceptions.

-That Drust idiot from Waycrest Manor will probably show up in his own ToV-sized placeholder raid to tide us over before a major patch.

-Blizzard will continue to cuck me for eternity by not giving me weapons better than 320 ilvl when I’m decked out in 335-340 in every other slot.

-Hunters will probably learn how to tame the wicker beasts from Drustvar in some fashion, probably through a quest chain they’ll introduce with the Kul’tiran allied race patch.

-We’ll never get an eyepatch cosmetic because that would be fun and a good use of the transmog appearance system, and God knows Blizzard won’t let us have that.

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So my friends and I found an interesting glitch over at Norwington Estate in Tiragarde Sound. If you ride a two-seater mount (literally any mount with vendors or multiple seats) and click the ridable horse there named Cooper, you’ll get dismounted and an NPC copy of Cooper will spawn next to you on follow. Naturally, we spammed the shit out of it and each ended up with as many Coopers as we felt like clicking at the time before heading out. Bear in mind, other players can see this, so we just kinda took Boralus by storm and clogged up anywhere we felt like being at the time. I didn’t take any screenshots when we got to the Alliance warship with Halford Wyrmbane and the mission table, but we absolutely started there before filling the streets, flight master and inn with hundreds of Coopers.

Now here’s the fun part - while the Coopers would disappear if we teleported ourselves, they wouldn’t disappear if we used taxi services, so naturally, we all got on the boat to Stormwind next. This is where we ran into the first snag though, since I don’t know how it works but you’ll lose about half your Coopers doing this if you go one person at a time and all of them if you all pile onto the boat. We went one at a time first just to see if we could even bring them to Stormwind. From there we kinda slowly regrouped due to two of us going at the same time and losing all but like ten Coopers, so we had to go back and restock and then come back to SW one at a time, which takes forever, but eventually we were filling the auction house and fountain in Trade District pretty heavily with Coopers.

Honestly this was the most fun I’ve had in BFA so far by a long shot. We drew in a crowd and turned heads wherever we went, and we got bombarded by tells and gossip in trade and local chat about us the entire time. After a while we all dispersed and went back to getting gear and questing but I decided to go back to Norwington and stock up on more Coopers for a parade in Boralus. People figured out what was going on pretty quickly and mounted up to join in the parade while we all RP walked up and down the main street in northern Boralus, from the flight master to the ramparts near the profession trainers.

I put the screenshots in backwards chronologically because I’m lazy and that’s how my WoW screenshots folder is categorized so fuck it. Also I think the amount of Coopers you can have caps out at fifty - I dunno if that’s a hard cap or if that’s just where I managed to conveniently stop summoning them in on, but due to how /follow works you end up with two even rows of 25 Coopers. They get a little fucky when you fly though, and end up magnetizing to rooftops and staying there for a bit until their AI corrects their pathing. I strongly suggest people do this before Blizzard patches it out for being too fun.

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Blizzard will have to hear “it’s gonna be an allied race right?” literally every time a new NPC race is introduced to the game forever now.

Like, six years from now when this game is still around for some reason, there’s gonna be like “those bears with the laser guns on that other timeline planet we got Warlock Arthas from are gonna be an allied race right?”, and that’s hilarious to me.

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WE TORTOLLANS LOOOOOOOOVE THE STORY OF LOH

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My least favorite part of every expansion is hitting level cap

Because I play a warrior and therefore get absolutely fucked by the max level mob scaling and the class’ overall reliance on having gear when you have nothing making the solo experience a literal hell where you need to blow all of your cooldowns every time you fight anything more than two small mobs. It’s just one of the shittiest experiences in WoW and every time it happens I just hate playing my class until I can get some gear and get out of that rut.

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The Biggest Perk to Playing a Warrior:

Saying “fuck you” to geography and world design by literally leaping up sheer cliff faces to avoid having to walk around a longer, less convenient route. That or avoiding fall damage by jumping even harder into the ground. Basically what I’m saying is Heroic Leap is the best ability in the game.

(I’ll do a longpost on my experience with BFA eventually, just having fun with it for now)

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Oh God Another fucking Scouting Map

Whatever happened to just having the quests and zones exist and players could go do them how they choose?

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tfw you don’t even care about the pre-expansion faction war stuff because the writing has gone entirely off the rails idiotic but hey here’s a cool hippogryph I guess

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blizzard writing the lore to literally any of their games