gothamcitylazarus

[gothamcitylazarus]

justicealwaysprevails‌:

Moments like these made Bruce wonder if either of them had learned anything from the past. There were so many disastrous moments to rehash, ones he’d sooner forget, and yet it seemed they were both set on repeating those mistakes. It didn’t help that he never learned how to talk to Jason effectively. He’d treated him with tough love, the same he’d shown to Dick, and assumed it would eventually get through to him. It hadn’t.

“You know why I’m here. This isn’t going to make you forget, and it isn’t going to bring him back.” Bruce had never been the sort to soften hard truths and he wasn’t going to tiptoe around the subject, not when Jason was using extreme avoidance as a means of coping. 

For a moment, when things were going well for Jason, it looked like they might be able to move forward, to move past the heartache and the anger, but now that Jason was backsliding outside of their relationship, he couldn’t find it in himself to put in the effort anymore. Whatever progress they had made in their relationship no longer counted, and perhaps Jason should have been more upset about that, but he didn’t even want to think about it. 

He pulled off his helmet, holding it in a gloved hand as he spoke to Bruce more clearly now. He didn’t care about the pretense of keeping the helmet on and he didn’t want Bruce to misunderstand him through the voice modulation and stoic mask. “I don’t need your help. I don’t need your advice. I don’t need you. And you don’t get to tell me what to do. Not anymore.” 

[gothamcitylazarus]

therapisttothedevil‌:

Aggression was rarely aimed at her with her patients. It was very often mis-directed toward her though and Linda was smart enough to know this was the case here. “Ahh, the ‘fuck you’ argument. We’re doing well,” she replied, her own tone more deadpan if anything, “And what do you need right now Jason? Because all the self-destructive symptoms you’re showing right now aren’t going to help you either.” he paused a moment, “You’re not just ‘someone’ you’re a person I care about, and right now you’re hurting. It’s not about what I can live with, it’s about what you can live with.” And he couldn’t keep on going like this.

Jason shook his head. “I can live with this. I’ve been living with all this—this shit for as long as I can remember. I’m going to be fine.” Roy leaving wasn’t even the worst thing that had happened to Jason, that was for sure—he was sure the abuse he suffered as a child came first, and his death at Joker’s hands was a close second. This was just the perfect maraschino cherry on top of a shit sundae and Jason had accepted that. His life was just meant to be a long series of failures, injuries and abandonments. 

[gothamcitylazarus]

littlebirdyblue‌:

She hadn’t planned to stick around if she didn’t get an answer, either because Jason wasn’t there or wanted her to fuck off. But he’d said something. That was all the invitation she needed. If he wasn’t being a recluse enough to flat out ignore her, she was going in.

“Everybody opens the door for Girl Scouts and I’ve got a sleeve of Thin Mints in my jacket.” She wasn’t actually lying about the cookies. As if to prove a point she pulled one out and stuck it in her mouth. “Are you gonna shoot me or move and let me in?”

Jason immediately regretted opening the door, but it was too late now to kick her out. Besides, of all the bats in this city, Harper was probably the only one he could tolerate at this point if only because he knew she wouldn’t start preaching at him. The rest of them were wont to do that sort of thing. 

“Hand ‘em over,” he said, reaching a hand out for the cookies. “Then I’ll let you in.” Jason honestly couldn’t remember the last time he ate. With the focus on his personal mission keeping his mind off the hunger and the cigarettes he chain-smoked killing his appetite, he barely even kept groceries in the house.

[gothamcitylazarus]

@limbitless liked for a starter!!

Jason worked alone. That was what he had been taught by Bruce, by Talia, by anyone who had ever trained him. It was better to be alone because the only person he could rely on, the only person he could trust, was himself. He had learned his lesson with Roy—now that he was gone, Jason had no reason to think that trusting someone was a good idea. He was done with that lark—even if he was intrigued by the other man’s ability. He cocked his head to the side, the gesture strange to watch because of his helmet. “Is it just arms, or can you grow, like, extra dicks and stuff too?” 

[gothamcitylazarus]

@blkmmb liked for a starter!!

Jason was quiet when he was rifling through Bruce’s pantry—Jason couldn’t remember the last time he had gone grocery shopping, and besides, he knew that Bruce wasn’t home—but apparently wasn’t quiet enough. He looked up to see a stranger standing near the stairs, and he tilted his head to the side. “You’re not Selina,” he remarked before looking back at the sandwich he was constructing. “Don’t make me shoot you and we’re not going to have a problem. Though, if you’re fucking Bruce, I highly recommend that you stop. That’s the definition of self-destructive behavior.” 

[gothamcitylazarus]

littlebirdyblue‌:

@gothamcitylazarus

When Harper found out Roy was gone, she’d expected Jason to go off the rails. So far that was spot on. She hadn’t even tried to track him down, which might have been kind of shitty but it’s not like she didn’t have five hundred other things going on. And everyone needed space. She didn’t want to invade his.

Someone eventually had to, though. She wasn’t sure if he was still living in the house. When she showed up, she half expected to find it empty.

Jason rarely spent time at the house, but the gun locker that he had outfitted in their closet contained most of his weapons. He couldn’t just abandon everything he had there. That home had too much functionality to it��a functionality he so desperately lacked in the shitty, empty apartment he was currently sleeping in. 

Upon hearing the sound of knuckles at the door, Jason’s first instinct was to approach the door as if his house was under siege, complete with a sidearm. He peeked out the window, the gun at his side, then scoffed when he realized who it was. He opened the door. “We’re not buying anything,” he commented dryly.

[gothamcitylazarus]

therapisttothedevil‌:

She froze at his words, Roy left… Well fuck. Linda sighed, letting out a breath she’d been holding. “Really? Important things like hiding behind that newspaper?” she asked, a hint of dryness in her tone as she took a seat next to him on the bench. “You’re right, this is something that you can’t change.” she nodded, taking a moment to pause, choosing her words very carefully, “But, you know what you can change, what you can control?” That was important to him, “You can control how you react to these changes in your life. You’ve come so far, don’t throw the people around you away; not when you need them most.”

“Yeah, so what if it is? Fuck you,” he said without conviction, dropping all pretense of reading. Jason rolled his eyes, shaking his head and looking at the ground by Linda’s feet instead of at her. “This is really not what I need right now,” he said quietly but emphatically. “Some pep talk is not going to pull me out of whatever shit I’m going through right now, so you can feel free to quit while you’re ahead. It’s not giving up. I’m just not someone you can fix and you’re going to have to live with that, not me.” 

[gothamcitylazarus]

masterofmagnetismx‌:

“It’s exactly what they’re already doing.” None of that was news to him. Whatever signature the gun had was irrelevant. All they would need were bodies to write any kind of narrative they wanted. They didn’t always wait for someone else to provide the bodies, either.

Erik pressed his lips together into a hard, thin line. The gun twisted in the air like it was on some kind of invisible display. “This is a coward’s weapon.” But it dropped to the ground with a clank a moment later. It was tempting to destroy it on principle.

“If you’re trying to high-ground me, I think this is evidence enough that I hate the cops as much as you do.” Growing up in Gotham had done that to him. The cops who covered his district’s beat were not known for their gentle touch. 

Jason shrugged. “Not everyone can control metal with their minds.” He winced as the gun hit the ground, though it wasn’t visible through his mask. “If you want me to go around getting into fisticuffs with NOVA agents, I can. This is just easier.”

[gothamcitylazarus]

goldenelixxir‌:

“Are you Quasimodo?” He vaguely recalled watching that cartoon and was pretty sure there were gargoyles in it. Probably singing ones. A memory better left as hazy as possible. Josh narrowed his eyes. “Come over here.” There was nothing wrong with the clinic. It had what it needed to have. Him, primarily.

“No, just alone and crazy,” he replied. Jason hoisted himself to his feet with a groan and made his way closer to Josh, leaning heavily against a table and managing to relax his sore muscles, if only for a moment before the ache came back. “I just need a good night’s sleep and I’ll be fine.” Jason had inherited this penchant for self-flagellation from Bruce for sure.

[gothamcitylazarus]

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[gothamcitylazarus]

masterofmagnetismx‌:

“Of course you weren’t.” Far too many had tried and failed for one single man to manage it, but surely that part went without saying. The gun floated down toward the two of them and hovered in the air like some morbid children’s mobile.

“I would encourage this,” he nodded toward the fallen NOVA agent, “if I didn’t know mutants wouldn’t be blamed for it. We don’t need someone making things more difficult.” And yet, even though that was true, Erik had absolutely no desire to save the lives of any NOVA agents.

Jason shrugged a shoulder. “They know the ballistics of this gun.” He pointed at the rifle. “Kind of a signature. I’m literally putting my name on it, so if they still blame mutants, I mean...they’ll do anything to blame everything on mutants.” He paused. “Now that I think about it, that’s what they’re already doing. It’s kind of fucked, huh?” 

He leaned back against the wall. “Can I have it back?” He gestured up at the hovering weapon. “It’s not like I can shoot you anyway, and it’s nice to hold.” He dropped his hand again, drumming against the brick facade with his fingertips. 

[gothamcitylazarus]

goldenelixxir‌:

“That’s a stupid reason, and I’m not offering you band-aids. If you’re going to sit in here like a gargoyle, I’m not letting you do it looking like that. People are going to think I don’t know what I’m doing.” That probably wasn’t true, but frankly he didn’t like to be around people in pain. He was acutely aware of it, it was distracting, and (as he’d just said)…stupid.

“My best friend was a gargoyle,” he said offhandedly, narrowing his eyes as he surveyed the rest of the clinic then looked back at Josh. “What are you offering? Because it doesn’t seem like there’s much to give around here,.”

[gothamcitylazarus]

amazingflyingdick‌:

Dick had been waiting outside Jason’s door for a little over two hours. Motorcycle helmet in hand, he paced back and forth in the hallway just outside his door, freezing in place the second he heard the ding of the elevator. He didn’t expect a warm welcome - and he wasn’t disappointed - but he grit his teeth and stepped in front of the door to block Jason from going inside. “Considering you’ve just seen and talked to me, then let’s consider that horse shot in the face.” The only reason he was there at all was because he knew Jason shouldn’t be alone. Even if it wasn’t his company he wanted, returning to an empty apartment after years of happiness wasn’t something anyone should have to face by themselves. “The way I see it, you have two options. Let me in and I’ll shut up, or you could lock me out and I’ll talk your ear off through the door.” 

Jason turned and started walking back away from his door, back out towards the street. “Or, third option, I run,” he called over his shoulder, already moving quickly away from Dick. He wasn’t interested in seeing anyone who might have even a shred of insight when it came to Jason’s life. That would be too painful. That would be too real. Jason wasn’t prepared to face the new realities of the life he was living. He had long used his anger and his capacity for violence to cope with overwhelming feelings, but even that wasn’t helping now. He had never felt so abandoned, hurt and lost. It only reminded him of what happened time and time again when he was a kid—only proved that he poisoned everything good. 

[gothamcitylazarus]

justicealwaysprevails‌:

It didn’t take long for the news to reach Bruce. He’d been deeply disappointed that something that had become a driving, positive force in Jason’s live, something that had grounded him, was ripped away without warning. Jason had never allowed anyone else close enough to be that presence - for good reason, although this incident would surely put a damper on any future hope of change. 

“Grounding you never did any good.” It wasn’t for lack of trying. Bruce’s clumsy attempts at being strict with Jason had always backfired and generated mistrust. Punishment wasn’t an effective communication tool with Jason; he’d never had time to figure out an alternative way of handling him. 

Jason shrugged a shoulder. “You look like you’re ready to try. You were never really that good at learning lessons. Guess that’s where I got it.” Jason leaned back against the wall behind him, looking far too lackadaisical for the situation he was in. He really did seem like a petulant teenager again, and he had a lot of reasons to be acting that way. His personal turmoil had seemingly thrown his personality back in time to when he was 18 and full of hate. 

“What are you here for?” he asked. He knew that in all likelihood, Bruce was going to try and stop him—in fact, he was sure of it. He pressed his lips together for a moment, trying to control the anger that was already rising to the surface. “You never make this much of an effort.”

[gothamcitylazarus]

therapisttothedevil‌:

Body language, word choice, brief eye-contact, active isolation and the list went on. Two words and Linda was already drawing several connections that were setting off red flags and worrying conclusions. “Well that’s a bare-faced lie.” she told him dryly, “And I won’t bother going into how I know that. Jason, what’s happened? We’ve had this conversation before; when you most want to stay away is you need to come and see me, hiding from whatever’s happened isn’t going to make it better.” Honestly, this boy emotional maturity was questionably at best… Though he’d been through more than enough to cause that and then some.

Jason knew that she was probably reading him like he was an open book and he hated the idea. He wanted to be unknowable like he used to be, completely withdrawn from everyone else and protected by his isolation. He regretted ever opening up. Jason looked up. “Roy left. He took Lian. I have shit going on.” He leaned forward against the table. “I have things I have to do and I don’t want to waste time sitting in your office talking about things I can’t change.” 

[gothamcitylazarus]

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◆ ◆   (   AN  ASSORTED  SENTENCE  STARTER  PACK. 

❝ Of course it hurts, it’s a spanking. How else would it work? ❞

❝ The only reason we die, is because we accept death as an inevitability. ❞

❝ If I knew what I was so anxious about, I wouldn’t be so anxious. ❞

❝ I am the excuse you give when you cannot follow the rules. ❞

❝ You are the shuckiest shuck faced shuck in the world! ❞

❝ I’m about as intimidating as a butterfly. ❞

❝ You and what army could possibly rescue her from my clutches? ❞

❝ You look better in my clothes than I do. ❞ 

❝ We’re searching for things we should be running from. ❞

❝ When it’s cold, I’d like to die. ❞

❝ The world is full of unrequited love. ❞

❝ Maybe love and pain are synonyms. ❞

❝ I would rather be strong at heart than strong at mind. ❞

❝ We are all just dead air. ❞

❝ Now you got us whammied with the curse of squirmy death.. ❞

❝ If it doesn’t sweat, jiggle, or pant, it’s not alive. ❞

❝ I love glitter, I’m not a quitter. ❞

❝ I have never met anyone who didn’t like gargoyles. ❞

❝ People who always arrive early aren’t worth waiting for. ❞

❝ Look up, always. Look back, never. ❞

❝ In order to do the unthinkable, do not think about it. ❞

❝ Funny how you’re dead, people starting listening. ❞

❝ I can’t save you unless you save me, too.. ❞

❝ Well, if there’s anything worse than a whore it’s a bore. ❞

❝ Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode. ❞

❝ Everything’s just fucking Disney with you. ❞

❝ I think you’re maybe reaching for something that doesn’t exist. ❞

❝ I’m so scared of commitment that I even hate stickers! ❞

❝ Kindness, motherfucker, kindness. ❞

❝ I haven’t even caught your name or your number. ❞

❝ Oh, the dilemmas of a teenage psychic. ❞

❝ Party at in my mind, you’re place sucks. ❞

❝ You want to kiss me, don’t you? ❞

❝ You could have had anything else in the world, and you asked for me. ❞

❝ Bloodthirsty little beasts. Never trust a duck. ❞

❝ I’m beginning to think I should make that the title of my autobiography. ❞

❝ Another thing I don’t want on my tombstone. ❞

❝ I’m going to try not to make an ass of myself. ❞

❝ You’re on fire. You do know that don’t you? ❞

❝ If you answered no, please exit the building. ❞

❝ You’re still mad, I can feel it through the phone. ❞

❝ If I had a dollar for every time you said that, I would be rich. ❞

❝ Murder is all around me, striking everyone except me. ❞

❝ Give me one good reason why I should believe you. ❞

❝ Since when does that mean you have to kiss my ass? ❞

❝ I’m not saying you shouldn’t have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. ❞

❝ I think it’s time you flipped this little scenario in your head. ❞

❝ The road to Hell is paid with good intentions. ❞

❝ Trust starts with truth and ends with truth. ❞

❝ I will look for powdered donuts in the wilderness. ❞

❝ Love is not selective, just as the light of the sun is not selective. ❞

❝ I don’t know how to tell you what I feel. ❞

❝ I think the word for how you usually are is ‘reckless’. ❞

❝ Gratitude builds a bridge to abundance. ❞

❝ Scars are just another kind of memory. ❞

[gothamcitylazarus]

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