gorillathinks

[gorillathinks]

Gleam. . Star Date 2016.336 . It’s been six days since the last time I wrote about grinding through adversity. I haven’t cleared the forest, so to speak. But the positive here is that I’ve managed about a week battling the demons. I got some bad news this past week, so, that didn’t help. But I’m still here. Still grinding out in the dirt. It feels easier today. It feels that maybe, just maybe, I might finally be rounding out this state I’m in. Perhaps I’m finally at a point where I’m within the vicinity of being at a point where the light at the end of the tunnel is almost visible. Almost. Today was good. I will take that and hang on. Who knows, one day turns to two, turns to three, turns to a week and then: you’re back in the swing of things. To anyone reading this: hold on. Just, fucking, hold on. I took it a moment at a time. and now, I had one day. You will too. And you build off that. Remember the Chinese proverb: The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. As I said last week, take it one moment, one minute, one hour and one day at a time. With that said, here’s a #tbt to at least two years ago. The light cracking through is, as last week, very apropos. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #blackandwhite #monochrome #minimal #blackandwhitephotography #minimalism #mood (at Toronto Pearson International Airport)

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Glimmer. . Star Date 2016.330 . Everyone goes through the grinder of life. Whatever your grind may be, I try (unsuccessfully lately) to remind myself that suffering builds character. That one must survive this in order to come out stronger in the end. That through sheer will and grit, one can outlast whatever demons that haunt them. I've been dealing with them for a while now. It's been at least 2 months. But I'm here. I'm grinding through this. And if you're reading this and are in a fucked up place in your universe, you can battle it too. Fear, anger, anxiety, sadness, guilt. The whole fucking lot. Take it 1 day at a time. 1 hour at a time. 1 moment at a time. Take the time to say "fuck you" to all the demons. And will yourself to push on. Because darkness never quits. And so it's only fitting that we must never, ever, quit to seek the light. Here's a #flasbackfriday to a day when the late afternoon sun shone through a very rainy, summer day. Seems appropriate for my situation. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #sunshine #hope #motivation #sunset #afternoon #trees (at Ajax, Ontario)

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GTI Cult. . Star Date 2016.322 . Amongst the cars that elicit a cult following, my own personal car belongs in that category. Of course, my car isn’t the only one. One of them is the Volkswagen (VW for short) Golf GTI. As always, to the uninformed, I urge you to google the car. Suffice it to say, it is one of the O.G.s of the “hot hatch”. Again, google “hot hatch” if you’re lost. The GTI has always been one of those cars I've lusted after. I wanted one when I was 15 years old. I very nearly bought one when I was buying my WRX. I didn’t. There are numerous of reasons as to why. Reasons, that - in the grand scheme of things - do not matter. Anyhow, what makes the GTI so cool, and hence achieve cult status, is that here is a car that is very practical to live with on a day to day basis, is relatively affordable to buy and keep, and is genuinely fun to drive. There aren’t many cars like that. There are plenty of fun cars that are affordable but impractical; Fun cars that are practical but unaffordable are also aplenty; Practical cars that are affordable but not terribly fun are also abound. But a car that achieves that trifecta of being fun, affordable, and, practical. Now those are few and far between. Here’s a real #tbt to over 2 years ago when I spotted this GTI parked and looking ever so cool. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #iphonesia #potd #blackandwhite #blackandwhitephotography #vw #volkswagen #gti #bnw #car #carporn (at Scotiabank)

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Storm Trooping a Pumpkin. . Star Date 2016.317 . I carved (or help carve, rather) my very first pumpkin this past #halloween. Initially, I wanted a traditional jack-o-lantern. However, I found a stencil for a Storm Trooper. Now I am a bit of a Star Wars fanatic. So, naturally, my first choice went right out the window. I must say, for a first timer, the pumpkin turned out well. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #pumpkin #stormtrooper #starwars (at Ajax, Ontario)

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Black 'N White Rex. . Star Date 2016.309 . I got nominated for #blackandwhitechallenge by @teunis_wrx. Took longer than needed to come up with this picture because: A) I couldn't find a good shot and B) it's been a difficult week. Nevertheless, I have produced. I thought about tagging people to continue the challenge but I'm honestly drawing a blank. That's probably because it's 0230HRS EST and I can't think beyond what I'm writing. I went over a week without a post so here's a #flashbackfriday to a month into my ownership of the WRX. Damn I love this car. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #iphonesia #potd #car #carporn #subaru #wrx #6ixSubies #TeamSubaru15Canada #CanadianSubies #fbf #blackandwhitephotography #blackandwhite (at Brampton, Ontario)

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Ajo Elephante. . Star Date 2016.301 . What you see above are cloves of elephant garlic. Yes. I didn’t know such a thing existed. Apparently it’s not a true garlic, but a variety of leek. I find that fascinating. If you’ve never seen an elephant garlic, picture a regular bulb of garlic the size of an onion. It’s massive. I actually took a picture of a regular clove of garlic but the picture actually never ended up looking good. That, and the fact that I was too lazy to try to get a better shot. Anyhow, I was so impressed by “discovering” the elephant garlic that I had to buy it. Ended up using it in a Spanish garlic soup (Sopa De Ajo); which, by the way, people have to try because it’s absolutely delicious. Google the recipe, I’m sure you’ll find one that’s to your liking. I am running out of things to say because, like last week, my mind is kinda elsewhere. So yea, bye. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #garlic #food #foodporn #massive #foodstagram #foodpics #giant (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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Pleiades. . Star Date 2016.287 . The word Subaru is Japanese for the Pleiades star cluster. Pleiades is also known as the Seven Sisters, one of whom - tradition says - is hidden. Hence the logo of the car company Subaru is the star cluster. But why the Pleiades? Because Subaru is owned by Fuji Heavy Industries which at the time comprised of six different companies that included the automobile division. Hence the name Subaru. I did not know this little bit of trivia until I owned a Subaru and decided to look into the history of the car company. I found the thought process behind the name fascinating. At least, I find it so. Anyhow, I’ve been experiencing a bit of a block when it comes to blogging again. But I will try to push through it. Here’s a #tbt to when I first got my Rex and took a shot of the wheel. The wheel design - up close - looks like a star that kinda highlights the logo. I found the shot OK until I started messing with Prisma. I don’t know if I’ll use Prisma more often, but here, it turned out to my liking. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #car #carporn #subaru #wrx #6ixSubies #TeamSubaru15Canada #prisma #blackandwhite #enkei #wheels (at Krispy Kreme Doughnuts)

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Autumn/Fall. . Star Date 2016.280 . Why is autumn known as fall in Canada and the U.S.? I know autumn is called fall because its the season when the leaves “fall”, but I mean really, why not just call it autumn rather than fall? Or maybe fall makes more sense and the rest of the world has it wrong. Perhaps. Now that I think about it (I’ve been thinking about this for 20 minutes as of this writing), I personally don’t think there is a right answer. Or maybe because it's 3:00 AM and I'm fucking tired and can't think quite straight. Anyhow, here’s a #tbt to a quintessential picture that I think captures autumn quite well. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #autumn #fall #nature #natureporn #nature_perfection #naturephotography (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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Casper at night. . Star Date 2016.273 . As a petrol-head, there are certain car brands that elicit a cult-like following. If you’re a petrol-head, you know exactly what I mean. If you are not a petrol-head and you’re reading this, well; in a certain way, I’m almost jealous of you. That’s because you don’t suffer from the same obsessions of a rather expensive hobby as I do. But I digress. Without making this post too long, too all non-petrol-heads, I give you just one such car: Subaru WRX and STI. Again, for anyone that doesn’t know these cars: google it. You’ll learn most of what you need to know. The car has a fanatical following. And as an owner, I now fully understand why. I’ve “drank the kool-aid” so to speak, and it is delicious! A very positive side effect of owning a car with a following is you get to meet and become friends with other owners. I have been fortunate enough to know a bunch of very cool people as a direct result of owning my car. I met one them last week. And he promptly reminded me that I have not posted a half decent shot of the Rex. I promised him I would this week. So, @teunis_wrx, this #tbt is for you. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #car #carporn #subaru #wrx #6ixSubies #TeamSubaru15Canada #turbo #flat4 #subie #subienation #rex #subielove (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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Spaghetti. . Star Date 2016.266 . The first time I saw spaghetti, it was in a cartoon. You see, where I'm from (Pakistan), spaghetti is not a common food item. However, as I got older (and moved around the planet), I did, finally, got the chance to discover (and fall in love with) Italian food. Specifically pasta. Pasta, specifically spaghetti was something that I couldn't have when I was a kid because, well, we just didn't know what it was. When I finally had it, it was as delicious as I thought. I suppose it's that feeling of "unattainable" that ensures that I always have a bag of pasta in the house. Because if there isn't anything to eat, I can always have some simple spaghetti. That's what this #tbt is about. The time there wasn't anything to eat. So I made some spaghetti aglio e olio. It was delicious. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #pasta #foodporn #food #foodstagram #foodie #spaghetti #italy #homecooking (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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Day Two. . Star Date 2016.258 . It's the second day of Eid Al-Adha. For anyone that knows what I mean, Eid Mubarak to you and your families. For everyone that doesn't know, Google Eid Al-Adha and you'll know most of what you need to know. I haven't posted the requisite celebratory post because, quite honestly, I didn't have the time. And now that I'm posting on day 2, it seems a little more interesting for me to commemorate Eid on its second day. Why? Because EVERYONE posts up and talks about Eid on day 1, but by day 2 and especially by day 3, it's more or less forgotten. So I'm saying Eid Mubarak on day 2 to remind myself that it's actually a 3 day event. Here's another old picture from an #Eid #BBQ. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #eidaladha #foodporn #food #foodstagram #foodie #eidmubarak

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Head Fuzz. . Star Date 2016.252 . I am experiencing a case of "writer's block". I put quotations around that because it's not as if I'm some writer. I'm not. I'm just someone typing my thoughts away on a phone and posting it up here for all to read. Writers are people that have actually learned about literature and how to properly take what's happening in their mind to a format where people can read and make sense of it. I, am not that type of person. I do this purely as a form of therapy. I do, of course, check and re-check what I've written so that it comes across as a coherent thought where I hope someone that reads this will understand what I'm going on about. At least that's the intention. In any case, I'm having a hard time thinking of something to write about other than writing about not being able to come up with something to write about. I think this is how I managed to go a year without posting the last time. With that in mind, here's a #tbt to the time I was about as lost in my head. I feel this picture illustrates how when one is feeling a wee bit lost and looks up and tries to make out what's really going on in their head. At least that's what I think. I should stop. Bye. . . . . #igers #igdaily #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #mississauga_igers #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #home #ohcanada #sky #abstract #minimal #minimalism #lost (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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Seventeen Years. . Star Date 2016.245 . Today is 17 years since I first came to Canada. Seventeen years. When I first came to this country, I honestly thought I'd be here maybe 3 years and move back to the Middle East. But now, I've been here longer than all other countries I've lived in, combined. At this point, every other country I've lived in is merely a point time rather than a place that was home. Canada is home now. Because I've spent a majority of my life here, this is where I've essentially put my roots. I've gone from a teenager, to a young - fucked up - adult, to an adult here. It's a strange feeling. I feel at times that I'm just here waiting for the opportunity to move elsewhere on this planet. But then, with so much time spent in this amazing country, I keep thinking: why would I want to move anywhere else? I've realized that I genuinely love being here. Being a Canadian is a privilege. Being Canadian is an identity that I've embraced, with more ease than I thought. Being Canadian, has genuinely been an incredible experience. Thank you, Canada, for being my home. Another #tbt to the time the sun was perfectly behind the #flag. BTW, because I've been away for so long, most of the pictures I post will be throwbacks. . . . . #igers #igdaily #canada #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #igdaily #canada #igcanada #igerscanada #ig_worldclub #ig_americas #igcapturesclub #iphonesia #potd #home #ohcanada #sun #sky (at Pickering, Ontario)

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A Year Later. . Star Date 2016.239 . When you've not posted something in over a year, you more or less lose your method. That is, the process in which you post a picture and - in my case - write a blog. It's not that I did not have pictures to take. I did. It's just that with time passing, it became more and more challenging to come up with something I write about. Then when it came to posting, I kept trying I come up with an explanation as to why I was "away". Then, I just cut myself off from Instagram altogether just to say "fuck it, this is not a priority". And now, well, fuck it, I feel like posting. Yes I haven't posted in a year. Yes there is a reason. And no I am not gonna explain. Why? Because I don't have to, and because to explain would take way too long. In fact, this blog is beginning to seem a bit long. Anyway, here's a #tbt to the first day I got my very first brand new car. . . . . . #mississauga #igers #igdaily #canada #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #iphone #car #carporn #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #subaru #wrx #subaruwrx #subie #turbo #boxer #subarunation #subarulove #6ixsubies #flat4 #boost (at Mississauga, Ontario)

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A year’s absence

Star Date 2016.60

I haven’t posted anything here in just over a year. That is not because there wasn’t anything to write about. Far from it. I just did not have the time and/or the inclination to write something. 

I feel like the last paragraph is something I have written before. So in the interest of trying to be somewhat original, let me try and recap the last year.

In the last year I have learnt that I will become a father. I went to Las Vegas. I went through another big bout with my depression. I realized I enjoy working at my current job as well as my co-workers there. I attended a friend’s wedding. I have watched a bunch of movies and shows I should have reviewed but haven’t. I spent new year’s eve in a theatre with my heavily pregnant partner watching a film as the clock struck midnight. I had my first child. And right now I am in the midst of paternity leave. That is, I have taken time off from work to spend time with my newborn.

If you have been living under a rock, then a lot has happened in the world-at-large. I do not have the mental capacity, or the wherewithal to recall everything. Suffice it to say that today the world is a tad bit different from this time last year. If you are wondering about the past year, you should stop reading this right now and read the news. I am sure you’ll be up to speed on everything. And I’m sure you’ll come to the conclusion that he world is still as bat-shit crazy as it was before.

So why blog now? Well, for starters, I actually have the time to do this. That, plus the fact that I wish to do something that doesn’t require money (pat leave pays very, VERY little money) is a huge plus. Also, a friend actually suggested I should start a blog today. To that suggestion I realized that I do, indeed have a blog. It just needs to be brought up to date. So that explains this post. 

I will return with something else to write about. For now, I just wanted to say hello. I have a baby to look after right this moment.

Cheers!

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Monday Late. Star Date 2015.46 I have not posted in 4 weeks. Thankfully, I did not disappear like last time. A bit has happened since then. I have blogged more in the last 4 weeks than Instagrammed. Mind you, that's not saying much seeing as how I've only put up 2 posts on the Tumblr page. But nonetheless, I have blogged more. I have been way too preoccupied with life to try and work at taking pictures. I must try harder. I will try harder. For those of you that are interested in my blogs (I think you're all nuts to find what I have to say interesting), My tumblr page will be more regularly updated with the blogs. I haven't been as inspired to capture as I'd like. #mississauga_igers #ig_worldclub #igers #igdaily #igerscanada #toronto #canada #instapic #instagood #instamood #instadaily #instalike #picoftheday #photooftheday #igersoftheday #iphoneonly #iphonesia #potd #vsco #vscocam #vscogram #vscogood #vscophile #abstract #monday #rain #raindrops (at Heartland Town Centre)

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A Late Mourning