godmutt

[godmutt]

i’ve wasted my life running away from myself

a breath of life, clarice lispector / 14 lines from love letters or suicide notes, doc luben / the archer, taylor swift / close to the knives: a memoir of disintegration, david wojnarowicz / portrait of fyderyck in shifting light, richard siken / how to never stop being sad, dandelion hands / holly warburton / the torn up road, richard siken / soda, nothing but thieves / extracting the stone of madness, alejandra pizarnik

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fuck you fuck you fuck you

theres no place for me in this world

you just see me as a nuisance

and i dont blame you

as ive given up on communication entirely.

I am so patient with you

but i dont want to be anymore

where is my patience?

or my kindness?

huh?

lately it feels like

i put my pen down for you

because i am scared of what you think of me

because your opinion holds so much weight

that the man in line behind us can feel it

and feels the need to say something

i want to pick my pen up

and draw despite you.

do you think I'm cruel?

i think you gave up on me.

and i don't know why

do you know how it feels to be abandoned?

would you like to?

you no longer have the privilege

of access to my ugly heart.

i don't want to see yours either.

[godmutt]

Jamie Varon - Does The Universe Fight For Souls To Be Together? / I dont feel like going on anymore - DEADCITIZEN / Kiss - Mannequin Pussy / Loneliness and Social Isolation — Tips for Staying Connected - the NIH National Institute on Aging / The hedgehog’s dilemma wikipedia article / Plumslices

[godmutt]

1.dorothy kunhart, pat the bunny // 2. // 3. mitski, a pearl, art by @hauntedomens // 4.hieu minh nguyen, buffet etiquette // 5.art from pinterest // 6.christa wolf tr. by jan van heurck, cassandra: a novel and four essays // 7.extracurricular (2020) dir.kim jin min // 8.louise bourgeois, destruction of the father/reconstruction of the father: writings and interviews 1923-1997 // 9.alice osman, radio silence // mitski, fireworks, art by uol.art (on insta)

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who am i to you

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sadness is a sport and i'm an athlete

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Good Bones/Maggie Smith (s) 

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we are swimming in a shared fire that will never go out

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no more safe spaces just like u wanted lol :)

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Based on a question 3/11/21

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 E. M. Cioran, On the Heights of Despair

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had my first psychotic break last nite 0_o uh oh!

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[godmutt]