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[gneissmica]

Shutdown Cheetos

Your Kentucky Derby horse name is:

A symptom of one of your mental illnesses + the last thing you ate

I'll go first: Mood Swings Macaroon

[gneissmica]

[gneissmica]

So I like this guy. A lot. It took me awhile to admit that I like him this much, because last serious relationship I was in, when it ended, it hurt so, so much and I am terrified to get hurt like that again. 

Fucking. TERRIFIED.

So I find this guy attractive and it’s been a long while since I’ve gotten laid, and we’re friends and I trust him, and he’s definitely attracted to me, and we end up fwb. Which is great and all, but then he does stuff like forehead kisses. And handholding. Long hours of snuggling watching movies. 3-hour-long phone calls talking about human nature and space travel and the lore of Middle Earth. Telling me I’m beautiful. 

And where before, he was a trusted friend that I was sexually attracted to, now I’m developing a romantic attraction as well. 

I don’t even know what would change, if we were in a serious relationship. My serious relationships tend to look a lot like my friendships, because that’s where they always start and I make nurturing that connection a priority because it’s important that I LIKE the people I’m with, that I enjoy activities with them, that we have fun with our hobbies, that we can be silly together. What would I like to see change? I want to message him “Good morning, gorgeous” when I wake up and have him see it and smile when he wakes up later. I want to tell him I’m thinking of him when we’re apart. I want to occasionally fall asleep snuggled up in his arms and wake up and kiss his forehead gently while he sleeps before I get up to make coffee. 

I want to not feel obligated to mute the intensity of whatever I feel for him. I want to just let myself feel whatever comes. 

Right now, our lives aren’t in a place where a serious relationship is a good idea. And I’m kind of ok with that. I’m able to be patient, which is not a thing that comes easily to me. Usually, I get wrapped up in the realization that good things don’t last, and any time spent waiting increases the likelihood of a long list of never-going-to-happens, a list of things that I had looked forward to, that reality cut off before they could happen. 

But he likes me, and he’s so open and direct in how he communicates that it doesn’t leave me guessing, doesn’t leave me trying to be a mind reader while I worry that he’s already checked out and just  hasn’t told me yet. 

This dude is a whole ass bucket of green flags and I’m looking forward to seeing how things develop. 

[gneissmica]

People with insomnia, reblog and put in the tags what helps you wake up early in the morning despite falling asleep really late the night before.

[gneissmica]

jojo siwa is like. her style is not my taste at all but as soon as other people call it annoying im like actually you're wrong she's an icon and a legend

[gneissmica]

[gneissmica]

something about the wave of Alfred Molina thirst makes me think of that "Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny" essay. shan't elaborate right now but give me a moment.

[gneissmica]

X

[gneissmica]

Arby’s tastes like middle school cafeteria food.

Okay reblog with what fast food chain you hate (don’t say Chipotle because rhey are homophobic or whatever it has to be petty/and or silly maybe you hate the food or uniforms or whatever)

[gneissmica]

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Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

[gneissmica]

Deadpool’s instructive video may save your testicles

[gneissmica]

https://t.co/tQNM37KsB0

[gneissmica]

If they just let people burn the goat it wouldn't be a good ritual sacrifice. People that burn the goat are legitimately risking jailtime but they do it anyway. That's what makes the goatburning so powerful.

[gneissmica]

[gneissmica]

i see the younglings post things like "are you still on tumblr at 30?" and "go take care of your kids instead of reading fics"

and i just feel sad

because you have a bunch of young people who are terrified of getting older.

they think age is going to change them, into something boring, something different, something grey.

and i just want to tell them, reassure them:

you will still be the same person.

isn't it wonderful?

you will love the things you love for so many years. you will find joy in the same things, decade after decade. you will feel the same inside, through all this time.

yes, the body will change. yes there's more responsibilities, less time, even less energy.

but there's no magical age where you stop enjoying that specific story, that specific game, that specific hobby.

but you know what also comes with age?

you have less fucks to give.

[gneissmica]