glorfindude

[glorfindude]

Maglor? More like Faglor am i right???

*I am formally escorted out of The Gap*

[glorfindude]

Maglor? More like Faglor am i right???

*I am formally escorted out of The Gap*

[glorfindude]

Sauron: What’s your biggest fear?

Morgoth: I am incredibly arachnophobic.

Sauron, under his breath: You don’t want spiders to get married?

[glorfindude]

Maglor: I don't know why I'm so thirsty, I had so much to drink today! I had a gatorade! With electrolytes!

Elrond: what else?

Maglor: an energy drink, two cocktails, half a soda - ok I'm seeing the problem now ‐

[glorfindude]

Watching LOTR yet again and while I lovelovelove the way Rivendell is designed, it's gorgeous and harmonious with nature and undeniably *Elvish*, one thing has always bothered me. There are no doors. Anywhere. At all.

What are you supposed to do if you need to have a pee? Or jerk it? Or hell, what if it's just hella windy outside? Or what about the wildlife? Is Elrond's dwelling just like infested with possums or what?

[glorfindude]

So apparently my most controversial lotr take is that this Elrond hairstyle isn’t even bad and they just needed to throw thicker hair extensions at the front of it to fix it

Look he can even keep the butterfly clip

[glorfindude]

Sweets and treats are all the nutrients a princess needs

[glorfindude]

Given Elrond's mother, the bird metaphor is apt!!

Elrond and Erestor both have developed the habit of sitting crouched under their desks when they feel overwhelmed with the stress of being in charge of everything. Lindir figured this out very early on and pinned a small parcel of sweets to the underside of their desks with notes that read "thank you for taking care of this place". Both elves have kept the notes.

100% agreed, Lindir is truly the best and I just know his little gifts made their day 🙏🏽

My personal Elrond headcanon is that he’s a weird little health nut. Not a fitness influencer, mind you, more one of those cute little middle aged TikTok doctors who make informational videos about healthy eating and vegetables. Guy fully believes in having 5 different colours on your plate. Dye in sweets send him into a tizzy. The Imladris children are not allowed juice after 5. Buddy tried to implement a prohibitive tax on processed sugar until Celebrían threatened to shove an entire chocolate bar up his ass.

So when Lindir notes this, he replaces his bags of sweets in Elrond’s study with little paper bags of nuts and sunflower seeds. Freeze dried carrot sticks. Salted popcorn. It’s like laying out a seed table for the little bird that pokes about your garden each morning (except you suck his dick as well ig).

[glorfindude]

You do not understand how important Glorfindel is to me

I NEED to put him in the exposed bed of a truck that goes through the car wash.

Oh im Sorry did Ecthelion just forget you were back there? Why did you want untill you were i the wash before you started banging on the class door??

[glorfindude]

Celebrimbor is both Fantasy Oppenheimer™ and resident catboy twink in the same breath and i think that's beautiful actually

[glorfindude]

This was $5 at a local grocery store. I have created a new holiday tradition I fear...

[glorfindude]

The fact that the three elements represented here (Air, Fire, and Water) are also represented in the three elven Rings of Power really gurs different now huh?

Feanor's silmarils 🤝 Elrond's dads

One in the airs of heaven, and one in the fires of the heart of the world, and one in the deep waters

[glorfindude]

See I agree that the twins would add bud light to The Shot™ but they would not drink the bud light's. No these checklefucks would bring a six pack if the Mike's hard black cherry and split it between the two of them.

(also Fingon drinks peanut butter whiskey and I will not elaborate)

Hey, so you know those videos of people pouring various drinks (mostly alcoholic but not always) into a mixer without knowing what anybody else has put in it already and then turning it into shots? Yeah the Fëanorians do that.

I have put way too much thought into this and so:

Maglor: A bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild, a wine described as “medium to full-bodied, supple and seamless, with an effortlessly elegant, harmonious profile and a long, fragrant finish”, currently retailing at £35,000 per bottle.

Curufin: A bottle of Bailey’s — an Irish cream liqueur made of cream, cocoa and Irish whiskey emulsified together with vegetable oil.

Caranthir: a bottle of a strange, cloudy moonshine which, on further questioning, turns out to have been banned in most of Middle Earth for quite literally having a body count.

Ambarussa: 4 cans of Bud Light, purchased on a discount. The crate initially had 6 cans, but they each took one as “tax for the entertainment value of our presence at the party”.

Celegorm: a small juice box. When the rest of them get on his ass for not contributing equally, he gives them a lecture on nutrition until they leave him be for the sake of their own sanity.

Maedhros: hand sanitizer.

[glorfindude]

Day #152 - Ponder

Day number 4,408 of sitting on the beach. The crabs think I'm one of them now.

[glorfindude]

Billionaire down!!!! UnitedHealthcare is super predatory, they utilized AI that falsely denied 90% of doctor approved claims, they lobbied against the ACA, they fuck over people regularly, they're shady as fuck. "Police do not know why" oh yeah sure keep telling yourself that

[glorfindude]

all my haters become tomaters in my lovely summer garden

[glorfindude]

Heraldry - Fëanárions

-----

Fëanáro (Fëanor)

Nerdanel

Maitimo (Maeðros)

Macalaurë (Maglor)

Tyelcormo (Celegorm)

Carnistir (Caranthir)

Curufinwë (Curufin)

Telperinquar (Celebrimbor)

Ambarto (Amrod)

Ambarussa (Amras)