#OP I am biting on the bars of YOUR enclosure | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

epersonae · 1 year ago

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ok, so. @emi--rose took the 58 page google document of tags (etc) copied from the notes on this post (approx Sept 14 2022 - June 25 2023) - pulled out all the cruft, usernames, purely organizational tags (WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST TAGGING THIS #gif OR WHATEVER), did some Thematic Analysis and came up with a categorization of tags. list at the top, the full madness of it all below the cut. Thank you Emi for your service, I kept getting lost in the sauce trying to organize my thoughts/these tags, much like people getting hypnotized by the gifs themselves.

also, thank you to the Usual Suspects for the most delightfully wild discussion yesterday of this gifset and our reactions to it. "jungian archetype" and "Elemental Plane of Horniness" indeed.

finally, thank you to the op for this amazing gift and for changing our lives (no I'm not kidding).

Themes!

Licking/Biting

Calling him a slut

Deranged horniness

Regular horniness

Absurdist horniness (there was a LONG discussion of deranged vs absurdist, and the overlap)

The Bit

Existential Crisis

Confusion

Being personally victimized/Anger

Tuesday/Calendar

Dunking on Jeremy Renner

Impure thoughts about Rita Ora

Tits

Unintentional hypnotism/fixation

Inflicting this on other people

And then the long list, which warning: VERY LONG. (like, 10 pages in GDocs long)

If you have any disagreements with how tags are assigned to themes, go yell at @emi--rose :D

Categories/Themes:

Licking/biting

#we don't have any snacks aside from the highly detailed sensory landscape of imagining what it would be like to lick that nipple #but that can also be nourishing if you do it right i#hey bro your nipple looks cold lol if you need somewhere to keep them warm my mouth is always an option ahaha just saying#i mean what #prev i want to say same but i was never breastfed so can’t relate#but yes. Nip #:licks: #i need to lick #i want to lick him#i mean 👀👀👀👀 #i don't think i've ever needed to lick a nipple so much in my life???#the hand over the groin too tho #still looks like a banana costume#but also i want to bite him #taika your tit is out and i'm gonna bite it#*chomp* #I know there's a million and one fics about this but#what do you think that nipple tastes like? #i am hyperfocused and i need to suck it #oh i want his boobs in my mouth so badly #i am chomping on that nipple like a horse#is that to much? whatever#its christmas im allowed to

Calling him a slut

#god bless that absolute slut of a man #whore (x2) #king slut 🕳️🚶‍♀️✌️ #he's such a slut 💕 #hussy#slut even #....................whore #my god what a whore

Deranged horniness

#always wild to go back and find out what unhinged tags I put last time I reblogged this #posh sexy banana taika #you know how when you sweat in something made of polyester and it just always smells like sweat afterwards#this jumpsuit is still out there somewhere#just a time capsule of taika sweat smell #do you know that video of a hamster first sniffing and then biting that dude’s nipple? yeah. #i am on my knees suckling at his titty like a baby cow #i have a complete sensory experience of this tracksuit in my head#due to all the imagining ripping it off him #do you ever consider the noises that this polyester tracksuit would make#just swish swish swish #blast from the past#sweaty nipple taika gifset#did I hand out buttons with this image on them at ECCC??#MAYBE SO #i would fucking eat him alive #h. hello#👁👄👁#*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!!!

Regular horniness

#looking disrespectfully #i miss his curls#bring those BACK #hello… #mhm mhm mhm (x2) #fffffffffffff #hmm. yeah. okay. Okay #god. Anyway! #hes............................hoti#god i love being bi #taika my beloved ❤️#ugh!#he's so hot #😳😳😳 #these gifs always make me feel something ((horny)) #🧎🧎🧎 #this is hotter than porn#EVERY TIME it comes up again i just want to f------#UNSPEAKABLE THINGS#the thoughts running through my head are obscene#lord just one night with this man is all i ask #none of the words I want to say are in the bible#biting gnawing chewing etc #I am looking extremely disrespectfully #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh#I'm so normal about it teehee #serve #this is pornographic wow#trembling in the knees are u joking #taika waititi at his most peggable #get taika into my bed challenge#get taika to look at me like that challenge#get taika to fuck me into the mattress so i can't walk straight for weeks on end challenge #lord forgive me #the man is Fine #OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG#i will Never recover from these gifs#prevv cause yes true #MY BREATH HITCHED SO HARD#im just 🥴#can't believe my eyes#AAAAAAAAAAAAH! #sir?????? #banging my head against a wall #I love his fantail tattoo #i literally cannot imagine a finer man #oh my fucking god#I’m sweating#TANII#OH MY GOD#I’ve erupted into flames #looking so respectfully #gooooddddddddddddddd #i need him to do unspeakable things to me#and if you've seen me reblog this before mind your business #i don't have anything new to say#just continue to be extremely horny for this #oh#okay#favorite#uhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh #..............#no comment #i love his tattoo #hhhhhhh#i saw a man so beautiful i started crying #choosing to think before i speak. i have nothing to say. #also pls sir tell me i would like to achieve this gender #looking disrespectfully #imagine once he has all white hair #not a word not a peep from me im not saying anything im silent as a lamb#🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 #😳 #i want to do unspeakable things to this man #arf arf #I am unwell #not that i'm complaining#It's delightful#And as always#i am looking disrespectfully #...#*no words* #he’s trying to be silly but it’s still hot!!! #👀👀👀 #👀#i am looking respectfully #too many things to say all of them too much #holy mother of god #impure thoughts: some#i am looking and it is NOT respectfully #I am looking and it is NOT respectfully #every time I see this my mouth waters#👀👀👀 #what a beautiful man#things that are pretty#<3 #okay. okay. #AWOOOOOOGA????? AWOOGA #nip sliiipp 🎶 #platonic husband #oh fuuuuck #god that one nipple #he's so so so so hot#I'm on my KNEES

Absurdist horniness

#the psychosexual equivalent of day old hair gel #human cigarette butt #the inherent eroticism of plastic zippers #sexy rip van winkle #i showed this to my husband#his reaction:#he's peeled like a banana #aotearoa i wanna fuck your dad #i have a brand#and that brand is thirsting after awkward old men#and this is hitting all the beats#unkempt hair#nip slip#whatever the fuck that jacket is #this was a cultural reset

The Bit

#welcome to commit to the bit: sweaty nipple taika edition #just rb-ing from everyone #don't mind me #of course this again #well now you're in welcome to the club #on my dash#you know the rules#<- my taika tag is a v useful reference and also a chronicle of my descent into madness #Prev JOIN US#In the endless reblog chain#Now it's just a bit#A hot bit but a bit nonetheless #omfg tor you put this on my dash 3x in a row from 3 different people it was beautiful #sorry we did this to your gif set op #should i just reblog it from everyone#i think so #Nothing quite like seeing this and thinking 'hmmmm should I reblog'#And then SEEING MY GODDAMN NAME IN THE TAGS#(ahem)#So thanks miles lol #hey elaine the sweaty nipple taika gifset is circulating again this is for you #As seen in my notifications#Was JUST talking about this an hour and a half ago#If the usual frequency is every six weeks we might be overdue?#Sure that makes sense #queuing this up for a month from now when we need it again #oh are we doing this again?#[checks watch]#it has been about six weeks huh #you know the rules #sweaty nipple taika never dies#a nipple of great power #I was literally JUST thinking about this gifset and wondering if poor OP knows when they're about to get hit with another round of notifs#when Certain Usernames appear in the reblogs Again #taika#been a minute#time for another round #no but for real#i’m scheduling this one for a rainy day #sweaty nipple taika#<- to my beloved followers who are not insane. this is the tag to block if you don’t want to see him a hundred more times #oh HELLO#I guess we are continuing to pass this one around?#I recently shared this with some non-tumblr friends#and the reactions were *choice*#including the request 'post this every day' (in this groupchat) lol#I do keep thinking about *the hair* #on my dash again#you know the rules #god damn#must always reblog #feeling blessed to have this on my dash again#always reblog the taika nipple #kfjsgshfjgh here we are again #sweaty nipple taika has returned #LOOK WHO'S BACK#hello op we have returned to your notes#Also I do now own a tiny button of this image courtesy of prev #I'm uncomfortably obsessed with this gifset#Apologies both to my followers and op #hey op i wore a button of this gifset on my head all weekend #yeah we can pass this around the dash like a hot potato why not #ya let's just rb it again #Oh is this one going around again?#A crimbus present to me (and probably the usual suspects later) #hrj discord caused a spike in the notes of this post right?#I would be very interested in seeing some graphs about it #one more while it's going around #we're just gonna rb this a few more times maybe #another reblog for the road #hello again this gifset#there’s just a lot of details here that are really important to me #I'll always reblog#how could i not #Back to bouncing this one around I see #welp gotta put it back in the queue now#we will never escape #happy taika something or other #you put it back on my dash#now i put it back on yours#we are trapped in this cycle of thirsting indefinitely #I think we do this about every three weeks based on my browsing the notes#just bounce this image around a few times nbd …

Existential Crisis

#as i said in the carlita chat the other day#sweaty nipple taika has become a jungian archetype of our collective unconscious#not taika in general#specifically sweaty nipple taika #tho this somehow isn't even about taika anymore#sweaty nipple gif has ascended into some kind of spiritual symbol#of thirst #sweaty nipple give me strength #sweaty nipple tracksuit taika RETURNS#he exists as a symbol beyond his mortal form#powered by our desire to put his nipple in our mouths

Confusion

#what is going on here #why does taika always looks like someone that *looks like* Taika Waititi??#Like sir how do you look like an off-brand version of yourself #that looks so uncomfortable. man put your clothes back on#(this is a joke from your local ace) #(wait hold on this is before the bird on his chest? interesting. not important or useful but huh.) #The gif of all time#Sir what are you doing with your hair#I've seen this post a dozen times and still I cannot

Being Personally Victimized/Anger

#god not this again#dammit #sick. sick man. #not again #Good afternoon!#Never escaping this apparently#Not that I'd want to really #tits out taika back on my dash AGAIN#PLEASE Y'ALL I CANNOT COPE#if we see him fully shirtless in s2 i'm toast lol#i am GONE #I can’t cope#the eyes#i’m a puddle #SIR #excuse me sir#i can't breathe#taika please #how does someone even get that hot that’s not fair #lord STOP acting like I am one of your strongest soldiers #fucking hell#this gets me every time#and by gets me i mean makes me drool into the carpet#fucking hellllll#taika wtf#stop#no pls dont stop #I’m…#I…#how to function?#AAHHH #haven’t crushed this hard on anyone for years#help me#so sexy I literally can not #HOW DARE YOU!!!#put some clothes on man!!!#🔥🔥🔥 #put your nipple away!!!!!!! #i will Never recover from these gifs #fuck all the way off #UUgh GO AWAY #go fuck yourself taika #taika#stop#what the fuck #yeah okay#fuck me #SIR??#GOOD LORD???#WITH THE TITTY OUT AND EVERYTHING#he hurts my feelings a whole lot <3 #sir?!#pretty #excuse me sir? #mr. waititi sir...#what are you doing to me sir#i am so horny for him#get taika to look at me like that challenge#get taika into my bed challenge #god fucking damnit #it's mornifn here stoppp #SIR WHAT HTE FUCK#taika#👁👁 #go fuck yourself taika #oh my#sir you are being obscene #put your nipple away you are in PUBLIC #taika#WHAT THE FUCK #i might rb this a couple times#boy howdy the pure primal urge to rip off that track suit is strong#gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i will simply never recover#i will be haunted by this track suit til the end of my days #Images that live in my head rent-free#Sir this is illegal#I CANNOT #i don't thirst over men not even taika but this should be illegal#you agree #SIR #this gifset will be the death of me #god fucking damnit #jfc

Tuesday/Calendar

#it's waititty wednesday #sigh#taika tuesday#… #Also: jumpstart on Taika Tuesday? #HELLOOOOO BABY GIRL #TAIKA TUESDAY #lol happy taika Tuesday#turns out it’s not Tuesday#but what’s wrong with celebrating early?? #happy men thursday but it's tuesday #we love tiddies out on a tuesday #oh hello again this gifset#happy taika tuesday #hey babes it's#taika tuesday #the gif of all time returns#just in time for#taika tuesday#😅 #i have so many questions and I'm not sure if I even want the answers?#so I'll just keep reblogging it until the end of time I guess #happy taika I don't remember what day it is anymore day #happy taika I don't remember what day it is anymore day #the way I've been staring at this#good god #TITS OUT THURSDAY!!!!

Dunking on Jeremy Renner

#I wonder how jeremy renner feels knowing that this is the most interesting 2 seconds of his music video #a. i was like ''main attraction wtf is that'' and googled it. its a fuckin JEREMY RENNER MUSIC VIDEO #you are right#he is the main attraction #i love that this moment is the most rewatched moment in the video#sorry that’s all i can think of when i see this skfksdk

Impure Thoughts About Rita Ora

#god i hope rita pegs him every night #I did not need to see this right before i go to sleep#i wish i was rita ora tbh she is a very lucky woman

Tits

#tits out #breasts #tits out taika #i will always reblog taika titty #lmao#tits out #i cannot stopn staring. at his tit #b. holy mother of GOD his titties #tits out for upcoming taika tuesday #tits out tuesday #can't not reblog the tit #taika waitiddies 😫👌🏻 #boobs. #waititties! #your tits mate

Unintentional Hypnotism/Fixation

#yknow i don't think ive ever reblogged this and its fuckin time to change that #i see it i reblog it #yeah sure#i'll sit and stare at this for 10 minutes#again #anyways today I am once again fixated on the way his chest is like. heaving.#my dude #once again I am reblogging#sweaty nipple taika #images that permanently altered my brain chemistry #i just can't not stare at it for ten minutes #oh damn#sir 👀👀👀👀#i get mesmerized by this every time i see it #it’s not even moving bc I’m on the bus#but I’m pretty sure I have every frame of this seared into my brain #sorry everyone but this is the most gif set ever#we cannot escape #sure I'll stare at that for a couple of minutes before my next meeting#just like: whew sure ok#this is fine#in both senses of the the word/phrase #it’s like staring into the fucking sun#I’m truly sorry to the people who have followed me since last December and don’t know the HOLD this gifset has on me#I’m also truly sorry to the people who know what’s about to happen to me again #let's just keep this going#even tho it eats hours out of my day#cause i'm required to stare at the nipple for 15 minutes every time #'I'm not gonna reblog the taika nipple banana costume gifset'#alas here we are#its power multiplies everytime it appears on my dash i stg #i will stop reblogging this gifset once I have been released from the absolutely criminal hold it has on me but#that hasn't happened yet I guess because I just gazed at it for ten minutes #op do you know how this gifset has changed me as a person? #it's just so powerful #do you ever just stare at a man's nipple #oops someone reblogged it from me#for a second i was like maybe secret fic is a spell to break the hold taika has over me#sweaty nipple says no #the cycle of infinite thirst continues#who allowed him anyway #if i have to stop and stare at it#you have to stop and stare at it #sorry i tried to resist rbing this#but i have stared at it#for like a full two minutes#every time it’s on my dash#taika#fine#FINE #i can feel this gif set against my skin#strongly evocative of tactile sensation #while i'm reblogging stuff i've already reblogged today#this gif set is my personality now #such a powerful nipple #yea i do sometimes stare at a man's nipple

Inflicting This On Other People

#i sent this to jams unprompted just because they should have a good monday morning #he returns to my dash (and now yours) once again #question tho:#(for science)#when y’all watch on repeat are you staring at his eyes or hand or nipple the most?#maybe this should be a poll #apologies or congratulations to my followers for subjecting you to this once again #I keep clicking into this tab to - I dunno - do something else?#and get bodied by this gif#so I'm making that everyone's problem #TIME TO REBLOG THIS#ofmd#i still can’t believe this gif exists #merry crimbus#merry crisis#here’s this gif again #doing my part to keep this gifset present in everyone's minds #lol this just showed up in the 'check these blogs' section#like sure I'll reblog this#let's just restart this again today like GOOD MORNING#also hey it is in fact#taika tuesday #had to scroll too far to find this so here it is again #why is this on my dash again. #relapsed #reblog #taika#just went searching for this gif to send to someone#and i had to scroll WAY too far in my blog to find it#so here it is again back at the top #every time i stop and stare at this#i'm gonna rb it and make y'all do it too #what if i just reblog it every time i see it

ngl maybe my favorite tag of all, just for the sheer irony of it: #i might rb this a couple times

Taika Waititi in Main Attraction’s Behind the Scenes

#taika waititi #sweaty nipple taika gif #information? science?#I did this for Reasons ™️and I'm glad I did #thank you everyone for this source of great and continued delight

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you-cant-spell-subtext-without · 4 years ago

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so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural. YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!” because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine. The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009.

Which I will be renting soon I guess. ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?] ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL

First date.

They then eat each other. Literally they eat each others flesh. They also do it while dirty talking about it. SPN IS A SHOW

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day. The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine.

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen. Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity). Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need. It consumes souls (demon and human alike).

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins. Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode. Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl. In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important. but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate. they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex. they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful. and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat? He is starving for red meat? You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?! No way. Absolutely no way. This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup. Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling. Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable. and it is SUPPOSED to be. Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited. For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean. Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again. sex/lust to gluttony. hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW - *takes deep breath*

this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry. Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me!

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated.

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions.

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for. That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious. It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala. But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh.

Wanna know the kicker?

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta. you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

#yes I did do a meat meta #and what of it #destiel #spn #spn fandom #supernatural #spn family #myspnmeta #my spn meta #hellerism #deancas #longpost #spn analysis #spn 5x14 #spn bloody valentine #meat meta #<- I do not even want to know or see what else that tag would lead to

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mythiica · 6 years ago

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Myth congrats on all of your new followers!! ❤️❤️❤️ May I get a Modern!AU slow burn fic ending in fluff for either Ieyasu, Mitsuhide, or Shingen? Tbh, I'm having a hard time choosing who, please choose whichever one inspires you! I trust your decision hehe 😊

Title: Modern AU! Slow Burn

Fandom: Ikemen Sengoku

Character: Ieyasu Tokugawa, Mitsuhide Akechi, Shingen Takeda

Genre: mini fics

Warnings: none

Intended Gender Audience: Female Audience

Word Count: each is about 700 words x 3 = 2100 words

POV: second person w/ (Y/n)

Other comments: im insane so im doing them all as mini scenarios; i decided to use the official art of what jobs they would have in an AU setting, hope you like!-

Ieyasu - Animal Kisses

“Hold her, will you?”

You do as you are told, allowing Ieyasu to wrap the fawn’s leg with a bandage. It squirms in your grip, but you keep the animal in place the best you can. Once he smooths down the edge of the wrap, Ieyasu gives you a short nod, letting you know he has finished. The fawn stands up and takes a few steps with her newly bandaged leg before licking Ieyasu’s cheeks.

He stands there, rather unamused, but accepts the creature’s kisses without saying anything. The deer also nuzzles its head against Ieyasu, but then he promptly picks her up to return her to the enclosure.

“Aww! She likes you~” you tease as you follow behind him. “Thank you for helping her. I was really worried when I saw the blood this morning. I thought that something had broken into the conservatory, but she just fell over a broken branch.”

“Don’t thank me. It’s my job.”

“Still though… all the animals here like you. You have a special connection with them.”

Ieyasu presses the button for the intercom. “Can someone come get Twyla? She’s ready to go back. Make sure she gets antibiotics in her food for the next six meals. If she comes back looking worse, I’m blaming you lot.”

Your pager pings, so you pull it from your pocket. “Oh…” you mumble dejectedly.

“Something wrong?”

“No…” you reply, “I have to go to the other side of the facility to help one of the bush babies. It seems like one of them got stuck in a tree hole and is a bit too pudgy to get out.”

Ieyasu chuckles slightly at this. “They have been putting on more weight than usual. Perhaps they are trying to bulk up for mating season?”

Of course he has a reasonable answer for this. Ieyasu always knows everything about every animal in the rescue center. He also is always so kind to any creature that comes into his room.

“I’ll see you around, then,” you say with a wave. “Bush babies to save...” You bite your lip and fumble with your fingers. An awkward silence passes between the two of you before you escape from the lab.

Ieyasu lingers in his spot, leaning against the metal table, and thinks for a moment. He brushes off the notion and turns around to tend to some files for incoming animals.

An hour later, a knock at the door coaxes him from his work. “You again?”

You laugh. “This time, I am the patient.”

He raises an eyebrow, to which you raise your finger and show him the smallest trickle of blood going down your finger. “Mating season indeed. The male attacked me when he heard the female squeal as I tried to remove her.”

“That stupid saucer-eyed cotton ball,” he curses. “Come here.”

Your heels click against the tiled floor as you walk over, and Ieyasu grabs your hand to inspect the puncture wound. “I washed it before coming here, but I didn’t know where we keep the medical supplies that are… well… for humans. I guess I’m too new here!”

Ieyasu rips open a small alcoholic wipe and cleans your finger before applying a bit of cream to it and wrapping a band aid around it.

“What’s my prognosis?”

“You’ll live,” he replies. “Just make sure you wash it when you get home and keep it covered while you work.”

“Thank you, Dr. Tokugawa.”

“Don’t call me that. It makes me sound old.”

You cover your mouth and laugh. Placing your hands back in your lap, you look around at his lab to avoid sparking up further conversation. But the, Ieyasu clears his throat, and you immediately worry that you intruded on something.

“Oh! Sorry. I should… be getting to lunch. Thank you again.”

This time, when you turn to leave, Ieyasu is not so quick to let you leave. “Would you like to stay here and eat?”

“I thought we were not allowed to bring food into the labs.”

Ieyasu points at the tables. “I sanitize these at least forty times an hour. My floors are cleaner than the cafeteria tables.”

You can’t hold your smile back and nod your head enthusiastically.

Mitsuhide Akechi - Late Nights at the Precinct

You turn the lights out and close your office door behind you. The lock clicks shut, and you begin to walk to the front doors to leave the precinct. With your hands on the door bars, you catch a glimspe of Mitsuhide in his own office. He is hunched over his desk, reviewing papers for a recent case he took on.

Up to now, you have only heard whispers of the famous Mitsuhide Akechi – he was a legend in Japan for solving the most difficult of cases. People said that it took him three days to find an illusive serial killer that had evaded the police for nearly a year. You wonder if he is really as ruthless as they say. Not only was he extremely good at his job, but people claimed that he had more connections to mafias and gangs than anyone in the country. This earned him the nickname ‘kitsune’, as he could shape shift to fit his needs for the case.

You knock on his open door and lean against the doorframe. “Burning the midnight oil?” you inquire, trying to sound cool.

He looks up, his golden eyes seemingly piercing through you. Mitsuhide takes his glasses off and leans back in his chair. His hand shifts, moving the case file over the papers so that you cannot see them. Of course he is guarded. He transferred to the Tokyo division only recently.

“Is it really that late? I hadn’t noticed.” Mitsuhide proceeds to stand up and stretch before sauntering over to you. “And what is a little mouse as yourself doing here at a time like this?”

“I had to finish a report for a case I just closed.”

“Oh?”

“Kidnapping,” you explain.

Mitsuhide’s eyes shine. “I don’t think we’ve properly met, Detective…?”

“(Y/n) (L/n).”

“Ah, of course. You helped with the Yandere Killings last year, didn’t you?” Mitushide refers to a string of murders that happened over the course of a week early last spring. They were strangely consistent with murders that happen in the game Yandere Simulator, hence the name ‘Yandere Killings’ was coined for the case.

“Yes, but I didn’t do as much as you did, Detective Akechi. After all, you caught the person who was doing it.”

Mitsuhide smiles, accepting your praise happily.

“Sorry to bother you, I just saw your light and…” you trail off, not really knowing how to explain why you stopped by.

“It’s no problem.”

Indeed, Mitsuhide was keeping his answers short as to avoid complicating the conversation further. You wonder if he ever let anyone in. Shaking the thought from your mind, you bow your head. “Best of luck on the case you are working on now. I will take my leave now. Goodnight, Detective Akechi.”

“Goodnight, little mouse.” He stays in his spot as you leave, only moving from the doorframe until after you have exited the building.

The next morning, when you enter the precinct, you can see Mitsuhide sitting in your chair from the main hall. “Hello Detective Akechi. What brings you here?”

He brings his feet down from your desk and looks at you. “I came to ask you a question.”

“Okay. Shoot.”

Mitsuhide clicks his tongue. “Do you suppose it is possible that the murders from the Back alley case were moved there?”

You tap your finger against your chin, pondering this idea. “I haven’t reviewed the case file in detail, but there wasn’t any evidence that they had been killed on the spot, right?”

He nods. “Smart mouse.” Mitsuhide seems to really like this nickname. “Does that not make it kidnapping, technically?”

“Well…” you think back to your years of training, “Not always. Kidnappers are not always motivated by a murderous intent. Unless the victims were held captive and then killed, I don’t know that… wait…” Something seems off. Why is he asking you this? Mitsuhide is smart enough to know the answer himself. He could just as easily look it up. Why bother to com ask you directly?

Mitsuhide tips his head and looks at you as if he is analyzing you.

“Are you asking me to work this case with you?”

The corners of his mouth curl upwards into a sly smile. “How perceptive.”

You laugh. “You could have asked me or put in a request with–”

He stands up and pats your head, ruffling up your hair. “Yes. I could have. But I wanted to test you. And you passed, little mouse. Congratulations and welcome to the homicide division.”

Shingen - Etude in G# minor, Op.25; No.6

He plays with the grace of a swan gliding through crystal clear water. His fingers glide across the keys, creating beautiful harmonies that echo throughout the concert hall. The rest of the symphony has stopped playing, allowing him to continue with a piano solo.

You find it strange – you have heard this particular piece, Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto No.2, but the way Shingen Takeda plays it… he transforms the piece and brings the audience along for a mystical ride along with him. You would not be surprised if there were people moved to tears. In fact, when you inhale, your chest rattles with a surpassed cry.

Shingen ends the song, keeping his finger held down on the key for a bit longer than was supposed to, but no one notices because the hall erupts into applause. You have been attending concerts for many years, but this is the first time that people throw roses onto the stage.

He picks one up, and when he smells it, his gaze locks with yours. You are not too far in the back, and nor are you very close to the front, so this catches you off guard. Your stomach does flips in your abdomen when he winks. If Shingen Takeda was anything in addition to one of the best pianists in the world, he was the biggest flirt in the world as well.

The concert dismisses, and crowds run to the exits in an attempt to catch him before he leaves. When you enter the main hall, you hear screams from behind you. A mob of young women runs straight for you, but before they make impact, a strong hand wraps around your waist and pulls you out of the way.

When you look up, you nearly lose your breath – Shingen smiles at you with that charming smile of his. It melts your bones and steals any words you could have said in the moment.

“Careful there,” he purrs, dipping his head closer to you, “an angel like you should watch her step.”

Your heart thunders in your chest, and you pull to get away. The crowd of girls has circled around you, trying to get a piece of the action. Shingen pays them little attention, and actually seems saddened that you have moved away from him. “You played beautifully tonight, Mr. Takeda.”

“Hearing that, from you, is a gift in itself.” The women all swoon simultaneously, but Shingen tips his head slightly when you do not fall for the same sweet talk.

“Thank you,” you say quickly before escaping the crowd.

The next day, you return to reality and your job as a hostess at a high-end restaurant. You arrive a bit earlier than usual so you can help set up the tables for dinner. The restaurant sits on the top of a skyscraper-hotel. As soon as you come out of the elevator, you nearly drop your phone because you see Shingen Takeda sitting at the piano in the middle of the dining hall.

He plays as beautifully as he did last night, putting you in a trance that nearly makes you miss getting out of the elevator. Skittering out from the elevator, you try to find one of your coworkers and ask them to explain why Shingen is there.

“Oh, the boss asked him to make an appearance tonight and play for the guests. Did you not get my text?”

You look down and realize that you have gotten a message from her, but you were busy ogling Shingen to notice. Inhaling, you shake the nerves off and collect some table cloths to go cover the tables. Deep down, you pray that he doesn’t notice you, but when you hear him whistle, you know you’ve been found.

He waves at you, and you know that he won’t stop until you visit him. “Hello again,” he greets, “it must be fate that allows me to see you again today, my angel.”

“I’m not your angel. I work here.”

Shingen runs his hand through his hair. “Tonight, I will play whatever song you wish. Tell me, what do you desire?”

Rolling your eyes, you smirk. “Chopin's “Etude in G# minor, Op.25; No.6.” It was one of the most difficult pieces you knew, so you threw it at Shingen in an attempt to deter him.

Instead of being discouraged, he smirks and nods. “A fine choice. I will make you proud, my goddess.”

You pause. “Uh.. angel… is better than goddess.” A blush spreads across your cheeks as you say this, but it only makes Shingen laugh.

When guests begin to arrive, Shingen finally starts to play the song you asked for. As he plays the first few notes, you stop and turn to look at him. The spotlight is focused directly above him, catching everyone’s attention. Your heart shatters as the minor undertones take over because he is that good.

Snapping back into reality, you take a group to their table. On the way back to the front, you stop by the piano and place a flower on the music stand. He smiles at you, but continues to play.

The music wraps around you, enveloping you in the strong emotion he pours into the piece. Of course he does. He is Shingen Takeda after all – the world’s best flirter and pianist.

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