geez-names-are-hard-ugh

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boss make dollar i make dime so i watch top 10 fortnite deaths on company time

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Out of character banter:

“What’s your intelligence?” “17.” “Act like it.”

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Also u must prove we are dating using a formal logical proof or else it doesn’t count

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Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.

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my brain: i can’t live like this anymore

me looking at funney picture of raccoon eating nachos: 

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I’m going to save up for a new motorcycle by running a scam where I bet straight dudes at bars twenty bucks that I can get a girl’s number in under five minutes and then politely walk up her and say, “I just bet that asshole twenty bucks that I could get your number. I’ll split it with you if you pretend to laugh like I just said a good pick up line and then write a fake number on my hand.”

Like, I never understood those kind of bets in those shitty teen movies. Everybody loves being part of a scheme, man. Use your head.

[geez-names-are-hard-ugh]

Giant tarantulas keep tiny frogs as pets. Insects will eat the burrowing tarantulas’ eggs - so the spiders protect the frogs from predators, and in return the frogs eat the insects. Source

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tumblr post: reblog if you’re not homophobic!!!!1!

me, a gay who is tired of seeing this shit on my dash:

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if someone makes you happy, make them happier

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when will people use the anon function to send passionate, homosexual anonymous love letters

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People still defending cops? In 2018? Get a new hobby

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i love content of like the overwatch characters goin out and doing fun things together but it’s funny considering close to half of them are terrorists and wanted criminals

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hey quick question but how do you physically change from

this

to this

to this

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heavily armored knight women with weapons larger than their entire body

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my favorite student is this little excitable turkish kid who waves me over at lunch every day to holler a joke at me & then urges me to get the other teachers to come listen to his jokes. my favorite so far is Q: what do you call somebody who doesnt want you to go to the bathroom? A: a teacher (the other teachers did not find it as hilarious as i did)

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yes teenage girls can be dramatic and wild but honestly have u ever even seen what happens when u tell a grown man ‘no’