funkycatbruh

[funkycatbruh]

@saturnsatnin HAS STOLEN MY WORK

So I wrote this fic for a collab back in early November and this person has decided to steal not only the entire thing, but my requests and drabbles too. I haven’t had a proper look but I am SHAKING with anger. The only thing they changed is the characters involved. I’m not sure if they’ve stolen anyone else’s work, but you know people like this are too lazy and in creative to write their own stuff so please make sure to see if anything of yours has been stolen.

I am FUMING I have no idea what to do in this situation.

[funkycatbruh]

slipping through my fingers [3] (myg)

title: the calm before the storm

pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst!, fluff, smut summary: you're hit with some harsh facts that you aren't ready to entertain. warnings: [hi find the story masterlist here] insecurity, stubborn oc, ft. public enemy no. 2 (for now)

The restaurant took twice the amount of time they usually do to deliver your orders. On top of that, they ended up charging you a convenience fee for taking too long.

Taehyung was now on the phone, negotiating a refund or a discount from the place.

Meanwhile, you had tucked yourself in bed. You still had a lot to ask him. Now that you saw Yoongi’s girlfriend on his phone, you’re wondering if Taehyung’s close to her. It’d be awkward if they were.

On the contrary, you do feel a tad better at the idea that your friend was no stranger to the woman. For Nao.

Even though Yoongi would never bring anyone he didn’t trust wholly around your daughter, it’s an extra layer of security for Taehyung to know or know of her.

Taehyung walks into your room with freshly picked peonies in his hand.

“I still can’t believe you’re letting Nao meet her before you do.” He voices.

Still, you skip over the statement, “What is that in your hand?” Taehyung didn’t have those with him when he came.

“They’re flowers.”

“Yeah, they’re peonies. Like the ones Katarina grows. In her garden.” You observed, realisation hitting you slowly.

“Ok, what’s your point?” He pauses and sniffs the petals, “WOW, these are fragrant.”

A little agitated, you prop yourself up on your elbows, “My point is that you stole my neighbour’s flowers?”

It’s hard enough maintaining a flower garden in an apartment complex. You did not want to participate in ruining it for her.

Taehyung took offence to your accusation, “I didn’t steal! I bought them.”

Confused, you ask, “Why?”

“They’re for you. For your room. I thought you liked flowers.” He looks around your room.

Oh.

“Where’s the crystal vase I gave you?” Taehyung walks into your closet in search of it.

“Next to the shoes,” you trail off, “I think…”

You were used to Yoongi bringing your flowers every other week. But because he stopped recently, you put all your flower vases away in storage not wanting to be reminded of Yoongi’s flowers, or rather, the absence thereof.

Reemerging from your closet, he sets up the flowers on your bedside table. And you fall back in bed with a ‘thud.’

“Tae…” You trail off, lazily patting the spot next to you.

He joins you in bed, “Yeah?”

“Are you close with her? Like, are you friends?”

He carefully watches you.

Your eyes were trained to your ceiling but you could tell that his were on you.

“I met her at the gallery a few times. We went clubbing together. That… Do you remember when I invited you that one time?”

With your brows scrunched, you rapidly turn your head to face him, startling him.

“YOU INTRODUCED THEM?” You couldn’t control the way that came out.

“I didn’t intend to! I- I wanted you to meet her, but when you said no…” His voice faded off.

He looked like a kicked puppy. However, you were too riled up to stop.

Suddenly, you jump off the bed, feeling a rush of emotions. This was one of those moments when you could feel the blood pumping through your veins and hear your own heartbeat in your ears, and you couldn’t just lie still.  

You run your hands through your hair, “I can’t believe you introduced my ex to his WIFE.”

By enunciating every word, you tried to process this new piece of information in your own way.

You couldn’t help but wonder; Had you not refused to go out with Taehyung because of Yoongi being there too, is it possible that you and Yoongi would’ve ended up together instead?

It wasn’t Taehyung you were angry with. It was yourself. But you were in too deep and couldn’t help the words coming out of your mouth.

Still, you continue, “And you didn’t even TELL me about them.”

“And how long have Yoongi’s ‘other girls’ lasted? And what even was this? Love at first sight or some bull?” You’re pacing around your room. “You could’ve warned me, Taehyung.”

“What? What just happened?” He asks, mostly to himself.

Sitting up, he explains, “_____, I didn’t know. I didn’t know they kept in touch! He didn’t seem that into her!” Taehyung was visibly forcing himself to keep his voice down. His tone of speech still leaned towards comforting.

Holding Taehyung’s full focus now, you almost whine, “I don’t deserve this.” You point a finger at him, “Just answer me.”

After a long pause, he sighs, “What do you want to know?”

“Why did nobody warn me?”

“_____, you’re putting me in a difficult position here.”

“No, I’m not.” You dismiss immediately, “Why did none of you lot tell me about this new girl? Why was I so out of the loop? It’s like you were trying to exclude me because you like Yoongi more or something-”

“_____, YOU told us not to. That’s why nobody ‘warned’ you. You can’t get mad at US for respecting YOUR wishes.”

Flabbergasted, you gasp, “WHAT are you talking about?”

“You don’t remember? YOU told us to never update you about Yoongi.”

You shook your head.

You don’t believe him. “That’s stupid.”  

“I agree.” He nods.

“No. I mean, you saying that. That’s not right.” – “_____. You might not remember it, but you weren’t the easiest person to be around after you broke up with Yoongi.”

“I know. I was there,” you spat, spitefully.

Taehyung frowned, “This is why I didn’t want to do this.”

That pauses your train of thought. You don’t understand why he’d bring this up now. You knew you were a mess.

After Yoongi moved out of the home you shared, your break up was actually finalized.

After that, all your time went to your daughter. You were hyper-fixated on her and might’ve neglected other aspects of your life, but you’ve come so far that you don’t understand why he’d remind you of that again.

Mayhaps you should take it down a few notches. But your head was too full of anger to acknowledge his stance.

“Forget about it. Let’s not do this now,” Taehyung kindly suggests. “Why don’t we go down to the bakery?”

Anxiously scratching your neck, you declined, “Taehyung, no. Just… I really don’t remember saying that,” you spoke somewhat apologetically.

You returned to bed, plopping yourself next to him.

Gracefully accepting, Taehyung coos, “I know, angel. But that really is all I can say.”

Yet another moment of silence takes over your space.

You cleared your throat, “Is she a good person?”

Taehyung looked at you awkwardly.

Before he could respond, you add, “She seems to know about me, I want to know her too.”

“She’s okay.” He shrugged, making your smile a little. “Don’t try to flatter me…”

That smile doesn’t last very long though. Taehyung caresses your back as you navigate your emotions. “I want to cry but I can’t and I don’t know why.”

Taehyung opens and shuts his mouth a few times, debating whether or not he should say anything.  

You change the topic before he could, “Where’s the food?”

“I traded it for the flowers.” – “That’s nice.”

Taehyung remained by your side, his presence a source of comfort amidst the chaos in your mind.

Wordlessly, he offered a supportive embrace that you eagerly accepted.

As you sat there, grappling with your emotions, your phone abruptly rang, startling both you and Taehyung.

The caller ID displayed Yoongi’s name, and for a moment, your heart stopped.

₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ die 4 you by dean ₊˚.🎧 ✩｡

note: ok this was probably a little boring but its imp background

this was supposed to be a part of the previous chapter but it got too lengthy so i thought i'd cut it out for a flashback later. but i think it makes more sense now.

! and i hope it answered some of your questions kinda

[funkycatbruh]

slipping through my fingers [prologue] (myg)

pairing: min yoongi x reader genre: dilf!yoongi, exes and co-parents au, angst, fluff, smut summary: you've always thought you had it way too easy. all of a sudden, your life seems to be taking a few unexpected turns. it's time your luck ran out. word count: 1.4k warnings: none, you're all good > : )

The soft whirring sound of the radiator echoed through your cozy apartment.

It’s homey and comforting to hear the constant hum in the background. Sometimes, you’d leave the window open for the cold air to enter your space just so you had an excuse to use your radiator.

Still, you ought to get that fixed up before your ex-boyfriend lectures you about getting a new one already.

It was one of those days when time seemed to have slowed down. As you folded your daughter’s fresh laundry, you went over your tasks for the day.

You were in no hurry because for once, you had everything together.

The living room bathed in the sun’s golden hue.

Your daughter sat on her favourite spongy floor mat, completely absorbed in creating her new art piece. Her fingers were covered in pink, purple and white paint.

Momentarily pausing, you take note of what type of paint she used.

Acrylic.

You sigh. That would be a pain to clean off.

After putting away the laundered clothes, you remind your daughter to get into the bath.  

You stood in front of her with your hand on your hips, “Nao, do you want mommy to run you a warm bath or would you rather shower?”

She simply hums.

“Mommy needs to shower too. You better get in there…” You walk away after adding, “Before I do.”

At that, Naomi instantaneously stops and rushes into the bath.

Naomi was a lot like you. She hated using wet bathrooms, as do you. But motherhood had changed you. Now, you’d do just about anything for your daughter.

As if you just remembered, you yelp, “Hold on! Let me clean the paint off of you first.”

You didn’t want your pristine white bathroom tiles to stain.

After bathing and dressing your daughter in a sage green cotton dress that you stitched yourself, you decide to let her watch TV even though it isn’t time for that just yet.

“Is daddy coming to get me today?” Naomi’s enthusiastic voice stopped you. It’s a bittersweet moment for you. On one hand, you’re happy that your daughter’s happy, on the other, you’re reminded that Yoongi and you aren’t together anymore.

“Of course, he is. It’s Friday!” You match her tone. She perks up and resumes watching the Barbie movie you put on for her.

Naomi would be distracted for a good thirty minutes now.

That does not leave you a lot of time for your ‘everything’ shower, but you were aiming high either way.

While in the shower, you let your thoughts wander to Yoongi.

He suggested you have dinner together because he had a few things to discuss with you.

You don’t think too much of it. It’s probably something about his upcoming business trip. You’ve got everything covered either way.

Your breakup was… inevitable. It wasn’t mutual at first, but you knew it’s where you were headed to.

After five years of dating, while simultaneously parenting Naomi, you wanted to get married. Yoongi didn’t.

You yearned for the validation and commitment of marriage, while Yoongi held steadfast to his belief against it. He refused to confine himself to a traditional marriage.

When you opened up to him about your insecurities about him leaving you for someone else, he grappled to reassure and console you. It worked for about a month.

Your differences, once manageable, had now grown into impossible divides, creating a rift that stretched beyond mere disagreement.

Self-doubt and a lack of validation destroyed your relationship.

The water had almost run cold by the time you finished your shower routine.

You pick out a sage green dress for yourself, similar to Naomi’s, just longer.

In no hurry, you moisturize and blow-dry your hair.

Even though you’re broken up, you still try to dress up for him. You don’t know why.

Apart from some lingering stares, there hasn’t been any sign of a reconciliation since you broke up. Yet, you always try to look good for him.

Although, that’s just who you are. You’d dress up for anyone. But, it’s still different with Yoongi. You especially enjoy his compliments.

The doorbell rang, forcing you to hurry and spritz on the first perfume bottle you touch.

“Don’t open the door! You don’t know who it is!” You warn Naomi, but to no avail.

He’s early today.

Naomi races you to the door, “It’s daddy!” You let her win. You rush to tidy up the living room as you walk to the door.

“You’re so early!” Your daughter clings to his leg. Yoongi laughs and drags his foot in.

“How are my girls feeling?” He smirks at you. “A little troubled now that you’re here.” You bicker.

Yoongi vocalizes a groan, “Why’s mommy so mean to daddy?” He directs it to Naomi.

You smile and wait by the coat hanger stand to receive his jacket.

The apartment feels a little livelier every time he stops by.

“Why are you here so soon? I haven’t even begun cooking yet.” You walk into your kitchen to quickly gather ingredients to prepare a fresh pasta dough.

“No reason.” Yoongi cleared his throat, “Let me help you cook.” You gladly accept his help.

You assign both Nao and Yoongi to make the sauce and the salad.

Soon, your kitchen was filled with the clatter of pots and pans and laughter.

₊˚ ‿︵‿︵୨୧ · · ♡ · · ୨୧‿︵‿︵ ˚₊

After dinner, Naomi spends time watching TV and working on her masterpiece.

In the serene quiet of your kitchen, the clinking of dishes echoed softly as you and Yoongi worked in unison, a familiar rhythm of cleaning up after a shared meal.

The warmth of the evening meal lingered; the comforting ambiance contrasted with the weight of the impending conversation.

Yoongi sighed for the fifth time that evening before you finally asked him, “What is it you wanted to talk about? Is everything okay?”

As you wiped a bowl dry, you stole a glance at Yoongi, noticing the hint of unease in his demeanour. Your heart fluttered with a sense of foreboding, sensing something amiss.

Yoongi paused for a moment; his hands still submerged in soapy water. "I... I have something I need to tell you."

You laughed uneasily, “I know. Spit it out already. You’re worrying me.”

The air around you felt heavier.

You set down the dishcloth, turning to face him, a sense of apprehension settling in.

Yoongi stared back into your eyes.

"I... I'm getting engaged," Yoongi finally uttered, his words hanging heavily in the air.

WHAT?

The world seemed to pause for a moment as you tried to process his words.

Your chest tightened, emotions swirling within you—a mix of surprise, disbelief, and an (un)expected pang of sorrow.

You searched his eyes for reassurance, for any sign of hesitation or doubt.

"Engaged?" Your voice was barely a whisper.

You’re hoping he misspoke. Maybe he’s getting engraved or encased or embraced.

Yoongi nodded, his expression a blend of remorse and an unspoken plea for understanding. "It's been on my mind for a while."

“Has it, now?” You scoffed.

WOW, really?

You didn’t even know he was seeing someone like that.

Even though you’re broken up, you feel cheated on in some way.

“I don’t know what to say.” You deadpan.

Your conversation was interrupted by the distant sound of Naomi's laughter, a stark reminder of the delicate balance you maintained for your daughter's sake.

"I wanted you to know first," Yoongi added softly, his eyes a mosaic of regret and an unspoken apology. One that you don’t want to acknowledge or accept.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you look down at your floral dishcloth.

You have a lot of questions but you don’t really want answers to all of them.

Yoongi feels ashamed of himself. But he knew he’d have to have this conversation with you someday. The sooner the better. He thoroughly beat himself up for this too.

You excused yourself promptly, “I’ll check on Nao.” Yoongi simply nodded.

Alone in the quiet of the short hallway that connects the kitchen to your living room, you leaned against the wall. A mix of emotions threatened to overwhelm you. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself against the ache in your chest.

₊˚.🎧 ✩｡ in my dreams by red velvet ₊˚.🎧 ✩｡

note: this is a self-indulgent drabble series i'm writing, nothing is planned and i'll just write as i go

i hope u guys enjoy it!

[funkycatbruh]

(re)starting over again | kth; 12

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 5.3k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | mentions of death, drinking, disease (cancer)

note | surpisingly, i am still alive lol i'm kidding. i apologize for the delay! the bad headaches are now gone and the fever has cooled down. and now, the update's here! to everyone who sent their messages, tysm I appreciate it 🥺 I didn't mean to ghost y'all, I'm so sorry! anw hope u enjoy reading this one :)

main masterlist | series masterlist

Ever since you were young, you liked things to go the way you planned it. When you were younger, you carried a small notebook with you. Your father gave you your first one during the holidays when you were seven. In there, you make your own little bullet journal, listing off the things you would want to do for the upcoming days. With your messy handwriting, you even wrote your far future plans.

As a child, you used to see things with your rose-colored glasses. Everything seemed real and attainable for your small hands. You thought you just had to follow the usual path of your plans and you would be fine. But things do not always go according to plan. You learned it the hard way.

You always dreamt of being a nurse. At age eight, you were a frequent visitor to the hospital. Not because you were sick yourself, but because you and your mom had to go back there from time to time with your dad who was receiving treatment for his disease. You wanted to take care of him. So you did what a little girl could do, listen to your dad’s heartbeat through your plastic toy stethoscope and kiss his pain away. He would always call you his favorite nurse and you would give him your toothy grin. After a year, when you were nine, he lost his battle with cancer. 

Confused and in sorrow, you almost crossed out that dream from your list. You had a hard time understanding why you had to lose your dad at such an early age. Your friends had dads, how come you lost yours before you could even reach middle school? Then, you became angry. Your father was always in treatment in the hospital. Hospitals are meant to cure people, right? Your little kid brain thought. It felt unfair to you.

But then, you and your mom later left the small neighborhood you were living in and moved in with your aunt– her older sister. Aunty Belle is a nurse herself, a surprise for you as you didn’t know you have a relative who works in the same place you loathed at that time. But you couldn’t bring yourself to hate her, she was warm and welcoming when you arrived in her humble abode in Incheon. She doesn’t have a family of her own so she took good care of you and your mom. She became your third parent while your mom deals with the grief of losing her husband.

“It’s fun. You get to meet wonderful people every day and help them to feel better.” your aunt replied once when you asked her about her job.

Aunty Belle never got tired of your questions and curiosity about nursing. Slowly, you began rebuilding your plans. The dream of being a nurse is back, added with your other dreams: making your mom happy, and living independently (like your aunt). You studied hard, aiming for higher grades and going to the best college for your dreams.

But at age fifteen, Aunty Belle became your legal guardian when your mom passed. Through your aunt, you learned that your mother has been struggling heavier than you expected. Your aunt was extremely worried for your mom that’s why she begged her to come and live with her. You always thought your mom was getting better with how she cried less day by day and even took a job as a receptionist in a dental clinic. 

Since then, you have become more understanding and emotionally sensitive to everyone. The feelings you had years ago when you lost your dad were creeping around you. This time, instead of being angry at something else, you felt like this one was on you. You blamed yourself for not seeing the signs from your mother’s eyes. How she became more reserved or how her eyes were often blank whenever she tried to smile for you. Maybe you were too focused on reaching your plans that you didn’t give any attention to her. You were angry, hurt, and in guilt. It’s too overwhelming and is heavy in your heart. It reached the point where you broke down during breakfast, in front of the toast and bacon Aunty Belle prepared for you, weeks after your mom’s funeral.

“I should’ve seen it. I should have seen that she was not okay.” you sniffed as you looked down your plate. “I was supposed to make her feel better and happy.”

Crying, you pushed your plate in front of you and just covered your face with your palms. You repeated the words over and over again like you were reminding yourself how you failed as your mom’s only child.

“Oh, sweetie…” your aunt whispered before sitting beside you and enveloping you in a hug. Her hand moved up and down your arms, making you feel warm. “It’s not your fault. You are the best daughter she could ask for. She loves you more than anything else.”

After that morning, Aunty Belle made sure to get you the best help. She guided you in everything she could and supported you with your choices. She made sure that you will still pursue your plans, never stopping you from doing what you want. Years later, you graduated from high school and were about to embark on a new journey.

“You know that you can just have this place,” she mumbled when you were packing your things. “I’m selling it anyway.”

“But Aunty, this isn’t in my plan. You know how bad I want to live in Seoul.” you smiled at her.

Because of your efforts and hard work, you got accepted into one of the best universities in another city. You later moved from Incheon to Seoul to finish your studies and become a nurse there. While Aunty Belle sold her home and followed her own plans of living with her longtime best friends under one roof.

But none of what happened in the last few years was part of your plans when you were younger. You didn’t really see yourself coming back to Incheon after living in Seoul for the longest time. You never thought you would leave your job in the hospital you dreamed of and work in a slightly different environment.

Two years ago, you left home. The house you had plans in with someone else. You were the one who broke off those plans and moved away without really telling anyone. You remembered that night like it was yesterday.

Every step you took away from him felt like a piece of you fell on the ground. Your vision was all blurry and you had to cover your lips as you sobbed. You clutched onto your gown while you remind yourself that you need to do this. For the sake of your own being. But still, there is this voice telling you to stay– to turn around and come back to him.

“YN, honey,” 

Looking up, you see Julia looking at you with sympathy. She walked towards you with open arms and you immediately just broke down on her dress. Listening to your sobs, Julia eyes her date, whom you didn’t notice was there waiting too, to get in the car. 

Your whispered voice muffled in the hug, “I hate this so much,”

The whole drive home, Julia and Chanyeol respected your silence in the backseat. They put on some radio music and chatted about the wedding while your teary eyes just looked outside the window. They were like your parents that night. When you guys passed by McDonald’s, it took one nudge from Julia to make Chanyeol turn the car back around for the drive-thru. She ordered your food for you in a separate bag so you could have something to eat when you reached home. When you arrived in front of your house, they helped you with your small bag. 

“Thank you so much, guys. I’m sorry this is our first meeting, Chanyeol.” you tried to lighten the mood as you three stood on the porch.

He smiled, “It’s fine. Everyone has their bad day.”

You chuckled before Julia nudged her again with her elbow. Then, she turns to you.

“What time are you leaving tomorrow?”

“Probably early morning. I already have the keys to keep my apartment so I can go there now too if I want to.” your words rambled as your head felt like a mess.

“Okay, call me. I’ll pick you up–” Before you can say anything, she lifts her finger. “And no, I won’t take no for an answer. I wanna see your new place.”

They left after Julia made sure you were fine. Walking into your house for the last time, you tried to go straight to your room to change from your gown to your pajamas. Then, you cried again. And again. And again. 

The last time you woke up in that house was the morning after that. You woke up before dawn. The sky was barely lit and the moon was still present above you. You promised yourself that you would leave like a ghost. Like what you have been doing the last few days. Cleaning up, your hand ran on your bedsheets to smoothen out the wrinkles. Fortunately, almost ninety percent of your clothes fit in two pieces of luggage. You just have to leave a few things that you’ll probably get when you get back.

From Julia

Will be there in five

Five minutes left, you find yourself sitting in front of your vanity mirror. Making one last check, you pulled the small drawers in the table. That’s when you saw that old pearl ring Taehyung bought you in the flea market. A heavy sigh from your chest makes its way out of your lips. Holding it between your thumb and index finger, you stare at it.

We tried, didn’t we?

Before any tears can fall, you simply close your eyes. Your chest heaves. You clutched that ring in your palm for some minute, like you were giving your one last goodbye. Then, you carefully place it next to your keys. You decided to leave your keys as you don’t want to come and go here in secret as you always have the tendency to do that especially if you want to avoid a person. Like you were doing now. You want to come back here better and hopefully, talk to Taehyung in the future.

Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.

You wrote on a piece of paper that you left on the same table. In the weeks you two lived together after the accident, you knew how he struggled to adjust to this house. Now that you’re going, you wish for him to feel comfortable in this house you two shared and called home. The pieces of furniture and shade of blue that took over every wall in the house were picked by both you and Taehyung when you bought it. The frame kept every memory you and Taehyung love to look back on in the span of your four-year relationship. But if it means for him to feel at home, you won’t mind if he wants to change things around the house. Even though it will probably break your heart harder than it is now.

“You…”

It was only your first morning, the second day in your new apartment in Incheon when someone came knocking on your door. You were still organizing your place and unpacking when you heard continuous heavy knocks. Almost instantly, your eyes widened when you saw who it was through your door’s peephole. The person spoke again as soon as you opened your door.

“You moved?!” Jisoo immediately pushed through your door and welcomed herself in. “You moved here?!”

Based on the tone of her voice, she was more angry than surprised. Her eyebrows were scrunched together while her nose flared. Her hands were on her hips like she was waiting for an explanation. Your lips opened for a second before it closed again. You softly scratched your cheek before opening your lips again,

“I-I thought you were on your honeymoon vacation.”

She tilts her head, “Well, I’m not. Am I?”

“Why are you here?” you mumbled, sounding scared at her.

The thing is, Jisoo rarely gets angry or annoyed. You had known her ever since you began working as a nurse and you learned she have the longest patience for everyone else. But when she runs out of it, you don’t know how she will react.

“Why are you here?” she returned your question with raised eyebrows. “You did not tell me you were moving here or resigning in the hospital! What happened?”

You closed the door and quietly walked back to your messy living room since you knew she would follow. She did and continued,

“I saw the shift schedule like two hours ago and you’re not there. I had to ask Gail and she said you resigned. You were not answering my calls or messages! I had to call Julia. Then, she told me you moved here– What the fuck happened? I was only busy for like two weeks and next thing I know, my best friend’s in another city and hospital.”

You sat on your grey couch while Jisoo still stood in front of you. You looked away as your replied,

“Well, actually I’ll be working in a school–”

Jisoo’s tone went higher, “What?!”

“I applied as a school nurse–”

“No, no, no.” she shushed you. “Tell me everything that happened. Everything.”

So you did. But first, you asked her to sit down next to you. You ordered food by app as you don’t really have any stock of food at the moment. While you were waiting for the food, you began telling her about what happened. From how you met Lily to how you happened to be where you are right now. Jisoo listened intently. As you went on, you noticed her shoulders and facial expression softened up. From her jaw being clenched tight, her lips were formed into a slight frown. You tried not to cry throughout the whole story-telling impromptu but your voice did shake and you just felt your best friend’s warm hands somewhere in the middle of your story. At the end, you find yourself leaning your head on her shoulder while she leans hers on top.

“I and Joon just decided to go on honeymoon next month. Plus, I have a toaster and an air fryer in my car.” Jisoo broke the comfortable silence you two shared with a random sentence.

You lifted your head, looking at her, “What? Why?”

“We received like a ton of it from the wedding. We had to give some stuff away rather than selling it and I just knew your place is probably still empty. So I just bought some. I have plates too.” she smiled.

“But what if I was the one who gave you that toaster?” you asked, squinting your eyes.

“You did not.” she chuckled but your expression didn’t change. She blinked and asked with a feeble voice, “You did not, right?”

Your lips broke into a smile, “Yeah, we didn’t.”

She pouted before you two laughed and hugged. Just like that, you and Jisoo are okay.

Unlike any of your past decisions, nothing was truly planned when you decided to move away. Aunty Belle, whom you visit every now and then, comforted you about it and said that life just happens like that sometimes. And that’s how your two years went. Unplanned. You just applied for the first good job you saw, which happened to be being a school nurse in a preschool. You moved to another apartment after just a few months since your initial place is farther on the subway you always take to get to the school every morning.

Working with kids, you always miss your patients back in Seoul. Particularly, Naeun, whom you are still in contact with. You visit her a couple of times when you go to Seoul.

And there were times when you thought you saw Taehyung. Not just in Seoul, but also in Incheon. The first one was just months after you left, you were on your way to preschool when you saw him in the subway. But you thought it was just a look-alike and impossible since he would not have any reason to come here. Plus, you were feeling a little down that week as it was supposedly your fifth anniversary. The next time is when you come to Seoul to visit Naeun. It was a busy Sunday and you stopped by a toy store in the mall to get a gift for your favorite patient. It was a bit crowded since it was on sale. So you lost him in the blink of an eye.

The most recent one is when you came to Seoul for Julia’s birthday. You had a few drinks with your friends and everything was already slightly blurry. But you swore you saw him when you were waiting for your Uber late at night. You were with Julia, who was waiting with you just to make sure you’d be safe. She was talking about something but your eyes caught a man walking on the other side of the road with his head down on his phone. The small light coming from his screen made you recognize him. It’s him, you’re sure.

Although you have visited the city a couple of times already, you never drop by the bakeshop or the house. You never even contacted Taehyung. There were times it crossed your mind. But you never did. You miss him. God knows, how much. But you don’t know what to say about the house, him, you, or the relationship you two had.

You and Jimin talked seldomly. The first one was a week after you and Taehyung officially went separate ways. He would ask how are you and you would do the same thing. You were surprised but happy at the same time when you learned he had a kid, who happens to be Jisoo’s nephew. You two had this unspoken rule to not talk about Taehyung because Jimin doesn’t bring him up and you are too shy to ask. But you know they are doing well, you heard they expanded the shop.

In the whole two years, Taehyung never really left your mind. It’s hard. Especially when you would still get random reminders of your relationship in unexpected ways. In what was supposed to be your fifth anniversary, you got a scheduled e-mail from his account. Every year, your phone calendar still updates you to buy him a gift a month before his birthday. And just like last month, you found an old picture in one of your bags. Something you probably slipped there long ago. It’s a picture taken years ago during your first snow in your house with a handwritten caption, TOO MORE SNOWY DAYS TOGETHER. It was in his handwriting.

“Goodbye, Nurse YN!”

A little kid waved his little hand to you while his mom politely smiled at you. You waved back and continued walking back from your small clinic. This is how your day ends in school: tiny voices saying goodbye and sometimes giving you warm hugs. You were never really busy since you worked with two other school nurses who you became friends with. 

“Oh, hey, YN.”

You just sat in front of your computer screen, recording some student’s health records, when your co-nurse popped into your shared office. Martha just found her recent hobby a couple of months ago after you told her that you haven’t been dating for the last couple of years.

You exaggeratedly sighed and did not even look at her, “What do you want?”

“YN sounds so tired of you already.” Aileen, your other co-nurse, laughed while organizing her files.

“I know, she is.” Martha chuckled. She turns to you, “I know a guy…”

You paused from what you were doing, “Martha–” 

It’s not like you’re not interested in dating. It took you more than a year to be open again to the idea and so far, you’ve gone into two dates from Martha’s recommendations. But both were not a match. The first one is a great guy but he seems like he cannot get over an ex since he talked about her half of the time. While the second guy is just rude. That’s all you can say about him. The date was all about him not liking how the steak was cooked and how one of the waiters was too kind to you. It was horrible.

“No, no, honey. Listen to me first.” Matha cuts you off. “I personally know this guy. He’s my cousin and… he also works in the medical field! He’s a doctor.”

An eyebrow raised. A doctor? Well, you never dated one before. But you knew doctors were better than that last guy you mentioned.

Aileen joined, “Is he the one you showed me earlier?

“Yup,” Martha replied, popping the ‘p’ sound.

“Oh, you’ve got to see him, YN. The guy is gorgeous!” she exclaimed. “If you won’t date him, I will!”

The three of you laughed. Of course, Aileen can’t. She is currently seven months pregnant with her second child and married to one of the teachers in this same preschool.

“Just don’t tell Seb,” she added, mentioning her husband.

You still haven’t said anything even though you are admittedly interested. Martha pulled her phone out.

“Wait, I’ll show you his account.”

“Oh, that dress suits you perfectly!”

Jisoo’s voice filled your room as you fixed the dress on your body. Even though you two are in different cities, she is still your go-to every time you need to dress up for something. Usually, through Facetiming. The date is fine-dining. So, you tried on different dresses for Jisoo to pick on and eventually, you two agreed on the same one.

“Don’t forget your coat! It might get cold,” she advised. “Now, turn around again!”

You giggled before doing what she said. You heard her cheer and compliments, making you smile.

“You are stunning!”

“Thank you so much for helping me, Jiji,” you said with a small smile.

“You’re welcome. Just have fun, okay? Let me know how it goes later.” she told you and you nodded. She spoke again, “Now, go! Book that Uber already.”

“Okay, okay. Bye! Call you later. Love you!” you waved.

She waved back, “Love you, take care!”

You ended the call and moved to another app to look for a ride. Your date initially asked if you wanted him to pick you up. But you just agreed to meet him at the restaurant he invited you to. He seems nice. Martha said her cousin has been single for a while now. After his last relationship, he just gave most of his time to work.

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi! I’m on my way. See you there.

You sent your date the message when you finally got in the car you booked twenty minutes ago. It did not even take a few minutes before he replied,

From +82 65 78** ****

Okay, see you there! Take care.

Pursing your lips, you look outside the window of the moving car. You hope for the best for tonight. You hope Martha’s recommendation is at least okay this time. Maybe the universe could prove to you that Taehyung is not the only guy in the world who could make the butterflies play around in your stomach. Or the only guy who would be patient enough with your tendencies. You just have to know that he is not the only guy in the world. Period.

As much as you won’t say it, dating Taehyung for four years made him your standard for everything. You already met two versions of him; one before the accident and one after the accident. They are almost the same person but the latter just brought you a lot of pain because of various circumstances. But you know and feel he shows his emotions in other ways.

“We’re here.” the female driver, whom you saw is Val, said as she stopped the car in front of the brightly lit restaurant.

You smiled before getting out of the vehicle, “Thank you.”

Starry Night lives up to its name. As you noticed before, the whole place is lit up with many lights. Carefully, you walked inside with your strappy heels. The staff smiled and greeted you, and you greeted them back.

“Good evening, madam. Welcome to Starry Night. How may I help you?”

“I have a reservation under Jung Hoseok’s name.” you politely replied.

“Oh, okay. Let me check our list. Excuse me.” the host scrolled down his iPad for a minute. “The name’s here! Please, follow me to your table. This way please.” 

You followed him while looking around the place. It’s not too crowded and it has a romantic feeling because of the lights and jazz music. You know someone who would have loved to go here. Before you sit down, the host assisted you with the chair and offered to take your coat. You agreed. Pulling out your phone from your purse, you update Hoseok that you just arrived. You put your phone down and studied the whole place again with your eyes. 

A woman caught your eye. She was talking and chatting with the chef in the side station. They looked like they were waiting for someone to enter the door. Your gaze were broke off when someone spoke from your side.

“Good evening, ma’am. My name is Soojin and I’ll be your waiter for tonight. Would you like to order something?” the young waiter smiled.

“Oh, I’m still waiting for my date…” you murmured. “But can I have some water please?”

“Certainly, ma’am. Excuse me.”

Soojin left as you said thank you. As she was gone from your sight, your eyes landed on the man who was entering the restaurant. Dressed in a nice black coat over a light blue shirt, you quickly recognize him. Your mouth runs dry while your heart beats like a horse’s footsteps in a race. You were frozen.

What is he doing he– Fuck.

Your eyes meet. You can see his eyes widening as his lips gaped slightly. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down while you practically lost your hearing. All you can hear is the drum inside your chest.

Fuck, you cursed again.

What are the chances for this to happen? Is the universe playing or simply fucking with you? You asked for a great date and it gave you this. The man you’ve been holding as your standard ever since. 

It burns.

His eyes. You can feel them as you take a sip from the ice-cold glass of water. After the host led him to one of the empty tables in your line, your eyes traveled everywhere except on his spot. You two were literally just an empty table apart.

Is he here for a date? Why here? In Incheon, really? Can’t he just date people from Seoul?

It has been nine minutes, you’ve been counting. Your hand rests on your knee, to stop your knees from jerking up and down, while the other rests on the table with your phone. You’ve been texting but erasing messages to Hoseok. You don’t think you can do this. With Taehyung being just a few feet away from you, it felt wrong to be with someone else. You should have been sitting right in front of him.

Slowly, you try to move your eyes in his direction. You paused when you saw that he was staring at you too, unmovable. Are you supposed to smile? Wave? Nod. just nod. You were about to do that when the same woman from the side station walked up to him, covering your view of him.

“Hi, good evening!” you heard her honey-like voice greet him. “I’m Ashley.”

You noticed Taehyung stood up. They shake hands and you don’t really hear the rest of their conversation. You began texting your date,

To +82 65 78** ****

Hi. Where are you?

You’ve been alone for a while now.

Taehyung noticed. The glass of water on your table is almost empty. The waiter already come back to you a couple of times now. He can see you chewing on your lower lip as you check your phone every minute that passes by.

Did your date just stand you up?

His hands clutched as he thought of that idea. He knew you didn’t deserve that.

“I think this is good! Not too sweet, not too spiced. It’s soft too. Just perfect.” Ashley snapped him from his thoughts.

Taehyung tried to concentrate on what he originally meant to do here, “Yeah… uhm… Jimin, my friend, really tries to balance the texture and taste. It’s his own carrot cake recipe that he worked on before we even had the shop.”

Ashley already had a taste of every cake he brought. Five open Tupperware are on their table, including the cheesecake you love. She began talking about the other cakes and dessert while Taehyung stole some glances at you again. This time, you are on call. You pursed your lips before replying to whoever it was. He can read the disappointment through your eyes as your lips form into a small frown. You sighed before saying, it’s fine, I understand. No problem. 

“Okay, these are really good. I think your products will be a great addition to our menu.” Ashley spoke again. 

Taehyung looked at her with surprise, “Oh, wow. That’s… great.”

Did he just get this deal?

“Yeah, I trusted my chef when he said he had the best Tiramisu in your shop and I’m glad I did. These desserts are perfect and really satisfy my sweet tooth.” She compliments.

Taehyung bowed his head, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Your desserts deserve to be everywhere. Haven’t you guys thought of opening a branch here?” she asked.

“Oh, we’re still figuring things out. We just expanded our main shop in Seoul.” he chuckled.

“Well, I might go there when I visit Seoul.”

“Please do and let us know.” he smiled.

“I will. By the way, the contract is not ready now. But we are definitely having this deal! Can you and Jimin visit here again next week or maybe me and my head chef can visit your shop in Seoul?” Ashley offers.

“I still have to discuss that with my friend.”

“Oh, sure. Sure. Here, we are okay with any decision. Just let us know. You guys have our e-mail and numbers, right?” Taehyung nods. “Okay, I guess… that’s a done deal.”

Ashley stood up and offered her hand. Taehyung stood up too and shook her hand. 

“Thank you so much.” Taehyung smiled.

While Ashley replied, he stole another glance behind her. That’s when he sees you standing up and walking back to the host at the entrance of the restaurant. The host had an apologetic look on his face as you talked to him. He helped you with your coat. It seems like you’re leaving with your date being a no-show. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be rude. But I would have to go for now..” Taehyung carefully said.

Ashley smiled, “Oh, of course. Yes. You can go. But one more thing… can you leave these cakes?”

Taehyung chuckled with that, “Of course!”

“Thank you! See you in the contract signing!”

“See you.” 

Taehyung took his coat from his seat and left in a hurry. You were already gone, possibly out of the restaurant. He said thank you to the staff who opened the door for him and he immediately searched around. That’s when he sees you standing, looking down at your phone.

“This one’s just a few minutes away–”

He took a deep breath before saying, “YN?”

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise​ @tannies-luv @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18 @telepathytae @talkyoongitome

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild1 @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @ficluvr613 @misshale21

[funkycatbruh]

for what it's worth [2/3] (jjk)

pairing: jeon jungkook x reader

genre: angst, fluff (this comes in a bit later), light smut, college student!reader x crush!jungkook

summary: you make an awful revelation about your crush of two years.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: kinda angsty because yaknow unrequited love and stuff like whew i could never

note: im SORRY it took me a year to release this :(

1 - 2 - 3

Every millisecond of the drive back to campus was torturous. At times, you felt like your throat was closing up. You had to sit on your hand to stop it from cracking a window open.

You think you might’ve experienced your first ever anxiety attack.

All Jungkook’s genuine attempts at holding a conversation with you were shot down mercilessly.

It was almost as if all the admiration you had for him turned into pure hatred for a moment.

Terrified that you would break down in front of the man whom you supposedly creep out, you kept your mouth shut the entire time.

You’re thankful for the timing of the universe. Had you proceeded to confess your feelings to him, you’d have humiliated yourself to death. You’d have had to dig yourself a hole and bury your head in it for a really long time. Or hibernate in the blast chiller like a stupid little snail.

Even if you had a minuscule percentage of a chance with Jungkook, Jia has destroyed it all by telling him about ‘your’ crush.

Although he didn’t seem to have recognised you as the ‘creep’, you can’t help but wonder. What if he knew about you? Maybe he didn’t recognise you without makeup? Maybe he panicked when he realised it was you.

What do you know about Jia really?

After unsuccessfully starting a conversation with you, Jungkook was staring a hole into his phone. He knows he has made you uncomfortable. But, which part of whatever he said did the trick?

He panicked. Jungkook wasn’t supposed to tell you (or anyone) about him and Jia, as per Jia’s desperate request. While he respected it, he wondered why. On pushing her for a legitimate answer, she finally told him about the ‘creep with a schoolgirl crush’ and how she was friends with said ‘creep’ and didn’t want to be in her bad books.

Albeit strange, Jungkook assumed it was dangerous for Jia to be publicly known as his girlfriend. He thought that maybe it’d have put a target on her back.

He didn’t mean to blurt it all out in front of you. It was like his mouth had a mind of its own. He couldn’t stop himself from spilling the beans. And then he made it worse by indirectly calling you a creep. He did take it back, but it must’ve been uncomfortable for you regardless.

And maybe that’s why you won’t respond to his attempts to chat.

He really didn’t want to burden you but he has to let you know--- “You know, it’s a relief to finally tell someone about Jia.”

“Hm?” You abruptly turned your head sideways to face him.

“Jia. It feels good to be able to talk to someone about the girl I’m dating. We never really planned on telling anyone actually.”

‘Yeah, while you’re at that, stick a knife in my chest, why don’t you?’

“I bet it does.” You exhale with a forced smile.

Jungkook turns his body towards you, “_____.” He called out. You instinctively make eye contact with him. “Would it be too much to ask if we could keep this a secret from Jia?”

Before you could process exactly what he asked of you, you involuntarily held your breath at the thought of sharing a secret with him. Just the two of you.

And Jia.

You frown.

The thought of Jia breaks you out of your reverie. You have got to pull yourself together.

Perhaps Jungkook wasn’t too far off with the ‘creep’ thing.   

“Whatever you want.” You immediately look away. Honestly, he probably could’ve gotten you to agree to shave your head if he wanted to.

“Really? It isn’t…?” Jungkook trailed off. “It’s okay. It’ll be as if we never met.” You assure him.

Just how far is your stupid university? It feels like forever since you got into the car with him.

“Except we have met before.” He interjects. You don’t know if he’s referring to your very first meeting at the party or the other times you’ve ‘met’ in the classes you share. Either way, Jia knows about it all.

“We sure have. But she doesn’t have to know that. If that’s what you want.” You add, “I don’t want to cause any problems for you. Just tell me what to do and I won’t question it.” With that you aim your eyes straight ahead, focusing them on the back of the passenger seat.

So much for staying grounded. You have GOT to chill. You’re worried you’ll blow your cover.

Jungkook unexpectedly laughs, “Okay. I don’t want to complicate it too much.”

“Jia doesn’t want people to know about us. And I don’t want to lose her trust. So… maybe---”

Your mouth automatically forms a pout. You really don’t want to witness his devotion to her.

“You know what, I’ll handle it. I’ll talk to her and admit I slipped up...” Jungkook waits for your reaction, but you give him nothing.

Now, you begin to feel badly about the way you’ve been acting towards him. He has done nothing to deserve your hot and cold attitude.

Jungkook has been kind to you. He complimented you, confided in you, gave you his jacket, and offered you a ride. The least you can do is not make stuff so difficult for him.

You remind yourself that your issue is with Jia and not Jungkook.

“If you’re that worried, we don’t have to mention this to her.” You meekly add.

“I was thinking maybe I should just tell her. Wouldn’t that be easier for you too?” Hah! You’d think.

You’re about to counter when the driver interrupts, “Non-faculty vehicles aren’t allowed to go any further than this. Is it okay if I dop you kids off here?”

Neither of you had noticed that you’d reached a few minutes ago. Your driver was kind enough to allow you to resolve your dilemma.

Your dorm was a ten-minute walk from the gate. “This is good.” You kindly smile at him.

The driver eyes you from the rear-view mirror, “This is none of my business but from experience, I can tell you that nothing good ever comes out of secrets and lies. No matter how big or small, shit gets messy.”

You and Jungkook share a look and thank your driver.

“I’ll tell her tomorrow.” He nods once, mostly to himself.

The two of you exit the vehicle together.

Something still bothered you. You swore you had a really great time with Jungkook at the freshmen mixer where you were first introduced to each other. Does he not remember you from then at all?

It’d be embarrassing if he didn’t.

What kills you the most is how you stupidly built your crush up in your head. It was just supposed to be just a fun thing for yourself, but honestly, you’re having trouble standing right now.

“Can I walk you to your room?” Jungkook interrupts your chain of thoughts.

Originally, you planned to run away from him as soon as you reached campus, but curiosity pushes your nervousness away. So, you agree to walk with him.

The first few minutes of your walk are spent in silence. It wasn’t pleasant, it was forced and awkward. Even small talk couldn’t have helped it.

Most of your life was planned. You liked having control over the situations you put yourself in. You like knowing what was going to happen the next day. You liked to organise everything. This tension and feelings of uncertainty threw you way off.

You could not bear not knowing. Still, you manage to keep your cool and fake nonchalance. This is only as big as you make it out to be.

At least now you know you wouldn’t need to buy an extra juice box tomorrow.

You made sure to reassure Jungkook that he wouldn’t get into trouble and that he wouldn’t have to worry about you talking to people about it. But, you could feel the discomfort he basically emitted from his speech to his body language.

Unconvinced that he heard you out, you tell him again. “Just so you know, you don’t have to butter me up or anything. If Jia doesn’t want your news out, so be it. I won’t tell a soul.” Because, that’d be super embarrassing for me as well. But you left that out.

Jungkook visible relaxed, with slouched shoulders and an exhale of relief, he turns to you. “Oh, thank goodness. I was hoping to keep this between us. I know it’s a pussy move, I just don’t want-“

“I already told you, it’s OK.” You abruptly cut him off, impatient because you couldn’t hear him get started on liking and respecting Jia, and disappointing Jia, and protecting Jia, or whatever was going on with the pair.

You were a little hurt when he reacted the way he did. Somewhere, you wanted him to admit he was walking you home because he cared about you or found you inciting enough to spend time with.

Why would he care? You’re actually nobody to him. You’re Jia’s _____.

(And he’s Jia’s Jungkook lol)

You continue, “I genuinely do not care.” A lie.

Jungkook stares at you with big stupid eyes. You almost feel bad for him. You know you’re confusing the fuck out of him with your hot and cold behaviour.

“You know what? I forgot I had to see the course counsellor. That’s like, in the other direction.”

Your sad excuse for an escape was welcomed by Jungkook.

“Oh! My dorm’s the opposite to that… building.” He wanted to get away from you just as much as you him. Well, that doesn’t hurt at all.

:D :D :D

I mean, you were doing the same thing to him but your reason was totally different. So, that doesn’t count.

The two of you stopped in the middle of the cold path. “So, okay.” He started, “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah! See you!” You faked enthusiasm.

After a two second lag, you both awkwardly shuffle around each other.

“Bye!” You abruptly brisk walk in the direction of your dormitory, the very direction you weren’t supposed to be heading to.

Jungkook stands dumbfounded with his hand midway in the air. In fact, he had no clue you were trying to avoid him. He really meant that his dorm was opposite to the counsellor’s office.

Still, he doesn’t think too much of it.

Jungkook checks his phone to see a few text messages from his girlfriend, asking him about his plans for the week.

He promptly cleared his evenings for Jia and continued walking away from the spot you both stood at.

Later that night, while he FaceTimed her, he kept going back to the moment you greeted him. For some reason, he couldn’t stop thinking about you; as one would after such an awkward interaction.

Jungkook sneakily prods. “Babe, that friend you keep talking about?”

Unsuspectingly, Jia instantly says your name. “_____?”

“Hm…” He affirms.

After a few seconds of silence from Jungkook’s side, Jia irritably bit her inner cheek.

“What about _____?” She pushes.

“Oh, sorry- lost connection. I was saying I met her today.”

“What do you mean? What for?” Jia’s brain starts creating all the scenarios she was afraid would take place.

“We were stranded at the bus stand so we hitched a cab ride together...” Jungkook trails off as if he’s in deep thought.

“Did she do anything to make you uncomfortable?” She asks, worried.

“No, it wasn’t like that. I offered. I think I might’ve made her uncomfortable.”

Now, Jia was impatient, “Can you tell me what happened exactly? What did she say to you?”

Now, Jungkook was a little taken aback.

“Babe. You know I really like you, right?” Jungkook begins.

Jia pouts, “Where is this going?”

“Just…” Jungkook opened his mouth, deliberately delaying the conversation.

“Kook… something happened?” Jia involuntarily rubs up and down her arms.

He blurts, “I may or may not have told her about us. BUT, but-” – “YOU WHAT?”

Jungkook looks at his screen with wide eyes, “But I only let it slip because I thought you told her. She even said she didn’t care enough to tell anyone.”

“Oh? She said that?” Jia’s brows furrowed, both in concern and anger. Jungkook reads her expression and sighs. “She didn’t say it like that.” He repeats.

“No wonder she hasn’t responded to my texts yet. She’s supposed to fucking proofread my assignment for tomorrow. I’m so screwed.” Jia exasperates. Jungkook tilts his head. Has he really messed up? “I’m sorry, baby. Is it so bad I told her? What’s wrong with her knowing?”

Jia shook her head.

“Jungkook, GOD I wish you were with me. I’m so tense I think I need to be fucked so I can forget this ever happened.”

Jungkook smirked, “Well… I don’t have to be physically present with you to make you lose your mind.”

Jia’s mouth drops open a little. She thinks she might just start drooling at the sound of his voice.

“Now where is that Bluetooth controlled-” – “It’s already on me.” She blurts, knowing exactly what he’s about to do to her.

“Oh? Wow, my girl is so naughty. Is this what you wanted from me tonight?”

And, then you were long forgotten.

Well, until later that same night.

Before dozing off, he spent the remaining of his day replaying what had happened. He thought about the way your mood dropped after getting into the taxi and the way your eyes wandered everywhere but to him. He doesn’t know if you realised it, but you muttered a lot of words under your breath. Some of them being loud enough for him to hear.

Jungkook’s thoughts were zeroed in on you.

His mind went in and out of so many black holes, that he even thought of the possibility of you being what Jia tried to shield their relationship from. Even though they were all afterthoughts, one thing was for sure. You had caught his attention.

[funkycatbruh]

Set Me Free || myg

min yoongi x female reader

Summary: Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to? Word Count: 14,377 Genre: friends to enemies to lovers, supernatural au, witch & familiar au, soulmate au, angst, fluff Warnings: death of a parent (brief mention), drinking, soulmate breakup, smooching

Notes: banner by @itaeewon. thank you to @daechwitatamic and @oddinary4bts for beta-ing and listening to me struggle my way through this. as always.

Posting October 21, 2023, 8pm EDT

new teaser under the cut

It’s cold. The late autumn wind rustles through amber-brown-orange-yellow leaves, swirling the fallen ones into little tornadoes that scuttle across the pavement. The cold doesn’t bother Yoongi, necessarily. It’s been a while since he’s been here, in this town, on this street, but even after so much time, his body remembers the chill of November in the same way his feet remember the way to his destination. He shoves his hands deep into his pockets and pauses at the street corner.

It’s strange being back here. He’d once known this neighborhood so intimately, he could map it in his sleep. Not much has changed in the almost 13 years he’s been gone. The park on the corner is the same. The playground, massive to an eight-year-old with a near-infinite imagination, stands resolute, its plastic and paint sun-faded and weathered. Further up the block, the head of the trail that snakes its way through the forest, where he’d spent countless hours playing pirates as a kid and exploring as a teen. And there, at the end of the street, is his destination.

The closer he gets, the more his stomach roils with nerves. Thirteen years since he’d walked down this sidewalk. Thirteen years since he’d walked onto that front porch. Or rather, 12 years, 5 months, and 11 days. 

But who’s counting?

There’s a light on in the front room of the house, he can see it through the big window despite the shades being pulled closed. He hesitates. He’s spent days–no, weeks–playing out in his head how this was going to go. In a moment, he’ll know if any of those scenarios were correct. And frankly, right now, he’s terrified. 

What if you start to cry? What if you slam the door in his face? What if you hug him? What if you yell at him? What if you don’t answer? What if you want to talk? What if you never want to see him again? What if you invite him in? What if you have someone over?

He takes a deep breath and knocks.

it's finally here! I'm so excited to share this with you. I'd love to know your thoughts and whether or not you're excited!! there's so much more I wanted to include, but maybe (hopefully) there will be a part 2 somewhere down the road.

[funkycatbruh]

(re)starting over again | kth; 11

plot | Your four-year relationship with Taehyung was going well and strong. Until he was involved in a car accident, resulting to him losing some memories. By some, it means everything that happened five years ago. Things he remember? His friends, his bakeshop, and his ex girlfriend from the past. With that, you tried to keep up, restarting over again.

words | 2.8k

genres | fluff, angst, amnesia au

pairing | taehyung x reader

warning/s | -

note | AAAAND WE'RE BACK! it's been a month since the last update! consider this as a new season for mc and tae :)) u might find this chapter a little fast-paced or not idk.. let me know ur thoughts! enjoy reading <;3 ps. sorry for the errors!

main masterlist | series masterlist

A couple of years passed, two to be exact, and a lot of things happened. The bakery became more crowded. It was renovated and had a larger space instead of moving the entire bakery to another place. They began hiring extra help, usually part-time working students who used to be customers in the shop too. 

Also, turns out that Jimin has a kid. Taehyung met Jihoon just a week after his best friend learned about his existence. Jihoon is a carbon copy of his dad, Taehyung thought. His eyes disappear when he smiles. Now, they have a little baker running around the kitchen usually on weekends.

Aside from those changes, Taehyung now lives in a studio apartment just a five-minute walk away from the bakery. He moved in just weeks after you left. The said apartment is not that big, just enough for him to rest in after work. Jimin commented that he treats that place like a hotel since Taehyung didn’t really personalize it to make the ambiance like a home. The whole place was plain, not even considered minimalist. Just plain. The walls were untouched. It was off-white when Taehyung came and it remains the same now. He didn’t really bother to invest anything in the place.

The house you two bought and lived in is still being taken care of. By him. Taehyung cleans up there once a week, just in case you reach out to visit home again and maybe talk about what to do with it. And when he feels like it, which is almost rare, he sleeps on the couch in the living room. He never really entered the guest room, which became your bedroom after the accident, except the time he got home after Jisoo and Namjoon’s wedding. That room was spotless, just like how you left it. The only things you left that night were on your vanity table; your house keys, the vintage pearl ring he bought you back in the flea market, and a folded paper.

The letter says, “Feel at home, this house is yours too. Paint the walls with the colors you like, buy new furniture, and fill the frames with new memories. Just please don’t sell it. I’ll try to reach out as soon as I can. For now, live the last years you missed.”

He never painted the walls with another color as he found the shade of blue that spreads around the house perfect. He never bought any furniture and still kept the same ones you had. He thought it fit the theme of the house and his preference. And yes, the picture frames show the same photos they originally had. It felt home that way for him. But he chose to move to the apartment because he always felt like he was missing something. The house is cozy and comfortable. But whenever he tries to lie on supposedly his bed, it feels empty. Once, he tried playing jazz music around the house, but it just got lonelier so he turned it off and just continued cleaning.

But he did try to keep up and look back at the things he forgot through his friends and the things he found at the house. Jimin, Namjoon, and sometimes Jisoo were patient with his questions. Jisoo, your best friend, was understandably distant from him at first after you went away. But she adds details to the stories Namjoon tells and later, became amiable with him. Jimin’s mom still looks after him and brings him food when she visits the city. There were a few times she mentioned Taehyung’s mother but he didn’t really care about her. So he ignores it.

“You know, you’re a handsome man. Don’t you have any lady?”

One of their common customer, a man in his seventies once asked him. It was not the first time someone asked him such a thing. He always shakes his head with a smile as an answer. It would lead later with an offer to meet someone they know. Taehyung would shyly and kindly decline these offers, saying he really doesn’t feel like dating for now. It’s true. The idea of him dating someone else felt wrong. It was like his own body rejected the idea as he felt uneasy with that thought.

“So, it’s that time of the year.”

Taehyung was pulling his third pan of cheesecake out of the hot oven with his oven gloves when he heard Ava, their longtime part-time staff, say that. She sounded amused but not surprised. He looked up and saw her leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed. She had a smug smile on her face. 

“I swear, you should just declare this particular day as Cheesecake and Banana Bread Day just to make it official,” she added, teasing.

Taehyung looked at her, unimpressed, “It’s selling. In fact, my cheesecakes are one of our best sellers here… What are you doing here anyway? Go back to the front.”

He scolds her, she just rolled her eyes, unbothered.  Ava was one of the students who knew Taehyung even before his accident. She went from being a loyal customer to a reliable staff of the shop. She has been enjoying the pastries in the shop ever since she was twelve and now, sixteen, she also enjoys getting into small banters with her older bosses. She is usually candid, and not shy to share her thoughts. Taehyung sees her as a little sister most time.

Given that she began working here after you left, Ava doesn’t really have an idea why Taehyung bakes a few batches of cheesecake and banana loaves on this specific date. She doesn’t know you and that you are celebrating your birthday today. Taehyung learned about that fact after his phone notified him weeks after you went. Since then, he has baked your favorites on your special day. 

It’s the third time now. It’s probably a slim chance but he hoped to see you around the bakeshop, enjoying pastries. But so far, he hasn’t seen you around. In fact, he hadn’t even heard from you ever since that night. He thought he saw you a year ago in the subway when he came to Incheon to go sightseeing, but he lost you before he could take a second glance. He didn’t know where you moved since he respects your space but he wondered if you really moved that far. He wonders about you every now and then. 

Jisoo posted a short clip in her Instagram Stories months ago. It’s just a clip of a long trail and he swore he heard you in the background noise of that clip, telling your best friend how tired you are from hiking. Then, the clip ended.

“Not because it’s best selling you would make a ton of it. It’s something about demand and supply– I don’t know,” she conceded, breaking Taehyung’s train of thought. “Anyway, I’m here because someone called on the phone, asking for you.”

Taehyung’s heart stopped for a second. His hopes almost blasted out of his soul but he tried to stay calm before asking Ava, “Who is it?”

“I don’t know. But it’s a woman. They said they want to specifically talk to you.” she replied, unaware that the man in front of him was holding his breath. She continued, “They are actually waiting on call right now.”

Taehyung almost sprinted to the front desk of the shop. Still in his mint green oven gloves, he reached for the telephone. His heart is beating fast while his gut is twisting tight. He paused when he realized he had nothing to say. He doesn’t know what to say if it’s you. Are you going to talk about the house? Should he greet you with Happy Birthday first and offer you your favorite cheesecake? Maybe you won’t like– Stop.

Taehyung took a deep breath before exhaling. He spoke, “Hello, this is Kim Taehyung, co-owner of The Sweet Spot. How can I help you?”

“Oh, hi.” 

His heart dropped. Okay, relax. He told himself. It’s not you.

There were nights when Taehyung would find himself awake. And tonight is one of those nights. He just lay on his bed, staring at the blank ceiling. He always had trouble falling asleep, maybe a side effect of his accident. He doesn’t know anymore. But he knows that it makes his head go crazy with random thoughts when times like this happen. And now, he thought of something.

That’s when he picked up his phone and keys, along with his coat. He drove away from his apartment. 

The bell above the door rang when he entered the convenience store to pick up a few beers and chips. His cold hands stayed in his coat’s pockets as he looked around the store, waiting for the clerk to scan his stuff. Just when the worker was about to say the prince, the bell clung again.

“No, wait. I’m just really hungry. Wait for me… Yes, I have money here.”

Everything went quiet and suddenly all that he could hear was that voice. Your voice. He’s sure of that. He looked back and saw a woman’s back going into one of the aisles. His heart raced once again. You’re here?

“Dude, you okay?” the tired clerk asked, looking at him with heavy bags under his eyes.

Taehyung looked at him, and broke out of his headspace, “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry.”

He pulled out his cash and paid. He can still hear your voice like you were talking with someone on your phone.

“Do you want anything– Oh, the honey-butter chips I want ran out of stock.”

Taehyung looked at the chips in his hand. He looked at the clerk who also looked at him like they understood each other without saying anything. Taehyung placed the chip back on the counter.

“Just give this to the girl,” he whispered before turning his back.

He didn’t look back. A cool blow of wind brushed on his face when he walked out the door. For a second, he inhaled and exhaled again to calm his nerves. He got in his car, putting the pack of beer on the other seat. As he started the car, his eyes landed on the side mirror. 

Yes, it’s you. Definitely.

You just walked out of the same store, still on your phone, as you walked away grinning with your honey butter chips. You walked on the other end of the pathwalk. Taehyung pursed his lips and drove away.

His lips remained sealed but his head was exploding with questions. That was the closest he had seen you since the night you said goodbye. How are you? Why are you in the city? Did you live around here? It can’t be. Jisoo told him you left the hospital you used to work at. 

Instead of driving back to his apartment, Taehyung ended up parking in front of your deserted house. He had his beer with him as he turned the key on the doorknob. He stepped into the said home feeling colder even though he still hadn’t removed his coat.  He placed the drink on the center table in the living room and plugged in the TV for background noise. He put on a random show, which happens to be FRIENDS. 

Opening a can, he sat on the couch, pulling a couple of books he left under the same table. Photo albums and scrapbooks. You never told him such things exist in here, he just found them after cleaning around the house. It was personalized by you and him. He could tell by the design and handwritten captions. 

Almost everything was documented through photos and other knick knacks like receipts from a movie you two saw together. Browsing through the pages of it, it felt like looking at other people’s relationships even though he was in the photos himself. In one of the photos, he saw himself with a camera. He didn’t even know he had one. He tried searching around the house for it but he never found it. 

You had more solo portraits in the said books than him. He figured out why. Maybe he really loved capturing you as his subject. You looked the same in every picture: happy and in love. Most of your pictures were candid, taken without you knowing. Then, a handwritten date by him will be seen below it. Each photo was adorable. Some are just random ones. You were brushing your teeth or showing off your colorful scrubs (which was written in the caption: BOUGHT HER YELLOW DUCKIES SCRUBS I THINK SHE LIKES IT).

Taehyung spend his sleepless nights like this, looking back at what he missed. He read through articles before that the possibility of getting his memories back is a hit or miss. So he learned to just go on and maybe accept how things became. He tries to move forward at the same time he tries to look back. It’s quite confusing sometimes.

IT’S HER… I’M SURE 

That was the caption in one photo of you dating just weeks after you two moved into this house. In the picture, your back was turned as you sat in front of your vanity table. You can be seen fixing your hair while looking at your reflection. Taehyung’s eyebrow raised with the caption. He wondered what it meant. He turned the page to the next one but was greeted with nothing but a blank page. Turns out, that was the most recent one.

“The main branch of their restaurant is somewhere in Incheon. I’ll send you the address after the call.” 

Taehyung listened to Jimin through a loudspeaker call. His hair is still damp from a shower. Standing in front of the mirror, he compares two coats that would suit the rest of his outfit. He felt the need to look presentable tonight.

“You will meet the owner herself, Ashley. She said you can just introduce yourself to the host and he’ll lead you to your table… Ava kept the samples in the shop. She said she put them in different Tupperware so you can spot it right away.” Jimin instructed.

“Okay, okay.”

He heard his best friend sigh on the other line, “I’m sorry for the short notice, Tae. I totally forgot Jihoon will be staying with me tonight.”

Tonight, Taehyung will be meeting a special client. It’s the one who called a couple of weeks ago, during your birthday. it‘s a big restaurant that is planning to put the bakeshop’s products on their menu for dessert. Specifically, the cakes. The head chef was the one who brought up their product to the owner, whom he will meet now. Jimin initially agreed to meet the said client but his co-parenting schedule had some shifts. Just an hour ago, Taehyung learned he’d be the one meeting the client. It’s not like he had plans anyway. So, he immediately prepared himself.

After picking the clothes, Taehyung blow-dried and brushed his hair. His best friend sent the main address minutes later and so he left his apartment. He first drove by the shop, which closed a little earlier today. A lot of cakes were made for sample. It includes Jimin’s Carrot Cake, his own cheesecake, and six other more. Taehyung left with a brown bag of the samples.

His fingers tapped with the beat of the song playing on the radio as he drove his way to the restaurant. It was a peaceful night on the road. 

This will be the first time Taehyung will be going back to Incheon since that time he went sightseeing. He stayed there for just three days before, it was days after his phone notified him about your supposedly fifth anniversary. His emotions were all over the place because of the aftermath and the demanding work in the bakeshop around that time. So he asked Jimin for a very short break. He still hasn’t got a car then so he took the subway throughout the whole time. It was during his last day there when he saw a glimpse of you in the crowded subways of that city. He remembered you were in your scrubs, your hair was cleanly kept in a low bun, and you were walking opposite of his direction. Then, he blinked. You were gone in the crowded place.

“Good evening, sir.”

Almost forty minutes later, Taehyung arrived at the restaurant, Starry Night. He was greeted by the host as he entered the elegant place. It has a great ambiance, romantic. It is a fine-dining restaurant and seems like a perfect spot for dinner dates. 

He said his name when he was asked.  And while the man looked down at his guest list, Taehyung’s eyes traveled around the place. And not even a minute in, his eyes stopped at someone who he felt had been staring at him.

His eyes widened at the sight. A stunning woman, clad in a black dress, stares back at him with surprise. His mouth ran dry, he had to gulp. Now, he’s sure. He’s sure.

It’s you.

taglist rules

RESTARTING OVER AGAIN TAGLIST [🔧🔨 ]

@iamkookiesforyou @aianloveseven @hoodalmighty @taebangtanbabe @kthsmoon @nooojaaam @hiimnothing @hiqhkey @annenakamura @taebangtanbabe @shin-ie @prlan @zzztaegizz @starlight-night0 @teddybeartaetae @http-fayeradise​ @kiwuki @tannies-luv @fuckthinking @betysotelo18 @honsoolgloss @aurorathi @paulaaa97 @satisfied18

PERMANENT TAGLIST

@dunixxd @cixrosie @jksjx @embrace-themagic @buttvi @starbtslove @missseoulite @vanntaesworld @kenqki @imajinthis @stopeatread @seolaquotes @greyrain23 @chimchimmarie @petalsofink @jayhope88 @moonchild @laylasbunbunny @nikkiordonez12 @ficluvr613 @misshale21

[funkycatbruh]

UH OH, HE’S A DILF! — #TOJI FUSHIGURO

FEM! READER X TOJI FUSHIGURO

a series of writing where in toji is that dilf.

reply to be part of the taglist !!!

didn’t think i’ll make this a series but i think i have to now, i enjoy this so much &lt;3

each fic can be read as a stand alone, ur choice

DILF IN AMUSEMENT! — #FIRST MEETING

the first time you met toji fushiguro.

DILF IN QUESTION! — #TOJI’S SECRET

you learn toji’s rightful secret.

DILF IN TROUBLE! — #TOJI’S WORK WIFE

you learn about toji’s work wife.

DILF IN JEALOUSY! — #COLLEGE BOYS

toji fushiguro hates those dumb college boys who can’t leave his pretty baby alone.

[soon] DILF IN LOVE! — #EX WIFE

you meet toji’s ex wife.

— I GOT SWEET TASTE FOR MEN WHO ARE OLDER :)

[funkycatbruh]

cherry bomb | jungkook (m)

pairing: jungkook x fem reader

summary: “get fucked or die” becomes the motto to live by when a serial killer begins targeting virgins on your campus.

genre: smut, horror/slasher, college!au

word count: 7.1k

warnings: multiple minor character deaths, blood, gore, violence (including gun and knife use), mentions of alcohol consumption. virgin-shaming and slut-shaming, oral (fem receiving), riding, virgin!reader, first-time sex, protected sex, hair-pulling, biting, fingering, dirty talk, virgin kink/corruption kink, fuckboy JK. is JK a sub or a masochist here? answer: i don’t fucking know!

a/n: inspired by the movie cherry falls (2000). heed the warnings. remember that this is fiction, not meant to be entirely realistic, and characters' views/actions don't represent my own. if this kind of content is not up your alley just block me or make use of the wonderful filtering option in your account settings

sources for the fic dividers: one | two

CHERRY BOMB

don't wanna die? come out and hook up with a sexy girl or guy.

virgins get in free!

THIS FRIDAY

NOV 3, 20XX

[address here]

"very corny." you shake your head, looking at the party flyer in your hands. you'd just torn it down from the bulletin board in your dorm lobby; unauthorized advertisements aren’t allowed, and your job as RA involves these menial-ass tasks. "this is literally life or death...why are they turning it into a joke?"

"it is a joke," your friend camille says, snatching the flyer out of your hands to look it over. "think about it. 10 students get killed since we came back in august, and the semester isn't even over yet. the school administration and local police haven't done nearly enough to address it or stop any more deaths. and the common denominator is that all these people were suspected or confirmed virgins?” you haven’t seen the evidence yourself, but the daughter of one of the local policemen claimed every victim also had virgin carved into some part of their dead body. “yeah, i'd say it's a joke to pretty much everyone at this point. this is what happens when you let the students come up with a solution."

camille hands the flyer back to you, and you hold it limply. "but...it's not like you can look at someone and tell if they're a virgin. the killer must've known them all personally. it just doesn't make sense."

"some of those people had no mutual friends. nothing connecting them whatsoever. not even shared extracurriculars. it's gotta be a perverted stalker with a fetish, maybe. a scorned hacker who somehow got into their private conversations 'n' shit? or maybe he consulted the cards to know who’d fucked before and who hadn’t.”

“oh please.” you scoff. “now you’re being completely ridiculous. tarot cards aren’t gonna tell you if someone’s a virgin or not.”

“then you come up with a better explanation. either way, these folks—" camille points to the flyer "—aren't taking their chances."

"hm..." you keep staring at the flyer, looking at the shiny-red cherries, condoms, sex toys, and other sex-related objects decorating the paper. whoever designed this really wasn't playing.

"so, are you gonna go?" camille asks with a sidelong glance. "free admittance, after all."

your neck burns under the collar of your shirt. "are you?" neither of you have had sex yet, for differing reasons. camille's reason was almost complete indifference to the whole act.

she gives you a look that says i could give a shit. "...you know the answer to that one, dear. so you're not even thinking about it? as much as you have cried to me and lorelai about not being able to find a man you like enough to give it up for, our killer here probably already knows. you practically have a ‘come kill me’ bullseye on your back.”

"i don't know," you say, because you genuinely are thinking about it. “and stop trying to fucking scare me.” despite your logical brain trying to reason with you, you still feel a sense of underlying terror about being the next victim. "the virgin killer," as they'd nicknamed the freak, clearly prefers a specific type of victim, and all kills have been random and unpredictable other than that—and the fact that every victim attended your university. he also seems partial to using a knife on his victims, but even that isn’t guaranteed—3 of the 10 had been killed in ways other than stabbing. "i don’t know why you’re so nonchalant about this, though."

camille shrugs. "if he comes for me, i'll just spray him with my illegal mace and kick his nuts into his throat. then tie him up and wait for my dad to come blow his head off. there are some advantages to having a gun nut for a dad."

you chuckle at the absurdity of it. "you've got it all planned out, then."

--

FRIDAY, NOV 3

taking a rideshare to the party was a smart idea on lorelai's part, because the two little shots you took to pre-game already have you feeling woozy. or maybe it's just your nerves.

the cherry bomb is located at a mansion that isn’t really a mansion, but a large once-abandoned house one of the fraternities fixed up years ago for throwing off-campus parties.

the party is stacked wall to wall with people when you enter, though from what you can see, no one has actually started fucking yet—maybe they're saving that for the supposed orgy later in the night. you just hope you can get someone in one of the backrooms before that happens, because you're not really keen on having everyone in your class knowing what your tits look like.

you have one simple mission here tonight—lose your long-held virginity and get off the virgin killer's radar. once that's done, you'll make your exit.

"actually, i'm surprised anyone else showed up. other than you, who wants to willingly admit that they're still a virgin in college?" lorelai shudders. you roll your eyes and try not to feel offended, sucking your teeth.

"you were more than welcome to stay back at the dorm."

"no! i'm here for moral support, plus i don't want to be alone tonight. i don't care who this killer targets, it's getting too crazy out here to just be letting your guard down anymore."

well, you won't argue that.

you and lorelai dance to the song booming over the multiple speakers, scanning the room for potential hookups all the while. you become more alert when you recognize a familiar length of black hair coming through the front door, plus the tattoos and piercings to match.

you're not surprised jungkook came. he has his pick of untouched and easily corruptible virgins here, which has always been his thing; you've heard him brag about it to his seatmates more than once in your shared elective. not to mention the stories you've heard from the women who actually fucked him. as far as you could figure, it was the usual male ego posturing bullshit about being able to say he was someone’s first—and likely best. for that reason, alarm rises when he makes eye contact and starts making a beeline for where you and lorelai are.

"oh, here comes the campus bicycle," lorelai says, voice deadpan.

you continue watching him from the corner of your eye, trying to see if he's just approaching someone in your general vicinity, but no. once he shoves his way through the crowd of dancers, some unashamedly groping at his body as he does, he stops right in front of you two.

"so, are you here for the same reason i am?" he asks you, grinning like the devil himself. "or are you looking to get that sweet little cherry popped?"

the backs of your knees sweat. "um—latter, i guess." you hadn't meant to answer that honestly, but to say you are caught off-guard is understating it. you can count on one hand the number of times you and jungkook have talked to each other in class, and never about anything of this nature.

"you're not gonna ask me?" lorelai says.

jungkook gives a hearty laugh; you didn't think it was that funny. "everyone knows you're not a virgin, why waste my time?"

"wow, okay. fuck you. you're no saint yourself." she huffs.

"anyway…" jungkook returns his attention to you. "have you really never done anything before? not even sucked a dick? there's no way someone hasn't tried to hit that. not even some 'backdoor action only' like those weird religious girls?"

"is that any of your business? i didn't know we had to give a rundown of our lack of sexual experience before getting laid around here." you snap.

jungkook's eyelids lower a fraction. "i'm tryna decide how easy i should go on you, babe. i mean, if you wanna take this in one of the rooms. otherwise, i'll let someone else have a go if you're not interested."

unfortunately, you are interested, despite his overly blunt manner and objectifying language. even though you know you’ll just become another entry on his long list of flings—someone he’ll tell his boys about later—maybe the fear of death is making you impulsive.

but maybe his looks are playing a part in it, too.

he's imposing with his physique and his all-black attire, his shirt so tight that you can clearly see his pectoral muscles and his nipples, his unbuttoned leather jacket doing nothing to hide those details. you can easily imagine yourself running your hands across those pecs, squeezing them, rubbing your fingers against his nipples and making him moan underneath you, feeling and seeing his abs contract through this stupid-ass shirt that must've been painted on. this brief fantasy immediately dampens your panties.

"…i'm interested," you affirm, dragging your gaze back up to his eyes, and he smirks from knowing you were obviously checking him out.

knowing the direction this is going in, lorelai taps you on the back and whispers in your ear. “have fun but don’t do anything stupid, yeah? i’m not playing auntie to any offspring you and this dude pop out, sis. use protection.” then she makes her exit to go find herself a partner for the night.

“so, come on.” jungkook nods his head in the direction of the stairs, and you follow him through the crowd as he leads you up the winding staircase. you squeeze past two girls kissing on the staircase railing, their motions a bit unsure as if they’ve never done it before but clearly still enjoying themselves.

jungkook pushes a few doors in until he finds an empty room, and you try not to ogle at the random couples you see along the way. not even an hour in and the two shots must be wearing off, because your body is beginning to buzz with nervousness again.

jungkook closes the door behind him when you both step into the room, which is lit by one lamp on a nightstand and the open window beside the bed. he reaches for you, and you shiver when his hand grasps the side of your face, the other snaking around your waist.

“scared?” he asks, his voice low. you shake your head, and he grins. “relax.” he leans in as if to kiss you and you part your lips, but he doesn’t do that just yet. he traces your top lip and then your bottom lip with his tongue, dipping it into your mouth as he switches. the teasing nature of his actions makes your body heat up as you watch a string of saliva spread and then break between the both of you.

he presses back in for a real kiss this time, his nose bumping yours. despite all your fears about tonight, you’re able to unwind somewhat and just focus on the full sensory experience that is this kiss—the warmth of his hands and his mouth, the sappy sound your lips make when they separate and come back together, the scent of his cologne, the taste of his spearmint-flavored tongue.

you find yourselves inching toward the bed, him walking you backwards while keeping you steady. just as the backs of your knees hit the edge of the bed, there's the sound of a woman's bloodcurdling scream from behind you, and you nearly shove jungkook to the ground in your haste to run to the door. your fingers are scrabbling at the doorknob when you hear a burst of laughter. a guy you don't recognize crawls out from under the bed holding his phone up, displaying a youtube video of the shower scene in the movie psycho, which is where the noise is coming from.

"that was funny as fuck." the guy laughs obnoxiously loud, holding his stomach. “don’t get too carefree or you just might die, girlie.”

jungkook grabs the guy by his jacket collar like he's a kid and throws him out the door; the guy doesn't object because he knows this is preferable to getting his ass beaten by the bigger man. "fuck outta here, you jackass." jungkook snaps.

jungkook stomps over to the closet to yank it open. "any more idiots in here wanna show themselves?" he checks a couple more areas before deciding the room is clear and closing the door again, locking it for good measure.

“okay.” he sighs, stripping off his jacket and shoes. he takes your hand and pulls you toward him as he sits on the bed. “relax, baby. forget about that fucking clown. come ‘ere. why don’t you sit on my lap?”

with a heavy exhale, you try to steady your still-shaking hands as you shuck your boots off and pull your dress up slightly to comfortably sit in his lap, your legs loosely wrapped around his waist.

he squeezes your waist. “so, where were we? i don’t really remember…”

you huff out a half-amused laugh. “really? i’m pretty sure it was this…” you lean forward with your hands on his shoulders and press your lips back onto his. jungkook follows in kind, his hands running up from your thighs to your waist and back again. the rhythm of his hands is hypnotic, distracting you as you try to keep most of your focus on the kiss, and you fear you may be getting overstimulated before anything has truly began.

as you continue kissing, jungkook’s hands creep your dress further up your thighs until your panties are revealed. still feeling up your legs, his hands press further toward your inner thighs, and you gasp into the kiss when his thumb pushes against the seat of your underwear. they have been damp for a while now and you know he knows this, so you aren’t surprised when he breaks the kiss to smirk, though it makes you roll your eyes.

jungkook whispers against your lips, “let’s try something. will you sit on my face?” you stare at him without a word, not expecting this to be the first thing he proposes. at your response, or lack of, he adds, “i want to make you feel good. do you want me to taste you?” his voice is so soft, so unassuming and cloying, that it makes you feel like a lamb clutched gently in the mouth of a wolf.

your brain is already surrendering to it. “yes.”

you get another kiss and a smile. jungkook moves you out of his lap, shuffles further up the bed, and lies down so that he’s flat on his back, his head surrounded by the pillows. he gestures for you to follow.

taking your time, you slide your panties off and crawl up the bed until you’re near his face and he’s lying below you looking like he’s struck gold. he grabs your hips to bring you closer until you’re right over his mouth. you’re embarrassed to have someone looking at you from this angle for the first time, and you’re about to get too into your head about it when he french kisses your inner thigh, blanking out your mind.

the only thing you know from then on is that his mouth is burning hot. his tongue is everywhere. he licks at you delicately to test the waters, and then more firmly when your thighs tremble around his head, in an effort to elicit the same response.

the way he fits his mouth over your entire pussy and sucks it with just the right amount of pressure so that it won’t hurt makes you feel faint. the way he slides the flat of his tongue over your clit only to suck it gently at the end of the stroke makes you cry out louder than you intended. you’re glad he moved further up the bed for this, because you’re holding onto the headboard for dear life.

the only things you’re aware of are your own out-of-control moans and the wet sounds of jungkook’s mouth working you over. all of it has you so overwrought that you’re already reaching your peak, your grip on the headboard weakening.

jungkook seems to know this without you telling him anything. he pauses and looks up at you with a fucked-out smirk and a wet mouth. you don’t know whether to thank him or curse him for giving you a break. “before you come, fuck my face.”

“wh-what?”

“rub that wet fucking cunt on my face.” heat flares through your body at his frank words. “grab my hair and just ride my face.” he reaches up to take your hands off the headboard and places them in his hair. “you can do it, baby. fucking use me.”

it takes you a minute to get over the fresh wave of embarrassment and find a pace that works, because the connection between your brain and body feels like it’s frying and your coordination is off. jungkook helps guide your hips, especially with how you’re trembling from pleasure and close to falling apart. soon enough, you’re letting go of yourself and moving your hips enthusiastically, if a little clumsily, and chasing your climax. you savor the feel of your clit sliding across his wet tongue and his soft hair in between your fingers, and you push his head as close as it can get.

you come while screaming, dizzyingly immersed in the pleasure. you forget that you’re holding his hair as you yank roughly on it. the only thing that matters to you is that jungkook’s mouth is still sucking your clit through the best physical sensation you’ve ever experienced.

when he finally lets go and gives you reprieve, you collapse beside him on the pillows.

“i’m sorry,” you mumble, disoriented. “about your hair, i mean?”

jungkook laughs. it’s funny how shiny-wet his face is—and that you caused it, which is kind of hard to believe in the aftermath of it. “the pain is what gets my dick hard. don’t worry.”

you chuckle breathlessly at that, and for a few seconds you both have that funny little moment to yourselves in all the ridiculousness of the overarching situation.

then jungkook’s hand is reaching for you again. “i’m not done with that pussy yet, though.” he brushes a finger over your hole, and your body twitches from the sensitivity. he slides that finger through the wetness and then uses the lubrication to push only the tip of his finger in. he dips it in and out, teasing the nerves at your entrance, until you’re shifting your hips closer to him to implore him for more. he grants your request by sliding his finger all the way inside.

having a finger inside you feels okay at first, though not as good as his actions a few seconds ago. jungkook decides to amplify your pleasure by placing his lips on your neck, leaving gentle and wet kisses behind, and you become all too aware of the feeling of your hardened nipples against the material of your dress. the pleasure begins to heighten when his finger finds a place inside of you that makes you throb, your walls clenching around him.

“ah…” you gasp and shift eagerly against his body as he keeps stimulating that spot, not thrusting his finger into you but simply stroking it across that area in a come here motion.

jungkook pulls away from your neck to smile at his handiwork. “that’s better, right?” he whispers, watching your reactions. your lips form around the word yes, though it’s difficult to try to speak, and you worry how unsteady your voice might sound. he waits until you’re clutching at his arm, leaving red lines on his skin from your fingernails, to carefully push another finger in beside the first. you try to breathe evenly, though his refusal to let up on that spot has your lungs stuttering for air all over again. his nose nudges your ear as he leans even closer and whispers, “there are so many different spots to find, so many different ways to make you come; i wanna go looking for them all.”

jungkook angles his hand so that his palm is also stimulating your clit, his fingers thrusting slowly now. you turn your head away from him as your body becomes ablaze, unsure what to do with yourself as your climax nears quickly.

“would you let me do that? learn your body like no one else has done?” he kisses the shell of your ear, and even that small action is enough to tip you closer to the edge with how your body is already so fired up. “who else could make you feel as good?”

this orgasm makes your eyes fill with involuntary tears, and little clear droplets bleed down the sides of your face and towards your ears as your body convulses. jungkook kisses the wet trails they make on your face, still fingering you steadily and forcing another urgent cry out of you. you feel untethered from yourself, like you’re not in control of your reactions, and you don’t know whether to be afraid of that or not.

jungkook pulls his fingers out when you have mostly calmed down, watching strands of your wetness drip between them before sliding them into his mouth.

after you come the second time, you begin to tire. the deeds have been done, and if you want, you can confidently go back out to the party now and say you’re no longer a virgin; you’re off the unofficial kill list and can live the rest of your days without having to look over your shoulder with every breath.

…but jungkook is hard against your hip, and in all honesty, you don’t want to leave without knowing what his dick looks and feels like.

“you tired?” he asks, and the casual air of it makes your stomach flip, for some reason. he says it as if this is something you two do all the time and he’s used to asking you this after wearing you out during a good session.

but now’s not the time to get delusional.

“no. i want more.”

jungkook smiles broadly, teasing his lip ring with his teeth. he sits up to peel that skin-tight shirt off, and you don’t bother to stop yourself from staring at all that skin in front of you. your eyes drop further down when he removes his belt and undoes his jeans, pushing his pants and underwear down enough for you to see his v-line but not taking them off. is that an invitation for you to do it? "you hold the reins here," he says, lying back on the bed again. "do whatever you want to me."

“whatever i want?” you repeat, already sitting up. he nods, hands behind his head, and you take the initiative to straddle him again, knowing you’re getting his jeans wet.

you reach for his pecs first, just like you’d imagined downstairs. the firm muscle of them is mesmerizing; but when you slowly circle your thumb against his nipple and his eyes flutter, a small and breathy moan escaping his lips, you’re sure you enjoy this much more.

you play with his nipples and even work up the boldness to purse your lips around one, sucking it softly, and every noise that arises from him makes your clit tingle.

you eventually move your hands to his abs, enjoying how they flex at your touch. you didn't think his navel would be pierced, not hearing that detail in any of the sex tales you've eavesdropped on about jungkook, and you wonder what else you might find out about him tonight.

“you should do your nipples to match.” you suggest it without much thought as you’re teasing his navel piercing, though you don’t regret saying it.

“would you be into that?” jungkook sounds like he’s actually considering it, watching you from below his lashes.

you grin. you don’t know if you’ll actually end up having sex with him again to see them, but you answer, “i’d love it…it’d be sexy on you.”

sliding your hands further down still, you come to the waistband of his underwear, which is peeking over the top of his lowered jeans. for a second the nervousness returns; jungkook notices how your hands twitch with hesitation. “it’s fine, i’m not gonna bite you…unless you ask me to, though. here.”

he slips a hand into his underwear and grips his dick, though he doesn’t take it out right away; he strokes the shaft a few times, observing your reaction with expectant and hazy eyes. the scene before you makes your mouth dry. jungkook quickens his pace, twisting his hand at the tip and using his own precum as lube, until you are overcome with the desire to see it and you pull his underwear out of the way.

his cock is thick and flushed and glossy with precum. you don’t have much to compare it to, but it’s a good size, and all the previous women have said that he clearly knows what to do with it. he releases it and it slaps against his abs, leaving a streak of precum behind. when you look at him in anticipation of what he’ll do next, he grasps it again and starts stroking himself quickly, like he’s trying to get off. the wet slap of his motions and his quiet groans make your walls clench.

“i could keep fucking myself and you could watch, since you seem to prefer it…” he murmurs.

“no, i—let’s go all the way.”

jungkook smirks and answers your decision by pulling a condom out of his jean pocket. you watch as he unwraps it and slips it down his cock. though you’re already straddling him, he grasps your wrist and encourages you to draw nearer to him. “come here, pretty thing.”

when you’re hovering directly over him, jungkook grips the base and teases his tip against your entrance. “ready?” he asks.

“yeah,” you say breathlessly.

it’s a little slow-going, but you eventually end up with him seated inside you. it’s uncomfortable to be taking something bigger than a couple fingers, but it isn’t terribly painful.

“now, try moving your hips like this…” with his hands on your hips, jungkook helps you grind against him so that your clit slides across his pubic bone with every move. the discomfort begins to ebb out of your mind after a little while of doing this, and you laugh quietly.

“i thought…i thought this doesn’t feel good for men,” you sigh, your eyes closing from the bliss of his firm abdomen stimulating your clit. “this grinding thing, you know. or so a friend told me…”

jungkook laughs too, but he doesn’t confirm it like you expect him to. his only answer is, “a sexy woman on my dick will always feel good.”

he seems to be more about showing than telling, anyway. his hands reach for your breasts, groping them over the fabric of your dress before sliding underneath for better access. sporadic moans escape you as he plays with your nipples, making your clit throb harder and sending more warmth pooling in your abdomen.

your breath wheezes out of you when jungkook starts pushing up into you, his hands still squeezing your breasts. “you’re okay, baby…” he tries a few different angles until he pulls a visceral reaction out of you, your walls fluttering around him and your body shivering intensely. “mmm, there it is.”

your motions start tapering off as jungkook continues thrusting up against that same spot that had you in tears earlier. noticing this, he slips one hand back down to your hip and encourages you to maintain your pace, keeping your clit stimulated while meeting his thrusts. “you’re doing good…” he murmurs. “go ahead, keep fucking me just like that.”

you’re glad lorelai makes you go to the campus gym with her every week, because otherwise you’d be about to collapse riding him for this long. it takes more of your strength and stamina than you’d expected. no wonder jungkook stays in the gym.

“oh, fuck…” the way all his muscles flex as he repeatedly pushes up into you makes you wetter; you no longer have the wherewithal to be embarrassed about the gushy noises your pussy is creating. your whole world has whittled down to this one room, and all you can think about is your next orgasm.

“pull my hair again,” he requests, his eyes dark and lost in lust when he looks up at you.

"jungkook..." you grip his sweaty hair in your hand and pull it to bare his throat, and he gives a desperate moan, his member jerking inside you. you've never felt so in control of a situation before in your life. it gives you a straight adrenaline-slash-dopamine rush.

his neck is just there and exposed, flushed from exertion, and his physical responses make you feel so primal, like you could do absolutely anything to him right now and he’d enjoy it. because of this, you decide to bite his neck, if only to give your mouth something to do. his dick twitches again when you do, another pretty moan leaving his mouth.

his voice is strained when he says, “bite me harder.” when you let go, your mouth travels the expanse of his neck to leave marks in a few other places, digging in harder just as he asked of you.

“fuck, y/n—” the pain of your teeth is pushing him close to the edge too soon, so he slips his other hand out from under your dress and brings it lower to circle his fingers over your clit. jungkook adding his experienced fingers to his constant stimulation of your g-spot is enough to cause your release. your body slumps onto his as you squeeze around him, your head falling into the juncture of his neck and shoulder and your eyes shutting so tightly that you see wobbling shapes in the darkness.

jungkook gives you a few more thrusts rougher than the rest, causing you to cry out. your climax and the aftershocks have your mind so dizzy that you only just realize that he’s reaching his own peak, his muscles tensing and relaxing as he fills the condom with his cum. you hear him groan next to your ear, the sound of it filthy and uninhibited.

jungkook lifts your head from his shoulder, his thumbs on your cheeks, and his lips meet yours in a final slow kiss, his teeth leaving their mark on your bottom lip as a parting reminder.

you're still trying to get your bearings and slide him out of you when jungkook suddenly says, "what is that noise?"

"huh?" you remain immobile for a moment so you can listen more clearly, and you recognize the sounds of screaming and feet pounding on the floors in a bid to run away—both upstairs and downstairs. these don't sound like the same screams of pleasure from earlier. "what the hell?"

you and jungkook scramble to collect your clothes and get dressed, thankful that neither of you stripped down completely, and he throws the used condom into a random corner of the room. you're still making last minute adjustments when jungkook stands up and unlocks the door.

"the fuck is—?" his voice cuts off as if he can't finish his thought.

"what? what is it?" you stand up to get a better view around his body in the doorway, and you scream when you see a lone blonde girl lying a few feet away from the door, slumped against the opposite wall with a slashed throat. her pink party dress bleeds red, and her face that catches the illumination of the string lights glints with tear tracks. you look away from her unseeing eyes before you can cry out again.

jungkook seems confused, peering down the other end of the hallway like there'll be someone there to explain. "it...didn't work?" he asks to no one in particular, as you have no answer. you walk farther back into the room as if putting more distance between you and the body will provide some protection. bumping against the window sill, you turn around to look out the window and see several cars peeling out of the makeshift grass parking lot, nearly running over other people or hitting other cars on the way. you release a stifled scream from behind your hands when someone is too disoriented to get out of the way of the speeding cars and is sent flying through the air before landing painfully, their body now unmoving. the offending car never stops to check on them.

the screaming downstairs worsens, countless voices rising to a fever pitch of shouting and wailing, and you imagine this must be what the pits of hell sound like. jungkook whips around to look at you. “we gotta get the fuck out of here.”

you two inch out of the room with him in the lead, peering into jarred-open doorways to see if anybody could be waiting in the shadows. there are a couple of other bodies in two other rooms, and you wonder—even with the loud music constantly reverberating through the house, did you really not hear the struggles that led to these deaths in your throes of passion? the thought unnerves you. the idea that maybe you were only saved by jungkook deciding to lock the door…

the stair railing you’d walked by an hour ago is now broken in the middle, splinters of wood lying scattered on the stairs, along with more bodies lying on the steps just as haphazardly. the scene looks like the remnants of a stampede; you hope most of these people are just unconscious and not dead.

the dancefloor is a swarm of people in various states of undress pushing and pulling each other as they rush for the exit. there’s not as many people heading for the back door, everyone attempting to squeeze through the main entrance in their unthinking panic, so jungkook grabs your arm and the two of you pick your way through the bodies to get down the stairs as best you can. when you enter the mass of people, you’re exceptionally glad for his strength because it’s easier to get through the opposing crowd.

to reach the back door, you must first get through the kitchen. beside the kitchen entrance in a dark corner, you see someone doubled over and grasping the person in front of them for stability.

you realize belatedly that they have a knife in their stomach; the other person standing over them is the virgin killer himself, calmly watching them suffer.

the killer’s face is hidden by the mask he always wears, which you are seeing for the first time now, up-close—a hairy werewolf head with lemon-yellow eyes and a candy-red tongue. it’s so unexpected that you would’ve found it comedic if not for the context.

a guy in a blue sweater grasps the killer from behind in an attempted surprise attack, causing him to jerk the knife out of the other person’s stomach. the sudden movement causes a spray of blood to come flying off the knife, and you have to hold back vomit when drops of the warm, stinking crimson hit your face. though it feels like time has slowed to a mere creep, all of this happens within seconds.

you don’t see much more before jungkook is forcing you to move again.

you, jungkook, and multiple others barrel out of the back patio door, nearly ripping the flimsy screen door off its hinges in your haste, while the classmate in the blue sweater fruitlessly struggles with the killer in the kitchen. your leg muscles flex harder when you hear the person's agonized shout and the mushy rip of flesh being torn seconds later. almost everyone else has taken the same idea to run for their lives rather than stay and try to fight or disarm the killer; the streets are dotted in every direction with students running for any possible safety, many not having arrived to the party in cars to escape in.

thankfully, jungkook is not one of them.

he grasps your wrist painfully hard in his panic and yanks you in the direction of his car, which is so pitch black that you almost didn't see it sitting in the shadows.

when you get inside, you've never been so grateful to be within the safe metal enclosure of a car in your whole life. hands shaking, jungkook jams the key into the ignition and presses the gas pedal so hard your head jerks against the headrest. however, in your temporary relief, you think of lorelai. your vision doubles as you scramble to open your phone and call her, your head spinning with a new spike of fear. it rings for a while with no answer, and you try two more times only to get the same result.

"maybe she got to safety somewhere else?” jungkook tries to reason with you, his eyes bouncing between your face and the road ahead so he doesn't hit any other cars or any random students still running across the streets. "i didn't see her anywhere in the house before we ran out."

"that just means she could be hiding somewhere in there!" you shriek, unable to control your terror at your friend possibly being trapped in the house with the killer.

"well—maybe just let her stick it out, he won't find her if she just—"

"oh god, but i called her like three fucking times; what if he heard the phone ringing? i'm gonna kill myself."

“y/n, you’re overreacting like shit, there’s no way he’d hear a phone ringing in all that noise—"

unlistening, you drop your phone and bang your fists on your head in frustration and anguish.

sighing deeply, jungkook forgoes any attempt to do a 3-point turn, which requires more coordination than he has at the moment, and drives straight up into someone's yard to make a U-turn back toward the house.

you hadn’t gotten too far from the party house, so in another minute or two and with a couple messy turns that cause the wheels to ride up onto the curb, you’re back on the street leading up to the house. before you can reach it, though, jungkook slams on the breaks, and you have to throw your hands out onto the dashboard to avoid flying into it due to not fastening your seatbelt. you’re not very successful; the move hurts your wrists, and you’re pretty sure some of your ribs just got bruised anyway.

“what the fuck?” jungkook shouts.

the virgin killer with his lycanthrope mask is standing in the middle of the street; he turns to face the car. he has a chokehold grip on a guy you recognize as a popular frat member, who is almost bare except for his blue-plaid boxers. you remember seeing the frat guy dancing with his girlfriend when you and lorelai initially entered the party; he was in the group of guys who put this whole party together as a way to “save” the campus’s virgins.

the virgin killer is holding a gun to the guy’s head, and you have no clue where he might’ve gotten it from. the guy’s demeanor is weak, and he’s barely able to stand, which is obviously from the profuse blood loss he’s suffering; the killer has carved sharp letters into his stomach to form two words—“FAIR GAME.”

“fair game?” you mumble, a sickly realization forming in your mind.

“fuck no—" jungkook is already throwing the car into reverse when you hear and see the first bullet go off, exploding the frat member’s head into an unrecognizable mess and making you scream at the top of your lungs. you hear more shots after you close your eyes and tuck your body down, along with the sounds of bullets splitting metal and hitting glass, and you think you might be actively dying—or maybe you’re already dead. even that would be preferable to experiencing this nightmare.

you can’t think as you feel the whole world spinning, your body tossed violently around. in reality, the only thing moving is jungkook’s car as he whips the vehicle around and speeds down the same street you just traveled up.

for a few long minutes, you only hear your own heartbeat, his murmured and frantic curses, and the strained breaths coming from both of you. you keep your body curled up with your knees tucked to your chest and arms over your face. the car’s engine roars as it races down the highway.

you’re afraid to open your eyes and find out, but you have to at some point. plus, the uncomfortable position is making your body hurt. carefully, you unfurl yourself and turn to look at him. “did you get hurt?”

“uhh—no? i don’t think…?” he takes one hand off the wheel to feel up his body as if he’s just realizing that might be a possibility. “but i’m wired off pure adrenaline right now, so give me a few more minutes to be sure…” he looks to you. “are you?”

“no.” your blood still runs cold at the thought of lorelai being stuck in the house or navigating the dark neighborhood streets at this time of night. maybe she doesn’t even have her phone; maybe it was lost in the commotion. the number of possible scenarios makes you ill.

there’s silence for a while; you assume he must not be hurt after all. you start seeing familiar roads that lead back to the campus, and the gears in your mind begin turning, powered by fear.

“do you think it’s safe to go back to the college?” you ask, your voice small.

after a pause jungkook asks, “why not?” though his face begins to look like he’s second-guessing things.

“the killer could go back to the campus…i don’t know. there was so much violence tonight. it’s like he really has a grudge against the students from our school or something. what if he wants more victims? the campus police are already incompetent, but with most of them off the grounds and on their way to the party house…” you don’t finish your thought. you’ll need to warn camille of the potential danger.

“right, yeah…” jungkook’s hands flex around the steering wheel a few times. “we should…probably go somewhere else, then.”

nowhere feels safe. still, you ask, “where?”

changing his route, jungkook glances over at you. “to a friend’s house.”

[funkycatbruh]

drabble series # 1 - the five-year plan

the five-year plan . seven | jjk

you’ve always had a very strict life plan. when you were twenty you sat down and made your five-year plan, you would get married, get your dream house, have your dream career and then at the end of those five years you’d have a kid. everything was going perfectly to plan, well until your husband came home with divorce papers. now you’re somehow trying to stay on track, maybe you could convince your best friend to have a baby with you?

summary: the one where you're not pregnant and jungkook is frustrated.

pairing: best friend!jungkook x reader. general warning/tags for the series: non-idol!au, reader just got divorced, idiots to lovers, slow burn, unprotected sex, ovulation horny, iykyk, family drama, in law drama, ex-husband drama, just drama all around, domestic fluff, we didn't know that we were in a relationship, co-parenting, dramatic confessions, more tags to come. wc: 2.1k author’s note: ok!!! this is the last part for awhile. like im taking a break from her bc i've literally written seven parts in 13 days,, we are literally almost 12k words deep in this, which is honestly just a long chapter when i think ab it so it's honestly not that bad, but i do need to focus on something else pls. idk how long it will be for the next part but its time for a little break. this chapter is brought to you by the album perfect velvet by red velvet i even referenced it in the chap lmao. sorry if you were expecting smut or pregnancy this part but i feel like most of yall were on team they're not pregnant 🫡

main masterlist | series masterlist | taglist

“This isn’t the first time a girl has taken a pregnancy test in my bathroom. It's probably the first time anyone’s been hoping for a yes though.”

"Nnn, Haeyoung was weird, she definitely wanted your babies."

You're sitting on Jungkook's bathroom counter, fresh out of the shower with a towel wrapped around your hair. Jungkook is leaning against the door frame, anxiously waiting alongside you for the pregnancy test’s results. The mini-speaker playing your shower playlist is still droning on in the background.

You had gone straight to Jungkook’s when you had gotten out of work, only to get there and find out he wasn’t even there himself, you had elected to use his shower and all his fancy skin care shit while you waited for him to return.

When he finally showed up with a bag full of at least 20 different brands of pregnancy tests you had looked at him like he was insane and then asked how much did he honestly think you could pee. You settled on taking three and kicked him out of the bathroom to take the tests and now you’re both here, both anxiously awaiting the results. These have honestly been the longest three minutes of your life.

Your heart is in your throat as you nervously swing your legs, you hum along to the music, even Red Velvet's 'Perfect 10' wasn’t enough to soothe your nerves.

“Well you want my babies now, so who’s the weird one?” Jungkook defends his ex-girlfriend half-heartedly, it’s in his nature to be defensive of those he loves and you absolutely adore that about him but she was weird as fuck.

“Bro, she was like genuinely weird.” You say before you can stop yourself, “Like remember that time you woke up and she was shaving your pubes.”

He rolls his eyes, “She prioritized grooming, nothing wrong with that.”

He’s absolutely lying, you remember the very panicked phone call that Jimin had gotten after that happened. Jimin tried and failed to keep serious while you laughed your ass off as Jungkook was freaking out on the other end of the line.

“She lied and told everyone that you had proposed.” You counter.

“Manifestation.” He raises an eyebrow as if to say 'your move'.

You snort, “Fine, okay. She literally had a scrapbook just full of candid pictures of you, from before you started dating.”

“Okay…” He trails off, looking a little pained by the memory of that. “That one was a little weird, and she never really offered up an explanation for it.”

“Really?” You can't imagine ever finding something like that and never getting an explanation for it. You would demand an explanation, and it would need to be a damn good one.

“Yeah, when I confronted her about it… I got a little uh, distracted.”

You roll your eyes, of course he was thinking with his dick. That seems to be the running theme for why at least half of his relationships lasted as long as they did. But goddamn was Haeyoung weird.

You narrow your eyes in thought, “Hey, don't you think it was kinda weird how she literally just showed up out of nowhere. Like she had started working with Tae literally the morning we all had lunch together and she somehow managed to weasel her way into an invite, and then she stopped working there like right after you two started dating…”

Your words trail off, you let your words register in his brain before you finally speak again, “Bro, I think you dated a stalker.”

You both share a mildly haunted look, only for it to turn into a more real sense of fear when the alarm you set starts blaring out. Right, you can go back to that crisis later — it's time to look. Time to figure out the fate of the next nine, ten months of your life.

“You look,” You say as you turn off the alarm, completely refusing to look at the test.

“No, you look.” Jungkook responds shaking his head, his teeth nervously biting at the dead skin on his lower lip, eyes a little wide and fearful.

You both stare at each other, and you're mentally debating whether or not you're gonna play the ' no, you / no, you ' game. Right, ok, be adults. This isn't about who has to tell Jimin the two of you broke something again, but instead the test telling you whether or not you're pregnant. Much less terrifying.

You take a deep breath and finally look and …

“It's negative.” Your heart drops, fuck. The black word negative sitting on the screen stares back up at you, the second and third both having one single line in their small windows. All three tests all reading out the same thing — negative.

“It's negative?” Jungkook asks, his voice sounding small and confused.

You shake your head, taking deep breaths, trying to stop the tears, it's fine you don't need to be upset. You'll just have to try again, it's not the end of the world. Just the first and what could possibly end up being a long line of no's. You look away from the test and instead at him.

“I'm not pregnant.” You confirm, pursing your lips. You jump down from the counter top and make your way into his bed room, and flop down face first onto his bed. Bam who had been sleeping on his own bed that sits at the foot of the bed raises a curious head at the noise.

“You're not pregnant?” Jungkook responds trailing after you.

“Can you stop repeating my statements as questions,” You say angrily, rolling over to give him the stink eye, “It's negative, I'm not pregnant."

“How're you not pregnant?” He asks incredulously, “We didn't use a condom, I vividly remember there being no condom involved.”

You try to ignore the way his eyes go a little glazed over and his lips part as he no doubt remembers the entire baby making process all over again. You also try to ignore the way your brain had definitely started to play it on repeat, and all the other times you had thought back to the same moment over, and over, and over.

“Did you stop taking your birth control?” He asks, breaking himself out of his stupor, he's shaking his head like he could physically shake the image of you laying naked under him out of his mind. “How are you not pregnant?”

“Yes, I did and I don't know. It didn't take. What do you want me to say Jungkook? I'm not pregnant.”

He huffs, sounding increasingly more annoyed. Both he and Bam stare at you with far too similar eyes, and you almost smile but the general annoyance with Jungkook seems to win over. Bam elects to ignore both of your theatrics and lies back down as his owner starts to pace.

“How can you not be pregnant? They literally say it all the time, don't have unprotected sex — you'll get pregnant. People have protected sex and still get pregnant. But we throw all precautions to the wind and don't get pregnant. I don't understand.” He throws his hands up in frustration.

You can't help but laugh at his rant, and he gives you another pissed off bunny expression.

You understand his frustrations, you really do. But you had honestly prepared yourself for this outcome. You'd done a lot of research in the past few months since you decided that you were gonna have the baby with or without your ex-husband.

“It's not actually that easy, it takes most people up to at least a year to get pregnant when they start trying.” You say honestly, maybe this is something you should've discussed before he had agreed to do the whole baby thing with you. But you hadn't thought to bring it up because it's not like he asked, but you can see now that he had assumed it would be a one time thing. He could just lie back and think of England, and then boom, a baby.

“A year?” He chokes on his own spit as he practically yells out in shock.

You nod in agreement, sitting up so you don't feel as unbalanced in the conversation. If you were nicer you'd apologize but it's not like you were torturing him with the prospect of having sex with you. Maybe, unless he had absolutely hated it and that's why he's freaking out right now. Fuck what if you were the worst lay of his life, you don't really have many people to compare to but you hadn't received any complaints from Jimin — or not-Jimin and Yoongi for that matter.

“Right, okay. Cool. A year.” He looks like he's mildly panicking, a shaky hand running through his hair.

Okay, maybe you actually were the worst lay of his life. Awesome that makes you feel, so great, about yourself.

“Jungkook it might not actually take a year, it's just y'know, within the first year of trying.” You say quietly, trying not to let the hurt out in your voice, fingers nervously playing with the drawstrings of the hoodie that you're wearing that you had stolen out of his closet.

“No it's fine bubs, don't worry.” Apparently you're not a good bluffer, “It's just,” He exhales hard through his nose, “You know I'm completely awful at not being in relationships and now I've got a whole year of not being in a relationship. Fuck, I need a cigarette.”

He's rooting through the pockets of his sweats, coming out empty handed. He's ever the serial romantic, it's not that he's a player, if anything he's the opposite, he has a terrible habit of falling in love with everyone he meets. Jungkook's terribly easy to love so it doesn't take long for him to end up in a relationship where he's giving the person his everything and falling out of love just as quickly — someone else coming along and getting his heart instead. Jungkook might be a little addicted, you know he craves love the same way that all addicts crave their vices, he needs to be loved the same way an alcoholic needs another drink.

“I mean you can date someone,” You say reassuringly, “I would prefer if you didn't have sex with anyone else I don't really want to get anything but If you're being safe and routinely getting tested I'm not gonna stop you, I'm not your girlfriend, Jungkook.”

He snorts, he's now puffing on his vape, it came from god knows where. You don't want to think about how many there are stashed around both his place and yours, left in his pockets and ones he's sat down and forgotten about.

“I know,” He says, “But yes, I'm sure any girl I date will be alright with the fact that I'll be routinely having sex with my friend.” He laughs sounding half manic at this point, “But don't worry, baby, it's completely platonic.”

Your body heats up at the baby, your mind supplying you with thoughts of the last time you heard that word leaving his mouth.

“You don't have to do it asshole, we can just pretend this didn't happen and I can just ask Namjoon-”

“Oh shut up,” He gives you an annoyed glare, “I'm not a quitter Y/n, I'm giving you a baby. We're in this together. Baby Jeon is happening.”

“Who said the baby would get your last name?” You can't help the stupid grin that spreads across your face even though you try your hardest to sound annoyed.

“Uhh, me.” He gives you a shit eating grin, “I will be very upset if I go through all this effort and don't get any type of rewards from the fruit of my labours.”

“The fruit of your labours?” You scoff, “Because getting your dick wet is such hard work.”

“I'll show you hard work.”

He's on you in an instant, you let out a shrill scream as he tackles you to the bed. At the noise Bam rushes to your defense and the sound of both of your laughter and the dogs happy barks fill the apartment as the two of them play fight.

It all feels so nice and very domestic, you're happy in a way you can't explain. Sure you might not be pregnant now but the future doesn't look too bad up ahead, at least like he said, you'd be in it together. You're pointedly trying not to think about the fact that you may have a very long future of having sex with your best friend. Or about how long it would stay platonic, you couldn't deny he would sound ridiculous if he had said that to anyone else but it's just you.

That's not how the two of you are.

It's not like the two of you would ever develop feelings for each other, right?

[funkycatbruh]

EGO DRIVE (m) | JJK

SYNOPSIS:

In the glamorous world of fashion, where egos run wild and money talks, who'd have thought that one arrogant model by the name of Jeon Jungkook would shake up your life?

"No. This was Jeon Jungkook, and at the end of the day, no one cared about the damn clothes."

PAIRING: Model Jeon Jungkook x Reader

RATING: 18+

GENRE: STRANGERS TO LOVERS, ENEMIES TO LOVERS, MODEL AU, FASHION AU, FLUFF SMUT ANGST

WORD COUNT: 11K

A/N: Part 1s always appear to be the most difficult for me to write, so here goes nothing🤭. This bitch worked hard on it, so please offer some love in the comments or let me know if you enjoyed it. PSA!!!!! I know Jks is a jerk in this, but trust me, it will all make sense as you go on! As for Oc, her background will be described in greater detail next part. This ones more jk focused. Last scene is inspired by his DAZED cover hihi🤭

Big thank you to @kooktrash for helping me with the plot and @erica2283 for beta-ing for me🫶🩵

For fucks sake, Jungkook was probably the worst person you've ever had the pleasure of working with...–aside from that time that famous actress tossed her scalding hot latte at you because you didnt know the shade pink didnt suit her. It wasn't your fault! You had no idea who she was to begin with-

A good shade of pink–whether light or dark– suits everyone-

I digress

Back to the assho- Jungkook. Back to Jeon motherfucking Jungkook.

It was a sweltering summer morning, and you'd just finished your first week as a stylist and makeup artist for Calvin Klein the day before. It was all a dream. People were mostly friendly, and if they weren't, they just ignored you rather than gossiping about you behind your back. You weren't a high-level executive–you were easily replaceable. But you did the job, and for the time being, thats all that mattered

The fashion industry was and still is tough, but you snuck your way into one of the top, most trendy labels to this day. It wasnt easy–on the contrary. The rules and regulations were merciless, and your application was disregarded for a couple of months before they even emailed you–you weren't their first choice, thats for sure. But, in the end, they hired you, so you shouldn't feel horrible about yourself and sulk. At least you try not to.

Theres times you gaze out the window of your pricey, run-down downtown apartment. Watching cars and bikes pass by, as the same people who lived nearby walked in and out of the shabby 7/11. You liked making up little stories about their lives in your head while sipping your morning tea or eating your dinner after work–which generally consisted of a 99ct ramen cup from the same 7/11 mentioned earlier

You liked the idea that these people had the same mundane daily live as you–it made you feel better about yourself in some way

But again, I digress

Your morning has gone weirdly well–you didn't trip over that nearly non existent step in front of the entrance door this morning, as you usually do 97% of the time; the barista at the local café got your coffee order right–as they should anyway, in your opinion, because...you're spending $7 for your tripple shot piping hot americano every morning, for heavens sake!

Nevertheless, your mornings going great. Everything is fine-

That is, at least, until you are cleaning your cosmetics palette, humming a radio-hit melody to yourself, that everyone falls silent, at which point you hear faint whispering and chattering as a door creaks open

You don't pay much attention, you knew some hot shot model was planned to be on set today. You assumed he was the one everyone was ogling/giggling about

You do nothing more than lift your head, catching a glimpse of the scenario a few feet away–the way there are roughly 7 bodyguards around him, the way camera flashes become fewer as the door closes behind them, eventually disappearing and staying outside rather than being permitted in

You watch as the set director, who also happens to be your boss, approaches him with excitement–his far too tight shirt showed off his beer belly, and those pants; just no. If this man didn't have a buzzcut, you couldnt imagine he'd be good at even styling his hair–how did he end up as a set director for CK?

Connections, most likely... you answer your own question

Everything nowadays was about connections, not talent. If you knew someone, you were almost certainly going to be hired for a job you weren't even qualified for. Denying opportunities to ppl who were prepared to do the job–who studied hard to do the goddamn job-

Mr. Hardis was a pain to work with; "y/n go get me a coffee", "y/n clean the set up". Those weren't your responsibilities, for God's sake. Mr. Hardis was the epitome of an ass-kissing jerk.

But as long as he paid you on time...well, theres really nothing that you should be complaining about

- 15 hours before the shoot; Incheon airport Seoul South Korea -

"Thats him! Oh my god!"

"Jungkook! can i get an autograph-"

"Jk, why did you break up with Aisha?!"

"What are you wearing?!"

"One picture please-"

He shouldn't be rolling his eyes at his fans in public, especially with so many cameras around him. He never grasped the airport arrival or departure thing–when photographers and fans would camp out for hours simply to see him come into or out of the terminal for a mere 5 minutes or less

He only shakes his head, biting his lip, which is hidden by his black facemask. Actually, you can hardly see his face at all.

Jungkook liked his privacy, or at least the little bit that's left of it anyway

The purple beany obscured the majority of his hair and face. "Back off," one of his bodyguards says as a girl approaches, holding her phone in his face–Jungkook just looks forward, disregarding her

He was used to this

The good news is that he is relatively quickly inside, while most of his fans are forced to remain behind–yelling his name, begging for him to look back one last time. But he doesnt. Why would he?

It was quieter in here, although some people were still pointing their phone cameras at him without any shame. He shakes his head.

He observes as they mutter to each other, catching the faint words "jeon" and "parents" as well as comments like "what an ignorant boy" and "he should be ashamed, leaving his fans hanging like that" from old ladies who most likely read the tabloids about him in their spare time, cup of tea in one hand and piece of cake neatly placed on their terrace tables as they people watched and gossiped

He scoffs once more, glancing ahead and holding his passport up to the staff in front of him. It was a woman, maybe in her early 30s, with nice skin, a nice figure, and shining eyes. He lowers his mask for her to confirm his identification but before drawing it back up. He flashes her a smirk before passing by her

He hears the last camera flashes as he steps into his private zone at the airport, eager to relax and wait for his jet. At least he didn't have to deal with other people while travelling. Aside from his bodyguards and assistants, who were already on board the plane, preparing for his arrival and departure to LAX.

He despises it. The spotlight, the cameras, the...attention. It was ironic, really, since he was a model, and he didn't mind being recorded at work.

But when he was in private or when he didn't want to be watched? It sucked. Welcome to the world of a celebrities son.

A so-called nepo baby or whatnot, someone who apparently got everything handed to him on a silver platter. It made him scoff just thinking about it

He takes a second to grab his phone, tapping on it to look at the time. 10am. Underneath it, a message catches his eye

Mom: be careful today, me and dad tried to make sure your arrival in LA will be as calm as possible

Mom: make sure to text me when you arrive💖

He types a quick "okay" before humming to himself as he looked outside the window

It's not that he doesn't love appearing for the camera–as a creative director and part of many projects, he gets to determine what side of him ends up on the covers of magazines like Vogue, W, or Dazed. The only thing that fucking annoyed him was the gossip and the lack of privacy.

If you haven't guessed, Jungkook hated his parents' celebrity status and the fact that he didn't get to choose whether or not he wanted to be in the spotlight–he was born into it

Fuck fame, fuck money–at the age of 25, he still had no idea who he was. And that one time he tried to see a therapist? His information was leaked, letting the entire media know what he was going through at the time. He removed most of his social media accounts shortly after that, not wanting to see the stupid remarks, the hate.

He basically vanished for an entire year, staying under the radar. But that was now 7 years ago, he was 18 at that time and didn't know any better. So, after a year of trying to find out how to move on with his life, he just figured that if he didn't show his emotions, if he didn't let people close to him, they wouldn't be able to hurt him.

Jungkook mastered the art of pretening

Pretend to be friends with them

Pretend to be interested in their life

Pretend to listen when they talk

Pretend to care

Pretend pretend pretend

Jungkook could count his friends on one hand, those friends being Kim Namjoon and Min Yoongi, whom he grew up with and considered as his older brothers

Everyone else you saw him partying with or leaving clubs with on the news or on Twitter were nobodies who thought they knew him while exploiting him for fame and money. 'Why pay when kooks here?' He'd heard it much too often.

He often left with girls. Jungkook wasn't a picky man. If they caught his attention and he sort of tolerated them, he would gladly accept their invites to their homes for the night

He didn't love the girls he dated–he pretended to but never meant it.

Especially after sex, the way hed swinf his arms around them while they smiled and traced his tattoos. Playing with the hem of his boxers as they kissed along his jaw

"Do you love me?" They'd ask, hopeful eyes looking up at him, wishing they'd be the ones on the cover of magazines the next day titled as Jeon Jungkooks next love. Jungkook would just chuckle, take a drag of his post sex cigarette, and look them in the eyes, lying, "of course I love you."

Love...love was something he used ti think would solve everything. A girl who liked him for him. Jungkook. Not Jeon Jungkook, son of Jeon Seona and Jeon Jungshik.

But when she left, she took a piece of him with her, breaking him.

She, who hed thought would stay with him. She who hed thought would never hurt him

She shattered him.

No

Love shattered him

Fuck love

-----

You sigh and return to your now clean palette. You used to get excited when meeting celebs like him, but after a few interactions with people like them, you realised they're all just human at the end of the day–who don't care about people like you.

What was that saying again? Never meet your heroes? Yeah...

Next to you is a sheet, the identical one that was emailed to you and everyone else on set a few days ago–it was the shoot description and theme.

"I'd rather be dead than cool."

You couldn't deny that it piqued your curiosity when you initially opened the doc that night. Hot cup of coffee in your hand, ready for an all nighter to research makeup looks that would fit the vibe

You didnt get selected for styling today. Rather for makeup duty. That's why you were cleaning the palette in the first place–grey, blue, and soft green tones neatly arranged on the table beside you

You'd studied his face a bit–just to get to know what you were going to work with, and, as much as you hated to admit it, he was attractive in every aspect

You knew it would be an easy day at work with a face like his, since his features were perfect to work with; his sharp jaw attracted your attention initially, and it would be simple to match his foundation tone with the remains of his body. Then there was his nose, round and slightly bigger, but with a sharp twist that would be easy to apply makeup on. His dark and piercing eyes were ideal for applying eyeliner and a smidge of shadow–maybe some darker grey or hints of blue. His lips were lovely, not big but not thin–the ideal in-between.

You'd worked with models before, particularly attractive ones, but never with someone of this status. If you weren't mistaken he's the kind of celebrity people on the internet loved to refer to as nepo baby

His parents were well known actors in the 1980s, so you didn't know if you'd recognise them if you saw them walking down the street or in a grocery store. You'd be sure to ask your parents when you got home–if you didn't forget, anyway.

All you knew was that the man who had just entered the studio was important, important enough not to mess up his makeup even once

Dont talk to him y/n, cause god forbid you say something cringy

Ugh, just thinking about it makes you want to slap your forehead

"I can't believe he chose our location out of all the options he had." Lia, the petite blonde girl you've grown to like, practically squeaks next to you in delight

You give her a little smile and nod, adding, "I know, right?" As you check the makeup desk to see if you have everything prepared for later

Clean brushes? Check

Cotton Swabs and Pads? Check

Clean mirror? Check

Make up remover? Check

Neat setup? Double check

You and Lia were little more than work besties, as she referred to you two. She'd been a hairstylist here for over a year now, and you were pretty sure she'd seen many bigger celebs than him, but you liked seeing her excited–you loved how you could actually sense how much she adored her job

It made you happy too

"I heard he chose LA for the weather and laid back vibes!" She continues, your gaze fixed on the time on your phone before looking at her and nodding along "He must be tired, though...heard he just arrived from the airport...didn't get any rest whatsoever," she somewhat pouts, and you laugh slightly amused–if you had to name one person who has the most empathy for people, it would have to be her

"Its his job now, isnt it?" You shrug, "just like we have pull all nighters sometimes and only get 2 hours of sleep-" you chew on your bottom lip "-he has to head to work right after a what? 15 hour flight? Thats life" fiddling with one of the cosmetics brushes, you glance around the set, photographers hustling around, preparing their cameras while other staff members setup the set

It was basic, a black old-timer parked in the middle–if your eyes didn't deceive you, it was a Lamborghini Miura 1966–you didn't know much about cars, but your father had a photo of one hanging in the garage since you were a kid

You made a mental note to snap a picture to send to him later

One thing was certain–Jungkook had taste–expensive taste, at that–but that was to be expected from a man of his wealth. What was he again? highest paid male model in 2022?

Something like that

"Mh, i guess youre right"

Lia's voice draws your attention back to her, and you notice her fiddling with her fingers, just like you were doing with the makeup brush. You could tell you were both nervous right now, her possibly more than you, which was strange given she had been working here longer

Perhaps it was the fact that he was more than just a celebrity working with the brand; he was the global ambassador. "Should we get lunch after-" Lia speaks up, only to be cut off by the director himself, "right everyone!" He claps his hands together to attract everyone's attention, "well be starting the shoot at point 10am, which is in exactly an hour-" his voice fades into the distance as lia tugs on your arm, catching your attention back to her

"Whats up?"

"Im kinda nervous now, what if i fuck up" Lia chew on her bottom lip as she turns to gather her things, making sure everything is set before she starts working on his hair soon

You smile at her, mimicking her movements as you go over your supplies one last time. The last thing you want is for a product to miss and halt the entire shoot. That would almost certainly get you fired. And bye bye to your lovely dream of making it big in the industry

"He's already got the looks, so even if you mess up, it won't be too noticeable," you joke, crossing your arms as you lean against the table, "but I'm curious if he's got anything else going for him," you snort, causing Lia's eyes widen in surprise as she looks at you–or rather behind you

"I can hear you, you know"

The sudden voice makes a chill run down your spine as you slowly turn around

As he stares at you, the man you've certainly come to know as Jeon Jungkook stands there in all his handsome glory–arms crossed, tongue poking the inside of his cheek

Fuck, did you really just insult one of the most important people at your job? What a way to leave a first impression...

One of the first things you notice about him are his numerous piercings, which dknt take away from the attractiveness of his face but rather enhance it. You first notice his double pierced lip–jeez that must have hurt–maybe you'll ask him about it later for some small talk

Next, your gaze is drawn to his ears, which are both fully pierced and adorned with small hoops. Finally, you come to a halt at his brow, the small but lovely charm that pierces through it, adding a harshness to his gentle face

He smelt of expensive perfume and cigarettes, maybe even weed-but who were you to judge?–as Lia had said; 'he must be exhausted'. So the fact that he might have hit it once or twice before arriving shouldn't surprise you

The outfit he initially arrived at the set with is simple yet fashionable, a black oversized shirt paired with some equally as oversized pants

Somehow, you could still tell the man was ripped underneath all that clothing

You smile and laugh nervously, "Well, at least you've got one thing going for you" you try to lighten the mood by cracking a joke, only to be met with a hard stare

Great y/n, this is exactly why you don't speak to clients–the global ambassador for the brand which your life depends on–at that

"Right," he scoffs, looking you up and down, blatantly judging your outfit. You weren't wearing anything special. Your job didn't require you to wear a uniform–the only condition was that everyone who worked here wore at least one piece of the brand's apparel

You got a big employee discount of 50%, so going out shopping the day you got hired wasn't too pricey. You were dressed in a simple white CK shirt and black flared CK jeans

The rest were some thrifted half-broken Converse highs you bought when you were 16, as well as a similarly thrifted Zara jacket you bought last year–you weren't wearing that one, but it hung nicely over your chair. In a way, it was reasonable to say you didnt look like a fashion major–you did know how to style properly, but putting clothing on other people was easier than putting clothes on yourself. You wouldn't be a skilled stylist if you didn't understand what you were doing

Looking down at yourself, your cheeks heat up as you stare at the same coffee stain on your shirt as he was

What were the consequences of simply running out the venue now? Because, to be frank, you'd love to sink into the ground right this moment

Thankfully, his assistant arrives a few moments later with an iced americno–you wondered how many shots someone as busy as him needed this early in the morning, was it 2? Or 3 like yourself?–in one hand and a clipboard with what you imagined was his schedule in the other. You let out a breath of relief, which Jungkook seemed to notice but dismiss, setting himself down on the black chair with his name written on the back and waiting for you to start your job. Your eyes widen "right", and you let out a nervous breath, beginning with figuring out his foundation shade

You decide not to ask him about his piercings after all

You wanted to maintain some dignity and professionalism. Sitting down in your little swivel chair you began applying concealer with a fresh beauty blender, trying not to touch his face too much and keeping the tapping to a minimum

You're relieved when Jungkook begins chatting with his assistant, and you try your best not to eavesdrop–but you can't just turn off your ears, can you?

"You have to leave the shoot at point 12," she points out, noting something on the small clipboard in her manicured hand

"Were only shooting for 2 hours?" He asks nonchalantly, sounding much nicer than he did when he talked to you

Maybe it's because of your stupid ass joke y/n, you reason. Thatd explain everything.

"Yes, two hours," she nods again, "will that be an issue? I can call Vogue and tell them you'll be late for the interview-."

"Ah no," he says pleasantly, waving his hand. "That won't be a problem, I was just wondering because my shoots usually take longer," he adds, toying with his liprings as he concentrates his gaze on you, whos mostly focused on diping a brush into the black eyeshadow and carefully tapping part of the pigment off afterwards

Ah, an interview huh?

You'll look him up again during your break. Sure, he was a model, but why would he need to be interviewed by one of the most popular magazines? What was so intriguing about Jeon Jungkook aside his parents or his connection with CK?

You bite your bottom lip, deep in thought, as you lean back and tell him to close his eyes. That he does. With a light touch, you sweep the brush over his lid, applying just a smidge of colour before diving back into the palette for a shade of blue

You weren't a curious person, but rather a bored one with nothing better to do. Sure, it wasn't the wisest move in the world, and it was a little strange to search up a client on Google while he was still on set. You felt strange even thinking about looking him up. Mh.

Well, you were just a bored girl at work–isn't it what everyone in your situation would do? Maybe instead of googling, you could ask Lia about him–she seemed to be a fan

Talking about her-

With a smile and a tool bag in hand, she approaches the 3 or 5 of you–if you include the bulky bodyguards a few feet away from you.

"Hello," she says, lightly bowing as she introduces herself as his hairstylist for the day–you're too deep in concentration and thought on his makeup and about what you'll be having for lunch later to even listen properly

However, from what you can discern, he happens to be a lot friendlier to her than he was to you. That joke was a tragedy

You frown, which Jungkook notices as he glances at you while you apply a small amount of liptint on his lips

As you apply it with a small brush, you observe the way he purses his lips a little. This was certainly not new to him. However, the fact that he knew what to do with each makeup step and that you didn't have to tell him was reassuring

Even well known models and artists who deal with makeup on a regular basis don't always know when to do what

Stop praising him for the bare minimum y/n

"Shoot starts in 15," the set director says over the loudspeaker, pacing around the set as if he owned it–which, technically, he did. You hum to yourself and casually nod. You were nearly finished with his makeup–or lack thereof; Jungkook didn't require much retouching to his already flawless face

Again, stop praising him

Lia didn't have as much work to do either, as the theme of tpday's shoot required her to leave his hair a little messy–rebellious. So, after combing it and drowning it with hairspray while running her hand over his hair, she was finished

"All right, Jungkook, follow me," Sana, one of the stylists in charge of his clothing–aside from him, of course, as he was also the creative director for today's shoot–brings him to his wardrobe.

Sana was...mh...a couple years older than you. You weren't sure by how much, but it had to be three or four years. She must have been in her mid-late twenties while you were 22. You didn't talk much to her–she showed you around on your first day at work, but that was about it

She was, as you could think, pleasant. Her hair was blonde, but not like Lias'. While her hair was a yellowish blonde, Sana's was almost white. She had a nice smile, which she had probably perfected over the years to show clients as she nodded mindlessly while they talked

Her style was unlike anything you'd ever seen before–the flared pants she wore today complemented the yellow shirt she wore flawlessly. Its like she took on a new persona everyday. One day she looked like your nice neighbour girl, the other like someone out of a 80s movie–her job definitely fit her.

You liked her jewellery; the gold bands on her wrist caught your eye as soon as you stepped into the set this morning.

You watch Jungkook get up from the seat in front of you, check himself up in the mirror, then adjust his shirt and walk away with her. You let out a breath you hadn't realised you'd been holding, locking eyes with Lia in a knowing way. You both laugh

"You think hell hold a grudge?" You teasingly ask, crossing your arms and leaning back against the makeup counter, chewing on your lip, one brow raised

"No way," Lia laughs, "don't even think he'll remember us when he comes back tomorrow."

You give a nod.

Right. The shoot was meant to last a week, so you'll probably have to deal with him again tomorrow. Oh crap

-

"Look directly into the camera." Jake, another work friend of yours, says barely above a whisper, talking to Jungkook who is basically doing whatever he wants. The photos turn out beautiful, but modelling involves working together rather than doing whatever you want

You bite your lower lip, keeping a close eye on them

Jake has been working here for quite some time now, was it 2? Or three years? You can't remember, hed just briefly mentioned it. From what you've seen in the week you've been here, he was good at his job–the photos he shot were unique and difficult to replicate. He had a distinct styls, and you could see him rise to the top in the industry over time. Who knows? Maybe one day you'll be able to say you worked with the Jake Abrahams.

Somehow, there seems to be tension between him and Jungkook though

You shake your head. Youre just seeing things y/n. The lack of sleep you got tonight made you huffy and irritated

"Hold that pose." Jake pokes his tongue out lightly in concentration while he snaps some more pictures, Jungkook's intense gaze switching between the camera and...you? Why's he looking at you? But just as quickly as he focuses on you, he's back to the camera

That was weird

As you watch the shoot, you fumble with the hem of your shirt. It had been about 20 minutes since it started, and Jungkook was doing an excellent job. Maybe not at cooperating with the photographer but he knew how to operate the camera, making the cameraman's job nearly too easy. You watch as he bites his lower lip, turns around, and runs his hand through his hair. He was born to do this.

You may not like him, but you had to give credit where credit is due

"Let's take a short break to look at the pictures and then try a different angle and the next outfit" Mr. Hardis claps his hands together making Jake place down his camera with an irritated frown before stepping over to the monitor and scrolling through the images.

Jungkook relaxes and cracks his neck before following suit, his steps long and dangerous as if he was walking a catwalk. He knew all eyes were on him, and he seemed to like the attention

Ugh, celebrities and ther egos

You take a second to look besides you at Lia, whos just oggling over the guy. You hold back a laugh

"I think we need to touch up his makeup a little," Jake says as he glances at the images, zooming closer to his face and already colour correcting some of them. He makes sure the lightings good, and everything is perfectly centered

His face turns back at you. Giving you an apologetic smile

You nod understanding and head over, taking a couple brushes and concealer with you

Jungkook looks up at you once, then back down at the monitor, frowning a little. Someones not happy

You roll your eyes, sighing under your breath. Maybe if he listened to what Jake had to say-

Jungkook doesn't move much, only stepping back from the monitor to allow you to sneak in front of him and adjust his makeup while he continues to analyse the images without even looking at you

"I think these two are the ones," Jake says as he shows the two photos he's referring to. Mr. Hardis nods, his horrible fake smile returning to Jungkook to see what he thinks

You frown as you fight the urge to roll your eyes again at the fakeness of it all

Once more Jungkook doesnt fail to notice

He only hums, clenching his jaw as he stares down at you, your eyes locking. You gulp

What did he want?

"What do you think?" he asks you.That asshole. What was he up to?

"Uhm...me?" Your eyes widen as you look between him and a equality as confused looking Mr Hardis. His brows shoot high in surprise as he clears his throat but decides not to say anything

"Yeah, youre part of the shoot." Jungkook grins and crosses his arms, muscles bulking out, tattoos begging to be admired by you. And as much as you want to- you dont. "What do you-" he tilts his head "-think?" he asks

Oh, someone please hold your hand back because you were about to lose your job by wiping that smug grin off his face.

You turn your head to the monitor, eyes scanning over the two pictures displayed. He looked flawless without any editing, and the pictures looked perfect, taking a step back and briefly looking over at Jake, who was suppressing a chuckle, his arms crossed over his platted shirt, you smile "Mh" you hum seeing Mr. Hardis' jaw clench from your peripheral view "i dont know..." you look back at Jungkook, whose eyes pierce into yours. "They look a little...emotionless," you shrug, "that's just my opinion though, you're the model," you smile. But you're both aware that it's not genuine.

"I see" Jungkook hums, pretending to take your opinion to heart as he looks next to you at Mr. Hardis "i was thinking the same"

Hah!- wait, what now?

What does he mean by "i was thinking he same"?! He wasnt supposed to agree!

Mr. Hardis looks at Jake for a split second before clearing his throat and glaring at his ugly and way too expensive watch. "Well, technically, we could shoot this part a bit longer" he starts "right Jake?" He grits through his teeth

"Sure," Jake shrugs, picking up his camera and fiddling with the settings while Mr Hardis takes a cigarette break before returning to the set as everyone else prepares

This leaves you and Jungkook alone at the monitor. Theres an awkward silence for a second before you look down at your–definetly, ready to throw away–shoes. Sighing you speak up "Listen, I'm sorry for basically calling you stupid earlier, I didn't mean it," you admit, glancing up only to see him walk away from you, as if he hadn't heard anything. Oh, but you know he had. You scowl, "actually, now that I think about it, I take everything back" you murmur under your breath, "asshole"

-

"No way"

"Way," you mutter, munching on the ramen you bought right after leaving work. The 7/11 trip you made every night after work to get dinner was a small dose of enjoyment.

You're sitting on the small seat by your window, the view allowing you a small glimpse of the entire nightlife of your normally quiet suburb. "He was-" you grunt as you take another bite, "-such an ass" you continue, your mouth still full. "Cant believe its always the assholes that get famous" you add

"Well you did call him stupid-" Hoseok, your best friend of seven years, answers on the other side of the phone while eating his own food. Hobi was your little ray of sunshine, not that you needed it–you weren't a grumpy person in general, though you could be just now. Unfortunately, he didn't live anywhere near you, his home being in your hometown back in NYC, so seeing each other was difficult–thankfully, phones existed

"I did," you nod along with him, "but not in a bad way!" you take a sip of your soda. "I was obviously joking!" You shake your head, "ugh no-" you fling your head back, "I hate him"

"And when i tried to apologise to him, you know what he did?" You roll your eyes poking the inside of your cheek "he just walked away!"

"No way!"

"Way!" You thow your hands up in defeat

"Anyway," Hobi says over the phone, pausing for a second, "but he's hot, right?" He asks just to make sure youre talking about the same Jeon Jungkook

"He's a big celeb back in Korea, more than in the US," he says, adding, "my cousin almost lost it when I told her you'll be working with him-"

"You know that was confidential information I told you, right?" you ask through your phone, laughing but trying to stay serious. "No ones supposed to know about the shoot until it is released," you remind him, but he simply brushes you off, waving his hand "yeah yeah, anyway, what am trying to say is" he wiggles his brows "you need money, and he has plenty of it-."

There is a brief moment of silence before you respond. "You want me to rob him...?-"

"What? No!" He interrupts you with a chuckle, shaking his head, "goddammit y/n, you're hot, hes hot..." He attempts to persuade you to connect the dots, but when you don't, he simply sighs and shakes his head, "you should try to get close to him!" Finally, he explains.

Your eyes grow wide, and you make a disgusted face, dropping your chopsticks "ew! No!"

- 2nd Shoot Day -

"What do you mean Sana is sick?" Mr. Hardis scowls on the phone as he steps outside the shooting location, cigarette in hand, brow furrowed, shaking his head in disbelief. The time was 9:15 am, and the shoot was set to begin in 45 minutes, with Jungkook arriving in 15. However, without the head stylist on hand to supervise the clothes and styling, things might get...complicated, delaying the entire shoot by hours, if not days

Who would alter his outfit, which might be too large or small for him? Who would mend, cut, or sew things together? You were doomed in the absence of Sana. It was as easy as that

If you were sick? No problem, they have a replacement. If Lia got sick, there was a replacement. But, no Sana meant-, oh no...

"Whats all the commotion?" Jake asks as he walks over to you, drying his hands from helping staff clean up the set from yesterday, "whys Mr. Ass-kisser look like he got fired and divorsed at the same time?" He adds laughing

You chuckle as you take the towel from him and place it in the dirty clothes basket next to you. "Apparently Sanas sick," you can't help but bite your lip and rub your hands together nervously. The fact that this was one of your first significant shoots didn't help matters–why couldn't this have happened a few months from now, when you'd learnt how to deal with stress like this? Why now?

"Oh shit," Jake says, rubbing a hand over his, you asumed freshly shaved, beard, "what now?" He asks, as if you knew any better

You look around the place, its only now that you notice everyone getting more nervous by the minute

"I really don't know," you cross your arms over your light blue oversized hoodie–a limited edition CK one that lia sneaked out for you from the back–frowning as you now both watched Mr. Hardis run circles on set. You side eye Jake and he does the same, making the two of you break out in laughter

The situation wasnt funny, but the way youd never seen Mr. Hardis this nervous was sort of amusing

"Okay," you giggle, gazing down at your phone before switching it off again. "I need to start preparing for makeup," you tell Jake, lightly touching his arm as you turn to face him. "His Majesty's about to arrive," you joke before leaving

"Dont forget to kiss his feet when he arrives!" Jake calls after you, and all you do is raise your thumb saying, "Will do!"

- 9 am, 2nd shoot day JUNGKOOK -

A knock on his hotel room door wipes Jungkook out of his daydream as he now stares at himself in the mirror. Hed just taken a shower, the mirror still lightly foggy as the reflexion revealed him

Jungkook hasnt felt like himself in years

No matter how hard he tries

No matter how hard he works on his body

He looks great, no doubt

But when he looks at his reflection, he doesnt see himself

Sure he sees his body, the way his abs ripple without him trying, the towel losely hanging around his waist threatening to fall off by any small movement. His necklace, the angelwing charm hanging from it, the memories that stick to it...its all too much.

But he doesnt see himself–just a version of him that carries him through his day

With a shake of his head he runs a hand through his dripping wet hair. "Jungkook, we leave in 15" his assistant speaks from outside the door, making him nod even if she couldnt hear. She leaves soon after, knowing well hed heard

His clothing was chosen for him the night before by a stylist his assistant took care of hiring for his stay in LA

A light blue flowy jacket and a white tank top. Looking down, he finds a pair of baggy jeans and Converse. Enough to make it to the shoot.

His gaze returns to the necklace from earlier, which is now neatly laying on his nightsand. Jungkooks eyes dart away, only to return a split second later. He nibbles on the bottom of his lip before tossing his head back and poking the inside of his cheek. "Goddammit," he exclaims before walking up and looking down at the jewellery in his hand

"Fuck," he mumbles, his hand forming a fist and clenching it tightly. "Damnit," he hisses as he throws his head back, frowning and tossing the necklace somewhere in the room

He turns away, about to leave, when he comes to a halt and glances back. Shaking his head, he walks over and picks it up again, this time placing it in his back pocket

-

"I need a coffee, let's stop somewhere," Jungkook says 5 minutes into the journey to the shooting location, his gaze never leaving his phone as he texts Namjoon and Yoongi

The black van is empty, with just his two managers sitting opposite him, arranging today's schedule before sending it to his assistant, who had arrived at the set after being told a staff member's sick.

Being Jungkook's assistant meant not just dealing with his fuck ups, but also dealing with those of others around him. He'd had five in the previous four years, and this one was holding up rather well

Yet he tried not to get too attached. Not that he had to try hard anyway

"We can do that," one of them says, before telling the driver, who makes a fast right turn

Groupchat: 🐰🐨🐱

Joon: hows LA Man

Today 9:20 am

Joon: paparazzi followed you till your hotel yet?

Today 9:20 am

Jungkook rolls his eyes at his friends sarcastic messages

Jungkook: fuck off man

Today 9:21 am

Jungkook: you know my parents pay them enough to stay off my back when im off duty

Today 9:21 am

Namjoon: yet you still think youre not spoiled

Today 9:22 am

Namjoon: money cant buy happiness kookie

Today 9:22 am

Jungkook: dont call me that

Today 9:23 am

Jungkook: yes it can

Today 9:23 am

Namjoon: well, im happy and and I've never once regretted not taking on my dads company and marrying Jini instead

Today 9:24 am

Jungkook: so you tell me every single time we talk about this

Today 9:24 am

Namjoon: cause its true! Being rich is great, i believe that, but love man?

Today 9:25 am

Jungkook: im gonna stop you right there

Today 9:25 am

Namjoon: yet youre still carrying that damn charm with you right now, arent you?

Today 9:26 am

When Jungkook doesnt answer, Namjoon types again

Namjoon: exactly

Today 9:26 am

Yoongi: cant yall text in fucking private

Today 9:27 am

Yoongi: im trying to sleep

Today 9:27 am

Jungkook: isnt it like 5pm over there?

Today 9:28 am

Joon: yeah.

Today 9:28 am

Yoongi: yeah

Today 9:30 am

For a moment, no one texts, so Jungkook turns his phone off to look outside the black tinted window. Too many thoughts running around in his pretty head

Yoongi: Also, Jungkook, get over her already, she broke your heart 7 years ago. Time to move on

Today 9:35 am

- Flashback–7 years ago–JUNGKOOK -

"I got it for you," he says, tilting his head to gaze at Mina, who only raises her brow at him

"A charm...?" She asks, a little surprised, as she fiddles with the gift in her hand

Jungkook's grin fades slightly, "I mean yeah? So you can think of me when you miss me," he says, burying his face in her neck, smile returning "you know I'll be gone for 2 months baby."

"I know," she says, rolling her eyes as she looks down at the angelwing pendant, "but this? It's not necessary. If I miss you, I can call you," she laughs

"You can," he shrugs, drawing her in closer, tugging a stray blonde hair strand out her face "or you can be a little romantic and look at it when you miss me."

- End of Flashback -

Jungkook's arrival at the venue is anything but quiet and on the low, as cameras swarm his car before he can even get out. He curses the people who continually reveal his location to the paparazzi, making his day even more difficult

"Jk, over here!"

"Who are you wearing?"

"Do you care about anything besides fame and money? What do you aspire to be?"

"What do you think about your supposed fans leaking private videos of yourself?"

"Was your 2018 public breakup a PR stunt?" Tell us!"

After his security men clear the path, he puts on his black facemask and steps out of the van. It is short. Only a 20-foot walk till he was safely inside the set location

He sighs, his gaze meeting that of the countless cameramen vying for his attention. Big cameras covering most ofbtheir faces–at least they got a good quality shot of him

He refuses to back down as he maintains eye contact, clearly annoyed by the invasion of his privacy. "Come on this way," one of his bodyguards guides him inside, and once the door closes behind them, he lets out a sigh of relief, looking back up as he removes his mask–tattooed hand on full display. Anyone who didnt recognise him before, did now.

That famous ink covered hand

He made quite a stir when he reappeared after a year of disappearance from the public eye. They used to know him as an 18 year old who had just graduated from high school. But when he returned, he looked drastically different, with tattoos and piercings all over. He was definitely not the same person they thought they knew oh so well

And maybe that was for the better

What he doesn't expect is to make eye contact with you, who happens to be looking up from the loud noise he caused, once he lifts his head

Did you do your makeup differently today? He didn't remember you looking this dolled up yestedsay

You did, in fact, apply more makeup today. Only to appear presentable, and totally not because Hobi kept you up all night convincing you that you would look more professional if you, as the makeup artist, actually wore make up. Who would have guessed?

But you can't help but think hobi had ulterior motives...like attempting to get you and Jungkook to click

That would never happen, of course, because he is a celebrity with millions upon millions of fans. And you were, well, you. That wasn't a negative thing–you enjoyed yourself the way you were and would never want to be the one in the spotlight

But you couldn't deny that there was a difference between you and Jungkook

Not that you thought about him and you together while taking a nice selfcare bath yesterday. You totally didnt!

Fine, maybe you thought about it a little, but not for more than 5 minutes anyway...

Ugh, who could blame you? The man was smoking hot! But that didnt chance the fact that he was a total dick

So as you keep staring at him, not wanting to be the first to give up, Lia suddenly taps you on the shoulder, and you're compelled to.

"Uhm," she starts, biting her lower lip, making you anxious as you shift your whole focus to her.

Somethings up

Her blonde hair was longer than yesterday, you did remember her telling you she was getting extensions. They looked good. Her smile was usually contagious, but this time it looked...nervous–terrified

"Listen, don't be mad at me because I wasn't the one who suggested this, but-" she begins rambling, making you place your hands down on both her hsoulders

"calm down," you interrupt, a chuckle escaping your mouth, "what's wrong Lia?"

"They want you to replace Sana..." Lia exhales deeply. "For the whole rest of the week"

Your eyes widen in surprise as Lia's words hang in the air.

What...?

You stammer, unable to find the appropriate words...unable to think straight "wha-" you open your lps to speak, only to let out a little laugh. "You-"

"haha! You're messing with me!" You softly hit her delicate shoulder, shaking your head, some strands of hair falling out your bun "really lia you had me there for a second i really though-" you pause to laugh again, clutching your stomach, your manicured finger nails digging into the soft fabric of your hoodie "-i really thought you were for real for a second there" you laugh, scrunching up your nose, waiting for her to laugh as well. Clear up the joke and laugh with you.

But when she doesn't, her face staying serious, maybe even more nervous, your smile fades. "Youre fucking with me...right?" You repeat more, solemnly just for the purpose of giving her a last chance "Right?!" Panic starts to creep in.

Oh no

Oh no no no

You weren't about to jump in for Sana as the head stylist for one of your company's most critical shoots of the year.

This felt like your worst nightmare, you were dreaming right? That would make sense! You were dreaming! You were-

"Y/n" Lias voice brings you back to reality

Your gaze is drawn away from hers as she rests a reassuring hand on your shoulder, as if to say, 'you'll be OK,' but you aren't. And you werent going to be

"Listen, Sana is not stupid, you know how she loves to be prepared, I'm sure there's a sort of notebook in Jungkook's changing room with notes on the outfits for today," Lia tries to be as helpful as she can in order to calm you down. Qnd as you breathe and nod, she does a little

You were a confident person–you usually were! But having to be in charge of a whole shoot just might have sounded like your worst nightmare

"Oh my god," you say, your voice barely audible, filled with a mix of shock and horror. Your heart races as you try to find the words to explain the overwhelming feeling that has taken hold of you. Once again. It was like a cycle

"What?" Lia asks, her voice filled with concern, as if it weren't evident from your expression, and the current situation.

You take a deep breath, feeling your stomach turn with unease. "I think I'm going to throw up-" you manage to utter, your voice trembling. In a desperate attempt to shield Lia from whatever catastrophe may be about to come out your mouth, you quickly turn around, but in your motion, you face plant with something solid. Or, more precisely, someone.

"Are we ready for the shoot?"

Oh shit. What were the consequences of simply running out the venue now? Because, to be frank, you'd love to sink into the ground right this instant–once again

-

Opening your eyes, you're met with complete darkness. That's it. You've died. Your body couldn't handle it and gave up on you.

Dying of nervousness was not the way you imagined your life to end but-

However, as the person standing in front of you takes a step back, you finally get a chance to look up. Of course its other than Jeon Jungkook. "I asked if we're ready to start," he asks again, clearly annoyed, as he pokes the inside of his cheek–his piercings even more noticeable that way. Ah, stop it. Stop staring at him, y/n. You need to focus on the task at hand.

"W-were," you stammer, glancing at Lia, who merely nods frantically, her glasses almost falling off her face

"We- we have to wait for sana" you say looking back at lia, her brows raising as she shakes her head immediately. "I cant do this" you whisper

Sighing lia places her hand on your shoulder as she addresses Jungkook, whos already more than annoyed as he crosses his arms

"How about you get dressed first, and we do your makeup lastly?" she proposes clapping her hands together as she looks between the two of you. Jungkook merely nods "whatever" as he checks his phone. They needed to find another makeup artist right away, which wasn't difficult given that Lia had previously majored in it. Thank goodness for Lia. And thank God for Jake, who comes over and hands you a bottle of water as she leaves

You mouth a quick thank you, opening the bottle, smiling at him. Your hands are slightly trembling, which Jungkook notices. In fact, he never fails to notice any minor annoyance or perk you have. He takes note of every facial expression, every sigh, and murmur. It's as if he can tell and sense how you feel from a mile away. He doesn't know why–maybe its the fact that you called him an idiot that still bothers him, so you're all he can think about from the moment he arrives on set until he leaves. That makes perfect sense. Without a doubt. For. Sure.

Jungkook's gaze darts between you two, becoming darker by the second. You should be guiding him to the dressing room and assisting him by now. Not chatting with some wannabe photographer who couldnt get his angles righg

"I don't have all day," Jungkook says again, almost getting between you two, "let's go"

You stare at his back as he walks away, then at Jake, who sighs shaking his head "good luck" and grins sympathetically

"Thank you," you bite your bottom lip, nodding, "I'll need it."

-

You were about to give up only a few minutes ago, but now you merely shrug, swallowing those emotions–your pride and holding back those tears as you make your way behind Jungkook to his dressing room

He obviously got the big one, the one with the bright lights on the mirror and the luxury leather couch inside. Sometimes, you wish you could just fall asleep on it cause it looked quite cosy–it even had a heating option. Heaven

The room was designed for celebrities like him, not nameless models whose sole purpose was to showcase a new collection. No. This was Jeon Jungkook, and at the end of the day, no one cared about the damn clothes.

"Have you ever been in here?" He asks cynically, not really caring if you were or weren't, but his sigh at the end of the sentence told you everything you needed to know-he was irritated.

You tried not to care because at the end of the day you were only the stylist for the time being. And the remainder of the week. "I have," you simply respond after taking a deep breath and glancing around for some form of direction.

You thank the heavens when you spot Sana's all-too-familiar note book, opening it in relief. "Well," you nod, keeping two pages open and placing it on the dresser. "Shall we start?" You put on a fake smile as your gaze meets his. Yet falls when you catch him on his phone, as uninterested as ever.

You clear your throat again. "Shall we start-"

"I got it the first time, no need to catch an attitude." he adds as he throws his phone on the previously mentioned couch, where it bounces once and lands at the edge–almost falling. And while you might have been concerned that it would break, Jungkook couldn't care less.

Of course not, he could easily afford ten of them. One of the benefits of having an insane amount of money was being able to buy things without worrying about them leaving a denk in your bank account

Lucky fucker

You couldn't even imagine what it would be like to have even half of what he has. It would be nice. To be able to afford a flat in a better neighbourhood than your current one. But then again, youd would miss the nightly convenience store runs.

Your attention returns to him from the couch after you roll your eyes. What you don't expect is Jungkook to stand in front of the mirror–shirtless. "Well?"

Your gaze instinctively moves to his chest, taking in the sight of the chains covering his neck and the incredibly well defined muscles. When you move your eyes down, you can't help but notice his insanely perfect sculpted abs. You never meant to ogle, but there's no denying that this man has a very close built of a what youd imagine a greek god to look like. In fact, you find yourself easily believing he is one.

"Right," you mumble as you look behind him, your sight fixed on the heap of clothes. Your gaze is drawn to the black leather jacket that Sana had neatly sketched in her notebook. Bingo.

You stride towards it with confident steps, picking it from the pile and handing it to him without saying anything. "Now, let's see about what to wear underneath," you say, your fingers running over the large rack of clothes. "What are you thinking?" A bunch of colourful pieces attract your attention, but it makes no difference what you choose

Prioritising the client's desires was one of the first lessons you learned during fashion school. Your option is second, if not third.

You don't hesitate to hand him the leather slacks he's supposed to wear when you find them a little farther down the rack. You weren't a big fan of leather, on yourself or anyone else. So it's a good thing he wore those today. In some way, it might make you gag rather than attracted...right?

Maybe gag is a strong word

Moving on

Even if you looked unbothered or nonchalant, you were still nervous. There was a burning fire deep within the depts of your mind. If someone could look into your mind right now, it would seem like a scene from a horror movie, with people frantically racing about, yelling, and screaming

It's amusing that you look so cool on the surface, yet in realith, you were on the edge of crumbling at the smallest inconvenience. For example, the sheer thought of Jungkook dropping his pants would have been enough to drive you into a coma-

Wait

As you stare at him, your eyes widen. Stay calm. Keep cool. Maintain your professionalism.

Live, laugh, love

This is normal–how else would he be able to put on the pants youd just given him?

Jungkook chuckles. When he notices your humiliated face looking away, he fucking laughs.

However he decides not to tease you just yet. As he looks in the full length mirror, he admires his nearly finished outfit. "I'm supposed to wear boots with this," he says in a casual tone, not mocking you. Thank God.

"Right," you respond as you swallow and walk to the small cupboard where he placed his old clothes, stooping down to look for his boots before handing them to him. But before you can do any of that, your sight is drawn to the smalles flicker in the corner beneath it, and you frown. You slyly grab it–it probably belonged to Sana or someone else who left it here

The boots are chuncky and black and have some silver elements to it. Yup, definitely something hed wear–given that hed be a walking rockstar if he were to have chosen the muisc route

Jungkook adjusts his jacket in front of the mirror once he gets up–now looking a little taller than before. He nods once, sighing as he clicks his tongue and looks at you through the mirror–your gazes dont meet immediately as he catches you looking down at your hand. Your hair effortlessly falls into your face, covering most of it, but he can still catch the way your lips purse

Your gaze is drawn down to the little charm you just picked up. Small but significant–at least, that's what you'd like to believe. It was a pair of wings. They couldn't be a birds–they were too big, but they could be angels. That sounded a lot better. Angelwings.

You'd leave it in the lost and found before you left work today, whoever lost it must be looking for it.

For a little while, you consider...No. It couldn't have been his. It was completely unlike him.

Then again, you shouldn't be acting like you knew him

With a shrug of your shoulders you place it in your back pocket before looking up

You give a genuine smile this time. "I was thinking for your shirt we could-" you begin, looking around the room for the top that caught your eye earlier, but Jungkook interrupts

"I'm not wearing a shirt."

"Uhm," you turn to him, bewildered, fiddling with your fingers, "youre not?" You ask almost whispering, and this was the perfect time to slap your forehead.

What did this man do for you to suddenly be so quiet?

Blame it on the stress

You expect him to make fun of you, but all he does is shake his head. "This is good," he adds again as he adjusts his hair–black locks already looking perfect, there was simply no need to style it. But of course they would have to anyway "this is exactly what I hoped for."

[funkycatbruh]

after hours, part one — myg [m]

⤷ summary. staying after hours with Yoongi for months proves to be a mistake when your heart falls for him.

pairing. fuckboy!basketball captain!min yoongi x fem!reader

genre. smut (18+), angst, fluff, fuckboy au, college au, unrequited love au.

» please don’t flag this post. if u don’t like it, just scroll. don’t be petty and flag creator’s posts, if u do that, ur not fücking cool 👎

warnings. fuckboy!yoongi, friends (more like aquaintences?) with benefits, major angst (it’s worse on the second part but there’s still a lot of it), fluff (weird, right?), unrequited love, yoongi is hot in this but he’s a bit of an asshole, basketball captain!yoongi, fuckboy!yoongi needs its own warning, explicit language (cursing, sexual talk, etc), reader suffers so much that i feel kinda bad, quite toxic friendships, yoongi is a teeeeease, bed !! sharing !!, yuri is a pain in the ass, everyone wants yoongi like damn, yoongi smokes cigarettes, smut, (oh boyyyyy), two s*x scenes, a LOT dirty talk, dom!yoongi, sub!reader, some dom/sub themes, dumbification, disgusting pet names (doll, baby girl, baby, y’all know the drill), äss play (f. receiving), n*pple play, humiliation, degrädation kïnk, cūnnilingus, rough sēx, yoongi lowkey has a begging k*nk, fīnger^ng, protected sęx (be smart like them), mentions of unprotected s*x and creampies, m^ssīonãry + c*wgirl pøsition, cúm swãllowing + eating, sn*wballing, semi-public sēx (they do it in the men’s locker room hehe), p*ssy eating, blowjob, face-fúcking, big d*ćk yoongi, wet n messy sêx.

word count. 25.3k 💌 (my finger slipped)

note. goddamn. i can’t believe this fic is finally out !! (part one only but still). I have literally put my blood, sweat and tears (lol) into this :’) after a lot of research on how basketball works bc i had never actually seen a basketball game and a fucking lot of drafting and re-writing, it’s here ahhhh !! this yoongi is the fucking hottest i swear and i am actually in love, even if he is a bit of an asshole :p hope u guys love this fic as much as i do and enjoy the ride <3 and a hugeeeee thank u to my love @jjkeverlast for beta’ing this fic !! love u so so much, ur the best ever 💌 part 2 will come out in about 2 weeks.

links. main masterlist ; taglist

You probably should have gone to the party that your best friend told you about.

But you were too emotionally drained from all the studying, and the last thing you needed was a social gathering you knew would only suck you out of your energy even more.

You’ve been so exhausted lately— your lectures have turned difficult, and your time has lately been consumed by either studying or your classes.

And so, you’re alone on a Friday night inside your shared apartment, watching some trashy TV romance while eating microwave popcorn and wearing your Spongebob Squarepants knee-socks.

Imagine your surprise once you hear the doorbell ring when you’re not expecting anyone tonight—your best friend is at that damn frat party, you didn’t order takeout just yet, and it’s not like you have a lot of intimate friends other than Yuri.

You reluctantly open the door, silently hoping no serial killer would be on the other side, but no, it’s even worse.

“Yoongi?” You ask, almost gasping, but you’re too tired for your body to show any signs of strong emotions when meeting the man you secretly longed to see.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks, and you’re almost sure you pick up something of concern in his smooth voice, but you know it’s only your hallucination. You know for a fact that Yoongi doesn’t care for his hookups, or in other words, you.

You first met him during a party, and you were enamoured by his captivating brown eyes the minute they met yours.

You had heard about him before. The notorious fuckboy slash basketball captain that caught many hearts in his hands and squeezed them to death.

You promised yourself you would never acquaint yourself with him. The stories you heard, makes him out to be the worst monster of them all inside your head, with ugly green eyes that were ready to eat anyone who had a pussy.

And who ate women’s hearts until there was nothing red left.

But who knew such a monster could be so incredibly beautiful in ways you had never dreamed of?

But maybe that’s why he was such a nightmare; why he had such ease in luring prey into his deadly trap.

You got tipsy from the beers that were passed around to your hands by your best friend, and you went from making many eye contacts with a certain basketball player to him fucking you hard on the back of his car, while your best friend, Yuri explored the whole house in search for the black-haired boy you were under.

At the time, you didn’t understand how his eyes fell on you instead of on your best friend, who was much prettier than you and looked at him through the rose-coloured glasses you would only months later after that night.

However, you now get why his eyes fell on you.

You had a ‘good girl’ image and anyone that laid their eyes on you could sense a sort of naiveness that Yoongi craved.

He lived for it.

And you were just another one of his prey. A piece of meat he would then soon discard after he sucked every last bit of the blood inside your system.

You swore to yourself you wouldn’t be like them. That you wouldn’t fall for his deadly charm like other girls did. You thought you were different from them, until a few months later, when you were grabbing some take-out after a heavy secret make-out session in his car.

When he flashed you his beautiful gummy smile. Your world stopped and everything came crashing down when you realised you were in love with the devil, that is Min Yoongi, and he caught your heart with his deadly hands just like other girls.

Knowing you are in love with another human is supposed to be euphoric, the poets say.

The sonnets describe how swelled up in sheer giddiness you must be from experiencing such a powerful, deep emotion for your significant other.

And you knew you were doomed because when you realised your heart only beats for Yoongi, it only made you hurt in ways that left you crying for days. So much so, that time became nonexistent and days bled into another as you grieved for the loss of your own heart that you stupidly let him take away from you.

You weren’t different from the others—you weren’t the one special enough to change Min Yoongi’s heart. To make him love you.

And you only push the dagger an inch more into your bleeding heart every time you continue to sleep with him, knowing you will never get his heart to heal you in ways you so desire.

No one knows of your affair, and you were the one who wanted to keep it that way. If anybody knew, you would be cast away in other people’s as nothing more than another one of Yoongi’s many hookups, and even worse, if your best friend found out she would have your head.

Yuri was always a jealous woman—the men she hooked up with, which was a very good amount, she got angry with the woman they would kiss a week later, and would always make their lives a living hell in the most subtle of ways.

And the ones whom Min Yoongi hooked up with were the ones that had it the worst.

“What are you doing here, Yoongi?” You put your mouth before your lips, yawning while talking, eyes blood-red from the exhaustion you feel.

Your sleepy eyes follow his frame up and down, and you can see he isn’t in his usual ‘asshole’ attire, as you would joke with Yuri—instead, he wears grey sweats and a simple, plain white tee shirt. You could even mistake him for a good guy if you didn’t already know the malicious intentions behind the fiery brown eyes you’ve regretfully grown to find beautiful.

But what catches your attention is the jewellery that stayed intact—two thin silver chains around his neck (he usually wears more extravagant ones), bracelets on his pulse, and his signature rings on his fingers.

If you hadn’t looked down to rapidly inspect his veiny, ring-filled fingers, you wouldn't be able to find one specific piece of jewellery that makes your lungs almost break and your breath to be taken away.

It’s the ring you gave him for his birthday a few months ago.

“What’s this?” Yoongi furrows his eyebrows as he slowly takes the small box out of the small plastic bag, and you feel your palms sweating from the anticipation and nervousness that swallows you whole.

“Um. Just something for your, uh, birthday.” You clear your throat, and Yoongi lifts his head to arch one of his eyebrows.

“My birthday was a week ago.”

You roll your eyes, “I know that, dickhead. Did you know I had to find out from Yuri, who heard from Mina, who had to hear after fucking Jungkook—“

“Alright, alright, I get it.” Yoongi chuckles, and you let out a heavy sigh as you watch him inspect the little plastic black box on his fingers.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You cross your arms, and Yoongi chuckles. He can almost hear your pout while he slowly opens the box and places the lid on his lap.

“Didn’t think you’d care.”

You roll your eyes at his comment, and you scoff silently—could he be even more dense?

“Of course, I would care, idiot. I have to give a present to the man who’s made me come so many times. It’s the least I could do.” You scoff, and Yoongi laughs loudly.

It’s a laugh you don’t usually hear from Yoongi’s pretty lips. He usually only chuckles with you, never showing the smile you so adore, and now your heart flutters and your stomach turns at the sensation that overwhelms your chest when you watch such a rare scene in front of you.

He isn’t chuckling or smirking. But laughing. At something you said.

You couldn’t think your heart could fall even deeper into the depths of your doom, yet one smile from his cherry lips already has you even deeper than before.

You’re entering a rabbit’s hole by letting yourself stupidly fall for Min Yoongi, and at this point in time, you don’t know how or even if you can get out.

You clear your throat, your heart beating fast as you watch Yoongi observe the present.

It’s a ring, one you found in a cheap jewellery store that is beside the little coffee shop you work for, and you immediately thought of Yoongi when you saw it. You know he likes his jewellery and this one was much cheaper than the ones he usually buys.

You’re nervous, your erratic heartbeat pulsating in your ear as you wait for his reaction. Will he hate it? Will he discard it as soon as he—

“Shit. I love it.” Yoongi chuckles, putting the ring on one of his only free fingers, the middle finger. “Thanks, doll. I appreciate it.”

You can’t help the warmth inside your heart at his words, relief washing down all the previous anxiety on your nerves.

“Want a birthday blowjob, too?”

“Oh, hell yeah.”

Yoongi opens his mouth to answer you, but you cut him off, rubbing your sleepy eyes while trying to keep your mouth from yawning once again, “If you came here for sex, I really can’t do it tonight; I’m busy—”

“Studying?” Yoongi raises his eyebrows, and you sigh, nodding your head while groaning, “Well, you always say that, and next thing you’re begging me to make you cum.”

You cringe at his lewd words, “What the fuck, can you not say things like that? Pervert.” You roll your eyes, and Yoongi laughs, throwing the smile that never fails to make your stomach turn and your heart flutter in ways you only experience with him.

“And no, I’m not studying this time. I’m just watching some TV before going to sleep.” You grumble, and Yoongi fake gasps, dramatically opening his mouth to drag out the gasp more than it needs to, and you playfully roll your eyes.

“Oh, is Miss goody-two-shoes actually having time for herself, hm?” Yoongi teases, a small smile tugging on his lips, and you try to fight the butterflies that flap in your stomach with a small scoff.

You shouldn’t be feeling this.

You know Yoongi only sees you as another one of his hook-ups, one he doesn’t care for, only only when you have what he needs, when he needs it.

Your brain knows that, but your heart chooses to ignore it when it hopelessly flutters for him every time he kisses you as if you were his, and sinks to your stomach every time he leaves you that same night.

You’ve made many mistakes in your life, but falling for Min Yoongi must be the worst of them all.

Your everything sings for him, for the three words out of his lips, but his heart would never hear your melodies as you wish so much. And every day that passes a piece of you is taken away, a reminder of your fatal mistake that is loving a man that only sees you as meat and is blind for your soul that calls for his.

You should have never let your heart become such an open book, filled with unspoken words of affection for him, a man who never had the desire to open you, to read you in ways you so ached for.

And you still lie here, sinking in a sea of hurt, choking on your blood every time you accept Yoongi into your heart for the sake of having him beside you, for having the pleasure of touching him. Even if the fog of lust blinds his eyes and you can only wish for him to see you as clearly as you see him.

“I’m just too tired to study.” You yawn, and Yoongi leans in, barging inside your territory and into the uncharted waters of your hopeless heart—even if he doesn’t know it.

“Y’know what would make you relax?” One of his brows goes up, and he bites his pink lips, lust fogging his eyes in the way you already know.

He’s the diesel that ignites an unwanted fire in your heart, and he’s the only hazard that can make you hot with desire in mere seconds.

You put your index finger on his chest and push him away from you, and he only chuckles, amused by your response. “Nope. Not today, Min.”

“Alright.” Yoongi pouts slightly, putting his hands in his pockets—how can this man be so hot yet cute? He’s messing with your head, and you don’t like it one bit. “Can I at least come in to watch some Netflix? Or whatever you were watching.”

“Why the hell should I let you in?” You raise one eyebrow, challenging him, and Yoongi hums.

“Good question. Well, I’m fucking bored. I have nothing to do tonight.”

“That’s bullshit.” You scoff, and Yoongi furrows his eyebrows, “There’s a party at one of your friend’s frat parties. You could easily just go there.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

“The fuck? What happened to you?” You snort, and Yoongi sighs.

Yoongi was always at a party on or off campus. It was where he sought his next prey, one that looked innocent enough to fall for his charms. And, unfortunately, you were one of them.

“I told you, I’m not in the mood, doll.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, “I just wanna watch something to cure my boredom, and I saw you were online. But if you want me to go, I will.”

“And the first thought was to come here and annoy me?” You click your tongue, and when Yoongi playfully pouts again, your heart gives out like the weak woman you are. “Fine, okay. But no funny business, k?”

“Pinky promise.” Yoongi raises his pinky, and you scrunch your eyebrows, looking at his hand with uncertainty before you wrap your pinky around his.

“Alright, get in.”

It’s a mistake, you know it, the universe knows it—but your body can’t help but jump at any opportunity that opens where you have him for yourself. Where you’re alone with him, without the rest of the world yelling at you just how hurt you will be, just how wrong it is to have feelings Yoongi.

“Holy fuck. Are those Spongebob knee-socks?” Yoongi laughs, and heat covers your chest in embarrassment.

Oh fuck.

You forgot about those.

“They are very comfortable, okay? Shut up. You can go away if you’re just gonna annoy me like that.”

“Sorry, doll. They’re cute. Very you style.”

You pause at that, “Me style? What the hell does that mean?”

Yoongi shrugs, “They’re just very you. Dunno how to explain it.”

You give him a suspicious look before whispering a small ‘okay’, ignoring the butterflies that fly around the flowers that bloom inside your heart, and you can only hope they won’t be poison to your soul.

He follows you to the sofa after you lock your door, and once he sees what is on your TV, he can’t help but let out a little laugh.

“You’re watching the notebook?”

“Don’t you dare shame me. This movie is a fucking masterpiece.” You huff as you sit on the corner of the couch, and Yoongi chuckles, sitting on the other side, and you’re grateful for the distance between your bodies.

You wouldn’t even want to know how your night would end if he had sitten next to you.

“You got lucky. I literally just started watching it.”

The movie plays, and two hours go by like nothing as you engross yourself with the movie. You couldn’t help yourself to catch glimpses of Yoongi as you both watched the film, your eyes scanning every inch of his beautiful face, your heart screaming for his body to get closer to yours, for you to feel his warmth as if he were yours.

You were completely, utterly mesmerized by the beautiful features that adorn his face. His eyes, twin embers that completely take hold of your being, stop the breath of your lungs, and you can’t function.

You begin to wonder, entering the deadly waters that are to imagine—what would it be like if he were yours?

You yearn to speak, to unveil your heart and get rid of this burden that is carrying this love in silence.

Yet your words falter, and you can’t seem to find your voice in his presence.

How could you tell your heart beats for him when all he will do is slip through your hands when the words come out of your mouth?

You need more time with him until you have the courage to let him go.

The film finishes and you can sense your eyes and throat stinging from the last scene. Fuck, why did you choose such an emotional film?

“Doll, are you crying?” Yoongi teases with a chuckle, and you grab a pillow, throwing it on his face with all the force you have in your arms.

“Shut the f-fuck up.” You sniffle, and Yoongi continues laughing.

“Asshole.” You scoff, and Yoongi continues to giggle for a little while before you feel a sudden presence beside you. Arms wrap around your crying frame, and your head falls to a chest. His chest.

“I had no idea you were so emotional,” Yoongi chuckles, and you cry even more when you feel slow taps on your head.

The film is long forgotten inside your head, and silent tears fall to your cheeks as your heart pleads for this to be real, for this to last forever, for time to stop and for you to stay here, with him, just like this.

As if he were yours.

As if you were together.

“God,” You sniffle while rubbing your runny nose, “This is embarrassing. Ugh.”

“Nah, it’s not. It would be worse if you were an ugly crier.” Yoongi laughs lightly, and you smack his chest while letting out a small chuckle.

“I can’t believe you’re not crying.” Yoongi continues to pat your head, and you can’t help but feel this is oddly domestic. It feels natural, so right that your heart can’t help but ease into the fog of hope that everything will be okay.

It’s dangerous, to forget about the pain in your heart, and maybe you will pay the price later.

“I don’t cry, doll.”

You roll your eyes, “Yeah, yeah, you’re the cold fuckboy without feelings and all that.”

Yoongi snorts, “Yeah.”

“Y’know, crying doesn’t make you weak. Just saying. It can actually make you much more relieved. It’s therapeutic.”

Yoongi hums, “I just haven’t felt like crying in a long time.”

You should let go already.

Staying like this, under his arms when you’re so vulnerable is dangerous. But no sense of danger would ever compare to the feeling of letting yourself go, of falling without the fear of reaching the ground.

“What’s your favourite fruit?”

You furrow your eyebrows and almost laugh at the question, “What?”

“I asked what your favourite fruit is.”

“Uh, I heard it. Why? That’s so random, dude.”

Yoongi clicks his tongue, “I’m not good at dealing with people crying. I’m trying my best here, damn.”

You chuckle, “Aw, that’s cute of you.”

“Shut up and answer the damn question.”

“Jeez okay,” you snort at his defensiveness—maybe you should call him cute more often. “Hm, I’d say apples.”

“Ew.” Yoongi scrunches his face, “Tangerines are so much better.”

“I’m guessing that’s your favourite fruit?” Your lips tug into a small smile while you feel your small tears dry up.

“Fuck yeah, they’re the best thing in this world.”

“They taste disgusting.” You make a small gag sound, and Yoongi scoffs at your words. “Makes sense why you like them.”

“Are you calling me disgusting?” Yoongi stops patting your head, and you can’t help the smirk on your lips.

Teasing and getting on Yoongi’s nerves is your favourite pastime—he falls right into your trap, and you absolutely love it. Who would have thought a man with a reputation such as his could be so easy to lure onto your trap?

“Mmm, maybe.”

You finally have the courage to take your head off his chest, and when your eyes catch him, you feel the world stop. Time is nothing and the universe is only inside his eyes.

“Mm, I’m not so disgusting when you let me fuck you, now am I, doll?” Yoongi chuckles, and you bite your lip, your eyes never leaving his.

“You have a good dick, what can I say?” You shrug, trying hard to contain your smile when his tongue presses on his cheek.

“Fuck, doll. Can I kiss you?” Yoongi whispers, placing his hand on your cheeks.

Your heartbeat picks up its pace.

“You pinky promised no funny business, Yoongi.” You whisper back, eyes falling to his luscious mouth.

“But this isn’t anything funny,” Yoongi smirks lazily and you scoff.

“Fuck you.” Your hand grabs his black t-shirt, and his addicting lips are on yours in mere seconds.

Fuck you for making me feel this way. Fuck you for distracting me. Fuck you for letting me fall in love with you.

The kiss is hard, lust-filled and so passionate, you could even mistake it for two lovers who haven’t seen each other in so many years.

You’re so caught up in your lust-drunken haze, you don’t know how you’re straddling his lap, with lips devouring the skin of your neck, claiming what Yoongi doesn’t know is already, completely, secretly his.

“Fuck, you have no idea—“ Yoongi groans, and feel his veiny hands travelling down past your shorts, and all you can think of is the heavenly feeling of his fingers tracing your skin as he kisses you with all the fire in the world. “How much I missed all of this.”

Shivers run through your spine, and you throw your head back when you feel his index finger slowly rubbing your sensitive nub.

“What’s your safe word, hm?” Yoongi asks between wet kisses on your collarbone, and you mutter a small ‘purple’, a small smirk on his lips as he kisses all the way back to your neglected mouth.

“Good girl,” He whispers to your ear, and you let out a little yelp when he lightly slaps your clit, “Let’s go to your bedroom, hm?”

“I’m way too lazy for that.” You whisper through wet kisses, and Yoongi chuckles, one of his ring-filled hands finding your butt and squeezing it.

You gasp slightly, and Yoongi bites his tongue, a cocky smirk tugging on his lips, “Love this fuckin’ ass. Did you miss me, baby?”

“Nah, not really. Had my showerhead to keep me company.” You tease, and Yoongi bites his lip before kissing you so fiercely, your breath suddenly goes away.

“You’re such a bad liar, doll,” Yoongi whispers on your lips, and your heart surrenders once more.

You told yourself you wouldn’t fall for his charm again, that you would fight the desire that took hold of your body whenever you saw him.

And now, all you need is to be taken care of by the hands you so long for. Have yourself forget the pain that sinks your heart to the depths of the seas of unrequited love, even if just for one night.

One last night, you tell yourself.

Those words are almost a ritual in your mind now whenever you and Yoongi sleep together, always promising that it will be the last night you end up fucking, that you will move on and grab the heart from his hands that is rightfully yours.

Yoongi suddenly gets up and you immediately wrap your legs around his small waist.

You’re thrown on your mattress once you’re inside your small bedroom, and before you could even groan from the contact with your back, Yoongi’s red lips catch yours in a rough, demanding kiss.

You’re about to take off your knee socks, but Yoongi gently grabs your arm, restricting any more movement.

“Keep ‘em.”

“You sure?”

“I told you. They’re cute.” Yoongi smirks at your flushed reaction, and you clear your throat before whispering a small ‘okay’ and shifting to your previous position.

His hand is under your shorts once more, and you gasp once you feel two fingers taking a stripe of your slit, “Pussy is so fucking wet already, and you still had the audacity to say you didn’t miss me.”

“I did—didn’t.”

“Fucking liar.” Yoongi brings his hand to his red lips, sucking on them at a slow pace while never taking his brown eyes off yours. You can’t take the throb on your clit, so you rub your thighs together, but Yoongi pulls them apart once again.

“Lemme see this pussy.” He spreads your legs, and you gasp at how far apart they are, at how your pussy is on display just for him.

Yoongi licks his lip, as if a predator staring at his meal after starving for so long, “Wanna eat you out. Can I?”

“Fuck yes.” You moan, biting your lip, and Yoongi places a small slap on your clit.

You gasp, and Yoongi smiles smugly.

“Where’s the magic word, doll?”

You almost roll your eyes, but you are too fucking horny to take any more punishment and teasing from him.

“Please. Please eat me out, Yoongi.”

Yoongi lowers his head to your sex slowly, “Now that’s my good girl.”

Fuck. You could have folded right there.

“Can I take your shirt off first? Wanna see those tits,” Yoongi’s hand gropes at one of your breasts, and once you nod your head, he wastes no time in taking your top off and throwing it to the other side of your room.

Yoongi is quick to take one of your tits into his eager mouth, sucking harshly and letting his tongue flicker on your nipple. His other hand grabs your other breast, beginning to harshly knead it and squeeze it under his palm.

All you can do is whimper under his desperate touches, your body squirming in the sheer pleasure of having his touch on your sensitive nipples.

Yoongi takes his mouth out of your breast with a lewd pop, his hungry eyes looking deeply into yours as he whispers, “Always so sensitive for me.”

You bite your lips as he trails kisses down your skin, his tongue feeling up your skin, until he finally stops when he richest the end of your stomach. You inhale sharply, and Yoongi smirks before parting your legs as far as you can and taking a big stripe of your wet pussy.

You immediately shudder, a small moan slipping your slips, “Yoongi.”

Yoongi whispers a small “My good girl,” and you feel your stomach turning from the overwhelming butterflies that rapidly flutter their wings inside it.

Yoongi suddenly spits on your cunt, his saliva dripping on your pussy lips and onto your thighs. His tongue kitten licks all of your wetness, leaving you aching for more.

You know he’s only doing this to tease you, to break you, and if you weren’t so desperate for him, maybe you would have resisted longer.

“Stop f-fucking teasing.” You growl and grab a large piece of his black hair with your palm. Yoongi groans at the sharp pain, and you yelp once you feel a slap to your thighs.

“Patience, doll. You take what I give you, yeah?”

You clench your teeth and squint your eyes, only for you to break your character and moan once you feel his mouth suddenly sucking your throbbing clit.

“Oh—oh fuck.” You let out heavy breaths, your hand caressing Yoongi’s hair as your mind gets lost in the pleasure of Yoongi’s skilful tongue.

One thing you’ve learned about Yoongi is that he loves going down on you, no matter time or place. If you say you want him to eat you out, he’s doing it that fucking second and he won’t stop until you’re squirming helplessly under him.

Your whole pussy has never been exposed, and Yoongi thrusts his tongue into your hole while his fingers start to slowly run your swollen clit.

You can feel your orgasm coming, the stars are close and you’re ready to let go, but Yoongi suddenly pulls his tongue out, leaving you whimpering for his touch again.

“What—“

“Ass up, doll.” Yoongi is taken aback when you follow his instructions with no snarky remark, and you’re on all fours with your ass up like he asked.

His hands trace the curve of your ass, his pianist fingers kneading your skin as he watches you with fascination in his brown, eager eyes that are blinded by the almost suffocating lust for you.

“P-please—“

“Spread that pretty ass for me.” He orders with a sharp spank to your ass, which causes you to shut your eyes and bite your lip in pleasure.

You do what he asks and spread your legs, permitting him to see both your asshole and cunt clearly, and Yoongi bites his lips when he sees the wetness that stains your inner thighs. Yoongi takes off his sneakers and slowly gets in the bed, and you whine at the loss of his touch for such a long time.

You need him to fuel you with more of his addicting diesel.

“What’s got you so quiet, baby girl? Already too dumb to talk back, hm?” Yoongi chuckles, trailing your spine with his ring-filled fingers while calling you out for the lack of your usual brattiness and snarky remarks.

You groan in return as shivers course through your body. “F-Fuck you.”

“Ah, there she is,” Yoongi lets out a breathy chuckle, and you sigh on your pillow at his touch.

“C-Can you not be so rough today? I’m—I’m tired and I wanna get up tomorrow morning.”

If only he knew what kind of tired you really are.

Tired of having your heart stomped on every time you watch his indifferent eyes when he looks at you, tired of having a storm of emotions to a man who feels nothing but carnal desires for you.

Tired of painfully waiting for him to reach an endless deep sea of love instead of the shallow waters of lust whenever he looks at you.

Yoongi hums, trailing his wandering hand back to your butt and he places a small slap on one of your ass cheeks.

“You just wanna be my good girl tonight, then?” Yoongi almost coos at how cute you look when you slowly nod. “You mind if I play with your other hole a little, doll?”

You gasp at his question. No one you’ve ever slept with—which was not many people, anyway—had ever touched that part of your body, nor even came close to it. You never had the desire for it.

But being with Yoongi has made you discover and try many territories you never thought were possible, and how could you say no to him when he asks like that?

“Fuck. Okay. But go slow, or I’ll fucking kill you.”

Yoongi places a small, almost tender kiss on your spine before whispering, “Will do, baby.”

You could get used to these kinds of kisses.

His thumb goes up from your core ever so slowly, tracing the pathway to your asshole with care, and you mewl, digging your head into your pillow when his thumb starts playing with your rim, shivers coursing through every bit of your most sensitive nerves.

“You’re such a slut, aren’t you, doll? Letting me play with your pretty asshole. My little whore.” You mewl at his degrading words.

Never did you think you would enjoy hearing such words from anyone, but he makes it sound so hot when it comes out of his sweet lips.

“Where’s the lube, doll?” Yoongi whispers in your ear, and you let out a trembled sigh.

“It’s in the bathroom.”

Yoongi snorts, “Why’s the lube on the bathroom?”

You chuckle, “My roommate got fucked in the ass there. I had to hear all the details about it.” You roll your eyes at the memory. You couldn’t sleep that day because of your roommate’s screams inside the bathroom beside you.

Yoongi chuckles before slightly slapping your ass, “Be right back.”

Within seconds he’s back to his place from before rubbing the lube on two of his fingers.

“Fuck, you don’t know how obseesed I am with this ass, doll.” You almost scream when he slowly pushes two of his lubed up fingers inside your asshole with no warning, and Yoongi bites his lip to not let out a small moan as he sees you helplessly squirm underneath him. “Everything okay?”

You answer with a nod, and Yoongi hums, continuing the slow assault of his fingers inside your hole. You gasp at the calculated circles around your rim, and you moan into your pillow, “Yoongi.”

Yoongi smirks at his name as a form of a moan in your mouth, “Yes?”

“N-need….” You whimper your words out, your pussy burning with the almost unbearable need of his veiny fingers inside your cunt. For the release he neglected you moments before, “Need your fingers.”

Yoongi chuckles, placing a wet slap on your ass which causes you to gasp and lean your body forward at the sudden contact. You can feel your pussy dripping for him, the wetness staining your thighs.

All pent-up need for him.

“Hm, where do you want ‘em, doll? Gotta be specific.” Yoongi bites his lip, his fingers slowly thrusting on your asshole, and your hand is quick to travel to your lower region.

You spread your pussy lips apart, and Yoongi watches your motions like a hawk, his cock throbbing at the beautiful image of your fingers on your cunt.

His imagination runs wild once he starts thinking how pretty you would look while touching yourself and thinking of nothing else but him. Coming while whispering his name.

Yoongi bites his lip.

“Want ‘em here.”

Yoongi chuckles, his fingers leaving your asshole, “Do it for me, baby. Show me how you touch yourself.”

“What—”

“Come on, aren’t you a big girl? Let me see you touch yourself.” Yoongi slowly creeps his hand up to one of your ass cheeks, and you shiver under his touch.

Min Yoongi is a hazard to your existence, so much so that you’re already crumbling apart by his mere touch to your skin, and you know you won’t last long tonight, not like any other one of your encounters.

Tonight is different, and you’re terrified that your masked out vulnerability might fade away once and for all.

“Yoongi—”

The name of his lips is cut short when you feel his free hand grab your hair harshly, a gasp leaving your mouth at the pain mixed with pleasure that makes your clit pulsate.

“Do it.” Yoongi’s teeth grit, using the deep, raspy voice he knows leaves you weak on the knees, and shivers run from your scalp down every nerve in your body.

You will always be weak in Min Yoongi’s presence, won’t you?

Your hand slowly traces the skin of your stomach, trying to tease the man behind you as much as you can, and you can feel the deadly smirk on his pretty red lips, his cock twitching under his grey sweats.

Your fingers go to your clit, massaging the nub carefully enough to make you gasp on the fabric of your pillow.

You think of the man behind you, of his veiny, ring-filled fingers inside you, of his cock deliciously thrusting inside your pussy, reaching your cervix in the way he knows makes you fall apart.

Just for him.

You mewl, unsatisfied with your own fingers tracing your slit, but no imagination could ever compare to the real thing you want.

You need Yoongi.

His fingers inside you, him touching you in any way possible.

The fight inside you is gone as you fully submit to him, as you ache for him and his touch.

Yoongi can see your dissatisfaction as you continue to rub your clit fast, whines of desperation fleeing your mouth as you try to please yourself but can’t.

“Yoongi,” You whimper, and Yoongi almost closes his eyes from the sheer pleasure that travels down his body. “Your f-fingers. Need your, ah, fingers.”

“Too dumb to do it yourself, hm?” You nod while whining, your mind trapped in too much of a haze to talk back, to prove you aren’t another one of his dumb, fucked-out hookups who’d do anything he asks for.

You are too drunk in the pleasure of having him for yourself.

Too vulnerable to slip out of your daze as easily as you usually do, and you know Yoongi is claiming his victory with a wide smirk as he watches you fall apart before him.

Watches how broken you finally are for him.

“Yoongi.” His name is the only thing that can leave your mouth instead of moans and helpless whimpers.

You are dumb for him, aren’t you?

“You’re a dumb little cockslut, can’t even touch yourself properly,” Yoongi’s laugh is mocking, and you gasp loudly once two of his fingers start rubbing your nub in his expert way, the one which makes your whole body shiver in pure ecstasy. “You wanted this, doll? You wanted my fingers fucking that slutty cunt open?”

“Fuck, yes! Yes, Y-Yoongi.” You helplessly moan as his fingers scissor your pussy lips open for him to enter them inside you.

“Shit, babe, you’re soaking for me. I can fucking hear it.” Yoongi groans, precum staining his sweatpants as his cock twitches at the gushy, lewd sounds of your wet pussy.

His hand sparing no mercy for your cunt as he fingers you hard and fast. Your body shudders in pleasure, your mouth lets out pornographic moans when his thumb rubs your clit, and you clench around his slender, veiny fingers—your orgasm is coming.

And Yoongi knows.

“Does baby girl want to cum?” Yoongi bites his lip and continues his assault on your cunt, thrusting fast in and out of you, the cold metal of his rings hitting your warm walls, and all you can do is nod as you arch your back for him, drunk on his touch, his fingers, and everything that is him.

You’re too fucked out to answer, your toes already curling and your mouth fully open as you ache for the words of confirmation from his lips, which he happily grants.

“Cum for me, doll. You can do it.” Yoongi grunts out, and your mouth creeps up in a fucked out smile your abdomen clenches as your orgasm finally hits you, and you soak Yoongi’s already wet fingers with your cum.

Your mind escapes into a haze as your body unconsciously trembles from the oversensitivity as Yoongi slips his fingers to pinch your clit, testing to see how far you can take it.

“S-Sensitive.” You moan on the pillow, and once Yoongi takes his hand from your pussy, relief washes through your body.

Yet, you still long for them again.

“On your back for me.”

For some miracle, you hear his words under the fog in your mind, and your weak, already fucked out body slowly turns around, but Yoongi is an impatient man and doesn’t waste time by grabbing your waist and flipping you around himself.

Your tired eyes watch as he sucks the wetness on his fingers, moaning while tasting your release and you clench your thighs at the beautifully erotic scene before you.

Yoongi’s lips are suddenly on your jaw, kissing you gently, and you don’t even notice it until his deep voice speaks up during his kisses, “What’s up with you today, ___? You don’t usually end up this fucked out from just my fingers.”

“Told you,” You whine, gasping for any air your restricted lungs can catch, “I’m tired.”

Yoongi silently wonders what got you this tired.

You were always driving yourself crazy for your studies, and he could never understand why you would do it, but you would never get this exhausted. To the point where you completely fell apart for him after only his fingers. It usually took you some time until he could finally break you into his little cockslut.

“Still want to continue?” His tongue tenderly licks your skin as his hand rubs your tummy, a habit he picked up a few weeks ago, doing it after every time you were getting over your high.

And every single time he did it, your chest would find it hard to breathe from the fluttering feeling that crept up on your stomach that eventually found its way into your heart.

“I could just jerk off and call it a night. Whatever you want.”

“Whatever I want?” You let out a deep exhale of your breath, and Yoongi nods, placing the faintest butterfly kisses on your neck.

“Whatever you want.”

Your lips curve up in a lop-sided smile, “Fuck me, Yoongi.”

“Oh fuck.”

Yoongi is quick to pull his body off of yours, quickly taking off his sweats, his rock-hard cock springing out of the fabric, hitting his stomach and shirt in the process, and shit, you could have orgasmed again at that mere scene.

The chains on his neck stay, sticking to his slightly sweaty skin, and you feel your pussy throb and almost burn with aches at the sight.

Yoongi throws the grey sweatpants to the floor beside you, and you both flinch at the loud sound that erupts once it hits the floor.

“Oh shit, I forgot my phone was in there.”

“How can you forget that?” You can’t help but let out a snort, and Yoongi lightly laughs with you, your heart missing palpitations, stuttering at the sight of his gummy smile and relaxed shoulders.

Yoongi shrugs, “Too horny to care.”

You both laugh slightly and for a fleeting moment, you wonder if things could stay like this.

No outside world, only two people enjoying their time together, and the absence of the pain that shreds your soul of loving a man who will never love you back.

The laughter dies out, and instead, you find yourself at the loss of words as you mindlessly stare at Yoongi’s pretty cock. It stands proud before you, the tip stained with pre-cum, and pulsating from the pain of his erection, desperate for any stimulation that might lead to his release.

Yoongi’s big and he knows it.

He’s big, longer than the average dick, and he was cocky about it. When you first hooked up, you had to make him stop so you could adjust to the amazing yet slightly painful stretch his long, girthy cock gave you.

“You love my fat cock, don’t you, doll?” Yoongi says through a smirk, pride swelling on his chest as he watches you drool for him, your eyes wide, filled with fascination.

“Mhm,” You nod rapidly, your curious eyes watching his hands wrap around the slit, fingers brushing the vein that pops out of the skin, teasing himself for your hungry eyes.

“Where are the condoms?” Yoongi grunts, more pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock and falling onto your sheets.

“Second drawer.” You point to your only bedside table, and Yoongi is quick to manoeuvre his body to open the drawer and get a condom from the small package.

Yoongi examines the condom and smirks, “You got a large one. Were you expecting this, doll?”

You immediately gulp, turning your head to the side to avoid his piercing gaze, “No.” You click your tongue, “Bought them, like, last week ‘cause my roommate used up everything.”

“Ah, I see.” Yoongi bites his lips. He can see through your lies. He can clearly see the small twitch on your lips twitch whenever you try to lie to him.

Yoongi opens the packet with his teeth, his eyes never leaving yours, and your clit throbs at his action.

He twists the tip and slowly puts the condom on while biting his lips, and you can swear that you’ve never seen something so fucking hot. Every movement has you entranced, and your heart flickers at the picturesque image of him above you.

The moon gracefully shines on his beautiful figure, his face shimmering under the soft light, like an angel that graces you, a mere mortal, with his ethereal presence.

Yoongi finally leans in and presses a slow, sensual kiss on your neck, “You ready?”

You almost moan out loud at his words, “Fuck yes. Please.”

Without any more words, Yoongi pushes inside you, and you moan at the delicious stretch his big cock gives you.

Yoongi grunts, squeezing the pillow beside you, “Shit, always so fuckin’ tight. I-I don’t wanna be rough, doll, but fuck—“

You grab his hair and place a quick wet kiss on his pouty lips, “Be rough. ‘S okay.”

“You sure? You told me not to be rough. I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”

Your heart glitters, and you have to clear your throat to not let out a whimper at the warm, fuzzy feeling inside your stomach, “That was before you made me horny as fuck. Now fuck me, Yoongi.”

“Whatever you say,” Yoongi whispers on your lips before thrusting harshly inside you. You gasp loudly, your hand unconsciously grabbing his black hair, causing Yoongi to groan and his dick to twitch inside you from the pain.

Yoongi pulls back before thrusting his cock inside you again.

You arch your back and moan loudly; he spares no mercy to your pussy and starts thrusting with a fast, almost animalistic pace that leaves you moaning like the desperate whore you are.

“So stupid for my cock.” Yoongi laughs with a lazy smirk, and you mewl at his words, nodding as his chains dangle in front of your opened mouth. “You act all high and mighty, but you’re just another slut for me, huh? Just another dumb whore for me.”

You shake your head, trying your best to form any words to contradict his claims, but your throat only forms moans as he pounds his cock into you while holding your legs close to your stomach.

“Mmm,” You squeal when his finger runs your clit as he deliciously thrusts into you, and you swear you’ve never felt so fucking good. So full.

So his.

You're drunk in the sounds of his groans in your ear, mixed with the wet, lewd sounds of your skins slapping on each other.

You suddenly feel a hand harshly grabbing your chin, and you finally open your eyes, your lungs freeze at the sight of his hungry, dilated eyes as he traces your lips, admiring the slight drool that slips your mouth.

Yoongi wastes no time and brings you to a messy kiss, your tongues lazily touching each other, neither of you caring for the saliva on your chins.

“Want you to ride me doll.” Yoongi whispers in your mouth, and you gasp slightly, “Can you do that for me?”

“Okay,” You rapidly nod your head, and you whine when he suddenly slips out of you and rolls your bodies on the mattress so you’re on top.

“Shit, love this view.” Yoongi licks his lips, his eyes never leaving your breasts while all you can do is stare intensely at his lust-filled eyes.

You couldn’t help but gaze into his ethereal form, bathed under the moonlight’s shine.

He looks oh so beautiful, and all you could imagine is how it would feel to have his sparkling eyes looking directly at you.

Shining for you.

Only for you.

But before you can dwell more on his beauty, you feel hands delicately tracing lines of your waist, “You good, doll?”

You giggle silently, your heart beating faster with each passing moment, “Yeah ‘m fine. Can I ride you now?”

“Was just waiting for you, baby.” Yoongi chuckles at your eagerness and gasps when you suddenly grab his length, rubbing the tip against your folds, all while holding a lazy smirk on your face.

You slowly sink into his cock, moaning at the amazing stretch it gives you, and Yoongi hisses at how tight you feel at this angle.

“So big.” You bite your lips, slowly grinding your hips forward, your body shivering at how full you feel. You’re so sensitive, you almost moan loudly when Yoongi’s ring-filled hand touches your ass, squeezing it harshly under his palm.

“Go on, ride that dick, baby.” Yoongi rasps, slapping your ass before you start jumping up and down on his cock, the littlest ‘ah’s’ leaving your mouth as you chase your high.

Yoongi groans loudly, his eyes hypnotized by the way you ride his length, looking so fucking slutty with only your knee socks being the only thing that covers a part of your smooth skin.

The gushy sounds of your wet thighs slapping onto his skin send his brain into overdrive as he watches you bounce, your slick shining on the condom under the moonlight anytime you go up, only to go down again faster than before.

Lust consumes him as he watches your beautiful breasts bounce as you ride him with all your strength, and Yoongi’s dick twitches at the melodic sounds of your high-pitched moans.

“You’re my whore, aren’t you?” Yoongi thrusts his hips up, causing you to gasp and grip his stomach so your limp body stays in balance.

Yoongi harshly grabs your hair, his knuckles going white and forcing your face to tilt up to meet your eyes with his devilish ones.

“Fuckin’ say it.”

With the way he looks at you, he’s ready to incinerate your whole being, and you’re afraid you are already destroyed when the words slip out of your mouth, “‘M yo-your whore, Yoon–Yoongi! Only yours.”

Yoongi smirks as you scream, continuing the animalistic thrust of his hips, faster than ever before.

You swear you can’t breathe with all the pleasure that overwhelms every nerve, every sense of your body.

“You can only think about my cock, hm?” Yoongi sloppily licks his lips, his abdomen contracting every time your thrusts meet, “No one wants such a slut, huh? That’s why you only come to me, yeah?”

“N-No, I—” You moan, your eyes rolling to your skull as his cock finds your g-spot, and Yoongi grins. He knows he found it, you only go non-verbal once he reaches that special spot of yours.

“That’s my fucking slut.” Yoongi chuckles, his hips sloppily thrusting upwards while your hand goes down to rapidly rub your clit, “I’m gonna ruin this pussy for anyone else. Gonna only think of my fat cock and you wo-won’t even dare to fuck other men. Gonna ruin you, baby girl.”

“Yoon—ah,” You scream out, your mouth open as you feel your body close to falling into pure bliss, “C-cum—please, I need to—“

“Come all over this cock baby.” Yoongi moans out, and you stop your movements, your body shivering at the euphoria that is released through your body.

Your body turns limp, and you weakly fall forward, your scrunched face now close to Yoongi’s. You immediately whimper as you feel Yoongi continuing his thrusts into you, sparing no mercy to your abused and sensitive pussy as he chases his own high.

“Yoongi, s-sensitive—“

“Take it.” Yoongi harshly slaps your ass, and you mewl loudly at the sharp pain. Yoongi grabs your chin, forcing your pupils to catch his starving eyes, and you could swear you see a glimpse of the devil himself inside his captivating irises.

Your lungs stop as you realise.

You’re finally his, body and soul.

And a small tear escapes your left eye.

“Wa-wanna f-fuck you raw someday, d-doll,” Yoongi’s face scrunches as he groans the words out, “Wanna fill this pussy with my cum. Gonna make you walk around campus dripping with my-my cum so everyone knows how much o-of a slut the good girl is.”

You gasp loudly.

Did he mean it?

No—he couldn’t. That was just the lust talking, and Yoongi did tend to like dirty talking during sex.

That’s all it is. Right?

Your mind chooses to forget, and you’re cut off from your daze once you hear pretty moans slipping his lips as he rapidly fucks himself into you. “Ah, fuck, fuck—I’m g-gonna come so h-hard for you. W-where—”

“My mouth. Do it in my mouth.” You take his dick out of your pussy, and quickly take off the condom, throwing it somewhere across the room, before connecting your mouth to his leaking length.

“Fuck, d-doll, ‘m comi–ah!” A few bobs of your head, and he comes inside your mouth with a loud, pornographic groan.

You feel your pussy throb as you watch with hooded eyes, his head thrown back and his cherry-red lips parted as he entered a state of bliss. And fuck, what a sight for sore eyes he is.

“Show me your tongue,” Yoongi demands through his deep pants, and you do as requested, opening your mouth and showing your tongue full of his sticky cum.

You’re caught off-guard when Yoongi grabs your hair, pressing his lips onto yours in a lazy, open-mouthed kiss. You moan as your tongues exchange his come with each other, bits of his white release mix with your saliva and run down your chin.

Yoongi slowly removes his lips from yours, a trail of spit connecting both your lips and then breaking, dropping onto your naked chest.

“Swallow,” Yoongi instructs with a rasp in his voice, and shivers run through your spine as you do as he says.

You swallow all the cum that still rests in your mouth with no hesitation, and Yoongi groans at the sight, trying his hardest not to bust another nut right then and there. You scrunch your face at the salty taste on your throat and sit in the space beside him, the mattress jumping at your action.

“Shit, that was good.”

You suddenly feel his lips placing the softest peck on your lips, and tingles run through your body once you feel his hands gently rubbing your tummy.

“Water.” You slowly let out, your throat burning.

Yoongi is quick to get out of bed and comes back in an instant with cold water in his hands.

“Here you go, doll.” Yoongi helps you to sit up to place the glass on your lips, and you slowly gulp the cold water, almost sighing out loud at the relief you feel.

“Shit, I was too rough, I’m sorry.”

Yoongi sighs, his veiny hand rubbing his stomach as he stares at your white ceiling while all you can do is stare at him.

You are caught up in a beautiful image, your eyes mesmerised by how picturesque he is as if crafted by the delicate hands of the goddess of beauty herself.

You quickly shake your head, your heart skipping beats at his concern “‘S okay, I asked for it.”

“You sure you’re okay?” Yoongi asks, his eyes catch yours, and you shift your face to the sheets beneath you, your chest heating up from having been caught lovingly looking at Yoongi as if he were your…..boyfriend.

“Yeah. That was, uh, intense. To say the least.” You chuckle, and Yoongi snorts, returning his hand to your stomach to continue the soft rubs.

“Never did that snowballing shit with anyone. Did you think I went too far with that?”

Your eyebrows shift upwards, and your heart quickens its already rapid pace at his words—did Min Yoongi do a first with you? You were Min Yoongi’s first for something?

Your heart couldn’t help but jump.

Min Yoongi already had many of his firsts when it came to sex. The man was an expert, to say the least.

Having fucked so many girls, you thought he tried anything and everything with so many different people.

But no, he had a first with you.

“No, no. I liked it. It was very hot.” You smile lazily, and Yoongi sighs in relief, his eyes closing for a mere second.

“Okay, that’s good.” You place your water on your bedside table, and Yoongi lies beside you.

You stare at him again. He looks peaceful with his eyes closed.

It’s a tender scene. One you don’t get to have much whenever you are with him.

His breathing and body stay relaxed as he lets himself go for a mere second, and you could only wish the stars that spread through the night skies that you could live this moment again and again.

Until you have nothing left to dream about.

You’re scared of this feeling, of wanting to spend all your happy days with someone, of falling for the sweet nothings he never promised.

You can’t control him, you can’t force him to love you back, and that’s maybe what you fear most.

Because Min Yoongi is unpredictable. He’s wild. He’s a hazard to himself and your sanity.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Yoongi snorts, and you furrow your eyebrows as you’re cut off from your daze once his deep voice speaks up.

“Like what?” You laugh.

“I don’t know. It’s just weird. You’re fucking weird.” Yoongi lets out a chuckle, and you sigh in relief. The last thing you wanted was for him to find out about the gleam on your pupils, the way your eyes form hearts whenever you look at his beautiful face.

“Well, you fuck this weirdo.” You click your tongue and chuckle lightly.

And Yoongi smiles, “Yeah, I do.”

Maybe these moments were the ones where all your walls crumbled down into ashes, fading into the sky and leaving your heart vulnerable to the stabs of love.

The moments where you both stand like this—raw, naked, not caring for anything else in the world, how it makes you feel light. As if you could conquer the world.

Your hopes and dreams are no concern. Your failures and regret are thrown away by the calm sounds of his breathing that sweep away anything and everything that lets you down.

It’s these rare moments, the ones that are only glimpses in your painful field of vision of the world, are what the sonnets mean when you let yourself fall for another.

And in an ideal world, written in the book of your mind, these moments would last every minute, every day, every year, for the rest of your ideal life.

But in the real world, outside the proses of love, of the idealizations of the feeling everyone, so wishes for, what the dreamers never dare to think—is that these moments never last for more than a second before you’re back to bleeding in pain from loving the only one who destroys you in every way, and every day.

But maybe that’s just you. Maybe that’s what you get for choosing to love a disturbance, an instability on your otherwise still life.

Maybe that’s what love is.

Maybe that’s just what loving Yoongi is.

“I should go pee.” You whisper, secretly hoping this won’t end, that his touch will linger on your skin forevermore.

“Yeah, go do that.” Yoongi hums, tapping your thigh lightly, “Can I have a smoke by your window?”

“Sure. Just try not to make the room stink or you’ll take care of it.”

Yoongi chuckles while slowly getting up from the bed, “Will do, doll.”

You slowly walk to your bathroom, trying your hardest not to trip because of your wobbly, sore legs. You shouldn’t have let him be so rough with you, but you know that your horny mind couldn’t resist him or his fucking dick.

You’ll have to spend your Saturday trying your hardest to make the bruises fade away because you know that if Yuri sees you, questions will come, and you don’t think you’ll be able to lie so easily.

Who are you kidding? You won’t be able to lie at all, and you still don’t know how you and Yoongi haven’t been found out by her yet.

You look deep into your own eyes, and bile burns your throat. Is this really who you are? Fucking the man who has your friend’s heart?

Loving a man who will never be yours to claim?

You can’t look at yourself anymore, and so, you quickly turn off the sink and return to your room.

You grab your PJs from the floor, and while you put your clothes back on, you can’t help but stare at Yoongi, who stands by your window with a lit cigarette in between his fingers.

You slowly walk towards him, your heart beating miles per hour as you watch his face taking in the shine of the moon, revealing each detail of his striking features, and your soul glimmers at the mesmerising sight.

It feels serene.

Your heart is calm as you watch him, and your soul is at ease; there is no bleeding, no begging for him to see you.

“Stop staring and come here doll.” Yoongi takes a puff of his cigarette and slowly lets the smoke out into the air.

You slowly walk towards him, and you look down, realising he must have put his sweats back on while you were in the bathroom.

“Hm, this reminds me of cigarettes after sex.” You whisper, your eyes finding the full moon in the night sky while your lungs find it hard to breathe once you feel his lingering gaze on your body.

“You like their music?”

You sigh, “Yeah. Kinda. I don’t listen to them all the time, though.”

“Mmm, I like their song ‘Sweet’.”

You shift your head to the side and furrow your eyebrows, while Yoongi takes another puff from the cigarette, “You listen to them?”

Exhaling the smoke, Yoongi says, “Yeah, I listen to some of their songs. Shit’s good. Kinda catchy.”

Your lips part, “Wow.”

“Is it that shocking?”

You giggle, turning your head to watch the moon again, “Kinda, yeah. Sweet is a good song, though. You have good taste.”

“No shit.” Yoongi laughs and you smile slightly.

Being here, with Yoongi by your side during the whispers of the night, you’re okay.

You’re not plagued by the thoughts that he isn’t yours, you can’t feel the venom running in your veins, instead, gold shimmers inside your heart from the love, the sheer calm in your soul you feel when you are alone with him.

“Hold on, I gotta get my phone.” You quickly whisper before running to your bedside table, grabbing your phone and running back to the same spot you were standing on.

You turn on your camera and zoom in to get the best view of the shimmering moon while Yoongi watches your every action with amused and intrigued eyes.

“What are you doing?” Yoongi laughs, bringing the cigarette to his red lips as he watches you take hundreds of pictures of the moon.

“Taking pictures of the moon, duh.” You roll your eyes and Yoongi snorts, exhaling the smoke inside his mouth.

“You can’t even see it clearly with your shitty camera.”

“But it’s still pretty, isn’t it? Sometimes, pretty things can’t be seen so clearly, Yoongi. But that doesn’t mean it still isn’t beautiful.” You click your tongue, “I also like to take pictures of the moon so I can record the moment and relive it. Sometimes memories aren’t enough, y’know?”

Yoongi smirks, “So you wanna remember me, doll?”

You give him a side eye before continuing to take your pictures, “Nah, not really. It’s just that the moon is really pretty today.” You can only hope he doesn’t see how flushed you are, and that he can’t hear the heart that rapidly beats inside your chest.

Truth is, you don’t want to let this moment go.

You want to use the moon as evidence that tonight existed, that it wasn’t just another one of your daydreams where he isn’t even real.

“Want some?” Yoongi offers the lit cigarette between his fingers, and you shake your head, putting on a disgusting face.

“No thanks, they taste awful.”

You turn your head, your stomach almost dropping as you watch the beautifully hot scene of Yoongi taking another puff from his cigarette, the smoke blinding the moon for a mere second.

Why can’t he be yours?

You scratch your eyes as you suddenly yawn. “I’m tired. Are you….”

You want to ask him, the words are on the tip of your tongue, but you know he won’t stay even if you beg him to. You know the unspoken rule—Min Yoongi doesn’t stay the night with his hook-ups.

You remember, two weeks after you started sleeping with Yoongi, how a friend of Yuri’s from her cheerleading team, Hayun, while you were gossiping in the cafeteria, told you she slept with Yoongi, and when she asked him to stay for the night, he harshly declined and said he never slept with one-night stands.

Two days after, you can still vividly picture you asking him to stay, to test if what Hayun said was true, and maybe to prove something to your ego that you weren’t like the others, that maybe Yoongi felt something else for you.

Yet, he declined.

Looking at you with bored eyes, you can remember how he harshly said no to your offer. It was the first time you realised you were never going to be unique in his eyes.

And as you fell for him, thorns wrapped around your bleeding heart the more you wished for the impossible—to be seen as more, as something you know you aren’t meant to be.

“I was thinking of sleeping here. I’m too fuckin’ tired to go to my dorm, and Hobi is probably still fucking that girlfriend of his.”

Your heart glitters and skips a beat as the words leave his mouth, and you clear your throat, trying to stop the stutter in your voice, “Is that why you came here?”

Yoongi hums before crushing the cigarette in his hand and throwing it out the window, “Yeah, I guess.”

Your insides burn as you feel the newly-bloomed, thornless roses die a second after encountering their life.

“Can I? Sleep here, I mean. I’ll take the couch if you want.”

“No, that couch is too uncomfortable. You’ll wake up with horrible back pain, trust me.” You gulp, eyes falling to the ground, “Let’s just…..”

“Share the bed?”

“Yeah….If that’s too uncomfortable for you I can sleep on the couch instead—“

Yoongi slightly clenches his teeth, “Fuck no. Who do you think I am?”

“Mmm, an asshole?”

Yoongi laughs, “Fair enough. But I’m not that kind of asshole.”

“Sure you aren’t.” You chuckle, “I’ll get to bed, I’m fucking exhausted.” You scratch your reddish eyes, while taking slow steps toward your bed, “Can’t even walk properly anymore. You’ll fucking pay for this, Yoongi.”

Yoongi follows you to the other side of the bed, and he chuckles while getting under the covers, “As if you don’t love it.”

You’re finally in your bed, under your covers, and you mumble with closed eyes, “Whatever, asshole.”

Yoongi chuckles lightly before turning to you, and closing his eyes, letting his consciousness fade into the dream world.

And during the night, like magnets, your bodies slowly gravitate toward each other as your skins glisten under the moonlight that shines through your window.

And when his arms hold you through the night, the moon smiles.

You wake up with your mind in a daze, and the light that shines through your window blinds your tired eyes.

‘Fuck’, you curse, ‘I can’t believe I forgot to put down the curtain.’

You shift to your side, squeezing your eyes from the uncomfortable pain on your sensitive eyes, and you gasp lightly when you feel an arm pushing you back into a chest after your body squirms.

You immediately turn your head to find Min Yoongi beside you, his eyes closed as he calmly breathes on your neck.

“Mmm, morning,” Yoongi says with a low, husky morning voice, his eyes still closed.

And even in your tiredness, your heart flies a million miles per hour, your mind questioning whether or not you are stuck inside a beautiful dream.

“Hey.” You whisper, your throat singing slightly, while you try your best to not show how deeply affected you are by waking up next to the man who holds a part of your everything.

When Yoongi slowly opens his eyes, his entire body squirms as he hisses, “Shit, why is it so light.”

You gulp, “Forgot to put down the curtain. Sorry.”

“‘S okay.” Yoongi rubs his eyes, and you find yourself admiring how cute his morning self can be.

You begin to wonder what would be like waking up next to him every day of your life, but before you can drown yourself more in the painful possibilities of what could be, Yoongi cuts your thoughts by getting up from the bed.

“Where are you going?”

Yoongi groans, stretching his arms as he slowly walks toward your door, “Gotta pee. I’ll be back.”

As Yoongi goes to the bathroom, you grab your phone beside you and immediately curse once you see Yuri’s messages lingering on your screen.

Yuri : fuxk. ykongi isn’y here.

Yuri : i puy on this red dreess just for him :(/

Yuri : y won’t he fuckk me again?

Yuri : i didn’y rven fuck jimin tonight bc i wanted ykongi. I DIBT FUVK JIMIN!!!!!!!!!!

Yuri : y does ONE dick have me like this? i hate gthis.

Yuri : but i want him again 😭😭😭😭😭 and he didn’t even show up wtF

Yuri : bet ir’s that whore Yena’s fault. saw thenm together last week. ew.

Yuri : he fuxked that bitch but not me again? WTF.

Yuri : men r trash.

Yuri : i need ur advice. where r u? :(((((((((((

  You can’t think as you read your best friend’s drunk messages.

A storm consumes the peace of mind that harboured your body moments ago, the ugliest of emotions now washing all the serenity away.

  You : hey. are u ok?

Yuri : holy shit. hi. i was so drunk last night omfg.

You : i figured loll

Yuri : wanna hang out? i need to talk to u :(

You : are u gonna talk about yoongi? 😒

Yuri is typing…

Yuri : duh. i need ur advice 😭 this man is messing with my head.

You sigh—of course, she would want to meet up to talk to him and ask you about dating advice or how to get Yoongi to notice her. It’s all she has ever talked about these past few months, and you are fucking over it.

Hearing your best friend talk about the man you secretly love, and ask you for advice on how to get him for yourself is never pleasant. Especially when you know she’s much more likely to win his heart that you so seek.

With a groan and a heavy heart, you answer.

You : sure. wanna watch a movie?

Yuri : come to my dorm then? i’m gonna have a lazy day today lol.

You : ok. be there soon.

Yuri : all right xo

“Hey, doll, is your roommate here?” Yoongi suddenly asks, leaning on your doorframe, and you almost let your phone fall to your face at the surprise.

“Shit, uh, I dunno. She kind of always comes and goes. Why?” You ask while Yoongi crosses his arms, and you fight the urge to not drool at the sight of him with only his sweatpants on and jewellery still attached to his half-naked body.

“Heard a lot of moaning from the other room. Maybe she’s watching porn or something.”

You laugh out loud, throwing your head back at his comment, “She’s not watching porn, Yoongi, she’s having sex.”

“At nine in the morning?!”

You giggle and you can’t help but coo at his opened lips and widened eyes. “People have morning sex, Yoongi. And my roommate is a bit of a sex addict.”

“Who’s your roommate?”

“Haneul—“

“___!” You hear a high-pitched voice coming from the other side of your dorm, and you immediately freeze on your spot once you see your roommate.

“Where are the goddamn condoms?! I’m trying to fuck here—Min Yoongi?!” Your roommate’s eyes widen, and Yoongi smirks before lazily waving at your roommate.

“Do I know you?”

Your roommate scoffs, “No, But I know you.” Haneul scoffs, scrunching her face in disgust as she eyes Yoongi up and down, “What are you doing in ___’s room—wait, what the fuck?!”

Your roommate’s eyes widen as she turns her head to you, and you only gulp thickly, your hands starting to tremble once you realise the situation you have been caught in.

You know Haneul doesn’t like Yoongi, she has vebalized her distaste for him countless times within the past month, and whenever his name slipped Yuri’s lips, she was fast to roll her eyes and fake gag.

She told you how Yoongi once fucked one of her best friends, and left her hanging the very next day, not even bothering to answer any of the texts she sent weeks later, something he commonly did with his one-night stands, and how devastated it left her friend.

Since then, Haneul can’t even hear his name and she’s already rolling her eyes or scrunching her face in disgust.

It’s a bit hypocritical of her, really, since she’s done the same thing to the men and women she sleeps with, but who are you to call on her shit?

“Um, it’s—it’s not what it looks like!” You immediately blurt out, your hands starting to shake and your lungs constricting when you catch her widened eyes, a drop of cold sweat threatening to run through your forehead.

You look to Yoongi, desperation inside your pupils when you stare into his calm eyes, praying that he understands you want him to lie for you, tell Haneul anything that denies her obvious suspicion that you two have slept together.

“Yeah. We had a project together and I accidentally slept in. As if I would ever do her.” Yoongi rolls his eyes.

Oh.

Your heart dies a little at his words.

You can’t stop the thoughts that take over your mind. Is it really what he thinks?

Deep down, you know it’s true—you and him aren’t a match, it was never even supposed to happen in the first place.

But the universe is harsh, promising a cursed future for your heart, destined to seek its destruction within a love not reciprocated. Cursed to deteriorate within the empty kisses of lust your soul thought to be the love you started to feel.

He’s everything, he’s the centre of everyone’s attention, he’s the moon every poet praises, and you’re nothing but the rain.

The one that everyone dreads.

“She’s too good of a person to ever sleep with you.” Haneul snarls, a look of disgust plastered on her face, and Yoongi’s lips twitch—you know he wants to smirk. To tease you and tell her he’s the one you meet after hours when you text her you’re doing a late shift at the coffee shop you work at, or that you’re staying late in the library to study.

“Whatever. I’m leaving, anyway.” Yoongi huffs, turning to grab his shirt from the ground, and then he turns to you, “Text me the final results, K?”

Yoongi gets out of your room, bumping his shoulder with Haneul, and she only scoffs, throwing daggers at his back as he walks to your dorm’s exit.

“What a fucking prick.” Haneul rolls her eyes, “It must be hell working with that bastard. Anyway, where are the condoms again?”

You point to your bedside table, “Second drawer.”

Haneul immediately opens the drawer, and gets a packet, examining it, “Hm, the dick isn’t this large but it’ll do. Thanks, babe!” You laugh, throwing your head back, and your roommate runs toward her room where her dick appointment—as she calls them—awaits on her bed.

You feel your phone vibrate on your hand, and your heart squeezes once you see the name plastered on your screen. You forgot about your encounter with Yuri.

  Yuri : bitch where tf are you????

You : sorryyy, i got caught up on some studies from my last lecture.

Yuri : jesus you don’t have a life.

You : 😒

Yuri : whatever. if you don’t hurry up i’ll choose the movie alone…..

You : oh hell no!!!!

You : be there in ten

Yuri : that’s what i thought

You roll your eyes and put on a baggy grey sweater and the Radiohead shirt you stole from your older brother before grabbing your flip-flops and heading out of your room.

You know you don’t look flattering in the slightest, and if you went out in the wild, people would look at you with the most disgusted and judging faces, but Yuri’s apartment is not even two minutes from yours.

You pass through your roommate’s room, and immediately scrunch your face at the loud moans and loud squeak of the bed.

You’re grateful that your bed doesn’t squeak like Haneul’s, or else you’d be screwed.

You’re finally out of your apartment, and once you reach Yuri’s, you knock only once and she’s already opening the door for you.

“Bitch, I need your help.” You stare at Yuri—she’s just like you, with her hair a mess and baggy clothes, yet, there’s a difference.

She still looks amazing, and well, you look like a fucking witch.

Oh, how unfair is life, huh?

Yuri grabs your arm and leads you to her mini sofa, and your stomach twists as it awaits for his name to come out of her lips, the name you were chanting like a mantra at the devilish hours of last night.

“I need your help with Yoongi,” Yuri whines as she bounces on the couch, and you sit beside her, a sigh leaving your lips as you groan loudly.

“I know, I know. But, fuck, this crush on him might be getting deeper.” Your eyes shift to the ground as she continues, “Jimin asked to fuck me again, and I said no because I was waiting for Yoongi to appear. I said no to Jimin, ___!”

Jimin and Yuri had been in a ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement for many months now. You knew Jimin wanted something more, but Yuri’s eyes only shifted toward Yoongi, and he accepted it because if having sex was the only way to have Yuri, then he would gladly do it, even if his heart shattered in the process.

You remember when he told you this, you thought he was a fool, an idiot—who in their right mind would let themselves be hurt just to be close to the one who harms them?

“There are plenty of other fish in the sea”, you told him then.

“But she’s the only one I want.” He replied while sighing.

Oh, how you wish you didn’t understand Jimin today—how you wish you didn’t find stars in Yoongi’s eyes, ones that cursed you to find solace in them, when they didn’t even shine for you.

“I’m absolutely fucked. Why does one dick have me like this?” Yuri groans, grabbing her hair in frustration.

You ignore the burn in your throat, and try to give her the advice you usually would—you were always good with giving other people advice, even when you yourself didn’t really follow them.

“You gotta stop thinking about him too much. He’s a fucking asshole, dude. He’s probably out there fucking another girl right now, and you’re here whining because of him. You’re better than him, Yuri.”

You absolutely want to throw up as the words spill out of your mouth, you are no better than the the devil. How did you reach this point of fucking your best friend’s crush?

“Ugh,” She groans, passing her hands through her smooth black hair, “I kind of…..texted him yesterday, asking him to meet me at the locker room, and he didn’t answer yet. I bet it’s that bitch Yena’s fault. I should have kicked her off the team when I had the chance. She can’t even do a backflip properly.” Yuri scoffs, and your blood runs cold at her words.

So much information for your little, fragile heart, that aches at her words as you imagine Yoongi placing the hands that were on your skin mere hours ago, on another, better woman’s body.

“Can we just, like, watch the film and not talk about Yoongi? I-I don’t even know the dude and I already hate him.” You scoff, crossing your arms against your chest, and Yuri sighs, resting her head on your shoulder as she starts browsing Netflix’s catalogue.

“Fuck, sorry, I’m talking way too much about him,” Yuri sighs once more, “But what about you? Don’t you think Namjoon would be a good guy for you?”

Yuri lifts her eyebrows twice suggestively, and you roll your eyes, “You only want me and him to work out so you can get closer to Yoongi.”

“That may be partially true, but you and him make such a good couple! You both are nerds and love to study and y’know, you guys just match!” Yuri lightly hits your shoulder and you can’t help but scoff at her words.

Namjoon is an attractive guy, and maybe if you weren’t so caught up with the forbidden fruit that is Yoongi, you would see him in a different light—but you can’t, not when only one pair of brown, majestically beautiful eyes are the only thing in your mind.

“I don’t like him that way, Yuri, so just drop it, alright?”

Yuri groans, “All right, whatever. What movie do you wanna watch, anyway?”

“Scream?”

“Fuck yes.”

“Ugh, why are the options always fucking junk food?” Yuri groans as you both put your trays on top of the wooden table, and you can’t help but giggle at your best friend’s frustration.

“You could’ve gotten just the salad on the other side of the cafeteria.”

Yuri rolls her eyes as Yuri takes a harsh bite out of her mozzarella pizza, “Please stop making sense right now and let me put my anger on this uni’s horrible food options.”

You giggle, taking the softest bite out of your hotdog, “Jeez, what’s got your panties in a twist?

“Please, never say that again.” Yuri scrunches her face and you snicker, taking another bite of your hotdog as you wait for your best friend to stop her dramatic sigh before she talks again. “I saw that bitch Yena all over Yoongi today.”

Yuri scoffs, and you almost choke on your hotdog when the sentence slips out of your best friend’s mouth, “She’s such a fucking slut. She was basically flashing her tits to him, thank fuck he wasn’t even paying attention.”

The smallest sense of relief washes over your body when she tells you Yoongi wasn’t paying attention, and the smallest part of your heart hopes he wasn’t paying attention because his eyes were only set on you, but you knew that to be false.

You would never be the first he would ever really see, even if you so wish for it when the clock strikes midnight and tears threaten to fall down from your eyes as you remember his careless whispers.

“Aren’t you being a lil’ too harsh? It’s not like you don’t do the same thing….” You mumble through your food, and Yuri looks at you with widened betrayed eyes.

“You’re supposed to be agreeing with me, not being the voice of reason. God, you can be so fucking annoying at times.” Yuri rolls her eyes, and you sink into your seat.

Yuri was a good friend, she truly was.

You’ve been friends ever since you both met in your freshman year of high school, but you can always forget just how mean she can be when she doesn’t get her way or hears exactly what she doesn’t want to.

And you still can’t understand how you don’t fight back.

You know you’ve got the sassy comeback on your lips, you know how to shut her up in a second, and if it were anybody else, you’d spit it out with no hesitation.

And yet, you stand here, with your stomach burning in shame as you sink into your seat while silently eating your hot dog.

“Holy shit, Namjoon’s here!”

Your eyes widen as Yuri smirks, “Wait, Yuri, no—”

“Namjoon!” Yuri calls out, waving her arm with a smile on her face, and Namjoon visibly flinches, almost dropping his tray on the floor. He looks at your table with wide eyes, and you hide your face in your palms, groaning loudly at your best friend’s actions.

“Oh, hey ___, hey Yuri.” Namjoon flashes his smile, cute dimples appearing on each of his cheeks, and if your heart wasn’t so caught up in the forbidden fruit that is his friend Min Yoongi, you know your heart would have faintly flickered at his cuteness.

Yuri licks her lip, flashing her best fake smile to the man before you, the one that was enough to make so many men weak on their knees. “Doesn’t ___ look so pretty today?”

Your face heats up at her words, and you hesitantly look up to see Namjoon smiling at you, you could only wish it was his gummy smile in front of you.

“Yeah. You look cute, ____. Is that a new shirt?”

You slowly nod your head, a small smile tugging on your lips, “Yeah, actually. I bought it from—”

“So, Namjoon, do you know where Yoongi is?” Yuri flutters her eyes, ever so slowly tracing her nails on the man’s hand, and you internally roll her eyes. Yuri’s oldest trick in the book, and somehow, it works on every single guy.

Namjoon's cheeks turn into a faint pink, “U-um, I don’t know, I-I texted him today and—”

“Namjoon!” A deep voice calls Namjoon from the other side of the cafeteria, and your heart stops as you realise it’s just the man whom your heart bleeds for every day of your life.

Min Yoongi.

You watch with the heaviest heart as Yuri’s eyes glisten when the basketball captain comes into her field of vision, and bile threatens to burn your throat as you realise you aren’t the only one to feel so moved for the man.

“Oh hey, Yuri.” Yoongi greets your best friend and bites his lip once he turns to you—you know it’s tortuous for him to hold back his teasing whenever he sees you, but you glare at him, silently threatening him.

“Hey—”

“Oh, Yoongi! I don’t think you know her yet, but this is my best friend, ____.” Yuri giggles, and Yoongi smirks, putting his hands in the pocket of his jeans.

“Oh, I know who she is.” Yoongi licks his lips, “Hey, ____.”

You visibly gulp the lump that suddenly formed in your throat as he stares at you with those tempting cat-like eyes, and you feel the world stopping, your lungs failing to let any more oxygen in as you stare at each other for the fewest milliseconds before your best friend is talking again with her high-pitched voice.

“Oh, you do?” Yuri turns her head innocently, and you want to laugh at just how fake she can be. You always thought she should’ve been an actress with her amazing skills. “Well, that doesn’t matter. Do you guys wanna eat with us?”

“Um, I don’t think Yoon—“

“Yeah, sure,” Yoongi says, immediately cutting Namjoon off, who looks at Yoongi with widened eyes.

Namjoon slowly pulled a chair next to you as Yoongi got the chair next to Yuri, who silently squealed at his action.

Namjoon furrows his eyebrows as he stares at Yoongi in front of him.

He knows his best friend like the palm of his hand, and he knows Yoongi would rather be caught dead than be with anyone at this time of the day. The basketball player has no patience for anyone before his meal, and even worse before he has his first coffee of the day.

For fuck’s sake, the player had just shoved Yena off mere moments ago, and she’s notorious for being one of the campus’ hottest girls, with huge tits Namjoon would give up the world to be able to suck.

Yet, now he’s here, willingly sitting beside Yuri, his hottest yet most annoying hookup, before eating his lunch.

Namjoon waits for the scowl from his best friend’s lips, but all he does is bite it as he sits beside Yuri.

As Namjoon stares at his best friend and Yuri who stands before him with the sparkliest eyes Namjoon’s ever seen, something clicks inside the man.

A lightbulb. An epiphany.

Namjoon’s jaw drops to the floor.

Yoongi fucking likes Yuri.

Yoongi leans on his chair, crossing his arms on his chest as he stares at the woman in front of him, you and your heart beat so fast, that you could swear your vision almost starts to fall as you stare at the man before you.

“So, Yoongi, how’s practice going for you? Do you think you’ll win on Friday?”

Yoongi scoffs lightly, a familiar cocky smirk resting on his lips as he turns his head to Yuri, and a venomous feeling courses through your veins.

You can’t help but wonder what passes through his mind when he stares at her. Does he think she’s beautiful?

More beautiful than you?

You know that’s what everyone thinks, and not even you can deny it—Yuri is ethereal, the most angelic features adorning her face, and you know you could never compare to that.

“Of course, we’ll win. My team is the fuckin’ best.”

Yuri giggles, slowly placing her slim, almost angelic hands on top of Yoongi’s arm, “Of course you will! I’m training my girls to put on the best dance for your victory on Friday.”

You expect Yoongi to stutter, to fall like putty to Yuri’s touch, and yet, he easily withdraws his arm from her angelic hand.

Yuri visibly frowns at that, and you see the faintest glimpse of rage from her eyes before it’s back to the sparkles of admiration as she stares at the basketball player beside her.

You silently sigh as you take another bite of your hotdog.

You will always be invisible next to Yuri, won’t you?

Are you so cursed, that the man you so love, that your heart cries for every night, prefers your mesmerizing best friend over you?

You love Yuri, you truly do, but you could only wish that for once in your life, she wasn’t the one to be picked. That you’d for once be visible in the eyes you so want, but you know she’s the only one he will seek.

It’s always been like that. A cruel fate that is written by destiny itself.

It has happened so many times before.

Your crush from high school asked her out for prom and you stood there, watching the scene as your heart broke for the first time.

It happened too with your first lab partner whom you developed the smallest crush on during freshman year of college, who asked Yuri out on a date while at the same party where you decided to confess your slight feelings for him.

And the last time it happened was with your gym crush.

You thought this time, he wouldn’t fall into Yuri's clutches, since she didn’t go to the same gym as you—but what are the chances that she suddenly decides to join you for one of your workouts?

And the minute Yuri’s stepped into the gym, you saw your gym crush’s eyes fall on her, and it didn’t take long until he asked for her number, and the following week, she told you every detail about how thoroughly he fucked her, and she explained how she dumped him because he wasn’t Yoongi.

The worst part is, she knew you liked them all.

And you know Yoongi will fall for her charm. He will slip out of your hands so easily, all that will remain are the memories of him that will be as distant as mercury is to neptune.

Forced to watch destiny engrave their names together on the moon while you burn like the sun that is your love for the man that will never be yours.

You’re so caught up in your own little world, you almost jump once you feel your phone vibrating on your pocket, and your heart jumps from your chest once you read the name lingering on your screen.

Your cheeks heat up, and your eyes shift to Yoongi in front of you, who gives you the tiniest glance while his luscious lips form the devilish smirk you will never admit arouses you.

You quickly turn your head to Yuri, your fast heart pulsating on your ears as adrenaline rushes through your system, and the slightest relief washes through you when you realise she’s talking about herself to Yoongi, who doesn’t even pay attention to her hand on his arm, but instead, the phone on his hand under the wooden table.

Your eyes widen while your breath hitches at his lewd words—how could he have the courage to send such a thing when your best friend is beside him, trying her best siren-like tricks to seduce him.

“Hey, Yoongi. Are you listening?”

Yoongi turns his head up to your best friend, and his face is so cold and indifferent, it sends shivers through your spine.

“Sure.”

“Who are you texting?” Yuri asks with her best innocent voice, and Yoongi immediately shuts his phone off when your friend tries to get a peek of his screen. “Is it……Is it Yena?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Yuri’s face immediately falls, and your eyes widen at his sharpness.

It’s been some time since you’ve seen this part of him, you almost forgot just how much his words could cut anyone’s heart like a knife while his eyes held no remorse for it.

You’re an awful liar, aren’t you?

Of course you need him, but not in the ways he thinks—your heart needs him so your river can flow, so your moon can shine on your body, so your nerves can find the only calmness it needs, and that only happens when you’re next to him.

You sigh, and send another message, asking him to stop it, and he only texts back with a cold ‘K’.

You put your phone back in your back pocket, and when you shift your head, your eyes unexpectedly catch Yoongi’s brown ones, that hold a glint of mischief behind tem, and you know he wants to tease you, to whisper in your ear the many positions he will take you in, to make you flushed with his words for everyone to see.

But he knows he can’t, and when he shifts his eyes to your best friend beside him, your soul screams for him again, for his attention on you, because you know briefness is the only thing you, the invisible one, will ever get from him.

“I gotta go to my next lecture. See you, Joon.”

Namjoon awkwardly waves to Yoongi as he takes a big bite of his pizza, his mind wondering why his best friend had acted so strange, so unlike him.

Namjoon knows Yoongi never liked Yuri—he always complained how that girl couldn’t hop off his dick for the life of her, and how she’s the least favourite of his many hookups. And yet, now he willingly sits next to her?

Yoongi is known to not care for his hookups—he doesn’t even like talking to them unless he’s at a party or just horny.

Namjoon doesn’t blame his friend—Yuri, although incredibly annoying, is a beautiful, fucking hot woman.

“Uh, I’ll be going too. It was great seeing you two.” Namjoon gives you two his friendliest smile, and you wave goodbye as he steps up from his chair and leaves your table, leaving you and a fuming Yuri alone.

‘Oh fuck.’ You gulp when seeing your best friend’s eye twitch.

“He was totally texting that slut Yena.” Yuri clenches her teeth, and suddenly it’s hard for you to breathe while your heart picks up its pace once again.

You feel like a traitor in the court of friendship, a clandestine lover of the very person who had captured your heart, knowing he will squeeze its life out every minute that passes by while you love him so.

You knew how much your best friend liked him, how much she pined for him, and yet, you still chose to forbiddenly develop a storm of emotions for the same man that never chose to look you in the eye before that night.

And you became the secret villain in the story you never intended to write, the monster that fell for the same man your best friend held sparkly eyes for.

Your stomach burns with the guilt that swallows you whole as you stare into oblivion while Yuri shamelessly tears Yena apart, and you can’t help but wonder what she would do to you if she ever found out what you and Yoongi did after hours.

With a sigh, you swallow the tear of shame that threatens to slip out of your guilt-filled eyes.

“I don’t even understand what he sees in her. Besides her boobs, she’s just an ugly whore desperate for attention. I am so much better than her and he doesn’t even pay attention to me.” Yuri scoffs, crossing her arms against her chest as she lets all her anger out while you stand there absentminded.

“Are you even listening?!” Yuri growls, scoffing once more when she sees you flinch.

“Shit, sorry, I kinda dissociated there.” You chuckle nervously, and Yuri hums.

“Were you thinking of Namjoon?” Yuri smirks, and you roll your eyes.

“No, I was thinking of all the assignments I have due. You gotta stop trying to make me and Namjoon work dude, we’re both not interested.”

Yuri rolls her eyes and fake gags, “Lord, you’re so fucking boring. You need a dick to take that stick out of your ass.”

“I’m not interested, thanks.”

Yuri rolls her eyes, and before she can say any thing else, a voice cuts her off by calling her name.

“Yuri!”

Yuri slaps her face while groaning, and you turn your head to find a blue-haired man walking toward your table.

Park Jimin.

You snicker at Yuri’s state, and her groans get louder as Jimin gets closer to your table.

“Hey, Yuri.” Jimin smiles while taking the seat Yoongi was in before, and Yuri rolls her eyes.

“Jimin, if you wanna fuck, I can’t right now. Go ask Mina, or something.” Yuri grumbles while looking at her red nails, and your eyes fill with pity was you watch Jimin’s mouth turn into the slightest frown.

“I don’t wanna fuck, Yuri. Can’t I just come here and talk to you?” Jimin sighs, and looks at your before waving, “Oh, hey, ____. Sorry, I didn’t see you.”

You chuckle, crossing your arms against your chest, “Hey, Jimin. No worries.”

Jimin turns his head to Yuri, the oh so familiar shimmer inside his eyes as he stares at your best friend, “You look fucking beautiful—”

“Whatever. I have some boring math lecture now, so I gotta go. You wanna watch my training later?”

You shake your head with a sigh, and Jimin’s eyes shift to the ground, “Can’t, I have a shift at the cafe tonight.”

“Ugh, fine.” Yuri rolls her eyes and grabs her tray before stepping out of her seat, “Say hi to Taehyung for me.”

You chuckle lightly, “Sure. See you.”

“Bye, bitch.”

As you watch Yuri walk away, you sigh heavily, your heart heavier than a rock, guilt tightening its grip on your chest as you stare at your food.

“I’m so fucking pathetic.” Jimin groans into his palms, and you watch him with a clenching heart.

“You gotta give up, man. She’s not gonna change fo you.” You purse your lips, your stomach turning at the advice that comes out of your mouth, and Jimin sighs.

“I can’t, dammit.” Jimin slams his hand on the table, and you flinch, guilt eating you alive as your mind screams how much of a hypocrite you are.

“Why do you even love her so much?”

Jimin chuckles before letting out a deep breath, “I don’t fucking know.”

“Well, if you truly don’t know, then….”

Jimin gulps while looking at the ground.

You know the look in his eyes from a mile away—shame.

“Gotta go. It was nice seeing you, ____. See you later.”

You smile tightly while waving slightly, “See you, Jimin.”

As Jimin walks away, your fingers go to your throbbing temple.

Until when are you going to sustain the weight of guilt before you crumble?

“What’s up with you today?” Taehyung asks in a rushed whisper, and you hum while pressing the button on the machine.

“What do you mean?” You ask, never taking your eyes off the cup as it fills with coffee, and Taehyung sighs. You were always a tough one to crack.

“I literally saw you put whipped cream on an Iced Americano. You are clearly not okay. What the hell happened?”

“It’s none of your business, Taehyung.” You roll your eyes, and Taehyung scoffs, but he’s not taken aback by your rudeness, no, it only fuels the curiosity inside him.

You and Taehyung worked together in the cafe right beside your campus and he was a great colleague. Attentive, fun to be around, a little too bubbly for your liking at times, but nothing you couldn’t tolerate.

But Taehyung was always a curious guy, and although it could be funny at times to know some gossip during your working hours, it was never fun whenever he mingled in your business.

“Tsk,” Taehyung clicks his tongue, “Something’s going on, and I will find out, ____.”

“Whatever.” You roll your eyes, grabbing no lactose milk beside you, and praying Taehyung would leave you alone.

“Wanna hear some gossip to cheer you up?” Taehyung smirks, and you sigh while nodding your head—if this was going to let him get away from you, then, of course, you would hear a silly little gossip you would later forget.

“Y’know Min Yoongi?”

Your heart suddenly stops at the name that slips from Taehyung’s lips.

“Yeah. Who doesn’t?” You snort, and Taehyung chuckles.

“True. Anyway, there’s a rumour he’s fucking someone from the cheer squad. Just thought I’d let you know, cause, well…..your friend, Yuri…..”

Everyone on campus knows about Yuri’s obsessive crush on Yoongi.

She made sure to remind each girl she saw him hooking up with that he was hers. Rumours about the crazy head cheerleader spread like wildfire at the beginning of your sophomore year after Yuri ‘accidentally’ tripped a girl over in the hallway and hissed a loud ‘slut’ while doing so.

The girl later overheard you scolding Yuri for doing that to the innocent girl because she saw her and Yoongi having sex in his car after cheerleading practice, and she spread to everyone just how crazy Yuri is.

You never saw the girl again, rumours say she transferred to another university.

You gulp thickly, a burn suddenly forming on your throat, but before you can even answer, another one of your co-workers, Eunchae, rapidly speaks up, “Who’s fucking who? I smelled gossip from a mile away.”

You roll your eyes, both your co-workers are suckers for gossip, and you sometimes question your own sanity whenever you are near them.

Taehyung chuckles, “Oh, just a rumour that Yoongi’s fucking someone from the cheerleading squad.”

Eunchae chuckles, “Ah, Min Yoongi. Best dick I’ve ever had.”

Your eyes widen, and Taehyung’s mouth drops before he talks again, “What the fuck, he got you too?”

“It was, like, many, many months ago. That man fucked me so good I accidentally said ‘I love you’ while orgasming.”

Taehyung makes a dramatic gag expression, “Ew. TMI, Eunchae. That’s my friend you’re talking about.”

Ah yes, Taehyung is a basketball player on the college’s team, one that Min Yoongi is the captain of, and is part of the same friend group as Yoongi.

When you first started working in this little cafe months ago and you saw Taehyung for the first time, you internally groaned, thinking he would be a cocky shit like some of his teammates, but he surprised you by being an annoying cinnamon roll you learned to like.

You still can’t understand how he and Yoongi are even in the same friend group. You know they aren’t super close, not like Taehyung is with Jungkook, or Yoongi is with Hoseok and Namjoon, but they are still friends.

How could Taehyung, the sweet yet irritating man, even be in the same space as the cocky asshole that is Min Yoongi?

“You said I love you to him?” You laugh a little too loud, and Eunchae sighs heavily.

“Yeah. Haven’t talked to him since. I sometimes miss his dick, though.” Eunchae sighs once more, entering a daydream state, and Taehyung scoffs while crossing his arms against his chest.

“I don’t get it. He fucks literally everyone and has every girl after him. Like, what the fuck am I doing wrong?” Taehyung cutely pouts, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes—Kim Taehyung is a fun man to be around sometimes, but holy fuck, can he get on your nerves.

“Ugh. Taehyung, Stop acting like you get no bitches when I literally saw you fucking that girl at that party last week.” You hiss—you’re sick and tired of Kim Taehyung acting like he doesn’t get any women when the man looks like a fallen angel. You’ve heard so many people talking about how they had a crush on him, and yet here he is, acting like he doesn’t fuck a new girl every other week.

However, unlike Min Yoongi, Taehyung is known to be sweet to his hookups, and you still can’t understand how no one hasn’t fallen in love with him yet.

“Yeah, and she asked me if Yoongi was single after we had sex. She had all of this,” Taehyung points at his body, more specifically his dick, and both you and Eunchae scrunch your faces in repulsion, “And still had the nerve to ask about Yoongi.”

“Oh shit. What did you do?” Eunchae asks with a lifted eyebrow and Taehyung gulps.

His eyes shift to the floor, and he mutters, “I gave her his number.”

“You did what?!” Eunchae shouts while you sigh disappointingly, passing your palms through your face, and Taehyung pouts.

“I just—What should I have done? Tell her to go fuck herself after we literally just fucked?!”

Eunchae scoffs, “Duh, that’s what I’d do.”

“And she’d probably spread to everyone what an ‘asshole’ I am. I gotta keep my clean reputation, y’know?”

Eunchae snorts, and you can’t help the small giggle you let out, “What reputation?”

“You’re being mean, ____.”

“And you were dumb as fuck, Tae.” You shrug, and Taehyung whines.

“Whatever,” He huffs, “I still don’t get how every single woman is down bad for him. Your friend Yuri, the whole cheerleading squad, and every single woman I kiss talks about him. At this point ___ is the only one he hasn’t fucked.”

You almost let the coffee in your hands spill on your uniform, and you clear your throat.

Oh, if only Taehyung knew.

“And how do you know that?”

Taehyung scoffs, looking at you as if what you asked was the most absurd thing in the world, “You’re not his type.”

Eunchae squints her eyes, “And what is his type?”

Taehyung sighs, “Confident, annoying, kinda bratty, big ass, hot as fuck, maybe even a little slutty. Basically the opposite of our precious ____ here. And you’re just too good to fuck an asshole like yoongi.”

‘Why does everyone keep saying that?’ Your eyebrows scrunch, and your heart falls to your stomach at his words.

“I’d say your friend Yuri is the perfect example of his type. She’s fuckin’ hot—“

“Yeah, yeah, I get it.” You grumble, angrily putting your coffee on the counter, and Taehyung furrows his eyebrows in confusion while Eunchae mentally slaps her forehead.

You turn your head to your friends, your eyes starting to sting more with every second that passes, “Uh, I gotta go to the bathroom. Be right back.”

You quickly head to the bathroom, and you completely fall apart once the door closes. Your hand covers your mouth, hoping to muffle your small whimpers.

Your tears were a silent confession to the pain that had become your constant companion. You shouldn’t be like this, crying over a man that isn’t even close to being yours.

You know you aren’t his type, that people like you aren’t supposed to be with him—it’s against the law of nature, of the way life is written by destiny.

Taehyung is right—you aren’t his type. You are not Yuri; you were not even second to her beauty, you were the third, fourth, fifth, the one to hide behind the scenes as people like Yoongi and Yuri shined on stage.

That truth was a dagger, piercing through your soul with every heartbeat.

Yoongi doesn’t love you, his world doesn’t pulsate for you, his heart doesn’t flicker for your quirks.

You feel your phone buzz inside your pocket, and you grab it, only for your heart to sink even more when you see the name displayed on your screen.

‘Speaking of the devil himself,’ you think to yourself.

Yoongi 👎 : hey doll

Yoongi 👎 : what r u doing rn?

You sniffle, typing fast while drops of your silent tears stain your phone’s screen.

You : i’m at work

You : but i think i’ll be leaving early.

Yoongi 👎 is typing…..

Yoongi : everything ok?

You smile, your erratic nerves calming down as you wipe the drops of salty water on your cheeks.

You : i’m just not feeling too well

Yoongi 👎 : :(

You : why’d u ask?

Yoongi 👎 is typing…..

Yoongi 👎 : i’m bored as fuck. hobi and i were practising for friday but he left me here alone bc of some emergency with his gf.

Yoongi 👎 : i swear that woman is taking him away from me.

Yoongi 👎 : u wanna come here?

Your heart stops.

You shouldn’t go.

You know you should decline for the sake of your fragile heart that will only fall into the black hole even more, cutting its chances from ever getting saved from a love that is doomed to fail.

But landfill has filled your days, loneliness plaguing every minute that passes, every second of your day, and you only have Yoongi you can count on to make you feel better.

To make you numb.

Make you forget the pain and the blood that chokes you every other hour.

Pathetic, isn’t it?

How the man who is at fault for the knife to your chest, who doesn’t care for you, is the only one you can count on to make you calm and forget.

With a tight pull on your chest, you answer.

You : i’m just not feeling too well

Yoongi 👎 : :(

You : why’d u ask?

Yoongi 👎 is typing…..

Yoongi 👎 : i’m bored as fuck. hobi and i were practising for friday but he left me here alone bc of some emergency with his gf.

Yoongi 👎 : i swear that woman is taking him away from me.

Yoongi 👎 : u wanna come here?

You wipe the rest of the water on your cheeks with a paper towel, and you slowly get out of your bathroom before stopping in your tracks once you hear your name.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung.” Eunchae scowls while whispering, and Taehyung sighs, never taking his eyes off the ground.

“I know. Fuck, I shouldn’t have said that.”

Eunchae scoffs, “No shit. You know she’s sensitive—“

You clear your throat, and silence suddenly surrounds you. “I’m getting out earlier, I have an emergency meeting with my professor about th–the exam last week.” You gulp, trying hard to maintain your calm so your voice doesn’t break, “Can you guys tell manager Kim that?”

“Sure….” Taehyung says with a whisper, squirming under the awkward atmosphere, “He likes you a lot, so he’ll, uh, he’ll understand.”

You smile weakly, avoiding any of their stares on you, “Thanks. I’ll, um, go now. See you guys tomorrow.”

You leave your apron on the counter and grab your bag from the other side, and soon, you’re out of the coffee shop with a lonely tear falling down your cheek.

You’re inside the campus in no time, since the coffee shop is so near it, and it takes a good ten minutes until you’re inside the familiar sports centre.

You already know the path to the basketball court from having to watch many times as Yuri and her cheerleaders practised for the next season so you could head to one of your dorms after it.

You hear loud noises of a ball hitting the ground echoing through the stadium as you walk inside it, and you immediately find Yoongi in his casual gym clothes as he skillfully dribbles his ball through the court.

He’s sweaty.

His skin glows under the yellow lights, and his black hair sticks to his skin, and you swear you’ve never seen something so beautiful.

The way he runs through the ground, his eyes focused on every move is captivating, and anyone can see the passion that radiates through him as he runs.

Yoongi is much more than people put him to be—a mere asshole with no feelings.

You’ll admit that you thought that too, until you got to know how passionate, how driven he is to his craft. How he’s sometimes just a simple man with a love for basketball and cat videos on instagram.

When he throws the ball into the net with no effort and your heart swells with a sense of pride, you realise just how deep you are.

You start clapping your hands and Yoongi’s eyes immediately find you across from him. He immediately smiles through his pants, forgetting about the ball that runs away to the other side of the court.

“Hey, doll.” Yoongi bites his lip, and you stop your clapping to put your bag on the floor in front of the bleachers.

“I’ll be honest, you’re fucking good.” You say, now walking to where Yoongi stands, and he laughs, lazily placing his hand on his hips.

“I’m literally shit at all sports.” You snort, reminiscing the days in high school when you were always picked last on the teams during PE for being the weakest player. You cannot blame the people at the time, you were really shit at anything sports related—your strengths always relied on academics.

“Don’t say that.” Yoongi frowns, and you giggle, grabbing the nearest orange ball lost on the ground.

“Yoongi, I was literally always the one to be picked last on the PE groups.” You laugh at the memory, and Yoongi joins you, picturing a younger you inside his mind.

“Can’t relate. I was always the captain.”

“I figured.” You smile, and try throwing the ball to the net, clumsily jumping, and you almost fall down at your awkward foot movement, and to make your situation worse, the ball goes to the left. It wasn’t even close to hitting the net.

“Damn. I underestimated you. You really are shit at this.”

You pout, “I know. I wasn’t made for sports.”

“Come on, grab that ball, I’ll teach you.”

Your mouth opens slightly as you gasp dramatically, “Oh my God, the Min Yoongi will teach me to throw a ball?!”

Yoongi rolls his eyes, a small, almost invisible, amused smile tugging on his red lips, “Just go grab the damn ball.”

You run toward the orange ball with a smile on your face, your now calm heart fluttering more every second you spend with the man behind you.

You come back, and Yoongi starts, crossing his arms against his chest, “Alright. Turn around.”

You do as he says, and a small gasp leaves your lips once you feel his chest on your back and his crotch on your butt.

You purse your lips, trying to contain the small moan from coming out of your mouth when you feel the faintest butterfly kisses on your neck as his hands grab your arms. “You’re too tense, doll. Relax for me.”

You struggle to do as he says as your mind races with his touch on your skin, goosebumps trailing every part of your body, “You see that white box over there? You gotta aim for it, so your ball hits on it and goes through the net.”

“Okay,” You whisper, your voice cracking as your nerves grow erratic as he continues his tender touches. Does he know what he does to your poor, already weak heart?

“Alright, get your arm high like this.” Yoongi grabs your arms to make them stand straight, and places a small kiss to your ear before whispering again, “Now, when you throw, you’re gonna bend your wrist back, like this.”

Yoongi briefly shows you the movement, and you nod, biting your lips as your eyes shift to the net, “Okay. Now try it.”

“But—”

“It’s okay if you don’t get it right. Just try it.”

You sigh heavily before angling your body to a better position. You focus on the white square and do everything Yoongi said, and when the ball enters the net with ease, your mouth drops and your hand slaps your mouth as you watch the ball bounce back to the ground.

“Holy shit!”

You turn around, eyes widened as you stare at a smiling Yoongi, “You just made a three pointer. I’m impressed.”

“Oh my God, Yoongi!” You giggle, “Thank you so much, holy fuck—”

Yoongi takes your hand from your mouth, and before you know it, his lips are pressed on yours in a slow, sensual kiss. Your breath falters as his tongue lazily finds yours, and a trail of saliva connects your lips once he slowly pulls out, panting slightly.

“I’m proud, doll. You killed that.”

You instantly turn hot, and your heart skips many beats as you drown yourself into the brown eyes you adore, “I had a good teacher.”

Yoongi’s lips turn into a small smile, and if you didn’t already know the intention behind his irises, you would think you saw a sparkle inside them.

“Mmm, I’m gonna go back to my dorm. You want a ride to yours?”

You know this is his way of inviting you to have sex in his car.

You had no actual plans of doing it with him tonight—your heart still aches from the guilt of back-stabbing Yuri and Taehyung’s words making you realise for good that Yoongi would never be yours.

But he’s too tempting, and after Taehyung’s sharp words from before, all you need is the bandage only Yoongi’s lips can put on your wounds, even if he breaks your soul even further.

‘Just tonight.’, you think to yourself.

One more night, and you would call off this ‘arrangement’ of yours. For real this time.

“Yeah.” You whisper, and Yoongi gives you his devilish smirk.

“I’ll go change real quick. Unless you wanna come with?” He raises one eyebrow, and you nod your head, sealing your fate to fall apart by his hands.

You follow him to the men’s washroom, and when you reach the door, you stop in your tracks, “Um, are you sure there’s no one there?”

Yoongi chuckles, “Yeah. Every other player got off, like, two hours ago. It’s just me and you.”

You gulp at his last sentence, a feeling of anticipation filling your nerves while your insides turn into a train wreck at the thought of being alone with him again.

You both enter the empty locker room, but before you can comprehend, your back is pushed into the red lockers, and you squint in pain at the harsh contact.

“Fucking hell, Yoongi!” You groan, you always had a bit of a back problem ever since you were a teenager.

Yoongi’s eyes widen, and he’s quick to pull your back from the locker, and starts to rub his hands on your back as you hiss at the slight pain that still lingers.

“Shit, babe, I forgot about your back.” You open your eyes and you stare at Yoongi’s apologetic look as he continues his majestic rubs on your back, and you sigh at the relief you instantly feel—his touch always had a magical effect on you.

“It’s okay, but goddamn, never do that again.”

Yoongi chuckles, “Noted.” You feel his enchanting lips on your neck, slowly nibbling on your flesh, and you sigh, closing your eyes as you surrender yourself to the bliss that is having Yoongi’s touch on your skin.

The feeling of being his is addicting, and all you wish were to scream to the world that he is yours, that the melodies of his heart sing for you as he holds you like lovers do.

Min Yoongi is a drug that leaves so many women on campus addicted, and you’re just another one that has given in to his temptation, just another name in the books of women that tried his poison and never wanted to let go.

And you’re closer to overdosing than you might think.

“How about I make it up to you by eating that pretty pussy, hm?”

Your eyes widen, a small gasp leaves your lips while Yoongi caresses your waist with his hand as he continues his assault on your neck, going against his wishes and leaving no marks like you always ask.

“Are you insane?” You hiss when he softly bites your neck, and you grab his black hair as he turns his nibbles into butterfly kisses on your sensitive skin, “What if someone comes in?”

“Mmm, no one will, doll. But what’s life without a little thrill, hm?”

“Ugh, fine.” You give in—how could you ever resist him and his cherry lips?

“Sit on that bench, take everything off down there and open your legs for me,” He whispers on your ear, and you quickly do what he says,

You take your pants and panties before opening your legs with reluctance, your body shivering at the cold air that hits your bare pussy, and you can’t help but squirm once you meet Yoongi's familiar dark eyes.

He slowly walks to you, and you bite your chapped lips as you watch him get on his knees in front of you.

You could swear your orgasm almost hit you once you watched the scene, your body falling into an illusion of him submitting to you for once.

Yoongi lifts his head up, his dark, mysterious eyes boring into your naked soul, and you could only wish for your feelings to slip out of your mouth, and in the perfect world inside your head, he would tell you he feels the same.

His eyes fall back down, and he hungrily licks his lips as he stares at your already dripping pussy. Your clit throbs under his gaze, and you groan, your body shuddering under the overwhelming need to have his pretty tongue inside you.

“Goddamn it, do something, Yoongi.” You hiss, and Yoongi only chuckles, his hand connecting with your trembling thighs, thumb caressing your sensitive skin while you whimper at his mere touch.

“Beg like a good girl, and I’ll do whatever you want.” Yoongi places the smallest kiss on your left thigh, teasing your desperate body to see just how needy you are. Testing the limits of your want for him.

You roll your eyes, but you are too fucking desperate to spit fire, so you follow his demand, “Please, Yoongi. Please, I need your mouth.”

“Mmmm, good fucking girl.” Yoongi smirks and squeezes your thigh before licking a big stripe of your slit, and your body trembles at the feeling. Fuck, his mouth was always out of this world.

You shift your head to look down on him, and you moan so loud you can hear it echoing through the room when you catch a glimpse at his eyes closed in bliss as his skillful tongue kitten licks your dripping slit.

His tongue takes another big stripe at your slit and then runs through your folds with such expertise, you close your eyes in pleasure as your hand runs over Yoongi’s luscious black hair. You pull it with all your force when he thrusts his devilish tongue inside you and his thumb slowly rubs your sensitive clit.

His tongue thrusts in and out in a rapid pace, leaving you breathless as you moan desperately, your eyes shutting as your mind gets lost in the pleasure, not even caring that anyone could walk in and find you so exposed with the one and only Min Yoongi eating you out so amazingly.

You throw your head back once you hear the deep, raspy groans from the back of Yoongi’s throat. Nothing is hotter than to hear him get pleasure from doing such a thing as eating you out.

The first time Yoongi ate you out, he was the one who suggested after you gave him the suck of his life.

At first, you were hesitant about it, the few guys you’ve been with didn’t enjoy it. They either refused to do it, or gave such a bad oral that you asked them to stop torturing you with their tongue.

You thought he would be the same, but never would it cross your mind that Min Yoongi not only eats your pussy like there is no tomorrow, but gets pleasure from it.

“You’re so fucking soft.” Yoongi squeezes your thighs, and your eyebrows scrunch at his words, but before you can even question his words, Yoongi takes a big suck on your pulsating clit, and your head rolls back, your body trembling as you feel your climax oh so close.

“You’re my little slut, hm?” Yoongi slaps your clit, and you let out a shaky gasp at the minor pain, “Letting me eat this pretty pussy where anyone can walk in and see just how good of a whore you are for me.”

“Yoongi,” You gasp once you feel two of his veiny fingers thrusting inside your leaking cunt mercilessly.

You watch as he thrusts his fingers in and out of your pussy, squelching sounds filling the room, and Yoongi’s eyes stay transfixed on his fingers, as if he were hypnotised by the way your walls take his pianist fingers.

“Ugh,” You moan echoes through the room, “R-Right there, ah—so good, Y-Yoon.”

Yoongi groans against your clit like a man starved, his fingers scissoring your pussy apart so they can get inside you again, and he curves his fingers the way he knows you love, and it has you trembling against him.

You drown in the pleasure that Yoongi gives you, and your chest heaves with the pressure that builds upon you while Yoongi’s tongue works magic against your swollen clit.

Yoongi’s hands suddenly push your legs apart even further before his pouty lips lick your slit with fervour, and thrusts his long tongue inside your cunt once more, sending your mind to another world of pure pleasure.

“You look so fucking gorgeous like this. Spread out like a good little slut who just wants to be eaten.” Yoongi chuckles, lapping at your pussy before pressing his devilish tongue on your clit, and your body shudders, your climax so close.

“I-I’m gonna—”

“Cum on my tongue, slut.” With a last loud moan, your eyes roll to the back of your skull as your thighs tremble while Yoongi laps up every bit of the sticky orgasm inside you.

“Fuck, you taste so good. I could eat you out for days, doll.” You shiver in oversensitivity as Yoongi continues to eat all your leftover cum, his mouth becoming stained with the sticky substance.

You pant, your mind turning foggy as your body turns weak, and Yoongi immediately sits beside your limp body, and his hands gently wrap around your weak frame, “You did so good for me, doll.” He whispers, his hand caressing your hair, and you hum dreamily, your mind so foggy, you choose to fall to the most comforting illusion that he is yours.

“You doing okay?” Yoongi asks with a soft voice, and you feel your heart flickering at his words.

You only whine in return, your mind too gone and your body too weak for you to form any coherent words, and you could swear Yoongi silently coos at you, but the good part of your mind knows it’s only your shredded heart choosing to fall to the illusion that he loves you too.

“Mmm, stomach rubs.” You absentmindedly say, and Yoongi chuckles.

“Whatever you want.” Yoongi whispers, following your command, his pianist travelling inside your shirt so he can start rubbing your stomach the way you’ve grown to love.

Your heart swells with the warmth of his affection and your mind slips into the most beautiful paradise. ​​His fingers move with a delicate grace, as though he’a composing a love song on the canvas of your skin.

The moment is serene as you both stand in silence, no words as you hearts beat in synchrony.

Amidst the gentle, rhythmic motion of his hand on your stomach, even if you know that he didn’t feel the same, you feel cherished by the one man your heart blooms flowers for.

“Feeling better?”

You nod your head,your mind finally clearing the fog of pleasure up, “Mhm, ‘m fine now.”

“I shouldn’t be so rough with you. I’m sorry.” Yoongi sighs while you take your head off his chest, a chuckle leaving your mouth at his words.

“You literally say that every time.”

“And I’m sorry every time.” Yoongi takes his clean hand out of your stomach, and you mentally whine at the loss of his healing touch, “You just tasted too fucking good.”

“Mmm, I guess you could say I just have a million dollar pussy.” You shrug, and Yoongi throws his head back while laughing, his beautiful gummy smile appearing.

His laughter was always a symphony of joy, notes that danced upon the air like graceful butterflies.

“That was so random.” Yoongi giggles, and you can’t help your little laugh.

“Come on, admit it, I have a million dollar pussy.”

You smirk, and Yoongi laughs again while nodding his head, “Sure you do. Got me addicted and shit.”

You smile and nudge his shoulder with your hand, “Ay, I knew it! No one would believe me if I said I got the Min Yoongi pussy addicted.”

“Oh, shut up.” Yoongi rolls his eyes, and you laugh mischievously. “I’ll change real quick, then we’ll head out, K?”

“Yes, captain.” You make a sign with two of your fingers on your forehead and Yoongi scoffs lightly.

“You’re so fucking annoying.”

“Sure, sure.” You giggle while Yoongi starts changing his gym clothes to his casual ones, black sweatpants and his signature white tee.

You stare at him in awe, scanning his beautiful body up and down until you spot the large tent on his sweatpants, the smallest stain lingering on the fabric.

“What are you gonna do about that?” Yoongi looks at you with furrowed eyebrows, and he follows where your finger points to, a small chuckle leaving his mouth when he realises you’re talking about the big tent on his pants.

“Shit. I dunno.”

You bite your lower lip, “Want me to suck you off?”

rest is continued on the reblogs of this post !! you can access it here 💗 tumblr is annoying with this 1k blocks thing, so i had to cut it off :")

[funkycatbruh]

Girl Of His Dreams (04)

Pairing: Fuckboi! Jungkook x Reader

Au: Strangers to Lovers au

Genre: Angst, fluff, smut (eventually)

Rating: 18+

Word count: 9.5K

Summary: You think Jungkook is the utter definition of beauty. Jungkook thinks you’re cute but just not his type. Throw a magic ring into the equation, that makes you look like the girl of his dreams and you have the perfect recipe for heartbreak and tears.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Patreon | Playlist (coming soon)

The coffee has gone cold.

Not that you're aware of it though. All you have been doing for the past fifteen minutes is to stare intently into the cup and sighing occassionally. A few baristas have looked at you with worry and sympathy but again that's also something you remain oblivious to. 

You don't know what to do; a thought you have found yourself thinking quite often in the recent days. Why, for the love of god, do emotions have to be so damn complicated? Why can't they be simple and allow you to live peacefully? Why must you always feel the exact opposite of what you want to feel? 

The sole reason you put up with the idea of the ring is because you wanted to feel accepted, loved, seen and appreciated without having to go out of your way to prove to people that you are deserving of it. You did not consider the possibility of people talking about Jungkook taking an interest in you. It had slipped your mind that the ring is only going to fool Jungkook, not the other hundreds of people you will walk past on a regular basis. 

You could almost hear what they were saying. Her? Of all people her? Has he run out of girls? Maybe Jungkook wants to try something different. 

The whispers and not so subtle looks were too much for you to sit there and go through your class. Hence, you did what your panic filled mind asked you to; you left. Some might call it running away from your problems but you never claimed to be courageous enough to face your challenges with a firm grip. 

On your way to the cafe, while ordering your cup of coffee, while mindlessly staring at the liquid, you have been entertaining a question repeatedly; should you just remove the ring? 

It sounds simple. Then you can go back to your little hole and never worry about the things that you're worrying about now. It would be comfortable because you know what it feels like. This, however, is extremely unknown to you. 

The only thing that is stopping you from removing the ring right at this very moment is the image you had built in your mind as to what putting the ring to use would be like. What if you let go of things too soon? What if being patient is the key and you could have your one month of living like the person you have always wanted to be? 

Your thoughts are put to a halt by someone pulling the chair right across you. You look up and are fairly surprised when you find that person to be Brie. 

"What are you doing here?" The question leaves your mouth without a second thought. 

"I don't know myself," she shrugs. 

You frown and check the time on your watch which only confirms what you already knew. "Isn't a class going on right now?"

She hums, "That it is." 

You quirk a brow at her suspiciously, wanting to know the exact reason why she's here and not in the class, she so obviously had intended to attend. 

Brie squints at you for the look you're giving her but then complies. "I was looking for you, cause I was worried."

Oh. 

Well that's sweet. 

But, "how did you find out where I was?" 

"Bitch, you have your snapchat location on, which conveniently makes it easier for anyone on your friend list to find out where you're."

Ah right, snapchat location. 

You sigh and get a little comfortable in your seat, knowing that the whole blank staring thing isn't gonna work anymore. 

Brie only waits till she places the order for a cappuccino. Then she angles her body towards you in such a way that lets you know, for the next few moments you will be on the receiving end of all her attention. 

"So," she begins, "what is going on?" 

A lot. You want to just let all of it out and get it off your chest. Having someone who knows about everything that you're going through is honestly a blessing. But you resist yourself from spilling everything out, remembering that she too is someone who most likely finds that Jungkook showing interest in you is simply absurd. You remember the way she looked at you on discovering that you and Jungkook were going on a date. Although you do not fault her for having that reaction, admittedly her being a friend of yours, makes it a little bit disheartening to think that she too views you that way. 

"I honestly don't know what's going on either," you chuckle, the sound coming out empty and sad. "All I know is that I'm the one to be blamed for it."

She frowns at how tired you look. She's not quite sure what's going on but by the looks of it, something's troubling you and whatever it is, you're apparently blaming yourself for it. "You shouldn't say things like that. We all mess up, doesn't mean you have to point fingers at yourself."

You cannot not point fingers at yourself though. You were the one who went ahead with the ring–

Right. You still need to figure out whether you want to continue wearing the ring. Quickly figuring out that even though you might not be up for spilling every single detail to her, you can still take her insight on what you should do. That'd be the best. It would help you stop running in circles. 

"Brie, what would you do if you were to learn that love potions exist? Would you use them?"

Brie looks at you funny, wondering why you would ask a question about fictional things out of the blue. Nevertheless, she's not one to overthink things, if asked a question, she is definitely going to give an honest answer. 

"I'd definitely use them," she nods, very sure of her words. 

"You would?" Your eyes widen, mildly surprised at how quick her answer was. 

"Yeah, I definitely would. On Henry Cavill," a bashful, dreamy smile appears on her face as she gets lost in the world of her dreams. "He can be my personal superman."

Ah, that way. 

"No, no, no," you shake your head. "I mean would you use them on real life people?"

Brie looks disappointed for a split second for having to come out of the world where she's happily married to Henry Cavill. "What do you think Henry Cavill is?"

"No, but like real people. People you know in real life."

Brie wants to argue that she knows of Henry in real life and not from some animated world but keeps it to herself when she realises that for some reason you're really eager to hear her opinions and answers. 

"If it's about people I know personally, I think it would depend on the who and the why."

"Elaborate," you prod without missing a beat. 

"Nah, you elaborate on what scenario you want me to consider–", it's then that her coffee arrives. Thanking the barista, she takes a sip from her cup before continuing, "–technically there are an infinite number of scenarios I could consider for this hypothetical situation."

"What if you want to use the love potion on someone because you think that will make you feel better? Would you actually end up doing it?" 

"In what ways is it supposed to make you feel better? Like an unrequited love–"

"Better about yourself," you cut her off, finding your anxiousness getting the better of you. "Someone giving you that amount of love and affection would make you feel good about yourself. That is why you want to use the love potion."

"Hmm," a thoughtful look appears on Brie's face. "Validation you mean?"

Validation. Is that what you want? You just for once want to feel like you're worthy of the things you have always wanted. Is that validation? 

You're not quite sure. 

"Let's call it that for the time being," you suggest, now taking a sip from your coffee. You grimace when the liquid meets your tongue, finding the temperature just odd. It's neither warm nor cold. It tastes like water. 

"In that case–" she leans forward and rests her palms on the table "–no, I won't use the love potion."

You slouch in relief when you hear her words, finally having an answer. 

You had expected yourself to feel disappointed if the answer were to be in the negative. But surprisingly, you're not. It feels right. Maybe somehow you have always known that this isn't the right thing to do and have only wanted someone to confirm it. 

"But that doesn't mean, someone else won't do it," Brie comments after a little pause. 

Your relaxation disappears slightly. You had thought that was it, that no is the answer. However, now that she seems to be continuing from where she left, you once again are on edge. 

"What do you mean?"

She takes a deep breath, "I have done that thing where you look for validation from other people and I know I wouldn't do that ever again. But that doesn't mean someone else wouldn't."

"Everyone at some point or the other, has seeked validation. Now how they seek validation can vary vastly but that doesn't mean they're in the wrong, it only makes them human."

"You're confusing me," you say with confusion written all over your face. 

"Let me put it this way, if I were to read a story about someone using love potion to feel better about themselves, I'd most likely feel sympathy. Can you imagine how lonely and desperate they might have been, to do that?" 

For some unknown reason, those words cause a spark of something to ignite inside you. "What about the consequences? What about the fact that they would be using a person, fooling a person all for the sake of feeling better about themselves? Isn't that incredibly selfish?" 

"Woah, woah, woah," she looks taken aback and then chuckles softly at how riled up you look about this. "Why do you hate this character so much that you simply can't stand the idea of them using love potion?" 

Brie asks the question jokingly, not really meaning it but it hits you for some reason. Why do you hate this character so much? Why do you hate yourself so much? 

"Listen," she begins after another sip of her coffee, "my stance is simple, using love potion on someone is selfish but it's only the lack of love that makes us selfish." 

"I'm not condoning the use of love potion but I wouldn't hate a character for doing it, I'd probably only hope that they realise they didn't need to use it to feel better about themselves."

"Plus, who knows, maybe using the love potion is what would make them realise later in the story that someone else cannot make them feel good about themselves."

You could scream.

For so long you have been feeling this constant sense of guilt and shame for doing something so low. You have only run away from acknowledging it so that you can keep wearing the ring. Maybe all you needed was someone to shame you even further and scream at you for how selfish you are, for you to snap and admit to yourself how shameless and selfish you actually are. You wanted someone to tell you the things you have already been thinking and feeling about yourself for you to return the ring. 

However, you were not expecting compassion. You were not expecting words that are said with you in consideration. Her words were not spoken out of judgement rather out of understanding and sympathy.

You don't miss Brie's words about how one must be incredibly lonely and desperate. Desperate, you are. But lonely? 

If someone were to ask you even a minute ago, you'd say you're not. You're happy with the two-three friends you have. However, Brie's words seem to have thrown light to a part of you that's always been in the dark. Now, you feel as if someone's pointed out something that's always been there but you are only ever noticing it now. 

It makes you feel an overwhelming sense of emotion that makes you want to cry because you feel seen but at the same time confused. 

You close your eyes briefly to calm yourself down and will yourself not to let the tears out.

Nodding, you let go of the breath you were holding. "Thank you for indulging in this weird topic of conversation with me," you mean what you say, you might be still just as indecisive but you appreciate it so much that she was this willing to answer your weird set of questions. 

"You're welcome, it was fun," she replies. "But now if we are done with that, care to share what had you so stressed that you had to leave the class like that?"

The question has your insides twisting. But for some reason, you do not find yourself hesitating as much as before. Maybe it's the previous conversation that has opened you up enough to tell her why exactly you ran. 

"I didn't like how everyone was looking at me and whispering amongst themselves," you fixate your eyes on the table surface and refuse to look up. "I know they were talking about the picture and that just made me extremely uncomfortable."

"That makes sense," Brie muses, understanding that people repeatedly glancing at you and whispering while they are at it, cannot be a very nice feeling. "Although, it's none of their business, I can understand why they might be curious. Because you see, you and Jungkook are quite a surprise."  

You close your eyes when you hear her words. You really could do without the confirmation of what you already know. 

"I mean Jungkook is such a piece of shit and then you're, you."

Uhhhhhhhh. 

Did you hear that right? 

"What is that supposed to mean?" 

For a brief moment, it's almost as if Brie is surprised that you don't already know what she means. But then she entertains the thought that maybe you don't know Jungkook that well. Or maybe, you're viewing him through rose coloured glasses. Afterall, she doesn't know how deep you're in, for him.

"Jungkook is…shallow," she speaks after a few moments of trying to find the right words. "But you're, you. You're quite the opposite, you feel deeply. You take things seriously while Jungkook is very fickle minded. Simply put, you deserve someone better than him."

You feel perplexed. There is no other way to put it. 

Could that be the reason why she looked at you the way she did upon finding out that you were going on a date with Jungkook? Because she believes that you deserve better? 

But then how come she even believes that you are worthy of the better? 

Gosh, all of this is too hard to believe. 

You have half a mind to ask her how she can be so sure that Jungkook is shallow. Is she duducing it simply from the fact that he's a bit of a player? But then you decide otherwise knowing you don't want to make things even more confusing for yourself. Plus, Brie isn't someone who bad mouths or passes opinions about people for the sake of it. If she's saying something about Jungkook there must be some reason behind it. What is it, you're not quite sure you want to know. 

For a very brief moment you think back to your first date and how Jungkook didn't think it was disrespectful towards you that the waitress left her number with a note like that. Even if he did, he didn't say anything. 

Pushing the thought aside, you focus back on the present. "I honestly don't know him that well."

Brie's question about how far the both of you are, into the whole dating thing is answered. "That's fine, I just hope you don't learn about his shallowness the hard way. Stay a bit wary of him and don't trust him too soon."

You know Brie's words are well meant. She genuinely seems worried about it and it somehow warms your heart. "I'll try to keep your words in mind." 

She nods and smiles at you in approval. The silence that falls upon the both of you, urges you to get done with something you know you should have done much sooner. 

"I'm sorry, by the way," not beating around the bush, you speak in a sincere tone. You notice the way Brie looks confused at your apology and clarify, "I should not have snapped at you last day–", Brie's confused look only deepens, "–when you were asking me about the date with Jungkook."

Brie's look of confusion finally disappears but she waves off your words with a flick of her hand. "That's nothing worth apologising for. You looked stressed, I should have taken the hint."

"Still, that was wrong of me, I do owe you an apology."

"Apology accepted," she huffs at your words and shoots you a thumbs up. "Now are we attending the next class or do we need some more sad girl hours?"

Your lips lift up involuntarily and even though you're not sure if you're ready to go to class just yet, you feel like you have some support. It makes you feel like you'll be fine even if you were to get weird looks from people. 

"Let's go," you suggest. You take a look at your watch and your eyes widen when you notice the time. "We only have ten minutes till the next class begins."

She isn't bothered, as she leans further into her chair. "That means we still have like twenty minutes to chill." 

Her words cause you to snort but you're not surprised considering it's Brie. Sighing, you too lean back. 

Twenty more minutes, it is. 

You have come to a decision.

Fascinatingly enough, in the course of the last few days, Brie's words kept ringing in your head. The more you replayed her words in your mind, the more you were getting this undeniable urge and it was that little chit chat with her from that morning that prompted you to come to your decision. 

The decision wasn't that hard to make, honestly. It's just that a part of you kept overthinking if it were the right choice. But somehow you only found yourself leaning towards the option you now have decided to stick to. 

You will remove the ring. 

You simply couldn't get over the amount of relief you felt when Brie's words had briefly made you come to the conclusion that you should remove the ring. The way your shoulders felt lifted at the thought of not having to constantly battle yourself about what's right and what's wrong, was a tell-tale sign of what actually felt right to you. 

It's true you'd have to go back to being the Y/N you heavily dislike. But that's something that stays with you, it doesn't affect someone else. It doesn't involve manipulating and lying to someone else. It doesn't involve having to carry the guilt of using someone else.

You have always been the person who has only ever existed to watch other people get love the way you have always wanted. It's so simple for them, they enjoy the love as if it's the sun rays. It's so natural, so comfortable, so acceptable. It only makes you think how if you were to find love, you'd probably treat it like the rain that is bestowed to a drought-ridden field. You'd probably worship it. You'd thank the heavens for listening to your prayers. You'd cry tears of joy and gratitude. You'd promise the gods above that you'll always be good and never take it for granted. 

However, you have never quite had the fortune of celebrating love and you have complained about how unfair it is to you, an infinite number of times. 

But the complaining comes from a place where you feel cheated of something that was promised to you. However, how do you keep your right to complain if you cheat someone else? 

Feeling like a victim feels much better to you than to feel like someone who's only getting what they deserve. Feeling like life is doing you wrong, is better than feeling like you're getting back for doing wrong.

Even when you are at your lowest, you have had your head high because you didn't intentionally cheat someone, because you didn't do something you won't want someone to do to you. You have been mad at the world for encouraging you to see dreams and then being so cruel to crush it so ruthlessly. But then again, you'd very much like to feel like you have the right to be mad, to complain, to be bitter and to scream and shout in pain and anger. 

You have also decided to steer clear of Jungkook. Or of anyone who's similar to him. Anyone who tries to remind you of everything wrong with you. You are already aware that you're not perfect, that you're not someone who qualifies for the word 'pretty' and you won't mind the absence of people who don't hesitate to remind you of that. 

But for that, you first need to tell Jungkook that you cannot be his model. Which is why you're still wearing the ring. You do not have the courage to face him without it and what would he even see you as if he were to see you without the ring? Would he even believe he actually did choose you to be his model? It's not like you can explain it to him that this ring holds some magical powers. He would probably add the word 'crazy' to the list of adjectives he uses to describe you. 

Today is practise day. You have decided on informing Jungkook about your decision as soon as you walk in the room as that'd be the best. 

You walk with determined steps and swing the door open. However, your steps falter when you realise that Jungkook isn't alone. Taehyung and Jimin are already in attendance. 

Shit. 

How do you tell Jungkook in front of them that you want to quit? Even the thought of doing so somehow manages to shake your confidence as you keep imagining the range of responses they could probably have. 

Guess, you'll have to wait till they leave. 

Taehyung is the first one to notice that you're awkwardly standing at the doorway. "Hello, Y/N," his warm boxy smile greets you. 

Taehyung's words make the other two men in the room aware of your presence as they simultaneously look in your direction. 

"Come in, we were waiting for you," Jungkook says, getting momentarily distracted from the papers that are sprawled on his desk. 

You tentatively smile at him and Taehyung, with Jimin already getting back to what he was previously doing, without paying you an ounce of attention. 

You take a seat next to where Taehyung is sitting and ask no one in particular, "Am I late?" 

It's Taehyung who replies, "no, you aren't. We had a class together and we just headed here the moment it got over."

You acknowledge his words with a small nod. 

Deciding it's best to remain quiet as it might as well be the last day you are spending with these three, you look around the room and observe the various educational posters that decorate the wall. 

You precisely ignore any conversation the three of them might be having with each other. That is until a few of Jungkook's words catch your attention. 

"So, this is the final list of participants?"

Jimin hums as an answer to Jungkook's question. 

"Final list?" You perk up, your heart rate speeding up.

"Oh yeah, the final list of participants arrived today," Jungkook informs you. "You can have a look at it if you like."

You are both curious and worried and hence, of course you take up on his proposition of taking a look at the document. As it turns out, it contains the name of participants from all colleges along with their pictures. It doesn't take you long to find Jungkook's, yours and Taehyung's name. 

"How did they get my picture?" You are confused as you had no idea when things were in the process of getting finalised. 

"From the documents submitted to college."

Of course. 

"So does this mean no one can change their models or back out?" You keep your voice neutral, pretending to be looking through the document as you keep flipping through the pages. 

"Saying that'd be wrong," you are no longer bothered who answers you. You are only bothered with what the answer is. "However, someone quitting now will lead to deduction of marks, unless it's a medical reason or an emergency. In case of which, supporting documents are required."

Isn't that just…. lovely? The very day you made up your mind. 

Everything feels incredibly puzzled in your head right now. The determination that you had walked in with, fades away as you're filled with panic. What do you do now? 

You entertain the idea of the door of quitting being closed and start thinking about what the future events could possibly be like. You'll actually have to practise modelling, you'll have to put yourself out there for everyone to see and be open to the fact that people will judge you.  

Now you are no longer just skimming through the papers, you're also looking at the pictures of people you're supposed to compete with. There are plenty of faces, way more people than you imagined you'd have to be against and all of them are way better looking than you. 

"So many colleges are participating," the words come out of your mouth without your permission as you find yourself so occupied with the recent realisations that your mind momentarily ignores the presence of other people in the room. 

"Not all of them are good though," this time you know exactly whose words they are; Jungkook's. "Take these two for example–" his finger lands on the page you're currently on as he points at the participants from a college, "–they don't seem like the right choice."

"Why?" You're genuinely confused as to how he can derive that simply from the photographs.

"I mean, they quite clearly lack what one needs to be a model," he replies with a tilt to his head as he observes the papers.

His words stir up the pot of nervousness that is the pit of your stomach. Is there something special that one needs to have to be a model, except for regular practice? If so, how the fuck are you gonna make it? 

"What exactly is required to be a model?"

"They have to be pretty," Jungkook now looks up, almost as if he has come to his conclusions and is satisfied with them. "They have to have an appearance that people find attractive. They clearly ain't it. As a model, you need to catch people's attention."

Your hands, which were busy flipping through the pages, stop. "Why do you think they won't be able to capture people's attention?"

"Their features are boring, plain and regular," he shrugs, letting the words out as if stating something that's supposed to be simple. "Nothing worth looking at and definitely nothing that catches attention."

Plain. 

Boring. 

Regular.

Your brows furrow painfully hard and you look away from Jungkook. You look back at the pictures in front of you and all you see is two smiling faces. They don't appear to be plain, boring and regular to you. They seem happy. The girl, Skye, has soft eyes and a gummy smile. The boy, Mike, has curly hair and a button nose. You do not find anything that supports Jungkook's claims and observations.

However, it's not unknown to you as to how it feels to be on the receiving end of words that make you feel like that. Like, plain, boring and regular. Like you're someone who isn't worth taking a double look. Like you're just an ordinary nobody. Like you will only ever amount to being a side character. 

You know very well how it feels. How wonderfully it crushes your soul. Which is why it hurts you to think that someone else could be subjected to feeling that way. The thought that their smile could be wiped off from their face in the blink of an eye, just like that, makes you ache. You know how painful it is and your heart clenches at the thought of someone else having to go through that level of heartbreak. 

"Well, isn't that a little too harsh of a judgement, when you haven't even seen them for yourself?" This is probably the most confident you have ever sounded while speaking to Jungkook.

"I won't call it harsh, it's just how it is."

"Do you really go on commenting on how people look without considering how they might feel?" You're confused and angry at how he can be so careless with his words.

Jungkook is caught off guard by your tone, only noticing now that you do not appear like your usual calm and shy self. He doesn't quite understand why you're suddenly like this. "It's not like they are here in the room."

How considerate of him. "Firstly, that doesn't make it okay," your words are firm and spoken with intent. "Secondly, I doubt you'd stutter with your words even if they were here in the room."

It's when your words are met with absolute silence that you take in your surroundings and notice how uncomfortable the air feels. But you're angry. 

Angry enough to not back down on your words, angry enough to not feel guilty about having an outburst and angry enough to leave the room. 

You don't hurry on your way out. Your heels click against the floor as you walk and pick up your bag. You look composed from the outside but only you know how your insides are burning with wrath. And when you leave, you don't run away from the tense atmosphere, you walk out of the room. 

After your departure, Jungkook doesn't let the silence linger for too long. He has to get things done and there's nothing more important to him than securing first place in the competition. 

He coordinates things smoothly as if you  didn't just leave the room moments ago. He doesn't seem bothered at all by the little disagreement the both of you had.  

It's only when it's him and Jimin in the room, that the little event is first mentioned.

"So what are you going to do about Y/N?" Jimin asks, genuinely curious as to how things fold out. 

"I don't know," Jungkook muses in a relaxed tone. "Maybe I'll go talk to her or something." 

"Are you planning on apologising?" Jimin's brows shoot up at the thought. Don't get him wrong, Jungkook can apolgise. It's not like he's physically incapable of doing so. In fact he does apolgise when he believes he's in the wrong. But that's the thing, it's very hard for Jungkook's stance to change when he thinks he's in the right. 

"What's there to apologise for?" Jungkook is genuinely confused as to why Jimin would think there's a need for an apology. It's not like he did anything wrong. 

Honestly, Jungkook would have preferred to let you be and let you take your time until you decide to talk to him. But again, it's something that involves the competition. He cannot wait for you to let go of the residual emotions of whatever reaction you had earlier. He knows it's best for him to put aside his ego and go talk to you. 

If he wants to win the competition, he needs all his team members to work together. Which involves you.  

You're sketching a tree. 

You were not really fond of the idea of going to the canteen as you're still quite cautious of the looks people may be giving you. To add to that was your lack of hunger, which ultimately made you decide that this is what you'd be doing for lunch. 

You're not quite sure if you'd be able to finish it in the forty minutes lunch time your university provides. It's not impossible to complete it but you doubt you'd be able to capture the details as well as you'd like to, if you were to rush. So you take your time. What's the rush anyway? You attend college almost everyday and the tree isn't going to grow limbs and change location. 

You're not an expert with trees and do not have a single clue whatsoever about how long this tree has been here. But somehow the tree appears to be young. You have nothing to support this weird assumption of yours. For all you know, the tree might be extremely old or old in human years and young in tree years, you don't know. But to you, it appears to be young. 

It has that spirit of someone young whose branches are aiming for something higher and higher. It doesn't quite seem shaken up by the storms and scorching heat, life inevitably must have put on its way. Each branch is filled with leaves and for every dying leaf, there's three new nodes sprouting. The little birds that have found their homes in the branches, bring more life to it, with their chirps and constant movements. 

You only hope it has strong roots. 

"Sketching that tree?" 

Your pencil stops and you lift your eyes up to look at the source of the words. Jungkook. 

"Yes," you nod and resume your sketching, not looking up even when he takes a seat next to you. 

"It's rather odd to sketch a tree," he comments. 

"Why? Too plain and simple for you?" The words leave your mouth as soon as they come to your mind. And boy do you feel an odd sense of satisfaction at having said that.

Jungkook chuckles loudly and his whole body shakes with movement. You do not bother to ask him as to what he finds so amusing in your words. 

"So tomorrow, I was planning to take your and Taehyung's measurements. Hope you'll be there?" Jungkook queries with a hint of a smile still playing on his lips, a residue of his chuckles.

You hum absent-mindedly, not in the mood of thinking things through before you give him an answer. 

Jungkook is relieved to know that there won't be any hindrance, when he hears your response. However, he's soon faced with a dilemma as to whether he should leave or stay. It's quite obvious that you aren't interested in having a conversation with him. But he wonders if you'll take offence to him leaving just like that. Wouldn't it make it look like he was only here to make sure that you're still willing to model for him? It might be true but well, he doesn't need to make it obvious. 

Jungkook isn't someone who overthinks. Come to think of it, overthinking might just be the wrong word. Jungkook doesn't think twice before doing things. He likes being that way. He likes doing what he feels without giving much of a thought as to what it could mean or what it could lead to. 

But here you are making him think twice before making a move. It makes Jungkook think that it's only fair that he gets to ask you the question he's been curious about since morning. After all, he's never seen someone react the way you did over comments made about someone else.

"What exactly had you so riled up?" 

Your hands stop and you look at Jungkook with eyes filled with surprise. Is he really asking you that? 

Your surprise only magnifies when you realise Jungkook genuinely doesn't have a clue as to what could have possibly made you react that way. 

Wow.

"Do you really not see anything wrong with what you said?" 

Jungkook doesn't need to answer you with words because the way he looks at you with confusion is enough of an answer. 

"It's not okay to say things like that, Jungkook," to both of your surprise your words are spoken softly, without any trace of anger. "Words are powerful, they hurt people."

"You mean, saying things like they aren't good enough to be models?" He prods for further clarification. 

"Words that do not take into consideration the impact it may have on people." You correct him, resuming your sketching. 

"It's not like they will ever know that I said that about them, though."

You have half a mind to say that he's definitely not someone who hesitates to give his opinions irrespective of whether the person he's commenting on, is or isn't in the room. You know because you have experienced it yourself. 

"That doesn't make it right, it's the fact that you think that way," you breathe, choosing not to speak what's on your mind. It's true that you had made that point earlier but then things were heated. Now, if you repeat the point again, you doubt you'd be able to provide him with a proper answer if he were to ask how you're so sure of your words. 

Jungkook is amused with your words, for he thinks they are absurd. "So are you saying I cannot think my own thoughts now?" 

You shake your head softly, understanding he's not getting what you're trying to say. It makes you take a pause and you try taking a different approach.

"What even makes you think that they can't be good models?" 

"Well it's the truth, had it not been me, someone else would have said it sooner or later," he shrugs. 

"Have you seen them walk?" You question without missing a beat, with a challenging lift of your brow.

"No I haven't but that doesn't mean–"

"So you're judging their capabilities solely on the basis of how they look?" 

"Listen," he finds it absolutely ridiculous, because it's like you are turning a blind eye to something that's just so obvious. Modelling does require people to look a certain way. "If they want to pursue modelling as a career, sooner or later they will face such comments."

"That's the thing! And it shouldn't be that way!" You exclaim, your voice turning slightly high pitched. "No one should ever have to feel like they cannot do what they want or cannot achieve what they want to because of the way they are."

"There's never been a rulebook for what a person can and cannot do. But you know who comes up with these rules?" 

"People like you."

Woah. Woah. Woah. That's a heavy accusation. 

"I didn't do shit," he scoffs, surprised at how you seem so passionate about your words. "It's only how life works. You have got to be logical and swallow the harsh truths of life."

"And who decides what's the truth?" Your voice is back to normal again, for you find yourself questioning him once more in hopes that he'd realise how superficial he sounds. 

"Some truths don't need to be said, they are just facts on which the world runs," Jungkook answers, making his point.

However you counter him immediately. "They are not truths Jungkook, they are simply beliefs. Beliefs which do not have a proper ground because they originate from mere ideas."

Jungkook comes to the realisation that there's probably no point in arguing with you as to why he said what he said because you apparently have an entirely different perspective of seeing things. That's not to say he doesn't find your views interesting. 

However, your words only make him more curious.

"Why are you so affected by it when it doesn't involve you?" 

Jungkook has noticed how you speak the words as if it's you who's been hurt and as if it's you at whom his words were directed at. 

"I-I am not affected by it," your words come out unsure as you are momentarily caught off guard by his question. To add to that, you are not quite sure what is a good answer to that, you just feel the way you feel. 

"You are though," he states, quirking a brow. 

One thing about Jungkook, it's very easy to read him. You think the reason behind that is how Jungkook is always so sure of himself. He probably doesn't ever feel the need to hide the way he's feeling or say things that don't match with his inner thoughts. He is always so confident. You are yet to see emotions like nervousness, doubt, shyness on him. Now that you think of it, you find it very difficult to imagine Jungkook being any of those things. 

But thanks to his easily readable expressions and body language, you can tell Jungkook is curious. Curious enough that you know he won't settle for a vague answer. 

"I don't know why I'm affected by it," you claim, knowing those words are not entirely true. "I just don't like the thought of someone getting hurt or feeling like they aren't good enough. That's a very painful feeling."

You are aware that telling Jungkook that you know how hurtful his words were because you know the feeling very well, isn't a good idea. He won't understand. Plus, you're not really willing to have that level of vulnerability with him.

Jungkook is confused. To him it doesn't make sense. You got so agitated, that you didn't hesitate to leave the room, all because you didn't like the way someone else could feel on hearing those words?

Confusing, indeed. 

Despite feeling like it, he chooses not to ask you any further questions. He has come to the conclusion that you're someone who's quite difficult to understand, at least for him. You're an emotional person, that much is obvious but then the depth of your emotions are seemingly so deep that he can't quite get to the bottom of it. 

He nods at your words and with that silence falls over the both of you. 

However, the silence only urges you to break it. You don't know if you'll ever get comfortable enough around Jungkook but you know you aren't yet. And you're not really sure you'd like to hang around long enough for that to be achieved.

"If you're getting the measurements tomorrow, how long until your designs come to life?" 

Jungkook doesn't expect you to start a conversation but he's more than glad to be talking about his designs and the competition. "I'll have to go to the market to get the raw materials. After that it will probably take a month to get all six of them done."

"So you'd still have three weeks in hand?" 

"Yes," he affirms. 

"Are you excited for it?" 

"You bet I am," a certain twinkle enters his eyes and you assume it's excitement. "My mom will be in attendance and all I want is to win that day."

"Are you a mama's boy?" You tease. 

"Maybe I am," he admits, with a curl of his lips and you're admittedly surprised because you didn't think Jungkook to be the type of person who'd openly accept to being mama's boy. "But I'm looking forward to the day because I'll be seeing her for the first time in twelve years."

"Twelve years?!" 

He nods. "Yeah, she got remarried and moved to the states when I was eight." 

You have so many questions. 

You want to ask, if his parents got divorced? You want to ask why, even if his mom got remarried, did he not get to be in her presence the way a child needs to be? It's understandable that she's in the states but not seeing her in twelve years? You want to ask if he has at least been in contact with her, throughout the years to make up for the void he might have felt without his mother.

But you're not as confident as Jungkook.

You don't want to ask or say anything that could make him uncomfortable or that could make him recall things that he doesn't want to. But most importantly, you're aware that these questions are extremely personal and no way are you and Jungkook anywhere near close enough for you to ask him these questions.

"I am pretty sure she would be happy and proud regardless of whether you win or not," you say with a small smile. "You'd be the best to her, anyway." 

Jungkook is caught slightly off guard by your words. However, he finds himself smiling involuntarily and a certain feeling of warmth makes its way to his heart at the thought of his mother being proud of him. 

He really cannot wait for the day. 

Anger. 

It's a rather powerful emotion. One which makes you temporarily blind to everything else. It can have your mind narrowly focused at getting your point across. It's an emotion that replaces the blood in your veins with fire. It can also make you forget about everything else temporarily.

And that's pretty much what had occured. 

In the midst of the anger you had temporarily forgotten that you know shit about modelling. The relief that you had felt at the thought of discontinuing being a part of Jungkook's team, is now replaced with twice the amount of worry. 

All it took was a night's sleep for you to come back to your senses. With the anger being washed away from your veins, reality came crashing down. But now you carried an additional weight as you were also aware that this competition meant a lot to Jungkook as his mother will be in attendance. 

If all of that wasn't enough, there was that dream again. The one where you're a little kid getting laughed by other kids your age and where there suddenly appears this tall, hooded figure whose face just always remains hidden. And the way you crawl in pain everytime it starts laughing, the way it makes you numb is exhausting. Just like last time, this time too you woke up breathless and just couldn't go back to sleep after that. 

You're anxious and sleep deprived. 

The best you could think of was to still go forth with your plan and just leave. But then you were reminded things weren't as simple anymore. You leaving also means deduction of points, which would ultimately mean Jungkook starting off with negative marks. For obvious reasons, it serves as a major reason why you haven't left the team yet. 

But if you don't remove the ring and just decide to stay, would you be even able to do justice to Jungkook's designs? Had it not been for the ring, the model wouldn't have been you. It would probably be Tina, someone who's of Jungkook's choice. If you were to represent Jungkook's design, wouldn't it be morally wrong on so many levels? 

There was also a teeny-tiny part of you that just wanted to go for it and give it your best, just so that you could prove your point from yesterday. You found yourself thinking what it would be like if you were to actually do a fantastic job at modelling and get rounds of applause for your performance. 

However, the fear of failing and lack of confidence quickly shut down those thoughts. Chances of you doing it are next to null. 

But all of that makes it only more and more confusing to you. Do you quit now, knowing it would lead to the deduction of marks and do what's morally right? Or do you stick with it to avoid negative marks for Jungkook? 

Nothing is ever simple for you, for the love of god. 

"Y/N?"

Your steps momentarily halt when you hear someone calling your name. Turning towards the person who's called for you, you're surprised that it's Taehyung. 

"Heading towards your class?" He asks, quickly catching up with you. 

You nod at him, feeling a little nervous because you've never really chatted with him outside properly. "You?"

"Same," he replies, with the boxy smile that always seems to be on his lips. "Didn't know you too had a class this early." 

"Yeah, I have early classes most days."

"Well, don't they suck?" 

"They absolutely do," a small chuckle escapes you.

A brief moment of silence falls on the both of you, which gives Taehyung the time to choose his next words carefully. 

"By the way, you're coming today for the measurements right?" 

Hesitation plays on your face as you are yet to come to a decision if going forth with the modelling would be the right choice. However, it's not like you can respond to him saying that you won't be there for the measurements. That'd probably lead to a whole lot of questions you're not sure how to answer. 

"I'd be there."

Taehyung is glad that's the case. He didn't think that things from yesterday were serious enough for you to quit. But at the same time, he wasn't quite sure you'd be willing to take part in today's activities. 

Truth be told, you left quite an impression on him last day. It was rather satisfying to watch someone give their piece of mind to Jungkook, even if it was for a brief moment. 

An obvious question that could pop up is, why then, if he's someone who thinks this way, did he not object when Jungkook was making those comments?

The answer to that lies in the fact that he's known Jungkook much longer than you. They might not be all buddy-buddy like Jimin and Jungkook are but he still knows Jungkook well enough to know that talking to him about certain matters is fruitless and perhaps a waste of time and energy. 

"That's cool," he comments, with an excited grin. "I really look forward to going down the runway with you."

The image of Taehyung walking in all his glory while you stick out like a sore thumb, flashes in your mind. "I'm not quite sure how that'd turn out to be." 

"Why would you say that?" He frowns in mild confusion, not missing out on your nervous smile. 

"I've never done modelling before, I'm not sure I'd be any good at it," shrugging lightly, you let the words out without much of a thought. 

Any other day, you'd probably have said something else as you really do not like telling your insecurities to people. Especially the ones you're so entirely sure of. It feels the equivalent of asking them to console you. It feels very attention seeking. However, your mind is already riddled with questions and you simply do not have the energy to overthink as to what other response you could have given.  

"The key thing about modelling is confidence," he claimed, with his shoulders lifting to emphasise his point. "While walking on the runway, for those thirty seconds or so, you better believe you're a goddess."

All the more reasons for you to think you'll be shit at it. "Oh I'll definitely not be able to do that."

Taehyung frowns deeper at the way you laugh, apparently, at yourself. "Why not?"

"Because I'm shit at modelling." Your words have the same energy as someone saying duh, like it's the most obvious thing.

He shakes his head. "You think that way only because you aren't confident enough."

"I'm not confident enough because I know I'm not good at it," you laugh, kind of enjoying the conversation now that it has taken a playful turn.

Taehyung also has a silly smile on his face. "Nah, nah, nah, it doesn't work that way."

You roll your eyes jokingly and snicker, "I'm sure it'd be quite a sight if I were to walk like a goose with the confidence of a goddess."

"Come to think of it, gooses would make good models," he hums, imagining the scenario. 

"They'd sure garner a whole lot of audience," you comment, now the scene playing out in your head too and dare you say it's stress relieving.  

Taehyung laughs and it causes the soft curls of his hair to bounce. His laugh is loud and free, you notice. He laughs without a care in the world and honestly, it's as much of a sweet sound as it is infectious. 

"I was nervous too before my first modelling gig," he adds, a warm and light smile playing on his lips now that his laughter has died down. "But sometimes you just got to ignore that voice and put yourself out there."

"And believe me, you can do an exceptional job at it if you allow yourself to."

You had protests on your lips but they die when you realise how sincere and genuine Taehyung looks. It leaves you speechless.

"Ah, that's my building," he announces before you can fully grasp his previous words. "See you in like three hours?"

You nod wordlessly and before you know it, he's bidding you goodbye with another warm smile. 

The words he leaves you with swirl in your mind as you're taken over by a sense of disbelief. 

You're not used to believing people's words when they show faith in you. Taehyung, however, seemed so natural with his words as if they were so easy to be said. It didn't feel like he said them because that's what he thought he was supposed to say. 

You're in disbelief because a part of you believes he meant what he said. 

You can do an exceptional job at it if you allow yourself.

His words ring in your head and you feel this wave of courage wash over you.

Taehyung thinks you can do it. He didn't lie to you for the sake of it. Maybe you actually can do it. But then again, you'll never know if you don't give it your all.

The thought causes a shiver of nervousness to run down your spine. You were not expecting to have this sudden change of thinking when Taehyung called for your name. But now that the words have had a significant amount of effect on you, you cannot seem to be able to push down the thought of just going for it. 

Even if you were to go for the other option of quitting, it would ultimately be affecting Jungkook. It would admittedly be wrong to keep him in the dark and model for his designs, unless, you do them justice. 

You're not quite sure what kind of affect the ring has on Jungkook. But you're almost entirely confident in saying that he does not view you as the girl of his dreams or isn't irrevocably in love with you. Because from the times you have spent time with him, you have never once felt that way. 

It was only after yesterday that you felt like you could be sure of your assumptions. It was the moment when the first thing Jungkook asked after your little disagreement was whether you'd be there for the measurements. He was quite clearly concerned only about the competition. You had somehow managed to ignore the voice in your head about the waitress thing, but this, you could not.

The realisation, however, wasn't uncomfortable. It felt relieving to know that he isn't in love with you. Maybe the ring has made Jungkook feel attracted to you, but that's pretty much the extent of it. 

If, by some chance, Jungkook does happen to be in love with you, you think you might just have chosen the wrong guy to make you feel loved. Not that you ever plan to try the ring on any one else, though. You have learnt your lesson in the form of extensive overthinking that has drained you both physically and emotionally. 

Nevertheless, you're also sure that there's no spark between you and him. What you felt that day was simply physical attraction and what propelled you to be hurt so deeply is most likely his words which made you feel so lowly about yourself. 

You know that going forth with the modelling might mean Jungkook still finding you attractive to some extent but you'll make sure nothing ever romantically takes place between the two of you. 

You had made a crazy whimsical decision based on your emotions and you don't think it's fair if Jungkook were to suffer because of it. It's not like you're over the emotions that Jungkook had triggered within you with his words but you have gotten used to the constant nagging of that insecure voice. Now, you can ignore it enough to think. 

You still feel pathetic but at least now you have gotten used to it and have made peace with the fact that maybe you indeed are pathetic and that there's no changing that. 

However, somehow, Taehyung's words have seemingly given you enough confidence to put yourself out there. Another important lesson you have learnt in the past week or so, is that, it's for the best to just make a choice and to stick with it. The questions of 'what-if's are simply never ending.

You shut your eyes and take a deep breath and decide to face the consequences that you have been avoiding and have been incredibly unsure of so far. 

You're going to model for Jungkook.

Fun fact: when someone finds themselves unable to make a decision it can often be a sign that they don't trust themselves enough :)

Also, I'm gonna upload a sexy enemies to lovers au featuring Jungkook in one of those bikes (you know exactly what kind 🥰) on my patreon this Monday. If you want to read it before anyone else you know where to find me 😌

permanent taglist:

@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07 @merlinkgeorge @i-have-no-life-charlie @cherryluvhobi

Series Taglist:

@youremyjinearth @charcutetaerie @hunbun07 @jyupuff @rosieatron @armydgirl @heartjiminie @leedoesntknaur @j3oooonsnsns @teteschim @azur3s @berryonasummerevening @zelchena @eegyo @oopscoop @itsdingdong

[funkycatbruh]

our beloved summer | jjk (07)

pairing: producer!jungkook x songwriter!reader genre/warnings: exes au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, swearing, mentions of oc's mother because we know girlie is hella traumatized, mentions of drinking, mentions of an almost physical fight, abandonment issues, jk forgets to practice safe driving for 2 seconds, and uhmmm kissing 🤫, anddd that cliffhanger? 👀 rating: 18+ (minors dni) word count: 10.8k note (1): this is the longest it has taken me to update obs and i do feel pretty guilty about that. but it's finally here now and this is one of the chapters that i'm the most nervous about posting. massive thanks to @daechwitatamic and @wintaerbaer for beta-ing this for me or else i would've screamed cried thrown up and scrapped the whole thing, and to @jeonwiixard for being a wonderful cheerleader as i was writing this, and to everyone in my beloved obs discord server for always being so sweet and kind and putting a smile on my smile every day since the server was created. also to my sunshine ☀︎ for introducing me to the song mentioned below bc HELLO is it not just one of the most obs coded songs ever. love you all my babies <3

series masterpost / playlist ; moodboards ; taglist join our OBS discord server ✨

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

Somewhere in the multiverse There's a me and you that works We never fuck it up We're out there still in love Somewhere in the multiverse Maybe that's enough

multiverse - Maya Manuele ft. PEMRBOKE

Sometimes, whenever you look up at the moon at night, you wonder if Jungkook is doing the same thing.

Even when you fall out of love with someone, it still hurts. It hurts because you once loved them so much it felt like the sky would collapse if you couldn’t be with them. It hurts because the love wasn’t taken from you, but rather it started slipping away on its own, more and more each day until you realize you’re holding onto nothing when there once was everything.

You can’t say that you’re too familiar with that kind of hurt though. You’ve never fallen out of love before.

You don’t think Jungkook is too familiar with it either, at least not when he left you.

You wonder if he thinks about you from time to time and gets sad. You think he does, because you know that he loved you. Something ended for him too. The memories that you shared were his memories too.

You hope that it’s painful for him whenever thoughts of you cross his mind, because that would mean that he cares. That a part of him still cares.

And if he still cares, then he might come back.

Despite the front that you try to parade around, there is a part of you that will always leave your heart vacant for him, regardless of whether or not he would return. It’s a scary thought, one that you would rather avoid at all costs, one that says there will be no one that you love more than you loved Jungkook. Maybe there can’t be another person that you will love at all.

You can come back quietly, like the wind slipping through the crack I leave in the window at night; or you can announce your return resoundingly like a sudden downpour quenching the summer heat. I don’t care. I kept your side of the bed empty and warm, waiting for you to come back. Hoping that you would come home.

[08:47] Yoongi: sure you don’t want me to drive you there? [08:48] Yoongi: i can pick you up in 30 [08:52] You: positive 🤧 i told you i already booked the train. it’s only 4 hours away [08:53] You: i’ll survive, yoongs [08:55] Yoongi: did you not watch Train To Busan? [08:56] You: ? [08:57] Yoongi: what if there’s a zombie apocalypse [09:00] You: yoongi if there’s a zombie apocalypse, how is your CONVERTIBLE supposed to keep me safe [09:01] Yoongi: i’ll put the roof up [09:02] You: stop talking [09:02] You: please stop talking. [09:03] Yoongi: 😡😡😡 [09:03] You: 😇 [09:03] You: gotta get dressed now though. i’ll see u when i get back? :) [09:05] Yoongi: fine [09:06] Yoongi: safe travels. text me when you get there :)

You plop onto your bed with a sigh, glancing at the bag that’s already packed and sitting near your wardrobe, lonely. You stay like that for a while, contemplating whether or not you should bail at the very last minute.

It was not on your bingo card that you’d be here, agonizing over your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding. Nope. Absolutely no one saw it coming.

For fuck’s sake, why would they invite you to a wedding? A celebration of love? It feels like you’re being forced onto a prank show, just waiting for someone to jump out and scream in your face.

You learned that the wedding was for close friends and family only, so it would be a relatively small event, which makes it even more confusing why you were also asked to join. Maybe the world is changing too rapidly and you’re just a little old-fashioned for it, but you really don’t understand why your ex-boyfriend’s family would want you there.

Taehyung and Jimin were invited too; they’re Jungkook’s best friends after all. They’re practically an extension of the family, Jungkook’s brothers by choice. But Taehyung doesn’t come back from his work trip until the day of the wedding, and Jimin… Well, he just doesn’t want to go to a Busan wedding in the middle of winter.

So why are you even going?

You could’ve declined. Said you couldn’t attend because the invitation came in so late. Made up a work trip or a family emergency. There’s a plethora of excuses you could’ve used.

Or you could’ve simply said no. That would’ve been perfectly fine too. No one would even need to ask why.

But maybe it was because his mother had customized the invite with her own handwriting in the back. You would’ve missed it if you hadn’t spent hours meticulously studying the card like someone was going to quiz you. It wasn’t anything special - just We hope to see you there - but you think you’d feel really bad to decline after she’d made the extra effort to ask you to come.

When you told Yoongi that you would be attending Jungkook’s brother’s wedding, he didn’t seem upset. Still cool as a cucumber. Although if he was bothered by the announcement, you don’t think he would’ve let it show. It did take him a minute to take it in, but then he just pecked your cheek and asked if you could bring a plus-one. You both knew that you wouldn’t even if that was an option.

Pushing your body off the bed, you drag yourself to the bathroom to splash some water on your face. Then sunscreen. Then change into the clothes you’d already picked out last night. Your train doesn’t leave for another hour and fifteen minutes, but you want to be there at least twenty minutes early just in case. This is one of your only good habits.

You rub your eyes when you finally haul yourself outside, thinking you must still be dreaming because what is Jungkook’s car doing here?

You blink a few times, expecting the vehicle to disappear in a puff of white smoke.

Spoiler alert: It doesn’t.

The car is in front of you, but the man is nowhere to be found.

You stand there dumbfoundedly, contemplating whether you should wait it out for a little bit to see if he’s actually here. He comes running up to you a couple minutes later, holding two paper cups in his hands, one of them a chai latte. A memory you’d buried long ago comes rushing to the surface. It’s too early for you to be feeling.

“Hi,” he says, his warm breath coming out in a huff of smoke in the crisp morning air.

“Hi?” you mutter dumbly when he trades the bag in your hand for the drink. There’s a moment where you’re genuinely baffled, wondering if this is a memory reel playing right before your eyes. This is your Jungkook, wearing that same old smile whenever he used to come bounding up your dorm building so you could walk to the library together, where he would hang out with you during your shift if he didn’t have classes. “What are you doing here?”

You don’t remember telling him what time your train was, so he’d probably badgered it out of Taehyung or Jimin somehow.

“I thought I could drive us there,” he says. “I texted you about it.”

Well, that explains it. You don’t bother with his dozens of messages anymore. “Oh, uhm, I already booked the train.”

This doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “Free cancellation up to 15 minutes before departure.” Jungkook grins, clearly eager despite your obvious reluctance. It’s too early for this, whatever the hell this is.

When you told him that you had RSVP’d yes to the invitation, he was surprised that you even knew about the wedding. He even seemed nervous that day.

“What if I’d already left?” you ask.

He blinks, then stammers like a confused child. It’s cute, and you have to mentally slap yourself over the head for even thinking that.

“Then I’d go after you.”

How? you scoff internally. Unrealistic.

Regardless, not even an hour ago, you were declining Yoongi’s offer to drive you there. Now, you’re standing here, in front of your ex-boyfriend, contemplating whether or not you should go with him.

“Let’s go,” he says after a minute. “We don’t wanna be stuck in traffic.”

“I haven’t said yes.” Yet. “It’s a 4-hour drive.”

You don’t have to clarify what you mean. He understands it.

You both just stare at each other for a moment, the tension suddenly thickening with every passing second. Four hours on the road. Four hours alone in a car with Jungkook. That’s about two hundred minutes more than you think you can handle.

It’s like he can see right through you. “Don’t think about it,” he says, voice dropping lower. “It’s just a weekend. Everything will still be here for you to think about when we get back.”

In your head, it translates to: All of our shit will still be here when we get back. You can keep being mad at me then.

You hope that’s not true. You hope that when you get back, the things that keep you up at night will simply cease to exist. That in the two days you’ll be gone, a genie will materialize and solve all your problems for you.

Either way, it’s probably for the best that you aren’t mean to him this weekend. You’re stuck with him for the next 48 hours or so; it’ll only stress you out even more if you channel all of your energy into tormenting him. Besides, you’re already the ex girlfriend who has no place alongside his family. You don’t want to be the dark cloud raining on everyone’s parade too.

Maybe you’d already made up your mind when you let him take the bag from you.

For the first half of the drive, you were unconscious.

It’s a useless superpower that you have, the ability to fall asleep anywhere - literally anywhere, including in the passenger seat of your ex-boyfriend’s car while he escorts you to his hometown. Melatonin gummies manufacturers hate you.

You could’ve slept the whole drive, but around the second hour mark, you were startled awake when your body jostled forward, straining against your seatbelt uncomfortably. There was an arm trying to hold you back, despite the seatbelt having done its job well.

“Fuck,” Jungkook curses before he turns toward you, worry written all over his face. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, are you okay?”

You blink, still half asleep. “I’m okay,” you say. The minivan that Jungkook almost rear-ended continues on its merry way, carrying what seems to be a family of five. “What happened?”

He sighs, his outstretched arm retreating back to his side. “I got a bit distracted, that’s all.”

You take in your surroundings then. There’s barely any other cars in sight, no tacky billboard that sticks out like a sore thumb to catch your attention. There’s just the freeway, stretching on empty for all you can see.

“By what?” you ask.

“Nothing,” he says. “Go back to sleep. I’ll wake you when we get there.”

See, you have the superpower of falling asleep anywhere and everywhere, but once you’ve been woken up, it’s not as easy to fall back asleep.

That, and the fact that you’re hungry as shit.

You open your mouth, about to say no, about to offer to drive the rest of the way if Jungkook is tired, but your stomach doesn’t let you get a word out. It growls, filling the space of the car, making you want to chuck yourself out the fucking window and run all the way back to the city. This wouldn’t have happened had you taken the train, because if you had, there would’ve been food services and no one would be subject to hearing your stomach sing like it’s chewing out a small puppy in there. Life is nothing but an endless pit of embarrassment and despair.

Your arms hold themselves tighter around your frame, practically squeezing into your abdomen as you will it to please, please, please be quiet. Jungkook stares at you, and you can tell by the teeny tiny quirk of his lips that he’s trying to bite back a smile. He’s relaxed, but there’s still something hesitant on his face. It takes him a minute before he finally throws the question out.

“Do you want to go to that guksu place that we used-” that we used to go to, “you know the place. The one that’s right off the freeway?”

The sun is out today. The sky unfolds endlessly just outside the window, coloring blue everything your eyes land on. There are strips of clouds scattered here and there, like delicate strokes of white paint on an azure canvas. Even the winter cold has to soften.You bite into your cheek. Don’t think, that’s what he had told you.

Not much about this quaint restaurant has changed. The quirky decorations are still where they used to be, the windows still the same unique stained glass that you never came across anywhere else. You remember the elderly woman who runs the place, even if she doesn’t have a single clue who you are. The golden retriever you used to fawn over every time you stopped by, sits quietly by the door and watches the cars pass by, his fur now graying as weariness begins to settle into those old bones.

You would’ve been displeased if the place had changed, because, well, you don’t like change. But then again, this familiarity is dangerous. It tricks you into thinking that everything is still the same, even you and him. Deludes you into believing that you’re still in love and that he’ll walk out of here holding your hand.

Regardless, the first spoonful has you biting back a smile.

“How is it?” Jungkook asks.

It makes you feel all warm inside, and then a little sad, nostalgic.

“Tastes just the same,” you tell him simply.

“Hmm.”

He lets you satisfy your hunger in peace. It’s the least he can do anyway.

There’s a wall near the back of the restaurant, where people could hang polaroids of themselves and cute handwritten notes. You think if you dig through the hundreds of photos scattered across the space, you might be able to find you and Jungkook there, if you two haven’t already been thrown out long ago to make room for new memories.

He pays for your food after you’re both finished, despite some protesting on your side. As you leave, you’re busy thinking that if you could have a moment to marvel at that far-back wall of memories, if you could find a photo of you and him there, you would probably sneak it into your coat pocket.

It’d be another thing to add to your pile of Jungkook memorabilia - the old clothes in the back of your closet, the stack of dusty polaroids at the bottom of your drawer. You wonder if he keeps anything of yours, maybe an old t-shirt that you forgot to take back. It’s probably unlikely, but a girl can hope.

You miss the way Jungkook glances back, thinking the exact same thing.

You survive the rest of the drive with more ease, probably because of the food. You spend most of the remaining 2 hours leaning against the window, humming to the radio, closing your eyes but not really sleeping. You even forget to be nervous about what is to come.

That is, until the car pulls up to the venue.

It’s absolutely gorgeous, and a lot bigger than you imagined - a modern beach house overlooking the waters. It’s not as extravagant as one would expect to see when they come to a wedding, but considering the small crowd in attendance, this is more than enough. You see people rush in and out of the place even from far away - planners, caterers, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, probably.

You feel a bit comforted just watching this. His family seems to be doing a lot better than before. It’s nice to know.

You barely make it out of the car before someone calls your name, and pulls you into a hug that knocks the wind out of you. Although, when you catch the scent of her hair, you instantly know who it is.

Parents usually have a scent that’s distinct to only their kids, a scent so cozy and homely that no perfume can ever mask. You can only describe your mom’s scent with a feeling, specifically the feeling of your chest tightening, tingling with a bittersweetness that you never found elsewhere. 

Strangely enough, Jungkook’s mother has always made you feel the opposite. She makes you feel relieved to be in her embrace, like she accepts you for who you are even if all you are to her, at the end of the day, is a stranger.

You hug her back awkwardly, hesitantly, in front of Jungkook’s dad, his brother Junghyun, and a girl you don’t know. You assume that she’s the bride-to-be, the main character whom this weekend revolves around. Sooji, you remember that was the name on the wedding invitation.

You get choked up suddenly, eyes turning glassy though you quickly blink it away. You’re not sure if you’ve had someone be so happy to see you. Bypassers might even think that you just found the cure for cancer.

For a second there, you wonder if your mere presence has ever made your mother this overjoyed.

You look at Jungkook for help, silently asking him to rescue you. Who else are you supposed to turn to if not him?

He understands that look. “Okay, mom,” he says, entangling her arms from you with ease, “Y/N’s tired from the drive. Let’s let her rest, yeah? I’ll show her the room.”

She ignores her son. “Honey,” she says, brushing your hair away from your face so she could see you better. “Thank you for coming.” She used to insist that you call her “mom”, or at least by her first name because “Mrs. Jeon” was too formal for someone she considered family.

You now have to opt for the latter, because “mom” isn’t an option for you anymore.

“Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Jeon,” you tell her with a smile. You’re not really sure what else to say, but it makes you a little sad just calling her that.

She opens her mouth before closing it again, seemingly about to jokingly scold you for the formality before she recognizes the bittersweet look in your eyes. She just smiles at you then. There’s not much to be done about it.

You don’t know if anyone else sees how the moment is weighed down. Probably not. Maybe it’s just you and her who share this sentiment.

Jungkook doesn’t wait for his mom anymore. Sons, typical. He wedges himself between the two of you like a bulldozer and leads you inside the house. 

Even though all you have is an overnight bag, Jungkook carries it for you all the way up to your room, which is only down the hall from his. Then he disappears pretty quickly afterward, saying something about his best man duties and putting out fires. He seems apologetic as he tells you this, but it’s not like you’re expecting him to babysit you all weekend.

You bore yourself to death in your room for a while, before you remember you have to text Yoongi to let him know you got here safely. Though, you stop short of telling him that it was Jungkook who drove you here. It’s trivial enough, right? You don’t want Yoongi to feel bad over nothing. You do, however, inform Taehyung and Jimin when you text them about it, to which Jimin only responds with a preemptively disapproving ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.’

When you get too stir-crazy, you wander outside, hoping to explore the beach before it gets dark and colder. You try to stay out of everyone’s way, because a good guest is a quiet guest. You seem to be doing a good job. No one notices you, not even Jungkook’s mom but that’s because she’s the person you actively want to avoid the most. You don’t know what you’d even say to her if she gets you alone.

Everything is hectic, as one can probably imagine when it comes to wedding preparations. You haven’t had anyone close to you get married yet, so it’s safe to say that you’re pretty much clueless about all of this. You wonder what it’ll be like when your big day comes around, if you even ever get married. You haven’t thought about it in a long time. Why would you? You don’t really have a reason to think about this. It’s much easier to picture Taehyung’s or Jimin’s wedding day than your own.

Your opinion on having kids still remains the same, and you were never one of those girls who daydreamed about having a big and extravagant wedding, but it’s not such a bad idea to ponder about. You still think marriage is a scary thing - it’s one of the biggest commitments a person could ever make - but you’re not entirely opposed to getting married. 

Why are you even mulling over this? Your time might never even come.

When you round the corner to get the steps that would lead you down to the beach, you run into Sooji and a woman holding a thick binder - must be a wedding planner. You give Jungkook’s future sister-in-law an awkward smile in greeting, which she returns much more gracefully before she tells the woman that she’ll be with her in a minute.

So now you’re stuck here, about to make small talk with a person you have never met before, and will likely never see again. Great. 

“Hi,” you say, extending a hand. “I haven’t had the chance to introduce myself. I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Sooji,” she replies warmly as she shakes your hand, and you have to stop yourself from being a little weirdo and thinking about how silky her hair looks up close. “You’re Jungkook’s… friend, right?”

You purse your lips before nodding with a chuckle. The pause tells you that she knows, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she’s uncomfortable having you here. 

“I’m sorry if this is weird. You probably don’t want a complete stranger at your wedding.”

Sooji shakes her head instantly, waving her hands around to dismiss your apology. “Please, it’s totally fine. Junghyun’s mom talked to me about it before we sent out the invites. I wouldn’t have agreed if I was really bothered. Don’t worry about it, seriously.”

“Why did you agree?” you ask, trying to sound as polite as possible. “You don’t know who I am.”

“I guess I was curious.” She shrugs, before laughing lightly as she says, “I used to think you weren’t real.”

“Huh?”

“She talks about you constantly. Never in front of Jungkook, of course. But she’s really fond of you, and you probably already know that doesn’t happen very often. She really does see you like a daughter. She made you sound too good to be true.”

You’re not sure how to respond to that. His mom still thinks about you, still talks about you after all this time. You’re just his ex-girlfriend, but she considers you her family. You don’t know what to do with this information nor the way it pinches your heart.

“I-” You purse your lips, fumbling with the responses in your head. You settle on a light laugh, because Sooji can probably tell that you’re struggling with the words too. “I have to be honest. I don’t know what to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should know that you’re still very much loved here.” She gives you a kind smile, and it looks like she wants to tell you something else but decides against it in the end. Sooji’s eyes land somewhere behind you before she points in that general direction. “I have to go take care of an issue with the flowers, but look, Jungkook is here. Why don’t you ask him to show you around?”

And then she’s already off. Overall, what a… strange interaction.

You turn around to see Jungkook standing near one of the entrances to the house. As you watch him talk to someone - a bridesmaid, you assume, or just one of the other guests - you try not to think about the fact that there’s a stirring sensation in your stomach, and that it only intensifies when she throws her head back in a pretty laugh, a perfectly manicured hand landing on his arm like he’s the most charming person she’s ever met. 

You don’t give it a name, don’t label it green in color even though you’re blue and he’s golden sunshine. You don’t acknowledge that it’s a feeling, because doing so would make it real and there are certain truths that you’d rather delude yourself into thinking are lies.

When Jungkook’s eyes catch yours and he cuts off the woman mid-sentence with a curt excuse me, you don’t acknowledge that feeling either, but it’s warm and it blooms in your chest as he makes his way to you. It’s something victorious, something that tickles your ribs.

He comes to you like you’re a destination he’s been waiting all his life to reach, and you certainly, adamantly don’t acknowledge the spectacularly dizzying feeling that swallows you whole when he places a gentle hand on your arm, his voice soft as he says, “There you are. I was looking for you.”

The familiarity, it’s catastrophic.

“I was just walking around,” you tell him. “There’s not a lot to do here. I was bored.”

“You have me,” he says. Probably not in that way, but you’d like to think that’s how he means it. “I don’t have any more fires to put out. What do you want to do now?”

You glance over your surroundings, still set on your original plans. You wanted to go alone, but you suppose you can let him accompany you. You check the time on your phone before asking, “Can we go down to the beach? I wanna see if we can catch the sunset.”

You used to do this whenever you came here to visit - walk along the beach, hand in hand, sunlight in your hair and the cool breeze holding you tight in the afterglow.

The keyword here is “used to”. Now, you have to stuff your hands in your pockets just so you don’t reach for him every time you shiver.

It’s late enough in the afternoon for you to see the moon faintly shine against a blue and orange backdrop. Sun and moon, together in the same frame. It feels symbolic somehow. You’re not really sure.

“The moon looks like an egg,” Jungkook observes astutely, taking casual strides next to you. It makes you burst into easy laughter, which makes him laugh with you too. You stop walking when you reach what you think is a good spot to watch the sky. 

“Let’s sit here for a bit,” you say. It’s not the greatest idea - sitting idly by would only make you colder - but you just want to stop and look at the sunset. Once you’re seated in the sand, you respond to his moon remark, “That’s true, y’know. NASA said so.”

“Yeah,” he says, settling down beside you, “you made me read that.”

You’d forgotten about it, and you didn’t think that he’d remember. It’s freezing cold and the moon looks like an egg, but you’re not thinking, and you feel safe. Nothing can hurt you here, or at least that’s what you’d like to tell yourself.

You wrap your arms around yourself to keep from shivering, but you still shiver anyways.

“Are you cold?” he asks.

“A little,” you admit. “I should’ve worn a thicker sweater. But it’s o-”

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence, just smoothly takes off his jacket to put it around your shoulders.

You put your hands atop his to stop him. When you touch him, there’s an electric tingle that almost makes you flinch. He feels warm, still resembling a human furnace. 

“No, you don’t have t-”

“Take the jacket, Y/N,” he says. “It’s just a jacket.”

The jacket smells like him. It only makes you want to crawl further into the warmth.

He seems more self-assured here, that’s what you notice. More like the version of himself that he used to be. Confident, sometimes borderline cocky. Annoying but oddly endearing, you came to love that about him.

His relaxed demeanor is understandable. You’re merely a visitor here, while this is his homeground. 

“I’m curious about something,” he says after a while.

“Okay.”

“What’s the deal with Wednesdays?” he asks. 

“You know how they say bad things come in threes?” You purse your lips, thinking it over, feeling something bitter in your mouth as you recall the events that led to this. “My parents got divorced on a Wednesday. I moved out of mom’s house on a Wednesday. And…” You hold your knees close to your chest as you hesitate to utter this last part, “we broke up on a Wednesday.”

You see the exact moment Jungkook mentally slaps himself, paling a couple shades as he tongues his cheek, not expecting his question to inadvertently lead back to this. It wasn’t your intention to guilt trip him. It was true that he dumped you on a Wednesday, but you don’t want the mood to turn sour, to have to mull over this again. Like he said, it will still be there for you to worry about when you get back. You’re not looking forward to returning to a shitshow, but what you’d hate even more is to tarnish the memories of this place just because you can’t keep from being vindictive for not even a weekend.

“I was born on a Wednesday too, so I guess bad things come in fours sometimes,” you continue, chuckling to yourself humorlessly.

A frown appears on his face almost instantaneously. “What is that supposed to mean?”

You shrug. Jungkook turns his body toward you, which makes you spare him a glance before you return your gaze to the horizon. His face is so serious that it’s almost funny. “Y/N,” he presses. “Why would you say that?”

“C’mon, it’s a joke. I was just being self-deprecating. Lighten up.”

“Why are you talking like that?”

“Like what? Contrary to popular belief, I don’t walk around with a thundercloud over my head all the time,” you laugh lightly. “I figured if there was a day to be nice to you, it should be today. And tomorrow, I guess.”

“This is you being nice?”

Funny how just a few weeks ago, you were fighting with him and calling him a hypocrite. Now, you’re sitting together, watching the sun set, trying not to be mean to him.

“I’m not picking a fight with you,” you say. “This is nice enough.”

“It’s not even my wedding.”

“Okay.” You glance at him again, letting words flow without a single thought. “I’ll be even nicer to you on your wedding day then.”

You don’t know where that even came from, but something aches the very second the words leave your mouth. The thought of him getting married one day makes you just nauseous, even though you always knew that it was a possibility. It might even be inevitable.

You clear your throat, waving the sullen feeling away. Your body shivers then, even after the added warmth of his jacket. Maybe you’re not shivering because of the cold anymore.

He doesn’t say anything, but you can feel his eyes linger on the side of your face. The both of you keep tiptoeing around an elephant that follows you wherever you go. 

You hug your knees close to your chest, watching the blue sky melt into the golden horizon, splattered with ribbons of cotton candy clouds.

You want to scooch closer to him and have him wrap his arm around your shoulders. This isn’t the spot where you used to draw your names in the sand, enveloped in a giant heart like two lovesick kids, but wouldn’t it be nice to imagine that it is?

“I was always really happy here,” you mumble to yourself.

You were, truly. This city was your pocket of hope, your piece of peace.

Being here brings back so many memories.

It’s the same feeling you get every time you pass by somewhere you used to live. The nostalgia of walking down the same road you used to walk every day until your shoes wore out. The familiarity of your surroundings. The bittersweetness of looking into a past you cannot hold anymore, of remembering the person you were at a certain period in your life, of knowing the things you do now that you didn’t back then.

You long for things you cannot change.

Nostalgia only grows stronger with time, you can always count on that.

He hums in agreement, before admitting quietly, “I miss you.” One pulls, the other pushes. The water wavers, like it’s touched by his words, simple but earnest. You’re touched too, somewhere in your heart, where you know you should be writing someone else’s name now.

Should?

“You’re pushing it,” you say softly.

“I know.”

You look at him. Maybe it’s because you’re back in the city that holds only good memories of you two. Maybe you’re hypnotized by the way the pink and purple hues kiss his side profile, making him feel like a fever dream and not someone you loved. Maybe it’s the cold, making you yearn for any source of warmth. But instead of returning his sentiment, you say, “It’ll pass.”

He meets your eyes. There’s something pleading in his gaze. All things pass eventually. Time moves forward, people move on. Bad things will pass sooner or later. Your worst heartbreak, your most arduous trials, your saddest moments, they will all pass.

And good things… good things will have to pass too, whether you like it or not.

Your fingers twitch from where they’re still holding onto your body. You itch to reach for his hand. You don’t tell him what he wants to hear, even though here’s a part of you that wants to say it back. In a better world, you would be telling him I love you too, instead of having to suppress an I miss you too.

“All things have to pass eventually. This will too.”

[20:05] Taebear 🐻: we could go to that bar near the gallery. Y/N likes the cocktails there [20:06] Mimi 🐥: kay kay [20:06] Mimi 🐥: soooooo next friday? [20:09] Mimi 🐥: why is y/n reading our messages. shouldn’t she be at dinner [20:09] You: i approve of the bar choice [20:11] You: if you didn’t want me reading your messages, you shouldn’t have sent them to the gc [20:11] You: and if you must know, i’m skipping dinner. i’m avoiding Jungkook’s mom [20:12] Mimi 🐥: understandable. i figured you would do that [20:13] Mimi 🐥: how’s it going? are we regretting going yet? i told you to just stay home and we could binge watch the office together [20:15] You: and EYE told you that you could be a good friend and go to this wedding with me but nooooo baby doesn’t like the cold [20:16] You: you could’ve visited your parents while you’re here you know. two birds with one stone [20:18] Mimi 🐥: babes my parents stayed with me for a whole month last month. i reached my quota for family face time  [20:19] You: son and friend of the year 👏 [20:20] Mimi 🐥: 😎😎😎😘

[20:22] Taebear 🐻: hey [20:23] You: uh oh. am i in trouble? why is this not in the gc? [20:25] Taebear 🐻: lol shut up [20:26] Taebear 🐻: you okay? [20:28] You: feels like that could’ve been a perfectly good question to ask in the gc [20:29] Taebear 🐻: because it’s a serious question and we both know Jimin can’t be serious for one minute to save his life [20:32] You: why does it have to be a serious question? 🤪 [20:32] Taebear 🐻: 😕 [20:33] You: stop pouting. i’m fine [20:35] Taebear 🐻: are you? [20:36] You: i am! you don’t have to go all mama bear on me [20:39] Taebear 🐻: ha ha ha. you’re so funny [20:40] Taebear 🐻: want me to call you? [20:42] You: i said i’m fiiiiiine 🙄 [20:43] You: but also no because i told everyone i was tired and i’m pretending to be asleep in my room right now [20:43] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:43] Taebear 🐻: did you eat something at least? [20:44] You: i have a cup ramen in my room [20:45] Taebear 🐻: okay [20:46] Taebear 🐻: how was today? did JK make you wanna strangle him? [20:48] You: okay Kim Taehyung at least act like you have some faith in your friend lol [20:50] You: but mmmmmm it was ok. he was mostly behaving himself [20:51] Taebear 🐻: mostly? [20:54] You: we were down at the beach and he just told me he missed me out of the blue [20:55] You: Mimi is asking why no one is replying to him  [20:57] Taebear 🐻: i can see that [20:58] Taebear 🐻: what did you tell JK? [21:01] You: i quoted fleabag to him [21:09] Taebear 🐻: i had to google that [21:10] Taebear 🐻: i still don’t know what that means [21:11] You: i know you don’t lol. you’re adorable [21:11] You: i’ll tell you when i get back.  [21:13] You: ok bye i have to sleep early or i’ll look like ass in the morning [21:14] Taebear 🐻: oh. okay [21:15] Taebear 🐻: sleep tight. remember not to gorge yourself on booze tomorrow [21:17] You: thanks for the reminder. love you mom 🙄💕 [21:17] Taebear 🐻: :) [21:20] Taebear 🐻: you won’t look like ass btw

You clocked out right after you told Taehyung that you would. It wasn’t a peaceful sleep though. The anxiety simmering in your belly woke you up a few times throughout the night. You don’t even know why you were anxious. It’s not like you were the one who was about to walk down the aisle.

When morning finally came and you managed to untangle yourself from the surprising comfort of your familiar bed, you practically dragged your feet for the subsequent two hours, trying to get ready. As if that would actually slow down the passage of time.

You had to compartmentalize the things you needed to do in a mental checklist. Makeup. Hair. Dress. Stare at yourself in the mirror for half an hour and internally freak out while waiting for Jungkook to come get you from your room.

Now you’re sitting in the wedding hall, watching people filter into the room. It’s not even a lot of people, but you’re still overwhelmed regardless.

You feel so exposed, even though he’s the only one looking at you in this room of strangers. He’s been looking at you like that ever since he first saw you this morning, in a dress that you got just days before the wedding. You still don’t know if it’s entirely appropriate for your ex-boyfriend’s brother’s wedding - maybe a bit revealing - but it was the only one you could find on such short notice.

When you tried on the dress for Taehyung and Jimin a few days ago, Taehyung said you looked beautiful. Jimin said you looked decent, “six point five out of ten,” which translated to “pretty nice” in Jimin-lingo. That would’ve been enough if you were going to any other wedding, not one where Jungkook would also be attending.

You had wanted him to see you and regret ever leaving you.

It was a silly thought, just a tad adolescent.

You had wanted him to see you in your dress and be consumed with thoughts of you until he couldn’t even see straight. To be the only thing on his mind, you didn’t think it was a lot to ask for.

That was before he told you not to think about it and you’d been convinced to just go with the flow just for two days. It was before he actually did see you earlier today in your dress - a simple midnight blue satin cowl neck with a slit in the thigh - but you were the one rendered helpless and speechless. He had stared at you for a minute when he came to walk you down from your room, then he’d said, all breathless even though both of you were just standing there, “You’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful, not You look beautiful.

You don’t know why, but you appreciated it.

It made your cheeks burn underneath your artificial rosy blush. Stupid, you thought to yourself when you two made your way to the main hall. Stupid for letting yourself get dizzy because of a single compliment from him.

You’re seated with his parents, which makes sense because you don’t know anybody here except for them. Well, maybe you know one of his cousins whose kid you and Jungkook used to babysit whenever their family was in the city, but you doubt that he even remembers you anymore.

When the ceremony begins, your heart instantly feels like it’s about to drop to the pit of your stomach.

You can’t lie to yourself. It stings.

It stings just sitting here next to his parents like a daughter-in-law, like a member of their family, watching his brother solidify his happy ending.

It stings that Jungkook is standing up there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes aren’t on the couple. They keep flickering to you no matter how much you try to pretend that they don’t.

It stings that even though you don’t think about marriage often - or maybe you just don’t allow yourself to - you can’t deny that the thought does cross your mind from time to time. Any time that you’d wander the corridors inside your head, you’d pass the doors that you keep unopened on purpose but there’s always that one door marked with a bright red X that you can never sidestep.

You watch Junghyun and Sooji with their teary smiles and shaky hands, shaky but happy. There’s a sudden clarity that this could’ve been you and him in another life. Forever is a lie, but you would’ve perjured yourself a thousand times for him. I do - you would’ve meant it.

You imagine yourself in Sooji’s place, and Jungkook, standing right on the other side, holding both your hands in his. A beautiful and radiant bride terrified of the altar. A dashing groom with a smile that could rival the sun and shoulders weighing heavier than he lets on.

It would’ve looked clumsy, but it could’ve been right.

You wonder if he’s wondering the same thing. Maybe he is. You hope he is.

When the ceremony ends with a kiss shared between the newlyweds, you wipe away the tears that well up in your eyes. The people around you do the same thing, but they’re doing it for the right reason, out of genuine joy for the happy couple. You don’t think you can say the same for yourself.

Some of the bridesmaids fawn over him. It’s reasonable, you suppose. One tends to do that in the presence of Jeon Jungkook.

You watch as they come up to him one by one to ask him to dance, watch as he politely declines until they’re all stalking away with similar pouts on their faces. You watch him until his eyes lock on you, sitting at a table near the back, nursing a glass of champagne.

He weaves himself with ease through the people making their way to the dance floor. When he’s in front of you, he holds out a hand.

“Dance with me?” he asks, his doe eyes working overtime to lure you in with their sparkles, though you’d rather stay here where you can easily go unnoticed until the night ends. “One song?”

“I don’t know how,” you say, even as you’re taking his hand and standing up.

“I showed you how, remember?”

“That was a long time ago.”

He squeezes you reassuringly. “Just follow my lead,” he says, walking the both of you to the floor. “C’mon.”

Once the music starts, your heels stomp on his feet at least three times before you start finding the beat to move along to. Muscle memory, or whatever, is bullshit. You remember absolutely nothing of what he showed you.

You’re grateful that the song is slow, because it makes it easier for you to follow the beat with your two left feet. He takes one of your hands in his, the other settling on the small of your back, guiding you to move in a steady rhythm.

You feel his mother’s eyes on the two of you, because she must be somewhere nearby, watching you like a hawk. You feel his gaze on your face while you keep yours on the knot of his tie, just trying to keep your composure and to not step on his feet with your heels.

The blur of white that you catch from the periphery of your vision makes you turn your head. Sooji and Junghyun are close by, swaying together slowly to the soft music, both of them glowing with happiness. She must sense your eyes on her, because she lifts her gaze up to meet yours. She smiles at the sight of you and Jungkook, and you smile back, because you don’t know how else to respond to that.

You don’t say it, but you do think it. Your fingers tighten around his hand ever so slightly.

Could that have been us?

If the answer is yes, then it would hurt.

If the answer is no, then it would hurt.

The point of your story is that it’s painful however you choose to look at it. There’s no other way to frame it. It’s just painful, because you’re never going to get any of it back.

You bite your lip, then turn away from the happy couple but you still don’t look at Jungkook. You look at your hand in his, and that’s when you see it.

“How’d you get that?” you ask, gently tracing the inch of slightly raised skin on his knuckles. You never noticed the scar until now.

“It was four years ago, I think? After Taehyung and I almost got into a fight, I went outside and… punched a wall,” he says, wincing as he recalls the memory.

His answer takes you aback. “You and Taehyung got into a fight?”

“Almost,” he corrects. “It was a long time ago. Didn’t they tell you?”

“No, they didn’t say anything. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.”

“If it was really nothing, you wouldn’t have punched a wall.” You frown. It makes you miss a few beats, but the song isn’t what’s important now, even if Jungkook is still trying to steer you back into the dance. “Taehyung isn’t violent. You aren’t violent.”

“I’m serious,” he says finally. “It’s nothing. We were just drunk and stupid.”

You know there must be more to it, that something must have happened or been said to trigger such a reaction from both of them. But you also know that you won’t probably get anything out of Jungkook if he doesn’t want to tell you.

You give up, for now. “Fine. If you say so.”  You’ll just have to weasel it out of Jimin later.

The song comes to an end, before another one comes on. If Jungkook remembers that he only asked for one song, maybe he’s counting his blessings that you’re still here and dancing with him, because he doesn’t mention it.

For some reason, you pull your hand away from his, only to slide up his shoulder to lock both of your hands behind his neck. He seems surprised, but he does the same around your waist.

Jungkook’s gaze flickers to your lips briefly, then back to your eyes again. You find yourself doing the same and wonder what he tastes like after all the time you’ve been apart. Is he still as sweet as you remember? You used to tease that it was because of the excessive sugar he put in everything, but you knew it was really just him. The few inches between you are so inviting that it’s practically tempting you to close the gap. You could, easily in fact. Blame it on one too many glasses of champagne later if you want.

He looks younger like this, like the boy you loved, starry eyes and dimpled smile. His shoulders are always the most comfortable resting place, the crook of his neck your long lost home. This is nice, you think, to see him again even though it feels like a fever dream. Memories of your first date, your first kiss, come to life before your eyes so realistically that you could almost touch them.

Loved? That sounds funny to you.

The people you used to be, souls wrapped in innocence, when the world was nothing but the arms of the person you loved. You reach out, and the memories quickly fade from view. The only trace they leave behind is a speck of gold on your fingertips, a memento of charming naiveté for you to tuck neatly away in the corner of your mind, but also a reminder that ah, they only exist in the locket of your heart now. Because he has changed, and you think you must have too. Life, as they say, goes on.

“We made it. Kind of. That’s crazy,” you find yourself saying.

“Did we?”

“You don’t think so?” you chuckle. “We’re in a group chat with the Kim Seokjin who spams it with bad jokes on a daily basis. I’d call that a win.”

That makes him laugh. “If you put it like that, yeah, maybe. Sure.”

Other people might be fooled, but it doesn’t sound at all convincing to you. The light doesn’t really reach his eyes. You bite the inside of your cheek, thinking of how to translate the sudden poignant turn of the moment.

“It isn’t everything you hoped it’d be?” you ask.

His shoulders rise then fall quickly in a second-long shrug. “I thought it would make me feel more… fulfilled. But it doesn’t. Not really.”

The way he says it and the way he’s looking at you makes your heart dive. You understand what he means. You’re good at what you do, and you don’t need reassurance from anyone to recognize that. But sometimes, it doesn’t feel like it’s enough. Doesn’t feel like it’s real, like it’s validated.

When you landed your first big project, even before Yoongi, you were so proud of yourself. You were bursting with excitement but you weren’t happy, and you knew what the reason was. Something was missing that couldn’t be filled, not even with all your friends’ hundreds of messages of encouragement. 

It’s beyond stupid, this feeling like your wins amount to nothing at all just because of one person. You wanted him there to celebrate every achievement with you and he wasn’t, and the milestones seemed incomplete without the presence of him. It doesn’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything because this always used to be a dream you thought you’d make come true together.

“It’s lonely,” he concludes.

It sounds like he feels the same way, like he wanted you to be there too.

He suddenly holds you tighter than you think he needs to, like he’s afraid to let go of you. You imagine that he doesn’t want to let go of you, and it makes you feel better for a second. But it doesn’t change the fact that he still did in the end. And he will have to when this ends.

What was the point of this? Why did he bring this upon yourselves when he seems to be as hurt as you are? All of this time, all of these years, lost to what? You could’ve been happy together but instead, you were both lost and miserable.

When the music stops - you lost count of how many songs it’s been - you pull away from him. He looks disappointed, maybe even a little hurt for some reason.

“I’m gonna get some air,” you say, already turning away from him.

“Y/N-”

“I need some air.” Then you’re weaving through the dancing couples despite Jungkook calling your name. How did he manage it? How did he not look back when you called out for him?

You hastily grab your coat on the way out. It’s not going to keep you warm, but that’s not something you’re even remotely concerned with.

It’s everywhere, you feel it down to your bones.

The wind wraps itself tightly around you, intertwining in your hair, slipping through the cracks of your fingers, caressing your face in a chilling touch. You greet the cold like a long lost sister, shivering violently with nostalgia. It was there for you more than your own flesh and blood.

Is that why you like the sea at night? Because it reminds you of mom?

It’s dark out here, barely anything is visible except for a lighthouse sending out light in the quiet of the night. You can’t see much, but you can certainly hear it. You’re not sure if the music is coming from inside the venue, or if it’s still ringing in your ears. It’s probably the latter; you’re too far away to be able to catch the music anyway. But regardless, the tune is quickly drowned out by the sea.

The waves crash violently against the shore like it’s out for blood. There’s a magnetic pull, as if it’s calling out for you. You want to go to it, to reach out and feel the cold outside of your body for once, but you stay there despite your legs itching to stand up and run straight ahead. Into the water and down under.

You could lie down and close your eyes for a moment. The sound of the water, as sharp and brutal as it is, nurtures a part of you somehow.

You just want to be alone. You don’t want to talk to Taehyung, or Jimin, or even Yoongi.

Oh.

Yoongi.

It’s a terrible feeling, knowing that you’re going to hurt Yoongi. Knowing that you’re going to kill this even before it has a chance to truly begin.

Truth be told, you can’t envision a future with Yoongi. There isn’t anything wrong with him, because he’s not the problem here. Yoongi is fun, he’s considerate, he keeps things light on purpose for you, until you’re ready to initiate something more serious. He’s good for you, even Taehyung thinks so.

But you can’t love Yoongi, not in the way that he wants you to. Not more than you love Jungkook.

There you go. Ruining things again.

Did you ruin Jungkook? Is that what happened?

The layers on you are no match for the sea at night. The wind hisses relentlessly, biting at any part of your skin that’s exposed.

It takes you back to that night. Almost everything does, actually.

Maybe that’s why you never even stopped to consider starting anything with anyone, because it always ends. If there’s a beginning, then there will be an inevitable ending. Love isn’t made to last and you aren’t meant to carry love with you. You’ve been abandoned twice. If it happens a third time, it’s a pattern, and then your hypothesis will only be proven. That the problem here is you.

You’d be lying if you said you haven’t wondered when it’ll finally be Taehyung’s turn to leave. He eventually will, right? That one’s gonna hurt.

Then, you’re startled when someone calls your name.

“What’s wrong?” Jungkook asks. The wind and the waves masked the sound of his footsteps walking up to you. When you turn around to face him, his eyes grow worried, almost panicked. “Why are you crying?”

You breathe out irritatedly before you hastily wipe at your cheeks. You didn’t even realize that you’d been crying. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine,” you say, though you both know it’s a lie. “I’m just tired. I’m going up to my room.”

He catches your wrist in a firm grip when you try to walk away. You wish he’d just leave you alone, but you knew he wouldn’t drop it just like that.

“I said I’m fine,” you insist.

“You were crying,” he says. “Did I do something wrong?”

He didn’t, at least not tonight.

God, you really don’t want to do this right now.

“Jungkook,” you warn. “Let go of me.”

You try to free yourself from his grip, hoping that he’ll get the hint and back off for now. Instead, he pulls you into his chest, where you struggle to escape from his hold until you realize your efforts are futile. He takes the wind’s place, wound tightly around you, so tightly that it’s nearly impossible for you to move.

You hiss out his name, but he doesn’t budge. 

“Jungkook, can you just- Fuck!

Damn him.”

You realize he’s not giving up, which in turns make you give up struggling, hoping that if you let this be a moment, then it’ll be something that can pass.

You’re just standing there, letting him hold you, letting yourself be held by the person who broke you in the first place. This feels exactly like where you’re supposed to be - in his arms, with your face hidden in the crook of his neck, his gentle fingers stroking your hair. There’s not a lot that you could do but lean into that feeling the same way you lean into him. One foot in the sand, one foot in the past. A hand on the doorknob of time, wondering if you should look back or look forward.

You want to be alone, but that never used to apply with him.

The wind stills, the sea calms. You remain unmoving too, locked in his embrace. You feel the faint rhythm of his heart, beating faster than you think it should. If you could, you would bottle this moment up and live there forever.

I miss you, you think.

I miss you.

I miss you.

I miss you.

Then your arms are around him too. It only makes him hold you tighter, and all you can think about is how much you miss him, how painful it is to miss him, how you feel like you’re being pulled apart at the seams from the weight of missing him. 

Fuck.

Can you pretend that the last few years never happened? Is there a higher power that would allow you to go back to the night before that wretched Wednesday, when everything was still perfect? Hundreds of days of your life, can you pretend that it was just one long nightmare? When you wake up, you’ll be back in his humble apartment, tangled up together in his bed. Warm sunlight, your silken youth, and him. It was all you ever needed.

Again with the devastating familiarity. The city, the beach. His mother’s warmth that always made you reminisce about your own mother’s coldness. How Jungkook used to find you in moments like this and just stayed by your side until the dejection passed. He understood that he could never understand it the way you did.

You hear yourself sniffle, then you feel him press a kiss into your hair. Home is comforting.

Oh, you never want to leave.

You don’t want to leave, and that’s terrifying.

You allow yourself to stay there for one more second - one endless second - so you could commit to memory what it’s like to be with him. Back and forth. It’s always so easy to fall into him.

Jungkook releases you when he feels you loosen after a while, and you reluctantly meet his eyes as he tilts your head to face him.  His fingers cradling your jaw, how warm and delicate they feel on your skin.

You swallow thickly, your mind going blank. He’s the only person you see, the only one that matters. His eyes flicker south, and even then you don’t make any move to run away, despite his loose grip on your waist telling you that you can if you want to.

You told him that it would pass, and maybe for him, it will. For him, it’s the city and the moment, making him feel like he’s caught up in a page that he’s turned over a long time ago. He was fine with leaving, and he’s been fine without you. It will pass for him, as much as it hurts you to admit it.

But not for you. For you, there’s only him. There’s nobody else but him. It’s always been him, no matter how hard you try to tell yourself that there will be another person you can love as much as you love Jungkook. You might only be a page, perhaps even a chapter, in the story of his life, but he’s your entire book. He’s volume after volume after volume, until he takes up the whole shelf and leaves no room for anything else, not even for yourself.

And now here he is - at the biggest turn in your career.

He’s a bad blood cell you can’t ever get rid of.

You’ll never be able to truly let go of him. How could you? When you truly love someone, those feelings will carry on forever. They’ll always have a piece of your heart despite an ending. When you look back on a certain period in your life, you’ll think to yourself, You’ll always be a part of me. I loved you then.

But Jungkook is a force of nature. He has your whole heart.

Years and years from now, when you look back on your life, you know you’ll see him everywhere. Even when you’re old and gray, and when faces all just blur together in a mosaic of broken memories and long lost youth, you know you’ll still remember him - the person you loved, the one whom you let slip through your fingers. The great love of your life when you were young.

Sometimes, you regret that day. You can’t help feeling like it was your fault too. Maybe you should’ve tried harder to keep him. You should’ve fought harder, should’ve held onto him instead of standing there and watching him leave.

He lit the match, and you let the house burn. It takes two to tango, two to break a heart.

You’re quick to let people leave. Oh, how you wish it could be that easy to let them go too.

It isn’t until your eyes mimic the flicker of his gaze that he leans in. You meet him halfway. For the first time in years, you feel like you could breathe, truly breathe. It’s achingly slow, like neither of you can believe that this is happening. 

You sigh against his mouth when his tongue brushes your bottom lip, slips past the seal to devour you. It feels like a perfect dream. You could stay in this bubble with him forever, pretend that you’re the only two people who exist in the world and there’s nothing else, no one else, waiting for you in a city that seems so far away right now. The thought of him never left you, not even for a second. He’s always been with you everywhere you go, no matter what you do, always in the back of your mind.

He tastes like your youth, like remembrance. He kisses you like he’s still yours when deep down you know that you’re still his. The hand on your jaw is gentle but firm, and it makes you repeat a thought, I miss you.

Then a feeling, I love you.

Not then. Now.

I love you now.

I love you even when I shouldn’t. Even when it hurts. Even when you leave me. Even when you don’t love me more than I love you. If there comes a day where you love somebody else, I will still love you then. There will never be another person for me but you. My first and only love.

When he pulls away, you think it’s too quick, even though your lungs are grateful for the breath that you instantly inhale. You stare at his lips like you’re in a daze, mesmerized, wanting to chase them again. You don’t even know how you have it in yourself to utter these next words, but you hear your own voice saying them anyway.

You’re holding onto him now. Doesn’t that count?

“Let’s…” Your fingers tighten on the collar of his dress shirt. “Let’s go up to your room.”

note (2): so... what do we think?? will they?? won't they?? 😵 stay tuned for obs7.5 which will be dropping 29.09.2023! also i'm gonna pause obs muse asks for a little bit! 😬

all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted september 24, 2023]

[funkycatbruh]

pick & roll | LA Lakers - one shot (jjk)

point guard | jeon jungkook

♛ genre: (18+) friends with benefits, brother’s bestfriend (ft. kim namjoon) | heavy angst, smut

♛ summary: being one of the most popular players in the nba, jungkook takes absolutely no shit from anybody. he could give a fuck about the press, what people think about him, serious relationships. it’s a personal hell getting wrapped up with jeon jungkook— and you can’t help but fall into the same trap as every other woman who crosses paths with him. the more you fall, the more you realize that you will never be able to change a man who doesn’t want to change his ways.

♛ pairing: reader x nba player!jjk, fuckboy!jjk

♛ words: 19.2k

♛ warnings: buckle in cause you’re in for a treat 🤧 this is going to be messy and it’s intended to be that messy sorry lol, tried to make this as relatable as possible by drawing from personal experiences and sprinkling them in 🥲, tattooed jungkook but no piercings cause nba rules 😅 cussing/mature language, special appearances by (former) lakers dj & stanley + clippers jay, subtle hints of namjoon’s fic through oc 👀, there’s one mention of taehyung in here haha, lots of flashback scenes (indicated), alcohol consumption, intoxication, club scenes, dancing, protected + unprotected sex, rough sex, squirting, head game on 100 (oral m. & f. receiving), gagging, multiple orgasms, light spit play, breast play, marking, making out, grinding, ass smacking, fingering/clit play, praising, some dirty talk, use of pet names (like baby, princess, babygirl), erotic asphyxiation, toxic, manipulative (emotional) relationship **(pls heed with caution)**, accusations, rumors, crying, yelling, physical altercation, jungkook is just a selfish dick on a power trip

♛ one-shot playlist: met him last night - demi lovato & ariana // start a riot - duckwrth & shaboozey // act up - rich brian & earthgang // toxic - kehlani // nights like this (live) - kehlani

Keep reading

[funkycatbruh]

felt like his sleeve also deserved a good appreciation post. 😌

[funkycatbruh]

Progress Notes

Pairing: Surgeon!Eren x Nurse!Reader

Synopsis: You are having fun, trying new things and meeting other people while Eren disproves the saying, "Out of sight, out of mind."

Warning: Minor angst

Word Count: 1370

2 of 3

The northeastern ocean is a paradise.

You’ve only seen the beaches on pamphlets and in Pinterest and you’re glad to see that it is just as beautiful as it was in the picture, maybe even more.

Padding around your cottage, enjoying the warm hardwood floor as the salty ocean breeze brushes your hair from your shoulder.

You rest your arms on the railings.  A bunch of people were already in the water despite it being two in the afternoon and the sun was high up in the sky.  You can’t wait to do so too.  But first, you needed that coconut juice with the tiny umbrella.

You glance at the shawl you draped on your bed.  Then you whipped around to see your full reflection in the mirror.  Your eyes linger on your insecurities but you let them wander on your other assets.

And just like that, you choose to exit your cottage in your swimwear alone.  Well, with your oversized sunglasses for extra effect and your pretty little beach sandals.

Eyes turned to your direction when you made your way into the minibar on the beach.  And you cannot lie, it felt pretty darn good.

The person manning the bar turns to you with a smile and you ask for the drink you wanted.  You carried the entire coconut—as the drink was served in one—on the seat facing the beach and you took a sip from the curled straw.

You sigh in contentment.  You never get this kind of freshness in Paradis.

“Hey.”

You pause mid-sip to look up the person who called your attention.

A kind looking man with a bunch of freckles smiles shyly at you.

“Hey.”  You say back to him.  “Can I help you?”

He chuckles.  “Nah.  I was just wondering if you can share your table with me.”

You glance around the nearly empty bar and to the seat in front of you.

And Historia’s words echo in your head.

“Sure!”

 “Great.”  He beams at you.  “Tourist?”

You laugh awkwardly.  “Am I that obvious?”

“Oh, no.  No.”  He smiles apologetically.  “It’s just, I come here often to surf and I never saw you before.”

You smile at him, not really knowing how to respond.  Your social awkwardness is a congenital defect.

He smiles back at you before his eyes widen.  “Sorry, was that weird?  It’s not that I spy on people.  I just watch people like a normal amount.”  He says hurriedly.  “I’m normal.” 

Ah.  A person who is just as awkward as you.

“Please, sit down.”  You laugh.

He gladly does so.  “Thanks.”  He places his drink on the table.  “I’m Marco, by the way.”

You extend a hand for him to shake, which he does.  “Y/N.”

You sip on your coconut and stare off in the waves as you did not bring your phone along with you.

“So, Y/N.  Where are you from?”

You wipe your lips.  “Paradis.  You?”

He smiled.  “Also from Paradis but I moved here two years ago to pursue surfing.”

“Oh?”  You asked, your interest piqued.

His chest puffs up a bit.  “Yup.  I join competitions and stuff and give lessons during my free time.  I can teach you if you want.  For free.”

You shift in your seat excitedly.  “Really?”  You always wanted to try surfing.

He nods as he sips his pineapple drink.  “We can meet around four, that’s when the waves usually come in.  I could even bring you a board.”

“That sounds perfect, Marco.”

Eren Jaeger was never bothered by the freezing temperature of the theater.

But this feels rather different.

“Allis.”  He says with his hand waiting and his brows twitch when it took solid five seconds before the instrument was put on his hand.

“If this continues, we’ll be here till midnight.”  He says impatiently.

“Sorry Doc, I usually work in laparoscopic procedures.”  The scrub one nurse smiles sheepishly.

Eren looks up upon hearing a different voice.  He was wondering as to why you’re being too quiet, as it turns out, you’re not even there with him. 

“Where’s Y/L/N?”  He asks as he scans the entire theater for you.

“Not here.”  The circulating nurse says rather aloofly.

Eren glances at her.  “Reiss, is it?”  He asks the circulating nurse.

“That’s right, doc.”  She says, her posture stiff as she hugs the clipboard close to her.  She was shorter than most but she’s staring him down.

“Would you mind telling me where my usual scrub nurse is?”  Eren asked calmly, not even looking at her as he pulled on a tough tissue.

Historia hesitates for a moment.  “She’s-”

“She’s out having the best time of her life and potentially kissing hot lifeguards.”  Ymir, the scrub two nurse says.

Eren pauses and the scrub one nurse looks at him in apprehension but Eren quickly resumes the operation and looks as nonchalant as ever.  “Good for her.”

“Sure.”  Ymir grins.  “By the amount of rejection she gets from you, it’s only fair if she gets laid from time to time.  Right, Doc?”

All eyes fall on Eren.

“Focus on the operation.”

They all share knowing glances and resume their work.

Marco was really patient with you despite you messing up much too often.

“I just can’t get it right.”  You say frustratingly. 

He just smiled kindly.  “It’s because you’re too stiff.  Try to loosen your hips and bend your knees a bit.”

You look and see a big wave coming.  “Alright, I’ll try again.”

Marco raises his thumbs and beams at you.  “You got this!”

But as soon as you stand, you manage to stay on the board for a few seconds before falling on your back on the water.

You sink and you look up to see the board floating, with an obscured image of a worried Marco next to it.  You swim up and rest your elbows on the board.

“That was better.”  He grins.  He’s being too kind.  That was simply horrible.  “Wanna try again?”

By the end of the day, you feel like your entire body is sore, but at least you can say that you know how to surf now.  Albeit, poorly.

You and Marco eat at a grill house.  Your treat of course, it’s your way of saying ‘thank you’ as he refused any monetary payment.

“Why is the food so much better here?  We never get tuna this fresh in Paradis.”  You groan while dipping one in hot soy sauce that the owners made themselves.

“Paradis has good seafood too though.”  Marco says confused.

You nod as you swallow your food.  “But by the time it reaches the city, it’s frozen.”

Marco just watches you eat, a small smile on his lips.

“What?”  You ask with a small chuckle, feeling slightly conscious.

He blinks and a tint of red spreads on his cheeks and he starts playing with the decorative seashell.

“Nothing.  It’s just, you’re…well, you’re really pretty.”

You pause.  “Oh, thank you.”  You smile widely.  Should you compliment him too?  What should you say in these situations?

“Well, I know you’re not interested in me in that way but I did enjoy our time this afternoon.  And if you’re not too busy tomorrow, what do you say about coming with me and my friends to scuba dive?”

You’re not doing anything important tomorrow.  Scuba diving sounds pretty fun too.  And it’s good that he is sensitive to your feelings, he knows where he stands.

The idea of being liked is something you quite enjoyed as it was always you who is being rejected.  But you didn’t like the thought of hanging out with him with that kind of mindset installed in your head.

And as much as you like trying new stuff, you think it’s better that you don’t spend two days together in a row.  Just to keep things casual.

You want to focus on yourself first. 

Besides, you can’t stress about guys right now, you’re on a vacation.

And you have enough stress waiting for you back in Paradis, and that stress comes in the form of a 183 centimeters tall general surgeon who is currently trying to come to terms with his feelings inside the Hospital parking lot for an hour now.

Doctor's Order • Progress Notes • Coming Soon