fuckingqueershit

[fuckingqueershit]

recovery

summer always makes me feel better, always. every summer i become certain my mental illness was fake and i made it up, that im actually better.

i had this silly little dream that i would truly be healed and i could get really good grades in school in autumn.  there was also this stipend for someone who raised their grades regardless of their personal problems and for a moment i thought i could get that.

i think thats why it hit so much harder when all of a sudden i started forgetting things and losing touch to reality. today i heard someone walking in my house when i was alone, i went trough my house with a knife only to find out the house is empty, im just hearing things once again. im starting not to know which of my memories are dreams or lies or stories again. that has just been a big problem recently, cus experiences like that have caused me to lose myself so many times, and also its difficult to live happily while not even being sure if youre awake.

[fuckingqueershit]

what i ate today?

 breakfast: 302cl

1 apple 52cl

2 croissants (ew) 250cl

lunch: 540cl

burger 280cl

fries 200cl

coke 60cl

dinner:  650

pancake 250cl

icecream 400cl

snacks: 220cl

2 oreos 100cl

4 pieces of chocolate 120cl

that equals 1712 and i disgust myself

i burned 400 ish calories so my net calories are something like 1312 (ACAB) and thats legit disgusting. today was a bad day in so many ways lol, i had to go out to eat lunch with my dad and my family wouldve been suspicious if i didnt eat pancakes. ew

[fuckingqueershit]

Reblog if you’re pro recovery. Whether you’re in it or not

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why is there such comfort in sadness and hunger

being happy doesnt feel safe

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help needed!

hey guys! I'm not even thinking about my ed besides this, I just have a question. my fitness pal is telling me I get way too little vitamins and iron and fiber and protein even on days where I'm eating normally without being able to restrict at all. I am vegetarian, almost vegan and my daily protein amount has never been completed. what should I do to that? (I also reached my original gw today!! i lowered it a while ago but hey, small success!)

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Listen. Do it for the aesthetic. If you want to fill an entire 20 dollar sketchbook with anatomy drawings fucling do it. If you wanna get lost in the woods and come stumbling home with a bag of dried mushrooms and bones you go goblin dude. You aren't alive to go to work and hurt!! You're alive because bumblebees bump into little flowers and dandelions only open up in the sun! You're alive because cats purr when you pet them and coffee keeps you up all night!! Do everything for the aesthetic!!

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mutuals if i like your negative posts please just imagine me patting u on the back comforting you, not like i actually like that you’re hurt

[fuckingqueershit]

When Ana accounts say “stay safe!” they don’t mean “just eat”, we know better than anyone that that doesn’t work

They mean drink water, take your vitamins, don’t overwork yourself on a fast day, don’t push your body farther than it can go

They know you won’t magically get better, but they do know there are things you can do to make this horrible illness a little better

[fuckingqueershit]

Not your usual Ana tips

Read the post before you get pissed off at me.

• Stop standing up so fast. You know damn well that you get dizzy from that, so stand up slowly. If you still get dizzy or start to black out, sit back down and take deep breaths until you go back to normal, and then try to stand up slowly again.

• Don’t work out until you pass out or puke. Just walk. It burns a lot calories and it’s much easier to do. I do this instead of working out and I lose up to 3 lbs a day sometimes.

• Sleep (if you can). Your body is tired as fuck. You don’t eat very much and sleeping will help re-energize you.

I won’t tell you to eat. I know a stupid tumblr post won’t suddenly make your disorder go away. I just want you to try your best to stay safe. Believe it or not, I love you. We’re a big family and we would all feel like shit if you died because of this. If you ever get the urge to recover, take it and run.

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yep same

Reblog if you are insecure about anything below:

-weight

-appearance

-intelligence (or lack of) 

-skills (or lack of) 

-weird hobbies

-friends (or lack of) 

-body

-personality

-family

Who ever reblogs this will get a message in their inbox.

[fuckingqueershit]

what i ate today?

breakfast: 151cl

two pieces of rye bread: 51cl

hummus, chicken and cucumber on it: 100cl

lunch: 246cl

egg: 66cl

chicken: 100cl

potato: 80cl

dinner: 350cl

salmon: 200cl

potatoes: 150cl

snacks: 100cl

two pieces of rye bread with hummus: 100cl

so that makes like 847 calories which is okay ig lol

[fuckingqueershit]

just a check in!<3

how are yall feeling? if you have anything to say, or if you need help, maybe just company, reply it to this post! im always here to listen and talk to yall <3

[fuckingqueershit]

what i ate today?

breakfast: 

two pieces of rye bread 90cl

hummus 50cl

vegan youghurt 79cl

0,5 banana 44cl

= 263cl

lunch:

spaghetti 100cl

vegan pasta sauce 80cl

=180cl

dinner:

instant ramen 72cl

egg 74cl

1 piece of rye bread 45cl

vegan cheese 20cl

piece of cucumber 10cl

= 221cl

snacks:

3 cups of black coffee: 3cl

= 3cl

so that makes 667cl? thats okay + i carried heavy stuff for like 2h at work today. i am feeling disgustingly full from the ramen but i guess the calorie amount makes it a little better, my net calories r probably like 400cl. i hope you all have a nice day, maybe comment this with what you ate! love yall <3

[fuckingqueershit]

pls gimme hacks to restrict around parents lol

my parents are just constantly watching me and i always eat with them so its literally impossible, help is appreciated!

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what i ate today? (except its actually something pls meanspo)

breakfast (was massive tf??):

2 pieces of rye bread 90cl

hummus 30cl

vegan cheese 50cl

1 egg 74cl

vegan yoghurt 79cl

0,5 banana 42cl

= 365cl??? ew

skipped lunch

dinner:

spaghetti 100cl

vegan pasta sauce  30cl

=130cl

snacks: 

glass of smoothie 40cl

rye bread with hummus 120cl

=160cl

and that equals uhhh 655 ig?

ok tbh i was feeling rly bad about the breakfast but 700 is my limit and im under it, didnt even think about the sports ive done so its fine ig

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hey! im just starting here

i am 15 years old, like 5.4 tall and weight about 114. im trying to get to like 100 lbs but its difficult cause my parents are around like a lot, and they like to eat all kinds of gross shit. as an example today i had to eat two small pieces of cake or they wouldve killed me.

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yay

ED Playlist:

Oh Ana - Mother Mother

Monsters (feat. Killstation) - Hollywood Undead

Asleep - The Smiths

Becomes The Color - Emily Wells

Blanket - Oh, Be Clever

Body - Mother Mother

Broken - Lund

Control - Amarante

Dark of My Imagination - of Verona

Daydreaming - Radiohead

Deep End Freestyle - Sleepy Hallow & Fousheé

Depraved - Mammals

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

A Drowning - How to Destroy Angels

Elephant Woman - Blonde Redhead

Endgame - Ride

Especially Me - Low

Fade Away - Trevor Something

Father - Odina

How - The Neighborhood

Lies - Marina and the Diamonds

Play Dead - Björk

Please Eat - Nicole Dollanganger

Saving Us a Riot - Phoria

Sign of the Times - Harry Styles

Torso - Grouplove

We Were Never Young - Raised by Swans

White Blood - Oh Wonder

No Mercy Unplugged - Kit