frillydoomsday - Tumblr blog

[frillydoomsday]

At least I brushed my teeth before;

Lipstick on my vape

Klonopin™ in my coffee

earbuds volume high

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The Pre-Raphaelite Pothole, Terrace Road, St. Leonards-on-sea; part of the Great Art, Great Potholes series by SinkySnap. (x)

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taillow and razz berries

// full illustration for @pokepocketzine, a tiny pokémon fanzine

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Alright! i added in the blast effect after the player dashes!! idk if i like it tho.. it is quite small and it goes of screen very quickly altho i do want the range of the dash to be smaller so if i can do that you will be able to see the full animation of the firework explosion!

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'How dare you try to groom my child into your set of beliefs!?! Now hang up that copy of the Ten Commandments, please.'

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Not Hozier posting his male living space

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For me, coming out was dropping a match my family dared me never to light.

Unspoken rules, gender neutrality in the vacuum of my bedroom.

Like a pine tree that's safe base in a game of tag.

Expected only to perform masculinity when crucial to save face.

An act I always feigned incompetence of as if my knees were too weak to lift their burden.

It was their problem. Never mine.

Then..

when I was ready...

I struck the match..

and the fire was lit underneath me.

Six months of scrutiny. Six months of me feigning apology while stoking the fire until it was a control burn.

Six months of hell on a church pew.

I lit a torch. I swallowed too many of the pills that were left in my reach, and finally after quietly burning I fucking screamed.

An ambulance. A hospital bed. A psychiatric ward in a state left in a state of designed obsolescence to prevent unwanted people from finding their footholds.

The wrong overpaid doctor. The right underpaid social worker, with a list of the underground that provided essential care to a girl mistaken as a boy who became too soon a woman.

A list of people doing their job in an GULF of people looking the other way, swimming against the current if they have to.

I laid down the torch at a lighthouse that guided me to potential.

Not perfection, but hope.

The current state of the States of Mississippi and Alabama that never once looked our way until we became a useful villain to scare the people we call family, friends and neighbors...

Would now charge the physicians, psychologists, counselors and even the people "related to me" that had nothing to do with me...

...with felony charges that would end in years in a prison. Strip them of the licenses that grant their knowledge and their wisdom work.

For being the only ones holding onto my hand while I was on fire before I drowned in a man made flood.

They put the choice in my hand.

Spironolactone. Twice daily. To pause the unwanted heights I was afraid of reaching, confused for something I never was or would ever be.

Comparatively to a belly full of all the pills that weren't gate kept.

All or nothing.

Now, I have my cake and I eat it too.

I was far too young to make the choices to had to make for medical health. For mental healthcare. For my basic necessities.

However, there were still options that nobody could take away and I took them.

You can't turn a butterfly into a beatle by thumping the chrysalis and demanding the wings turn black and harden.

You can only squeeze the cocoon until what could have been starts dripping through your fingers.

Blood staining your hand.

There's waiting until they're ready,

There's waiting until it's too late,

There's denying all the time they had left to live.

However with the oxymoronic nature of life, inaction is still a choice.

Just take my example, if you choose to stand still...

We won't.

[frillydoomsday]

Trans woman. 26. Skin I can finally show in comfort.

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good morning to this tree by the riverside and this tree only

(müggelspree, germany)

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You're just a mammal. Let yourself act like it. Your brain needs enrichment. Your body needs rest. You feel hunger and grow hair. You need to pack bond with other sentient things so you don't become unsocialized and neurotic. You are biologically inclined to seek dopamine and become sick when chronically stressed. "Hedonism" is made up to place moral value on taking pleasure in sensory experiences. I am telling you that if you don't let yourself be a fucking mammal, as you were made, you will suffer and go insane. No grindset no diets no trying to be above your drive for connection. Pursue what makes you feel good and practice radial rejection of the constructs meant to turn you into a machine. You're a mammal.

[frillydoomsday]

Source: The Case Of The Not-So-Nice Nurse - Art by Susan Synarski