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You Say Hello and I Say... Hello

Enter office. Walk to front desk. Say hello and politely ask question. With a smile and eye-contact, be given answer. Go about business. Move on with life.

Unfortunately today I noticed that the scenario I just described is more centered in illusion than reality. When I approached the student-secretary at the front desk of my school's History department, I received less than civil treatment. She did not even acknowledge me while I was standing there, rather her eyes were glued to her computer screen. It was a significant amount of time before she grumbled, "Can I help you?" and shot me a quick glance of annoyance, as if I was at fault for interrupting her. Although I was a little perturbed by the rudeness, I smiled and asked her my question. With her eyes glued back to her screen before I had even started to speak, she gave me a weak reply. And that was that.

Now, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. I understand being under pressure or having a bad day. Everyone experiences those things, and yes, they are impetuses to make someone short or a little cranky. However, acting this way is probably just going to make you feel more bitter in the end, and the person on the other end of your conversation probably did nothing to deserve the treatment. Now, that's in the context of any situation, not just a work one. 

If you are in a professional position in which you deal with people and questions, I feel it is crucial to at least be polite and respectful, if not outright amiable. You represent the establishment you work for, and if you turn-off a person immediately, that could turn them off to being there in the first place. Granted, the student I encountered today probably realized I had to be there no matter how she treated me, but that really should not make a difference. If the person or customer is treating you with respect, you should do the same. And above all things, at least look up and acknowledge the person is there. I'm sure he or she would not mind if you ask them nicely to just hold on one second or have a seat. Why does everyone seem to have such a hard time remembering that simple golden rule, treat others the way you wish to be treated!

Having a little respect in a professional (or personal) situation can only have positive effects on those around you and yourself. There is nothing to lose from a little eye-contact or a friendly greeting. Bad days come and go, but a reputation of disrespectfulness is hard to shake off, so smile, say hello, and hopefully you will be treated courteously in return. 

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A Word on Style

"Less is more, with the following exceptions: good manners, thread count, self-deprecation, and real knowing."

- Carol Edgarian

A little piece of wisdom from an awesome article my roommate shared with me today. Edgarian testifies to the key of class: self-confidence in who you are and how you represent yourself to others.

Keep Reading... http://www.wmagazine.com/fashion/2011/04/carol_edgarian_personal_style?currentPage=1

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Never a Lender or Borrower Be

Firstly, I want to apologize for my lack of posts. I know it's been over a month, and that's completely unacceptable. However, I think a positive of this is that no one's behavior has driven me to the point of criticizing them ruthlessly, so maybe the world is changing for the better?

Or maybe not. Today I want to talk about "borrowers." No, I don't mean the book (great read... seriously, a 3rd grade top 5), and no, I'm not really referring to people who ask to borrow something maybe once or twice and then return it in perfect condition. I'm talking about the "serial" borrowers. 

Everyone knows one. The friend who constantly "borrows" your food without paying you back, borrows your clothes without offering to wash them, borrows your laptop for hours, or tries to mooch anything else she or he can.

If you absolutely need to borrow something from a friend and your friend agrees to let you (warning: this is under the pretexts that 1. you have friends and 2. they actually trust you), let me lay down the law. Firstly, whatever you borrow you should return in a reasonable amount of time and in the exact condition you received it. I'll explain. When I say a "reasonable amount of time," yes I am implying you have to use common sense and your judgement to decide what this exactly would be. To make it even simpler for those of you who would struggle with those concepts, borrow the item, use it for its intended use asap, and then return it as soon as you are done with it. For example, if borrowing a piece of clothing, you cannot let it sit in your closet for days. Wear it for to the event you wish to wear it to and then immediately offer to wash it after. Usually the lender won't mind washing it themselves, but not offering to do so and handing the person back a piece of dirty clothing just makes you seem ungracious. Plus, they probably won't want to lend you something again because you did not show concern for the item's condition - and let's be honest, that'd be tragic if your friend has especially cute clothes.

Of course, some things are impossible to return in the former state. The most common example being food. Taking a candy bar or something from your friend once or twice is fine, but if you "borrow" food constantly from them, it will eventually get under their skin. In this case, try a little something called compensation (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/compensation - definition #3... you're welcome). Offer to buy the person a replacement box or bag of whatever you ate, or maybe return the favor by seeing if they would like any snacks you have. Usually, as I said before, even the act of offering to make up for whatever you took satisfies the other person; sometimes these situations just boil down to showing that you are gracious and considerate of the other person's generosity, and you are willing to act the same. 

The next thing I'm about to say is pretty harsh but life's tough, get a helmet. In case you missed grades kindergarten - 4th, let me state for the record: Borrowing something without asking is stealing. Yes, stealing is a harsh word, especially if you do have the intention to return the item, but technically it's true. It may be a small thing like printing on someone else's printer once, taking a piece of jewelry just to wear one night, or taking a peek at someone else's notes, but if you do not have the person's permission, that really isn't right. Also, people tend to get into the habit of doing this, thinking that a little thing here or there is ok, but these things add up over time. If you fall into this habit, you will eventually not even realize you're doing it, and this could lead to some more serious problems with friends or family.

Do not be afraid to ask to borrow something if you have good intentions, just make sure to act appropriately in the item's return or in compensating for the item. Also, honesty is always the best policy (yes, this post referenced a lot of grammar school wisdom - but I don't hate it).

Stay Classy.

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Clinton Kelly.

If you take a gander at the little box on the right, you'll notice this blog is written in the spirit of "classy individuals." Well, I did have some people in mind when I wrote that, and tonight I was lucky and PRIVILEGED enough to get to hear the man who really inspired me to start writing these little lessons in the first place speak.

I'm talking about the one and only Clinton Kelly, ladies and gentlemen.

                   If you just opened a new window so that you could type that name into google when you finished reading this post, you can take your little gym-sneakers-and-light-wash-jeans-combo-wearing-self and jump off a building. Seriously.

I'm assuming if you are still reading this you know who I am talking about. I started watching Clinton's show on TLC, "What Not to Wear," years ago with my mom. Let me tell you, not only did he make my mother the best dressed mom around, but he ingrained into my head a thing or two about style as well. But Clinton did not appeal to me just because he was a relatively-sarcastic style guru (sound like someone?), but because he actually is a really intelligent guy. The message he tells women over and over again on the show is not that he is "fixing" them, but that he is helping them so that they can actually portray to others the message they want to portray - that they are smart, sexy, confident, outgoing, and generally fabulous ladies. I know it sounds corny, but listen to the guy speak for 5 minutes. I don't think that there is a shrink out-there who could make a woman feel better about herself than Clinton can do in 5 minutes by squeezing her into a pair of straight-leg dark wash jeans and giving her a pump up speech or two.

I admire Clinton, because he said tonight that he would not trade his life for any other one. He stressed the importance of not taking life too seriously, and said the reason he loved his so much is because there "is a belly-laugh everyday." (What a great way to express happiness, right?). He continued to say do not stress about your life, because you have enough time to accomplish anything you might want to. He himself, after journalism school, magazine writing, and television, is now in the process of producing a musical! I think it is pretty clear that he has his priorities straight when it comes to tailored suit jackets AND life philosophy. 

I have read both of Clinton's books, Oh No She Didn't (top 100 style mistakes women make) and Freakin' Fabulous. The latter is a book dealing with modern etiquette, from how to dress to how to speak and eat. Of course I am a die-hard Emily Post fan, but Clinton's book was really what inspired me to put a fresh spin on etiquette...with the occasional light sarcastic jab (he himself is rather fond of this technique as well).

Being in the same room with the Jesus Christ of acting appropriately (Emily Post being the Almighty One obviously), I could not resist to ask him what his particular etiquette pet peeve was. I really think we had a moment. Our eyes locked, and he said he can't stand the use of electronics at inappropriate times. For example, he said when he was having dinner with a certain person on "Dancing with the Stars" (he wouldn't say whom), the person texted throughout the meal! Not only did that person have the gaul to text at the dinner table, but to honestly make it seem as if she or he wanted to be speaking to someone else besides Clinton Kelly is outrageous.

Finally, a word of warning from Clinton about the state of the universe that I feel I should relate to you. In response to a question about his feelings towards "Pajama Jeans," Clinton said the first time he saw the commercial, he pictured the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse charging toward him...

I think you all can understand why the man is my hero. Make him yours. 

[forkontheleftside-blog]

Tights vs. Leggings

Maybe I am crazy, but for the longest time I've noticed a travesty besetting the female population. Girls do not know the difference between tights and leggings. True, this issue might not rival disarmament or world peace, but it is enough to make me gag on my way to class. So, for the sake of my esophagus, let me try to help you ladies help yourselves next time you're reaching into your dresser drawer. 

Firstly, a little distinguishing between these two garments. NO, they are neither interchangeable words nor items of clothing themselves. Tights are thin, sheerish, and there is a significant difference between the top of a pair of tights and the leg. The top is more closely woven, thus creating a notable difference in appearance at say, top of the thigh level. Tights are usually made with delicate fabrics such as silk or thin nylon (hint: fabrics underwear are often made with).

Leggings, however, are one straight color all the way through, much thicker, and are made of sturdier fabrics than tights, like cotton or spandex (hint: fabrics that manypants are made with). Also, one last distinction, leggings usually are "footless" while tights have "feet."

Ok, so maybe just by clearing up the differences I've already saved some lost souls. But for the sake of the argument, let me continue with why mixing these garments can lead to disaster. Waaayy too many times (i.e. more than once) have I seen a girl's underwear because she chose to wear tights with a tunic top (or even worse, regular length shirt) as opposed to leggings. Ladies, ladies, ladies...if you can see the top of the tights where they are woven more tightly, guess what - whatever you are wearing on top is way to short. Oh, and also, I'm...ehh...about 100% sure people can see your underwear/butt. 

I don't want to see your underwear. And I definitely do not want to see whatever else you got going on in your trunk either. 

Fortunately, there is a foolproof way to rectify this potentially embarrassing situation. It's called "having friends." Contrary to popular belief, friends aren't just for painting your toenails with, french braiding each other's hair, and eating junk food which you'll immediately regret while watching a Rom-Com. There better-served purpose is, in fact, to be brutally honest with you in regards to your general looks and appearance. So, next time you throw on what you think are a pair of "leggings," turn around and have your friend take a peek. If she immediately looks away in disgust/pity or asks you if you do indeed "Love Pink," than you might want to rethink your legging/tight wearing ways.

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Study Lounges... are for Studying

We've all been there. It's 10:30 at night, you have 2 papers due the next day, and suddenly you hear...

BUZZ

BUZZZZZ

BUZZZZZZZZ

...someone's phone is obnoxiously vibrating on the table. You first give them the benefit of the doubt since they obviously weren't on their phone before. They pick it up, answer their text, and go back to working. And then, there it is again! BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ. The person begins to have a conversation via text, but refrains from completely silencing their phone. Every time it vibrates (or god forbid - actually beeps), you and every other person in the lounge are privileged enough to learn that there is someone in the universe who actually seems to want to converse with this obnoxious phone-non-silencer (I'd be shocked too).

And that's just the beginning of it. Study lounges harbor the rudest of rude: the vid-chatters, the phone talkers, the loudmouths and the complainers. Newsflash everyone, study lounges are well...for studying. Weird I know, it's not like their name implies that or anything. 

The other day I myself was in the lounge trying to do work when someone decided it'd be the perfect time and place to video chat, that's right, video chat with their mom about the roommate whom they hated. First of all, bad-mouthing people in a public place in front of a group of strangers that could potentially know the person you are talking about - not a good idea. And definitely not classy, but that's for another post. This girl did not even put headphones in when she was video chatting! So as much as you would think I was overjoyed to hear every bit of her conversation with her mom while I was trying to read Virgil...I wasn't. 

Basically, if you want to video chat with someone or talk on the phone, take it outside the room. Sit in the hall like every polite person would do and try a revolutionary voice technique called "using your indoor voice." Also, if you're texting, that's fine, but keep your phone on silent as courtesy to everyone else. You may be waiting anxiously for every text that that really cute boy sends you, but no one else in the room is, believe me. 

                          Also, loudly complaining about the work you have to do to the rest of the room won't actually make your work go away. It will, instead, just make everyone hate you. And then not only will you still have a ton of work to do, but you'll also have no friends to help you with it. We all go to college, we all have homework to do, and that's why we are in the study lounge in the first place. Classy ladies and gents know when it's time to buckle down and get their work done, and they also understand that everyone else is probably stressed out about their work as well. Reminding people that "school is hard" isn't going to make anyone feel better. 

So, I think it is obvious, but for the sake of repetition: when in the study lounge, try to be quiet and courteous to those around you. If you want to talk with someone, leave the room. Happy Studying. 

[forkontheleftside-blog]

Valentine's Day

Since I don't live under a rock, I'm well aware of the fact that today is Valentine's Day (or the Beanpot championship if you live in Boston - go Eagles!... anywayy)

This day has some connotations, and whether they are negative or positive, that's up to you. Personally, a classy lady like myself does not want to trash talk the day... but I have no problem critiquing how people act on it.

Alright, ladies and gents, whether you're single or in a relationship (or engaged or married or it's complicated or whatever you decided to declare on facebook), there are appropriate ways to celebrate Feb 14th, and then there are ways just to make everyone hate you. So couples and singles alike, listen up.

Couples

    If you are in a relationship or dating, that's great. However, people might not think it's so great if you both are sitting in a public place decked out in red sucking each other's faces off. Intense public displays of affection are just not classy, whether its the "day of love" or not. Try to keep it cute, try to keep it clean, and before you're about to display your affection for all to behold, ask yourself - if I saw someone else doing this, would I want to punch them in the face? If the answer is yes, go for an interlocked hand hold and call it a day.

Singles

Valentine's day might make you feel like a Jewish kid on Christmas, but there is no need to let everyone know how bitter you are because of it. No one likes a whiner, and hearing someone complain about how Valentine's day just makes them feel depressed or alone or fat/ugly actually makes them seem unattractive. Classy ladies (and gents for that matter) act confidently, not jealously. Valentine's day is about celebrating love, and it doesn't have to be the romantic kind. Be grateful for family, for friends, and for the fact that all candy tastes better when it's heart-shaped, whether Prince Charming bought it for you or you bought it for yourself.

**A NOTE ABOUT THE "WHO PAYS" DILEMMA**

Much of the confusion that revolves around dating, and thus Valentine's Day, is the often ambiguous question of who the heck is supposed to pay on a date. In today's modern world, there is a huge emphasis on gender equality. However, some women still feel strongly about the "man pays" rule, while other women are insulted if a man thinks she does not want to pay her share. The following tips are summarized from Emily Post's Etiquette 17th Edition, and I think they are a helpful start in addressing this issue.

-On a first date, the person who asks the other on the date should pay unless both parties agree in advance to share expenses. 

-If a date just "happens" and it is unclear who asked whom, it is not unreasonable to suggest splitting the cost. Also, one person could offer to pay for another part of the date to even things out. For example, one person buy dinner while the other suggests to purchase movie tickets. 

-If the other person clearly intends to pay, do not make an issue of it. Always offer (and be prepared by bringing cash or a credit card) but do not be pushy about the matter. There are few things less classy than arguing over money in public. 

Happy Valentine's Day <3. 

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P.S. “Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” -Emily Post

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Cordial Greetings

Welcome to Fork on the Left! A site that will be dedicated to keeping things classy one post at a time.

Perhaps I should explain why I am taking on the grave task of trying to keep things classy in a world where, quite honestly, chivalry might be dead and girls are running around with their bra straps showing, among other heinous crimes. 

In my house growing up, there was a large, antique book sitting on our bookshelf. My mother would read this book regularly, both to herself and to others, especially right before important celebrations. My mother was a dedicated follower to the beliefs preached in the book, and I know she spent years committing to memory many a passage. It was only natural that my mother's faith found its way into my politely listening ears. I found that I too became a follower of the Great One herself, the almighty Emily Post. 

If you do not know who Emily Post is, well then you probably don't know a lot of things, like that holding the door is not optional when someone is right behind you, tights and leggings are not interchangeable clothing items, and being generally obnoxious and dumb is just not ok. Well, that is basically what this site is all about. I am dedicating myself to spreading the Good News to all of you, the ignorant. 

May the spirit of Emily Post be with you all. Now let's get classy.