fool3

[fool3]

I prayed to God last night. For the first time in a LONG time. I don't even believe in God, but if he was real he would've heard me. So my friends could get married, so my friends don't have to stick a coat hanger inside of them, and so my friends don't kill themselves.

But I guess God prefers the prayers for a rapist pedophile to run a country.

[fool3]

The sun is my friend, a very good one too

He doesn't suspect, but my feelings are true

Through his beauty and light, he is but a sight

That has made my heart anew.

But when Spring turns to Summer

And I hope with light rain and thunder

The sun will leave.

Through August and November

I lay out of slumber

And contemplate, and grieve

As I rain.

For I love the sun, but he not me

Perhaps if I were one, he would love me.

[fool3]

Going through my journey of druidity I am reading my book and come to a peculiar question I have to ask myself. On page 46 of the book The Druid Path: A Modern Tradition of Nature and Spirituality by John Michael Greer it begins Chapter 4: The One Life. Here it talks about how life is not an accidental chemical process that is there in some and absent in others, and all things are connected through a life force called nwfre (noo-iv-ruh). This to me is very interesting, as I've thought in the past that life was an accident, that there is no real purpose to it, and that things like life energy was ridiculous. But perhaps I need to reshape my frame of mind. All of these things can still be true. There is biological life, where to live one must have order, response to stimuli, reproduction, growth and development, regulation, homeostasis, and energy processing. But spiritual life I guess is something different. The earth may not have biological life, but perhaps it has a spiritual one, that can speak or move my mind in ways. Same thing with rocks or water. But I still have questions. Does my water bottle have spiritual life? It's not nature. But in science, the law of conservation states that energy cannot be created nor destroyed, so perhaps we humans transfer some of our nwfre into the machines we make, and the machines into the objects they make. But also perhaps we humans cannot create life that is not of our own species, so I think that if it is man-made, it does not have nwfre. However I could be incorrect in this, for the book says, "All the ways you relate to the world of nature around you are, among other things, ways that you are in contact with the One Life. The air that you breathe, the water that you drink, the food that you eat, the material things that you interact with, and above all, the living things, human and otherwise, that are part of you're life." - Greer 52. So what I'm getting at is that all things have the energy of life, nwfre, but not all are alive, and that goes back to the biological side of things.

Part 3 coming soon.

[fool3]

This school year I joined a philosophy club and I enjoy it very much. It's just started and we're getting our feet in the ground, but we've already discussed basic topics like the famous trolly problem.

I find philosophy in itself very interesting, although I'm not exactly sure in which I believe in, identifying myself as a man of science I gravitate towards a combination of existentialism and nihilism.

All this to say that when thrifting yesterday with my friends we went to Vintage Stock and I found the book The Druid Path: A Modern Tradition of Nature and Spirituality by John Michael Greer catch my eye. It's small and has a simple artistic cover which I really liked, and there really wasn't any reason not to pick it up and read it. Even if I decided that it wasn't for me, it would be a nice experience.

So far as I've read about the ancient history of druids and what it's all about, I gather that there aren't a select set of commandments or beliefs you need to follow to be a druid. It doesn't have to be your religion, many druids treat it as a philosophy or idea more than anything. And best of all, it's all inclusive. Anybody can be a druid, and you get to decide what you believe. All they have in common is an appreciation for wisdom and nature, and the wisdom that nature can teach us, and the beauty of it. Ancient druids wrote poems, tales, and myths about their findings. This all gravitates towards me immensely, because while I am a man of science, I think that my love for animals and plants can be on a deeper side than just the biological.

That is all, but there will probably be updates on my journey.

[fool3]

As an artist, as someone who has drawn since he was two years old, I hate AI. Everyone should know why, you've probably heard this spiel before, but I invite you to hear it again. I'm very young, I'm not even an adult yet, I have no idea where I'll be in twenty years but hopefully one path I take is illustration. I don't want to toot my own horn but I think that I'm pretty good, I've worked a lot on my skill and I'm very pleased with how far I've come. But it's not about doing this for a job, or because I want to be good, drawing legitimately calms me, distracts me. It gives me a chance to feel good about myself and what I'm doing, and allows me to dive deeper into subjects I love. That being said a job at it would be a dream, but in twenty years what if there is no job to be had? I see almost everyday AI created images on Pinterest, and AI all over Google images. There are actual people who believe that using AI makes them an artist, and what they use AI to create is art and is THEIR art. It insulting to actual artists who have practiced for years, struggled with self doubt and self image about their creations, but still kept doing it despite it all to see people like those comparing themselves to us. What makes it worse is that companies and even art contests will indulge their fantasies, because AI will always be faster and will always be cheaper.

Now as a human, not just an artist, I still hate AI. I see videos on the Internet advertising for AI note taking and AI essay and book writing and I absolutely despise these and the students that use them. How about you pick up a pencil and a paper and listen, write down what is being said or whats in front of your eyes until your wrists hurt. LEARN something for christ's sake. Soon entertainment, school, and all that is creative and good will be taken over by computers made by the humans that actually learned so that they can relax and stop learning.

[fool3]

Climate change-a rant

Climate change should not be political. It is not something that can be morally debated like abortion (though many pro-lifers ignore the science behind it) or religion. It's not apart of the social sciences or economic sciences. There is a right and a wrong side of your stance on whether it is real or not. There is empirical evidence that supports that the earth and it's atmosphere is rapidly warming due to humans excessive use of burning fossil fuels and releasing greenhouse gases. I cannot actually believe that people refuse to look at the millions of articles and papers written by actual scientists with actual degrees. In my English class today my teacher was talking about an early environmentalist and said 'if you don't believe in climate change, that's alright' like WHAT. I'm sorry, I didn't know you could just not believe in actual facts because you're ignorant ass doesn't want to look something up. Teachers you can tell students that they are actually wrong when it comes to science. If I was a teacher and I had a flat earther in my class I would absolutely tell him that he is wrong, because it's not political, it's not my opinion, it is just plain and simple facts.

[fool3]

I am a blue, chasing a red.

My blue, my other blue, is a perfect blue. This blue fits into me, connects with me, and loves me. And I love that blue too.

But the red, oh the red. It doesn't fit. The pieces don't connect, and it doesn't love me.

But the red makes me purple, and the butterflies in me purple. I await the red, feeling the terrible, exciting butterflies.

But I'll never be red, and they'll never be blue. But I can't help but want the purple, to want the red, with its sunset beauty.

But red will leave. To find it's own purple. And that's good, because I have my blue.

[fool3]

I've realized that most of my interested are involved in or have at least a little bit of escapism inside. I love acting, and I've never really asked myself why until now. I think it's because of the fantastical and outlandish things I get to do as someone else or even multiple people sometimes. The thought of being something completely different than yourself for even a minute in a strange or familiar place excites me. In fact I can't think of an example of any of the arts not having escapism, even in my comic book style illustrations it's a way to just forget about everything and let your hand move, creating whatever you want, and in that moment you are separate from the world you actually live in. Or if you're making art of something that already exists, like a character that you possibly love, it's a way to surround yourself and meet that character again in a new way, your way. It's the same with reference art, drawing something that does exist in the world. You can find escapism in reality just as easily as watching a television, look at things differently, think about how they were made or the idea behind them, and the new ideas in your head about them.

Things that I escape through in reality are animals. I've thought about why I like them so much but I still haven't come to a definite answer. It could be because they are some of the only things that remain of the world before humans, and that makes me happy. Perhaps it's their huge complexity, their cellular components all functioning together as machines in a machine. It's probably because humans are awful and boring, because I'm one and why would I want to learn more about myself, and looking into an unfamiliar duck's eye and seeing emotion and though, is so much more interesting than seeing it in a familiar human's. These bring me escape because it is a trip out of my world and into one I've never seen before. In a way this secret side of Earth is it's own fantasy land that I want to explore, with its own races and languages.

The last thing that I love the most (I can't decide if I love animals or this more) is Lord of the Rings. Before freshman year in high school I was a fan, I had watched the movies and loved them very much, but only perhaps as an average enjoyer. I got put in the class Reading for Pleasure and decided to take up the Hobbit because my mom and I were talking about it, I even bought my own copies. I read it in nine days and fell in love instantly. After reading the entire thing, I was already hooked, but going to the Hobbiton set in New Zealand, seeing where they filmed Gollum's Pool and the plains of Mordor, and crying while watching them just days after the trip filled me with more joy than I could ever imagine. Middle Earth to me is not just a place in a book with fun cool races, it is a world I think about every single day, full of courage and herosim and inspiration. It is hard to put to words how much I feel about this series, and reading the Silmarillian has only made it better. Just hearing Howard Shore's shire music brings tears to my eyes as I am transported to Bag End, and Bilbo's little Hobbit hole at the top of the hill. The history and world created by Tolkien is so rich that it is just REAL, it has inspired me to create and write things that make me feel the same way, and that is the ultimate escapism.

[fool3]

Two things lacking in children right now are compassion and curiosity

[fool3]

I often wonder if anything at all actually matters. And when I wonder this I think about school and money and art, and life itself. At the very end of my wondering I come to the conclusion that no it really doesn't matter, because we're all going to be melted by the Sun in how ever many years. That will happen with every other star, with every other planet and every other galaxy in the universe until it collapses into nothingness and we'll be right back where we started. My follow up question to myself after I've come to this conclusion is why do anything at all then? If nothing matters then why do I get up every morning or even keep living in the first place. And I really don't know. I don't see any point in going to school that's not just for surviving in a society that we made for no reason. Yes I like to learn I like to create but why is it the only way for people to live? And if you fail, there aren't really any second chances. And there definitely aren't second chances at life. It's unfair that if I don't get into college, or my parents can't afford school or can't even afford the knowledge to homeschool me then I'm stuck in a hole for the rest of my life until I die. I'm glad I succeed in school but why are the only limitations of a good life the ones that we created? And why create and teach something so full of greed and inequality? The finiteness of our lives should be a way to embrace love and the fun of the world around us while we still can, because it doesn't matter at all, so you might as well.

[fool3]

Why is there so much pressure in me to complete as many games as possible while I'm still young? This is trivial yes but I don't have much going on right now. Why do I feel like my enjoyment of beautiful things like videogames will die away when I'm in my thirties? They'll still be around, I'll still have time (I hope). I think it's because there's such a focus around your childhood being the best years of your life, and when it ends it becomes a fire pit of marching and order following. It really should be the other way around, and sometimes it feels that way with all the adults telling me what to do and where to go, but when I'm an adult I'll be able to buy my own time and my own games to play whenever I want. Videogames to me have become a time clock that if I don't do them now, I never will, and I need to get out of that thought process. It's really all about having fun and enjoying yourself, I'm not losing any respect for not having completed the Witcher 3, and I shouldn't lose any self respect because I spent over 1000 hours playing Fortnite with my friends in middle school. Yeah that's all.

[fool3]

Did you know that birds are technically reptiles? Of course they're not, they don't have scales and they're warm blooded. But they still are. Birds and all other reptiles alive today such as crocodiles and turtles, all share a common ancestor. The common ancestors are named Archosaurs. This is a group of diapsids (reptiles except for turtles) that most likely first evolved 250 million years ago. Now, the only living relatives are crocodiles and birds. I found this information on the University of California Museum of Paleontology website. Birds themselves evolved from reptilian dinosaurs around 113 million years ago. If you go to onezoom.org and search up birds, you'll find this. Animaldiversity.com is great research material for this kind of thing. On there you'll find that the class reptilia includes Testudines, Lepidosauria, Crocodilia, and their relatives Aves. One thing in common with all reptiles (including birds) is that they are all amniotes. This means that their eggs are protected by a membrane called an amnion. You'll find that mammals are also amniotes, but don't lay eggs, and the skull structure between the two differs, mainly in the chewing and hearing parts.

[fool3]