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As someone in a relationship with someone 9 years older than me, and have been since I was 18 years old (we’ve been together almost 6 years now) the way that the conversation about age gaps should be had is it’s not about age but MATURITY when it comes to the relationship.

The reason it has worked out for some and not others is because you have to be on the same level going in, when I met my partner I had grown up incredibly quickly and when we met we both felt like we were talking to and hanging out with someone at the same age as us, I’ve never gotten on with those my own age because I found them young, immature and difficult to understand why they find certain things important when they seem trivial to me.

So when I see comments like the one you made about age gaps, I feel compelled to speak up, because it doesn’t matter what the youngest’s age is in the age gap (providing it’s legal obviously!) it’s about the mental state and maturity of those involved.

Hi! I'm sorry if my post came out as if I considered age gaps at an early age inherently "wrong" or unhealthy as such. In fact, I was actually agree very much with you, and was kind of implicitly saying the same.

I see a lot of people are super againt age gaps, but I'm personally super used to them because mi grandparents have a 16 year old age gap (all though they did meet when my grandma was like 35). Like I said in my post, there are exceptions of people with age gaps getting together when one of them was really young and making them work, and I'm super happy that you and your partner are one of them!

I just meant that most of the time, unfortunately that is not the case. But you are absolutely right and maturity and mental state are 100% the key factor here (the situation being, MOST of the time, not always, maturity and mental state at that age is simply not the same as the situation of someone 10 years older). But like I said, there are exceptions and I actually think is super cool and nice that you and your partner are one of them :)

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The thing about All Too Well is not the age-gap itself, but the age gap at that particular stage in life. Because a 10 year age gap between a 20 year old and a 30 year old is not the same way as a 10 year age gap but between, say, a 30 year old and a 40 year old. With 30-40, we’re talking about two people who can consider themselves in similar stages of life, they are both full adults. But someone who is just turning 20 and someone who just turned 30 are two people who are in completely different stages of life.

When you’re 20, you’re just entering that awkward phase between being a late teen and a young adult, and trying to figure out how the fuck adulting works. When you’re 30 (I imagine, since I’m not 30 yet), you’ve already more or less have the hang of it. You can’t expect a 20 year old to experience life the same way as a 30 year old, no more than you could expect it the other way around. Expectations are different, needs are different, thought process is different, literally everything. I’m sure there must be some couples that make it work, and good for them! But they’re exceptions, not the rule. In most cases, the relationship is clearly too unbalanced to be called healthy. 

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The Palestine/Israel situation

Long post under read more

So considering everything that had been going on between palestine/israel, I’m really interested in informing myself a little bit more on the matter so as to gain a better understanding. 

It’s a situation that, besides for the obvious reasons, has given me a lot of thought because I have jewish ancestry (ethnically, not religiously, as I was brought up a christian), and as such, I have always felt for the jewish cause, especially the chance for them to have a place called home, and I always thought that jews were native from the area that is currently known as Palestine or Israel, depending on who you ask. Because of this, when I saw people referr to Isreal as a settler colony, I was very confused, because I thought of it as a country created for the jews to finally return to their homeland after the diaspora.

Then I informed myself a little bit more on Palestine, because truth be told, I knew very little of them. For what I understand, palestinians are native to the area too, and were, as they have been for centuries, living there when Israel was created. So I thought, well, obviously if they are natives to the area, they have every right to want to live in their own damn country, right?

Long story short, from what I gathered I understand that both the jewish people and the palestinians are natives from the same area. The area has been occupied by different powers at different times, which obviously generated a lot of human movement, people being displaced, other people moving in, and naturally, lots of cultures, ethnical groups and religion being thrown together. Jerusalem is the core to Judaism, Christianism and Islam. 

When WW2 happened and people found out about the Holocaust afterwards, apparently Isreal was installed so that the jews could return to their ancestral homeland (as what I suppose was some kind of attempt from the allies’ part to compensate the horrors of the Holocaust?). Which seemed all right and well, since, you know, people have the right to live in their homeland, right? 

But it would seem that the government installed that would conform the country called Israel considering the area only as their homeland, even though the palestinian people were just as much natives and hence had just as much claim and right to live their. So then began the crimes against palestine, the evictions, the bombings, so back and so forth. As Israel push for control became increasingly more radical, part of the palestine rebellion radicalized too into what we know and then consider terrorist organizations. So now is a constant struggle of violence, with the difference that the Israeli government counts with the backup of the US.

So, basically, what I understand is that Israel as a government (not to be understood as jewish people) is basically a creation born from western powers who, as they unfamously have done in the past, meddled in an area that was not their concerned (as they had done before, possibly originating the diasporas in first place), my guess, for control in the area (as they often do). That this government is basically pushing some propaganda via the banner of “the jews settling back in their homeland” but are really using it as an excuse to expand their influence at the stake of palestinian lives. Instead of...you know...maybe letting the two people perhaps coexist in peace in their shared land? 

I don’t know if these thoughts make sense, or if I’m getting something wrong. I really want to have an informed opinion on the matter. If people more directly involved in the matter can provide me a more complete insight that might help to give me a more educated opinion, you are more than welcomed (as long as it is with respect)

What I am certain thought, is that no one, absolutely no one, deserved to go through what all these innocent lives are going through and I pray for the safety and well being of each and every one of you.

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Just a question below...

So, I’ve recently been wondering a lot about sexual orientation, sexual identity and attitude towards sex. The lines are a bit blurry for me, and I felt like maybe tumblr would be a good place to ask, since it’s a place with testimony of actual people rather than medical papers.

For what I understand, sexual orientation concerns who you are attracted to (same sex-person, opposite sex-person, regardless of sex, etc). Sexual identity is what sex you identify as (male, female, non-binary, fluid, trans, etc). And attitude towards sex is ...well, how you feel about it? That’s the part that confuses me. I don’t know if asexual or demisexual or that spectrum in general falls under the category of sexual orientation, sexual identity or other.

The reason that I’ve been wondering this is because I’ve been questioning about myself lately. I’m sure I identify as a cis female, and that I am attracted to men. But lately I’ve been wondering about my position regarding sex. I know I feel attraction towards a man when I find him attractive, be it an actor or a stranger I see on the subway. But I feel like it’s sort of a superficial attraction, not an “yes, I’d had sex with him” kind of attraction (maybe with celebrities is a bit different, but I think that might be because I know it’s practically impossible). I don’t feel like I could have anything sexual with someone I don’t have an emotional connection with (regardless of whether if I find them sexually attractive or not). Sometimes the thought of something as simple as a kiss kind of makes me indifferent, let alone sex. Other times, I crave that intimacy. I thought maybe I’m demisexual, but for what I understand (for what I’ve read), demisexuals don’t really feel physical attraction towards people until they’ve formed a connection with them first. I do feel attraction towards people without forming a connection first. I just don’t really feel a sexual pull (maybe like, every once in a while for a few seconds, but then it’s over).

I know it’s not really necessary to define one’s self if you don’t want to, but I would like to have a better idea of where I might fall into (I wouldn’t want to wrongfully clame to be something I’m , and if people who are more understanding/experienced on the subject could point me in the right direction, I’d be super grateful. And I do hope nobody is offended by this, cause my only intention is to educate myself a little bit.

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I want to talk about something that really bothers me in the rp communities. I have talked about it before but every now and then I think of better ways to express it so here it goes again.

It really bothers me when people make claims about latinx ethnicity. Statements like “xx celebrity is of latinx ethnicity so please cast them accordingly” or “xx celebrity can’t be related to yy celebrity because they are latinx” are meant to do well and guarantee proper representation, but the truth is, they are missing the whole point and actually making more harm than good. But saying things like these, you are actually erasing both our diverse ethnic background and our identity.

Latin America (roughly understood from Mexico downwards to Chile and Argentina) is composed of countless of different ethnicities, given it’s unique historical background. Most of Latin America was “conquered” by Spaniards and Portuguese, both of which belong to white europeans. Because of this, many latin americans are white. In some parts, slave traders brought a lot of african slaves, so there is also a high percentage of black people in Latin America as well. And of course, before either of these ehtnicities came here, there were numerous different native ethnic groups, some of which still exist today, while others mixed with other ethnicities. even after the colonnial people, different people of different backgrounds kept coming here. Some countries received many italians, some countries received germans, some received chinese, korean, palestinian, you name it.

So you see, we have many, many different ethnicities. But the thing is, all of these, with no exception, are latinx. Because being latinx is not an ethnicity, but a cultural identity. This identity differs somewhat from country to country, but there is a general consensus in which we all identify and that is that our home is this land so vast and so diverse, which has seen so much suffering but also so much strength. We are the bastard children of multiple people who have come and spread and grown in this territory. There is a whole mentality that ties us together. But this does not mean we don’t each have different ethnicity.

So a latinx person can white, they can be black, they can be asian, they can be native american, they can be middle-eastern. And they will ALL be latinx as long as they have been raised within a latin american context. It is really, REALLY important for everyone to understand this so that we might finally be represented and portrayed as we see ourselves. Please, next time you’rr making a statement regarding a latinx faceclaim’s ethnicity, check their individual background, not their nationality or just the general area they grew up with. Because their background might be completely different. The person will still be latinx in real life because that is their CULTURAL IDENTITY. But in fiction, they can be portrayed from pretty much whatever part of the world you want, as long as it matches their individual ethnic background.

So basically LATINX = CULTURAL IDENTITY, NOT ETHNICITY.

Yours truly, a latinx girl.

PS: Of course, this does not mean I speak on behalf of every latinx person there is, some might think different. But well, this is a perspectiveI have encountered with many other latinx people, but it is so unknown within the rp community that I thought I might as well put it out there.

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Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

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I might be about to get controversial but...

I don’t know how other latinx might feel, but this is a personal opinion that I as a latina have been pondering for quite some time.

It’s a consensus to say latinx people are an ethnicity. In fancasts and roleplays I have often seen people calling out other saying “ x faceclaim can’t be related to y faceclaim because x is latinx even though they look white”. That, added to the general image of the latinx portrayed in media (tanned, dark hair and eyes, curvy or muscular, etc), I believe shows just how little other societies know about latinx reality. They preach about correct casting, ethnic accuracy and what not, but seemingly for the sake of being “woke”, without actually getting to know Latin America. A very simple consequence of this, for example, is that latinx representation is usually limited to: Mexico, Colombia, some Caribbean countries and, at the most, Brazil. I am from Chile, and while living in the States, whenever I told someone where I came from, they looked at me as if I had just made the country up.

The conclusion I have come about latinx is this:

Being Latinx is not an ethnicity. It is a CULTURAL IDENTITY.

There is no such thing as a latinx ethnicity. You need to keep in mind, in Latin America, populations are heavily mixed raced. What is more, most of us descend in some form from immigrants, mainly (but not exclusively) african and european immigrants/slave/whatever. Plus, there are also de descendants from native latin american people. 

You can, for example, select to latinx, and one of them can be white, and the other black. Clearly, they do not have the same ethnicity. But they are both latinx. Because, as I said, it is a cultural identity. The white person selected can come from full german parents, can even have been born in Germany themselves, but suppose they came to Latin America as a baby and grew up in here: they are latinx and most propbably will identify as such. 

Being latinx, I believe, is about having a cultural identity built highly of bits and pieces of many other cultures. Think of it as latinx being the “bastard children” of the world. Countries constructed via people who had no place in their original community. Constructed via people who were brought here against their will. It’s a culture of outcasts that is beyond the specific ethnic background of each and every one of us. Each individual has their own ethnic background (and THAT you should keep in mind when casting) but we are all latinx. Some countries have more native american populations, some have africanamerican populations, some have white populations. They are all latinx. 

I think saying that latinx is an ethnicity is excluding many individuals from their cultural identity. So please stop saying “x faceclaim is os latinx ethnicity so they can’t be casted as a relative to y faceclaim who is white”. Wrong. Depending on x’s ethnic background, they might be perfectly white. Which does not mean they are not latinx. Being latinx should  have no influence in casting because is a cultural thing, not a physical one. It’s like casting actors to specific roles only if they have the same personality.

* [ just to be clear, I’m using the examples with white ethnicity situations mainly because they are the cases I most often see here on tumblr, but this applies to all ethnic backgrounds found in Latin America ]

So that’s the thing. Of course, this is a personal opinion that I have been giving thought for quite some time as a latinx girl. I was always bothered when I saw “x is latinx so they can’t be cast as white” when x is completely white, and that does not mean they are not latinx. Maybe other latinx might disagree with this. Maybe they are more informed. I don’t know. I just wanted to get this possibility out there.

You are not latinx by genes. You are latinx by experience. By life, by essence. The essence of an identity built collectively, but we were done having others building it for us.

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The Best ATM Withdrawal Defense

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Cambian las ideologías políticas pero la forma de gobernar sigue siendo la misma de hace 90 años

Y mientras tanto, toda la clase política se dedica a manipular y dividir a la sociedad a favor de sus intereses particulares. Civiles y militares, somos todos sus títeres, mientras ellos se sientan tranquilitos a discutir cuánto se subirán el sueldo el año que viene.

Y entre tanto el país arde y todos se pelean.sin enfrentar a los verdaderos culpables: los políticos.

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On how being chilean is constantly being pissed off

Okay, so as I was going through the “Chile” tag, I knew I should not get involved, not get involved, not get involved, but when people start talking crap for the sake of shock value, I’m sorry, I get fucking pissed off.

First things first. Now that we chilean people are the best at playing victims.It’s almost like a national sport. So when you read that a state of emergency is being declared in Chile, don’t imagine a country at war and the lands on fire. The state of emergency was not even declared in the entire country, only in the capital. You know why? Because the capital is the only place people are rioting because it’s the only place that has a fucking subway network to begin with (because apparently it’s the only city that matters). So no, there is not dictatorship landscape. It’s a single fucking city. Don’t imagine Venezuela because it’s not even remotely close to that.

 On regarding the state of emergency and the constant lash out to the military forces, I don’t see anyone complaining whenever an earthquake happens, or half a city blows up in flames like every summer, or a fuckin tsunami swiped away half a region. Who do then people call on? The fucking military forces. Before immediately going back on hating on them, because people in Chile are incapable of living in the present, but keep going back to the dictatorship time after time and honestly, that’s the reason we can’t progress into better governments, because we are constantly going back to the same old shit.

People rioting, between 15-18 years old it’s terrible. But here’s what nobody on tumblr is telling you: the student ticket price has not gone up. It was only the adult ticket price. Now, people can protest anyways, because it is fucking unfair, I’m not agaist that, but I hate when people withdraw information for the sake of playing the victim. Like I said, we chilean people are masters at that.

The riots themselves are all well and right. March in the streets, protest in the subways stations, I’m on board with that. A message  has to be send, since our clown of a president wouldn’t  know basic human needs even if they hit him in the face. Buuuut, once again, here’s what they are not telling you:

They set fire to the stations.

They set fire to a university

They set fire to the building of a telephone company

They’re raiding supermarkets.

What does that have to do with the fucking subway price? Nothing. And THAT is why the state of emergency has been declared, not because  people are out there protesting on the streets. It’ because they’re setting the fucking city on fire. Explain to me how is destroying the subway stations helpin? You know they’ll raise the ticket price even more in order to pay for that shit. You’re also fucking up the people who need to take the subway every day to get their education or go to work, as if having to pay more money for it was not already bad enough. 

Because we are a country who takes advantage of this situation to simply do damage  for the sake of it. That’s just how it is. We are so politically polarized it makes me sick. You can’t even defend the military forces who are constantly getting shit without being called a dictatorship lover. And honestly, everyone who does that speaks from fucking ignorance.

The real enemy here is, and there is no fucking surprise here: the government. A bunch of clowns as usual. The economic system isn’t the problems, unless you wanna go back to the one before the dictatorship, of course. You know, the one in which there wasn’t anything to eat. The problem here, fellows, is the fact that our politicians are a bunch of clowns who had pass around a law for YEARS...unless it’s the law concerning their salary. And this is not just the right wing. It’s the left wing too, who are talking about the economic gap between classes while having a million dollar salary. Our politicians are corrupt and they play with the people’s minds and political views to suit their own agenda. They’re dumb as fuck, both from the right, to the left.

Our  subway is like the most expensive in latin america (though apparently that is within the average, according to some minister. Clearly he failed basic statistics). So people have every right to be angry. People have every right to riot. People have every right to hate the government.

But do so while looking at the whole picture, and aknowledge our own mistakes. If the military forces are out on the street, it’s because places are being raided and set on fire. We are a violent nation, that’s the fact. We are violent, and senseless, unconscious.

But we always bounce back. We bounced back from a communist regime that had the country starving. We bounced back from a brutal dictartorship that had people living in terror. And trust me we’ll bounce back from having a pack of clowns in the government and the parliament. 

Stay safe people. Be sensible (since our government cannot). Don’t blame the military forces for their job. Don’t set things on fire or throw rocks because that only makes the clowns in the government close up even more.

Riot in a way that makes a real difference.

Riot in a way that sets us free, not that sinks us back into violence. Riot smartly.

Maybe then, we might outsmart the government and get them to do something for us. I mean, how hard can it be to outsmart a bunch of clows?

And I totally agree, don’t pay that fucking price ticket. It’s fucking expensive!

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by Krzyzanowski Art

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About PoC Ariel

Honestly you know what pisses me off about the whole PoC Little Mermaid issue? I just don’t like it when ethnicity is changed for the sake of...nothing related to the plot. I didn’t like it when Rooney Mara was casted as Tigerlily, I didn’t like it when white actors were casted to play Egyptian Gods, I  didn’t like it when white actors were casted as the Maximoffs (After I found out about their romani heritage, because I didn’t read the comics). Being consequent with this, now I don’t like it that the new Ariel is PoC. Not because she’s black, but simply because The Little Mermaid is a danish tale, and ethnically, she’s white. The point is (for me) that characters should be casted according to their ethnicity, whichever that is. Changing ethnicity is just not cool, period. Unless it’s related to the plot (example: the action in the new Little Mermaid takes place in the Caribbean which btw, would be so freaking cool).

White-washing and wrong casting is not fixed by casting PoC people in ethnically white roles for the sake of it. It’s casting all roles according to the context of the plot, be it white, black, indian, asian, or a freaking blue alien. That’s how racism stops being an issue.

Now, the arguements white people are giving against that cast are stupid as hell. To all those people saying it’s reversed racism (which is not even real) or that it ruins their childhood, get your head out of your arse. 

You know what ruins my childhood? The fact that Mushu is not featured in the new live action adaptation of Mulan.

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how come in infinity war they didnt just kiss the infinity stones off thanos’s fingers like in robin hood

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floof

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(◕‿◕✿)

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Resources For Describing Emotion

Emotions

Without Making Your Character Feel Too Self Aware

Showing Emotion Without Telling About It

Emotions Associated With Body Language

Telling Readers What The Character Doesn’t Want To Show

Hiding Emotions

Expressing Cardinal Emotions: Masculine vs. Feminine

Writing Extreme Emotion Without Melodrama

Specific Emotions

Conveying Shock

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Conveying Defensiveness

Conveying Desire

Conveying Doubt

Conveying Energy

Conveying Exhaustion

Conveying Hunger

Conveying Loneliness

Conveying Physical Pain

Emotional Wounds

A Role Model Who Disappoints

A Sibling’s Betrayal

A Speech Impediment

Becoming a Caregiver at an Early Age

Being Bullied

Being Fired or Laid Off

Being Held Captive

Being Mugged

Being Publicly Humiliated

Being Raised by Neglectful Parents

Being Raised by Overprotective Parents

Being So Beautiful It’s All People See

Being the Victim of a Vicious Rumor

Being Stalked

Being Trapped in a Collapsed Building

Being Unfairly Blamed For The Death of Another

Childhood Sexual Abuse (by a family member or known person)

Discovering One’s Parent is a Monster

Discovering One’s Sibling was Abused

Experiencing a Miscarriage or Stillbirth

Failing At School

Failing To Do The Right Thing

Financial Ruin Due To A Spouse’s Irresponsibility

Finding Out One’s Child Was Abused

Finding Out One Was Adopted

Getting Lost In a Natural Environment

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Growing Up in a Dangerous Neighborhood

Growing Up In Foster Care

Growing Up In The Public Eye

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Growing Up with a Sibling Who Has a Chronic Disability or Illness

Having Parents Who Favored One Child Over Another

Having To Kill Another Person To Survive

Infertility

Infidelity (emotional or physical)

Losing a Limb

Losing a Loved One To A Random Act of Violence

Making a Very Public Mistake

Overly Critical or Strict Parents

Physical Disfigurement

Rejection By One’s Peers

Telling The Truth But Not Being Believed

The Death of a Child On One’s Watch

Victimization via Identity Theft

Watching A Loved One Die

Wrongful Imprisonment

Spending Time In Jail

Suffering From a Learning Disability

Motivation

Achieving Spiritual Enlightenment

Avoiding Certain Death

Avoiding Financial Ruin

Beating a Diagnosis or Condition

Being Acknowledged and Appreciated by Family

Being a Leader of Others

Being the Best At Something

Caring for an Aging Parent

Carrying on a Legacy

Catching The Bad Guy or Girl

Coming To Grips With Mental Illness

Discovering One’s True Self

Escaping a Dangerous Life one Doesn’t Want

Escaping a Killer

Escaping a Widespread Disaster

Escaping Confinement

Escaping Homelessness

Escaping Invaders

Finding Friendship or Companionship

Finding a Lifelong Partner

Having a Child

Helping a Loved One See They Are Hurting Themselves and Others

Obtaining Shelter From The Elements

Overcoming Abuse and Learning To Trust

Overcoming Addiction

Protecting One’s Home or Property

Pursuing Justice For Oneself or Others

Realizing a Dream

Reconciling with an Estranged Family Member

Rescuing a Loved One From a Captor

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Trying Again When One Has Previously Failed

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