feverishscorpio

[feverishscorpio]

If they do not bring the food the your stomach, the air to your lungs, or the blood to your heart then their opinion about you, does not matter.

[feverishscorpio]

There’s no way that the complexity of humans can be categorized into one sexual orientation, one religion, one color, size, and shape- and still be human.

The societal constructs are so deeply engraved into our culture that anything that is different, is immediately outcasted.

We have a long way to go in order to break free from these constraints and truly embrace diversity and individuality.

[feverishscorpio]

Relationships.

As good advice, I would say to always make sure the relationship with your self is solid before starting other relationships. However, I do not believe we have multiple relationships.

I believe the relationship we have with our self reflects the outer world. The relationship we have with food, our friends, our pets, our interests, partners, parents, siblings, careers, bodies, rooms, etc. It’s all connected.

In fact, every interaction we have, no matter how small, contributes to the complex web of relationships that shape our lives.

So what does that all mean?

Work on yourself, for yourself.

Seek self-awareness, understand your values, strengths, and weaknesses. Move your body and do things that feel good.

Not for the sake of others, only for you.

The more we prioritize and invest in our own personal growth and well-being, everything else in our lives falls into place more easily. Taking the time to focus on ourselves allows us to show up fully in all our relationships and responsibilities, as we are equipped with a sense of inner balance.

When we are wounded and not actively healing, we hurt each other.

Hurt people Hurt people.

The cycle of pain perpetuates when we carry our emotional wounds, causing us to unintentionally inflict harm onto others.

That is why we cannot take things personally.

Yes it difficult at times to not take things personally, but when we remind ourselves that everyone is walking their own unique journey with their own set of struggles and insecurities, it becomes a bit easier.

Hurt people, Hurt People.

But as we work on healing ourselves, we start breaking the cycle, transforming the hurt and pain into understanding and compassion towards others. Of course this is easier said than done as this requires a level of self awareness most do not care to reach.

And it is not easy to release the personal connection with others actions when they hurt or inconvenience us.

When that one person does something that “ruins your day”.

Or another person cut you off on the freeway.

Or you work at Starbucks and got yelled at by a costumer.

All of those people are in their own world where unfortunately, they disregarded others.

Maybe that person cut you off because they’re late to work. It’s not right, but it doesn’t have to make you rage.

Maybe the costumer that yelled at you is the assistant to a really horrible boss that stresses them out so they got stressed out. Is it right? never will be. Ignore it.

But sometimes, it's hard to ignore the hurt and frustration that these actions cause. And that is okay.

In these moments we cannot be anything but gentle and kind with ourselves.

We must acknowledge our feelings and allow ourselves to process them without judgment or self-blame.

Just like when it comes to physical health, our bodies are temples. It is important to pay attention to our mental and emotional health as well.

Mental health to physical health is the Remy to the Linguini.

The ingredients of a dish.

The lightening to The Flash.

Don’t you see?

How can you make a mind body connection when you can’t make a mind connection?

It's true that making a mind-body connection requires being able to connect with ourselves on a mental level.

Mind body connection is the best thing you can do for your physical fitness goals. When we have a strong mind-body connection, we are more in tune with our body's needs, able to listen to its signals and respond accordingly.

Relationships.

[feverishscorpio]

Having low self esteem will ruin your life.

Read that again.

Take a moment to really absorb the impact of those words. You deserve to have high regards for yourself. Having low self-esteem can lead to self-doubt, lack of confidence, and missed opportunities.

However, being conceited, vain, and selfish is not the answer. Narcissism is not the solution to low self-esteem. It is important to find a healthy balance between self-love and humility.

We all talk to ourselves. If anything, it’s more insane to not talk to yourself. Talking to ourselves is how we process *everything*. But it also how we navigate.

Negative thoughts make a negative reality. To counteract negative thoughts and create a positive reality, it's essential to practice self-awareness and challenge those negative thoughts.

It is very easy to judge our selves and/or others. You’re walking in a store and you see someone who is bigger wearing a crop top. You insult them in your head, why?

or maybe you wanted to wear the crop top, but you insult yourself, why?

Because deep down, we've internalized societal standards of beauty and body image, causing us to subconsciously judge others and ourselves based on these narrow views.

But remember, there will always be someone skinnier than you, taller than you, better at that one hobby than you, prettier, handsomer, smarter, our goals. You could be insecure about something someone would pay thousands of dollars to obtain. And that’s the issue, low self esteem.

We will discard everything about us we don’t believe is good until there is nothing. People see this as an opportunity to take advantage of.

We can call it self love but in reality it’s acceptance. Beauty is something that is always going to be subjective. Your self worth and self respect cannot be measured by something that has no solid foundation like beauty. Because we are beautiful, we are life.

No skin color or body type is the right one but our own.

I am beautiful.

You are beautiful.

And together, we will work on strengthening our belief in our own beauty and worthiness.

It is not easy to shift your thoughts from pessimism to optimism. But it is doable.

The next time you think something negative about yourself try not to say it. Don’t write it don’t text it don’t speak it.

If you do speak it, try combating that negative comment with something positive. You want to get to the point where you don’t even think the negativity.

The worse thing you can do is try to get into other peoples heads.

Are you in a romantic relationship and insecure about your body? Don’t be insecure because you’re worried about what THEY think. It does not matter the amount of scars or fat that covers your body, only thing that matters is that **you** accept it.

Body positivity isn’t about promoting unhealthy habits/appearance. It’s about not degrading ourselves for not being what others want. And it certainly does not mean bullying.

So maybe you’re overweight, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get to wear the clothes you want.

That does not mean you should not love yourself and allow others to put you down. Yes allow.

This does not mean don’t better yourself, you have to do what’s best for you. For some that could be running marathons and being vegan, for others that could mean boxing and playing fortnite.

Your self is more than physical. It encompasses your mind, emotions, and spirit as well. We have to take care of ALL the self.

Exercise.

Drink water.

Eat foods that make you feel good.

Develop healthy coping mechanisms for the things you can’t express well.

But never beat yourself up for not being able to do these things. Allow yourself to be gentle and kind to yourself in your journey.

To work on your self esteem you have to start inside and work your way out. Then you have to apply it to the real world, now you have to be confident in yourself enough that whatever is said does not phase you.

But that does not mean that you can just flip a switch. And growth is by no means linear. You may be able to walk out of your house wearing something new and a little out of your comfort zone but you might shrink back in your shell once you’re at your destination. When things like this happen it’s important to nurture ourselves. Think of yourself as a kid that you are protecting.

If a child ran up to you crying because they were upset they felt “ugly” how would react?

You would likely embrace that child, or console them, and reassure them that they are beautiful just the way they are. We don’t stop needing that just because we age. We need it the older we get because we drift away from our inner child. This inner child within us longs for love and acceptance, especially during times of vulnerability.

The funny thing is, time is a construct. It does not actually exist in anywhere but our own minds. Meaning our child self is very much still there even if they aren’t there physically.

Time may be a construct, but its passage shapes and molds us in ways we might not always realize. Every second you spend talking down to yourself, you miss the opportunity to experience love and abundance.

[feverishscorpio]

Self awareness is the cornerstone of personal growth and emotional well-being. Being self aware is the most powerful thing you can do for yourself, so how do you start?

Start by noticing the way you react to situations around you, good or bad.

When you got into an argument with your friend how did you react? Maybe you cried and walked away, or maybe you yelled and said things you regret. Identifying this will help you understand your thoughts, feelings and emotions better. When we understand them, not just acknowledge, we allow ourselves the ability to nurture our selves and heal.

Healing begins when we compassionately accept our reactions without judgment. The way we treat ourselves, talk to ourselves, the boundaries we have, and the way we experience life are all connected. Think about it, if you tell yourself you’re unattractive, unworthy, replaceable, you’re going to be those things. Because you believe it.

Now when you develop any kind of relationship you are going into that relationship as that person who is unattractive, unworthy, and replaceable. This negative self-perception can greatly influence how you interact with others and can impact your ability to build healthy and fulfilling relationships. It begins to become an endless cycle of meeting people and being hurt or not being fulfilled by the relationship because you need to do the fulfilling. No one, nothing, will ever make you feel whole like you can. Because when we are brought into this world we are not whole. We are simply balls of clay that get molded into whoever those who have access to us want us to be. But through therapy, you can start to uncover your authentic self and break free from the chains of external validation.

It is natural to seek validation outside if ourselves. We all compare ourselves and criticize our reflections. At the end of the day, no one can hurt you more than you hurt yourself. And no one can love you more than you love yourself. You are you for a reason, you don’t owe anyone anything. Be unapologetic.

Who do you have to be sorry to?

When you go outside in that shirt that shows off the arms you don’t like, you don’t like them because you believe others don’t or won’t. You believe that you are supposed to look one way (Maybe you have a couple people in mind you want to look like.) therefore you tell yourself it’s a flaw. It is a flaw that you have this feature therefore you try to hide it. If you can’t hide it, you can’t stop thinking about it- you’re insecure.

Recognizing when you are insecure is a crucial step towards building self-confidence. When we do this now we can identify the thoughts, feelings, and emotions (TFE) associated with the insecurities. Self awareness.

Think, when is the last time someone has insulted you physically? When’s the last time you insulted someone physically?

It is all projection, hurt people hurt people. By recognizing that hurt people hurt people, we can begin to understand that when someone insults us physically, it may stem from their own pain and insecurities. And vice versa.

That is why a smile goes a long way. A smile is saying so many things by saying nothing. It’s a wordless compliment and a distant hug.

Smile.

Smile when you’re sad.

Smile when you wake up in the morning.

Smile when everything seems to be going wrong.

Smile at your reflection every chance you get.

Not only does smiling release neurotransmitters that make the brain a better place to exist but smiles also make the 3D world a better place to exist as well.

Start noticing how often you smile, how often you laugh. Who or what makes you smile naturally?

These observations can give us insights into the positive aspects of our lives and the people who bring us joy. You want to cherish these things because they are often taken for granted.

Every person you meet or encounter is for a reason. They all have something to teach us or help us grow, even if it's not always apparent in the moment. And it is NOT always going to be chocolates and roses. Sometimes, it's the challenges we face or the difficult moments that push us to grow and become stronger individuals. It's important to remember that therapy is a safe space to explore these challenges and difficult moments, as well as the positive aspects of our lives. I want you to read this when you are alone and in a safe space. Let your mind relax and explore it. Don’t be afraid but don’t rush yourself. We have to be gentle with ourselves because we may age but we are constantly learning and growing with every second that passes. The sooner you understand that the easier it will be to learn how to love yourself.

[feverishscorpio]

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