fellasleepat5am

[fellasleepat5am]

Nights like this are the ones that reminds me of you, they remind me the time you told me I shouldn't be afraid of looking out my windows when the sun comes down or the time you sang those funny ads song or the time you discovered my childhood nickname.

But they also remind me of the kiss we share and how we fell apart after that. They remind me of the time we haven't spoken and how I try to convince myself I don't miss you.

[fellasleepat5am]

how do you know if you are over someone when you haven't spoke with them in a while?

[fellasleepat5am]

I am so damn tired

[fellasleepat5am]

She is so pretty is intimidating

[fellasleepat5am]

How do people expect me to be fine if I don't have money for a psycologist?

[fellasleepat5am]

I forgot how stage fear felt.

I experienced it today.

Fucking shit man.

[fellasleepat5am]

Sometimes I feel like I lost control back then and didn't end things the right way.

Sometimes I feel like I should apologize for the damage that might have caused you.

Sometimes I remember how you made me feel and the things you did and then I don't feel guilty anymore.

But still it has been 6 months, I though I was over you way back then but what if I'm not?

I don't feel a romantic connection to you anymore, but here I am listening to our song and thinking about you.

Should I talk to you again and "end things properly" or continue with my life as I have been doing?

I like someone else but why do I feel like I'm looking for some kind of sign to talk to you again?

Can we just be friends again?

Or are we going to fall in the same loop over and over again?

I think I just want answer and to stop overthinking about this.

[fellasleepat5am]

Do I?

[fellasleepat5am]

I just wanna get legless and forget about stuff at least for one minute

[fellasleepat5am]

My ravioli were burnt and now I'm thinking about life.

[fellasleepat5am]

My pride month post is dedicated to my anxiety when thinking about my sexuality.

I loved a guy in my past but always had an interest in girls. So I though I was bi curious. I met a girl and had a crush on her, she caught my eye from the moment I saw her and when I kissed her it was it, I was sure a I'm a bisexual.

But still, sometimes I think, what if I didn't romatically loved him, maybe I loved him as a best friend and I am actually a lesbian. Then I think, what if I like her but as a friend, someone can like their friends looks and personalities without the romantic touch so that would mean I am straight.

These are the thoughts that sometimes don't leave my head for days. What if I'm not capable of love at all? What if I was wrong when coming out? If I would date a non binary person, does that makes me a pansexual? What if I have lied to everyone and even me regarding this? What if I don't like anyone at all? I have so many question and nobody to answer them or at least help me get an answer.

And comments like "You don't look bisexual" "How do you know if you have never dated a girl?" "Since when?" "I would have never though you liked girl" don't help at all.

My request is that if someone comes out to you or you find out their sexuality, please don't judge them or ask any questions like that. They might have already Asked those to themself before. Be nice and supportive because comments/questions like that might never leave their head.

Happy pride and remember that love is the most beautiful thing in the world. Respect it and be happy with and for other people.

[fellasleepat5am]

What is being fine anyways?

[fellasleepat5am]

I have tried everything but still I can't sleep, maybe I should stop thinking about you.

[fellasleepat5am]

What if we just stop feeling?

[fellasleepat5am]