feelings-train

[feelings-train]

I wish I wasn't so alone. All I can think about is how much happier I would be if I was a lifeless, bloody corpse instead.

[feelings-train]

You're the reason I still want to kill myself.

[feelings-train]

I just wish I fit in somewhere sometimes..

[feelings-train]

I fuck literally everything up because I can't fucking open up to people.

[feelings-train]

[feelings-train]

I need someone to save me

[feelings-train]

I feel like no one really wants me around.

[feelings-train]

i moved out. i had a high for a long time of feeling okay since i was out but the feelings im haunted by everything of my past and im starting to really want to die again. i just want anyone to notice but ive been so selfish so i really dont even deserve that. i have tried to ignore it for so long but it wont go away and now its just becoming worse. im such a bad person and i hate myself. i feel so alone but then i probably deserve that too. i think id be better off if i didnt exist.

[feelings-train]

Am I an abuser?

[feelings-train]

I want to die. Label me as abusive. I'm a piece of shit.

[feelings-train]

I'm just abusive to you. I know that's the only way you see me now.

[feelings-train]

I'M NOT STUPID. I WISH YOU'D STOP ACTING LIKE I AM. Fuck. You act like I owe you so much shit but in real life, you're the one who fucked your own self over. You didn't have to deal with anything I've been dealing with for two fucking years and you'll never understand how I feel and how I've felt. I'm not trying to have a pity party because you have your own personal issues but can't you cut me any fucking slack, I treated you like shit a lot. I get it but you act like I fucking owe you my life and a whole bunch of other shit. You chose to stick around and not deal with your feelings. THAT'S ON YOU. If we really look at it I don't owe you shit. You don't owe me shit. Stop acting victim and suck it the fuck up. We're both in shitty places but we only chose to let these things continuously happen for so long. I have feelings too and they matter just as much as yours do. Also I want to say that you'll be a fucking liar and hypocrite to me if you get with her. You drank yourself to hell and was a fool because when we split the first time I talked to someone else and said not to defend her to you and that I picked her over you and all this bullshit when we wasn't together and now we're not together again and I can feel it coming soon that you'll do the same thing when you asked me not to do it. So honestly what gives you the fucking right and not me? Why do you feel like you should have all these rights and I should have none? Maybe I'm just fucking crazy.

[feelings-train]

Holy shit. My heart is beating out of my chest and I can't think correctly. I don't know what to do. I want to know if you're mad at me for what I did. My best friend says not to message you but it's one of those things where I feel I need to. I don't even know if you know what I did. Someone please help because I still just want to somehow cheer my sister up.

[feelings-train]

man... my sister feels really sad tonight and she's helped me so much when I have bad nights. I want to help so bad but I don't want her to feel since I follow her on my other blog that she can't personal things without me worrying because she's that type of person and I just don't know what to do.. I dont want to cross any boundaries :(

[feelings-train]

Please don’t fall for her so quickly..

[feelings-train]

Don't fucking act like you're some badass because you left me. Congratulations dumbass I wanted to leave you a long time ago but fuck you had me on some god damn leash and I couldn't leave. But you know I'm going to get out of here and do something with myself. I'm made to be something good and to help people. I'm going to be better than I have ever been. So go ahead block me on everything cause when we cross one day in the streets you'll see how good I am and who I can be and wonder why you left. Don't fucking underestimate me.

[feelings-train]

I don’t know what I ever did to make you love someone like me. All I know is your laugh sounds like heaven, all I’ve ever known is hell. I’m starting to think there isn’t a bad bone in your body. It’s not your fault that things are hard. There’s red devils in my veins, And white ghosts in my bones. They pick places you can’t see them, so you think I’m wonderful. I wish I was for you. Im still looking for a sign that I deserve you, I’ll probably die searching for it. You’re so fucking beautiful, do you know that you’re beautiful? You’re an angel and you don’t even know it.