extraordinaryeyes

[extraordinaryeyes]

i remember thinking a lot about mudita the year leading up to uni, using it as the grounds on which to ground my applications and personal statement. but i think back then it meant something different to me, it was this strange superior saviour complex thing, it was happiness that is as a result of my actions, it was helping for some selfish pleasure of mine. 

today there’s this real joy that the day has ended on. jolade just won the outspoken london performance poetry + overall prize. i don’t know him as well as i’d like to. i had nothing to do with it. unfortunately, i wasn’t even there to see it. i didn’t truly realise how much i loved his work until rehearsal on friday tbh, it just wasn’t the same watching a video online months ago. but i am so so so happy, really brimming, at the end of quite an up and down but mostly down day as well, this has given me a massive up. 

i think maybe this is what truly being happy because of someone else’s happiness is. this might just be the biggest thing i’ve learnt from byp. 

[extraordinaryeyes]

I can’t believe that what is possibly/probably my last time performing as part of the BYP crew is over. It was such an incredible evening, and the weekend has just been aftershocks of how overwhelmed I am by all the incredible work and people and support. 

On Wednesday, I couldn't make it to the BYP rehearsal space because ma wasn’t comfortable with me travelling after the London shooting. On Thursday, I wrote a poem about community because I’m tired of writing angry things about the histories of our countries as though they don’t have contemporary implications, and writing about the contemporary implications as though I have not found home in this country inspite of these.

So, here’s the poem.

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Cannot express how much I loved this film, found myself crying multiple times from start to finish and left the cinema with renewed vigour for my own dissertation, the wikipedia-edit-a-thon and telling more of these incredible stories. 

Particularly loved in the end updates that Dororthy Vaughn was “NASA’s first African-American Supervisor”. Not first black woman. Just first. 

[extraordinaryeyes]

“Why are we always so busy?” Annette Krauss via http://siteforunlearning.tumblr.com

[extraordinaryeyes]

just under 24 hours to go and at this point i could probably attempt a 2000 word essay and 300 word book review, but to do it the other way around (like it’s supposed to be) is going to be a puuuush 

in other news, got hamilton tickets today for over a year from now when i’m not even sure what country i will be living in lol 

[extraordinaryeyes]

“How’s that essay going?”

[extraordinaryeyes]

AHAHA this is hilarious, @elexuscal and everyone else, in India we have “nimbu paani” (lemon water) which is non-carbonated, most often homemade lemonade. So we get the all the references and summer connotations. And make it at home, with mint sometimes (nommy)

Lmao this American girl walked up to a Hungry Jacks (Burger King) register with her drink and really, really loudly (I was at the other side of the place) proclaimed: “I asked for Lemonade, you gave me Sprite” in a really bitchy, entitled voice.

The cashier (and everyone within earshot) just looked at her like “the fuck is wrong with you”

In Australia, Sprite IS lemonade as far as we’re concerned.

Enjoy your 90c refund you cheap ass ho.

[extraordinaryeyes]

In my reading today, "In 1939, the British declared Indians at war without first consulting these newly formed (government) bodies."

Flatmate’s reaction:

[extraordinaryeyes]

I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (via wordsnquotes)

[extraordinaryeyes]

being nice and kind is so so so important and honestly any “success” i have and will have will be because other people have been kind. 

(inspired by @ampersamm - who thought we’d start a tumblr together years ago and then one day be useful ‘professional’ friends?) 

[extraordinaryeyes]

Do you ever just:

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okay so now i’ve applied for four jobs (two summer, two full time) but still not done my essays

i guess that’s progress?

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Compassion has no place in the natural order of the world which operates on the basis of necessity. Compassion opposes this order and is therefore best thought of as being in some way supernatural.

John Berger  (via mounaks)

[extraordinaryeyes]

another update gifset, in my first term at cambridge, i have watched and loved this whole series. it is high quality fairy tale fanfic and i love how it all ties together. 

You can show me how to operate the helm of your video… box. Whatever it’s called.

[extraordinaryeyes]

These were the resolutions from two years ago and honestly, not much has changed about what I want to improve. So another performance review- 

Stress has been the defining state of being this year. The tail end of third year was a mess, deciding what to do after wasn’t too easy, I had a great few months off and starting the new degree, and now it’s back again. I want to keep it under control, but I suspect I’ve bitten off more than I can chew with doing BYP again, and this degree, and trying to soon be employed. We’ll see.

Water has been up and down, got better and got worse again. Now getting better again. I sometimes put dhatri (from Janaki Aunty) in the water jug now, it makes me feel earthy and homely, even though it’s never something we’d do at home.

Budgeting has been good, I think. Obviously that’s barring the cost of the degree. Finally having a kitchen and being able to control my food expenditure + not needing to eat lunch in central London has been great. Travel is now my biggest cost, but also all over the deals/savings/railcard things. 

Flatmates being vegetarian has improved my diet tremendously. Have been out of Cambridge most of December and eating ridiculous amounts and don’t think I’ve had a single fruit, but back tomorrow and it’ll all fall back into place. 

Summer was once again good for reading, though it was mostly Agatha Christie’s with Ammoomma. I’m giving the HP audiobooks a first try, so maybe if this works out I’ll get some more fiction going. Although I’m finding that listening is much slower than reading. Or maybe that’s just because of how well I know the HP books. Tbc.

BYP is helping, again, but one of my goals this time was to write and edit more outside sessions. That’s not happening so much. Lots and lots of room for improvement. 

Pokemon Go has meant I’m walking a lot more than I need to, particularly now that my commute is 6-8 min rather than 25-30.

I am reading better for the degree, but still nowhere close to where I should be. 

Get published has been the success of the year, I think. The two articles in HARF, the LSE blog, the BYP anthology (and upcoming anthology), the Notes Cambridge journal, Dear Damsel’s blog and annual magazine, and the Cosmo Prize. There we go, I feel a little better about the resolutions from two years ago now. 

This daughter-granddaughter thing has been bothering me the past few weeks. Not a lot has changed. I am calling less, but Ammoomma and I are having better conversations, I sent (what I thought was) a really nice new year and birthday card for her. I’m not sure about anything else really. 

So most of the resolutions remain- write more, read more, be healthier. It was my third NYE/NY with Georgia though, which was lovely. 

A resolution to spend more time keeping up and catching up with her and Kitty. I don’t want my stress to continually affect my friends, so to plan and manage time well enough that I am better able to compartmentalise. To tackle the future head on, whatever next year has in store. To watch less TV/online TV because I never watch real TV anymore, but I’d like to go back to when reading was what kept me from working. To be kinder, to be as supportive as I can be, to be less judgemental. 

Everyone needs to know about our mundane resolutions, badlawyerjokes. Publicity/accountability/guilt/responsibility or whatever. 

The back of this tissue says ‘Try something new and/or exciting every week (like raw egg)’ and ‘Go to Wagamama’

We’re currently sitting dog-sitting Ramsey in Cambridge and we’re so cute and domestic and stuff. We haven’t even known each other for a year. Such a surreal world. Much affection for you, human. 

[extraordinaryeyes]

i still don’t know the words to this song, but here’s a gifset to commemorate hogmanay in edinburgh and spending time with the best friends and being grateful that not a lot has changed between us despite no longer living in the same city. i am still the one who leaves the party early to go to bed, more excited about the new year’s day at home with tea and snacks and board games and a big brunch, and we’re all okay with that 💕 happy new year, everyone!

should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind  should old acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne 

[extraordinaryeyes]

i may or may not have eaten four bagels in the past 24 hours