ewo-official - Tumblr blog

[ewo-official]

"Their power is drawn from a wide variety of sources across history, and they have their own chronokinetic devices that safeguard them against attacks exactly like the one you're proposing. As for this Gary of which you speak, I do not doubt that they would find some way to neutralise it. And there is, even if all else fails for them, their human reboot machine, so they could wipe this world clean and start again, preserving themselves above all else of course, as they have done before. I am sorry to tell you that fighting the Jailors would be an all-out war, and it is not one we are likely to win."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"I don't think I do, actually. You've already answered any I might have wanted to ask. I assume that means you'll be taking your leave soon?"

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"Very true. Having the general population be unable to perceive, conceptualise, recognise, or remember another colour would not be good, and anyone capable of finding out who was responsible would not treat anyone involved kindly."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"While travelling between worlds and timelines is well within my grasp thanks to the facilities here at the EWO, the theory and technology behind it are definitely outside of my expertise. Regardless, thank you for not leaving me inside of orange."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"With the memes and antimemes we study in this department, that would be a lethally hazardous way to study them. Even knowing some of them exist can be deadly, so I'd hate to know what being inside of them would do to you."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"Well, if you had a way to beat an opposition that has the power and resources to rewrite history so that your union never came to exist in the first place, I have a feeling you would have done so already given the nature of them that stands directly against everything you do for.

"In case some context and perspective are required, the EWO has a literal God at our helm we could call upon, and even we don't try to oppose the Jailors or Bookburners at the organisational level. And that's just when they're working separately! When they and their allies are united in a single effort, as they are in this matter, we don't stand a chance.

"I hope that gives you a good idea of the power these organisations hold and the difficulty inherent to opposing their precious normalcy, wherein not even gods could stand against them." There is a hint of defeatism in their voice as they speak, though their demeanour remains calm and collected.

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

Amanystria seems moderately impressed by the display, though doesn't comment on that.

"Apologies, but I fail to understand how this is relevant to memetics and antimemetics. Perspective is very useful, sure, but a perspective all-consumed with a singular colour doesn't seem particularly helpful for my work. Please do enlighten me as to what I'm missing here."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"As much as I would love for the removal of that restriction to be possible, there is no fighting the combined might of the Jailors, Bookburners, and their allies for organisations like the two of ours. They will do anything to protect their precious normalcy, including wiping the both of us from history, and they more than have the means to do so."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Well, I wouldn't be in this field if I didn't enjoy what I study. There's hardly anything I do, research-wise, that I don't enjoy. As for the hand, I'm not sure your lack of training and expertise in this field would allow you to be of much assistance, no offence."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."

[ewo-official]

"Oh, we have no issues with funding here, but the thought is greatly appreciated. Now, let me read through this paperwork." They take some time with their review of the rules, before putting the papers back down. "Well, I have encountered a singular potential issue. If I am to give records of my projects, the union would be required to follow mildly strict and extremely annoying secrecy policies in order to keep them, thanks to the two largest players in the extranormal sphere. I do hope that this isn't too terrible of an inconvenience to you."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Well, I know of a colleague who would love to join. Sadly, your mind is wholly incapable of registering the existence of. So even if I told you, you would immediately forget what you just heard, as has happened--" they look down at a screen "five times thus far. Aside from that conundrum, I imagine that Zudraann would be quite receptive, though his guild membership may prove an obstacle. Twobens may if his mood suits him at the time, but you would likely need to send someone else as I am unsure your hazmat suit would provide enough protection from his inherently strong magical nature. As for myself, I see no reason why I shouldn't join, so I might as well."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Of course, and I will leave that investigation to you, as it is far further into your court than I could ever hope to reach with confidence intact. Meteorology always was one of my weaker subjects, and none of my doctorates even come close to it. I'm sure you will have many a new word to coin in that pursuit."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"To answer your questions in order:" Forrest pauses to take a breath, "because you're as close to an archetypal mad scientist as most people could reasonably get, and every mad scientist needs drama; any moment can be dramatic enough, it just requires the right timing and framing, I could recommend some great fiction with similar effects for you to get the gist of the narrative device; there are always non-pataphysical mechanisms for these things, most commonly they're what most people refer to as 'coincidences'; and it didn't but I would assume that the authors found that to be a humorous logical extension of the trope and so included it within the narrative." Forrest takes a second breath. "Did you catch all that, or would you like me to repeat?"

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Oh, why, it's for dramatic effect of course!" Dr Forrest speaks in such a matter-of-fact way, as if this was plainly obvious and the only reasonable explanation. Perhaps overestimating Merlyn's comprehension of pataphysics, they make no show of elaborating and the statement is simply left to end.

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"If it helps, you can always imagine or create a face to yell at. And, yes, I do have thoughts about your thunder, though I am unsure as to whether they will be helpful to you."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Well, pinpointing the actual identity of an author is nearly impossible, but every author has their narrative fingerprints that can be used to track their influence on our reality. It's far easier to determine more general things about authors, such as their cultural storytelling framework. As for communicating with them, if you so much as think out into the great beyond they will likely hear it."

There is a knocking on Dr. Forrest's door. "Excuse me, Doctor, but I was wondering if you had heard about the MSU and the benefits you might qualify for if you joined?" says a muffled voice from behind it. @union-of-mad-scientists

Dr Forrest opens the door with a smile on their face. Behind them lies a desk littered with open books.

"I have heard of your union before yes! Joining up has thus far eluded me, however." What sounds like the ding of a coffee machine finishing rings out into the corridor. "Please, do come in, I have tea and coffee made."

Despite the mess beyond the doctor, it seems Merlyn was expected.

@union-of-mad-scientists

[ewo-official]

"Oh, pataphysics is just 'we know this universe is fictional so we're going to study it like it's a book'. Uses tropes and narrative and a whole bunch of other bullshit that's outside my department's court. I'm sure Dr Forrest could talk your ears off until one of you stops being able to hold a conversation. I don't know why, but pataphysics as a field tends to attract people who are incapable of being concise."

There is a man standing near Amanystria. He is not looking at them. But he is very pointedly not looking at them. As if he is actually intensely aware of their presence but is trying to appear like he isn't. He seems... perplexed. Confused. Even a bit uneasy.

@osha-cafeteria-worker

Amanystria coughs pointedly to get his attention.

"Excuse me, are you alright? You don't look too comfortable is all."