eulogyfornobody - Tumblr blog

[eulogyfornobody]

I am not broken I am not broken I am not broken

[eulogyfornobody]

Nobody ever got out of pain with fear and anxiety

[eulogyfornobody]

I worry about my friends leaving me behind because my life is so drastically different from them because of chronic pain and illness. I want to live too… to go on vacation… to make memories… to have fun

Just let me be carefree for once. I really miss that.

[eulogyfornobody]

Just hit me for real that I’m disabled… like really disabled by my symptoms. Sometimes I don’t realize that and beat myself up for not doing enough

[eulogyfornobody]

Give yourself more compassion. There’s no rush.

[eulogyfornobody]

if you have a chronic illness or disability i need you to hear this- this will be long.

you're allowed to feel sad/depressed/down, you're allowed to grieve your life and/or yourself, you're allowed to want it to be over.

you're allowed to have happy moments, you're allowed to enjoy your life and/or aspects of it, you're allowed to smile and just because you feel happy doesn't mean your pain is less.

good days are good and bad days are bad, and it's okay if you have no good days, and it's okay if you have mostly good days. it's okay if you're not diagnosed, it's okay if you are, and it's okay if you have lots of diagnoses. any of this doesn't make you any less valid.

no one gets to tell you that what you're feeling is not what you are feeling, just because you portray a picture of yourself to be something differently.

fuck being 'strong' and 'brave', you're surviving and every minute that you do is a minute of your life that's yours and only yours to choose how you live, don't let other's opinions on how they think a chronically ill/disabled person should live govern or influence your life. it's yours.

love you all, my dears

[eulogyfornobody]

Here’s why disabled people don’t like when books end with a cure. Imagine you’re a gay youth. After searching and searching, you finally find a book that has representation of gay youth. You read through it and it’s totally rad and you can really relate to it. You get to the end, and suddenly, through some miraculous force, they’re straight. Now do you see the problem?

[eulogyfornobody]

All these productivity tools I see makes me incredibly sad. With chronic pain that’s so unpredictable everyday I have no idea how to even plan my days, and I can’t push myself like people without pain or illness can. It’s rough. How do we survive in a world where planning ahead is expected, when we have no control over our bodies?

[eulogyfornobody]

Sleep anxiety

[eulogyfornobody]

[eulogyfornobody]

It’s hard to go to sleep when you don’t know what type of pain day you’re going to have tomorrow …

[eulogyfornobody]

[eulogyfornobody]

It's so aggrivating seeing your health get worse while you're helpless to stop it

It's so aggrivating to have to adapt to brain fog when there was no fog a month ago

It's so aggrivating to deal with so much fatigue, when 2 years ago, you were so lively

It's so aggrivating to deal with all of this and find yourself slipping into anger more and more

To find yourself holding your tongue so you don't hurt those around you because you're tired and don't have the energy for it anymore

It's so unimaginably aggrivating

[eulogyfornobody]

You are safe.

[eulogyfornobody]

“How a person reacts to your sadness says a lot about how long they’re going to be in your life.”

— S. Z.

[eulogyfornobody]

“‘You’re going to be happy’ said life ‘but first I’ll make you strong.’”

— Unknown

[eulogyfornobody]

Sometimes I’m amazed at how far I came in terms of powering through the pain… if I was in this much pain 2 years ago I don’t think I’d be able to do anything