endgameriverdalepodcast - Tumblr blog

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Sometimes I wonder if she should still be allowed to choose the preview sections, mija. More Arnold Palmer facts (and serial killer facts for all you genetic weirdos) in our new episode findable here!

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Riverdale Giving Superpowers:

Archie - Superman

Betty - 3 second Minority Report

Archie's DOG - AirBud

Jughead - DEAF?????

You couldn't give him anything fun???? Archie gets to beat up a gang and come back like he's in the movie Carrie meanwhile Jug's in Hawkeye but Cheryl won't lend him a bow.

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Riverdale is getting a season 7 and I don't know how you follow up the Air Bud Superman Minority Report plotline, but by god am I excited to see them try

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Don't tell Jellybean about the two of them, mija. She'll never recover. Find out why here!

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Would you get railed by the King, mija? Probably. Though maybe not if he uses one of those sticks as a strap. On a related note, we have an episode out today! You can find it here!

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I was CENSORED this episode, mija. These duckers wouldn't share their love with the world. Catch the drama not-live here.

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*mob boss voice*

You come in me, on the top of my daughter's bedding

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We've made it to one of the best episodes of all time, mija. Join us here for a journey into the 90s 80s undeterminable past to find out everyone just got a whole lot sexier

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How much would you pay a 10-year-old for drugs, mija? Find out our answers this week by listening to the new episode of Endgame here!

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There's only a few hours left for you to commit felonies in 2021. Seize this moment.

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IT'S THE SEASON FINALE, MIJA! WE ACTUALLY MADE IT! DEFYING THE ODDS! JOIN US IN CELEBRATION HERE

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Shoutout to Jason Blossom, someone so afraid of drugs that he runs away from home over it, but then opts to fund this plan by becoming a drug runner.

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endgameriverdalepodcast@gmail.com

please, just do it mija

also listen to our new episode it's funny

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A Trip Down The Black Hood Memory Lane (and how it changes because of season 6)

1) Grandpappy Cooper kills Grandpappy Blossom, who is actually his brother. However, in season 6 they retcon it so Grandpappy Blossom actually killed Grandpappy Cooper.

2) Grandpappy Cooper changes his last name from Blossom to Cooper, moves to a different house in Riverdale, and no one ever questions him about his life and apparently the Blossoms don't remember the murder. As of season 6, I guess he already had a family and the family just sort of vibed and didn't press charges, instead changing their name for like...some reason.

3) The Conway family finds out about the murder...somehow I guess, and starts blackmailing Hal's Dad about it. Now this doesn't make sense even a little bit, but it somehow makes less sense after season 6 because they're being blackmailed about being the victims of a murder, which is a UNIQUE experience.

4) Hal's grandfather decides the only logical solution is to murder the entire Conway family to hide how his father was a murderer/victim. BUT he leaves alive one of their kids...just cause

5) A home video is recorded where Hal promises to purge the town of sin and also unrelated convince a 7 year-old Joseph Conway to commit perjury on the witness stand so Hal's father isn't convicted of murder. This works. Hal loves his daddy very much.

6) 35 whole human years pass

7) Betty gives a random speech at a Riverdale celebration

8) Hal gets a war flashback to this home video and decides that it is now his mission to kill every sinner in Riverdale, including adulterers despite he himself being an adulterer.

9) Hal becomes the Black Hood

T L D R ;

A family is blackmailed over their grandpappy being the victim of murder so hard that they resort to murdering an entire family save one 7-year-old who is then convinced to commit perjury by his friend, and then 35 years later becomes the pawn of a serial killer who is also that friend motivated by his daughter's really freakin good town hall speech.

Just like our lord Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa intended all along.

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Season 6 Rivervale is like a little reward for everyone crazy enough to still be watching this show

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IT'S THE RIVERDALE MUSICAL EPISODE, MIJA! JOIN US! MEGA EPISODE! GOOD VIBES! LOTS OF CAFFEINE! HERE!

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My wife is a milk machine and I love it, mija