emumybeloved

[emumybeloved]

Just a reminder

Ace people can be lots of things. Aro people too. I dont want sex or romance for me but im not repulsed by it in the fictionnal world. I liked one person à lot, à long time ago, but didnt want to have sexual relations and so it didnt work. I think i was in love with him in my own way. I have been attracked to people brains more than body. I love à hug from people close to me but would not gave a hug or cheek kisses (when you meet someone here in Québec, you give those 2 hello kisses. Dont know if thats clear haha) you may shake my hand. Maybe. Aroace can be sexy. But that doesnt mean they want to have sexy time. They can try sexual intercourse and choose not to repeat it or maybe sometimes yes. You May want to live with someone or not. ( i dont get i would eamt someone always at home with me. Ew )You May find someone "hot " but that doesnt mean it excites you. You can have sexual needs but dont want to implicate someones else. *man when im on my period i became horny...) you May write or like smut (hello!) But. Dont want it for yourself. I have been told all my life "you just havent fiind the one" . Also, there was à lot of shame about never have had sex. People do find this weird and sometimes mock you. Im glad now we have words to identifiied our self. Even my psychologue couldnt help me 10 years ago. (And i told my friends just 3 years ago how i identifiie has) I dont know anyone who is aro or Ace or both. I felt pretty alone but à little less since i saw many people on tumblr like me or on the same spectrum. I refered to alastor asexuallity à little in the first chapter of my serie and will go back on that à bit in the next chapter.

[emumybeloved]

I don’t have anything in the works unfortunately to post, but I randomly remembered this long? poem that I wrote early 10th grade still a sophomore for an English performance task that I got an 100 on even though I did it on a Tuesday at 8PM because I got hit with inspiration.

The performance task was supposed to be a poem about your identity, but I absolutely despise writing about myself so I was really struggling until I read one of the base questions that was given to us which was something about perspective? I don’t remember, but I made my poem solely on that and now I wanna share how cringe it is :D

Also, I physically cringed at reading it because it’s basically a vent but poetic or in poem form lmao my mental health was trash when I was writing the poem lol

So uh…yeah— Trigger warning!! Mentions of wanting to unalive but with pleasant wording!!

If only I can drift into a deep peaceful slumber for the rest of eternity

Cringe ass title, I know but I used all my inspiration on the poem, not the title. I actually titled it last lol

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Birth. Each birth is filled with mirth or lacks mirth, perhaps in between.

Birth. Something no one in this world has asked for. So, why? What’s the point in living?

Just why do we exist? Do we exist just to exist? Even if we have a choice to do something with our existence, what is the point of it all? All our lives have the same outcome, death. So, why?

Such a thing eludes me, it’s an Enigma. Not only does it elude me, but surely eludes others as well.

In my time existing, I’ve been doing nothing but drifting along an endless stream. Slowly, but surely, drowning.

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Blank. A blank canvas is what I am. That’s what I was born as and what I still believe I am today.

No, that’s what I was, but still am at the same time. What a contradiction.

My experiences, whether they be with people or with an object, just experiences, they’re the colors painted on the canvas.

Yet, those colors aren’t mine. I stole these colors from people, whether they be from reality or from fictional series I appreciate.

I stole their colors. They painted me. So, I’m a blank canvas yet colors splashed on a canvas all the same.

For as long as I deceive them into thinking everything is all right, as long as I make sure they’re safe and happy, I can slip away and fade from existence with ease and relief. After all, what’s the point in existing to begin with if I didn’t ask for it?

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Humanity. Such accursed beings. Good and bad, positively and negatively, all things have a balance but from my eye, yet humanity does not.

I don’t like humans, but I don’t hate them either. Though, I’ll be glad to rid myself of being among them.

Sometimes, I take pleasure in my alienation. I don’t have to be "human" or be described as one for their existence is controversial.

Yet, they’re all liars. I didn’t want to be put in this deceitful and hatred filled world and I am certain others didn’t either. Even so, humans deceive one another for their own benefit yet they mask it by stating it’s for "the well being of others." Such blasphemy.

A tool. I’ve been a tool countless times to other humans, humans younger, older, or same age as me.

They’ve done nothing but use me for their own selfish gain. It angered me, but I withstood it with a smile painted on my face.

My pleas and cried fell upon deaf ears. They claimed to care about me, but once I start lacking in one thing or acting "differently" they question me and believe I’m putting on an act just to avoid doing whatever they want me to do.

Countless times while looking up at the night sky lacking its bright stars, I thought of how I would like to disappear from the world.

Yet, I can’t help but think about the effects it would have. I don’t require nor wish to bring anyone down because of my own selfish desire to disappear.

So, one can only dream of achieving such an act. The world is a cruel place, all are destined to be crushed in some sort of way by its weight.

Such a shame I was crushed by such a weight at an extremely young age that I was forced to grow up and mature.

If only the world was a better place. Then perhaps, it’ll be worthy of living. As of now? Not so much.

Christ on a stick, that was so cringe- well anyway, should I recreate this poem?? (I probably won't) This poem was also inspired by some quotes from books I've read too so yikes

Anyways...I wrote this headcanon thing awhile back about what I thought Alastor's love language would be and now I'm tempted to rewrite and upload it on here since I lost it- Hope you all look forward to that!!

[emumybeloved]

Introduction post !

My name is Kuni!

My pronouns are They/Them.

I’m 16, so I’m a minor. (That means no nsfw is allowed)

The banner above was made by me. (Not the art, just all the editing and that Jazz)

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— My interests currently are…

• Hazbin Hotel ( & Helluva Boss)

• Bungou Stray Dogs

• Project Sekai (Or Hatsune Miku: Colorful Stage) [Note: My profile and the banner above are from this game! The character is Emu Otori! I really love her character if you couldn’t tell ^V^]

• Genshin Impact (I’m not one of those weird people)

• And more! that I’ve forgotten

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I’m not new to tumblr or anything, but I recently came back to it and started using it again. I decided that I wanna start writing on here, like short stories, oneshots, headcanons, etc. But those kinds of things will be mostly of my Ocs rather than Canon characters (Characters that belong to certain shows, anime, games, and all that jazz).

I want to be a writer in the future, so I want to try posting some of my works and getting some criticism for it so I can do better next time!! I won’t really do requests or anything like that— but I’ll try to sometime in the future. I would appreciate some prompt recommendations so I can try writing scenarios, oneshots or headcanons based off them.

I will occasionally post art of my own if I decide to draw one day or something— I’m not good at it really, but I do it when the inspiration strikes me! >v< And..that’s all to my introduction post! I hope that you all enjoy what I have to offer and if you don’t, then please give me some advice or criticism, I would really appreciate it!!

[emumybeloved]

LITERALLY LIKE PLEASE STFU WHY ARE PEOPLE SPEAKING OF THINGS THAT THEY KNOW LITTLE TO NOTHING ABOUT??? OR THEY JUST COMPLETELY BELITTLE IT AND THINK ITS SOMETHING ITS NOT

“the intrusive thoughts won” “that’s psychotic” “i’m so delusional haha” “narcissistic abuse” “the weather is so bipolar” SHUT UP!!!!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!

[emumybeloved]

Yes it is!! I run the @shattered-shardscape blog, so I’d like that as the credit. Sorry if I seemed suspicious on my first ask, or I seemed rude in any way... -Windy 🌨

Oh! My Apologies! I Shall Credit You.