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so matt's absolutely giving scorched earth orders behind the scenes right. Not only are publically visible transfems dropping like flies, but every third person who musters up the audacity to comment negatively on Staff or Matt about this vanishes fucking instantly

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My friend was preparing for shooting the lunar eclipse when a plane came by

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🔔 Cadra Palmer VS C.T.P.C.🔔

DING DING DING, ring that bell!

Match number 4 of the A Bracket has finished, and with it the last of A Bracket’s 1st Round!

(Match results and writeup under the jump)

Cadra Palmer ✋💳

See the match results here!

Spectators were treated to an intesely techincal display, both in terms of martial arts and computer mastery, but ultimately the Palm of Credit won out!

Both competitors entered the ring with no unnecessary interference, save for a distracting flicker upon the screen during Cadra’s entrance which she took definite notice of. Once C.T.P.C. and Cadra squared up in the ring, however, all pretenses of grandieur wre quickly dorpped. C.T.P.C. did not yield any ground without a fight, but while wearing down the digital delinquent’s defenses she proved the duperior grappler. Reverse followed reverse, followed reverse, followed reverse in this techincal back-and-forth, until finally the two broke free from their confrontation and exchanged a respectful nod while the crowd cheered. Thus began the striking game. Though it opened with a fairly traditional set of slaps to the chest, both competitors didn’t hesitate to escalate. After a surprisingly heavy striking combo, Cadra came out ahead and C.T.P.C. unveiled their ace in the hole. The jumbotron screen’s viewfeed was hacked, and began displaying a livestream of Cadra’s bank account. After a simple series of taps upon their portable keyboard from C.T.P.C., Ms. Palmer’s funds began to drain. It would be a simple matter to reverse this situation, all Cadra had to do was interrupt the match in order to verify her identity with the bank. But she refused. Cadra watched as the fortune of her family, the fortune she didn’t earn, drained before her, never ceasing her assault upon the Netizen. Unfortunately for C.T.P.C., they had underestimated Cadra: Fortune Fared Little against a Fight. C.T.P.C. quickly stopped wrestling, opting instead to turn every piece of computer operated hardware in the bulding against Cadra. Cranes swung low to smash her, pyros detonated at the most inconvenient and damaging moments, and referees found their earpieces filled with a defeaning screeching static. Eventually, however, Cadra saw her chance. It was the briefest instant, but still she was able to strike C.T.P.C. with a Surprise Charge, thus securing the knockout and her win. C.T.P.C. stated after the match that they would be very interested in Cadra’s progression through the tournament going forward.

Your winner is Cadra Palmer!

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🔔Chef Sébastien “Rattler” Sevigne VS Brock Shamrock🔔

DING DING DING, ring that bell!

The third match of A Bracket has reached its conclusion, and a winner stands triumphant!

(Match results and writeup under the jump)

Brock Shamrock ☘ 🕖 

See the poll results here!

After a sizzling hot match where the blood flowed like whiskey, closing time at the restaurant proved to be at shamrock o’clock!

In a first for Emojimania Eliminator Tournament, neither combatant assaulted their opponent before the bell rung! Indeed, Chef Rattler even extend his hand to Brock for a respectful and sportsmanlike handshake. Against the protestations of the corwd, Brock took the proffered hand... And the two shook as equals marking a by-the-book beginning to the match. Shamrock and Sevigne then exchanged a series of tests of strength, first by locking hands and attempting to force each other two their knees (Rattler won), and next by challenging each other to bare chested slaps (Brock won). Equal footing thus established, the match began in ernest, with Brock seizing the initial momentum by keeping his opponent close to avoid the Rattler’s range-advantage powered strikes. Throughout all this, Sevigne demonstrated a wide array of technical techniques to break Brock’s holds and seemed unusually distressed considering his usual ability to keep a cool head in the hottest kitchen. It wasn’t until Brock secured the Figure Four Shamlock that Rattler sprung his trap: Exerting the bearest minimal leg-strength, Sevigne managed a shocking and nigh-unprecedented reversal of the Fightin’ Irishman’s signature move. Brock released the hold speedily, clutching his calves where he’d held the lock. The crowd was mixed, wanting to cheer Rattler’s perseverance and strength, but boo his escape from a legendary hold. The boos ultimately won out as the ref checked on Brock and Sevign reached into his boot and produced a spatula, which he’d evidently used for extra leverage while reversing his opponent’s finisher. Tossing aside the cooking utensil and not waiting for the ref to clear Brock, Sevigne was upon the irishman like an english copper upon an irishman. His assault was fierce and took every advantage to jam elboms into ribs, deliver closed fisted punches, and take every advantage of every one of the ref’s moments of lapsed attention. Throughout all this, Brock desperately held out and managed to keep Sevigne’s signature frying pan out of the chef’s hands. The match reached its’ climax when Sevigne finally managed to secure both the referee’s incapacitation and the frying pan. As he wound up to dent his cookware with Brock’s head, the irishman managed to narrowly avoid two swings before succesfully knocking the pan to the floor. After a quick and dirty eye-poke to Rattler, Brock dropped to the floor and swept his opponent’s legs, causing Sevigne to fall to his hands and knees above the frying pan. Not allowing the Rattler a second to recover, Brock delivered a Zeven O’Clock Curbstomp onto the frying pan and went for the pin just in time for the replacement referee to arrive and complete the three count.

Your winner is Brock Shamrock!

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B Bracket - 1st Round

Emojimania Eliminator Tournament’s B Bracket is completely live! Watch the the fights unfurl in real time, and vote in four exciting matches to influence the results! 

It’s the Greek Gladiator versus the Entrance of the Gladiators in B Bracket’s opening contest! Hál “The Ace” Grekko VS Gladys March, vote now:

https://emoji-pro-wrestling.tumblr.com/post/712722771990511616/h%C3%A1l-the-ace-grekko

Will the Space Jam be able to overcome the Swiss Bank, or will camp be foreclosed by the Mercenary Notary? Scoutmaster Cammy Parks VS Nio Folger, vote now:

https://emoji-pro-wrestling.tumblr.com/post/712802231935696896/scoutmaster-cammy-parks

Can That Bitch/Bastard’s enviable wealth and strength turn “Itadakimasu!” into “ItadakiSMASH!”? “Mister Moneybags” Annie Besson VS A. Keiko, vote now:

https://emoji-pro-wrestling.tumblr.com/post/713027881506406400/i-reblogged-this-to-my-main-by-accident-and-after

Biolence reigns supreme in the confrontation between the Bi-Sickle Champion and the Living Rockstar Legend! Cassiopeia Grekko VS Kidlat Nuñez, vote now:

https://emoji-pro-wrestling.tumblr.com/post/713081809631657985

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🔔Chéri LaPin VS Keyleigh the Cat🔔

DING DING DING, ring that bell!

The second match of A Bracket has reached its conclusion, and a winner stands triumphant!

(Match results and writeup under the jump) 

Keyleigh the Cat 🔑 🐾

See the poll results here!

The whole crowd were on the edge of their seats for this match, but ultimately the fearsome furry claimed the win over Chéri’s chairs of doom!

Choosing to forgoe their usual entrance in favour of assaulting Keyleigh at the top of the ramp, Chéri immediately drew the crowd’s ire. Basking in the boos, she sauntered down to the ring, carrying a steel chair in one hand and dragging Keyleigh along by the collar with the other. Setting the chair up outside the ring, Chéri rolled their opponent into the ring in order to get the bell rung and the match started before continuing her assault. Finally she threw Keyleigh out over the top rope aiming to send them crashing into the chair, only for the Cat to demonstrate their own namesake by catching themselves on the rope and skinning the cat in order to return to the ring. Motivated by the cheering crowd, the match’s momentum slowly shifted in Keyleigh’s favour. The fight turned into a more traditional wrestling display punctuated by the odd-combatants particular flair: Keyleigh being thrown into the ropes only to jump up and off of them back into the ring, only to land in his typical “Nyaaa~!” pose, Chéri beating Keyleigh down until he was on his hands and knees only to take a seat upon his back, Keyleigh unleashing his old finisher (the Kancho Key) only for Chéri to prove unnafected by its well-aimed strike... Ultimately the burlesque brawler was hoisted by their own petard. A high-tension back and forth acrobatics sequence took herself and Keyleigh up to the corner post, whereupon the two came crashing down onto the chair she’d set up outside at the start of the match. With Chéri landing first and taking the brunt of the damage, Keyleigh was able to drag them back into the ring for the Catnap, thus securing the victory.

Your winner is Keyleigh the Cat!

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B Bracket

Match 4

Cassiopeia Grekko

Kidlat Nuñez

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B Bracket

Match 4

Cassiopeia Grekko

Kidlat Nuñez

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Kidlat Nuñez

Emojis:  👨 🎵

Name: Kidlat Nuñez

Pronouns: He/Him

Nationality: Filipino

Entrance Music: Halik Ni Hudas, by Wolfgang (though Kidlat performs a cover)

Character Profile: Kidlat Nuñez is living the wrestler/rockstar/international sex symbol dream. Born and raised in the Philippines, Kidlat’s triple passions of wrestling, rock, n’ babes kept him from achieving more than the minimum passing grade in school. Nonetheless, under threat of his mom, he managed to persevere in his studies and art enough to secure a spot at the University of San Agustin pursuing a Certificate of Music Specialization. Throughout his year of  study, the young Kidlat impressed with his compositional skills and formed his own band which performed at a myriad indie shows. It was at one of these independent performances at a wrestling show where Kidlat rekindled his old passion and, after hooking up with both the Men’s and Women’s Champ, acquired an in to the industry. Wrestling under the name “Kid Lightning”, Kidlat applied himself to his wrestling with the same boisterous and hard-rocking approach he applied to his music. Rarely had a more in-your-face competitor graced the squared circle of South-East Asia and eventually the world. His fighting style is of limited technicality, focusing instead on hard hitting strikes and the occasional high flying move. Presentation and promos are Kidlat’s strength, from performing his own entrance to flirting with his opponents and/or their partners. Win or lose, Kidlat Nuñez will certainly make an impression.

Finisher: Bolo Punch (called the Tearjerker, formerly called the Jollibee Advert), Jumping Downward Elbow Strike (called the Lightning Strike), Moonsault (called the Stage Dive)

Design: Visually Kidlat’s design pulls from Filipino rockstar Perfecto de Castro, while the idea of the rockstar/wrestler comes of course from the great Chris Jericho. The last ingredient to the recipe of Kidlat was Emi Sakura, who pays homage to Freddie Mercury with her gimmick (as she considers him to be “History’s Greatest Performer”). Kidlat is a traditional Filipino name meaning “Lightning��. It’s important to note that Kidlat is wearing a jumpsuit and cowboy boots! The spurs come off during the match, unless a “no DQ” clause allows him to keep them.

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Cassiopeia Grekko

Emojis: ♠️ 🚳

Name: Cassiopeia Grekko

Pronouns: She/Her

Nationality: Greek

Slogan: “The bi-sickle champion.”

Character Profile: Like her brother Hál, Cassiopeia was encouraged to pursue sports from a young age. Although she practised wrestling alongside Hál, Cassiopeia turned her focus onto professional cycling. Competing around the world (including multiple top-ten finishes at the Tour de France), Cassiopeia proved herself a fierce competitor and outspoken champion of the peddles. However fast she peddled, however, the Grekko Curse soon caught up to the cycling prodigy. Succumbing to a knee injury (widely misreported as an ankle injury identical to her brother’s) cut Cassiopeia’s cycling career short, and any sympathy she might have received from the sport’s overseers was quickly shot when her virulently pro-socialist and anti-capitalist views came to light. Where the sporting community fell short though, family came through. Hál secured his sister a professional wrestling tryout and she took to it like a fish to water. Basing herself in her brother’s Greco-Roman techniques, Cassiopeia has made great strides in her newfound career and its different requirements from cycling. Despite an undeniable inexperience giving promos (cycling never required her to call her fellow cyclists a bunch of jabronis), Cassiopeia has nevertheless developed  a very striking image for herself: Tall and toned, her entrance incorporates two sickles (a reference to her political views) which she holds above her head to form the shape of her and Hál’s “Ace of Spades” logo.

Finisher: Lariat (called the Peloton Crash), Achilles’ Lock (called the Grekko Curse), Arm-Triangle Choke

Tag Team: Pantheon (with Hál “The Ace” Grekko)

Tag Team Finisher: Lariat followed by Olympic Slam followed by an Arm Triangle Choke (called the Triathlon, performed alongside her brother Hál “The Ace” Grekko)

Design: I wasn’t sure what to do at first with the rerolled Spade Emoji, and so without any fixed idea of tying her to Hál “The Ace” Grekko, I began drawing Cassiopeia with the idea of putting her in a cyclists singlet. As her muscular frame began to form the idea of framing her and Hál as Sports Siblings took shape, and once that idea took hold the additional connection of an injury forcing them out of their chosen sport and into wrestling snapped into place. As for the dual farming implements (or bi-sickles) forming the spade? Well that was just a stroke of genius.

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🔔Ca$h Fly VS Gordon Gourmand Match Results🔔

DING DING DING, ring that bell!

The first winner of the A Bracket, the first wrestler to advance to A Bracket Round 2 is...

(Match results and writeup under the jump)

Gordon Gourmand 🍫 🍕

See the poll results here!

After a fierce opening bout, the Battling Bon Vivant has managed to overcome the odds and defeat Ca$h Fly.

Opening the show, Gordon Gourmand entered the arena accompanied by his tag partner A. Keiko. The two had made sure to bring a packet stocked with a wide array of international snacks (courtesy of Keiko’s YouTube channel’s latest sponsor, AkibaTreats). Ca$h Fly entered second claiming “Champion’s Prerogative”, despite not currently holding any Championship Titles. He lipsynced his entrance rap while a much more talented rapper he’d hired actually performed it at the top of the ramp. The match initially went in Ca$h’s favour thanks to the Original Square’s strength advantage and technical proficiency, with Ca$h even striking the first blow before the bell had rung while Gordon was busy deciding which flavour KitKat he wanted to try before the match. This led into a striking sequence ultimately ending in a seemingly inescapable Cloverleaf from Ca$h applied to Gordon’s ankle. The bout looked like it might have had an early finish as Gordon struggled to resist tapping, but fortunately A. Keiko held up a bag of octopus flavoured chilli-chips. Thusly motivated, Gordon found the strength to drag himself (and Ca$h) to the rope in order to grab a bite and (as an added bonus) break the hold. This patern continued in different variations, with Ca$h securing an advantage only for Gordon to escape via Keiko distracting him with delicious food offerings. Fly finally had enough, exiting the ring in order to snatch the AkibaTreats box out of Keiko’s hands and throw it on the floor before stomping on the remains. This proved to be Ca$h’s fatal mistake. With a bellowing battle cry of “THAT’S WASTEFUL!”, Gordon threw himself on the offensive with a ferocity that shocked everyone. If the crowd had already been favouring Gordon due to his amusing food-related antics, this sudden burst of strength and wrestling skill got them wholly in his corner. With Ca$h finally worn down and left staggering in the center of the ring, Gordon knocked him out with the Delicacy as the crowd cheered “Bon appetit!” alongside him.

Your winner is Gordon Gourmand!

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I reblogged this to my main by accident! And after checking it multiple times to avoid just such an error! And now people have voted anyway so rather than repost, I must reblog here.

Apologies for the inconvenience 🙇

B Bracket

Match 3

"Mister Moneybags" Annie Besson

A. Keiko

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A. Keiko

Emojis: 🅰️ 🍰

Name: A. Keiko

Pronouns: She/Her

Nationality: Japanese, certainly

Slogans: “Mmmmmm, yummy!” “Itadakimasu!”

YouTube Channel: Keiko’s Cooking Delights

Character Profile: A. Keiko began her career in Japan, where her cutesy persona and love of food made her seem unremarkable among the many misguided idols who view wrestling as a stepping stone. Keiko, however, truly had a passion for the sport, one which only compared to her love of food. Growing her profile thanks to her YouTube channel, Keiko’s cooking videos, restaurant reviews, instant-meal reviews, and take-out vlogs soon got her an audience large enough to spill over to her wrestling career. Keiko makes use of her agility and athleticism to outpace and outmanoeuvre her opponents where her height and bulk comes short. Rapid strikes, and daredevil highflying form the basis of her arsenal, and when those fail a well placed slice of cake often catches her opponents off guard long enough for her to gain the upper hand. She and Gordon have formed a tag team for several years now and often appear in each other’s videos either as collaborations or simply wandering through the background of each other’s shots, food in hand and unaware of the other’s work. The two have published a book titled “Kitchen Tag Team” which contains their favourite recipes recently and have been promoting it.

Finisher: Dropkick (called Top-Tier Content)

Tag Team Finisher: Gordon feeds their opponent a bonbon at a crucial moment and then Keiko delivers a Dropkick from the top rope (called “Top-Tier Delicacy”)

Design: When I rolled up a cake I knew there would have to be a connection to Gordon, but I swear their matching poses were coincidental. Her physical appearance and wardrobe draw in equal parts from my OC and D&D character Gigi (who in turn was inspired by Emilie De Rochefort from Tekken, a common thread Keiko shares with Cadra Palmer), and the inaugural AEW Women’s World Champion Riho. I have purposefully decided not to choose what the “A” in her name stands for.

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“Mister Moneybags” Annie Besson

Emojis: 🚹 💰

Name: “Mister Moneybags” Annie Besson

Pronouns: She/Her (He/Him when the mood strikes)

Nicknames (insulting): That bitch, that bastard

Nicknames (affectionate): That bitch, that bastard , Genderfuckery Icon, Queen, King

Character Profile: Daughter of the original Mister Moneybags, Annie Besson opted to keep her father’s nom-de-guerre wholesale rather than alter it into a variant like “Miss Moneybags” or “Madame Moneybags”. Proud inheritor of her father’s legacy, Annie Besson brings the same swaggering confidence to her work. Able to rouse the anger of any crowd with a well placed flex or cutting insult (garnished with a soupçon of a French accent), the modern Mister Moneybags makes a fine antagonist in any storyline. Unlike her father, Annie favours a hard-hitting Strong Style enriched with a variety of infuriating holds. Mister Moneybags’ preferred tactic is to target one spot of her opponent’s repertoire (be that the limb they need for their finisher or a weakspot) and to work it until she can end the match with one smug and devastating hold. Prospective opponents should be warned against challenging her confidence, however, as an enraged Mister Moneybags has been known to lose matches on a DQ by breaking her opponent’s limb. While laying her opponents out for months on end while they recover always incurs a heavy fine, they don’t call her Mister Moneybags for nothing. Indeed on several occasions she has simply tossed a wad of cash to the ref with a smug grin on her face while her injured opponent is being carted out on a hospital gurney.

Finisher: The Torture Rack (called the Torture 500), the Backbreaker (inhereted from her father, called the Bankbreaker). Bankbreaker into Torture 500 is a combination reserved only for her most hated foes.

Design: Just as I had decided to make a concerted effort to add more women to the roster… I rolled up the Mensroom and a Moneybag. Thus while the title “Mister Moneybags” immediately sprung to mind I decided to take it in a more Charlotte Flair inspired direction and have her be an inheritor to the mantle. Other than that my aim with Annie Besson was simply to create a BEEG BUFF WOMAN whom you would thank for breaking your arm, and I think I succeeded. The Mister Moneybags logo was fun to design as well, consisting of a dollar symbol and a mars symbol merged into one.

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B Bracket

Match 2

Scoutmaster Cammy Parks

Nio Folger

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Nio Folger

Emojis: 9️⃣ 📂

Name: Nio Folger

Pronouns: He/Him

Nationality: Swiss

Slogan: Mild-Mannered Swiss Accountant.

Crowd Chants: Chanting “Nio!” whenever the referee would reach nine in a ten count.

Character Profile: Nio Folger is a precise machine of violence. A Swiss native with a predilection for numbers, Nio divides his time between professional wrestling and professional accountancy. Indeed, he’s often pulled into a myriad disparate storylines whenever the handling of money comes into question, such as the memorable feud between Ca$h Fly and C.T.P.C. following the latter's committed identity theft on the former. Nio Folger wrestles with a technical style mixed with the occasional high flying manoeuvre. However, when the mild mannered accountant has been pushed beyond the pale he will unleash true brutality upon his foes with his signature match stipulation: The Death & Taxes Match. While just as violent and dangerous as a traditional death match, the Death & Taxes Match carries the additional stipulation that the loser must pay the winner however many minutes are left on the 30 minute timer times a thousand. For example, a pin or submission with 18 minutes left on the clock would thus result in a $18000 payout from the loser to the winner.

Finisher: RKO (called the 9KO), Peruvian Necktie (called Four In Hand Necktie)

Design: If C.T.P.C.’s emojis were tricky to materialise into a wrestler, the number nine and a folder were downright difficult. I started out by looking up the word for “nine” in various languages to use as a name I liked, settling on the Swedish “nio”. As for the folder, I chose a surname that sounded like the word “folder” and gave him a job as a paper pushing accountant… Not realising until halfway through that I had just created the Swiss Banker character which the J.A.S. had proposed to Claudio Castagnioli as a parody of this exact type of wrestling persona. Regardless, I’m very happy with where I’ve taken Nio’s design. I feel it very quickly gets his character across. Also his tie has got the number 9 printed on it repeatedly, which I think is cute.

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Scoutmaster Cammy Parks

Emojis: 🏕️ ⛹️

Name: Scoutmaster Cammy Parks

Pronouns: She/Her

Slogan: “Number one!” “Only you can stop forest fires, but nobody can stop this fire!”

Character Profile: Cammy Parks was many things in highschool: captain of her school’s wrestling team, a skillful point guard for the basketball team, the youngest Falcon Scout in her troupe to acquire all Falcon Badges… But above all else, Cammy Parks was a role model. Rather than the coolest girl in school, she was the girl everyone was friends with. When Cammy made the jump from collegiate basketball to pro-wrestling, she brought her unyielding positive attitude with her. A consummate showwoman, Cammy walks down the ramp dribbling a basketball. Once she reaches the ring she then signs it before pointing to the stands and shooting from the mid-court. Her wrestling style draws from her amateur wrestling background spiced up with some B-ball flavoured high flying. This makes her a dangerous opponent, particularly since she has proven frustratingly resistant to any taunts or mindgames her opponents may try. This was demonstrated by the feud between herself and Ca$h Fly, wherein the Original Square purchased her Falcon Scouts chapter’s campgrounds with the intent of bulldozing it and turning into prestige condominiums, only to find that Cammy’s chipper attitude and belief in herself and her friends never faltered. She of course ultimately won back the campground in a 60 Minute Iron Man Match.

Finisher: Swanton Bomb (called the Slam Dunk), Cobra Clutch (called Watch Out For Snakes), and the Ankle Lock (called the Camping Essentials)

Tag Team Finisher: Launched Cannonball (called the Fast Bowlingball Special, used when teaming up with Monki Bowl and executed by having Cammy pick up and launch Monki at their opponent)

Design: The concept of the basketball playing wrestler has been an idea I’ve had percolating in my noggin for years now. After all, if so many American Footballers make the jump to wrestling, why not basketballers? While the groundwork was laid, it was the addition of the Camping Emoji that developed Cammy’s spirit and attitude. As far as real life equivalents go, Willow Nightingale is the obvious (and delightful) IRL reflection, while of course also considering the biggest and most wholesome ace face wrestler John Cena, Cammy is rocking those jorts.