eldritchlonging

[eldritchlonging]

2025 needs to calm the fuck down and just stay to yourself in 2026.

[eldritchlonging]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.

[eldritchlonging]

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

[eldritchlonging]

Do not apologize for defending yourself from trauma.

It's defense mechanism for a reason.

This does not excuse being mean, rude, or aggressive about it.

This is how we grow.

[eldritchlonging]

If we assume Jesus of Nazareth was an actual person.

They would be an Panromantic Asexual Gender Abolitionist Femboy E-girl struggling for basic needs like the rest of us.

If you disagree then please do so elsewhere.

[eldritchlonging]

I no longer identify as human, and as such no longer recognize the authority of human laws.

After all, I've already had my human rights taken away, so clearly they no longer recognize me as human.

So fuck being human.

[eldritchlonging]

Vines are just earth tentacles.

Thought you should know.

[eldritchlonging]

The right of ownership should start with one's own body.

[eldritchlonging]

🎉Congratulations 🎉

You're now breathing manually.

[eldritchlonging]

There are two types of "ghost hunters".

1) "I'm going to prove the existence of 'X'."

2)"I'm going to fuck a ghost."

[eldritchlonging]

My new favorite pickup line:

Let's pile into a clown car and make some funny things happen.

[eldritchlonging]

If you hear inhuman shrieking from the woods, don't worry. We just lost wifi again.

[eldritchlonging]

Hot take:

Highlander is an Isekai, there-by making Sean Connery and Christopher Lambert the overpowered MC's.

[eldritchlonging]

There are three types of witch.

The good Witch.

The bad Witch.

And the one that was stolen by the Fae as young children only to be returned as obstinate young adults.

[eldritchlonging]

I am :

Dead, Bored, Overstimulated, Underwhelmed, Horny, Touch Adverse, Starving, Unable to look at food, Numb, In excruciating pain, Tired, Wide-awake, Unable to move, Desperate to go somewhere, Lonely, Annoyed by people, ______ & --------.

[eldritchlonging]

Not sure if it's a hot take or not;

Hotdogs are just America's answer to sausage.

[eldritchlonging]

I was today year's old when I learned that solving mazes is a competitive sport.