dyslexicoconut

[dyslexicoconut]

[dyslexicoconut]

Big Dogs Attack the Pentagon

Chapter 1

“This is such bullshit.” The man let out a long groan as he threw his hands over his face as slowly sank into his office chair. Agent Jack Waters had spent the better part of the last year at his desk, working on filing reports and he still wasn’t adjusted to it. Jack looked at his computer screen, a blank PDF he had been working on for the last hour staring at him. In theory, this was one of the simplest forms that could be done, an evidence acquisition form, but in practice, it proved a most daunting task.

“Another day in paradise?”

Jack peered over his desk from his slouched position and over the cubicle wall as a familiar head looked back at him with a toothy grin.

“Hello Tony,” Jack grumbled.

“What's the matter Waters, a perfectly gloomy afternoon spent under fluorescent lights and in 6 square feet of a cubicle not enough to cheer you up?” Jack let out another groan and sank even further into the chair, barely even sitting in it at this point. 

“I know, shocking,” the sarcasm dripping from his words. “This is ridiculous, I shouldn’t even be here.”

“Well clearly someone disagrees with you, Do you ever think-”

“No.”

“That maybe-”

“No.”

“Just maybe-”

“No.”

“They have a point?” Jack forced himself back into a sitting position.

“No, no, no, no they don’t. I can understand a week or two of leave. Maybe, and I mean MAYBE a month, but six? It’s ridiculous! I’m a waste here, there’s someone lesser than me out on the field and I’m taking the seat of some pencil pusher who I’m sure would like to be here more than me.” Jack looked around, his voice getting louder than the hums and beeps of the office ambiance would allow. He turned back to Tony, using a much more controlled voice. “It’s just fucking bullshit.”

“I know buddy, it sucks,” Tony said in as genuine a tone he could muster. “But I’m sure you’re not long for this place, and I doubt they’re holding you for any malicious reason. I’m betting they just lost your paperwork, and this ‘extended leave’ nonsense is just them covering their asses.”

“Yeah maybe,” Jack said, clearly not convinced as he put his head in his hands. A silence fell over them, neither very sure how or interested in continuing to poke this bear. The silence lasted for so long that Jack briefly considered going back to work before Tony thankfully broke the silence.

“Oh, speaking of breakfast, did you hear that they’re taking away the coffee pot from the break room.” as the words left Tony’s mouth Jack whipped his head up, the look on his face as if he’d seen a ghost. 

“No, you’re fucking kidding me. Because of Jerry?”

“I mean legally they can’t say that it was because of him for defamation reasons, but I mean yeah what else could possibly cause it?” Jack, in disbelief, stood up and started pacing around his cubicle.

“God I still can’t believe that happened, how does someone almost drown in a coffee pot?” Jack and Tony stepped out of their cubicles and started walking down the aisle. 

“Yeah it’s ridiculous,” Tony replied, “but as part of the settlement and just to avoid anything else they’ve taken away all the coffeepots on the inner corridors, so if you want any coffee or tea or any of that shit you have to head all the way to the outer-western corridor.”

“Oh god.” Jack let out a groan that put all his others to shame. “God, how far is that even?” Tony mulled over the question for a moment.

“Hmm, well ballpark if you round the three then you get too fucking far. It’s like a quarter of a mile if you’re being generous, which I am.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jack muttered. “They expect people to walk a half-mile round trip just to get a cup of fucking coffee?

“Yup.”

“And we still can’t bring our own coffee in?”

“Nope.”

“What the fuck are we supposed to do then that’s a ridiculous conflict to have!”

“Well,” Tony whispered, “I hear it’s not official, but supposedly the new batch of interns they brought in are kind of exclusively for running coffee.”

“Huh,” Jack muttered, “that seems like a really convoluted solution to a problem that they kind of manufactured. I mean, it feels like the conflict is kind of forced on us just as a way to put in this new gimmick for no particular reason.”

“I mean yeah I can see that,” Tony replied, “but I guess sometimes that’s how life works, and you kind of need to accept the fact that it’s imperfect and move on. Maybe there will be some purpose for it to exist, and whoever made this decision knows what’s best and we just have to wait for ‘pages to turn,’ as it were.” Jack looked at Tony very quizzically, but eventually just shrugged.

They walked for a bit making idle chitchat before stopping at a large window, overlooking several hundred small white crosses. 

“Do you ever really grasp the scope of all this?” Jack asked while staring out the window.

“What do you mean? Tony responded, also not breaking away from the gaze out the window.

“I mean that all my time out in the field was just one random place to another, I never really spent time thinking about where I was.”

“Where you were physically or where you were spiritually?” Another long silence passed, but this one much less uncomfortable. 

“ I guess both, I never really stayed anywhere longer than a month, and after that, I was sent right along to the next mission. It always seemed easier to just make no connections or ties to the places I went, and in return, I’ve never really stopped looking forward. I guess in all the time I’ve been here, I never really thought about where ‘here’ was.” They both continued to look over the wave of white crosses and contemplated for a brief moment before Tony slapped Jack on the back.

“Well,” he said, “ That’s the way things happen down here, in The Pentagon, USA we learn to do them a bit differently.” Tony checked his watch and exclaimed, “Speaking of beans it is just about lunchtime, and I’m thinking we go see if we can make one of those interns grab us that coffee.” Tony turned away from the window and started walking, and after the briefest second, just as Jack started to see the world from a new point of view, he snapped out of it.

“Hell yeah Tony, I could use a cuppa joe!” he yelled, quickly catching up.

[dyslexicoconut]

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