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Recently I picked up ceramic dice made by Crit Hit Ceramics and they are so cool and weird!!

They have a matte feel to them, and have a beautiful handmade aspect, with little irregularities in the number pressing and painting, and of course the placement of colours and patterns - and they’re seemingly happy being thrown around on various hard surfaces, no chipping or damage that I can see so far. 

These are a little pricey (understandably) but so unique and cool I couldn’t resist getting just a few singles to add to the hoard! :) 

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As a DM I would allow this, but only if they do a full ceremony with cake afterwards

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on the topic of rewriting racist d&d narratives

it takes work, yes!

it’s worth it. for both you and your players, but especially for new players who can see the game in different ways than you

examples I’ve written that you should feel free to use:

-orcs: rather than give in to the weird “tribal savages who fight all the time,” consider connecting orcs and their inate strength/constitution to the earth. in my most recent campaign setting, orcs are descended from a human champion who bested an earth primordial; the primordial, impressed with their strength, blessed them and their descendents with powerful tusks and a greater constitution.

-drow: instead of the entire drow narrative being “they’re dark skinned and bad because they betrayed the fair skinned elves and their gods,” consider playing up their connection to spiders. perhaps they worshiped a spider God who gave them the ability to blend into their darkened surroundings. if you’re married to their current aesthetic appearance, take care to present multiple drow societies that have different outlooks; not a homogenous race of black skinned slavers. consider pigmentless drow, who’ve lost all skin color because they never see the light of day. drow who use echolocation? distancing your drow from the bad connotations carried by the current zeitgeist is a useful endeavor

-include elves of color in your game

-drop the ‘tribal’ aesthetic and the connotations that goblins and other monstrous races have. it’s lazy (note, tribes and other similar social structures are still perfectly valid social structures; but if the only example of them in your game world is the violent, monstrous people who seek to destory “civilized communities” that sends a bad message about real life tribes and their validity

-focus less on race and more on societies; a society can be evil or good, but a race cannot

-consider that fantasy races have no reason to conform to any gendered structures (especially our current human binary). dwarvish societies who express their varied and fluid genders through beard braiding. elvish societies who reproduce asexually. don’t limit yourself to what you can relate to from a 21st century human perspective

it takes a bit of elbow grease to decolonize your d&d, and the process is never done, but in my own experience, it’s only ever lead to more innovative and engaging experiences!

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The myth that knights could barely move in their armor has finally been dispelled by Thrillist

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“you can’t have an asian elf. elves don’t have human races”

*puts my mouth on the mic* excuse me mr. big bad dungeon’s master but i think it’s gonna be hard for you to run this campaign when you’re too busy being a shitty little bitch

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More dumb magic items for your D&D campaign:

A sword that inflicts emotional wounds

A hat that, when left alone with another hat, will mate and produce hybrid offspring

Negative gold pieces

A map that is the territory

Armour that becomes more effective the uglier the wearer

A living pocket-watch that never needs winding, but if you don’t feed it, it dies; it’s an obligate carnivore

Goggles that put censor bars over monsters of the Aberration type

An instructional tome in the secret language of ducks

A dagger that glows in the presence of one particular goblin

Angry shoes

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D&D adventure premises inspired by stupid bear puns

Premise: a bear is the only witness to a crime; the party must convince the local druid to awaken it so it can testify. Adventure title: Bear Witness

Premise: the party must escort the king’s valuable pet bear through hostile territory. Adventure title: Bear With Me

Premise: the party must retrieve a cache of powerful enchanted weapons from the lair of an enormous owlbear that’s somehow figured out how to use them. Adventure title: Bear Arms

Premise: a psychic werebear is telepathically possessing townsfolk and forcing them to commit crimes. Adventure title: Bear in Mind

Premise: a charlatan at the summer fair is attempting to sell trained bears as domestic helpers; events proceed as expected. Adventure title: Bear Market

Premise: the party must investigate the reported appearance of a great golden bear that the local temple believes to be an omen from their god. Adventure title: Cross to Bear

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Magic Vampirism Curse

The target gains an addiction to magic. The target is compelled to seek out magical artifacts and will drain them as if casting the Dispel Magic spell. The magical item must be equipped at all times to be drained and attuned to, even if the item is not normally one that requires attunement. Multiple items can be drained at once. If the target fails to fully drain a magical item every 3 days, the target takes a point of exhaustion that cannot be restored by a Long Rest.

After the target gains the point of exhaustion, they must fully drain one magic item to remove the point. Draining a magic item to remove exhaustion does not count towards their regular addiction counter.

Each magical Item takes a certain amount of time to drain based on the item's level. In addition, once every long rest, the target may drain one non-attack spell of level 1 or higher cast against the target. They do not gain or suffer the effects of the spell, and the drained spell counts towards their addiction counter as one day.

Common Items take 1 day to drain Uncommon Items take 3 days to drain Rare Items take 5 days to drain. Very Rare Items take 10 days to drain Legendary Items cannot be drained, an attempt to drain a Legendary Item costs the user 1 point of exhaustion every day.

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Potion Miscibility

For my 5e game, I brought back the rule of Potion Miscibility. Way back in the AD&D days, if you just started chugging potions, bad- or cool- things can happen. 

The world of d&d usually doesn’t have things like ingredient standards, many times the people making potions are those working over their cauldrons, or their own home alchemy set up. You never really know what’s going in to those hand-made potions. Unless you always get your same potions from the same alchemist, you might end up with some unfortunate side effects if you turn your own tummy in to an experimental cauldron. 

I took the AD&D miscibility chart, the current miscibility chart and added my own twist to it, and sharing it here for all to see. 

Potion of Healing - Common - 2d4+2- Rank Score 1 Potion of Greater Healing - Uncommon - 4d4+4 - Rank Score 2 Potion of Supreme Healing - Rare - 8d4+8 - Rank Score 3 Potion of Supreme Healing - Very Rare - 10d4+20 - Rank Score 4

1 Explosion! If two or more dissimilar potions are swallowed together, or too soon right after another, the drinker damage equal to the amount of dice and dice added using rarity equal to a potion fo healing. For example, an Uncommon Potion (4d4+4) + a Rare potion (8d4+8) would deal 12d8 +12 damage. All creatures within a 5ft radius must make a Dexterity saving throw or take half the damage dealt. If mixed externally, then all within a 10ft radius must make a Dexterity saving throw. Each rarity is given a score of 1 to 4, with 1 being common and 4 being very rare. The DC  will be base 10+ First Rank + Second Rank. On a successful save, they take half damage. 

02 - 10 Lethal Poison. Nether potion works. The drinker must make a Constitution save (DC 10 + First Rank Score + Second Rank Score) or die. If the save is made, the drinker takes half 6d10 damage. If the damage is enough to take the drinker to death, they instead fall unconscious with 1 hp. If mixed externally, then a cloud of poison envelops the area of a 10ft radius and everyone must make a Constitution saving throw. On a successful save, they take half damage.  

11- 20 Mild Poison Neither potion works. The drinker suffers a point of Exhaustion, and 3d10 damage. On a successful saving throw (DC10+First Rank+Second Rank) the drinker negates the damage, but not the Exhaustion. If mixed externally, a cloud of gas envelops the area in a 10ft radius and all within must make a successful DC saving throw or take 3d10 poison damage.

21 - 25 Potions cannot be mixed The drinkers race is abruptly transformed. At random, the drinker becomes a random humanoid race for a number of days equal to the rarity of the potions added. A Remove Curse spell will transform the drinker back to their normal form.

26- 30 Cursed Neither potion works. Instead, the potion acts as a Bestow Curse spell, with the effect chosen at random at the DMs discretion, and has a duration of a number of days equal to the added Rank score of the potions. 

31 - 35 Hostile Monster Summoned Neither potion works. Instead, the drinker vomits a black acrid cloud of smoke, which solidifies in to a monster. The monster is chosen at random from the Monster Manual, with a Challenge Rating equal to the added Rank Score of the potion’s rarity. For example, an Uncommon and Very Rare potion (Rank 2 + Rank 4) would summon a monster with a challenge rating of 6. (Chimera, Wyvern, Medusa...)

36 - 45 Potions cannot be mixed Both potions are totally destroyed and fail to function. 

46 - 55 Potions can be mixed They both work normally, unless the effects would cancel each other out, then only the potion of lower rarity works. 

56 - 65 Potions cannot be mixed The potion of the higher rarity immediately has the opposite effect, while the lower rarity ceases to function. If the effect of the potion would cause the drinker to die, they are instead rendered unconscious at 1hp. 

66 - 75 Potions cannot be mixed The drinker rapidly begins to change color at random, blue to green to yellow to pink and through all visible colors. The drinkers color settles and stops on random color, and remain that color for a number of days equal to the potions rarity scores added. 

76 - 85 Potions can be mixed, but not as expected. Neither potion works, but both turn in to another potion equal to the highest rarity, as chosen at random by the DM. 

86 - 99 Compatible Results The potion of a higher rarity effects are doubled for twice the duration, the second potion fails to work. 

100 Discovery The mixing of potions creates a special effect, one potion, at the DMs discretion, fails to work, but the other has it’s effects made permanent on the drinker, in the simplest form as chosen by the DM. A Remove Curse, or Dispel Magic spell may end this effect at the DMs discretion.

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Random Potion Generator

Use this series of tables to come up with random potions! You can use this as a DM to describe an unidentified magic potion that you give your players. As a player, you can use this when you create potions as a spellcaster or someone proficient in Alchemist’s Tools. Use this with the Alchemy Profession Guide!

image credit: Vera Velichko

Potion Vessel

Every potion has to be held in something! Roll on the following tables to generate a container for your potion including its material, shape, and its seal or stopper.

Potion Vessel Shape

Potion Vessel Material

Potion Seal/Stopper

image credit: Zoltan Boros and Gabor Szikszai

Potion Description

Roll on the following tables to create a random liquid! If you want your potion to be identifiable, try adding a telling ingredient to float in the potion. For instance, a Giant’s Strength potion can have a giant’s toe inside, while a Potion of Fly might have an angel’s feather within. A healing potion might have some medicinal herbs floating inside.

Potion Color

Potion Smell

Potion Taste

How it’s Made

Randomly describe how to create the potion. Roll twice or more on the Ingredients table. Then roll once for each ingredient beyond the first on the Alchemical Processes table to determine how each ingredient is added to the first ingredient. It might be mixed in a special way or treated in a unique way before it’s added. 

I should note this is for D&D fluff and narration and is not based in science. Dissolving Aqua Fortis and Mercury in alcohol will not make a healing potion so do not drink it!

Ingredients

Alchemical Process

Potion Effects

There are many existing potions, but I feel like a lot of existing spells could be made into potions. So, I added some. I based them loosely on spell scrolls but tried to move the better ones to higher rarities because potions are objectively better than scrolls (anyone can drink a potion, only casters can use scrolls).

If you roll for a potion randomly as part of a treasure hoard, be sure it’s of an appropriate rarity for the players.

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Dungeons and Dragons creatures, generated by neural network

The game Dungeons and Dragons has all sorts of lists of spells and abilities you can use for gameplay. I trained an algorithm called a recurrent neural network to generate more spells - like Barking Sphere, Hold Mouse, and Gland Growth. Then, with a larger set of spells in my training dataset, I trained a better neural net that generated even more - like Song of the Dave, Summon Ass, and Shield of Farts.

It turns out that in addition to spellbooks, Dungeons and Dragons also has monster manuals - books full of the names and descriptions of creatures that adventurers can encounter. Colin Fredricks, who created the RPG Sufficiently Advanced, was kind enough to send me the names of 2,205 creatures from the 2nd edition monster manual. 

As I had hoped, the neural network generated creatures that would probably be pretty awesome.

Owlborn Cat, Stone Vampire Bear Kick Spirit Hatfright Purple Bird Slug, Spectral Wolf, Chromatic Golem, Rain Human, Crystal Hound, Plant Fish, Astro- Wolfworm Ogre, Space Dog, Goblin Serpent Shark Mommy, Greater Giant, Dunebat Cloud of Chaos

It also generated some creatures that you should probably run from until you figure out what they are. (Though Dome Animal might simply be a cool turtle)

Brain, Fire Horse (Spider, Brain Undead Lake Man, Fire Walfablang Fraithwarp, Giant Fish, Sun of Lycanthrope, Wereladoo Pat, Great, Space Shadowstaffer Spectral Woof Greepy Jabberwont Animal, Dome Dwarf, Giant Burglestar Pigaloth Beeple, Desert Wendless Woll Memeball Marraganralleraith

There were 118 dragons in the original dataset, so of course the neural net liked generating new dragons. Some perhaps better-conceived than others.

Dragon, Death Seep Dragon, Purple Fang Dragon, Curple Lard Dragon, Dead Big Dragon Will O’Dragon

And it generated new unicorns!

Unicorn, Fumble Unicorn, Bat Unicorn, Black Willow Unicorn, Sith Sheet

These might be possible misses, though.

Man-Can Barber Beet Skull Feast, Stone Peg, Brown Kurt Durp Snake Golf Vampire, Putter

Enter your email here and I’ll send you a few more creatures that wouldn’t fit in the main post. Including the legendary Bung Dragon!

I’m crowdsourcing a couple more D&D-related datasets - see below!

Also, I thought it would be fun to generate D&D character names for a future project. If you go to this form (no email required), you can enter your character’s name, race, and class. Once I have enough of these, I’ll give them to the neural network and see what happens. Edit: wow, over 10,000 responses so far! (Check them out at this link) Keep them coming!

I’m also collecting character backstories! Submit as many as you like. https://goo.gl/forms/ReInNw0Tz0mwzTLO2 I will post some generated character bios as soon as I can figure out a strategy that works better than this:

There was the prince of the sun. He was raised by the arcane arts and accepted him to become a fire work and the pig of the scorpions. He was in the blood of curious by the world to be a part of the church, really with the bartender.

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the best part of pathfinder is that if a paladin breaks their oath, they immediately lose access to all class features

including access to their horse

which i choose to believe is because the horse can sense that you’ve done crimes and is ashamed

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Use this as a battlemap in your next D&D game

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Another Way Out

Been a while, here’s some advice about encounters for new DMs

This is especially true at low levels, there should always be a way out of a fight for your players, if they want it.

For example, they come face to face with a small crew of thieves guild members, ready to stab up the party. The players should have a chance to talk down the thieves, a chance to buy their way out or trick the thieves in to thinking that maybe now isn’t the right time to fight (though the thieves might come back again later with freshly sharpened knives). Or, if they can’t talk their way out, there should be an escape route somewhere. Running away is an option, unless of course the players just walked right in to a trap.

If the players want it, and they’re willing to put in the bribes, threats, quick talking, or quick rolls necessary, there should be a chance for them to escape. Even if they fail they should have that possibility, you never want them to feel like they have absolutely no other option when it comes to some rando on the street or something plucked from your roll tables that they don’t feel like fighting.

Of course, for NPCs the party have really pissed off or a Big Bad, this doesn’t necessarily apply.

If they do try to charm the big boss fight, and they roll ridiculously well or nat20 on them, don’t forget to keep that enemy in character. If she isn’t going to let them go, maybe she just tries to imprison the party, or she offers them a chance to join, or she tries to bribe THEM. Perhaps the player that nat20d has won her admiration, so she still attacks the party, but just doesn’t target the lucky player. Always keep your villians in-character, even if they fall in love with the PC. Nothing takes someone out of the story than by a Villian doing a 180 and becoming nice for no particularly good reason.

Unless it’s really funny.

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Credit to DnD memes on Facebook

Remember to R.E.S.P.E.C.T The Dungeon.

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when a bard uses vicious mockery what they say comes out sounding incomprehensibly bass boosted and that’s how it causes physical damage