djinn-sins

[djinn-sins]

Belial: But seriously, what is the real plan here that has to do with not fucking around?

Solomon: There is no plan that does not involve fucking around. But we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction.

[djinn-sins]

Astaroth: How do you want your coffee?

Belial: Black, like my soul.

Astaroth:

Astaroth: Belial, your soul is a latte.

[djinn-sins]

Solomon: Everyone synchronise your watches.

Focalor: I don't know how to do that.

Agares: I don't wear a watch.

Valefor: Time is a construct.

[djinn-sins]

Dantalion to Focalor: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...

Zepar: Cockroach ankles!

Dantalion: Ye- uh, what?

[djinn-sins]

Belial: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?

Barbatos: What? No, I—

Focalor: *enters room*

Belial: *jaw clenches*

[djinn-sins]

Zagan: What are you doing here?

Valefor: I could ask you the same question.

Zagan: I live here. This is my house.

Valefor: I should probably ask you a different question.

[djinn-sins]

Focalor: Is it still visible? Where Dantalion slapped me?

Agares: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.

Valefor: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.

Paimon: A palm reader could tell Dantalion's future by looking at your face.

Zepar: The phrase 'talk to the hand cause the face ain't listening' doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.

Focalor: ...A simple 'yes' would've sufficed.

[djinn-sins]

Dantalion: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Barbatos: For the dogs.

Dantalion: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs?

Barbatos: They don't know how.

[djinn-sins]

Zagan: *Gives a bouquet to Belial*

Belial: You know I'm allergic.

Zagan: That's the point.

[djinn-sins]

Zepar: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Zepar: *waves his finger and sings like he's in a Disney Channel intro*

[djinn-sins]

Focalor: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you.

Dantalion: Being a fish.

Focalor: Well, shit.

[djinn-sins]

Dantalion: I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested, let alone gotten a felony yet.

Valefor: Nat 20 Charisma.

Dantalion: That is NOT how that works-

[djinn-sins]

Barbatos: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Dantalion: That’s a snake.

[djinn-sins]

Zagan: What do you do when someone offers you drugs?

Focalor: Take them!

Leraje: Punch them in the neck!

Barbatos: Say thank you!

Dantalion: Offer them more drugs to assert dominance!

Zagan: ...

Zagan: no

[djinn-sins]

I’m not dead yet, just incredibly lazy and a huge procrastinator (sorry!)

so yeah, here’s some modern au twitter stuff!

[djinn-sins]

Solomon: You're standing on thin ice.

Valefor: I'm standing on the floor.

Solomon: It's an expression.

Valefor: It's a carpet.

[djinn-sins]

Barbatos: I'm so tired I could eat a horse.

Zepar: I identify as a horse and this offends me.

Valefor: I identify as offends and this horses me

Dantalion: I offend horses, identify me.

Zagan: Why would you eat a horse if you're tired!?!?