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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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fake texts w/ the ua faculty
ft. eraserhead, present mic, midnight, all might, nezu, recovery girl, snipe, cementoss, vlad king, & ectoplasm
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~ A/N: sorry for uploading so late today ~
🌾 tune in later today for “fake texts w/ the bakusquad”
☆ Master List
☆ Fake Chats
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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mha guys caught stalking your socials.
INCLUDES: KATSUKI BAKUGO, SHOTO TODOROKI, EJIRO KIRISHIMA
SUMMARY: while in class you notice a certain person looking through your socials, and I mean every social platform possible. looking at every post down your first, so you decide to confront them.
WARNINGS: implied gender neutral reader, vulgar language
MASTERLIST
REQUESTS OPEN!!
WORDS: 5.4K
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KATSUKI BAKUGO
‱his face becomes so pale
‱ he’s so embarrassed that he becomes angry that you caught him in the act.
It was the middle of your recess before it was time to resume back to regular classes. You were trying to buy something from the vending machine downstairs but forgot your wallet at your desk.
In a hurry, you walk back to classroom 1-A to get your things. Walking in you noticed that Bakugo was the only one in the classroom.
A slight smirk plastered on his lips, watching him scroll relentlessly over and over. Sometimes he would stop and pause, clicking a couple of more times until he scrolled again.
You didn’t want to disturb him, he looked so content with life at the moment. You made sure you quietly got your wallet from your desk.
As you walked towards the back exit of the class, you near Bakugo. You wondered to yourself what’s got him smiling like this until you see it.
He was on Instagram, looking at photos of you.
And he was far down your page
at least a year's worth of posts.
You’d seen a selfie you took in front of a cat cafe with one of your guy friends you haven’t spoken to in a while due to him going to different schools.
“who the hell are you?” He quietly grumbled.
Tapping his phone, your tagged list popped up. Quickly slamming his thumb on his account, he starts to scroll fast through his posts as well.
Letting out a quick snort, bakugo smiles to himself. “Of course, he fuckin’ goes to school there
” he snorts. That was obviously a jab at him, he seemed to be jealous of him and he doesn’t even know the guy.
Before he could fixate on his “competition,” he saw a notification pop up. It was a rather late notification that you updated your story.
he has post notifications on for your account?
Quickly clicking your icon, bakugo paused before he loudly sucks his teeth together.
“What the hell?”
It was a photo of you and your desk neighbor Sero, posing goofily in class. Around 30 minutes before recess began, Sero with his hand on top of your head and a middle finger shown on the other.
He read the caption on your story: “FUCK PHYSICS -sero #eviltwin”
The story flashed quick before Bakugo took a screenshot of it. His breath started to quicken, you could tell he was pissed. Quickly opening his dms, he clicks on Sero’s account.
“What the fuck is evil twin?” He spits.
Sending the photo, bakugo begins to type:
‘WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU’
‘DIDN’T I SAY NOT TO TOUCH THEM?’
‘I’m gonna beat your ass at lunch’
‘meet me at the bottom of the staircase at B hall NOW’
‘what the hell is even an evil twin? ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER OR SOMETHING?’
‘oh I’m gonna light your ass up’
Bakugo’s thumbs move so fast, spamming Sero with such ease and vigor. You see that Sero leaves him on seen, and you’d honestly do the same.
Typing out a ‘HELLO?’, bakugo starts to grumble. You start to feel heat bounce off of him, standing back you decide to make an exit.
But before you could even move your feet, bakugo jumps up from his seat and whips around. His eyes stare at the ground dart up to your soft eyes.
Words caught in his throat, Bakugo’s eyes widen.
Bakugo, shoots back in shock. He couldn’t even process your presence before he stumbled back into his seat with a loud slam. Startling you, you try and reach out to help him but he held out his hand and pops a spark making you shriek.
“are you okay?” You asked.
“How long have you been fucking standing there?” He yelled. His cheeks dusted pink as he screamed in your face.
stammering, you start to rub your fists together. Your palms were sweaty as you grew nervous.
“a-about 5 minutes or so!” you yelled.
“are you fuckin’ serious?” He groans, his hands shooting to his eyes as he rubs them in embarrassment.
“I-I’m sorry, okay? I was just coming in here to get my wallet for the vending machine and I saw you on your phone and I was just gonna do a quick little peak and then you just so happen to be stalking my account and-“
“Like hell would I ever stalk you!” He exclaimed, just flat-out lying.
This takes you aback, “so are we gonna sit here and pretend that you didn’t just curse out Sero because you’re jealous of him touching me?” You laughed.
Bakugo grew quiet, crossing your arms you let out a smug smile.
“Y’know, instead of parading around orders and making threats to people about not touching me like I’m your property. Maybe you should try and—I don’t know, make a fucking move?” You say.
A long beat of silence goes by.
You eye Bakugo down, his lips quiver. His chest heaving, as his face was red from embarrassment. Only his blonde spikes of hair were covering up the evidence of that.
You frown at him, maybe you were too harsh.
“Bakugo-“
Shooting up from his seat, he raced towards the door. The bell rang, signaling that recess is finally over.
Your lips were slightly agape, as you were still trying to process what just happened. You couldn’t even revel in the moment before your classmates walked in.
One by one they all get seated, settling in as they place out their textbooks for the next subject to be taught.
You didn’t realize how long you were standing there until you looked around and saw that everyone was seated, except for bakugo and sero.
The bell rang, signaling that it was time to continue classes.
“Is there a problem, “L/n?” Your teacher Aizawa voices.
You open your mouth to speak, but the heavy stomps of shoes cut you off once more. Looking at the doorway, you see Sero. Breathing heavily like he just ran for his life, his necktie untucked and a scuff mark on his cheek.
“Sorry, I’m late sensei!” Breathing heavily, you saw him lock eyes with you for a brief moment before walking past you, almost ignoring your existence.
Frowning to yourself you speak, “no sir.”
Talking quick paces to your seat, you sit down, huffing your breath you face towards Sero.
“Are you okay?” You asked.
Sero ignored you for a moment, cursing under his breath he then turned to you. “All good! Just worry about yourself kay?” He says. A fake smile was plastered all over his face.
Your bottom lip pokes out, you knew he was lying.
Turning towards the board, you gather your things and set up for the lesson. Writing some things down on your paper, your phone buzzes.
Picking it up, you notice that someone requested to talk to you on Instagram. Opening it, you read the account name.
@katsuki_lordexplosionmurder
you hesitated for a moment before opening it up.
‘sorry for blowing up on you back there’
‘you don’t have to respond to this, you have every right not to’
‘I fucking like you okay? Like a lot
‘please forgive me
’
letting out a sigh you start to type back:
‘apologize to Sero first, then we can talk’
Bakugo quickly reads your message, a long minute passes by before he responds ‘k.’
still shitty as ever, even in an apology...
around a day or so passes by before the both of you ever talk again. You’d see each other in class or around school, but you wouldn’t give as much as a side glance. Even tho Bakugo would be eyeing you down to where it felt like you thought you were naked.
You talked to Sero about if Bakugo apologized to him, which he said that he did a day ago. So why hasn’t he come to you yet?
It was a new day, and the bell just rang for recess. You decided to stay in your seat for today, scrolling through the nothingness of social media. You paused for a moment, turning slightly, you look back to see that Bakugo wasn’t in his seat.
Turning back you let out a deep exhale. You scrolled some more, growing comfortable in the silent classroom.
Liking a random picture you start to think of Bakugo again. Opening your dms, you mindlessly tap Bakugo’s account.
You wanted to say something, you just didn’t know what to say. Your thumbs hover over the screen, you were too scared to type. You felt that if you typed one single character that the world would crumble and the sky would fall.
Huffing out a breath you turn your screen off, as it fades to black. You notice a pair of amber eyes staring into the screen.
Eyes widening, you lean closer.
“Bakugo?” You whispered.
“Doesn’t feel good being watched does it?” His voice booms through the room. You jump, startled by his deep voice.
You see Bakugo let out a quick chuckle before sitting down in Sero’s seat.
“Bakugo, don’t scare me like that!-“
“After what you did to me? You were beggin’ for it” he jumps in.
A moment of silence goes by

“Listen-“
“I get it if you don’t want to talk to me again
” Bakugo admits.
“It’s just—I’ve never felt this way about someone, okay? I like you a lot, and I want you to be mines. These people out here aren’t right for you, I wanna the only guy! You’re right I am jealous, I mean- who wouldn’t be? look at you!” Bakugo stammers.
You looked into his eyes for a moment, letting out a smirk as you turn toward him.
“After classes” you grin.
“What?” His head slightly turned in confusion.
“After classes
I’ll give you chance for you to show me that you’re the right guy” you bit your bottom lip, nervous for his reply.
Bakugo is still for a moment before showing his signature devilish grin, “shit.”
“It’s a date?” You asked innocently, extending your hand out to shake you smile at him. He looks down at your hand, quickly taking your hand he softly shakes it.
“It’s a date”
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SHOTO TODOROKI
‱ surprisingly upfront with it
‱ what’s he got to hide?
At first, you caught him secretly going through your tik tok. Sitting behind him in class you would see your face on the screen as you lip-synced, danced, or talked.
Each video he would save and scroll past another one. Which made you grow uncomfortable.
Then he realized that he didn’t do it just to you but he did it with everyone else’s posts. This made you let down your guard a little.
I mean, who doesn’t stalk their friends from time to time? It’s good to see what your friends are doing within their “inner,” social media lives.
So you let it go.
You continued being friends with Todoroki, as he had no idea you knew he stalked him on social media. You went on and everything went normal.
Until one night you received a notification on Instagram.
‘@shoto has followed you!’
Looking at the notification, you thought nothing of it. Turning into your bed, you began to rest your eyes. Falling deeply into slumber, you were jolted away by the buzz of your photo.
A tired groan passes your lips, turning over you soak your hand down onto the nightstand. Patting around you find the familiar texture of your phone brush against your fingertips.
Letting out a sigh, you flip your phone over. Eyes hooded, closing completely as your screen flashes you. Quickly blinking, you adjust to the lighting of the screen.
“Another notification from Instagram?” You muffled into your pillow. Opening it, you see that Todoroki liked your most recent photo of you.
Another notification pops up on the top of your screen:
@shoto has commented on your post!:
@shoto: beautiful.
Was this a mistake?
You couldn’t believe your eyes, this must be a good dream because no way could this ever be reality.
Then it happened again, another notification on a post from a week ago. Tapping your screen at the speed of light, heat rises to your cheeks.
It was a photo of you holding up your favorite figurine you just bought with your savings. The caption read: ‘I GOT IT YES BITCHES!!’
@shoto: lol
@shoto: so cute
He must be on drugs, or maybe he was hit with a flirtatious quirk? Wide awake, you sit up in your bed. Blankets once covering your body slid off as the cold air of the room hugs your body.
Posture terrible, you bend down eyeing the screen. Neck extended and eyes wide, as you received another notification.
It was a video of you and your friend holding hands, walking at a festival. Laughing like happy idiots.
Another comment from Todoroki appears.
@shoto: should’ve been me holding your hand :(
Your mouth shoots agape, you quickly took a screenshot of the comment.
You genuinely could not process what was happening at the moment. Snapping your head towards your alarm clock it read 10 PM, you let out a sigh.
At least you have time to fall back asleep.
You sent the screenshot to your friends, pleading for advice. But you knew everyone was asleep due to how strenuous the hero drills were this evening.
You quickly place your phone on “do not disturb’” mode. Shutting your phone off you place it back on your nightstand with a “plop”. Smashing your face into the pillow, you let out a much-needed loud sigh.
‘Is he being hacked right now?’
‘He has to be getting hacked.’
‘There’s no way on earth Todorok would be saying this to me!’
It would take about another hour or two of tossing and turning before you were able to fall asleep again.
The room started to feel hotter than usual, stirring in your bed your eyes open. You were too tired for this right now. Slipping out of the covers, you walk over to your fan, turning it onto the highest setting. You huff out a breath and turn back around, only to be stopped dead in your tracks.
“can’t handle the heat?
eyes snapping wide, you whip over to the deep voice you heard.
"Todoroki!" you screamed, your body still from shock. you see him in the bed, under the covers, a smug smirk cast over his lips.
"what are you doing here, you're not allowed in anyone else's dorm past 8pm-"
"why not? you're scared someone will catch us?" he asks, ripping the blankets off your bed as he gets up. his body moving closer towards yours, you still couldn't even move due to the amount of shock.
looking into his multi-colored eyes, your mouth parted, "h-how did you even get in here?" you whispered. feeling a warm hand grip your waist, you jump, startled by the sudden touch of his hand.
"don't touch me there!" you whimpered.
your face looking towards the ground as you cower in embarrassment, this earns a chuckle from todoroki's lips. Leaning in closer, his other hand grabs your face softly.
"look at me," he says. voice stern yet soft, you shyly look up. eyes hooded and breath jagged. you shakily set your arms around his shoulders.
"you're mine" he whispers as he slowly leans in. you gasp at his words, biting your lips to begin to lean in as well.
your eyes close, as soon as you know it. the smoldering warmth you felt faded as you were shaken by the airy coldness of your dorm. eyes shooting open, you turn over to look at your alarm clock.
8:45AM!
you're late for class!
once you finished jumping around and getting yourself together, you dashed out of your dorm with a loud slam of the door. running across the courtyard and into the academic side of the school, running up the grand stairs and long halls. you finally make it to the class.
out of breath, you crash into your seat and bang your head against the desk.
"you're late today l/n, especially on count day, marking you down an extra five points." your teacher Aizawa speaks. You couldn't even mutter a complaint because you were so tired.
as the day went on, you couldn't stop staring at the back of todoroki's head. that was the dirtiest dream you ever had...
soon it was time for hero training, today the student just needed to focus on themselves and build their quirk.
you were looking at todoroki the whole time, and when you weren't, he would look at you.
you can't shake what you experienced last night, even if it was just a dream, it felt so real...
you talked to your best friend Jiro, as she was also suspicious of todoroki's new confidence, she was just as shocked as you were when you showed her all of the comments and messages he left you.
"let him come to you," she said.
"no, go after him! guys like it when a woman's in charge!" sero says.
"I think you just need to wait it out, let the future take its course and the universe will work it out..." says hakakure.
you decided to take hakakure's advice.
as the rest of the day went on, the sun falls and the day was still into another dark night. here you were once again, preparing to fall asleep as you wrapped yourself in your blankets. kinda hoping to have the same dream you had the night before.
growing comfortable with the silence, your phone buzzed.
eyes opening you reach out for your phone, turning it on you see that todoroki commented on your story. opening the notification transports you to your dms.
the story was just a photo of half of your face, eyes tired as it was around 30 minutes after you ran late from class today.
you finally start to read the message, word for word your heart falls to the bottom of your feet. the comment sends you into a frenzy.
@shoto: you look so tired but you're still so pretty.
that's it.
jumping out of your bed you read the clock, 10:45. it's well past curfew but you didn't care. if todoroki didn't care in his dreams, neither do you.
putting on your house shoes you race out the door.
after one elevator ride and a long walk down the hall, you arrive at the front of his door. you were about to knock on his door until you realized you were actually there.
what were you even going to say? hey I had a dream we made out in my room and I want you to stay out of my dreams and my dms? Yeah.
hands-on top of your head, you let out a quiet sigh. "shit, here goes nothing." stepping for award, you place three quick knocks on his door, staring at his name plate on the door, you gulp.
hearing some shuffling, you look down and see the lights switch on past the crack of the door. blinking, you wait anxiously. another moment passes by until the door knob starts to jiggle.
biting your lip, the door swings open. appearing a more laid-back todoroki that you've ever seen. his hair is a little messy from laying in the bed and all he has on is pajama shorts and a white t-shirt.
his eyes shift onto you, his eyes widen only a little. as a soft smirk is shown on his face. "l/n...w-what are you doing here?" Todoroki stuttered.
if you didn't mistake yourself, he almost sounded flustered to you.
"um, I just wanted to talk to you about something if that's alright. I know it's past curfew and I really shouldn't be here but I can't wait any longer" you say, a sigh passed by your lips.
Todoroki leans out the door, looking left and right, then to the security camera a door down. Quickly, he grabs you by the arm and gently pulls you into his room.
you close the door with a quiet thud, turning around you look around todoroki's dorm. it's so...empty?
the modern Japanese-style room was very much his style, he didn't really have any posters or figurines you could base any of his interests on. but that conversation is for another day.
kneeling down on the ground, you sit on your feet. hands placed on your lap, your face was unreadable. you were nervous yet so excited.
you were in todoroki's room, alone, after curfew.
"what did you want to talk about" todoroki's voice was soft. looking around you grew nervous, "well...I wanted to talk about you, and how you've been stalking my socials...and stuff? I don't know" every word you spoke grew quieter and quieter.
balling your hands into fists, you look down at the floor.
"stalking? I don't understand" he says, a frown present on his lips.
"but you do!" you blurt, your hands flung in the air which causes todoroki to jump back. you gasp, slapping your hand on your lips, you close your eyes in embarrassment. hands slowly shifting from your mouth rest on top of your eyes. "but you do todoroki," you quietly groaned out.
"the late-night notifications! do you know I get those? I see you flirt with me and compliment me and all that other stuff, I caught you almost halfway down my profile the other day todoroki."
hands still covering your face, if they were uncovered you would see the priceless pink blush dusting across todoroki's face.
"I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't know you could see that...I thought I could like and comment on things anonymously...apologies."
uncovering your eyes, you notice todoroki slightly bows, the blush still on his face. You quietly scoff, "who told you that you can anonymously comment and like things on Instagram?" you asked.
"Denki told me, he helped me set up my account as well-"
a groan escapes your lips as your body slowly sinks to a bow. "I'm going to fucking kill him!" your yell is muffled by the floor. Rising up again you frown at todoroki.
"Just...I know now that it's not your fault and you really don't know any better, but could you please stop?" you say.
"I don't understand why I should, everything that I said about you is true, I meant it l/n. I think you're so beautiful and-"
"please! I can't handle you doing all of this because if this keeps on going I'll have more dreams about you!" you yell.
"you dream about me?" todoroki asks, his voice filled with hope and adoration.
"what!" you grow warm in the face at this. stumbling up from your feet, you race for the door. Quickly opening it, you turn, giving a respective bow you quietly shut the door behind you.
Todoroki hears your quick stomps and the ringing of the elevator.
a moment passes by, smiling to himself he plops himself down into his bed.
staring at the ceiling he lets out a smug smirk.
"bullseye."
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EJIRO KIRISHIMA
‱ was happily chilling in class looking at your tik tok until denki catches him in the act.
‱ was very embarrassed, but you fount it absolutely adorable.
It was another regular day inside UA, class 1-A. Everyone talking whilst doing their assignments, slowly reaching the goal of becoming the next generation of top pro heroes.
And within this class, there are the slackers.
And that slacker is Kirishima.
Slouched down in his seat, his phone hidden under his desk as he scrolled relentlessly through your tik tok. Hypnotized by your every act.
Sometimes he would chuckle to himself, seeing how cute you were. Whether that be you should dance with one of your classmates. Or seeing the way you sing your heart out at one of your favorite songs.
You were everything to him.
It was an accidental infatuation, really.
One day you so happened to pop up on his for you page. Surprised, he curiously went through your page.
All 500 hundred posts to be exact. Every. Single. One.
He didn’t mean to really, he just was so amazed by you. Sometimes the people you see on a regular daily basis aren’t who they actually are.
You were more confident in yourself on your page. You were bold, loud, and funny, he never saw this side of you. Maybe in a sparring battle, but that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Sometimes when he’s hanging out with Sero, he’ll show him a tik tok of you (from a year ago that he saved) and just go off and fawn over you. Which heavily irritated Sero.
“Look at the way they’re dancing, isn’t it cute?”
“Dude, did you know l/n had their hairs died red before they came to this school? We could’ve totally matched!”
“Have you seen l/n’s new post? It’s amazing!”
It was fine at first, Sero gets it. He’s got a crush, but now it was all he’d talk about when they’d hang out.
“Dude, why did l/n make a tik tok about having a crush on a guy in our class!” Kirishima exclaims, a worried expression plastered on his face.
“If you want them, go get 'em instead of blabbering to me about it!” He’d complain.
Kirishima rolls his eyes as he swings back and forth on Sero’s hammock. “Dude, they’d never go for me.”
Sero strummed a couple of notes on his guitar, “if you won’t tell them you like them, at least tell them you look at their tik tok all day~” Sero sarcastically sings, making a little jingle out of his rude statement.
Kirishima’s swinging comes to a halt.
God, you don’t even know he knows you have an account.
Kirishima does follow you, but on a new account, he just made up that kinda looks like a bot you’re too lazy to remove, so you just keep it.
Swallowing his spit he sits up from the hammock, “if l/n ever found out that I have their tik tok, I will off myself.”
And here we bring it back to present day.
You just posted an hour ago on tik tok.
You were doing some random hand dance with Mina at lunch. He’d watch the way you’d laugh when you or Mina would mess up. The multiple takes and the fit of laughter.
He loved the video so much, he found it so organic and personal. Like he was actually there across from the table. He smiles at the screen watching it over again.
His smile faltered only a little when he gets another notification that you posted something.
Quickly pressing the notification, Kirishima’s heart stops.
He didn’t know what song was playing, and what words you were singing. But you looked HOT.
You had an entirely new look. You transitioned from regular pajamas to a whole other cooler outfit. Kirishima bends lower into his desk, making sure that only his eyes get to get to lay on your beauty.
Kirishima likes and saves your post with the quickness. He didn’t care if he was the first ever to interact with your post. At least you know he’s not some bot.
As Kirishima soulfully enjoyed the video you posted, Denki finally walks into class. An hour late.
A scold here and there from Mr. Aizawa, and he reaches his seat. Falling down with a thud he greets his next-door seat buddy.
“What’s up, man! Dude, I couldn’t sleep last night until the early morning and then my alarm didn’t go off! I just said fuck it and took my time today” Denki vents, a defeated smile portrayed on his lips.
Looking at his friend, he noticed how hunched up he is in his seat. “Dude?” Denki says, still no reply.
Kirishima was so deep into thought whilst watching the video of you. He started to think about his deepest fantasies.
What if you sang to him like the way you sang in your tik toks? What if the both of you were a couple?
He’d imagine the dates he would take you on, the way you smile, the way you laughed, it was all worth it at the end of the day.
He’d imagine how he’d kiss you and how you’d kiss him. Arms tightly wrapped around your waist as you sat in his lap, going at it for hours until your lips were swollen and you couldn’t give away anymore more breath.
This makes Kirishima’s breath hitch, what other things would you guys do?
What if you guys were a couple until graduation? He would definitely propose to you. Imagine the wedding the both of you would plan. The reception would be beautiful.
Kirishima really started to melt when he imagines the honeymoon. He wanted to go somewhere warm and tropical, maybe the Bahamas or the Maldives. He thinks you would like the Maldives, as he would too.
A blush castes over his face as he still watches the video of you over and over again. He’d imagine the night of your honeymoon.
Can he give you children? He thought.
If you can’t, he’ll find a way that night–
“Dude!”
Kirishima jumps harshly at the loud voice that called his name.
Denki buffs out a breath, Kirishima sees Denki standing from his seat as he surrounded Kirishima.
“I’ve been calling you for the last, like, 3 minutes!” He exclaimed.
“S-sorry man, j-just deep into thought” Kirishima says. A blush was still present on his face.
“Whatever, anyways as I was saying–“ Denki sits in his chair, his eyes so happen to shoot down towards Kirishima’s phone.
Denki paused at this, a devilish grin showing on his face. “No fucking way dude! You were stalking l/n’s page!” Denki exclaims, laughing enough for everyone to hear.
“Kaminari! Detention!” Aizawa barks.
Denki didn’t even care, a smile still on his face he starts to laugh.
“Dude!” Kirishima grows red at the loud announcement Denki makes, sinking into his seat he covers his head.
“What is he doing?” A voice says.
Kirishima’s eyes shoot wide, looking behind him he blinks. Two seats behind him he noticed you, leaving out the aisle in confusion.
“L/n! Get up, get up, get up! Kirishima’s stalking your freakin tik tok!” Denki laughs. Your bottom lips was pursed out, you were still confused as to what was happening as you slowly gained height out of your seat.
You were walking towards him, oh god.
Kirishima was so embarrassed that his hands were on his face the whole time. He didn’t even realize that his phone was on his desk still playing the video you posted over and over again.
Placing your hands on the two desks behind Kirishima and Denki, you crouch down. “What’s going on?” You say, you were also quiet. As he would assume no one really knows of your tik tok like that but him and a select few.
“Kirishima stalks your!–“ before he could finish, you slapped your hand on top of his mouth. “Quietly!” You whispered.
Uncovering your hand Denki leans down into your ear, telling you about how Kirishima was watching a tik tok of you over and over again. Looking over you eye Kirishima down.
Kirishima swallows his spit as he uncovers his face, the red blush still painted on his face like red roses sprawled out within a garden.
“H-here” he trembles. Reaching for his phone he extends it to you. With a fierce snatch, you scroll through your tik tok, seeing that he at least liked or saved all of your most recent posts. You didn’t even want to know how far this goes down.
You scrolled some more until you stopped on a particular post. “You’ve seen this one, Kirishima?” You asked. Holding the phone out, he leans in staring at the screen.
“Y-yes” he stuttered.
It was the tik tok of you talking about you having a crush on a guy in your class. Letting out a sigh, you stand back up.
“You wanna know who it is?” You say. Kirishima pursed up at your question, his head shaking with a shy nod.
Smiling you reach down, closing the space between the both of you. You grab the back of his neck, which makes Kirishima let out a jagged breath.
Falling close to his ear, you whispered.
“You really wanna know?” You teased.
You could hear Kirishima swallow his spit hard, and he nods again. “Yes—I do” he whispers.
“It’s you.”
Kirishima’s eyes snap wide open, snapping his neck towards your face, he sees you let out a giggle. He shoots up from his seat. Walking backward he stumbled out of the classroom.
Before you could chase him out, you hear a loud thud.
“Kirishima just passed out!” You hear Momo shout.
If Kirishima died today

He’d die a happy man.
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Omg, guys, thank you all so much for all the support and new follows!!! I just saw my post show up third on one of the Bakugo hashtags! And some of my posts were recommended under others. I’m so happy right now.
– lovelyiida<3
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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They Turned into Cats
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Anon asked: deku/baku/todo turned into cats and their s/o’s gotta take care of them! basic things like feeding, taming, cuddling, grooming and bath time for the bois đŸ€—
A/N: Thank you for requesting, anon! If you don’t mind, I put a little twist
tbh i think i had too much fun with Todoroki’s 😅 Had to repost it bc i’m back again with the ‘tags are not working’ saga for the third time.
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PAIRINGS | Bakugou x Reader, Midoriya x Reader, Todoroki x Reader TYPE | Headcanons GENRE | Fluff, Crack TAGS & WARNINGS | Mentioned Nudity
『BNHA Masterlist』
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「 B A K U G O U 」
You were just reading your daily dose of shoujo manga when someone knocked on your door.
Opening it, you saw Kirishima, Kaminari, and a
cat?
As your eyes locked with the cat’s, you thought it was oddly familiar with its blonde fur and crimson eyes.
“Y/N, we need you!”
Apparently, they were trying to wash Ba— HISS
Every time they try to say its name, the cat would aggressively hiss, causing them to shiver in fear.
Continuing their story, they were supposed to wash the cat, but it wouldn’t let them. Hence, the scratches and bite marks splayed all over their arms.
Keep reading
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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Incorrect MHA-47 (Bakudeku+Reader)
Aizawa: [Causually strolling through the dorms]
Y/n, Deku and Bakugou: [In bakugou's dorm together]
Y/n: I can't believe you're actually allowing me to touch it.
Izuku: Well if you're gonna do this you have to, so...
Y/n: It's pretty long
Aizawa: [freezes] Wth?
Bakugou: Yeah, yeah whatever
Y/n: Yours too Izuku
Izuku: Sorry, I guess that's my bad
Y/n: They're so soft
Bakugou: Can you just stop touching it and get this over with?
Izuku: Kacchan! Don't be so hard on her!
Izuku: Thank you for doing this again Y/n
Y/n: Eh it's no problem. I was bored so I thought why not? I'll just have be careful since this is my first time.
Bakugou: So you mean to tell me you've never done this before?
Y/n: Let's not get into the details
Aizawa: NOT ON MY WATCH!
Aizawa: [slams door open to see Y/n in middle of cutting Bakugou's hair with Izuku next to her]
Aizawa: Oh thank goodness
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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I think I might like you (Rody x reader)
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"Careful" you warned Lala as you helped her pour the eggs into the large bowl that sat on the counter. Roro stood to your right holding a wooden spoon in his hand waiting to stir the ingredients. It was Rody's birthday and you were helping them bake him a cake to surprise him.
"Do you think he'll like it?" The little girl asked looking up at you hopefully. You kneeled down next to her with a gentle smile on your face and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"He'll love it" you told her, Lala nodded as her brother mixed the ingredients before you poured the ingredients into a pan and placed it into the oven. The two children stared into the oven watching as the cake baked.
Later, Lala and Roro lay asleep in the living room, they had helped you prepare a party for Rody and it was a lot of fun. You and the male were the only two awake. You smiled at the male, and he smiled back with a soft blush on his cheeks.
"Hey (Y/N)" he said, looking down nervously.
"Yes?" You asked, looking at him, he stared at you for a moment as if he was thinking. He leaned forward and this time it was your turn to blush.
"I think I like you" he said before pulling you into a kiss.
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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rody soul having a crush on you
a/n: he now lives in my mind rent free i just had to come up with something
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screaming internally at how close you are to him that it only takes one little push from either of you to hold one another
staring for who knows how long at you until he finally notices that he's grinning so widely that it hurts his cheeks
when you stare back, he'll pretend that he was looking at something else while awkwardly giving out excuses such as “the cloud behind you looks like a poop”
he tries so hard to remain unbothered with your casual flirting — throwing his own ones back at you — but pino shows just exactly how he's embarrassed and wants to crawl inside a hole
rody thanking whatever being he can name because you don't know his quirk so pino can just do whatever and you wouldn't even think of associating the bird's action to his
inviting you out to get new clothes together then eventually holding a competition of who has better taste in fashion and he's very much okay losing to you
enjoys playing hide 'n seek when you're the one furiously seeking him out and he's laughing at how you're so bad at the game that he ends up blowing his position
remembering the things you say to him and when rody has the extra money, he'll get you what you've been gushing about for days as a present
he'll shrug when you sincerely thank him saying it was no problem at all, ignoring the way pino was receiving head pats and pecks from you because haha of course she was all over your face (that sly bird)
greatly admires the way you spend your precious time with him together with roro and lala
both of his siblings see you as their big sister and the first time rody hears them call you in that way, he swears his heart just did a somersault
he skillfully avoids questions thrown at him by roro about you and him being together
lala playing matchmaker for him and he has to beg his adorable cute younger sister not to play with him like that “do something else please!”
if you're a big fan of their little family, he'd be happily willing to tell you all the funny and memorable stories of their childhood
one night of recalling the past with you makes him quite sentimental and he can notice you being curious about their history
asking about his mother's death and father's disappearance in their life results with rody admitting how much he struggled taking care of his brother and sister while only being a kid himself
all that growing up they had to do without their parents, learning how to survive on their own, as well as putting up with the mistreatment others have showed them took a toll on him than he would have expected
pino is chirping sadly on your lap as he remains strong in appearance, not wanting to burden you further
the moment you tell him how much of a good brother he is and you're glad to have met him he couldn't help the tears that escaped his eyes as he quietly sobbed with pino
lending your shoulder, he tightly hugged your side grateful that you couldn't see the small smile forming on his lips when he hides his face on the crook of your neck
he's genuinely appreciative of you for being there for him that he on the spur of the moment told you how he felt about you
a simple “i have a crush on you” left his mouth that he felt you take an intake of air which made him freeze and which then made pino chirp frantically, her wings attempting to get him out of the room
“...i like you too rody but don't you think that was so random?”
hearing you laugh brought his confidence back as he finally met your stare and chuckled, wanting to look cool in front of you and not look like a lovestruck fool
the mood brightening up when the two of you joked back and forth at the confession, finding out how and when you crushed on each other
you just had to ask why pino looked like she was flustered and malfunctioning that he couldn't keep it any longer from you and told you what his quirk was
rody may have been teased since that moment on by you but it did earn him your endless shower of affection towards him — intent on being the person that gives rody the love he truly deserved
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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Hii, can I request a Tommy x fem!reader where she’s recently passed away due to cancer or something and tommy dealing with her death. Maybe the techno part in the tribute to DSMP video was dedicated to her and he talks about It on stream and chat comforts him <3 she/her pronouns. Only if your comfortable with it
In our hearts 
Reader: fem!reader
[writing] or hcs 
Type: angst 
Warnings: mentions of readers death 
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Tommy placed two blocks in minecraft as Wilbur and Phil accompanied him in the call and game. Tommy was streaming that day and 2/4 sbi boys decided to join in. “I need more gold,'' Tommy says as Phil runs away to fetch more gold. Tommy didn't look well, his face looked like the verge of crying and wilbur down. Philza was trying his best to comfort them and himself at the same time. Phil came back with the gold and gave it to tommy. Tommy kept working on his build as Phil and Wilbur chatted to him. 
Lets see, now where were you in the picture? Sadly dead. A few days before the stream you got into a terrible accident, having Tommy be the first one to know. His screams and pleas were the last thing you heard before everything turned to black and you woke up. But not on earth. Everything happened so fast you didn't even have time to say goodbye. Soon after everyone heard about the news, your fans and other members of the smp flooded social media with all their prayers and comments for you. 
“We love you y/n
” Tommy said as he backed up from the building to reveal a monument just for you. Phil and Tommy stood by his side as Tommy can be seen in his camera crying. Will and Phil immediately started to comfort him. His chat was filled with comfort and ‘o7’s’ for you. “Fly high y/n
i love you..” tommy said before turning off his camera and once he got ahold of himself he soon ended the stream.
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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Love Someone - Fred Weasley Imagine
A/N: aaaahh xD this just happened and I got super excited about it xD I hope you guys like it as much as I did and I also want to thanks @roses-ztdx for their amazing help always xD
Request - Anonymous said: Hey! I love your writing! Can you do a Fred Weasley imagine where the reader is stuck in her animagus because she got hurt. So when Fred finds a little cat, he immediately notices she’s hurt so he helps her along with George. after that she with him all day still stuck as a cat. Before during dinner, she falls asleep on Fred’s lap and is suddenly turns back. Maybe Fred always had a crush on her. And she felt the same: There all shocked to see it’s Draco Malfoy best friend :)
Warnings: shirtless Fried ;) and pure fluff, also the italics are the reader thoughts when she’s a cat xD
Disclaimer: I don’t own Harry Potter :) gifs aren’t mine :)
Your name: submit What is this?
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Love Someone
When you love someone, your heartbeat beats so loud When you love someone, your feet can’t feel the ground
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“Hey, (Y/N)?”
“Hmm?”
“You might want to clean up the drool that you’ve got on your chin” Draco said, handing you a napkin.
“Bugger off!”
“What is wrong with you? I don’t even know why we’re friends” Draco complained before you smacked him on the head. “How can you be in love with Weasel-”
“Shut up! Don’t call him that! And someone might hear you-”
“You’re as red as Weasley’s hair” he said with a smirk and earned another smack on the head from his best friend.
“Shut it!”
“Oh please, as if everybody hasn’t noticed by now” he laughed. “Hey, Blaise, who is (Y/N) madly in lo-”
“Fred Weasley” Blaise answered, without even looking up from his food.
“See?”
“I have no idea why you two are my best friends” you said, rolling your eyes.
“Whatever you say, Whiskers-”
“Stop calling me that!” you complained. “I will smack you again!”
“Your boyfriend is leaving” Draco said, nodding his head towards the Gryffindor table. You rolled your eyes again and stood up.
“Are you going to follow him?” Blaise asked.
“No! I just
 need to go to the Common Room because I forgot my b-book” you stuttered.
“You mean this book?” Draco asked, grabbing the book sitting at the table.
“No” you said, snatching it from him. “Shut up! I’m going to bed!”
“To dream about Weasley-?”
“SHUT IT!” you yelled at your two friends, smacking Draco’s head with your book before you left the Great Hall.
Keep reading
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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Imagine being Wolfstars daughter and having a jily type love story with Harry.
warnings : swearing.. Is that it, idk.
btw EVERYONE IS ALIVE as it should of been
first of all, you are literally the light in both sirius and remus’ lives.
when you were little, and remus had come back from a full moon sore and uncomfortable, your adorable baby giggles cheered him up
when sirius just wasn’t in a good mood for whatever reason seeing you swat baby harry over the head with your star plushie as he tried to hug you always made him laugh
even at the mere age of one lily held so much sympathy for ya, seeing harry’s affection for such a young age.
she just seriously hoped he wasn’t like his father in showing his affections
unfortunately lils was vastly incorrect.
harry’s affection for you and your distaste to it was always obvious to anyone who watched the two of you
but it was when you were both five, you all were at a muggle zoo and he went around telling kids your age that you were his wife that they truly noticed the familiar pattern
lily almost went down to the local church and said a prayer when harry asked you on a date at the age of seven, granted he couldn’t really take you anywhere but still
it showed how the future would pan out
when you both grew up more it was clear how much like your parents that you were
harry was practically all james personality wise
while you had a perfect mix of both your dads
sirius and james had hoped that when the two of you were born, you’d be like the both of them. besties for resties đŸ˜©
but instead youse were practically jily’s love story reincarnation
as time went by, harry’s affection for you blossomed into passionate love he was absolutely not afraid of confessing
albeit in ways you found so annoying and embarrassing you wanted to brutally run him over with a lawnmower
your emotions, however, changed extremely negatively for him over the years
his constant —what you considered borderline harassment— annoying you to no end
and it’s not even like you could annoy him cuz you were neighbours back home and you were always at there’s vice versa.
plus he literally had your daily schedule remembered while he couldn’t fucking remember his own
due to your situation, you and lily got along AMAZINGLY
she was like your bestie despite the fact she was 21 years older than you
you fully talked shit about her son to her and she’d talk shit about james in the past and now while you both drank tea and ate snacks
now don’t get me wrong, sirius loves harry. he does. but he is totally an overprotective dad.
is like “my daughter is not stupid enough to fall for a potter.” all good-naturedly
and james is like “puh-lease us potters are irresistible.”
remus is the more laid back dad when it comes to this situation with harold
he’ll tease you about it
and will happily listen to you bitch about it
but low-key high-key ships you both
when you’re both finally sixteen, sirius throws you the BIGGEST sweet sixteen party ever
all the family’s there, aunt marls, aunt dorky, uncle reggie, aunt mary, aunt alice, uncle franky, grandma hope and grandad. cousin nev is there too. your school friends. a load of people.
this is the first time anything actually happens between u and lightning bolt pots
he asks you to dance, probably blushing the shade of elmo
and to his utter shock you say yes
hey you only live once right?
anyway so you’re dancing and the conversation is actually flowing really smoothly and you find yourself enjoying his company
meanwhile the poor lad is trying to calm his skyrocketing heart rate
then he’s like “you look really beautiful by the way.”
and you’re all like. pause. just kinda staring at him
and he’s like “what it’s the truth.”
feeling slightly tipsy anyway, you hug him as a mindless thank you
form the corner of the room sirius is slapping james shoulder repeatedly and in disbelief and he watches you hug while james quietly cheers
sirius was on a state of disbelief as you pull back with a casual kiss to harry’s cheek like you hadn’t hated him since birth
james is smirking but his face his all flushed from alcohol and his hairs a right state so he looks a bit like this : đŸ‘č
anyway chile moving on—
lily is grinning brightly, winking cheekily at her son who’s completely frozen in place with an open mouth and flaming cheeks
remus is sipping on his beer quietly with a small smirk maybe his ship is finally becoming reality
aunt marls and dorky are too busy making out to even notice
alice ‘n frank share a grin and frank reluctantly hands her money from their bet which she takes with a wink
uncle reg left right after he gave you a hug and your gifts, people and parties weren’t his thing
and ron and hermione have to fully drag harry from the dance floor as people start giving him strange looks
best. night. of. his. life.
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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hellooooo<3 so, ive always loved the idea of Harry having an older protective sister(he really need one😭) could u pls do a headcanon of how she protects harry and their relationship? annnnddd how she also is dating Fred?? my heart needs it, pls and thank u❀
i LOVE THIS 
(also i switch from third person pov to second person in the middle of this so im sorry :) but its fine ) 
ok 
i know a common headcanon/ fancanon for harry’s sister is that she looks like lily 
but hear me out 
Y/n Potter who looks exactly like James 
i mean to the T
and Lily would always make little teasing comments about how both her kids look like their dad and james is just :)
anyway
just picture it 
dark brown, wavy hair that was just tussled enough at all times
blue eyes
and the round rimmed glasses that James used to wear
stOP SHE WEARS HER DADS GLASSES BECAUSE WHEN SHE WAS LITTLE SHE’D PULL THEM OFF OF HIM AND AFTER HE DID SHE KEPT THEM AND WHEN SHE MISSES HIM SHE WEARS THEM AND THEY ARE SLIGHTLY TOO BIG AND SIT CROOKED ON HER FACE 
i made myself cry
anyway
lets talk protecting harry first then we will get into dating fred 
so she’s older meaning she’d be in Hogwarts for before him
let’s say she's two years older
George and Fred’s year
and she’d hear the whispers about her 
obviously
and i think she wouldn't tell harry
she would know the story of how their parents died and who harry was to the wizarding community but in an effort to protect Harry’s innocence and childhood for just a little while longer she wouldn’t tell him
at least not until he got to school then she’d be the one to tell him everything 
she is fiercely protective of Harry 
if someone so much as looked at him funny she was chewing their head off 
Harry might’ve been like James 
but Y/n Potter is James 
down to the way her eyes would narrow at someone in class when they made a rude comment 
or she’d try to charm her way out of trouble 
or charm Harry out of trouble
oH MY GOD SHE’D BE IN MCGONAGALL’S CLASS AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS WOULD SAY SOMETHING FUNNY AND SHE’D BE TRYING SO HARD TO HOLD IN HER LAUGH AND SHE’D MAKE THE SAME FACE JAMES WOULD MAKE WHEN TRYING NOT TO LAUGH
Mcgonagall almost cried 
she needed a moment 
ok Y/n would take the first week or so just to show Harry around Hogwarts 
she did not care if she was late
Harry was going to feel comfortable 
oH SHE NEARLY BEAT OLIVER WOOD WITH A BEATER’S BAT WHEN SHE FOUND OUT HE PUT HER TEENY LITTLE BROTHER ON THE QUIDDITCH TEAM AS A SEEKER
she is also part of the team, a chaser
will get spend most of the first few games with Harry making sure he’s ok
yeah malfoy doesn’t stand a chance
never did
10/10 would use the cloak to prank him
all the time
nothing is out of limits 
especially after he’s been nasty to Harry and his friends
growing up harry gets all embarrassed when she protects him because hes 15!1!1! he can handle it 
she is kinda hurt 
very dramatic 
“mY WITTLE BROTHER DOESN’T NEED ME”
“y/n... please”
“nO ITS OK HARRY I GET IT, ILL GO”
“where are you going?”
“YOU DON’T NEED ME ANYMORE, I AM NO LONGER NEEDED HERE”
“you don't HAVE TO LEAVE, WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS”
Ron was giggling on the couch in the common room he thought this whole scene was hilarious 
ron thinks she is so cool
ok i think she’d also have these little bits of lily that would shine through
unlike harry and james, who could just inhale near a book and get just above average grades
she took pride in studying and being able to sit down and absorb material 
Lily always passed with flying colors because she was a good student who wanted to prove herself 
it was the satisfaction of spending hours studying and being able to retain the information and apply it to earn an amazing grade that she loved
she passed this on to you
as well as her kindness to people who she believed deserved it
and quick wit
you two also had the same hands 
you had everything else from James but your hands looked like your mothers
down to the way your nails grew and fingers held a quill
snape hated it
because he really couldn’t hate you
he was weird around you though
hes just weird
where he'd bully and embarrass Harry 
he couldn’t do that to you because you wouldn’t give him the chance to
you knew the material
you knew the answer 
and he hated how when your hand shot up it looked just like Lily’s 
but you were making the stupid face James would when he’d concentrate 
you did not like snape
at first you were impartial 
then when you heard how rude he was to Harry...
it was also over for him
he didn’t stand a chance 
you had an affinity for pranks, fiercely protective, and you had gall 
your hand writing also looked like Lilys and snape had a rough time grading your essays
tough for him 
:)
also if any rumors went around about harry you were quick to make them actually about you
harry is the heir of slytherin?
actually no Y/n Potter is, there is no evidence but we just heard that it was her somewhere 
you didn’t care as long as no one was being rude to Harry
leTS TALK DEATHLY HALLOWS
so you don’t go with them on the hunt for Horcrux 
and you’d be going insane not knowing how they were or if they were ok
because all your life you had been able to protect to some extent 
but you were completely helpless now
you could do nothing
and then at the battle of hogwarts 
pLEASE
no one stood a chance
the feeling of seeing harry again
beaten, bruised, but still alive 
it was overwhelming
then seeing Hagrid crying in his seemingly dead body
also overwhelming
because you had failed 
you couldn't protect him 
and he heard you scream first 
it was loud and strangled and Harry felt so bad but he knew he had to do this 
I like to think Y/n Potter is the one who killed Voldemort in the end 
you cant argue with me on this sorry
ok
now
lets talk
dating freddie
so he’d probably notice you here and there starting in first year
but he was an eleven year old boy and girls were not on his radar right now
but he thought you were funny and pretty cool 
and your round glasses that were just a little too big for your adolescent face made you look cute 
then you tried out for the quidditch team with him and George 
you were amazing 
not only did you have James natural talent for the sport but that paired with Lily’s tactical thinking and quick mind
you were unstoppable 
you were brought on the team as a seeker 
and you were good at it too, but it wasn’t you’re favorite position
it entailed a lot of waiting and not really moving until you caught sight of the snitch
it was your excellent flying mixed with the fact that you literally had no sense of self preservation that made you a really good seeker
you'd just
nose dive 
if you hit the bottom you hit the bottom oh well 
but when Harry showed up you were happy to give him your position as seeker and take on the more exciting (at least to you) job of chaser
it was your quidditch playing that really got fred’s attention
because you were good 
and during team lunches or team hang outs you were always the life of the party
not because you were avidly trying to be 
but like james, people jus gravitated to your goofiness and happiness 
it was about the middle of fifth year fred realized he had a crush on you
and little man was panicked 
you had noticed fred before that
obviously 
but he was always just the funny guy on the team 
but as everyone knows the potter’s have a thing for gingers 
and it was when they came to pick you and Harry up from the Dursley's just before the quidditch world cup that you saw how attractive he really was 
please its james and lily all over again
kinda 
you become the funniest person in the room when he’s around
always smiley
lilypad?
no.
freddie bug
aH STOP PLEASE THAT’S SO CUTE
YOU’D JUST STARE AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE 
it would get to the point you'd be just blatantly flirting 
and fred bluSHES
BECAUSE HE ISN’T USED TO BEING THE ONE ON THE RECEIVING END OF SUCH CLEAR FLIRTING
usually he is the one to pick up girls
he has the charm
likes to make them blush
but yOU CAN JUST LOOK AT HIM WITH A STUPID SMILE AND HES BE ALL GIDDY 
he could barely get a compliment in between your flirting
“Morning Freddie bug, looking cute as always.”
George thinks it both hilarious and disgusting
ron just thinks its disgusting 
but fred is ultimately the one to make the first move to be more than just friends who flirt when the yule ball comes around
he asks you
“Potter! Potter!”
“yes?”
“You, me, Yule ball....”
and as he’s pantomiming it (ya know like in the movie) he also pantomimes a very heavy make out session then what you could assume would be kisses all over your face
it was now your turn to blush as you agreed to go with him
you guys started dating after that :)
pLEASE ONCE HARRY GOT WITH GINNY AND HE SAW A PICTURE OF YOUR PARENTS 
YOUR MOM BEING A RED HEAD AND YOU AND HARRY LOOKING JUST LIKE YOUR DAD
HE WOULD NOT STOP THE JOKES
“i see why you’re with me. it’s my hair isnt it?”
“what? no its no-”
“you probably wouldn’t even look my way if i didn’t have red hair. you potters are unbelievable.”
“you are such a dummy”
“oH AM I? BUT YOU KEEP ME AROUND BECAUSE OF THE HAIR. I SHOULD’VE KNOWN IT WASN’T MY SPARKLING PERSONALITY THAT YOU LOVE.”
taglist:
@amourtentiaa
@siriusement
766 notes · View notes
disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
Text
Ron: *says something*
Y/n:
Y/n: come here.
Ron: No.
Y/n: just come here
Ron: no, you’re gonna hit me.
493 notes · View notes
disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
Text
Y/n: Two years ago, I married my best friend.
Y/n: Bill is still mad about it, but me and George were drunk and thought it was funny.
3K notes · View notes
disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
Text
Sand Gods
Masterlist
Wilbur Soot x fem!streamer!reader
Platonic Philza x fem!streamer!reader
Summary: You and Wilbur have a disagreement on dinner preference and decide to make it Phil's problem
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: Language/cussing, sand, my standard disregard for grammar
Dialogue Key
Y/N ... (S/N = Ship Name)
Wilbur
Phil
Chat
â—ăƒ»â—‹ăƒ»â—ăƒ»â—‹ăƒ»â—ăƒ»â—‹ăƒ»â—ăƒ»â—‹ăƒ»â—ăƒ»â—‹ăƒ»â—ăƒ»â—‹
Phil was having a chill stream, it was just him and chat as he worked on his most recent build.
Every once in a while, the man would look over and answer a question -usually one that would branch into a long winded story- until he got sidetracked.
It was enjoyable in a calm and laid back way, a far cry from the other streams he'd been a part of recently. 
At least, it was calm until his phone rang. He looked down seeing your name scroll across the top. 
"Welp" he sighed dramatically, showing the phone screen to the viewers, "Guess it had to end sooner or later, huh?"
Phil knew you were aware he was streaming, so there was no way this was an important call. Just like the rest of his internet children, you had a hobby of busting in somehow and derailing his streams. 
"Oh god, here we go." he breathed out, putting the phone on speaker the moment he pressed accept.
The second he accepted, loud cheering and taunting laughter flooded through the phone making him jump slightly.
"HOLY SHIT!" you screamed jumping around a little as you pointed to your split computer screen where Wilbur was on a face call. His phone also pressed to his ear as he glared back at you. "HE ANSWERED ME FIRST! I WON-" 
"Woah, woah- Y/N calm down-" The blonde man interrupted, thoroughly confused at what was happening. He was only slightly clued in when he overheard Wilbur grumbling in the background.
Phil laughed a little, realizing the two of you were also streaming, "Ok, what on Earth is going on?"
"Oh," you lowered your voice, as if you hadn't just been screaming in your room for the past fifteen minutes, "well, Wil and I got in a bit of an argument because he won't admit he's wrong-"
"THAT'S BECAUSE I'M NOT WRONG!" Wilbur yelled, hoping to get picked up and carried over so Phil could hear, "N/N IS BEING INSANE-"
"AM NOT"
Phil laughed under his breath, "Children, children!" he chided, "Inside voices, please."
Wilbur whined with a pout drawn on his face, "BUT THEN YOU WON'T HEAR ME"
"Yeah... that was kinda the point of calling dumbass." you gloated smirking at the brown haired man, "You're just mad Phil answered my call and not yours."
And thus you and Wil divulged into bickering once more. 
Phil's head was spinning. He had both of your voices blasting through the speaker and chat was going a mile a minute.
DADZA HELP
THE KIDS ARE FIGHTING
DADZAAAAA 
He groaned, hands raising to his forehead. All he wanted to do was make some videos of himself playing games. If he knew he'd end up a sudo-father to a bunch of 20 year olds, he may have decided against it. But nope- now he was stuck here with you two seconds away from blowing out his phone speaker.
"Hey, hey, hey" he spoke up, quieting the two of you, "to be fair, I did only see Y/N's call-"
"So that means you would've chosen mine if you had the choice?" 
"I didnt say that" The blonde sighed, "what I was going to say was-"
"You were really going to pick me all along because I'm your favorite?" 
"No. Stop interrupting me!" Phil exasperated, "What I was going to say, was I only saw Y/N's call, so I hadn't even noticed Wil was calling."
You snickered, facing the video projection of Wilbur, "Did 'ya hear that? Dadza said you're unnoticeable."
"Did not" 
"Did too" 
"Jesus Christ-" Phil rearranged the windows on his computer to make room for a call option. He spoke one last time before ending the call and setting his phone down, "I'm putting you both in a singular call for fucks sake." 
Within minutes, all three of you were in a joint call. Vocal cords and speakers intact. 
"Ok" Phil sighed, "Now, what is the issue- and I swear if its something stupid-"
"Oh, it's not stupid."
"It's a very serious matter. I would never joke about this."
To say the older man was suspicious would be an understatement. You and Wilbur remained straight faced and stern, but he knew there was no way it was as serious as you were making it out to be.
He raised an eyebrow, "Ok, so lets have it."
Wilbur was the first to speak up this time, keeping his voice calm and steady, "Y/N thinks Moon Sand is the best flavor of sand."
Phil's head dropped to his hands, "Oh my god, not this shit again."
NOT THE SAND BIT
HE GOT Y/N HOOKED ON IT TOO
HELP NOT AGAIN 
WILLIAM NO
You looked scandalized at Wil's words, "That's because it is! Moon Sand is a million times better than a stupid hourglass or something."
"Well, at least hourglasses have real sand" Wil shrugged, "Moon Sand isn't actually sand N/N."
You gasped loudly, picking up the nurf gun you had on your desk and pointing it at him- well technically pointing it at the screen, "Take that back right now."
The brunette only shook his head, shrugging once more, "I will not concede. Moon Sand is not real sand."
"Hold on- can we just-" Phil stuttered trying to rein in his thoughts, "Why are we eating sand? I told you not to do this last time."
"Date night." Wilbur spoke as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. 
"Date night?"
"mhm"
Phil just sat stunned hoping that eventually, one of you would explain further.
Wilbur, of course, was glad to indulge with the entire (slightly dramatized) story. "Ok so, naturally, Y/N and I were taking a nice stroll down the beach looking for some cows to slaughter-"
"He's talking about Minecraft, Phil" you added upon seeing his wide and slightly concerned eyes. 
"-yes of course, in Minecraft, you know- naturally you begin talking on walks like this, so we begin talking about how she's coming back to the UK soon."
"Mhm, yep. Very exciting. I still don't see what this has to do with the sand thing."
"I'm getting there Phil, be patient. Anyway, we begin planning a date night for when she gets here. I'm sure you already know this Phil, but you do need to eat at these things-"
"Yes, very true."
"-so I mentioned how delectable the sand was looking today, you know, since we were on the beach. Naturally, she agreed. So then I mentioned that maybe we could have a nice sandy meal."
The blonde man rubbed his eyes and deadpanned looking directly into the camera, "You lot are the bane of my existence." His words going pretty much unnoticed as you continued nodding along to Wilbur's recounting of the events.
"And of course since I'm an amazing, caring, wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend-"
"Eh, I mean, you're alright."
"Since I'm an amazing, caring, wonderful and thoughtful boyfriend" he repeated louder in spite, "I told her she could choose, and I asked what her favorite type of sand was. Phil, you already know the rest but she had the audacity to say Moon Sand!" 
The older man just sighed, "Hey, I have a wonderful idea. Why don't you two just go to a restaurant like a normal fucking couple?"
"Because we're not a just a normal couple Phil."
"Yeah, plus going to a restaurant is basic."
"Basic is better than sand-"
"No"
"No" 
"-Yes! Yes being basic is better than eating sand! Wil, we went over this already! Sand is bad for you!" Phil was frazzled, arms waving wildly as he spoke, "Now you've gone and gotten Y/N in on your bad habits- it's gotta stop man."
You quietly raised your hand, only speaking once Phil nodded at you, "Uh- Wil actually didn't get me into it... I ate sand long before I met him." The man groaned again, rubbing his eyes in frustration. "Why are you so against it anyway?"
"Because its bad for you!"
"But have you tried it though?"
He stuttered, "No, but I don't have to, to know its bad for you!"
"Why though?" 
"Yeah Phil, why?"
"Be-because it's sand!"
"Wow Phil. That's it?" you shook your head disapprovingly, "That's your only reason? Pretty judgmental of you. Whatever happened to 'don't judge a book by its cover'?" 
"It's not a book! It's sand! You're talking about eating sand."
"But when they say it they're not really thinking about books are they?"
"No. They mean prejudice and bully-like behavior."
"Exactly. So, Phil, I think it would be best for Wilbur and I to go so you can have some time to reflect."
Wilbur nodded thoughtfully, "Really take a deep look inside yourself Phil, and ask yourself why you hold such a strong hatred for such a prominent object in nature." 
"I'm a bit disappointed to be honest."
"Me too. I really thought you were better than this Phil."
and with that, the both of you logged off, leaving an extremely confused Philza and chat behind. 
I'm so confused 
what on earth just happened 
I- they started off toddlers calling you and literally screaming about sand- and somehow you the ended up the bad guy?
That's S/N for you
"You're just as confused as I am... right chat?"
yep
definitely 
100%
"Thank God."
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
Text
Karl: So you really believe me?
Y/n: Karl, you are the last good person on the face of this miserable planet. I’d believe you if you said cartoon birds did your hair this morning.
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
Text
Technoblade: Do you wanna know how I really hurt my wrist?
Tommy: Yes
Technoblade: I was hoola hooping. Philza, Y/n and I attended a class for fitness and fun.
Tommy: Oh my god
Technoblade: I’ve mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.
Tommy: Why are you telling me this?
Technoblade: Because no one will ever believe you
Tommy: You sick son of a bitch
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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Wilbur and Y/n: *staring into each others eyes*
Tommy: *opens soda can*
Wilbur: We are having a moment
Tommy: And I'm having a cola
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disturbed-and-depressed · 2 years ago
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George, at an awards show: Well first of all I like to thank the love of my life Y/n for telling me that Dream was going to win so I didn’t bother writing a speech.
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