dissaccordentmind

[dissaccordentmind]

what would possess one human to stalk another for a decade or more ?? what could possibly be the motivation of an individual , so steeped in a slew of PSYCHOSIS-- To stalk, monitor and peruse another's digital persona??? what in the same hell do you want ?

why the hell bother with stalking me ?

I have nothing for you .

# wtf #WTF #abusive persistenc

[dissaccordentmind]

Dear God, please forgive me. I don't deserve your mercy, but I am beyond blessed by your grace. Please help me to understand how I might help others.

I can never répay you.

-me

[dissaccordentmind]

#totallyrandom and #manyapologies

Sometimes I want to die.

Sometimes I don't feel I have the ability to go on.

People who have not approached the grand canyon of chasm that is suicide, and carefully crept up to it's very edge ;

You can not understand the draw of oblivion.

If all that persists in life is pain, suffering, and suicidal ambivalence; doesn't oblivion have more appeal?

[dissaccordentmind]

Ugh. Today solidifies my incompetence. If only I never existed.

[dissaccordentmind]

Grief overwhelms my system. All I can think of is the pain and the loss

[dissaccordentmind]

Lost. Despondent.

Sometimes enough is enough.

[dissaccordentmind]

Political Misfit

So politically speaking, I'm an official in-be-tweener. My opinions on the issues veer both ways, depending on the issue.

In contrast, my wife is a pretty staunch republican, with the exception of her views on abortion. My family also seems to cling to extremes also - either extremely liberal, or extremely conservative.

The last 4-5 years have made it very difficult to be live in the wake of the independent view. The last 4-5 years have also made it very difficult to be the people pleaser that I naturally am.

This un-brave new world of extremes we live in, is becoming a very painful prelude to absolute division and ultimate destruction.

Rhetoric matters. Words matter. Calling your political opponent "stupid" (thanks msnbc) , does nothing to advance your political agenda...it only infuriates your counterpart even more. Inflating or skewing statistics (thanks foxnews) concerning issues like immigration, overbearing new gun laws, and general government over-reach, also does nothing but buttress the division already spawning.

Is there anyone out there like me? Do any true independents still exist?

If so, I could sure use your advice...

[dissaccordentmind]

Another day. Perhaps another day closer to peace of mind. If that's even possible.My chaotic cranium would greatly appreciate a reprieve.

[dissaccordentmind]

Scattered

Tattered and torn

Transfixed by confusion

The world that appears to me

Is but a past-portrayal of illusion.

The lenses I wear are thick and greyed by time

Lenses cracked and smeared with shame, torment, and fear

Display a world no one could endear.

[dissaccordentmind]

When the end is near

the only solace applicable will appear.

To let go

is not to admit another has won,

Just that this is a life undone.

Unraveled and tattered in shame,

my intentions are taken in vain.

Spun up on the worlds malice and strife,

Death needs no solace or advice.

The end here is the ceasing I wish,

There is no need to persist.

[dissaccordentmind]

Solace

No solace exists, when division persists.

[dissaccordentmind]

Drifting Apart.

As attitudes drift and splinter here at home in America, so do I.

My mind is splintering and fragmenting into screamingly undeveloped parts, each of which is expected to perform as a whole.

How is it that everyone who speaks divides us?

How everyone that speaks , strikes holes in the stitching that joins our very souls?

Who defines sanity? Lunacy? Right wing or left? Who defines conspiracy? Who says what is or isn't paranoid? A newly minted DSM -V??

So many considered paranoid, until of course, their existence is discovered post mortem.

Is this the end times? Are we not playing out the great fires and plagues and desperate last lashes of human existence?

Why is it that humanity just continues to flail about?

Can we ever get it together?

Or is humanity the ultimate experiment, drowning in its own pool of wasted existence.

The breath of extinction is upon us. Should we not heed its call?

[dissaccordentmind]

Focus

Another day, another compilation of confusion.  Who can focus when everything around us seems to demand our attention simultaneously.  How does one find their way when the path is so cluttered with unnecessary noise?��

“And miles to go before I Sleep.”

[dissaccordentmind]

Today the pain of living is exquisitely present. If only there was a sign ☢️ we could wear, like "fragile" , that would indicate to all that extra care is not only warranted, but absolutely necessary.

[dissaccordentmind]

Death is always near.

Sometimes coveted, other times feared, but alas, I always feel it's presence.

I miss you Cindy, always.

[dissaccordentmind]

Tech is twisting my brain 🧠. Things I watch on Android TV, show up on my feed and my phone. Every word I speak is monitored, counted, and recorded. Nothing is off limits anymore. Google knows everything, and can use it against you whenever they choose.

[dissaccordentmind]

Patterns everywhere. Relations. Possible integrations. Cohesive thoughts shattered. My mind can't help but constantly try to reconstruct and repair the puzzle of my dislocated self.

Where's the line? I shuffle along the border of insanity searching for the answers to the linking shadows I aim to reconnect.

How long can one survive while constantly teetering over the edge?